Redeem Me

DISCLAIMER: Warning! I make no claim to any property of J.K. Rowling's, and am in no way profiting by this. I do offer her my sincerest thanks for allowing us this garden of the mind in which we play. Further Warning! This story...and likely any I ever write…are dominated by gay themes and characters. That's how it is, if this in any way makes you uncomfortable...do not read further.

Redeem Me…by Samayel

Chapter 34: Understanding…And Misunderstanding


‘The sounds of the dying were all around him. A deafening cacophony of helpless despair. All accusing, all consuming. He’d abandoned them…the unremembered, mourned and now meaningless. Ginny, Hermione, Sirius, Cedric, Albus…and even his parents. Their killers, and those who had striven to aid those killers, walked free, hiding from their long overdue debt.

Like wild animals, incapable of reason, the beasts that had slaughtered so many simply needed to be put down. It was just. It was right. It was unfinished. Harry stood as a silent witness, before endless fields of carnage. The maimed, the gutted and torn, the burnt and battered were all before him. They’d died by spell, by strangling cord, by blade and brutal hand. His refusal to mete out like punishment to their murderers was an act of abandonment, and the screams echoed in his skull.

Coward, betrayer, and worse rang in his ears. Harry wept helplessly, in a field of the war’s forgotten, and ached for his waking mind to claim him.

“Harry”

“Harry.”

Harry’s eyes snapped open like shutters. Draco was leaning across the bed, addressing Harry quietly, obviously trying to wake him from his nightmares. He hoped he hadn’t left Draco on his own through a nightmare, but he was glad to be awake nonetheless. Harry seriously considered using Dula’s spell on himself...if it would give him a break from nightmares like that one. Harry rubbed his eyes and gave a faintly grumpy smile of gratitude to Draco.

“Thanks. There wasn’t much of anything going on in my head that I want to go back to. You alright?”

“Mostly. It wasn’t too pretty in my skull either. I was kind of glad you woke me up. I heard you muttering things in your sleep, and it snapped me awake. I was back in Muggle London. Nowhere I want to remember.”

“Mmm. I was seeing people who aren’t with us anymore. From the war. I get that a lot. Hey…I’ll be back. I’ve got a headache cure in my room. This one just left my head pounding. Feels like an army of house-elves trying to work their way out of my head with pickaxes. ‘Kay?”

Draco nodded and laid back when Harry left the room. He listened quietly, hearing the soft sounds from the room next to him, and followed Harry’s journey by hearing the details. The unsteady, sleepy steps. The pop of a cork. The gulp of liquid, followed by a yawn and a small burp. Then steps drawing near again…this time surer than before. Draco curled sideways and faced Harry, who flopped back into the chair.

Draco had too much on his mind. Even calmed by Harry’s spell, which would guard against the majority of ill-dreams the rest of the night, he was still full of restless thoughts. The spell couldn’t seem to eliminate Draco’s memories, but it did dim them slightly, keeping the worst of his reactions to them under control. Perhaps he was just growing used to them as well. He hadn’t woken screaming in days, and even getting sleep in three and four hour portions was better than barely sleeping or being rendered unconscious by potions. He didn’t feel much like sleeping at the moment. Too many things were on his mind from the previous day.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you for a little? I…I’m not feeling that sleepy at the moment.”

“Sure. We’re both up anyway. What’s on your mind?”

“I didn’t mean to…to overreact today. About the wand…and you picking some things up for me. I know it isn’t that much money altogether…but I…I felt like I owe you and Molly and Arthur so much already. It was just too much at once. A wand is a wizard’s freedom…and it means a lot that you’d want me to have one…enough to even buy it for me. It goes beyond money. No amount of Galleons could mean more than what you’d be doing for me. You know?”

Harry nodded, pulling his feet up onto the chair and settling his arms around his legs.

“Yeah, I can understand that. I was…well, I was just afraid you were insulted. I know you don’t want charity…and that’s okay. I don’t think it’s charity at all. I know you’re good for it if you want to pay it back, but I also wish you’d just let me give you something. You know you helped me out a lot yesterday. We all care about you here. People who care about each other give each other gifts. You wouldn’t owe me anything.”

Draco mulled that over quietly.

“Okay. You’re wrong about one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

“I owe all of you my life…and my sanity. Maybe it isn’t something you can count out in coins, but I owe this household more than just Galleons could pay. I’ll find a way to pay it back…someday. I’m still reeling from being offered a job…by the Weasley twins! You are sure the want an accountancy clerk, right? Not a test dummy?”

