Saving your life

She had gone up to her bedroom as soon as they got back from Diagon Alley, claiming she didn’t feel well, but she actually wanted some time alone to think.

Well, they had told her she had been working with someone else, and now it seemed she knew who it was. Malfoy? She could hardly believe she would have trusted him, no matter what he said.

Then again, she never would have guessed she would have trusted Snape either, not after all he’d done. Some very strange things had happened that summer, and she wasn’t sure what to think of it. She had always been the brainy one, thinking things over and over, never wanting to do anything rushed, so she probably had had good reasons to trust them. She just wondered what it had been.

There was something that didn’t fit, though. Why had Malfoy kissed her? He had always hated her, and she had hated him back. He was arrogant, and a bully, and a damned Death Eater! He had called her by her name, like they were close, and hadn’t looked as repulsed to see her as he always had. What on earth had she been up to those months?

“Ginny?” she asked, as the girl entered the bedroom.

“What?” she said, closing the door behind her.

“I wanted to ask you something,” said Hermione, as she sat up on the bed.

“About what?”

“Well, I’ve been trying to remember what happened to me, the things I’ve forgotten, and I wanted to ask you…”

“Ask me what?” said Ginny, now clearly interested.

“Do you know if I was… well, seeing someone?”

“You remember?” Ginny asked, shocked, and Hermione felt her heart beat faster. Had she really been going out with someone?

“Not really,” she answered, “I just had the feeling…”

“Well, you were,” she answered grinning, “‘though I don’t know who it was.”

“Why not?”

“Well, you never told me. I found out when you came home one night with a hickey on your neck. I even had to cover it up when you snuck out to see him a few times. I guess you just didn’t want Ron to find out or something.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Whoever he was, he didn’t come looking for you or visited when you were unconscious, so I figured you had either broken up, or he was an idiot not worthy of your time. I didn’t see any reason to upset you over it.”

“Oh,” she merely replied, lying back on the bed. “And who did visit?” she asked, as an afterthought.

“Well, most of the Order stopped by, at least once. Harry, Ron and I, of course, we spent lots of time there and the rest of the family, too. The ones that surprised me the most were Kingsley and Remus, they seemed really worried. Then Snape, but that was weird. I found him there a few times, but he never spoke to anyone and always left as soon as someone showed up.”

“He did?”

“Yes, but you know Snape; he’s weird, so I don’t know why it should surprise us,” she muttered, as she climbed into her bed.

“Yes, I guess you’re right,” she said, before putting the lights out.

She didn’t get much rest that night, her mind busy trying to sort all the new information out. She was sure Snape knew the truth, but she didn’t think she could just talk him into telling her anything else.

Morning found her still confused, and there was only one thing that helped her when she felt that way. She needed to talk to her parents.

She stretched and got up from bed, walking to her desk, where she saw a small roll of parchment. Something wasn’t right, it was the same letter she had sent her parents a few days earlier.

As she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, the parchment still in her hand, she saw most of the Weasleys, Harry and Remus already there, having breakfast. They greeted her as she entered, but when she stopped by the door, some of them looked at her with curiosity.

“What’s up?” Ron asked, between mouthfuls.

“I sent a letter to my parents a few days ago,” she said, and saw Harry, Ron and Remus pale.

“Well, we wanted to talk to you about that,” said Harry. “We were just waiting for the right time.”

“What’s there to talk about?” she asked, feeling worried. She had only wanted to ask them if the Order had moved her parents to a safe house, like they had discussed a few times, but with the way they reacted,

“After you were attacked,” said Remus, “we tried to contact your parents, but they weren’t home. It actually looked like they hadn’t been there for weeks. We tried to find them, but to no avail.”

“What?” she asked, just as someone walked past her. She didn’t even turn as Charlie walked into the kitchen and sat next to his sister. “You can’t find my parents? You were supposed to protect them!”

“Hermione, please,” Harry said, trying to calm her down. “It’s just a matter of time before we find them.”

