Situational Ethics

Situational Ethics

By Zega

A/N: Not beta-ed. All mistakes are my own.

Chapter 34

"What's Left"

Arthur Weasley gathered an old Muggle trench coat around his shoulders as he stammered outside into the cold. He breathed deeply and shivered as he emitted warm, foggy air into the cold night. He stood on his porch, waiting, looking out into the night sky. He only flinched when he heard several individuals apparate around sequentially. He smiled and nodded in their direction as Moody, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks approached him. They each exchanged brief, warm greetings before heading inside to escape the bitter cold winds.

They had just stepped over the threshold when Kingsley slammed that morning's copy of The Daily Prophet onto the coffee table.

Caitlin Lys Snape, Death Eater?

Dumbledore sipped his tea and observed from the sidelines as his friends and allies stared silently at the article. "Is it true?" asked Tonks, her hair changing into ominous black.

Kingsley seethed. "The problem is no one knows and we do not want to falsely accuse anyone. The journalists from the Prophet think otherwise. Captured Death Eaters have leaked the whereabouts of others, but none recognise Mrs. Snape or can recall her presense during the meetings."

"Then why?" asked Mrs. Weasley with evident confusion.

"She took Harry to Voldemort," Remus breathed softly. His eyes were closed, his arms were crossed, and he seemed to be very unsure of what he was going to say next. He spoke slowly. "There weren't definite signs. Yes, she would disappear, but no one knew to where she was going. Even Severus was uninformed of her whereabouts. Still, this is not public knowledge."

"Had she been with Tom, Severus would have warned us," Dumbledore assured. "Her character never suggested malice. Her action could only be described as being under the Imperius curse."

"Unfortunately, we cannot conclude that with her condition. So long as she lies in a deep coma, Caitlin's testimony will be deferred."

"Hasn't Harry testified against her?" Sirius was fighting to retrain his anger.

"Yes and I quote, 'there was something curious about her. Like she had gone mental. She wasn't Caitlin.'" Responded Kingsley.

"Tom always knew how to manipulate and torture the mind of his victims. He was profound in the art of Legilimency," Dumbledore agreed. "Having known Caitlin for a few years myself, I do not think Caitlin would've willing brought harm to Harry. Unless she was forced."

"We've seen it before," Moody stepped in. "With many witches and wizards who've done his bidding. He promises them their deepest wish in return for their loyalty. Was there something Caitlin cherished dearly?" His magical eye fell on Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's smile was one of the deepest sympathy. "There was, Alastor. She wanted a child, but suffered two miscarriages and was then told she could never have children."

Mrs. Weasley, who was blessed with more children than most families cared to have, covered her mouth in disbelief. Arthur placed his arms around her to comfort his wife.

"This reason sounds plausible," Sirius was still very skeptical, "but does anyone know for sure? Where is Severus anyways?"

Kingsley replied, "He's by her side in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts. He is just as uncertain as us."

"Any idea when she will wake up?"

Kingsley frowned. "I went to see Madam Pomfrey. She doesn't think Caitlin will wake. And if so, not for long. She's on her deathbed."

"Then for now all we have is Harry's word. Do you not trust him?" Sirius dared Kingsley to doubt his godson's word.

Kingsley did not respond, but Tonks asked, "Molly, where is Harry?"

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

Fists slammed against the wall.

Harry cried murderously at the ceiling. "Bastard!" He shouted between sharp intakes of breath. "Ahhhh! WHY?!"

A fist punched.

Crack.

Harry whimpered and slouched down. His fingers gripped his hair and tugged it as he channeled his frustrations, dubiety, and pain. How dare he.... Harry delved deep into his thoughts to try and conceive himself willingly betraying Snape. How could the man have done that to him? Hadn't it been for the few fuck ups, Snape would have succeeded in ridding himself of Harry. He willing left me. He found someone to replace me and he was seeing her while he was with me... he was engaged to her while he was with me. He was avoiding me to be with her, to forget about me, to stop loving me. Oh god.... Harry always had the urge to ask. But ignorance allowed him the joys of eating, to sleeping, and being able to think fondly of Snape.

