Angelica's Sorrow

A/N - I want to thank all of your wonderful people for taking the time to stroke my ego. I know the posting pace has slowed, but RL has crept back and thrown its own curves into the path. Hope to do better.





CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

\'Don\'t like the way she\'s looking at me. Good thing there are witnesses. Maybe shouldn\'t have said anything yet.\'

\"How dare you.\" Hermione\'s eyes were ablaze, but the frigid tone was an avalanche of ice and snow. \"I have to wonder how much this sudden love youe foe for me is actually a desperate ploy.\"

\"I don\'t understand. I really do love you.\" Harry was totally bewildered.

\"I accept that you love me, but are you actually in love with me? There\'s a big difference and I wonder if this isn\'t something to keep me in your little corner of the world. We all lost Ron, Harry. It didn\'t only happen to you.\"

\"He doesn\'t have anything to do with this.\"

\"Doesn\'t he? I think he has a great deal to do with it. Ron and I broke up almost two years ago. Where has this declaration of love been all that time? I think you\'re just afraid and you don\'t want to admit it.\"

\"Afraid of what? After what we went through, how can you think I\'m afraid of anything?\"

\"Oh, yes. The great and wonderful Harry Potter,\" she said as sarcastically as she could. The hurt look he leveled in her direction almost made her change tacics, but he had to snap out of idi idiocy.

\"You forget, I\'ve know you since you were a short, skinny eleven year old with broken glasses. Don\'t try and pull thachoacho garbage on me. I am your friend. I will always be your friend. Nothing, other than your own stupidity, will ever change that.\"

\"I want more than friendship with you, Hermione. I want a home and maybe someday a family.\"

\"That is a very honorable and worthwhile goal, but it\'s not going to happen with me. You have to get back to reality. I\'m not a medi-witch, but I think I know what\'s going on. Your parents were murdered when you were a baby. You lost Sirius when you were what - fifteen, maybe sixteen? Ron, Charlie and Hagrid all died this last spring. It doesn\'t take very much to connect the dots.\"

\"How many times do I have to tell you, no one else has anything to do with how I feel about you.\"

She gazed steadily into his eyes and said, \"I think you\'ve talked yourself into being in love with me to ensure that I don\'t slip away like they did. If you somehow managed to persuade me to marry you, there would be no guarantee that I wouldn\'t die. I could get hit by a vehicle in Muggle London while crossing the street. Women do still die in childbirth. People are fragile creatures and things happen. There are no guarantees anywhere that will help you with this, Harry.\"

Hermione reached across the table and took his hand in hers. He simply held it while looking hopefully at her.

\"Tell me what you felt when I took your hand.\"

\"Your hand, soft but with a few callouses, probably from making potions.\"

\"Nothing else?\"

\"What do you want me to say?\"

\"The truth.\"

\"Your hand is warm.\"

She withdrew her hand and smiled sadly. \"That\'s what a friend feels when a friend takes your hand. I know this will sound trite, but if you were truly in love with me you would feel so much more. Your pulse might quicken a little, or maybe you\'d be a little short of breath. You probably wouldn\'t be able to stop yourself from stroking it. Soon just holding a hand wouldn\'t be enough.\"

\"Is that what you feel with him?\" he asked bitterly.

\"Yes, it is and I can\'t give that up. When you find the person who tilts your world slightly out of kilter, you\'ll know what I\'m talking about.\"

\"I haven\'t found anyone that even comes close to what I feel for you.\"

\"Have you given them a chance? I know a number of women in your classes have been ogling you for months.\"

\"What - who told you that?\"

\"It doesn\'t matter who told me. There\'s a certain dark haired young lady by the name of Sarah Matthews who has tried and tried to get your attention during your Friday night outings.\"

\"Sarah? And me? No way.\"

\"Is she ugly?\"

\"No, she\'s very pretty,\" he stated, indignant on her behalf.

