Sub Rosa

A/N - strong language warning in this chapter, of course if you are under 17 and have read this far, then shame on you!


Chapter 32 – A Desperate Plan

Kathryn sat in Albus’ office feeling like she had been punched and hating herself for it. She forced her own pain away and went to Severus, whose face was so empty and mask-like it hurt to look at him. As she moved to him, he braced himself for a blow and she realized just how badly off he was. She leaned against him, slipping her arms around his waist and he buried his face in her hair and clung hard to her.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. She just burrowed in closer for she had no words of comfort for him.

Albus sat quietly at his desk, while they embraced. When at last she released Severus and stepped away from him, he cleared his throat softly.

“There are ways to avoid to producing a child, Severus.” Albus commented.

“I thougf thf that, but Voldemort will expect me to keep trying until there is a success. I might be able to bring myself to bed that crazed bitch once Albus, but I don’t think I could survive multiple attempts.” His voice was ragged and he began pacing around the room.

“I know Bellatrix, she’s a sadistic animal. I try to stay ten feet from her at all times.” He was scared; she could see it in the way his shoulders hunched. The thought of him getting physically hurt began to dawnher her mind. “Lestrange got drunk one night and boasted about her sexual habits, I couldn’t eat for days afterwards.”

“Polyjuice potion?” Kathryn suggested.

“Who would be willinesidesides, it only lasts an hour.” Severus smiled sadly, but dismissed her suggestion.

“A simulacra has its own limitations as well.” Albus said thoughtfully and popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

“Artificial insemination?” Kathryn was grasping at straws, but at least it made Severus laugh. It was a bitter sounding thing, but it was a laugh nonetheless.

“I’d do that in a heartbeat, especially if I could get someone else to provide the seed.” His voice was harsh, as the thought of blending his blood with hers was deeply disturbing to him.

“What an excellent idea.” Albus stood abruptly and walked over to Severus. “You will need to go to Azkaban and visit Lestrange.” Severus got a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“What about paternity spells?” Kathryn felt obligated to find every hole, the plan needed to be perfect.

“I doubt Voldemort will think to check, I gave in gracefully.” Severus was thinking quickly, his dark eyes turned inward.

“There are spells that can make the child seem to be Severus’ should it be necessary.” Albus waved away that objection.

“What about Bellatrix?” sai said, thinking furiously.

“Dream Lover Potion.” Severus disposed of that one. It was a good idea; she would imagine herself having whatever type of sex she desired with him. The potion gave the drinker a fantasy in three dimensions, working on the senses and the pleasure centers of the brain. It was addictive and highly illegal. Kathryn began to laugh as a sudden thought hit her.

“What?” Severus asked with puzzled look.

“More proof for Narcissa that I wasn’t lying about your prowess in bed.” The two men looked at her blankly for a moment and then began to chuckle. Her laughter was mostly hysteria and they both knew it. She sobered abruptly. “Just make sure that she doesn’t fall in love with you.” It was a common side affect of the potion.

“I will modify the potion to a lower potency, she should have a pleasant memory, but no lasting interest.” Severus’s pale face showed how very much even the impression of intimacy with Bellatrix made him ill.

“How will you get the material from Mr. Lestrange?” She asked them.

“An enchanted item, which I shall lend to Severus.” Albus replied. Severus ruffled his hair and sank into his seat.

“Very well.” Kathryn nodded, hoping she had thought of everything. A thought wandered through her mind and she spoke before thinking. s jus just hope He doesn’t like to watch.” Severus turned white, then green and fled the room.

Albus gave her a look and she shrugged sheepishly in return.

The next week was nerve-wracking fhem,hem, Severus went to Azkaban to visit Lestrange, he would tell Voldemort, if asked, that he was going there to test Lestrange’s reaction to the situation, to be sure his loyalty would not waver. He returned with a charmed flask that he was careful to keep in its protective bag.

Kathryn carefully did not ask about the item or how exactly it functioned. She suspected that her inner Auror was better off not knowing. Plausible deniability was a wonderful thing.

The night he was to go to Bellatrix he was shaking and nauseous. Kathryn made dinner for him, as he could not face the great hall.

“If He is there, all our planning will be for naught.” Severus buried his face in his hands.

“You will do what you have to, Severus.” She replied softly. He looked up at her, dread etched onto his features.

“She is sick, perverted…”

“This isn’t fun for her, Severus, it’s duty. She will no doubt just want it over as fast as possible.” She reassured him, hoping her estimation of Bellatrix’s personality was accurate. Her files were uncomfortable reading, but she’d really only gotten ill when she got to the autopsy photos. “She will also not risk injuring a fellow Death Eater, she knows she will not be able to fight while pregnant, she needs someone she believes to be as loyal as she is at His side.” The logic of her assertion was undeniable, but the fact remained that Bellatrix was difficult to predict. She was just crazy enough to do the unexpected, but sane enough to occasionally do the intelligent thing.

“Gods, I hope so. Rollins’ screams still give me nightmares.” She didn’t ask. She had seen the autopsy report and that was more than enough to play a feature role in anyone’s bad dreams.

“Be the snarky potions master. Play the loyal Death Eater and snarl at her if she wants to play. Hell, put her under “Imperious” if you have to.” Kathryn was worried about him. He mustn’t lose his nerve here. “Besides, odds are that Moldy’s got better things to do then watch the two of you.” She tried to sound assured and calm, she was pretty sure she had succeeded.

“Kathryn, if we end up seeing each other after this year is up…” She looked at him in amazement, for he had never spoken of a future beyond this year for them. “…Do you think you could stand the fact that I might have a bastard child to raise?” She watched his trembling hands and realization washed over her. He was even more concerned about the realities of a child in his life, whether it was his or not, than even the thought of being subjected to whatever tortures Bella might inflict on him.

“Severus, I will never judge a child for its parentage, much less if that child is yours. I would never reject either you or it.” She forced his chin up so that their eyes met. “Never.” He relaxed as she spoke, eyes becoming more focused and less panicked.

“You won’t hate me if I have to do this thing tonight?”

“Severus, I have had to sleep with men to get information from them. How could I hate you for doing your job?” He gave her a sad smile and she returned it. She had been a spy a long time, these things happened.

Looking at Severus though, she wondered if she would be able to do it in the future. She really loved this man and the thought of sleeping with someone other than him made her feel uncomfortable. She wondered if she was ruined for that sort of fieldwork. At least Madame Chanel, unlike Voldemort, would give her a choice.

When he finally rose, She stood and held him tightly for a long moment before she could release him to go.