A Heart So Ravenous (Sequel to A Love So Belated)
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
36,878
Reviews:
326
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
36,878
Reviews:
326
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 35: Long Term
Chapter Number/Total: 35/44
Chapter Title: Long Term
Words:2337 Words
Harry appreciated that all the Weasleys had come to see the twins, but having to tell all of them what was wrong with Draco was hard. It was harder than he would've thought it would be, having to repeat it, so he was glad when he didn't have to anymore. He was glad to be alone with his children again, glad to be able to take the curtains away and see Draco. The return of peace and quiet after that hour and a half was much needed, and Narcissa didn't talk much. He laid the babies in the cot set up next to his chair and settled back, feeling very tired all of a sudden.
Just as he got settled, there was a knock at the door.
He frowned, sitting up again, but Narcissa stood.
"I'll get it, Harry," she said. "You've been awake all day." She walked across the room and opened the door.
A middle-aged witch with a clipboard stood there. "Is Mr Potter here?" she asked.
Harry sighed, hearing the woman. "I'm here," he called, moving to sit up straighter after all.
Narcissa sighed too, stepping back to let the witch in.
She glanced at Narcissa but brushed past her. She held her quill poised in one hand and squinted at Harry. "Are you the father of two boys born earlier today?"
Harry raised an eyebrow a little. "One of them," he said wearily.
She frowned. "I'm Mrs Grundy and I am in charge of birth records here at St Mungo's. I need to record information for their certificates of birth."
Harry nodded. He had been wondering when this was going to happen. "Okay," he said.
Narcissa came back from the door and sat down in her chair again.
"So, the name of the first child?" she asked, quill ready.
"Corvus Desiderio Potter-Malfoy," Harry answered, wondering how long this would take.
"Time of birth?"
Harry frowned. "I'm not sure of the exact time," he said. "Around three, I think. Maybe before then."
"Time of birth is important, Mr Potter. Surely someone who was present knows the time." She looked at Narcissa, as if she might know.
Narcissa shook her head. "I don't know, either," she said. "But his house-elf might."
"Yes," said Harry, remembering. "Kreacher would know."
"Well, I won't be able file these without complete information," Grundy huffed, "but we'll come back to that." She frowned. "We have weight and length at admittance from the medical records. The dark-haired boy is listed at 4 lbs 12 oz and the blond at 4 lbs 9 oz. Which is Corvus?"
"The black hair," Harry said, looking down at him in the cot.
"Full name of the father?" she asked.
Harry frowned again. Which father did she mean? He shrugged a little. "Harry James Potter," he said.
"And your address of residence?"
Harry pulled a face. He knew he didn't really need the Fidelius Charm anymore, but he still felt a slight twinge every time he told someone. "Twelve Grimmauld Place, London," he said.
She wrote it down without hesitation. "Mother's full name and date of birth?"
Harry sighed again. "They don't have a mother," he said. "They have two fathers."
"I don't care about your ... domestic arrangements, Mr Potter. I must record the name of the woman who gave birth to your sons," she snapped.
Harry narrowed his eyes. "There isn't one," he said. "Draco Malfoy gave birth to my sons."
She scowled at him. "Mr Potter," she said in a clipped voice, "this is important. I cannot file a record of your sons' births without the proper information."
"That's what I'm trying to give you," Harry snapped back. "That man, right there, gave birth to these boys, and risked his life doing it. He's their father, and so am I."
"Men do not birth children and even if they did, there is no place for it on the form!" Her voice was bordering on shrill now.
"How can you not have heard this?" Harry asked, eyes flashing.
Narcissa was looking angry now, too. "My son did so birth these children," she said, her voice calm but acidic. "It is why he is lying in that bed. To say that he did not is highly insulting to not only him, but to myself, and I'm sure to Harry as well."
The woman actually looked slightly panicked. "I cannot put a man's name in the place for the mother's name," she insisted.