\"Is she currently involved with anyone?\"

\"Not that I know of, but she\'s just not you.\"

\"Thank goodness for that. For pity\'s sake, get to know her a little better. She\'s obviously smart if she\'s going to be an Auror. Take her to dinner and go dancing. At the very least you\'ll have an enjoyable evening with someone new. Date her for a while, see where it goes.\"

\"You didn\'t do that with Snape.\"

\"No, I didn\'t. Our situation was a little different.\"

\"Is he the reason you broke up with Ron?\" he asked, fixing her with a fierce gaze.

\"No, he isn\'t. I - it\'s hard to explain. Ron and I just weren\'t right for each other. He always talked about wanting a big family and you already know how I feel about that. It took me at least six months to work up the courage to start breaking up with Ron. If anyone had told me that I would fall in love with Severus I would have personally escorted them to St. Mungo\'s. I started thinking differently about him when I was tutoring the other students. When he\'s not enforcing rules or trying to keep students from blowing each other up, he\'s quite different. His sense of humor is amazing.\"

\"I think you\'ve inhaled too many potion fumes, Hermione. There is no way that man has a sense of humor.\"

\"It\ot lot like yours, or Fred\'s, thank goodness. His is more subtle, sarcastic at times, but it is there. You could call it dry.\"

\"So dry it blew away a long time ago and you never noticed,\" he said, shortly.

\"That would be the type of comment he might make,\" she commented, smiling.

\"Now you\'re trying to tell me we have something in common?\"

\"Mohan han you might think,\" she said,nkinnking of the guilt Angelica had hinted he felt concerning Ron.

\"Why him?\"

\"Why not?\"

\"For one thing, he\'s too damned old for you. He\'s what 45 or 50?\"

\"What difference does it make how old he is? This is the second time you\'ve mentioned it. If it doesn\'t matter to me, why should it matter to you? I happen to know a witch and wizard that have at least 40 maybe 50 years difference in their ages and they have been together for at least 50 years.\"

\"How do your parents feel about the age difference and the fact he was your professor?\"

\"I haven\'t told them anything about him, yet. We haven\'t gotten to the meet the parents stage.\"

He snorted and said, \"You\'re afraid to tell them. They\'ll have a fit, won\'t they?\"

\"Actually, that\'s the least of my concerns. I really don\'t think they\'ll have as much to say about it as you seem to. These last few months have forced them to realize that I\'m all grown up, Harry. I am in charge of my life, not them.\"

\"He\'s just plain mean, Hermione. How can you stand him?\"

\"I admit he is rather strict with the students, but so am I. You have to understand he is a very private, very controlled individual. Not many people get close to him. Those that do manage the feat are quite lucky. I have some final advice for you, Mr. Potter. Drop the silly prejudices we had as students, as children and see the man for what and who he really is.\" With this final speech, she rose from the table, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and left without a backward glance.

Harry sat in stunned silence, mulling the surprising turns their conversation had taken. He watched as their breakfasts finished congealing, mostly untouched by either party. A considerable amount of time passed while he drank the last of the tea.

\'Maybe she\'s right. Don\'t feel particularly sad or broken hearted. Medi-witches said could be a bit numb for awhile, that\'s probably it. Merlin\'s robe, Snape of all people! Sense of humor, my arse. Probably would think it funny if old Voldie had managed to pull it off. Wouldn\'t put it past him.\'

Rosmerta approached the table, a frown on her face. \"Is there something wrong with the food? Neither one of you ate more than a few bites.\"

\"No, nothing like that. We just didn\'t have much of an appetite after all. You can take it away if you like.\"

\"Would you like some more tea?\"

\"Too early for fire whiskey, I suppose?\" he asked, with an engaging grin on his face.

\"Afraid so.\"

\"Then I guess I\'ll settle for more tea.\"

\"I\'ll be right back,\" she said, picking up their plates and leaving.

\'What\'s wrong with wanting stability? Life\'s been a giant roller coaster for - forever. First bit of comfort was Ron, Hermione and life at Hogwarts. Got me through bad times. Ron. Miss you so much. Why did you do it? Can\'t hardly stand doing the things we planned to do together. You and me at Auror school. Now, only me. Gods, starting to sound like a ninny and it\'s all your fault.\'

\"Here you go, Harry. Anything else?\" Rosmerta asked as she replaced the cold tea pot with a fresh hot one.

