Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

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A Taste of Heaven
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January slipped away, and with it, numerous chances for Sirius to tell Remus about his feelings for him. He knew he was stalling, but couldn’t seem to help himself. He wished he could find the inner courage to simply take the plunge. Remus had been so understanding about the first part of his confession; he really had no excuse whatsoever for keeping quiet.

He was thankful that Remus wasn’t pestering him about the identity of his crush, because he was sure he would have caved and told him long before now. Instead, he could tell that Remus was quietly trying to see who it was that Sirius had his eye on. Unfortunately for Remus, he seemed to have put himself out of the running right from the start, and was therefore somewhat oblivious to the way that Sirius’s eyes were always drawn to him.

The path to Hogsmeade was slippery with ice on the chilly February morning. Sirius would rather have stayed in front of the common room fire, but Remus had been determined to drag him down the village for the morning.

“Where do you need to go?” Sirius asked as he looked into the window of Honeydukes. The shop was already filled with students from Hogwarts, and Sirius could tell that he and Remus wouldn’t be able to get through the door for a while yet.

“I need some new quills, and I said I’d pick up some dung bombs for James.”

“Why can’t he buy them himself?”

“He’s in detention this morning.”

“What for?”

“Setting off the last of his dung bombs in Greenhouse Four.”

Sirius laughed. “Well, I’ve got to post my mother’s birthday present, so why don’t you get your quills and I’ll meet you in Zonko’s?”

“Isn’t Damon back yet?” Remus asked as he gestured to the present.

“It’s a long way to Australia,” Sirius pointed out. “I wish there was another way to contact Regulus, but owls are the only way. I’ll just use one of the Post Office owls for Mother’s present.”

“You could have used Athena if she hadn’t hurt her wing on the way back from Cheshire last week.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll get there just the same with a post owl.”

Remus nodded and hurried off down the road with a wave. Sirius waved back and walked across the road to the Post Office.

The moment he stepped through the door, he was assaulted by the sight of red and pink hearts fluttering around the room. He tried to ignore them as he approached the bored looking witch sitting at the counter.

“Something for your sweetheart?” she asked with an overly bright smile that seemed to be extremely forced.

“I need to send this to London.” Sirius placed the parcel on the counter.

“For your girlfriend?” the girl asked. “Can I interest you in getting it wrapped with our Valentine’s paper, or how about using one of our special Valentine’s owls for the delivery – they’ve been charmed pink.”

“My mother,” Sirius replied with a heavy sigh of annoyance. “A normal owl will be fine.”

“Oh.” The girl scowled when she realised he wasn’t going to be paying for the extras, but she took the parcel and placed it on the scales. “For next day delivery it’ll be four sickles.”

Sirius dug into his pocket and placed four silver coins on the counter. A flying pink heart chose that moment to fly close to his face, and he batted it away impatiently.

“Can I interest you in a Valentine’s card for anyone special?” the girl asked.

“I don’t have anyone to send one to,” Sirius replied, a flush creeping up over his face.

“Really?” the girl asked with a great deal of surprise, and a much brighter smile than any that she had displayed so far that morning. If Sirius didn’t miss his guess, he would say that she was actually trying to flirt with him. “Can’t you think of anyone?”

“Why are you so eager to sell me a card?” Sirius asked suspiciously. The girl was young and couldn’t have been out of Hogwart’s a year, if she had been fortunate enough to attend that school. She was pretty enough, with black hair, streaked with red; her eyes were a dark green and framed with long jet lashes. That she was plainly interested in him should have been flattering, but Sirius merely felt uncomfortable as she batted her eyelashes at him and smiled enticingly.

“I…er…”

“What?”

“I messed up the order with the supplier,” the girl confessed in a hushed tone. She shot a look at the door behind her, clearly anxious that her boss might overhear her. “I ordered twice as many as I should have done, and if I can’t sell the extras then it comes out of my wages.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“You’re sure you can’t think of anyone to buy one for? There must be lots of girls who would be happy to get a card from someone like you. Can’t you just take a look at them? Some of them are for friends instead of girlfriends. You could send one of those instead. Please?”

“I’ll take a look at them,” Sirius muttered.

The girl shot him a grateful smile and he wandered over to the nearby shelf of cards.

“You could even send one to me, if you like,” the witch called. “Agatha Bagshaw,” she added as an afterthought.

