How They Fell

Chapter Thirty Four


Draco circled the wolf with caution. His eyes followed its every move, his muscles clenched in preparation for swift movement and his tail swished from side to side.

Honestly he didn’t know what had come over him! He knew panthers where meant to be territorial but jumping out on anything just because it happened to walk below the tree that he was currently in was ridiculous, especially when he didn’t even check to see what was posing such a threat. In fact, he thought as he watched the wolf warily, it was down right unnatural. As a panther he was sneaky, he weighed up his options for the best plan, he wasn’t supposed to act this rashly.

He had acted rashly, Draco decided. The wolf was huge, easily bigger than he was, though perhaps not as fast and versatile. It was an opponent that he should never have confronted let alone attacked. Draco felt worry overtake him, there was no way he could easily beat it, any more fighting would leave him significantly damaged and there was no certainty that he would win. What had he started?

The wolf circled him once more, drawing closer to him again. Draco knew that he had to do something quickly to give him the upper hand.

The wolf lunged, teeth snapping. Draco jumped sideways, changing back to his human form and grabbing his wand. He turned and pointed it at the wolf who had changed direction and was now jumping towards him. He was just about to shout a spell and prey that would hit the wolf before the wolf hit him, when the wolf literally fell out of the air.

It landed in a ‘flumpf’ of robes and tousled black hair.

“Draco?” It said.

* * *

‘Shit! It was Potter! How…’

Draco stood stock still as he watched Harry clumsily get to his feet. If he hadn’t have been a Malfoy his mouth would have been hanging open.

But potter wasn’t an animagus, the potion had backfired and nearly killed him. How was this possible?

They stood staring at each other for a moment, each dumbstruck.

Harry was the first to get his voice back.

“You’re an animagus? Since when?” he asked excitedly.

“Um, I…I thought the potion backfired,” replied Draco repeating his last thought.

“I…what?”

“Umm…”

Draco scuffed the ground with his foot; this really wasn’t going to well. Why was it that Harry’s excitement at the fact that he was an animagus made him feel warm inside?

“Ok,” said Harry, shaking his head as though to clear it. “God this is weird!”

Draco nodded vigorously.

“Right,” continued Harry. “Um, why don’t we sit down?”

Draco’s head shot up at that.

“Why?”

“To get this sorted out and understandable, and because I feel the need to sit down.” Harry responded matter-of-factly although slightly weakly, slumping down onto a fallen log.

“Er,” said Draco, feeling that it was a good change from ‘um.’ “Ok.” He looked around for another log, there was only a large stick lying opposite Harry. With a muttered spell Draco transformed it into a squishy footstool.

Harry rolled his eyes at Draco’s fussiness, watching him carefully arrange his robes so that they didn’t touch the floor.

Unfortunately for Draco he took so much care with his robes that when he sat down he found himself directly face to face with Harry, and much closer than he would have liked. Damn it! This was far to close for comfort.

Fortunately the darkness hid most of his and Harry’s faces – at least until Harry lit a small fire just to their left, nicely illuminating them both. Draco was tempted to growl, this wasn’t fair!

“So you’re an animagus?” asked Harry, easily slipping back into their comfortable friendship.

Draco, rolled his eyes, it was just so like Harry. He wondered how Harry would react when he found out that he had been followed. Draco smiled slightly as he answered.

“Yes I am.”

“…”

“…”

“Well?” demanded Harry. “How did you manage to figure it out? I mean the potion’s really hard and the spell…”

“Probably very tricky,” hedged Draco with a nod. “How did you manage it?”

“Oh I would have been stuck without…” Harry cut himself off sharply.

“Without Granger and the Weasel?”

Harry started.

“How..?”

Draco answered with a smirk.

“I followed you,” he said, unable to resist for any longer.

“What?” Harry looked dumfounded. Draco looked very, very smug.

“I followed you. You were standing in a corridor, I was just leaving, er walking through, saw you shout and run off and I followed you.”

“You…”

“Yep!” Draco said in such a way that made Harry want to thump him. “Led me straight to the girl’s bathroom on the second floor.”

“Then – then you already knew?”

Harry’s emotions were stuck halfway between horror and amazement. He had been standing in that corridor for hours and the minute that he turned away Draco came out. But the fact that someone else knew about it filled him with dread. He had been so stupid not to check behind him!

“Well no,” Draco admitted.

“No?”

“I didn’t think it had worked.” Harry looked blank. “You collapsed, I thought you had died.”

“Oh!” Harry sat in silence for a moment worrying about it. “And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“No. At the time if you recall I had no one to tell.”

Draco watched interestedly as Harry visibly relaxed.

