Scarred Souls

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Title: Scarred Souls



Author: Misty Moonlight/Co-author: QueenBoadicea



Beta: QueenBoadicea



Pairings: Severus/Harry



Published: 12/10/2008



Summary: A widowed Harry must bond with Snape in order to save his daughter’s life. Sev gains a family, for better or worse, and the hearts of two scarred souls will be changed forever.



Warnings: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Anal, Language, Humor, possible MPreg, Bonding, Original Characters, Family, OOC-ness,

non-canon, WIP



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Chapter 35: Better Late Than Never





“What do you think of Roger?”



Severus peered up from the book he was reading. Harry wasn’t sure what the title of this one was. He only knew it was dusty and had growled at him when he came too close—which explained why Severus was wearing dragonhide gloves while he handled it.



“Who’s Roger and why should I be thinking about him?” the older man asked coolly. While Severus was enjoying Harry’s company, he had to admit the man’s thought processes escaped him. Gryffindors never seemed to learn to think along rational lines, with the possible exception of Mrs. Hermione Granger-Weasley.



“No, I mean the name Roger. You know, for the baby. If it’s a boy.”



Bang! The twins were playing Exploding Snap and Albus crowed as he clapped his hands. “I win!”



James snorted. “Best two out of three.” He looked up at Severus. “I like Roger.”



Another of Seveus’s lip curls curved across his face and Harry ducked his head towards the baby book in his lap. Merlin’s shorts, that was weird. He shouldn’t be getting twinges in his trousers because of a sneer. “So. What about Roger?” he managed, keeping his eyes firmly on the page.



“As a choice, it is less than inspired. Why should I want such a pedestrian forename for my firstborn?” Was he to have children with no better labels than the Weasley clan? Bill, Percy, Fred and George, Charlie, Arthur were such dull names. Severus suppressed a shudder at the thought that the child might be named “Ronald”.



“What’s peddessian?” Albus asked.



“Pedestrian. It means commonplace or ordinary, Albus,” Severus supplied.



“What’s wrong with Roger?” Harry demanded. “Honestly, why do babies have to have weird names just because they’re born into wizarding families? Doesn’t being magical make them special enough?”



“Words have symbolic meaning for wizards, Harry. Your dogfather, Regulus and Draco were all named for the constellations they were born under, far more meaningful choices than a trivial name picked because it sounds pleasant.”



“What’s trival?” James chimed in.



Severus answered absently, “Trivial. Unimportant.”



“There’s nothing trivial about the name ‘Roger’. It’s a good solid English name,” Harry protested.



Severus sighed in a much put-upon manner. Harry was completely wrong, as usual, and insisting that he was right. “Actually, the name comes from the German. It means ‘famous spear’.”



Harry glanced down at the small print listed under the name. “Oh. Um, how do you know that? Were you looking for names in your spare time?” he asked with a sly smile.



“Of course not!” Severus snapped. “I get enough of that nonsense from Poppy.” He shifted with irritation, the book emitting a warning grumble in his hands. “This is all a moot point anyway. I’m not even certain…” He glanced towards the boys. He clearly didn’t want to talk about his plans for an abortion in front of them.



“What’s a ‘moot’?” James demanded.



“It means subject to debate—talk about—not a serious subject. The two of you would benefit greatly from a dictionary,” Severus sighed. “Perhaps I shall give you one for your birthday.”



Harry waited. “Well, Severus?”



“Well what?”



“How did you know what ‘Roger’ meant?”



Severus’s features tensed. He looked embarrassed and Harry wondered why such a simple question should trouble him.



Then he muttered, “When I was a small boy, my mother held out the hope for other children. We—went through a book of baby names together. I remember a great many of the names she studied and their meanings and origins.” He greatly hoped Harry wouldn’t make any further inquiries. He wasn’t sure he could keep his composure if the man pushed him too far on this subject.



Harry wanted to ask why she hadn’t done this with her husband. But he guessed the answer and decided not to pursue it. Inwardly he was thrilled. It was one of the rare times Severus divulged a personal comment about his past. It made him feel a little bit closer to the man. And then he wondered why that caused him to feel so warm inside.



He bent over the book again. Then his face lit up. “We can call the baby ‘Sheridan’. That’s a good name for a boy or a girl. It means…”



“Seeker. Not an entirely imaginative choice, is it?” Severus said dryly.



“Sounds girly, Daddy,” Albus said as he laid down another card.



“It is a tad effeminate,” Severus concurred.



James struggled to follow the conversation. “What’s effemilate?”



