Scarred Souls

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Title: Scarred Souls



Author: Misty Moonlight/Co-author: QueenBoadicea



Beta: QueenBoadicea



Pairings: Severus/Harry



Published: 12/10/2008



Summary: A widowed Harry must bond with Snape in order to save his daughter’s life. Sev gains a family, for better or worse, and the hearts of two scarred souls will be changed forever.



Warnings: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Reality/Universe, Sexual Situations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Anal, Language, Humor, possible MPreg, Bonding, Original Characters, Family, non-canon, OOC, WIP



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Chapter 33: A Special Day





“Ready, Lily?” Harry whispered. His daughter was a touch sleepy from her meal. That was good. She was less likely to squirm. He didn’t know what would happen if you let go of a baby into a Pensieve. But he was betting it wouldn’t be good. He gently pulled the toy lion from her grip and Banished it to her crib.



He took a deep breath and plunged their heads into the shimmering material in the bowl.



********************************************************************



James and Albus couldn’t really do much to help in Severus’s lab. But they were curious about everything they saw and Severus was very busy keeping them occupied.



Finally, he decided they were sufficiently relaxed to let down their guard. Casually, he asked, “I wish your father had been as enthusiastic about potions as you two.”



“Daddy said he couldn’t learn with you. You were always bewhittling him,” Albus said as he eyed a glass jar. The thing inside it wiggled whenever he tapped the glass.



“That’s belittling,” Severus said flatly. “And stop playing with that. You don’t want it to break out of the glass and attack you, do you?” Albus snatched his hand back with a frightened expression.



“What’s that mean?” James asked, looking up from the ladle he was polishing.



“It means to make light of someone’s efforts.” Had he spent the time demeaning Harry, making him feel small? He’d been trying to get the boy to learn, blast it! Still, he had been harsh on Gryffindors. Hermione Granger had done well in his class and he had retaliated by ignoring her abilities.



Here was a chance to amend matters somewhat. “I had been hoping Harry would be as good at potions as his mother,” he murmured, watching them carefully. He didn’t know what Harry told them about Severus’s relationship with Lily Evans, if anything. Here was a chance to find out.



“Was she really good at potions?” Albus asked, his attention finally taken from the wiggler.



“She was. She was a gorgeous red-haired witch, much like your little sister. But tell me, why was your father so upset earlier?”



James dropped the ladle he was holding. Albus looked miserable, the green eyes filling with tears. He began to sob quietly and James grabbed the ladle from the floor and resumed polishing it, furiously, as if ashamed at his inability to comfort his brother.



Severus hovered, at a loss at what to do. He walked over to Albus and patted him awkwardly on the head. “There, there.”



Albus wrapped his arms tight about Severus’s knees. “I-I miss my Mummy,” he whimpered.



“Do you? Why today of all days?” he murmured, trying to make sense of all this.



“It was Mummy’s birthday today,” James mumbled. He sounded muffled as though he were speaking through cotton. He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve before rubbing the polishing cloth hard over the ladle like he wanted to remove the finish.



Merlin. Today was Ginevra Potter’s birthday.



This explained everything: Harry’s despondency, his near-refusal to go out today; his indifference towards the twins and his baffling anger when James had asked about cake.



Why hadn’t Harry said anything to him? He thought back to Harry’s behavior this morning. Damnation. They man had probably wanted to tell him but Severus had ridden roughshod over his protestations because he’d been so fixated on getting his potions.



That nasty emotion, shame, bit at him again. It was doing that quite a lot lately.



Severus considered these things while he alternately patted Albus on the head, rubbed his back and muttered rambling syllables of comfort. Surprisingly, it seemed to work. Albus’s sobs died away to gulps and then to sniffles. He drew back from Severus, wiping his nose on his arm.



“I’m sowwy,” he mumbled, his voice still thick with tears.



“It’s quite all right. Your mother was a good woman. It’s natural to mourn, especially someone that you loved dearly.”



James had stopped fiddling with the ladle. He was staring into his lap.



Severus cast about in his mind for anything that he might do for these little lost boys. He mutely directed Albus over to his workbench and sat down beside him. “James, come here.”



The boy snuck a peek at him from under his bangs. He hesitated and then, still holding the ladle, shuffled over to where Severus sat with his arm around his younger brother. He perched uncertainly at Severus’s other side and the man embraced them both.



“Let me tell you about your grandmother, Lily Evans.”



“Daddy’s mum?” Albus asked, wide-eyed.



“Yes. You see, I knew her when she was a girl only a few years older than you two.”



James perked up. “Really?”



“Really. I used to see her floating flowers while her sister Petunia would scold her and tell her not to do magic out of doors where anyone could see her.”



“Great-Aunt Tuney?” James asked.



Severus’s eyebrows rose. “She lets you call her that?”



The boy grinned, his earlier misery forgotten. “No, she hates it.”



She would. “Well, your grandmother was the prettiest girl I had ever seen, with bright-red hair that had gold highlights when the sun would hit it…”



For years, it had been deeply painful even to think about Lily Evans and Severus had refused to talk about her to anyone except Dumbledore. He hadn’t even discussed her with her son. But now, in the stillness of the Black dungeon, he gathered together her two grandsons and told them about their maternal grandmother: her laughter, her warmth, her smile, her sense of mischief and her undeniable courage.