“Thank God!”

Draco shot him a questioning look. Harry blushed and briefly Draco was very grateful for the light provided by the fire; a blushing Harry was gorgeous. Quickly he clamped down on his reaction. God he had to get a grip! Why was he even sitting here? He should have made a cold remark and left by now, why was he sitting down explaining himself?

‘Because it felt nice,’ was the obvious answer. For the first time in months he felt the tension that had been slowly building up inside him, wash away. He felt soothed and happy. ‘Shut up!’ He demanded to his inner self, he would not do that! ‘Get a grip!’

He realised that Harry had been speaking.

“…personal. Very personal. If people found out, even just the order…” He looked up at Draco very earnestly. “It’s nice to have something which is just mine, you know? Something which nobody knows about, that’s just mine – my escape.”

Draco nodded, not really understanding but surprised by Harry’s earnest tones.

“I won’t tell anyone,” he promised matching Harry’s seriousness.

Harry smiled slightly, a look which made Draco’s lips twitch with the desire to respond and his stomach feel feather light.

“I know.”

Draco felt happiness move through him, warming him at the idea that Harry had that much trust in him. He would have answered with a smile, had not he suddenly become painfully aware of how little he deserved it.

He had been ignoring Harry for months. He had brutally cut off their friendship. He had been rude and hostile and yet Harry still trusted him with this? Something which obviously meant so much to him. How could Harry have so much trust in him in spite of everything? Why did that mean so much to him?

He suddenly felt the need to apologise for his behaviour, to explain it and make them friends again.

He opened his mouth, but his pride stopped him at the last moment. He would NOT tell Harry his feelings! He had decided against this!

“I, um…How come it did work then?” he asked feeling weak and timid.

“Oh, we’re not sure. The potion was perfect and everything, I mean Hermione made it, of course it was. We decided that it might have been an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients but no one knows.” Harry lied automatically.

“So you followed us, and that’s how you knew about Ron and Hermione and I, but how did you become an animagus? When?” Harry questioned eagerly.

Draco’s cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink.

“That night.”

“You were brewing an animagus potion at the same time as us?” Harry asked looking confused. Draco felt for the first time slightly embarrassed that he had cheated. He hoped Harry wouldn’t mind.

“I…No, - I.” Then in a very quiet voice. “I just drank yours.”

Draco watched nervously as Harry started with surprise.

“You…oh!”

There was a silence.

Draco wanted to fidget but wouldn’t let himself, instead he watched Harry work though what he had said.

“You don’t mind do you?” he asked nervously, annoyed that he was genuinely concerned what the other boy would think.

Harry came out of his trance and smiled.

“No, not really so long as it has made you happy.”

“Oh it has!” Draco enthused, eager to reassure Harry, and then he cut himself off blushing realising how much he had said.

Harry smiled at him again.

“Good!”

Harry honestly felt happy that Draco had drunk his potion, especially as it had made their current situation possible. He was very aware of how nice it felt to just be with Draco again, with Draco being nice again, although slightly diffident. But he was no longer being ignored, they were talking as friends again – that was what mattered. Sitting there like this sharing such personal information made Harry want to smile for some reason. It was nice.

Draco was feeling slightly awkward with the pause on conversation.

“Um, so why are you out here at this time of night?” he asked as a means to break the silence.

“I needed to get out of the castle, go for a run, you know.” Harry replied shrugging. There was a slight pause. “It’s always such a relief, escaping all the tension and frustration and just being yourself. Do you find that?”

Draco nodded mutely, struck by the accuracy of Harry’s description. That was exactly what his transformations did, but he realised with sudden clarity that it had not been working so well for quite a long time. His transformations still relived it a little, but looking back on the term it seemed that he was always tense, always on edge. He briefly wondered why, before realising that Harry was talking to him again.

“How about you? Why are you out here this evening?”

“Pretty much the same reasons.”

Harry nodded, understanding. There was a pause and Draco became aware, for the first time, of the forest and the night around them. The clear, starlit sky made the night fresh and cool, with a breeze which ruffled the branches of the trees surrounding them creating a pleasant whispering. Without the fire it would be very cold and very dark, he was glad that Harry had lit it.

His attention turned back to Harry and Draco watched as a look of confusion spread over his face.

“Then why did you attack me?”

Draco started trying to answer, but found that he was unable to come up with a simple reason.

Harry watched as Draco frowned, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows.

“I don’t know. For quite a while I’ve found that the transformations don’t really relax me anymore. I guess I’ve been quite tense and,” he paused realising that he was burbling, just like before, he was pouring out his feelings to Potter. He reigned himself in slightly.