“Oh, Merlin, what if Voldemort has them? What if they’re hurt or dead?” she muttered her eyes wide with fear. Only then, as she looked at everyone in the room, did she notice Charlie’s eyes on her, firmly shaking his head no, leaning back in the chair so the others wouldn’t notice. She frowned and opened her mouth to ask, but he moved a finger to his lips, asking her to keep quiet.

“I’m sure they’re alright,” Ron said reassuringly. If the Death Eaters had them, we would know by now. Maybe they just went on vacation, and you forgot they had told you,” he said, unconvincingly.

Charlie got up from his chair then, and walked back out of the kitchen. He gave her a meaningful look as he passed her, and then she heard his loud footsteps up the stairs. It was a good thing everyone else was too focused on her to notice him leave just a few minutes after walking in.

“I think I’ll go change now,” she muttered, still wearing her nightgown, “and then I want to know exactly what you have been doing to try and find them.” With that, she turned around and walked back up the stairs.

Charlie was waiting for her there, leaning against her bedroom door.

“Do you know something they don’t?” she asked, as she reached them.

“Not here,” he muttered, as he opened the door to her bedroom and stepped inside.

“What is it,” she asked, sitting on her bed as he closed the door again and leaned against it.

“Your parents are safe,” he said, clearly not wanting her to worry any more.

“How do you know?”

“One night, after an attack, I saw you sneaking into the house. It was already morning, so you had been out the whole night. You told me you were worried about your parents’ safety, and that you had moved them somewhere safe.”

“Then why didn’t the others know about it?”

“You didn’t want them to. You said you’d feel better if you were the only one who knew, I guess you had your reasons, but that’s all you told me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Well, I wasn’t here before, remember? I just came back for the wedding. And quite frankly, I didn’t remember until now.”

“But of no one else knows where they are…”

“All that secrecy isn’t always a good idea.”

“I have to find them,” she said, getting up and walking to the door.

“Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” he said, opening the door for her and following her out.

It turned out they had been doing quite a lot to find her parents, Kingsley had even talked to some people at the Ministry. If they hadn’t found them yet, it meant they were very well protected.

She decided not to tell anyone she had been the one to send them away. She didn’t see how that information could help find them, and wasn’t sure how she would explain her actions if they found out.

So another day went by, with her sitting in the library, now not only researching on memory spells, but also on tracking charms. As she went to bed that night, she wondered if she should meet Malfoy the next day. It seemed foolish, but maybe, if what he said had really happened, and she had trusted him that much, he might know where her parents were, or how to find them.

She had spent the entire next day trying to decide what to do, and as the hour approached, she put her cloak on, and then took it off, at least a dozen times, as she changed her mind, from going to see him to staying safely at home. She didn’t trust him, and wouldn’t be surprised if he Apparated her straight to Voldemort himself, but she also wanted answers. Where was her Gryffindor courage? She was sure she was more powerful than he was, no matter how many dark curses he had learned, so what was there to be afraid of, really? She would be ready for anything, and would simply disarm him at the first opportunity, so there wasn’t much to lose, but a lot to gain.

Well, that was it; she had finally made up her mind. Putting her cloak back on, she silently crept down the stair and out of headquarters. She Apparated in front of the Leaky Cauldron, stepped inside, and took a moment to look around, to see if he was already there.

“You came,” she heard a voice she knew all too well whisper behind her, and she turned around, wand ready by her side.

“I want answers,” she told him firmly, going straight to the point as she turned to face him. He was wearing a long cloak, his face hidden under the hood again, but she didn’t need to see him to know who he was.

“Come,” he said, walking to the door; after a few seconds, she decided to follow him.

“Where are you going?” she asked him as soon as they stepped back out of the tavern.

“We,” he answered, “are going somewhere we can talk without risking being found or overheard.”

“Where?” she asked, and as soon as the words left her lips, he wrapped his hand around her wrist firmly and Apparated them away.

The moment he let go of her hand, she turned around to face him, wand pointing straight to his chest.

