Areas of Expertise
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
42,600
Reviews:
137
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
42,600
Reviews:
137
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Reflections
--I told my bro I'd dedicated a chapter to him for his help and he was not impressed. His response was: "I thought I was helping you get work of the computer, not your dodgy porn!" Oh well. Hopefully you, dear reader, will be happier with this chapter (and all the others!) SP
Chapter Thirty-Five
“I thought I alone suffered, but suffering is everywhere.” Farid
***
A few days had slid past, and before anyone realised it, summer made an early appearance.
Severus Snape was walking in the grounds, ignoring the happy shrieks coming from contented pupils. Other than a slight tightening of the jaw, he made no sign that he’d even seen the idiotic children splashing themselves in the lake, whilst the giant squid waved its tentacles gently in the air. He had been considering the big problem. Harry had pestered him every single time he had visited, and now he was loath to return to his partner’s side, which made him feel guilty; and he had had to face discussion after discussion with Dumbledore (and some of the ‘discussions’ could be better classed as ‘arguments’), which made him feel angry; and now he was trying to discern what it was he truly felt, which made him feel confused.
Not a good mix. He sighed to himself as he came to a halt under a large oak tree – the same tree in fact he had once been hoisted into the air by, the same tree that had shaded him as he had called Lily Evans ‘Mudblood’. And now, here he was, nearly two decades later, contemplating marrying her son.
Sometimes life made no sense.
He made a conscious effort not to grit his teeth. He had to discover what he truly felt. If he did indeed love the brat, then, whatever the objections, he would find a way to protect the boy and their daughter. He was just not convinced that Bonding was the way to go. It was too risky, too problematic, too dependant upon other factors to be seriously considered. Sadly for Severus, both Albus and Harry were considering it, which left him, as usual, as the lone voice of reason in the wilderness of madness.
Unable to come to any conclusion, Severus pushed the matter to the side of his mind and focused upon the secondary problem – which was actually more of an issue. Harry was due to give birth in just over six weeks, and, at that time, no doubt the Dark Lord would attack – especially as he seemed to have a thing for grand gestures at the end of the summer term – and Harry would have a new born, and Severus would have to somehow balance the tightrope of saving his child (and Harry) without betraying himself to the Dark Lord, or letting Albus down (meaning Draco getting caught in the cross-fire), or dying himself.
So, no difficulties there, then. he grumbled internally. He could feel the urge to whinge It’s not FAIR but suppressed it sternly. Life wasn’t. He would just have to deal with the huge difficulties he faced (no doubt the old loon would refer to them as ‘challenges’) and stop Harry getting too invested in the Bonding idea.
And for my next trick……. He thought sourly.
***
Harry lay still on the floor, the noise subdued as though he were under water. At his side were his two ‘guards’, and they were laughing – but the side was muted. He knew he should be afraid, he knew he should be terrified, but he felt only the surety of Snape’s rescue.
Why am I just lying here? He thought and tried to move. Invisible bonds tightened around his wrists.
A buzzing filled his ears. He saw the one guard move his head, he must have been speaking, especially as the second was nodding, his mask slipping a little in his excitement. Did Harry recognise the brow? He was sure he did. He just needed a few seconds to place the figure.
A tingle wrapped around his middle.
He glanced down. One of them had conjured a thick snake and it was wrapping him in its coils and squeezing.
He felt some emotion coming from Sapphire. He tried to reach her mind, tried to calm her, but the fog in his brain stopped him. He couldn’t even identify her feeling.
Moving was difficult to do. Breathing was difficult to do. His heart hurt from beating so violently, trying to help him live. He was detached from it all. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Severus would save him.
***
Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, his dead arm hanging limply at his side. With his good hand he took his glasses off and rubbed his eye balls gingerly. For once he felt his age. Every year he had lived weighed heavily upon him at that moment. The decisions he had been forced into making, the battles he had fought, all of them weighed him down.
Around him, the portraits stirred uneasily, as did Fawkes. He called softly to his master.
“It’s all right, Fawkes,” Albus said, summoning up a small reassuring smile. “I am merely indulging in a moment of self pity. It will soon pass.”
His smile vanished as he considered his – short – future. With his death, all the protection he had strived so hard for for the boy would be for nought. If he could guarantee that the two men Bonded he would feel more sanguine. As it was, Harry was too vulnerable, and would be more so with a child in tow.
Perhaps I let my sentimentality affect my judgement he thought, reviewing his actions that school year in his mind. He had done what he felt was best – both for the Order, for Harry, and for Severus.
He sighed heavily. He had the horrible feeling that he had made a huge mistake, yet his intentions had always been pure. He frowned. The Muggle Studies teacher had lost her temper with him and had shouted some phrase in his direction. Later they had resolved their conflict and she had told him what she had said. Dumbledore thought of it now:
“The trouble with you, Albus, is you were brought up a wizard. Had you been Muggle born you might have heard the phrase; ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’”
The headteacher let his head fall onto the desk, blinking rapidly. He would not give way to tears now. He would not indulge his self pity that far.