"Harry! You open this door right now!" Hermione bellowed.

"Just blast it open! He's gone mental!" shouted Ron. "Harry! If you don't open this door right now-!"

"Sod off....” Harry ran his hands over his wet face and fisted his hands once they reached his eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"Something been wrong and we're concerned! Now you're screaming and breaking things and you won't let us in! Open this door! You can't hide in there forever!" Harry could almost feel the vibration from Hermione's tapping her foot.

"You have to the count of three, mate! One!"

Harry stood and ran his arm over his runny nose.

"Two."

"Ron, stop this nonsense! Your mum's going to maim you!"

Harry aimed his wand just as the door flew off its hinges and hurled across, slamming and splintering. The young wizard stood before his friends, his body shaking, his face soaked with tears, his eyes red, and glasses, forgotten on the ground. "I told you to let me be! Why can't you just go?!"

"We are concerned! We want to know if you're alright!" Hermione gingerly stepped over the torn pieces of wood and paint just as they heard people running up the stairs.

"Thank you, Hermione, for leading the entire Order here," Harry's expression was lethal.

Sirius was the first to arrive and he pushed pass the bushy haired girl as to look on to his godson, then hurried forwards. "What's happened, Harry?"

Second to arrive was Remus, who silently, as to not be noticed, repaired the door just as Moody turned to the others and urged them back downstairs. "This isn't a matter we should intervene. Remus, Sirius, they're better off without us." Remus complied while Sirius resisted.

"What has happened?" Sirius pressed, gripping his godson by the shoulders and looking into his broken eyes.

"Severus...," he hissed deeply from his throat in a choked sob.

The older wizard clenched his eyes shut before taking his hands off the young, but gradually maturing wizard. "I will always respect your decisions, Harry, but Severus...."

"I don't know what to do, Sirius."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked with the upmost concern, whether it be for the termination of a horrible match or just for knowledge.

"I know everything now, and I'm not sure anymore."

Whilst Harry and Sirius exchanged whispers, Hermione and Ron crept closer, eager to learn why their best mate was so shattered, broken. What was this about Severus, about Harry's uncertainty?

"Harry? What has happened?" Hermione asked quietly, her mind working frantically to connect and sort out information.

"I'm such an idiot," he finally admitted aloud. "But I wanted him so much. No one else could possibly love him as much as I do."

"And with good reason," Sirius huffed.

Harry chuckled through a sob.

"Hold on a bloody minute," Ron's mind exploded with confusion. If Harry was insinuation what Ron thought he was... then... "Blood hell."

Harry felt an approaching presence. He distinguished Hermione's profile without his glasses and through a watery glaze. "Answer me this, Harry. Is Erasmus..."

"He is my child." Somehow, disclosing this relieved Harry of this weight he wasn't even aware he was carrying. But, by the stillness of his best mates' postures, Harry guessed that there was little more he could say to dumbfound them. They had just come to learn of his unconditional love for the greasy git, and if their thoughts were the same, Severus' assistance in the making of that scrawny little baby. 'Merlin fucked him' was written across their flabbergast faces.

"It explains a lot," Hermione's voice was rough and though her eyes were settled on Harry, it was clear she had run away with her thoughts.

"You got knocked up by that greasy git?! And you never told us?!" Ron spat incredulously.

"I didn't want anyone to interfere."

"God, Harry, no wonder he's so sickly! I don't mean to challenge you, but Harry, you can't possibly know anything about raising children! Especially carrying one!"

"We tried to reprimand him for that, Remus and I." Sirius added with a smirk. "But it was too late. Can you image the trauma of coming home and discovering that your young godson just birthed a baby?" Sirius tried shaking off the emotional ties he still felt from the shock.

"You had a baby... You bloody had a baby!" Ron pointed his finger at Harry, "You're mental! How could you?! You... him!" Ron stuck his index finger into his fist and then pointed in the direction of Erasmus' nursery.