“Drop your wand,” she commanded firmly, before he had time to raise it.

“What?”

“Drop. Your. Wand,” she repeated slowly, a few sparks shooting from the tip of her wand when he didn’t do as told.

“Put that down, woman. Merlin, what is wrong with you?” he said, his face still hidden under the hood.

“If I have to say it again, I will disarm you myself and then call the Aurors,” she said firmly. “Now do it.”

With a sigh, he finally dropped the wand by her feet, and she kicked it to the side.

“Where are we?” she asked, looking around.

“Oh, come on, we’ve been here lots of times,” he said, and she looked around. They were in a small wooden cabin, but it didn’t even look familiar. Her eyes flicked to the window for a moment, but it was too dark outside to see anything. She saw movement from the corner of her eye, and turned to him again, just as he stepped closer.

“Stay where you are,” she warned him.

“How can you not remember this place?” he asked, taking another step closer, but stopped as a few more sparks shot from her wand.

“Was it here where we met?” she asked.

“Yes, among other things,” he said suggestively, but he ignored his comment.

“Sit.”

“Always had great manners, love,” he said, but sat down by the small table all the same.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asked, as she sat in front of him.

“If you really can’t remember, then I thought you’d want answers, and I have a few questions myself,” he said, as he lowered the hood, and she gasped as she saw his face.

“What’s happened to you?” she asked, noticing the dark circles around his eyes, and the paleness of his skin. He also looked much too thin, as if he hadn’t had a proper meal in months.

“Merlin, will we have to go through all of this again?” he asked with a sigh, but still answered. “All right then. After that night at Hogwarts, the night Dumbledore died, I was forced to go back to the Dark Lord. He wasn’t pleased with me, and decided keeping me locked up in the dungeons for weeks would be more fun than to kill me.”

“He locked you up?” she asked.

“Yes. It was a good way to make sure he would have my family’s ‘assistance’ in anything he wanted. If my mother hadn’t managed to sneak to the dungeons every few days with some food, I would have died there.”

She looked at him for a few moments, remembering what he had looked like the last time she’d seen him. “You said we were working together,” she said, and he nodded. “How did it happen?”

“Well, I had been shackled in the dungeons for weeks, when one night the door opened and the Death Eaters brought someone in. It was too dark to see who.”

“Was it me?” she asked, but he ignored her question and continued speaking, a faraway look on his eyes.

“Less than an hour later Severus came back. He told me he could get me out of there, but I had to tell the Dark Lord you and I were involved, and that I had fooled you into passing me information. I told him there was no way anyone would believe I would go anywhere near a Mudblood,” he said, a disdainful look on his face she knew too well. “He said father would tell the Dark Lord the same thing, told me mother had convinced him to lie to his Master, and he would do it.”

“Did he believe it?”

“Will you stop interrupting?” he said, exasperated, but then continued as if nothing had happened. “Severus said you would never believe him if he was the one that talked to you, so he woke you up and left before you could see him. I explained the situation, you refused to do it, we argued, and finally you realized I was right, as usual, and it was the only way we could both get out of there alive.”

“So that’s how it happened?” she asked, more to herself than to him.

“Now that I answered your question, you answer one of mine. What did Severus say when he found out you’d lost your memories?”

“He said I was better off that way,” she snorted, laying the wand on the table, but with her fingers still wrapped around it.

“And what did your friends say? Did they know about me?”

“I had told them I had been working with someone,” she answered, still not sure she should trust him. “Why didn’t Snape tell you what had happened to me?”

“What do you know about what happened with him these last few months?”

She looked at him, uncertain, but finally decided to answer. Well, at least partly. “All they told me was he convinced the Order he was on our side, and they let him back in.”

“He had been giving me information on the Dark Lord’s plans, so that I would tell you,” he said, “but I don’t think he’s really with the Order.”

“What?” she asked, feeling confused.

“I think he just did it to get back inside the Order, but he’s still loyal to the Dark Lord.”