\"No, thanks. I\'ll to to be leaving soon. Have an appointment at ten.\"

\"Hate to tell you this, but it\'s a quarter till now.\"

\"Guess I\'ve been sitting here longer than I thought. Thanks,\" he said, standing and pressing a number of coins into her hand.

\"Come back soon. It\'s been too long.\"

\"I think I will,\" he vowed, striding toward the door. \"There are a lot of good memories here that I don\'t want to forget.\"

is mis musings continued as he ambled towards Hogwarts.

\'Dumbledore won\'t mind if I\'m a few minutes late. Hermione - with Snape. Don\'t like it. Have to do something, but what? Cut me out of her life for sure if she catches on. Have to wait a bit, make \'friends\' with the lecherous old bat. Gods, what does she see in him? Hmm, Sarah. Could date her a few times to throw Hermione off. Might work, could make her jealous. Have to make sure Sarah doesn\'t get the wrong idea.\'

With a new plan in mind his morose outlook lifted considerably and his pace increased accordingly. The main gates were open and he passed through, trying not to see Hagrid\'s hut.

\'Guess it\'s actually Grubbly-Plank\'s now. Bet it\'s all changed inside. Castle looks good. Definitely a lot better than the last time I saw it.\'

He noted the gates slowly closing. \'Apparently Dumbledore hasn\'t lost his touch. Never could get much past him. Wonder how he feels about them being together? She said the staff knew, but he can\'t possibly approvi>\'i>\'

Feeling smug he bounced up the steps and opened the door. Not seeing anyone he proceeded directly to Dumbledore\'s office guardian. The realization he didn\'t have the password stopped him short.

\"I don\'t suppose the fact he\'s expecting me will make a difference, will it?\" he asked, looking directly into its eyes.

To his astonishment it opened and the staircase began its ascent. He stepped on and rode to the top. Knocking on the door he waited and heard, \"Come in, Harry.\"

\'Thank goodness some things never change.\' he reflected, opening the door.

\"Headmaster. It\'s wonderful to see you looking so well.\"

\"I might say the same. You look quite robust for an Auror in training. Please, have a seat,\" Albus said, from one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. \"You really must call me Albus now.\"

\"Well, it\'s not Hogwarts, but they treat us decently,\" he stated as he sat down. \"I\'ll try, but forgive me if I slip?\"

\"Consider yourself forgiven in advance. I\'m sure you\'re curious as to why I requested your presence.\"

\"Yes.\"

\"Something has arisen in connection to the Chamber, Harry. You are the only one who can assist us with the current situation. Another \'room\' has been discovered, but the entrance is sealed. It appears the use of Parsel Tongue is the only way to gain access.\"

\"I thought you had thoroughly examined all the rooms a long time ago.\"

\"This one was cleverly sequestered from normal observation. Are you willing to assist us?\"

\"Sure, Prof - Albus. I don\'t see a problem.\"

\"I will have to ask you to keep anything you see or hear in strictest confidence.\"

\"Who knows about this?\"

\"Myself, Severus and now you.\"

\"Snape? Snape is involved in this?\"

\"He is the one who discovered the entrance, Harry.\"

\"What was he doing down there?\"

\"He spent the majority of his summer in a room off the chamber working on a solution for Voldemort\'s last curse.\"

\"I thought you did that.\"

\"The vast majority of the work was done by Severus. I merely examined the memory he located. He put himself at great risk, yet again. Not that he will ever admit it, of course. We were all quite worried about him. Mr. Weasley\'s sacrifice was almost rendered futile.\"

\"I heard about that,\" Harry said, shifting uneasily in his chair. The last thing he wanted to hear was more praise heaped upon his rival.

\'Have to keep my plans to myself. Doesn\'t appear to be upset with Snape at all.\'