Sirius ignored her as he looked at the cards, most of which appeared to be overly flowery, in varying shades of pink and sickeningly girlish. He scowled at the shelf as he thumbed his way through the cards, wondering how long he could pretend to look at them before he could make his escape.

Why weren’t all the other students looking for cards in here? It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before Valentine’s Day, they should be here, buying cards and distracting the girl at the counter so that he could slip out the door.

Unfortunately the room was empty, save for himself and Agatha.

He carried on flicking through the cards, wondering whether he should send one to Remus. He wanted to tell Remus how he felt about him face to face, but in light of the fact that he couldn’t seem to find the courage, perhaps this way would be better? Not that he relished the thought of it arriving in the Great Hall with everyone watching, especially if Remus were to turn him down.

“We’re offering a special deal for Hogwarts students,” Agatha called across to him. “For an extra two knuts we’ll deliver on the morning for you. And for three knuts extra we include an automatic quill service so you’re handwriting isn’t recognised.”

Sirius nodded with feigned interest. If he was going to send a card to Remus he would certainly sign it; why else would he bother?

He turned away from the overly eager assistant and moved towards another shelf. This one had cards with various cute animals on them. Most of the animals were sleeping, although a few were moving about. Several cats were meowing, and one of the dogs was chasing its tail. Sirius picked up the card with the dog on it and smiled. It wasn’t the cutest animal he’d ever seen, but it was certainly amusing. The dog was large and black, and Sirius suspected that if it had been pictured in any other setting it would have looked downright vicious. In fact, it bore a passing resemblance to the dog painted on the wall of the Lupins’ basement.

“You like that one?” Agatha asked eagerly. “I love dogs. Do you know if the girl you have in mind is a dog person?”

Sirius flushed. Remus was definitely a dog person; there was no question about it. But if he was going to send the card, he certainly didn’t want to do it with Agatha hovering at his shoulder.

A bell rang out from the doorway, causing the girl to scurry back to the counter.

Sirius had almost made up his mind to buy the card, whilst Agatha was otherwise occupied, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Thought you’d got lost,” Remus said as he came up behind him. “What have you got there?”

“Just a card,” Sirius muttered as he put it back.

“Aren’t you going to buy it?”

“No, I…I was just looking.”

“You should send a card to your mystery man,” Remus whispered.

Sirius shook his head and moved away from the shelf. “Come on, I’ll bet Honeydukes has emptied out a bit now.”

“No, wait a minute,” Remus argued. “I’ve got an idea!”

Sirius was speechless as Remus grabbed hold of his hand and tugged him back towards the cards.

“You want to send a card?” Sirius asked, trying to quell the disappointment he was feeling at the idea of Remus wanting to send a card to someone… that is someone besides him.

“It’ll be so funny,” Remus said as he flicked through some particularly sappy cards.

“What will?”

“We’re going to send a card to James and mark it from Lily.”

“But, she hates him. And he’s still fuming about her reporting him to McGonagall last week, after that stunt with the bludgers in the common room.”

“Exactly!” Remus grinned at him. “And we’ll send one to her from him, too. Imagine the looks on their faces when they open then. We could just put their initials and see if they figure out who has sent them?”

Remus thumbed through the cards on the rack, finally picking up two of the most revolting ones he could find. “What do you think?” he asked.

Sirius snickered as he looked at the cards. They first card was covered in hideous looking pink flowers, which could be smelt rather strongly from several feet away. The second had a couple of fluffy rabbits on the front, which might have been rather nice, were the rabbits not going at it rather eagerly.

“Well, they’re certainly pretty awful,” Sirius agreed. “But I don’t think either of them would believe the other had sent them a card. It’d just be a waste of money.”

“James is conceited enough to believe anyone would send him a card, even Lily, who hates his guts.”

“Okay, we’ll send them,” Sirius conceded. “But, I’m paying for them.”

“But…”

“Remus, put your money away!” Sirius ordered. Remus looked like he was going to argue, but Sirius had already put his money on the counter.

“Fine,” Remus finally agreed. “I just hope they don’t recognise the handwriting.

“Confidentiality is part of the service. These friends of yours won’t know who really sent the cards, not unless you tell them.” She went on to explain about the automatic quill service as she took Remus to the booth and left him to it.

Sirius watched as Remus chuckled to himself in the booth. He sighed and turned away, only to find himself face to face with the shop assistant again.