Harry could only nod. His mind was once again fleeting. Caitlin was in a coma. He was uninformed of the seriousness of her condition. If she woke, recovered, then she and Snape would be. If she died, Harry would have to accept that he ultimately was the cause of her demise. But then, maybe there would be a chance that him, Snape, and their son could have a happily ever after. But first, both he and Snape would need to heal.

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

"Crucio!" The dark voice shouted.

Caitlin's body writhed on the ground, her high voice screamed. "No! Please!"

A boney, dark hand gripped her arm with fathomless strength. "Do as I say, or be damned." Voldemort spat at her and wrenched her from the ground. "Get up, you disgusting creature!"

"I will not hurt Harry!"

"Your husband has failed me. If you want him to live, you will do as I say. Tell me everything about Harry or I will take it with force!" Voldemort backhanded her and blood spewed from her nose.

"Never!" She cried out, wiping the blood from her face.

A second spell hit her and she crumpled to the ground, screaming. "Shall I persuade you?"

Her eyes rolled back and images flooded her mind. She was with child. Her husband was beside her, stroking her hair. She looked down and saw a little boy at her feet, playing with wooden blocks. "Mommy," he called. "I'm building a house." Caitlin's face filled with joy and then the child fell forwards and did not move. Severus vanished and she held in her hands her still born daughter, bloody, underdeveloped, and hot. "No... no, no, no, no!"

She awoke and Voldemort grinned wickedly. "Obey me, Caitlin, and I will give you everything."

"You cannot! I cannot have children!"

Everything around her disappeared and she stood in her house. At her side, a crib and a sleeping son. The same boy. He was breathing steadily. A knitted blanket covered his young body. And in his little arms, a stuffed blue bear. Tears poured from her eyes as the image fainted and she was once again in her aunt’s living room.

Voldemort was laughing softly. "A son and a daughter. I can promise you both. No more miscarriages. You will be a mother."

Caitlin wept. "You can't give me a child."

"Enough. Sleep, Caitlin. Sleep. Imperio!"

The terrifying, hooded wizard disappeared and images of children flooded to her mind. Voldemort had manipulated Imperio so that those cursed would have no desire to fight the incantation.

Kingsley stood back from the pensive. He was the fifth person to view the forcefully extracted memories, but certainly the first person to not bear any emotion. He breathed in deeply then looked back at her unconscious body then to Snape. "Those memories were not altered, Kingsley," Dumbledore assured. "Caitlin is innocent."

"Of course she's innocent!" Shouted Corvus. "Caitlin's never lied! She's never hurt anyone!"

"It's natural of a father to think that," shot Moody. "We could not know, until now."

There was no recollection of her attack on Harry that any of the Aurors could find.

Lys, Caitlin's mother, ran her hand softly over her daughter's, feeling the crusty scars and protuberant bruises on her battered up hand. "How could he have hurt my daughter like this?"

"It was self defense. Knowing Potter, I'm sure he was coerced into fighting her." His voice had long since become impassive, as he had detached in order to make it through these tough times. He still couldn't recall the final moments of the battle. Or how Caitlin came to be this way.

Pomfrey was scribbling notes down as she scanned Caitlin by positioning her wand just inches above her body. "She isn't recovering. Her body has completely stopped trying to heal. Even the potions are doing little to help her. I fear for the worst."

Lys' head titled to the side in defeat. "And there is nothing we can do for her?" she asked, knowing the answer before her lips could form words.

Pomfrey remained quiet, knowing that if they didn't receive a confirmation, they could continue to hope.

Snape observed the healer. There was little if any hope for Caitlin. But maybe, this was best. Kingsley turned from the crowd, not wishing to impose upon them. He gathered all the evidence he needed. Even if it so happened that Caitlin was guilty, her fate was enough of a penalty to endure. He nodded in the direction of the mourning parents before taking his leave. Moody followed shortly after.