“I don’t know.” He thought back to the moments before he pounced. “I smelled something, at first I thought it was just the scent of an ordinary wolf, but then it had a – a quality that wasn’t wolf-like and it just made me angry, furious even and I pounced on you without even thinking.”

Harry pulled a face.

“That’s weird.”

“Why?”

Harry looked up at Draco with that disarming gaze which made Draco want to permanently destroy his glasses.

“It’s just that I could smell you.” Draco started with surprise. “And it did have an edge to it that wasn’t normal. But I didn’t recognise it as I didn’t know what a panther smelled like in the first place.”

“Did it make you angry?”

“No,” said Harry simply. “Just curious.”

“Oh,” Draco replied dully, unsure why he had had such a different reaction.

“Ah!” cried Harry. “So that’s how Crockshanks did it, she could smell the difference and unlike other animals was clever enough to know that it meant that something was wrong!”

“What?” Draco asked, utterly perplexed.

“Oh! It’s…” But his face closed up and lost its vigour. “It doesn’t really matter.” Harry said, shaking it off but looking unhappy.

Draco knew that it did but he wasn’t about to question it as Harry had shifted positions slightly in his excitement and Draco could now see three scratches across his arm.

He leant forward.

“You’re hurt,” he asserted concern in his voice. “I scratched you.”

Harry twisted his arm so that he could see. The marks weren’t deep and the blood was already clotting on the surface, but they were quite long. For the first time Harry realised that his body was aching, and that his fight with Draco had actually resulted in some relatively serious damage.

“I hadn’t noticed,” he answered truthfully, tentatively feeling other sore patches.

Then his head snapped up and his eyes scanned over Draco.

“You’re hurt too,” he said leaning forward, his arm out towards the scratches he could see on Draco.

Draco swallowed as Harry gently brushed his fingers over his neck. It made his skin tingle and his head empty of clear thoughts.

He winced a bit as he felt Harry’s nails pull slightly on a half clotted scab.

Harry moved forward suddenly to kneel on the ground between them in order to see the wound more clearly. He hissed in sympathy, carefully moving Draco’s hair out of the way.

“Is it bad?” Draco asked and tilted his head, extending his neck to help Potter inspect it.

“I don’t think so, but it might be infected, you should go to Madam Pomfrey tomorrow morning.”

Then there was a pause as Harry’s fingers continued to softly explore Draco’s neck.

“No, it should be fine,” Harry murmured close to Draco’s ear.

He pulled back slightly and both were surprised to find how close they were to each other.

Then there was a moment’s pause were their breath mingled in the air between them and the night breeze rustled through the branches overhead.

Then, impulsively Harry leant forward and brushed his lips against Draco’s.

It shocked both of them. Draco froze and Harry made to pull back, a blush already upon his cheeks. But the action caused his mouth to bump softly with Draco’s in a way that made his stomach twist in excitement and his mouth crave for more.

Draco felt like he was in a moment of unreality. His whole body surged with excitement, quivering gently in this fantasy that he had longed for.

Their mouths softly open their lips bumped and brushed together. Tingles seemed to spread from one body to the other; small electric sparks which amazed both of them and left them breathless.

Their body’s moved closer together. Their hands travelled over each other to clutch and cling needily to arms and sides and backs, pulling them closer still.

They bathed in each other. Their rational minds suspended as tongues tenderly met and slid over and around each other.

But the delight of the moment caused Harry to clutch at Draco’s neck too strongly making Draco tear his mouth away with a gasp.

They looked at each other confused and shocked. Then their actions began to sink in.

“I – I,” began Harry, but stopped.

Draco hung his head in his hands, horrified with himself.

He had kissed Potter.

He had told himself that he would never ever do that. That he would never so much as touch the other man. But here he was, and he had enjoyed it. Enjoyed it so much that he didn’t think about it, he just lost himself in it.

Harry heard Draco’s shaky breaths and felt appalled with himself.

“I’m sorry Draco. So sorry,” he managed to say, voice husky with regret. “I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me, I’ve never thought of you like that, I-.” Realising he was burbling he cut himself off.

But Draco was still sitting their shrunk into himself as though he hadn’t heard a word.

Feeling the need to connect with the other man, Harry gripped his arm. “I’m sorry Draco.” He reiterated.

“Don’t touch me!” cried Draco, exploding to his feet, pushing Harry’s arm away and moving as far away as the small clearing allowed.

Harry fell backwards onto the forest floor, his arm stopping his fall. But his eyes followed Draco’s movements with concern.

“What’s the matter?” He questioned, worried.

“I-,” began Draco, but then he made the mistake of turning around and looking at Harry who was sitting carelessly on the ground where he had fallen, looking up at him disarmingly and with so much care in his eyes.