“So, do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day?” she asked. “Madam Puddifoot has a special menu for the day.”

“I’ll be back at school on the day,” Sirius reminded her. “We only get a few of these Hogsmeade weekends each year.”

“You could always sneak out,” she suggested. “There are secret passages into the castle from all over the village.”

Sirius nodded, already well aware of this fact.

“We could meet during one of your free periods, you do have one that day, don’t you?”

Sirius shook his head. “I’m only a fifth year,” he explained, wishing she would just give up on him and shut up.

Agatha looked like she didn’t believe him. He was about to repeat it, but was saved by Remus who had finished writing out the cards.

“So, why didn’t you want to send a card?” Remus asked as they left the post office. “Your mystery man might like a surprise delivery on Valentine’s Day. And, by the way, I will figure out the identity of him soon… even if I have to crack the password to your journals.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Sirius gave Remus a look of pure horror. If anyone could crack the password it was definitely Remus.

“Don’t look so horrified,” Remus said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t really sneak a look at your journals, you know that.”

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. Of course he knew that Remus would never betray his trust like that.

“Come on, let’s get check out Honeydukes’ new range,” Remus suggested as he hooked his arm through Sirius’s and tugged him along the path. Sirius let himself be dragged through the village, even though a part of him was wishing he could run back to the post office and buy the card with the dog on for the boy walking beside him.

-o-xXx-o-

Valentine’s Day morning saw the arrival of more owls than any other morning in the school year, except the second day of term when numerous letters and parcels arrived from parents checking their children had settled in and delivering various forgotten items.

Sirius was sprinkling sugar on his Rice Runes Cereal when a delivery owl flew low over the table and deposited its envelope in Remus’s lap.

“Hey, Remus has got a card,” Peter exclaimed as he nudged James in the side.

“So have I,” James replied with a smug grin.

“Who’s it from?” Sirius asked when he saw James looking at his card in confusion.

“It says it’s from ‘L.E.’,” James said with a frown. “Who’s got those initials?”

Remus turned to Sirius and rolled his eyes. They both knew that James’s brain rarely checked in before at least ten o’clock.

“Lauren Entwhistle?” Peter suggested with a nod to the Head Girl at the Ravenclaw table.

“She’s a seventh year,” James pointed out. “I don’t think she’d be sending a card to a fifth year.”

“She has a boyfriend anyway,” Remus said. “But at least you’ve got more to go on than I have.”

“No initials at all?” Peter asked.

“Nope.” Remus shook his head. “Just a question mark. Cute card though.”

Sirius took the card from Remus’s outstretched hand and looked at it in mingled surprise and horror. The card was the one he had been looking at, although now the dog was sitting calmly in the card, an adoring expression on its face. Sirius smiled weakly as he passed the card across the table to James.

Remus meanwhile was nudging him in the ribs and he followed the direction of his friend’s gaze. Lily Evans had received her card as well, but unlike most of the recipients of cards, she was looking far from happy. She was also shooting venomous looks in the direction of James.

“You think she knows?” Sirius whispered.

“Don’t know,” Remus hissed back. “He isn’t the only one with those initials, is he?”

“No. There’s Justin Puddleton in Hufflepuff for one.”

“She keeps glaring at James though.”

“As long as she’s not glaring at us,” Sirius snickered.

“Looks like she’s heading this way.”

“Potter!” the redhead shouted, drawing the attention of most of the room.

“I’m not deaf,” James replied with a frown of his own as he passed Remus his card back. “What do you want?”

“Did you send this?” Lily asked as she thrust her card in front of James’s nose.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Why would I send you a card after you went tattling to McGonagall about those bludgers?”

“Because you’re a flaming idiot,” Lily suggested.

James was a little slow on the uptake, but even he couldn’t fail to spot the identical smug smiles on the faces of the two boys sitting opposite him. “You gits!” he yelled as he pulled out his wand and pointed it at them.

“Gotta get to class,” Sirius choked out as he scrambled off of the bench. Remus didn’t bother wasting time with words and simply grabbed his arm and ran.

They were out of the door before Remus spoke again. “Sirius?”

“What?”

“I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others…”

“Say what?” Sirius prompted when Remus had hesitated for far too long.

“My card…it’s the one you were looking at in the post office.”

“I noticed that, too.”

“Sirius…you didn’t…you didn’t send this to me as a joke, did you?”

“What?”

“Did you send me this card as a joke?” Remus repeated.