Would he have been happier to have her sorted into Slytherin? Perhaps. But a Slytherin Lily wouldn’t have had the courage to befriend him in public. As a Slytherin, she might have fallen prey to Lucius Malfoy’s advances, although he would never have married her. Malfoys seemed to marry none but other blonds. No matter how undeniably beautiful Lily was, Malfoy would have trifled with her and then left her for Narcissa.



He didn’t talk about that. Severus only spoke of the halcyon days he’d spent with his beloved childhood friend.



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“Look, Lily. There’s Mummy.” Harry pointed at the redheaded teenage girl. With a solemn expression, Lily watched the image of her deceased mother.



Harry held Lily in his arms while he watched his younger self walking around Hogwarts with Ginny Weasley. They held hands, talked about nothing in particular and tried to pretend there wasn’t a Dark Lord out there waiting to destroy their world. Often, the younger Harry blushed whenever Ginny’s hair brushed his cheek.



They didn’t kiss. He had felt much too inexperienced and clumsy to try and Ginny had seemed contented with just conversation and traveling around Hogwarts.



The memories unfurled before him, showing their continuing courtship, the marriage, the happy uneventful days that were nevertheless so filled with joy. Birthdays, anniversaries, parties, ceremonies for the Boy Who Lived—all swept by him and his wide-eyed daughter.



He pulled his head reluctantly out of the memories. Even if he couldn’t communicate with her, it had been wonderful to see these images of Ginny again, both of them vibrant and happy. It was like the Mirror of Erised only better. That showed illusion. This presented the actuality of memory.



He straightened his shoulders, wincing at the ache in them. How long had he been in the Pensieve? It was hard to judge the passage of time; it might have been hours for all he knew. He shifted Lily in his arms and Transfigured her clothes into her favorite sleep gown.



When he walked to the door to put her in her bedroom, he found Severus standing there, his hand held up as if to knock.



“Severus? What is it?” Harry looked behind him. “Where are the boys?”



“They were fatigued. I put them to bed.”



“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”



“No. But I thought you might appreciate not having to deal with them for once.” Severus spoke lightly but those dark eyes were scanning his face, searching for disapproval.



“Really? Well…thanks. That was nice of you.”



Severus eyed Lily who looked back at him just as curiously. “I actually came to see your daughter. I thought she would like this.” He waved his wand and a vanilla cupcake appeared on a plate.



A whirl of mixed emotions swept through Harry. What was Severus playing at? His daughter suffered no such confusion. At the sight of the little treat, she squealed happily and waved her hands, entranced by the hovering confection.



“Well, she seems to like it. Come in, Severus.” The man waved the confection ahead of him into Harry’s bedroom.



“Look at that, Lily. Look what your Daddy Severus did,” Harry said, kissing his daughter on the top of her head as he settled on his bed. Severus sat beside him, not too close, but near enough to touch the little girl.



“Cack! Cack!” she cried, leaning towards the cupcake.



“Take a bite, honey.” Harry reached for the cupcake—only to watch it wobble on the plate and then lift, amazingly, into the air. It hovered there, one inch above the plate, before dropping to land on its side.



Harry stared at it and then at Severus. “Did you do that?”



The Potions master was equally surprised. “Not I. I thought that you had.”



“Nope.” The two men looked at the little girl lying innocently in Harry’s arms. She was fussing, reaching for the cupcake. Severus waved it within her reach and she dug her fist into it, mashing it and scooping up crumbled vanilla pieces. She crammed her fingers into her mouth and hummed happily as she licked and chewed at the sweet bits.



“Is that normal, Severus? To display magical abilities at such an early age?” Harry whispered, awed by what he’d just seen.



“It is not. However, that was just a small act of magic. As she gets older…”



“Yeah, I get it. Well, she’s got ten years ahead of her before she goes into Hogwarts.”



“Indeed. Perhaps she will take after her maternal grandmother and show aptitude at Potions.”



Harry glanced sharply at him. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”



Severus smirked. Then he ran a finger down Lily’s cheek. She grinned up at him and wrapped a sticky fist around his finger. “Dada Sevvie,” she murmured just before she grabbed for another piece of cupcake.



A ghost of a smile seemed to flash across Severus’s face. Harry could feel one edging on to his own. The ache that had been there all day seemed to ebb a little. It would probably never go away entirely. But, with Severus here, it didn’t seem so bad.



“Harry?”



“Yes, Severus?”



“I was wondering…” The man hesitated, an uncommon look of uncertainty in his dark eyes.



“What?”



“Madam Pomfrey told me you had been quite – startled when you learned that I was pregnant.”



“You bet. I still have a hard time believing it.” Harry shook his head.



“Then why did you have contraceptives?” Severus sounded casual but his face had grown stony. Harry wasn’t sure whether he was hurt or angry. But the man deserved an answer.



“Well…I had thought that you might use a – potion to get me pregnant. And I didn’t want to be,” he mumbled.



“I see. You didn’t trust me,” Severus stated flatly.



Harry felt his face flaming. “No! That is…” He bit his lip. “No, I guess I didn’t. I read about my rights under the marriage contract and I was worried you’d do something sneaky like dose me up with a pregnancy potion. I figured that’s what it would take to get a man pregnant. The last thing I wanted was to bring a child of yours into a hate-filled marriage.”



Severus’s cheeks colored faintly. “I…understand. My behavior towards you in the beginning was less than trustworthy. I hope you will believe me now when I state I would never do anything like that to you in the future.”



“I do. But thanks for saying it.”



Severus nodded but didn’t speak again. Both men watched quietly as Harry’s little daughter devoured the rest of her cake.





TBC