"Then cross off 'mother' and write down 'birth-father'," Narcissa said, arching an eyebrow in her superior manner.
"That's just not how it is done," Mrs Grundy huffed.
"This entire birth is not how it is done," said Narcissa. "I suppose you'll have to improvise, won't you?"
"I am going to have to check with my supervisor," the woman snapped. She turned and walked toward the door.
"You do that," said Narcissa with an unpleasant smile.
Harry sighed, rubbing his face as he slumped in his chair. "Thank you," he said quietly.
Narcissa patted his arm briefly, then smiled sideways at him. "Desiderio?" she asked.
Harry looked down into the cot, touching Corvus' head. "Their middle names are ours," he said.
"Corvus Desiderio and Caelum James?"
Harry nodded.
Narcissa continued to smile softly. "They are fitting," she said, looking down into the cot as well. Then she sighed almost wistfully and patted Harry's arm again.
***
The first day passed, and Harry started pacing. He left the room only to get cleaned up or to use the loo. Narcissa had to leave because he wouldn't. She got them food, which Harry only picked at, and retrieved clean clothes for both of them. They waited for Draco to awaken, but he didn't.
The second day came. Harry walked all around Draco's room, rubbing his face, scratching his skin, and running his hands through his hair until it was even more of a mess. He couldn't sit still, not even when holding the babies. Corvus didn't like it very much, so Narcissa took over feeding him. They waited for Draco to awaken, but he didn't.
But he will, Harry thought. He will.
Harry began pacing immediately when he awoke on the third day, for he had got up to see if Draco had come out of it, but he hadn't.
Narcissa watched him, gently rocking the cot holding the twins. While Harry grew more and more restless, she seemed more and more calm.
The door opened and Healer Roderick came inside, glancing around before turning to them. "Mr Potter," he acknowledged and then held a hand out to Narcissa, introducing himself.
She nodded, shaking his hand lightly.
Harry's heart began speeding up at the sight of Roderick. The Healer hadn't been in since that first day here, and he hadn't delivered anything good then.
Roderick looked at the babies swaying in the cot. "Your sons look fine," he said.
Harry took a deep breath and nodded. "They seem fine," he said, trying to remain still where he was standing, but he pulled on the hem of his shirt with nervous fingers.
Roderick nodded. "You should take them home," he said softly.
Harry blinked a few times. "I will," he said. "When Draco wakes up."
Roderick gestured to the chairs, taking a seat himself and looking between Narcissa and Harry. "We have to move him," he said.
Harry sat, but shifted himself around quite a bit. "Move him?" he repeated. "Why?"
"This room is for crisis patients. It is meant for short-term critical patients."
Harry's hands clenched for a moment. "Where are you moving him?" he asked.
"We have a long-term care ward. But it isn't a private room," Roderick explained.
"Long-term," Harry whispered. "The Janus Thickey ward?"
"That's the name, yes," Roderick responded, glancing at Narcissa too.
Narcissa was staring at the floor, her head held higher than usual.
The Janus Thickey ward. Roderick wanted to send Draco there. Where Neville's parents were. They had been there for nearly twenty years. Harry began to shake.
"I know this is hard to accept, but he will receive good care. The staff there is trained for situations like his," the Healer explained.
Harry took quick breaths, the reality of Draco's situation seeming to hit him all at once. Roderick wanted to send Draco to where Neville's parents were. He wanted to send him where they sent people who didn't get better. He covered his face, still shaking, now even more so.
"Harry," said Narcissa, obviously trying to calm him, but her voice trembled and he wasn't fooled. She was scared, too.
"It's time, Mr Potter," Roderick said kindly. "Take your children home. They shouldn't be here."
Harry swallowed several times, his eyes filling with angry tears, and he tried to speak through the lump in his throat. "I c-can't leave him," he managed. "I c-can't."
"You can visit him," Roderick said. "But there isn't really a provision for family to stay with their patients in the ward."