“No, never.”

“Are you sure?”

Sirius felt his temper rising as Remus continued to question him. “I didn’t send you that card, or any other!” he snapped. “I don’t know who sent you the card, but it wasn’t me!”

Sirius turned on his heel and practically ran down the corridor. He hadn’t sent the card, but someone else had, someone who seemed to know what Remus would like as well as he did. He didn’t know what was the more upsetting, that someone else had taken a liking to his Remus, or that Remus was so blind he would believe that if Sirius were to send him a card, it would be as a joke.

-o-xXx-o-

It took over a week for James to calm down after discovering the true identity of the sender of the cards. He was still ranting about it the following Saturday, and was sulking in the dormitory whilst the rest of the Gryffindors were hanging out in the common room. He’d even managed to come to the conclusion that the two boys might have done irreparable damage to his quest to win the hand of the fairest Lily Evans, as he called her. The fact that he’d not been speaking to the girl in question at the time had apparently been forgotten. They were now – apparently – united in their annoyance at Remus and Sirius, although not united enough for Lily to accept a date with James.

“He’ll get over it,” Remus said as he looked at his own card again. “I’m sorry I thought you sent this as a joke.”

“So you said, several times,” Sirius replied, already heartily sick of the subject of Valentine’s Day cards and those who might have sent the card in question.

“Perhaps it’s someone with really unusual initials,” Remus suggested. “Zoe Zeller or Queenie?”

“Maybe,” Sirius agreed quietly, though his mind wasn’t on the conversation at all.

He wished that either he could find the courage to tell Remus the truth about how he felt, or that Remus would figure it out for himself. Could his best friend really be so blind that he couldn’t see how Sirius felt about him?

“I can’t believe you didn’t get any cards,” Remus said, not for the first time. “You’re the best looking of all of us, and you didn’t get a single one.”

Sirius felt his heart increase its pace at Remus’s quietly casual appraisal of his looks. He knew looks weren’t everything, but the idea that Remus thought he was good looking gave him a particularly pleasant feeling. “I wasn’t expecting any. I’m a Black, remember? We’re not the most popular family round here.”

“If I’d known you weren’t going to get a card and I was, I’d have sent you one,” Remus whispered confidentially.

“You would?” Sirius asked, brightening up considerably.

“Only so you didn’t feel left out,” Remus hurriedly added.

“’Course,” Sirius replied with a nod, but he couldn’t stop the small flutter of hope that was blossoming in his chest.

-o-xXx-o-

“Happy Birthday tooooo yoooooou!” Sirius, James and Peter sang to a rather surprised, but extremely pleased Remus.

“Your sixteenth birthday,” Sirius said with a grin. “How does it feel?”

“Great!” Remus replied as he looked at the feast spread out before him. “But, maybe we’d better keep the noise down in case we get caught?”

“Good idea,” Peter agreed with a nervous glance towards the kitchen door. “We’re awfully close to Professor Sprout’s rooms.” With more than a dozen detentions each so far that year, they all knew it wouldn’t do to be caught out of bounds.

“Make a wish,” James ordered. Remus closed his eyes and looked thoughtful. Then he leaned forward to blow out the candles on the chocolate cake that was the centrepiece of the table.

“What did you wish for?” Peter asked.

“I can’t tell you,” Remus replied with a laugh. “It won’t come true if I tell.”

“You’ll tell us after it comes true though, won’t you?” Sirius asked.

“You’ll be the first to know,” Remus promised. “Now, who wants cake?”

Sirius nodded as he passed Remus a knife. He wondered what his friend had wished for so thoughtfully.

There were so many things his friend wanted, to be cured of Lycanthropy, to have his brother alive and well again… Sirius knew he hadn’t wished for either of those things though, he’d wished for something that could come true, he’d said so himself.

Sirius felt his heart rate increase as he watched his friend laughing and joking with the others. He knew exactly what he would have wished for… and that his own wish was as impossible as any of Remus’s most desperate desires… at least whilst he struggled to find the courage to take a chance on telling Remus how he felt.

-o-xXx-o-

“I’m telling you, I heard someone down there.” James pointed down the corridor they needed to go down to get back to Gryffindor Tower.

“There’s no one on the map,” Sirius pointed out.

“The map’s not perfect, you said so yourself.” James tapped the parchment and muttered ‘mischief managed’ before tucking it back into the pocket of his robes.