“And what about you?” she asked, and he snorted.

“That bastard left me to die; he abused my family, even tortured my mother just to punish my father. I want him dead, just like you.”

“And why should I believe you?”

“Why should you believe me?” he asked, with a hint of anger in his voice. He stood up, and so did she, her wand to his chest once more as he stepped closer.

“Stay where you are.”

“Put the wand down,” he said firmly, moving even closer.

“No.”

“Put. It. Down,” he repeated, and before she knew what was happening, he had his fingers wrapped around her wrist, pushing her arm to the side as he stood inches away from her. “Don’t ever point your wand at me again, Granger,” he said, and pushed her to the wall.

“Malfoy, stop,” she said, trying to push him away, but he was too strong.

“I have proven my loyalties to you more than once, and am willing to do it again, given what has happened to you, but I won’t have you treating me like that,” he said, his body flush against hers as he whispered by her ear. “We’ve been through a lot together; don’t ruin it all because of old resentments.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me, love, you know you can’t fool me. I’m sure you already know about us, at least the basics,” he said, and moved to kiss her neck.

“Stop it,” she said, but he just kept on. He pushed his thigh between her legs then, softly rubbing against her through her jeans.

“How can you not remember?” he whispered again, and she could feel him hard against her thigh.

“This can’t be true. We would never…” she said, but he kissed her before she could finish. It was a strange feeling, suddenly familiar. The cabin, a man kissing her. No matter how hard the voice of reason screamed in her head, she begun to wonder if what he was saying was true.

After a few moments, when she still didn’t respond to the kiss, he pulled back.

“I felt the same way when it started,” he said, as their eyes locked, “but it also felt right,” he finished, and finally stepped away. “I guess you’ll just need some time,” he said, as he reached for his wand, still lying on the floor. She didn’t try to stop him, didn’t even move from the spot where he had left her. “Here,” he said, taking something out of his pocket and tapping it with his wand.

“What is it?” she asked, outstretching her hand.

“I’m sure you already know,” he said, handing her a golden Galleon. “You were, after all, the one that gave it to me.”

“The Protean Charm,” she muttered, looking at the Galleon more closely.

“We used them to communicate. I figured you wouldn’t remember where you’d left yours, so I made you a new one.” He frowned at her surprised expression, and said, “I can cast a Protean Charm, you know?”

“You can?” she asked, mocking.

“We had a few changes made, however. It will show the time for a meeting; right there, see?” he said, pointing at one of its corners. “And when the time comes, it will turn into a Portkey, and will take us both somewhere else. We usually met here, but we can also change the place if we need to.”

“It’s also a Portkey?” she asked.

“My idea, of course,” he said, smugly. “Just in case we needed to change location and didn’t have time to tell the other. I have to go now, or someone might get suspicious. Keep an eye on Severus, and don’t tell him we’ve met. He can’t be trusted.”

“I’m still not sure I can trust you either,” she told him.

“You will soon,” he answered. “And I’ll need some information too.”

“What?”

“I need to know where the Order is keeping the prisoners. I have to make sure the information Severus gives the Dark Lord isn’t real.”

“I don’t know that,” she said, as he started walking to the door.

“I’m sure you can find out,” he answered, before Apparating away.

She took a few minutes to go through everything that had happened, but no mater how hard she tried, she couldn’t make up her mind on what to think of it. All she knew was she had to find a way get her memories back, and fast.

She silently cursed as she opened the door; the house was so quiet she was sure the screeching sound would wake everyone up. She waited a few moments, half expecting everyone to run down the stairs to see who had made the noise, but nothing happened. Casting a silencing charm on it, she closed it again and tiptoed inside. She was halfway down the hallway when she noticed the flickering lights coming from the library.

Taking a deep breath, she took another step forward, hoping whoever was inside wouldn’t notice her, but she wasn’t so lucky.

“Where have you been?” Harry’s voice called. She sighed and walked into the library to find him sitting next to Ron, both looking at her intently.