Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

MewMew2 - All credit for the quick updates have to go to my beta. She generally works on a two week turn around, but has been checking through my recent chapters much quicker over the holidays. I, myself, have been writing (apart from since the last update since I have been offline), but not as quick as all that. I am actually quite a way ahead of my beta in what is written on this story. I am currently working on part 50.

Thanks to everyone for your kind comments on this story.

Also, I came back online this morning to find that this story has been nominated at The Quibbler Awards for Best AU and Best WIP. I have no idea who nominated the story, but thanks to whoever it was if you are at this archive.

-----------------------------------------
This Ain’t the Way It’s Meant to Be
-----------------------------------------

Remus ran from the castle without much thought as to where he was heading. He realised as he entered the Forbidden Forest that he was making a beeline for his home in Hogsmeade, and taking the shortest route possible.

He stumbled as he ran through the trees and was only saved from falling down the steep hillside by a set of strong arms that helped to steady him.

“What are you doing out here at this time of night?” Firenze asked curiously.

Remus shook his head mutely, still too short of breath to actually speak.

Firenze guided him over to the trunk of a fallen tree and sat him down firmly. “What’s happened?” he asked as soon as it was clear that Remus was in a fit state to talk again.

“Nothing,” Remus replied, his face flushing with embarrassment, and making him thankful that it was so dark in the forest.

“It can’t be nothing,” Firenze stated confidently. “You’re blushing.”

Remus ducked his head to hide his face. “I’m just red from running,” he muttered.

“Maybe you humans can tell the difference, but you’ll find that we centaurs have much better vision than you lot. It’s what makes us such good hunters.”

“It’s what makes you so impossible to lie to,” Remus complained.

“What happened to make you run into the forest in the middle of the night?”

“I…” Remus hesitated and looked at his scuffed shoes with a frown. “Someone kissed me.”

Firenze laughed. “And that’s a reason to run into the Forbidden Forest at this time of night?”

“It is when it’s someone you didn’t expect to kiss you.”

“Was it Sirius?” Firenze asked quietly.

“How did you-?” Remus cut himself off abruptly, having long since given up on wondering how Firenze and the other centaurs seemed to be so knowledgeable about everything and everyone they came across.

“Because of the way he looks at you,” Firenze explained anyway. “The way he’s always looked at you.”

“I haven’t noticed him looking at me strangely.”

Firenze laughed. “Of course you haven’t noticed. He’s always looked at you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re the most precious thing in the world to him.”

“That’s just Sirius looking out for me. We’re best friends, and that’s what best friends do for each other.”

“Since, by your own admission, Sirius kissed you tonight, I think we can safely assume that it isn’t just him looking out for you.”

Remus was quiet for several minutes before he spoke again. “I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.

Firenze looked thoughtful for a moment before he replied. “Did you run out here right after he kissed you?”

Remus nodded.

“Then the first thing you should do is go back and apologise to him.”

“Apologise?” Remus spluttered. “He was the one who kissed me.”

“And by running off like this you’ve probably done more damage to your friendship than his kiss ever could have.”

“But he kissed me,” Remus repeated. “What am I supposed to say to him? What if he tries again?”

“You really think he’d risk you running off again? He’s probably worried about where you are, regretting kissing you and wishing he could turn back the clock so that he never did it.”

“You think?”

“Think about it, Cub. Suppose you kissed someone you really liked and they ran off right after…”

“I wouldn’t try again in a hurry,” Remus concluded. “I guess I’ve hurt him, haven’t I?”

“I’m sure an apology would go a long way to putting things back on track.”

Remus nodded, but made no move to return to the school. “It’s going to make things really awkward between us. My best mate fancies me.”

“It’ll only be awkward if you let it.”

“But he kissed me!”

“Is that really what’s bothering you?” Firenze asked. “Or are you more upset by the thought that maybe you liked it?”

“I didn’t!”

“Didn’t you?”

“No!”

“My mistake,” Firenze commented with a casual shrug.

“Why would you even think that I’d like kissing a boy?”

Firenze laughed and urged Remus to start walking back towards the school.

“Why?” Remus asked again.

“Why did I think you might like the idea of kissing Sirius?”

“Yeah.”

“Because you look at him the same way that he looks at you… or at least I thought you did.”

“I’m not like that,” Remus exclaimed as he hurried on ahead. “I don’t fancy boys, I like girls.”

“Any girl in particular?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean anything. I just don’t have time for dates and stuff. I’ve got my O.W.L.s to catch up with, and Quidditch; I just don’t have time for girls.”

“You have time for Sirius.”

“He’s my best mate, of course I have time for him.”