“We’re working on the problems, and most of those are caused by too many people moving about at once. Since nearly everyone’s in bed at the moment, it should be working fine.”

“I say we make a run for it,” Remus suggested quietly.

“I agree,” Sirius nodded.

“There’s a surprise,” James muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius snapped.

“Not now,” Peter interrupted.

“I want to know what you meant,” Sirius insisted, his voice rising slightly and waking the occupant of a nearby portrait.

“You want to take your argument back to the dorm?” the irritated wizard in the portrait suggested.

James ignored the suggestion and turned to Sirius with a look of impatience. “Fine, I’ll tell you want I meant. I meant that you agree with everything Remus says, no matter what; it’s like you don’t have a mind of your own any more.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Sirius spluttered.

“Is it?” James asked. “Think about it for a minute and you’ll realise it’s true. You trail after him like a devoted puppy or something.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do,” Peter chimed in. “You’re always…”

Sirius cut off Peter with a glare. “Coming from someone who’s been living in the shadow of James Potter since first year, I don’t think you have the right to criticise me.”

“Sirius, calm down,” Remus pleaded. “We’re near to some of the teachers’ quarters; we don’t want to wake any of them.”

Sirius took a deep breath and reined in his temper.

“And what a surprise,” James commented sarcastically. “A few words from Remus, and he calms down like an obedient little puppy.”

Sirius glared at James one last time, before stalking off down the corridor.

“The Tower’s this way,” Peter called after him, bringing Sirius to a halt.

He turned round to see that James and Peter were already heading down the corridor. Remus on the other hand was waiting for him patiently.

“Do you think I’m like what James said?” Sirius asked quietly as they trailed behind the other two boys.

“I…”

“You do, don’t you?” Sirius accused.

“I don’t mind,” Remus said as he hooked his arm through Sirius’s.

Sirius slowed his pace and tried to pull his arm from Remus’s grip. The other two boys were now some distance ahead of them, climbing up the staircase.

“I like it that you’re always around,” Remus continued. “I like that I can help you keep your temper, and you do the same for me.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say to that, and so he merely climbed onto the staircase beside Remus in silence. They were only halfway up the stairs when they felt the familiar creaking that indicated the staircase was about to move.

“Oh no!” Remus muttered as he realised what was happening.

Sirius looked up and saw that James and Peter were already on the upper landing. Unfortunately, he and Remus were now heading in the wrong direction.

“We’ll have to go down towards Ravenclaw Tower and double back down the Ancient Runes corridor,” Remus called across to the others, as quietly as he could, using frantic hand gestures to convey what they were going to do.

James nodded, and he and Peter disappeared into the corridor that would eventually lead them to the Fat Lady’s portrait.

“Pity James has the map,” Sirius said as they caught the telltale sound of footsteps on the floor above them.

“Did you hear that?” Remus whispered.

“Mrs Norris,” Sirius hissed back as the cat’s eyes appeared down the end of the corridor. “Quick, in here!”

Sirius grabbed hold of Remus’s arm and pulled him into one of the alcoves that was hidden behind a tapestry. There wasn’t much room, but it would have to do until the inquisitive cat had passed them by. He hoped she hadn’t seen them, or that Filch himself was in a distant corner of the castle for the night.

“How long should we wait here?” Remus whispered into his ear. Sirius shivered as the warm breath blew his hair back and tickled his ear.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked. “You’re not getting a cold or something?”

“No,” Sirius replied with a quick shake of his head.

“You’re shivering.”

Sirius couldn’t deny it.

“What’s wrong?” Remus asked.

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“There’s nothing wrong.”

“I don’t believe you,” Remus accused sadly. “You’ve never lied to me before, not ever.”

“I’m not lying now.”

“Fine, be like that,” Remus muttered. “I thought we were best friends, and best friends aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other.”

No, they don’t, Sirius thought to himself, except when they happen to fancy their best mate and can’t find a way to tell them. “I think the coast is clear,” he said. “Let’s head back to the dorm.”

Remus nodded and followed after Sirius.

Sirius hoped, rather than believed, that Remus would drop the discussion.

“You’ve been acting funny for a while now,” Remus continued as soon as they were safely back in the common room. It seemed that James and Peter had not only beaten them back to the tower, they had already gone upstairs to the dormitory. The common room was quiet and was in almost total darkness. Sirius made his way towards the stairs, but it was clear that Remus wasn’t going to let this go and had instead taken a seat on one of the sofas. “Have I done something to upset you?”