Harry chuckled in spite of being tired.

“Yes…I’m sure. They’re always at the books, and they’re just as sick of it as I am. They need your skills, and I think you’d get on well enough with them. I told them not to give you too much trouble, but I’d expect at least a prank or two anyway. If you can let one or two slide, I know they’ll be your biggest cheering section after they see what you can do with Gringott’s and Ministry paperwork. Trust me.”

“Ahh. I guess I could take a few wisecracks, but can you make sure they don’t…fuck…Merlin…y’know…touch me? I…just…I can’t handle it. I can barely handle you or Molly…and I trust you two completely. I don’t want to embarrass myself. It’s humiliating enough…being like this.”

“Draco. They’re coming for dinner in a couple nights. We can both talk to them, and they’ll understand. Some things…some things they just don’t joke about. I can make it clear for them…what they shouldn’t do…and they’ll listen. They’re nicer than you think. Wait ‘til you see George’s magical eye! If you thought Mad Eye Moody was able to pull some stunts…George is a riot!”

Draco mumbled agreement, still a little unsure of the wisdom of working alongside Fred and George, whose pranks were the stuff of legend.

“Harry? You’d coach me through some exercises, right? Pomfrey said I needed to get some muscle mass back…and I never had to work out before. You’d show me how, wouldn’t you?”

“I said I would. We can start this morning before breakfast. That’s the first lesson. Work out, take a shower and relax, then eat afterwards. If you eat before you exercise, you’re full of food and slow…and you could cramp. If you work too hard and then eat right after…you could also cramp. So tomorrow we exercise, then we clean up and get some clean clothes, then we grab some breakfast. Then we hit Diagon Alley, and you get anything you want, on any terms you want, as long as let yourself get a wand at Ollivander’s. You earned it. Besides, I like the idea of you having magic at your call again.”

“Really? Why?”

Harry let the next words slip from his tongue carefully. This was something he’d wanted to say since he’d hit Diagon Alley yesterday.

“Because…if you can do magic again, and you stay here, it would mean that you want to be here…not just because you have to be here. I’d like that.”

Draco was silent for a long while, and Harry wasn’t certain as to whether Draco was asleep or not. Then he heard a soft rustle of sheets.

“It’s kind of cold. You know…it’s probably not good for you to sleep on the chair like that for so many nights in a row. If…if you wanted to…you could sleep…like before.”

Draco’s breath was caught in throat. He couldn’t bring himself to ask for any more than that. The other time had so obviously been Harry’s generosity, but this, this would be different. It wasn’t desperate need in the face of nightmares, or comfort in the face of nearly killing himself. This was admitting that Harry was welcome in his bed, for no reason other than that Draco wanted him there. Harry didn’t say a word, and just silently unfolded himself from the chair, slipping the blanket he’d kept for the chair over himself, letting Draco keep the sheets between them as before.

Draco curled close to Harry’s arm and sighed softly with relief. He still had the neurotic fear that Harry would explode into violence if touched, but hearing Harry’s words that evening, telling him so clearly that Harry most certainly did not see him as ugly, had bolstered his courage.

“Thanks…it was a little chilly.”

Draco suppressed a smile.

“You’re welcome. Sweet dreams.”

“Let’s hope so…it’d be a nice change of pace.”

And that was that. In the still cool of a November night, Draco curled comfortably closer to Harry, who remained perfectly still even in his sleep, and let himself drift back to slumber.

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Arthur Weasley woke a little early that morning. Just lately, he’d taken to setting the tea up first thing, and letting Molly come down a bit later and set breakfast with a little help from him along the way. She said she was fine, and didn’t need him in the way, but adorably, she didn’t complain half as much as if she’d meant it. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as he rolled out of bed, pulled on his house slippers and bathrobe, and headed for the stairs.

The door to Harry’s room was open, and per usual, Harry was absent…since he was always in that chair in Draco’s room, keeping watch for nightmares like the fine lad he was. Draco’s door, however, was closed, and as Arthur passed it, the most unusual noises drew his attention.

There were grunts, then there were groans, then some huffs and a loud exhalation. Arthur was a bit groggy when he’d just woke, but his eyes snapped wide open when he realized what those sorts of sounds must mean! Then voices, strained from obvious exertion, became clearly audible.

“Ouch! That hurts! I think I need to slow down.”

“Draco…you won’t get the most from this if you don’t loosen up. You’re trying too hard. Pace yourself. Breathe easier and slower. This will pay off soon, trust me.”