Harry looked up at the man, nearly panicked. "I'll s-sleep on the floor if I h-have to, but I can't l-leave him."
Narcissa did something then that she had not done before, and got to her feet, then bent to wrap her arms around Harry and hush him.
He let her, finding it was actually very comforting. The last thing he had expected from Narcissa Malfoy was a hug like one from Mrs Weasley.
Roderick looked down. "Well, I have rounds to do. They will be taking him up to the ward soon."
"Go," Narcissa said quietly, nodding. She still tried to hush Harry, who was still breathing too quickly.
Roderick nodded and left.
Harry tried to calm himself down, tried to let the feeling of Narcissa's arms around him ease his breathing. She held him until he wasn't shaking, and then leant back to put her hands gently on his shoulders, nodding. "All right now?" she said in a hushed voice.
No. No, he wasn't all right, but he nodded, like her.
She released his shoulders and reached for her chair, pulling it around in front of Harry's so that she could face him as she sat.
He stared at her without really seeing her, and she watched him worriedly.
"Harry," she said after a few long moments, and something in her tone made Harry want to get up and leave. He knew what she was about to say.
"Harry," she said again, more quietly. "I know you love him. If anything, this has proved it to me beyond a doubt. I know you do."
Harry merely continued to stare at her, still breathing rather deeply, and there were another long few moments of silence.
"But you have those babies."
Harry closed his eyes. "I can't," he said, feeling the panic rising again. "I can't leave."
"Harry," she said in that hushing voice again. "Listen to me." She reached forward and took his trembling hands.
Harry shook his head, his legs even trembling.
"I know what you're feeling," she said.
No she doesn't. She doesn't know. She can't.
"I do know," she said. "I know you feel like you're betraying him if you leave. I know you feel like you have to be here for him to wake up. But he wants you to take care of your children. It is why he is here. He did not go through all of that – all of this – for Corvus and Caelum to spend Merlin knows how long in this hospital."
"But he won't be here long," Harry insisted in his shaky voice. "He won't. I know he won't be."
"Harry," she said for the fourth time, and closed her eyes. "You don't know," she whispered. "There is no way to know how long he will be here. I'd like to think he is going to wake up tomorrow, but we cannot know that."
"I do know," Harry said firmly, probably seeming insane. "I know he won't take long."
Narcissa let out a quiet sigh, looking tired and upset when she opened her eyes again. "Then look at the what-if," she said. "If Draco wakes up tomorrow, you can come up from home and he will be happy that you took the children to care for them properly. But what if he wakes up in a week? In a month? A few months? What is Draco going to think if he finds you here with them? In this hospital filled to bursting with sick people? I know my son. He will not be happy with you."
Harry closed his eyes now, because he knew she was right and he didn't want to admit it. The proof of her words was in his pocket, in Draco's letter.
"Yes," she said. "I know you know it, too."
Harry clenched his teeth.
"You're a father now, Harry," she said gently, squeezing his hands. "They come first. Take them home. Get some rest. Get them out of here. Draco spent all that time on that old house so they could have a home. This isn't it."
There was another stretch of silence, this one longer than the rest, and Harry finally opened his eyes again. "I know," he whispered, feeling something inside him shatter.
Narcissa squeezed his hands again. "You can come up here every day," she said. "You can bring the children. And I'll be here every day as well. Take them home, get them settled in, and they can be ready for their father when he is awake."
Harry's eyes teared up, his face flushed, and suddenly he was letting out a sob that he hadn't even known he had in him. "I need him," he choked out, looking at Narcissa. "I need him."
She hugged him again. "I know," she said. "Hush. I know. And he needs you to do what he can't right now."
Harry sobbed against her, feeling the tears coming like they weren't going to stop. He hadn't cried this way yet, but it was coming now with no signs of stopping, and Narcissa rubbed his back.
"I'll go home," he said finally, voice thick when he had stopped crying. "Because I know I have to, and I know he would want me to."