“You don’t understand,” Sirius replied. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

“You’re not making sense.”

“I’m scared,” Sirius admitted in a quiet whisper as he sat down next to him. He simply couldn’t go on like this. Not knowing how Remus would react was killing him. He had let far too many opportunities slip through his fingers while he struggled to find the courage that the Sorting Hat seemed to believe that he had.

“Of what?”

“This,” Sirius whispered and he inched closer to Remus. The glow of the fire cast half of Remus’s face into shadow. Sirius could make out the scar he’d received from the werewolf knife and he lifted his hand up to trace it gently with his thumb as he cupped Remus’s face.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked in a confused whisper.

Then Sirius’s lips found those of the other boy and he kissed him softly. It was hesitant and sloppy and Sirius felt very awkward as he pressed his lips Remus’s. His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure that everyone in the tower would be able to hear it. He wished that Remus would kiss him back, and he realised that the kiss would be going a lot better than it was if there was some participation from the other boy.

“Sirius?” Remus gasped as he pulled away. “What are you doing?”

“K-kissing you,” Sirius stammered. “D-didn’t you like it? Remus?”

Sirius could hear that Remus was breathing as rapidly as he was, and he reached down to grasp his hand. He could tell that Remus was now shaking as much as he was, too. “Remus?” he asked again.

“Why did you do that?” Remus whispered.

“I…” Sirius didn’t know what to say. He’d wanted to kiss Remus for months, maybe even years, but why he’d chosen that moment to do so was a mystery even to him. The only answer that really sprang to mind was that it was only now that he had found the courage, but the last thing he wanted was for Remus to think he was scared of him.

“Sirius?”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered, pulling Remus into a friendly hug, and wishing that he couldn’t feel his friend becoming tense at their closeness. He’d never felt Remus stiffen at his touch before, and he felt his heart twinge.

He hugged Remus close, feeling the other boy gradually relax in his arms. He pulled back slightly in order to lean his forehead against Remus’s own. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

He could feel Remus’s warm breath mingling with his own, and couldn’t stop himself from wanting to move forward once more.

“Sirius?”

Then Remus closed the gap between them and their lips were pressed together once more. With Remus’s co-operation the kiss was far less awkward and considerably better than the first. Sirius ran his tongue over Remus’s lower lip, instinctively coaxing his mouth open wider. He tentatively pushed his tongue into Remus’s mouth, tasting chocolate and something else that he knew was uniquely Remus. He teased Remus’s tongue with his own, tempting it back into his own mouth and moaning deep in his throat as Remus’s tongue brushed the roof of his mouth.

The noise seemed to pull Remus out of whatever trance he’d been in and he pulled away. Sirius whimpered slightly at the loss of contact, but Remus was now seated as far away from him as possible at the other end of the sofa.

“Guess we’ve had a bit too much to drink,” Remus rasped.

“I only had one.”

“I won’t tell anyone what you did,” Remus continued. “I promise I won’t.”

“What we did,” Sirius corrected. “There are two of us here, and that second time you kissed me.”

Ignoring the comment about how he’d been just as much of a participant in their second kiss, Remus stated calmly. “You’ll regret it in the morning, when you’re sober.”

“I’m not drunk!” Sirius snapped.

“You have to be,” Remus argued. “You can’t like me like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m…” Remus lifted his hand to his face and absently traced the scar that Sirius had been caressing a minute before.

“I fancy you, Remus, no matter what scars you have. I have done for ages. You said you didn’t care if I liked boys instead of girls.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Because it is. You liking some random boy is totally different to…”

“Liking you,” Sirius concluded miserably.

“You’ve just had too much to drink.”

“I’m not drunk,” Sirius whispered as he reached out to try to caress the other boy’s cheek. But Remus was gone before he could touch him, the portrait hole closing behind him as he fled the Tower.

“Damn,” Sirius muttered as followed him out of the common room. The corridors were in semi-darkness, but in the distance he could see Remus hurrying away. He wanted to run after him, call after him…do something…anything, to stop his best friend’s flight. But Remus had soon disappeared into the darkness and Sirius was alone. He sank down onto the floor of the corridor and drew up his knees to his chest. Somehow, he suspected that Remus’s Birthday wish hadn’t been for the love of Sirius Black.