“Sure! So you say! You’re not the one on his back and sore as hell! This is more work than I thought.”

“Anything worth the effort always is. C’mon, let’s try this again. I thought you were doing great.”

“Push, push, push! That’s all you do, Harry. I’m the one doing the hard part now. You weren’t kidding about the second lesson were you?”

“No I wasn’t. Loosen up first, or it’ll hurt more later. You wanted to rush straight to the serious parts, and now you’re paying the price. Keep trying.”

“Ow! Oh! Damn!”

Once Draco’s voice was reduced to series of rhythmic grunts and occasional curses, Arthur moved away from the door, shocked beyond his ability to even remember why he was headed for the kitchen.

“Sweet Merlin preserve us! I’d have bet my socks that they’d have taken things a bit slower than that! After all that boy’s been through, I can’t believe he’d…or that Harry would expect him to…never mind! Tea! I need tea!

Out of sight, out of mind, Arthur was barely able to get the tea ready in a timely fashion. The sound of the shower upstairs was soothing and familiar, and he set out the things Molly would need to make breakfast. A few minutes later, Molly joined him in the kitchen, and it was obvious by her bed robe and hair that it hadn’t been her in the shower. He hoped she hadn’t heard what the lads had been up to! It was their own business if they…well…whatever.

Molly set to making breakfast, and Arthur made himself comfortable with a cup of tea after she gave him his proper kiss good morning. The shower stopped a bit later, then started again a few minutes after that. Draco came limping down the stairs just a little after that, hair slicked back now that it was getting a bit longer, and slightly flushed of face. Arthur maintained a perfectly neutral tone as he cheerily, if somewhat tensely, greeted the young man at the breakfast table.

“Wow. What a way to start the day. I’m already exhausted.”

Arthur’s tremor was only visible if you could see the liquid in his teacup shimmering as he restrained himself from comment. Draco continued, completely oblivious.

“I mean really. Started before the sun was up, and we were at it for more than an hour and a half. We burned a lot of energy. I’m starved!”

Molly handed Draco a plate full of food and complimented him on the glow in his cheeks and his good spirits. Arthur was distracted by the need to stifle himself, and just nodded amiably and smiled, making himself busy with the plate of food Molly had just handed him.

“Harry really pushes hard, but it’s worth it.”

Arthur choked on his eggs.

“Sorry…sorry…little food down the wrong pipe. Just fine…as you were, lad.”

“Oh…okay. Well, anyway…it was harder than I thought, but I think I got the most out of it that I could. I got tired pretty quick, but Harry’s amazing. He just keeps pounding away like it’s nothing. He’s in incredible shape. I hope I can build up my stamina that way soon.”

Arthur suppressed a whimper and winced visibly, nursing his tea. He’d no idea that Draco was comfortable discussing such things at breakfast! Really! What must his parents have been like, for him to be speaking of their…um…activities upstairs, in front of everyone. Still…it was their choice and all. Didn’t want the boys thinking he disapproved or anything. He tucked back into his breakfast as quick as he could.

“You alright?”

Draco had noticed the taut lines of his face no doubt. Curse the luck. Terrible thing being bad at lying. Arthur covered the best he could.

“Sore tooth. Just a twinge. No worries.”

“Oh…okay. Anyhow, Harry’s a real animal. I had no idea he could keep at it so steady for so long. I should have known he had endurance by the way he runs all the time, but I this was the first I time I’ve ever seen him in action. He seems fine, but I’m sore enough to go back to bed for a week! Still, it went pretty good…in my opinion.”

Arthur felt a vein throbbing near his temple. He wolfed down his food as quick as he could, mumbling amicably, hoping Draco assumed his responses were vaguely approving, and he prayed that they didn’t invite further detail. Then Harry came down the stairs in his bathrobe and sat down with a plate of his own.

“Oy. You did great for a first timer, Draco. You’re too hard on yourself. I feel great. You wanna try a few new things in a couple hours?”

“Oh dear! Lookatthetime! Got to be in the office early today! Better hurry!”

Arthur practically leaped from the table and fled up the stairs. Draco and Harry looked quizzically at each other, then at Molly. Harry voiced their concerns.

“What’s eating him? He seems a bit tense for this early in the morning.”

Molly clucked her tongue, shrugging her shoulders helplessly.

“Oh, don’t worry, boys. He’s always been a bit barmy first thing in the morning. I’m just glad your exercises went so well. Best thing for you! That and a good breakfast and the day’s off to a fine start.”

TBC!!!