“And if you really wanted a girlfriend, you could find time for her, too.”

Remus huffed and grumbled as they reached the edge of the forest.

“I should be getting back to camp,” Firenze told him.

“What were you doing out anyway? Thought you had all that new security now?”

“Magorian has us patrolling the forest in case of trouble.”

“Sounds fun,” Remus commented sarcastically.

“Boring, pointless, and somehow I always seem to get the graveyard shifts.”

“Nice!”

“Not the word I’d have chosen,” Firenze muttered.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do about Ebony’s son, yet?” Remus asked, not only curious about the current situation at the centaur camp, but also eager to change the subject.

Firenze shook his head. “I keep putting off making the decision. Magorian tries to force the issue, and I avoid getting myself into situations where he can do so.”

“It sounds complicated.”

Firenze shrugged. “Not really, but sooner or later I’ll have to choose one way or the other anyway. Magorian knows that, and bides his time.”

“When will you have to choose by?”

“The summer after this next one,” Firenze replied. “After that I will either have to sponsor Taranis, or let another take that position.”

“Another like Magorian?” Remus asked.

Firenze nodded. “If I sponsor him and try to teach him the ways of our people, then I’m giving up my birthright. If I don’t, then Magorian will choose someone else, someone who shares his values, rather than those I learned from my father.”

“Seems like you’re in a no win situation to me,” Remus commented. They had reached the edge of the forest and Remus knew that Firenze had to return to his people.

“Which is why I seek to avoid making the choice for as long as I can,” Firenze replied before turning back to the forest. “Goodnight, Cub.”

“And don’t call me Cub,” Remus called after him. Firenze merely laughed and cantered off into the trees.

Remus didn’t want to go back to Gryffindor Tower. He suspected that Sirius was probably still waiting up for him in the common room, and he really didn’t want to have the discussion about what had happened just yet. He knew he would have to apologise for running off, but he couldn’t help wanting to put it off just a little longer.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius blinked owlishly at the ghost of Romulus Lupin, who had awoken him rather abruptly a moment before. “What time is it?” he asked around a wide yawn.

“Early. Why are you sleeping in the common room?”

“Didn’t mean to,” Sirius mumbled, rubbing his eyes and yawning again. “Was waiting for Remus to get back.”

“Back? Back from where?” Romulus was instantly alert and Sirius cringed slightly at the suspicious glare he received.

“Don’t know. He ran off last night and I can’t find him on the map at all.”

“He’s left the school grounds?” Romulus was heading to the door already. “Why didn’t you let me know?”

“You’re not exactly easy to get a message to,” Sirius pointed out, rushing out of the portrait hole after the anxious ghost.

“He’ll have gone home,” Romulus guessed. “I’ll go find him.”

“I’m coming, too,” Sirius insisted. Romulus didn’t bother to point out to him that he shouldn’t be leaving the school grounds, not that it would have made any difference.

“Why did he run off?” Romulus asked. “Was it more trouble over his Lycanthropy?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Then what was it?”

Sirius drew to a halt and waited for Romulus to realise that he was no longer running alongside him.

“Sirius?” Romulus turned round and made his way back to Sirius who was studying the stonework of the floor as though it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“It’s because of me,” Sirius whispered. “He ran off because of me.”

Romulus looked like he didn’t believe him at first, but then a look of resignation appeared on his face. “What happened?”

“I did something stupid and scared him away.”

“Care to clarify on the ‘something stupid’?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll haunt you ‘til you do.”

“You’d really do that, wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely. I’m a very meddlesome ghost, when I want to be. Now, what did you do?”

Sirius cringed again. “I sort of kissed him.”

Romulus blinked, opened and closed his mouth a time or two, then coughed loudly. “Sort of? You mean that you’ve finally told him how you feel about him?”

Sirius nodded his head. “Are you really mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” Romulus asked. “You care for my brother as much as…” He hesitated and gave a small smile. “Even more than I do.”

“But I scared him off. He ran away because of me.”

“Well, he won’t have gone far. Come on, let’s go find him.”

“He won’t want me to find him. He hates me.”

Romulus laughed again and shook his head. “I doubt that very much indeed.”

“But he ran off!”

“And we’re going to bring him back. Come on.”

Sirius and Romulus hurried from the castle and out onto the school grounds. “Romulus?” Sirius huffed as they swiftly slipped out of the gates.

“What?”

“You remember back at the start of fourth year?” Romulus nodded. “I didn’t think about it at the time, but later I wondered if you asked me to stop sharing a bed with Remus because you suspected something.”