It was that which undid Draco.

He had seen that look in Harry’s eyes before as he rejected him and pushed him away the first time; and a part of him knew that he just couldn’t do that again. And that made him want to laugh idiotically from the irony of it all. Despite his own wishes, his own feelings, he just couldn’t hurt Harry like that again. Because hurting Harry hurt him.

He laughed bitterly as he paced backwards and forwards.

“I can’t do this, Potter!” he practically spat.

Harry alarmed disentangled himself and stepped forward, arm outstretched to comfort Malfoy but his progress was stopped by a single look.

Harry tried again.

“You don’t have to worry, Draco! I won’t do that again! It will all be fine.”

Draco laughed again. It sounded harsh and slightly hysterical to Harry.

“No Potter. I. Can’t. Do. This! This friendship thing! With you. Can’t do it! Can’t be close to you like this.”

Harry felt as though he was being chocked by the words which were coming out of Draco’s mouth.

“It’s too much, I can’t control it! Do you understand that Potter? I can’t control it, can’t control myself!” He ranted, the denied feelings of the past months surging up to his mouth. “I’m a Malfoy! That’s what we do! We control! And you make me lose that. I find myself talking! Telling you my feelings! My secrets! I can’t do it! I won’t do it! It’s too much! Do you understand? It’s too much for me, I don’t understand it!”

Harry sat stunned at the outpouring, seeing for the first time a Draco without barriers, unguarded and open.

Draco’s harsh laughter was interrupted by a slight sob.

“And do you know what the worst thing is Potter?” another, rather hysterical laugh. “I want it! Ha! I want this!” a pause. “What was it two, three weeks? And I missed it Potter! Friends I had for seven years I didn’t miss! But I missed you after three weeks! How is that fair! How is it right that I, I a Malfoy, should like you? Should want you to kiss me like you did? Should want to loose control? Should…should…” He clutched the bridge of his nose with a hand that trembled. “It’s wrong! Wrong! And…” a high pitched laugh. “And here I go again, telling you all about it! All the things that I promised myself I wouldn’t tell you!”

Harry felt frozen still with surprise. Looking at Draco pacing back and forth dumbly.

“That’s – that’s why,” he whispered softly, half under his breath. “Why you wouldn’t speak to me. Why you ignored me?”

Draco turned sharply away.

Harry felt breathless with all that he had heard.

“I…you – you like me? Like that?”

Draco spluttered indignantly.

“I, wow! …Um…” He sat back down on the log, once more feeling totally out of his depth. But his eyes continued to watch Draco.

He was amazed, beyond amazed, that Draco felt like that. It was so completely unexpected, so flattering that he could like him in spite of everything, all their enmity, all their petty squabbling. Suddenly Harry felt warmed right through, a small smile pulled on his lips and without thought he stood up and made his way over to Draco.

He grabbed him by the shoulders and swung him around to face him. Draco tried to struggle, completely unwilling to be in this situation.

“Let me go, Potter!” he snarled, furious as a caged tiger.

“No!” Harry snapped back. “I need to see something!”

Once more he leant in to kiss Draco, but this time he brought their lips together firmly, determinedly.

Draco stilled as Harry’s lips began to press and move against his. Then Harry’s hand moved to the back of his head and twisted in his hair and he automatically started to kiss back. It was such a relief to give in to what he had wanted for all this time, it was glorious to bask in the feeling and the taste and the everything of Harry.

His arms closed around the other man as Harry’s tongue flicked against his lip, then he was inside his mouth, brushing and pressing and exploring and Draco was completely lost.

Gently Harry pulled back, his green eyes sparkling in the darkness as Draco sank into them. He felt his shoulders drop and relax, felt his body finally lose all of the tension and stress that it had been lugging around. God it was marvellous to just stand like this!

Harry smiled slowly and reached up to push a strand of hair out of Draco’s eyes. He looked tender and soft and quietly happy to Draco.

They stood like that for a while longer, both unsure of what they should do or what should be said.

Eventually Harry timidly wound his fingers through Draco’s.

“We should go back to the castle. It will be morning in a few hours.”

“I know.” Draco replied finding his voice thick and cracking.

Slowly Harry turned and put out the fire. He cast a Lumos, squeezed Draco’s hand and they made their way back to the castle.

***********
Author’s note: *grins ecstatically* Just to say that this chapter is dedicated to all you lovely people who keep reading and reviewing this story…thank you! And especially to Jesse, Anon, Amessis, Bookworm51485, Draven Wolfe, vibora and Mew Mew2 to name just a few – your reviews never fail to keep me smiling.