“Effeminate. What your brother said, James.”



“I like it. Is it so bad?” Harry murmured, feeling unaccountably small.



Severus frowned at him. “I would want a child of mine to have a name with some special significance to myself.”



“Signifi-what?”



“Importance, Albus.”



Harry cleared his throat. “What about ‘Theora’ for a girl?”



“I like it!” Albus crowed.



“We can call her Theo for short,” his brother responded with a wicked grin.



Despite his annoyance with the business, Severus found himself drawn into the subject. Harry’s green eyes sparkled when he was engrossed in any subject and he was thrilled to see it, hoping that he was in some small way responsible for his bond mate’s joy. “The Greek name for ‘watcher’. Why, may I ask?”



“Because you were watching out for me, even when you didn’t want to,” Harry said quietly. He stared Severus in the eyes, hoping to impress the Slytherin with his sincerity.



The statement appeared to stun his bond mate. Harry could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he’d caught Severus off guard; this would appear to be one of them. The man nodded slowly. “That…would be acceptable for a girl.” He paused and then murmured, “Thank you.”



Harry hoped he wasn’t blushing, though his neck was rather warmer than the room’s temperature was accountable for. “You’re welcome.”



Lily was playing with her toys again, the cushy rug of the sumptuous living room having more than enough room for two men and three small children. She had dug out her dragon, sadly neglected all these days she’d been playing with her lion. The two animal toys were circling each other and then charging into mock fights, the lion swiping at the dragon with puffy paws while the dragon flapped its wings, reared and tried to tear the lion with its soft talons. Lily crowed and clapped her hands every time they tangled.



Finally, the lion appeared to have had enough. It ran away, ducking underneath Severus’s chair. The man didn’t notice it until it began butting its head against his ankles. Severus wordlessly levitated the plaything so that it dangled in the air above Lily’s head.



She fussed and whined as she reached for it. Then she pushed herself off the floor—and stood up.



Harry held his breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Severus had stopped reading, his entire attention focused on the little red-haired girl wobbling unsteadily on her two legs as she waved her hands for the out-of-reach toy.



The breathless hush in the room caught Albus’s attention. He cried out, “Look, James! Lily’s standing!”



Lily did more than stand. She took two shaky steps forwards before the toy dropped into her arms. Then her legs gave way and she collapsed to the rug.



Harry was up and moving to her before she had a chance to cry. He scooped up the little girl and began praising her and rubbing her bum, doing his best to distract her from any pain she might have suffered from her tumble. “Good Lily. You’re such a good girl! Standing and walking all on your own. I wish your mother could have seen that,” he added softly.



Severus stared unseeingly down at his book, hoping Harry didn’t notice his sudden irritation. Was he always to labor in the shadow of that dead woman? Severus had just witnessed the little girl take her first few steps, along with Harry. Yet the man didn’t think of him at all. The first thing that entered the Gryffindor’s mind was that his deceased spouse was no longer with him.



Harry didn’t see the cloud that darkened his bond mate’s face. He jumped when Severus loudly snapped shut the book, causing it to give off a muffled roar.



“Since it is impossible for me to study with such distractions, I believe I’ll retire to my room for the afternoon.” He stood to leave.



Harry didn’t get it. They’d been getting along so well. What had brought on this? He was about to demand an explanation when the floo activated, exposing a plump woman stepping briskly from the flames.



“Grandmum!” the twins cried, abandoning their game to run to Molly Weasley and hug her about the knees.



Lily waved her arms at the stout woman. “Gamma! Gamma!”



“Hello, boys! It’s good to see you all!” Her smiled dimmed slightly when she saw Severus. “Hello to you, too, Snape.”



“Mrs. Weasley,” he intoned.



She switched her attention back to Harry. “I just came by to see how you’ve been doing, Harry. I haven’t heard anything from you in so long. No owls, no floo visits. We are still your family, you know,” she said reprovingly.



“I know, Mum. It’s just that Severus and I have been getting better acquainted. Isn’t that right, Severus?”



“Quite.” Out of the corner of his eye, Severus noticed Harry edging ever so slightly towards the couch, where the incriminating book of baby names lay.



He stepped smoothly in front of Molly Weasley, shielding Harry from her searching gaze. “Mrs. Weasley, I wasn’t aware that my bond mate was under any obligation to make reports to you. I now have exclusive conjugal rights to him. His first and only duty is to myself.”