Romulus shook his head. “I asked you to send Remus back to his own bed for the exact reason I told you at the time. It was only later that I realised you had a thing for him.”

“When was that?”

“I don’t know when I first started to suspect, but I knew for sure after he got attacked by that group of Ravenclaws. When I saw you with him after that… I just knew.”

Sirius chuckled to himself. “Sounds like you knew for sure before I did. I only really realised for definite during the summer holidays.”

Romulus sighed. “And now Remus knows.”

Sirius couldn’t stop himself from mirroring Romulus’s sigh. He just wished he knew what to say to Remus when they found him.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus grabbed one of the school brooms and took to the air above the Quidditch pitch. He hadn’t slept at all; instead he had sat on a bench in the bleachers, stubbornly avoiding going back to Gryffindor Tower. He was dreadfully tired and he knew that some flying would help to keep him awake.

Although he wasn’t a Beater, he released one of those dangerous balls and swung a bat experimentally. If nothing else, hitting bludgers across the sky would be sure to release some of the tension he was feeling.

He was still knocking the bludger around when the inhabitants of the castle started to rise. At first it was the appearance of the odd light or two in the windows. First in Ravenclaw Tower, then in Dumbledore’s office, until finally the sun came up and the castle began to bustle with life once more.

“We don’t have a practice this morning,” a familiar voice called out from nearby.

Remus turned to see Charlene hovering on her broom nearby. “I couldn’t sleep,” he called back.

“Well, a bludger to the head will fix that, but I don’t recommend it.”

Remus laughed and swung at the bludger, sending it careering away from both himself and Charlene. “I’m not that desperate for sleep,” he told her.

Charlene flew closer and looked at Remus properly. “Have you been to sleep at all?”

Remus shook his head. “Is it that obvious?”

“You look like hell!”

“Thanks,” Remus replied dryly.

“I’m heading back inside,” Charlene called, swooping down to the ground with a speed that made even Remus gasp at. “You coming?”

Remus nodded and emulated her descent, his speed a little slower, but still fast enough to cause two early morning flyers from Hufflepuff to jump back, startled.

“So, how come you couldn’t sleep?” Charlene asked as they walked back to the castle. “The team needs all the players to be wide awake and alert if we’re going to win the Cup this year.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine for the match,” Remus told her. “It’s nothing really.” He yawned widely and Charlene stifled a small smile.

“If you’re sure?” Charlene said.

Remus nodded, and they made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

He scanned the room for his friends, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that none of them were present. He slid onto the bench next to Lily and helped himself to a toasted teacake.

“Good morning to you, too,” Lily chided with a teasing smile.

Remus mumbled a reply around a mouthful of food and shrugged apologetically.

“So, Remus, did you ever find out who your Valentine was?”

“How do you know I got one?”

“I saw it,” Lily told him.

“Didn’t think you’d have noticed, what with getting your own.”

Lily snorted with laughter. “I’ll get you back for that, by the way.”

“I’d expect nothing less from the girl who has captured the heart of Mr James Potter.”

“Oh, don’t you start. I’m not interested in him and it’s about time he realised that. Anyway, stop changing the subject. I was asking about your card, not mine. Did you find out who it was from?”

Remus shook his head. “No.”

“You must have a few ideas, a guess or two?”

“Not really thought about it.”

“Not at all?” Charlene asked from across the table.

“I might have wondered on the day, but then I sort of forgot about it.”

“You forgot about it?” Lily asked, giving him a glare that he thought was entirely too sharp for the occasion.

“I’ve been busy,” Remus muttered. “And unlike you girls, we blokes don’t obsess over stupid stuff like Valentine cards.”

“So, who did you wonder about on the day?” Lily pressed.

Remus opened his mouth and closed it again before he said the first name that had popped into his mind. Sirius had insisted that he had not sent him the card as a joke, but could he have sent it as a way of trying to tell him how he felt? He cast his mind back to the day in question and tried to recall the exact words of their conversation, but it was too long ago and he couldn’t remember.

“Wouldn’t you like to know who sent it?” Lily tried again.

“You sound like you know,” Remus commented.

“I might.”

Remus turned to face Lily who was smiling sweetly and he wondered if she was the one who had sent the card to him. He hoped he was wrong; he didn’t want to get on the wrong side of James, not when their friendship had begun so shakily anyway.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius and Romulus returned from Hogsmeade, still no wiser as to where Remus had disappeared.

“Romulus!”

Sirius looked up to see the Hufflepuff Friar hurrying in their direction.

“Heard you were looking for that brother of yours?”

Romulus nodded. “He ran off last night. We don’t know where he’s gone.”

