Dirty deeds

25 January (Saturday)

Very tired from snivelling last night so slept late. Emotional turmoil is very draining. Shall avoid it as much as possible in future. Severus needs to realise that if he does this to me again, flaying will be too good for him. By the sounds of it though he is suffering almost as much as I could hope for.

Had breakfast in bed as was playing weak heroine and couldn’t face the Malfoys over the breakfast table. Was listening to some opera when Harry came to see me. Took me some time to realise why he was looking so worried. He thought that listening to Madam Butterfly was a sign I was considering suicide.

Daft sod.

Murder maybe.

Pointed out that whilst thought the music was brilliant, was less than impressed with the plot. If I had been Butterfly I would either have poisoned the new Mrs Pinkerton, had Pinkerton done for bigamy, or sold them the kiddy for an awful lot of money. What I wouldn’t have done is stab myself in the stomach with a big sword and let the bastard get away with it.

Reminded Harry of these views – often trotted out at dinner parties, annoys the hell out of the opera buffs. He seemed a little more relaxed that not in any imminent danger of hurling self through window.

He’s never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, bless him. Girls still a complete mystery to him. In fact often wonder if that is the reason he picked Draco. Though not sure he is the easiest boy to understand, at least you aren’t supposed to understand him. Can therefore explain away fact misunderstood him as being due to his slytherin cunning and mystery. Draco’s ego flattered as a consequence - result lots of hot sex.

Was coaxed downstairs for lunch. Bit subdued really. Oddly enough wasn’t finding appetite gone and managed to eat substantial quantities of a very nice stew. Need to keep strength up in order to deal with Severus.

Sequestered self in library to work through some of Lucius’s more exciting books. Dark Arts I mean, not the sexy ones. For some reason not in the mood for that kind of thing. Lip qued wed when saw sofa, but refrained from full on snivelling fit. Memories of that first evening came flooding back. He’d been so surprised when I had said we should try it in a bed next time; I hoped it was something as simple as cold feet. I just needed to get to tal him him to sort it out. Settled down and began working on a way to get past Hogwarts wards.

Dobby’s report turned up at 4pm. Harry brought it through to me.

Couldn’t read it at first. Nothing to do with nerves, merely his handwriting was appalling as was his spelling. I may have taught Dobby to read and write, but no one said it had been entirely successful. Some people thought that I would go back to Hogwarts as a teacher but never had the patience for it.

Dobby’s letter read:

Deer Harry Potter

I has bin keeping wotch on Prufessor Snape like you was asking mee too. It has bin veery difficult. He staze in his chambers a lott and he won’t let us house elveses in too cleen. I used the invisisibility cloke that you lefted mee and I found that there was lotz of empty bockles in his room. He seemz to has bin drinking lotz and lotz.

He is fallings asleeps still in his clotheses, and waz clutchings a big wite bowl. It looked likes a penseev like the one the Headmaster haz.

I hopes that this infurmaytion helpz. I hopez that youse and your Wheezy are well.

Your obedient servant,

Dobby House-elf.


So all the evidence was in. Dumbledore was definitely lying to me about Severus’s whereabouts. (Knew that but note to self – look for beard destroying charms). Severus was alternating between terrifying his students – if including Slytherins was obviously in a very bad way - and holing up in his rooms, drinking lotz and lotz and relieving happier times in our pensieve.

Don’t know what is going on but clear that the silly sod is heartbroken at ending of relationship, therefore v short conversation all that likely to be needed to persuade him to be re-engaged. Although as far as I am concerned I haven’t accepted breaking up and therefore we still are engaged.


Therefore order of business as I see it is to get past Hogwarts wards. Track him down, pin him to the bed, find out what the problem is, sort it out, shout at him a bit for being a prat, shag him senseless, sorry that should be kiss and make-up, then shag him senseless.

Obviously I will hold this over his head for the rest of his life in any future arguments. Should be good for getting my own way for an awfully long time to come.

Go to dinner in much more cheerful frame of mind.

Evening was spent researching beard charms. Also restraining charms – stupefy going to be no good as need Severus to be conscious to be harangued – but suspect that silly sod so determined to be miserable that merely talking to him isn’t going to be enough. Have to make sure that he stays still long enough to hear what I am saying. Could take long the handcuffs I suppose, would keep him still, and might bring back some happy memories. Although the way he is playing with the pensieve the last thing he needs is to have happy memories being brought back.

Also sorted out four ways to get past the Hogwarts wards.

Just a question of what to do about it and when.

Gather that another council of war to be called tomorrow. May need some help to get some of the things I need.