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

"Let's play airplane! Brrrooooommmm!" Erasmus kicked his tiny feet and spread his arms high above his head as his father scooped him in his arms and hoisted him into the air. Erasmus laughed merrily kicked his feet as fast as he could as Harry ran around his crib. Eras seemed to be the only one who could make Harry feel carefree and at peace. "Brroooomm! Oh no! Airplane is going down! Eeee!" Erasmus screamed and laughed as Harry pretended a crash landing into the crib, where he tickled Erasmus and blew raspberries on his tummy.

Sitting on a couch nearby, Hermione and Ginny watched, laughing as they observed Harry's idea of play time with his son. It was strange to think of Harry as a father... mother, whatever you wanted to call him. And it was even stranger when they thought about his conception. Ginny, as well as her mother and brother, save Ron, were still left in sheer darkness about the identify of Harry's partner. Ginny really wanted to know. She could see traces of someone else whenever she looked at Eras. She couldn't tap it with her wand, but she felt she knew somehow.

"Raaawr!" Harry had reached for Erasmus' green tyrannosaurus puppet with the big black eyes and was making it grab Erasmus' feet and legs.

Little Erasmus tried kicking it and clapped his hands. He looked up at Harry and then reached for his father's face. Harry in turn took the puppet and manipulated it so it was tickling his son's puffy face. At some point, Erasmus surprised Harry by pulling the puppet right off of Harry's hand. He smiled then took the quilt that Mrs. Weasley had sewed with patches of lily pads and frogs and flapped it over his baby. The puppet was forgotten on the side while Erasmus tried to grab the blanket. Harry then wrapped the quilt around Erasmus and made himself a little baby burrito. He picked up his son and rocked him in his arms. "You're so soft," Harry commented, running his hands down the puffy cheeks and forehead.

Hermione sighed contently, holding a stuffed minnow in her hand from an earlier play time. The resemblance between Erasmus and his other father were striking. A nose like that could only lead back to their old Potions Professor. Hermione thought she could never lay her eyes upon Snape again without blushing. Even now, every so often, images of Harry being intimate with the dark man would creep into her thoughts. "Harry, I think it's time for Eras to eat."

"Baby can't be a stink bomb without the proper fuel," Fred laughed in the corner while George slouched near by.

Harry looked down at the bundle of joy in his arms. Erasmus almost looked like he was pouting up at Harry. He must've learned that look from someone else because Harry couldn’t recall pouting around his son so much. "Eras...," he couldn’t comprehend how much his son has grown. Erasmus was barely over half a year old, much puffier, louder, and ate a whole lot more than before. Erasmus was also much more playful and interactive with Harry and his surroundings.

Playing with his son was great distraction. It kept his mind busy with trying to entertain him, trying to make Erasmus laugh. Only when he paused did he remember that eventually, Snape would recall those final moments and that revelation. Soon enough, he would come.


SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

"Mommy, it's time to wake up."

It was dim all around. The blurred images were especially not discernable with such darkness hovering. "It's still night, love. Where am I?"

No one answered her. “Love? Penny?”

The images became steady. Caitlin felt the sheets beneath her were not those of her bed in her home. Her eyes fell upon the lit candle by her bed side. She frantically looked around. She saw potion bottles, then images came to mind. Voldemort, the Cruciatus, Imperius, and finally, pain. She found her voice, though it was weakened and heavy. She moaned lowly. It was all she could do. Then she felt dryness in her mouth. Thirst. She followed it down her throat to a sharp pain in her stomach. Hunger. Then her body registered with her and pain surpassed everything else. She stared in confusion and panic at the ceiling. Where was she? What happened to her? Where was her daughter Penny? "'elp," though she thought she had screamed it, her cry came out muffled and soft.

"Caitlin?" Snape's gasped. No, she wasn't supposed to wake up.

"Se... Sev'rus." So weak. So Frail.

And Snape was broken. "How do you feel? Do you need water? Food? Can you feel?"

"Tried," she finally managed. "I'm tired. You are alright." Her voice was coming back, though it was raspy. No longer sweet and delicate.

"Rest, you are safe now. The war's over. He's gone."

"I wish I could hug you. I am ha...ppy." She managed a smile then cringed. Pain was amounting and she couldn't move to sooth her body.