“Apparently not that far,” the Friar replied with a chuckle. “He’s in the Great Hall, enjoying a rather hearty breakfast.”

Sirius exchanged a look of relief with Romulus.

“Should have known he’d return when he was hungry,” Romulus said with a chuckle.

“A lad after my own heart,” the Friar replied. “I still say he should have been in my house.”

“I like having him in Gryffindor, with me,” Sirius pointed out.

“I’m sure you do,” the Friar agreed. “Now, why don’t you run and join him.”

“You coming?” Sirius asked Romulus.

Romulus shook his head. “I’ll catch up with you both later. I need a word with the Friar.”

Sirius looked at the two ghosts curiously, but it was clear that neither were going to elaborate any further whilst he was there. “I’ll be heading inside then,” he said, turning towards the entrance.

The Great Hall was crowded when Sirius arrived, but he had no trouble spotting Remus, who was laughing loudly from his seat next to Lily.

He was still hovering in the doorway when he saw Lily lean closer to him and whispered something in his ear. Remus looked surprised at whatever it was she had said and Lily nodded and smiled.

Sirius felt his fingers curling into fists as he watched. His appetite was gone and he turned on his heel and bolted for the staircase.

Classes were forgotten as he flung himself down on his bed and pulled the curtains closed.

“Hey, Sirius!” James poked his head in between the bed curtains. “Where’ve you been all night? And where’s Remus? Come on, we’ve got class in fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not going,” Sirius muttered.

“You can’t just not go to class,” Peter pointed out as his head appeared on the opposite side of the bed.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Remus?” James repeated.

“I’m not well,” Sirius lied. “And Remus is in the Great Hall getting breakfast. If you hurry, you can probably catch him.”

“Do you want us to get Madam Pomfrey?” Peter asked.

“No, I’m okay.”

“If you’re okay, you should be in class.”

“Just bugger off and leave me alone,” Sirius snarled.

“Fine,” James snapped back. “Come on, Peter, let’s leave him to his sulking.”

Sirius called out that he wasn’t sulking, but the other two boys had already left the room.

He remained in the dormitory for the rest of the day, and only moved from his bed when his hunger pangs forced him to rummage through his trunk for what was left of his stash of sweets from the last Hogsmeade visit.

His only visitor during the day was Madam Pomfrey, who had apparently been sent to check on him by Professor McGonagall after he had failed to show up to Transfiguration.

Not surprisingly, Madam Pomfrey failed to find anything wrong with him, although she did comment that he was looking very tired. She suggested peace and quiet and for him to rest and take things easy for the rest of the day.

Sirius shut his curtains and tried to get some sleep, but even though he was genuinely tired his mind was far too active to let him.

He heard the sounds of the common room getting crowded after dinner and frowned when he realised that the entire day had passed without Remus coming to check up on him. He felt a twinge of bitter disappointment when he recalled how frequently he had slipped up to the dorms when Remus had been hiding out in them.

The evening dragged and Sirius heard footsteps heading up the stairs and the door creaking open.

“Looks like he’s still sulking,” James commented. “Why don’t you see if you can sort him out?”

Sirius heard Remus sigh and move closer to the bed. “I’ll talk to him later,” he replied.

Sirius listened as he heard Remus moving things on the bedside table and walking across the room.

“What are you doing?” James asked, echoing Sirius’s own silent question.

“Moving my stuff back over here,” Remus replied.

“What for? You’ve not been using your own bed since Christmas.”

“I don’t want to disturb him, not if he’s asleep.”

“That’s never stopped you getting into bed with him before,” James pointed out.

“Just drop it,” Remus muttered. “I’m sleeping in my own bed tonight. It’s no big deal.”

Sirius heard James mutter something else, but he couldn’t make out the words over the sound of the door opening and Peter arriving in the room.

Gradually the sounds of the other boys died down, and eventually Sirius’s exhaustion overtook him and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

-o-xXx-o-

“Sirius?”

The voice whispered in the darkness and drew him out of his much needed slumber.

“Sirius?”

“What is it?” Sirius muttered, refusing to open his eyes to the bright glare of Remus’s lit wand.

“Can I talk to you?” Remus asked hesitantly.

Sirius opened his eyes reluctantly. “It can’t wait until morning?” he asked.

Remus shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Sure you want to sit there?” Sirius asked. He didn’t try to hide the bitterness in his voice.

“Do you really like me, you know, like that?” Remus replied, ignoring Sirius’s question entirely.

Sirius bit back a sarcastic response and simply nodded. Remus didn’t say anything for a minute and Sirius could see that he was shivering in the coldness of the dormitory. “You should get into bed,” he advised, nodding towards Remus’s bed across the room. “You’re freezing.”