The smug tone and proprietary words worked in distracting her. Mrs. Weasley’s face immediately colored in anger. “How dare you? I don’t care if Harry is bonded to you, Severus Snape! You are not the be-all and end-all in his life! He’s a father now with children of his own to take care of and they take a far greater precedence over you. Also, he is still like a son to me and I’ll see him whenever I wish. Do you hear me?!”



Harry had shoved the book surreptitiously behind a pillow. Severus sneered at the irate Weasley woman. “All I see is a woman who’s suffering from empty nest syndrome. Unable to keep smothering—I mean, mothering—your own children, you’ve moved on to Harry’s. Well, he doesn’t need your persistent attentions and I’m glad to do without them.”



Before she could say another word, he swept from the room. Hopefully, Harry would have the sense to follow him before the woman saw anything suspicious.



“James, Al, leave your game behind. Let’s go talk with your Grandmum.”



“But I was winning!” Albus protested.



“You were not! You just got lucky!” James shot back.



“Oi, boys. Don’t fight,” Harry said. “If you want to keep playing, you can. Your Grandmum and I will chat in the kitchen.”



The two boys settled back to their game and Harry breathed a silent sigh of relief. He hadn’t been sure the ploy would work. After all, it was better the boys were kept away from Molly. Who knows what they might blurt out?



Harry handed over Lily as the girl hummed happily, once more gnawing on her lion’s ear. “Ooh, Lily! How big you’ve grown!” Molly cooed. “How has she been, Harry?”



“She took her first step today, Mum,” Harry said proudly, edging her towards the door.



“She did? Oh, how I wish I could have been there to see that?” Molly cried.



“I can make a Pensieve memory of it. You can view that, if you’d like.”



“That would be simply lovely, Harry. I didn’t realize you had a Pensieve. Arthur would like one but they’re so fearfully expensive.” She flushed and busied herself with Lily, refusing to meet Harry’s eyes. Their lack of wealth was still a sore point with the Weasleys, even after all these years. Harry knew enough not to harp on the matter.



“What about Molly?” Albus piped up suddenly.



“Excuse me?” Mrs. Weasley asked, raising her eyebrows in puzzlement.



“For the baby. If it’s a girl,” Al said matter-of-factly, his head still bent towards his game.



To Harry, it was as if the fireplace had blown jets of heat into the room and the floo had immediately sucked it out. Molly turned slowly towards him.



“Baby? What’s this about a baby?”



“We were thinking—I mean, Severus and I—about having another baby.” That was the truth; he still had no idea if Severus wanted to carry the baby to term. “And we were discussing baby names. Come along, Mum. Let’s leave the boys to their games.”



“No, Snape’s having a baby,” James protested, looking up at his Daddy and Grandmum.



“We don’t know that, James,” Harry muttered.



Albus frowned. Now he was confused. “Then why’s Poppy always here?”



“Poppy? Poppy Pomfrey?” Molly had set her heels against Harry’s grip on her arm, refusing to budge. “Harry, what is going on? Are you and Severus—having a baby?”



Harry shrugged helplessly. He hadn’t discussed revealing Severus’s pregnant status with anyone outside of the twins, Poppy and Hermione. But he knew the man’s deep-seated need for secrecy; he had taken it as a given that the news wasn’t to be given out on a casual basis.



“Indeed. However, I am but seven weeks into my pregnancy.” The low voice caused Molly to swing around in surprise. She managed to keep her hold on Lily, however, as she met Severus’s grave stare.



“You, you’re actually…” she stammered.



He nodded his head.



Now his adopted mother gave Harry a genuinely wounded look. “Harry, why didn’t you tell me?”



He cast Severus a beseeching look. Help me!



“Mrs. Weasley, perhaps we might discuss this further in more private quarters.”



“Can we come?” Now that it was clear they were being excluded, the twins, with the natural perversity of children, wanted to hear what the grownups were saying.



The look Severus gave them could have frozen the Hogwarts lake. “No.”



The man might have become less mean to them over the last few weeks. But that didn’t mean James and Albus had forgotten how scary their stepdaddy could be. They turned back to their game, sneaking nervous looks at him as he left with their father.



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“Just a moment, Harry.” Severus pointed his wand at Harry’s bedroom door. He fired off a rapid succession of spells at the door—some Harry recognized, some he didn’t. He privately made a note of them in case he wanted to use them another time.



Molly shook her head. “Still so paranoid, Severus. The war is long over, you know.”



“True. But Harry’s hellions are more prying than all of the Dark Lord’s Death Eaters put together.”



“You can call him Voldemort, you know, Severus.” Harry rolled his eyes.