"You had trauma to the brain. Poppy said you wouldn't be able to move your right side ever again."

"Is that all? At least we're alive. And Harry?"

Snape smiled softly. "He's alive and as vigorous as ever."

"They're so full of life. Children. I dreamt of our daughter. We named her Penny," with that, small tears fell from her eyes.

"Hush, Caitlin. You've endured too much."

"Can I see Harry? I've always thought of him as our son."

"That is not a good idea," Snape said, not referring particularly to either comment. "You must rest. You're not well."

"It hurts, Sev'rus. It hurts so much. I want to scream." Her breathing was becoming frantic.

"Caitlin, you need to rest." Snape touched her forehead. She was growing cold.

"Ah... it hurts. I want it to be over. I want to be with my son and daughter," she looked at her husband. "You must know, Sev'rus. I did nothing wrong."

Snape held onto her hand. She cringed and her breathing sped up... slowed down.

"...Caitlin?"

"Mommy?" Caitlin looked pass her husband to see a young girl with black curls walking out of the infirmary.

Everything was getting fuzzy. Her vision was faltering. "Where are you going?"

"Let's play hide and seek. You close your eyes and count. No peeking." Though the girl had long left the room, it was like she was speaking against Caitlin's ears.

Caitlin smiled, closed her eyes and counted softly. The last things she felt was Snape's hand grasping hers tightly.

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

A small, quiet funeral followed that weekend, and Snape said his last farewell before the burial. At the end of the day, Snape was alone at his home. He looked around the well furnished room, seeing Caitlin's jewelry and clothes, her pillows and pictures, and was reminded of her presense in this now very empty room. On their desk were letters she had received and were writing. As Snape averted his eyes towards the closed door, it was like he was waiting for her to step through any moment, in her silk nightgown with a cup of tea.

As terrible as it was, Snape did not miss her. The absence of that feeling of lost allowed Snape to accept that he truly did not love her. He knew he cared, but he did not love. He regretted and felt guilty. Even more so because now he knew there was no one on his part stopping him from establishing a relationship with Potter. "If he will ever look at me again."

Snape always thought of situational ethics as those people would turn to in order to save themselves or others. Only used when the matter was crucial. When Snape dwelled on his immoralities, he knew that none of them had enough reason for a rightful person to act upon. Snape, however, called them his situational ethics because given another circumstance he would not have done it and would not have advised anyone else to. But because it was Harry... because he was in love... because the boy was always so close, Snape allowed himself to run away with the moment and indulge himself in splendor he could not have otherwise. "They are really a system of ethics emphasizing context. Moral judgments should be made depending on the context in which they are to be made rather than on general moral principals." Snape felt this should apply to everything... as it already did in almost all his cases.

Nevertheless, he should never do it again. Tear someone's heart like that. Though he was sure Caitlin never knew and thus, never suffered a broken heart. Harry, on the other hand, had suffered too much because of Snape. But the brat was persistent and very determined. Shameless too.

Snape closed his eyes. Besides his opinion on situational ethics, there was yet another pressing thought swarming against the front of his mind. He closed his eyes.

I fucking love you!

Snape cringed and held his hands against his head. He longed to remember his final, "glorious" moments everyone was honoring and praising him for. He never tried ripping it from the depths of his mind for Poppy told him they would erupt on their own in due time.

You can't die! Harry's voice was desperate. Snape remembered trying to hold onto Harry's words. At that time, he feared they were the last he would ever hear. Then, he remembered the real reason he fainted that day.

We have a son!

Snape felt a steel Quaffle plummet into his stomach and smack bottom. He retched.

A/N: Before I bring this story to an end, is there anything I haven't covered that you demand of? Lately there have been requests for more Erasmus. Is there anything besides that? I forget what needs to be covered when I focus telling the last of the story. And, yes, in the next chapter, Snape will be confronting Harry about their son. And he will be furious. Please review and express your concerns or opinions on the chapter. They make authors happy and eager to post faster.
And please, please rate.