Narcissa still didn't let him go, and he didn't pull away. "Yes," she said, and rubbed his back again.
Chapter Title: Long Term
Words:2337 Words
Harry appreciated that all the Weasleys had come to see the twins, but having to tell all of them what was wrong with Draco was hard. It was harder than he would've thought it would be, having to repeat it, so he was glad when he didn't have to anymore. He was glad to be alone with his children again, glad to be able to take the curtains away and see Draco. The return of peace and quiet after that hour and a half was much needed, and Narcissa didn't talk much. He laid the babies in the cot set up next to his chair and settled back, feeling very tired all of a sudden.
Just as he got settled, there was a knock at the door.
He frowned, sitting up again, but Narcissa stood.
"I'll get it, Harry," she said. "You've been awake all day." She walked across the room and opened the door.
A middle-aged witch with a clipboard stood there. "Is Mr Potter here?" she asked.
Harry sighed, hearing the woman. "I'm here," he called, moving to sit up straighter after all.
Narcissa sighed too, stepping back to let the witch in.
She glanced at Narcissa but brushed past her. She held her quill poised in one hand and squinted at Harry. "Are you the father of two boys born earlier today?"
Harry raised an eyebrow a little. "One of them," he said wearily.
She frowned. "I'm Mrs Grundy and I am in charge of birth records here at St Mungo's. I need to record information for their certificates of birth."
Harry nodded. He had been wondering when this was going to happen. "Okay," he said.
Narcissa came back from the door and sat down in her chair again.
"So, the name of the first child?" she asked, quill ready.
"Corvus Desiderio Potter-Malfoy," Harry answered, wondering how long this would take.
"Time of birth?"
Harry frowned. "I'm not sure of the exact time," he said. "Around three, I think. Maybe before then."
"Time of birth is important, Mr Potter. Surely someone who was present knows the time." She looked at Narcissa, as if she might know.
Narcissa shook her head. "I don't know, either," she said. "But his house-elf might."
"Yes," said Harry, remembering. "Kreacher would know."
"Well, I won't be able file these without complete information," Grundy huffed, "but we'll come back to that." She frowned. "We have weight and length at admittance from the medical records. The dark-haired boy is listed at 4 lbs 12 oz and the blond at 4 lbs 9 oz. Which is Corvus?"
"The black hair," Harry said, looking down at him in the cot.
"Full name of the father?" she asked.
Harry frowned again. Which father did she mean? He shrugged a little. "Harry James Potter," he said.
"And your address of residence?"
Harry pulled a face. He knew he didn't really need the Fidelius Charm anymore, but he still felt a slight twinge every time he told someone. "Twelve Grimmauld Place, London," he said.
She wrote it down without hesitation. "Mother's full name and date of birth?"
Harry sighed again. "They don't have a mother," he said. "They have two fathers."
"I don't care about your ... domestic arrangements, Mr Potter. I must record the name of the woman who gave birth to your sons," she snapped.
Harry narrowed his eyes. "There isn't one," he said. "Draco Malfoy gave birth to my sons."
She scowled at him. "Mr Potter," she said in a clipped voice, "this is important. I cannot file a record of your sons' births without the proper information."
"That's what I'm trying to give you," Harry snapped back. "That man, right there, gave birth to these boys, and risked his life doing it. He's their father, and so am I."
"Men do not birth children and even if they did, there is no place for it on the form!" Her voice was bordering on shrill now.
"How can you not have heard this?" Harry asked, eyes flashing.
Narcissa was looking angry now, too. "My son did so birth these children," she said, her voice calm but acidic. "It is why he is lying in that bed. To say that he did not is highly insulting to not only him, but to myself, and I'm sure to Harry as well."
The woman actually looked slightly panicked. "I cannot put a man's name in the place for the mother's name," she insisted.
"Then cross off 'mother' and write down 'birth-father'," Narcissa said, arching an eyebrow in her superior manner.