Remus took his advice, but ignored the gesture towards his own bed. Instead, he quickly crawled under Sirius’s covers and propped himself up on one elbow. “I don’t fancy boys,” he said firmly. “Just so you know.”

“You kissed me back,” Sirius pointed out. “And before you say anything, I wasn’t drunk.”

“I know you weren’t,” Remus admitted, ignoring his first comment. “I just wanted to give you an out if you found out you regretted it later. Guess you aren’t going to though, are you?”

Sirius shook his head silently.

“I’m sorry I reacted so badly,” Remus whispered. “I didn’t mean to freak out like that. You just took me by surprise.”

Sirius nodded his acceptance of the apology.

“How did you know you liked boys and not girls?”

Sirius frowned as he thought about the question. “I guess I knew when I realised that it was only boys that made my heart race and my palms get all sweaty and… you know?”

Remus frowned and shook his head slightly. “Know what?”

Sirius knew that the sensible thing to do would be to say that it was only thinking about boys, and Remus in particularly, that ever got him hard. But with Remus lying in his bed, so close and yet not close enough, it was just so much more tempting to demonstrate his point. He also wanted to know whether this would prompt a reaction from Remus, since he appeared to be determined to ignore the fact that he had kissed him back.

He inched his way closer to Remus and tilted his hips ever so slightly towards the other boy. Remus’s eyes widened and his mouth opened into a small “oh” as Sirius proceeded to tentatively rub up against him. He would have stopped as soon as he knew he’d made his point except for one thing… the telltale twitch from within Remus’s pyjama bottoms that told him that his friend wasn’t entirely immune to his touch.

He wanted to speak, to say something, anything, but he suspected that a single word would break the spell that seemed to have settled over the two of them. So, instead he continued to rock his hips gently towards Remus, whose eyes fluttered closed as he quietly moaned.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Remus eventually whispered.

“It’s all right,” Sirius assured him. He reached across and rested his hand on Remus’s hip, caressing him gently.

“What if the others wake up?”

“You know James sleeps like the dead, and Peter won’t say anything even if he hears.”

“It’s still wrong,” Remus said. “It’s not normal.”

“What harm does it do anyone?” Sirius countered. “Lots of wizards are gay, just like lots of muggles are.”

“But, I’m not.”

“Aren’t you?” Sirius asked, rocking his hips a little more forcefully and eliciting a sharp breath from Remus who matched his movement with a thrust of his own.

“I have a girlfriend,” Remus replied.

Sirius stilled his movements so quickly that any observer might be forgiven for thinking that he’d been petrified. “What?” he whispered. “Since when? Who?”

“Since this morning,” Remus whispered. “We’re going on the next Hogsmeade weekend together.”

“Then what are you doing here with me?” Sirius snapped, his voice rising as he pulled away from Remus and sat up.

“I didn’t want this to happen,” Remus muttered. “I just wanted to let you know before you found out from someone else.”

“You could have just told me over breakfast or something.”

“And have you react like you’re doing now in front of the rest of the school?”

“The way I’m…” Sirius shook his head in disbelief. “If I’m taking it badly it’s because a minute ago we were practically getting each other off.”

“You mean you were getting off by rubbing your cock against me,” Remus argued.

Sirius reeled back as though he’d been slapped. “Get out of here!” he snapped. “Get back to your own bed, go on!”

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Please, Remus. Just go back to your own bed.”

“Sirius?”

“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

Remus nodded and crawled out from beneath the covers. Sirius couldn’t stop himself from looking at Remus’s crotch and felt a very brief moment of satisfaction when he saw how much his friend had liked what they’d been doing.

Remus was just climbing into his own bed when Sirius realised that he’d never answered his other question. “Remus?” he called across the room.

The other boy turned back to him with a questioning gaze.

“Who is she?” Sirius asked, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep until he knew the identity of the girl he was already beginning to see as his rival.

“Charlene,” Remus replied as he climbed into bed. “She was the one who sent me that card. Lily told me this morning.”

Sirius nodded to himself and settled back down beneath the covers. A quick glance at the other beds confirmed that both James and Peter had slept through the argument, but Sirius knew that he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He was painfully aroused, but the idea of taking care of the problem when he knew that Remus was lying across the room, thinking about his new girlfriend, seemed somehow distasteful to him.

--

A/N: I promise this is still a Remus/Sirius fic and there is still a happy ending in store for the puppies. However, I never promised to make it easy for them, and realise that some readers may jump ship after reading this chapter. If you do, then thank you anyway for reading this far.