-- This didn't post properly when I submitted it, so sorry if it's not quite formatted right - I've had to do it all manually! SP
Chapter Thirty-Five
“I thought I alone suffered, but suffering is everywhere.” Farid
***
A few days had slid past, and before anyone realised it, summer made an early appearance.
Severus Snape was walking in the grounds, ignoring the happy shrieks coming from contented pupils. Other than a slight tightening of the jaw, he made no sign that he’d even seen the idiotic children splashing themselves in the lake, whilst the giant squid waved its tentacles gently in the air. He had been considering the big problem. Harry had pestered him every single time he had visited, and now he was loath to return to his partner’s side, which made him feel guilty; and he had had to face discussion after discussion with Dumbledore (and some of the ‘discussions’ could be better classed as ‘arguments’), which made him feel angry; and now he was trying to discern what it was he truly felt, which made him feel confused.
Not a good mix. He sighed to himself as he came to a halt under a large oak tree – the same tree in fact he had once been hoisted into the air by, the same tree that had shaded him as he had called Lily Evans ‘Mudblood’. And now, here he was, nearly two decades later, contemplating marrying her son.
Sometimes life made no sense.
He made a conscious effort not to grit his teeth. He had to discover what he truly felt. If he did indeed love the brat, then, whatever the objections, he would find a way to protect the boy and their daughter. He was just not convinced that Bonding was the way to go. It was too risky, too problematic, too dependant upon other factors to be seriously considered. Sadly for Severus, both Albus and Harry were considering it, which left him, as usual, as the lone voice of reason in the wilderness of madness.
Unable to come to any conclusion, Severus pushed the matter to the side of his mind and focused upon the secondary problem – which was actually more of an issue. Harry was due to give birth in just over six weeks, and, at that time, no doubt the Dark Lord would attack – especially as he seemed to have a thing for grand gestures at the end of the summer term – and Harry would have a new born, and Severus would have to somehow balance the tightrope of saving his child (and Harry) without betraying himself to the Dark Lord, or letting Albus down (meaning Draco getting caught in the cross-fire), or dying himself.
So, no difficulties there, then. he grumbled internally. He could feel the urge to whinge It’s not FAIR but suppressed it sternly. Life wasn’t. He would just have to deal with the huge difficulties he faced (no doubt the old loon would refer to them as ‘challenges’) and stop Harry getting too invested in the Bonding idea.
And for my next trick……. He thought sourly.
***
Harry lay still on the floor, the noise subdued as though he were under water. At his side were his two ‘guards’, and they were laughing – but the side was muted. He knew he should be afraid, he knew he should be terrified, but he felt only the surety of Snape’s rescue.
Why am I just lying here? He thought and tried to move. Invisible bonds tightened around his wrists.
A buzzing filled his ears. He saw the one guard move his head, he must have been speaking, especially as the second was nodding, his mask slipping a little in his excitement. Did Harry recognise the brow? He was sure he did. He just needed a few seconds to place the figure.
A tingle wrapped around his middle.
He glanced down. One of them had conjured a thick snake and it was wrapping him in its coils and squeezing.
He felt some emotion coming from Sapphire. He tried to reach her mind, tried to calm her, but the fog in his brain stopped him. He couldn’t even identify her feeling.
Moving was difficult to do. Breathing was difficult to do. His heart hurt from beating so violently, trying to help him live. He was detached from it all. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Severus would save him.
***
Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, his dead arm hanging limply at his side. With his good hand he took his glasses off and rubbed his eye balls gingerly. For once he felt his age. Every year he had lived weighed heavily upon him at that moment. The decisions he had been forced into making, the battles he had fought, all of them weighed him down.
Around him, the portraits stirred uneasily, as did Fawkes. He called softly to his master.
“It’s all right, Fawkes,” Albus said, summoning up a small reassuring smile. “I am merely indulging in a moment of self pity. It will soon pass.”
His smile vanished as he considered his – short – future. With his death, all the protection he had strived so hard for for the boy would be for nought. If he could guarantee that the two men Bonded he would feel more sanguine. As it was, Harry was too vulnerable, and would be more so with a child in tow.
Perhaps I let my sentimentality affect my judgement he thought, reviewing his actions that school year in his mind. He had done what he felt was best – both for the Order, for Harry, and for Severus.
He sighed heavily. He had the horrible feeling that he had made a huge mistake, yet his intentions had always been pure. He frowned. The Muggle Studies teacher had lost her temper with him and had shouted some phrase in his direction. Later they had resolved their conflict and she had told him what she had said. Dumbledore thought of it now:
“The trouble with you, Albus, is you were brought up a wizard. Had you been Muggle born you might have heard the phrase; ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’”
The headteacher let his head fall onto the desk, blinking rapidly. He would not give way to tears now. He would not indulge his self pity that far.
-- This didn't post properly when I submitted it, so sorry if it's not quite formatted right - I've had to do it all manually! SP