"That's just not how it is done," Mrs Grundy huffed.
"This entire birth is not how it is done," said Narcissa. "I suppose you'll have to improvise, won't you?"
"I am going to have to check with my supervisor," the woman snapped. She turned and walked toward the door.
"You do that," said Narcissa with an unpleasant smile.
Harry sighed, rubbing his face as he slumped in his chair. "Thank you," he said quietly.
Narcissa patted his arm briefly, then smiled sideways at him. "Desiderio?" she asked.
Harry looked down into the cot, touching Corvus' head. "Their middle names are ours," he said.
"Corvus Desiderio and Caelum James?"
Harry nodded.
Narcissa continued to smile softly. "They are fitting," she said, looking down into the cot as well. Then she sighed almost wistfully and patted Harry's arm again.
***
The first day passed, and Harry started pacing. He left the room only to get cleaned up or to use the loo. Narcissa had to leave because he wouldn't. She got them food, which Harry only picked at, and retrieved clean clothes for both of them. They waited for Draco to awaken, but he didn't.
The second day came. Harry walked all around Draco's room, rubbing his face, scratching his skin, and running his hands through his hair until it was even more of a mess. He couldn't sit still, not even when holding the babies. Corvus didn't like it very much, so Narcissa took over feeding him. They waited for Draco to awaken, but he didn't.
But he will, Harry thought. He will.
Harry began pacing immediately when he awoke on the third day, for he had got up to see if Draco had come out of it, but he hadn't.
Narcissa watched him, gently rocking the cot holding the twins. While Harry grew more and more restless, she seemed more and more calm.
The door opened and Healer Roderick came inside, glancing around before turning to them. "Mr Potter," he acknowledged and then held a hand out to Narcissa, introducing himself.
She nodded, shaking his hand lightly.
Harry's heart began speeding up at the sight of Roderick. The Healer hadn't been in since that first day here, and he hadn't delivered anything good then.
Roderick looked at the babies swaying in the cot. "Your sons look fine," he said.
Harry took a deep breath and nodded. "They seem fine," he said, trying to remain still where he was standing, but he pulled on the hem of his shirt with nervous fingers.
Roderick nodded. "You should take them home," he said softly.
Harry blinked a few times. "I will," he said. "When Draco wakes up."
Roderick gestured to the chairs, taking a seat himself and looking between Narcissa and Harry. "We have to move him," he said.
Harry sat, but shifted himself around quite a bit. "Move him?" he repeated. "Why?"
"This room is for crisis patients. It is meant for short-term critical patients."
Harry's hands clenched for a moment. "Where are you moving him?" he asked.
"We have a long-term care ward. But it isn't a private room," Roderick explained.
"Long-term," Harry whispered. "The Janus Thickey ward?"
"That's the name, yes," Roderick responded, glancing at Narcissa too.
Narcissa was staring at the floor, her head held higher than usual.
The Janus Thickey ward. Roderick wanted to send Draco there. Where Neville's parents were. They had been there for nearly twenty years. Harry began to shake.
"I know this is hard to accept, but he will receive good care. The staff there is trained for situations like his," the Healer explained.
Harry took quick breaths, the reality of Draco's situation seeming to hit him all at once. Roderick wanted to send Draco to where Neville's parents were. He wanted to send him where they sent people who didn't get better. He covered his face, still shaking, now even more so.
"Harry," said Narcissa, obviously trying to calm him, but her voice trembled and he wasn't fooled. She was scared, too.
"It's time, Mr Potter," Roderick said kindly. "Take your children home. They shouldn't be here."
Harry swallowed several times, his eyes filling with angry tears, and he tried to speak through the lump in his throat. "I c-can't leave him," he managed. "I c-can't."
"You can visit him," Roderick said. "But there isn't really a provision for family to stay with their patients in the ward."
Harry looked up at the man, nearly panicked. "I'll s-sleep on the floor if I h-have to, but I can't l-leave him."