Severus winced. “You will pardon me, Harry. Old habits die hard.”



“Obviously.” Harry squinted at the door, now vibrating with such strong wards against eavesdropping and trespass that he could almost see them, wavering lines of color too faint to be identified.



Molly stared at the Pensieve in the corner but evidently decided against looking into it for the moment. She plopped down on the bed, still holding her youngest grandchild, leaving the two men to seat themselves as best they could. “So. You’re really pregnant.”



“I believe I’ve stated the case,” Severus responded dryly.



Harry glared at him. Don’t. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Mum.”



“You should be sorry!” Her lips were pinched together, with anger or sorrow; Harry wasn’t sure. “I’m your mother, Harry, or as good as. Don’t you think I, of all people, should have known?”



“Harry’s silence was a concession to my need for secrecy. Someone had leaked our marriage to the Daily Prophet.”



“Not me,” Harry interjected.



“I’m aware of that, Harry. I no longer blame you and I apologize if I accused you unfairly. Because of that article, I was attacked in Diagon Alley a short while ago by some of Harry’s sympathizers who felt that he’d been ill done by in his marriage to me.”



“Goodness! I didn’t know.” She stared at him uncertainly. “I-I hope you weren’t badly hurt, Severus.”



“Your concern is touching,” Severus responded dryly. “I escaped unscathed. But that assault made clear that it is still not safe to show myself in public. Now that I am carrying a child, the need for secrecy is even more vital. I apologize on Harry’s behalf if his silence hurt you, Mrs. Weasley.”



“No need. I understand perfectly, Severus.” The protectiveness in her eyes, so reminiscent of Ron at his most defensive, softened. “I am sorry if I was too harsh a moment ago, Harry. It’s just—this is such a shock.”



Harry managed a small smile, hoping his relief didn’t show too baldly. Truthfully, he had half-feared Molly’s temper and had dreaded telling her. He hadn’t forgotten that she was the one to destroy the mad Bellatrix Lestrange.



Something seemed to occur to the woman and she glanced between the two of them. “Am I to take it then that you two have—worked things out between you?”



Severus spoke, smoothly covering Harry’s confusion. “Not all of our problems have been resolved. Our natures are quite different and that will cause a certain amount of friction at times. But I believe that Harry and I have come to an understanding.”



“Oh.” Evidently this rational explanation didn’t quite satisfy the Weasley matriarch. “How did the two of you—”



“That was a very personal moment. You will excuse us if we don’t go into detail about it.” Severus moved towards Harry and draped his arm around his waist. He hoped his smile into Harry’s face, while not bursting with affection, held enough warmth to satisfy the inquisitive woman.



Molly Weasley, who must have been no stranger to passion given her seven children, flushed right up to her eyebrows. Harry himself looked positively stunned by his actions…or was it something else that was causing that lithe form to tremble in his embrace?



“Oh. Well. That’s—that’s wonderful, it truly is,” Molly babbled. It must have occurred to her all of a sudden that she was perched on Harry’s bed and what had likely occurred there because she jumped to her feet as if she’d sat on Blast-Ended Skrewt.



“Harry, I’m so glad that you’re all right.” She lit up and smiled hopefully at her self-adopted son. “May I—may I tell Arthur the good news?”



Harry opened his mouth only to be interrupted by Severus. “Actually, I’m not certain that is an acceptable idea, Mrs. Weasley. Your husband is a Ministry official. I don’t want anyone at the Ministry of Magic learning this as yet; they have not always been reliable for their discretion in the past.”



Molly’s eyes narrowed. “Severus Snape, I’ll have you know my husband is as discreet as anyone. He may not be a paranoid Slytherin former Death—”



“I trust Arthur, Mum. If you want to tell him, that’s fine with us. Isn’t that right, Severus?” Harry wound his arm around Severus in turn. But his grip held a warning squeeze and those remarkable eyes flashed at him. Severus found himself momentarily unable to remember what he was going to say.



“Thank you, Harry. Congratulations…and to you, too, Severus.” She handed Lily to Harry and headed towards Harry’s personal floo. She turned back for a moment.



“And I wouldn’t mind ‘Molly’ for a girl’s name.” Her lips curved in self-satisfied smirk before she threw in the glittering powder and vanished in a cloud of smoke.



In the wake of her departure, Severus looked at Harry. “Don’t even think about it.”



However, given Harry’s flickering smile, he very much feared that his future daughter might very well be named after the Gryffindor’s self-proclaimed mother.



Merlin help him.





TBC