Narcissa did something then that she had not done before, and got to her feet, then bent to wrap her arms around Harry and hush him.
He let her, finding it was actually very comforting. The last thing he had expected from Narcissa Malfoy was a hug like one from Mrs Weasley.
Roderick looked down. "Well, I have rounds to do. They will be taking him up to the ward soon."
"Go," Narcissa said quietly, nodding. She still tried to hush Harry, who was still breathing too quickly.
Roderick nodded and left.
Harry tried to calm himself down, tried to let the feeling of Narcissa's arms around him ease his breathing. She held him until he wasn't shaking, and then leant back to put her hands gently on his shoulders, nodding. "All right now?" she said in a hushed voice.
No. No, he wasn't all right, but he nodded, like her.
She released his shoulders and reached for her chair, pulling it around in front of Harry's so that she could face him as she sat.
He stared at her without really seeing her, and she watched him worriedly.
"Harry," she said after a few long moments, and something in her tone made Harry want to get up and leave. He knew what she was about to say.
"Harry," she said again, more quietly. "I know you love him. If anything, this has proved it to me beyond a doubt. I know you do."
Harry merely continued to stare at her, still breathing rather deeply, and there were another long few moments of silence.
"But you have those babies."
Harry closed his eyes. "I can't," he said, feeling the panic rising again. "I can't leave."
"Harry," she said in that hushing voice again. "Listen to me." She reached forward and took his trembling hands.
Harry shook his head, his legs even trembling.
"I know what you're feeling," she said.
No she doesn't. She doesn't know. She can't.
"I do know," she said. "I know you feel like you're betraying him if you leave. I know you feel like you have to be here for him to wake up. But he wants you to take care of your children. It is why he is here. He did not go through all of that – all of this – for Corvus and Caelum to spend Merlin knows how long in this hospital."
"But he won't be here long," Harry insisted in his shaky voice. "He won't. I know he won't be."
"Harry," she said for the fourth time, and closed her eyes. "You don't know," she whispered. "There is no way to know how long he will be here. I'd like to think he is going to wake up tomorrow, but we cannot know that."
"I do know," Harry said firmly, probably seeming insane. "I know he won't take long."
Narcissa let out a quiet sigh, looking tired and upset when she opened her eyes again. "Then look at the what-if," she said. "If Draco wakes up tomorrow, you can come up from home and he will be happy that you took the children to care for them properly. But what if he wakes up in a week? In a month? A few months? What is Draco going to think if he finds you here with them? In this hospital filled to bursting with sick people? I know my son. He will not be happy with you."
Harry closed his eyes now, because he knew she was right and he didn't want to admit it. The proof of her words was in his pocket, in Draco's letter.
"Yes," she said. "I know you know it, too."
Harry clenched his teeth.
"You're a father now, Harry," she said gently, squeezing his hands. "They come first. Take them home. Get some rest. Get them out of here. Draco spent all that time on that old house so they could have a home. This isn't it."
There was another stretch of silence, this one longer than the rest, and Harry finally opened his eyes again. "I know," he whispered, feeling something inside him shatter.
Narcissa squeezed his hands again. "You can come up here every day," she said. "You can bring the children. And I'll be here every day as well. Take them home, get them settled in, and they can be ready for their father when he is awake."
Harry's eyes teared up, his face flushed, and suddenly he was letting out a sob that he hadn't even known he had in him. "I need him," he choked out, looking at Narcissa. "I need him."
She hugged him again. "I know," she said. "Hush. I know. And he needs you to do what he can't right now."
Harry sobbed against her, feeling the tears coming like they weren't going to stop. He hadn't cried this way yet, but it was coming now with no signs of stopping, and Narcissa rubbed his back.
"I'll go home," he said finally, voice thick when he had stopped crying. "Because I know I have to, and I know he would want me to."
Narcissa still didn't let him go, and he didn't pull away. "Yes," she said, and rubbed his back again.