Fire and Water

Chapter Thirty One



Krystal had slept much better than she would ever have expected after the events of the previous day. ‘Confession is good for the soul’’ someone once said.

“Whose soul?” she muttered to herself.

She suspected Remus hadn’t slept as well as she did last night. Krystal sighed and sat up. He knew everything now. Her confession had to have answered some questions for him, even if they hadn’t been the answers he had wanted or expected.



She stood up and dressed quickly, pulling her hair back and plaiting it to keep it out of her face. She wanted to show Harry and the others some pretty full on stuff today. If nothing else, her experiences with the Death Eaters had taught her that she could access the darkest magic; magic she wouldn’t have dreamed existed, or that she ever thought she’d use before her parent’s deaths. She’d spent the last ten years studying the dark arts, and learning more about the darkness within her; hoping that by knowing it, accepting it, it would never be able to take hold of her again.



When she reached the kitchen, it was obvious it had been taken over as Wedding Central. Molly looked up from an argument with Fleur about table settings when Krystal entered the room. The older woman hadn’t been happy yesterday when Krystal refused to tell her what they had been doing inside the walls she’d put around her and the teenagers.

“Good morning.” Her greeting was a little stiff. Obviously, Molly was still angry with her. “Good morning Molly,” she returned the greeting as she was handed a coffee and plate of toast by Harry.



“I was just about to bring it up to you,” he explained, seeing her startled expression. “You must have been tired; you didn’t come down for dinner last night.”

He avoided her gaze. Krystal felt a flash of annoyance at Remus. She’d seen the two of them whispering off to the side yesterday, and now she suspected he’d told Harry how weak wandless magic could make her. She thanked him gruffly and flung herself into a spare chair, taking a deep swallow of coffee.



She knew she had to look after herself better if she was to be of any use to Harry in the coming months. Lack of food and sleep could limit the effectiveness of her magic. Wandless magic exhausted a wizard more than normal magic. When a wand was used, the wizards mind and the wand’s core provided the energy to create spells. Without the wand, a wizard had to rely on their own mind and body.



She munched on her toast. She preferred wandless magic; it was more powerful as it was coming directly from her rather than through a wand. The stress of the last couple of days could have reduced the efficiency of her magic. Maybe she should put off showing her students the dark spells until she was feeling a little emotionally stronger. She couldn’t even fall back on her wand, having left it behind when she fled the country and never bothering to replace it.



As she debated this plan, she glanced at Molly and the woman’s thoughts flashed through her mind before she could block them. Well, she could still read minds effectively anyway. She sighed loudly and put her toast down.



“Can I have a quick word with you, Molly?” She knew what the older woman wanted to know; of course, it was the one thing that Krystal couldn’t tell her. They stepped onto the front porch and once they had walked as far as they could away from the kitchen, Molly turned on Krystal.



“I want to know what you are doing with the children. I know, you said you are giving them defence lessons. What kind of defence lessons? They are hardly able to walk and all of them are covered in bruises.”

“Molly,” Krystal tried to interrupt her but she was on a roll.

“They have told me they aren’t going back to school this year. I don’t know where that idea came from,” she said, looking accusingly at Krystal, “but they needn’t think that they are going to be wandering the country doing Merlin knows what. They should be safe in school finishing their education……”

“Molly, please……” Krystal said, but Molly was not listening.

“I know they think they have some kind of mission from Dumbledore, but it’s just ridiculous. Dumbledore had the whole Order at his command. They are only children….”



“They aren’t children, Molly,” came a hoarse voice from behind them. Both women spun around, startled. They’d been both so caught up in their conversation, they hadn’t heard him arrive. Remus stepped forward and took Molly by the shoulders.

“Molly, they have a job to do, and they will do it,” he said firmly. “Krystal is teaching them skills they will need to survive. This is what Albus wanted her to do. Let her do her job.” Molly fell silent.

“Molly,” said Krystal quietly. The older woman turned to her and she saw the fear in her face. “I know you’re scared for them. But they are of age now. You can‘t protect them anymore.”



Molly stared at Krystal for a moment and then burst into tears. Krystal looked at Remus helplessly - she was way out of practice at this stuff. Remus put his hand on Molly’s shoulder, she fell into his arms and he held her as she cried. Krystal quickly raised a barrier between the three of them and the house, cutting them off from view. She suspected Molly would be mortified if the teenagers inside saw her lose control.



Krystal turned her head away as she heard Remus whispering to Molly in soothing tones. She felt awkward with the other woman’s display of emotion. Remus’ presence made her feel more self conscious as she remembered her own partial breakdown just last night. But there was another emotion as well. She was jealous. Jealous that Molly had Remus’ arms around her; that he was whispering in her ear in that voice that used to make her shiver. Krystal closed her eyes, trying to force the feelings and memories away.



After several minutes, Molly had regained control and was blowing her nose. “Thank you,” she said to Remus, patting his hand. He smiled at her and she turned to Krystal, who felt it was safe now to drop the barrier she was still holding.

“Thank you too.” Molly put her arms around Krystal. Surprised, Krystal’s instinct took over as she put her arms around the other woman. “You’ll protect them now?”

The whispered question next to her ear caused Krystal’s stomach to clench. She didn’t want someone else’s life in her hands. But she pulled away from Molly and looked her in the eye.

“With my life,” she said softly. Molly nodded and patted Krystal on the cheek. She went back into the house, leaving Krystal and Remus alone on the porch.



Krystal looked directly at Remus for the first time that day. He looked tired; his eyes tinged red and his hair was rumpled as if he had been running his fingers through it. “Thanks,” she muttered. “I’m not good with…..” She waved her hands to where Molly had stood. “All that comforting stuff. Not anymore.”

She saw the corners of Remus’ mouth turn up in a small smile. “I hadn’t noticed,” he said in a flippant tone. He had. She used to be the first to touch, to hug, to kiss. Krystal raised her eyebrows at him.

“You did ok,” he said quietly. There was an awkward silence. “Krys, I….”



The rest of his sentence was lost as he saw Harry, Ron and Hermione approach them. “Well,” said Ron. “What have you got planned for us today?” Krystal smiled as she heard the forced bravado in the teenagers voice.

“I want to show you some spells you may come across on your task but I’m not sure how to do it. I really need someone else who knows the spells to be there in case something goes wrong. I thought I might ask Bill……”

“What about me? I‘m available and I‘m right here,” suggested Remus.



“No!” Krystal‘s voice sounded loud even to her ears and she lowered it. “I don‘t think that‘s a good idea.”

“Remus was our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,” explained Hermione, who seemed surprised by Krystal’s reluctance to accept Lupin’s offer of help.

‘I know, Hermione. I’m not questioning his abilities…‘

Krystal looked slightly panic stricken, and Harry thought he knew why. He’d seen Krystal’s attempts to avoid sending spells at Remus yesterday; heard his quiet words telling her to cut it out, that he was fine. At the time, he’d been surprised by her reserve, but after last night, everything made a lot more sense.

Remus also had a look of understanding on his face. He turned to the three teenagers and said, “Why don’t you go and practice the duelling techniques you learnt yesterday while Krystal and I talk about today’s lessons?”



As they were left alone again, Krystal said, “There’s nothing to talk about. I’ll ask Bill to help me this afternoon…..”

“I’m here right now,” said Remus. Krystal glared at him.

“I told you yesterday, I don’t want your help with this stuff,” she said abruptly, turning away from him.

He grabbed her arm and hissed at her in a low voice, “Whether you want it or not, you have a responsibility to those kids. I don’t want to see James’ son dead and it seems you may be his best chance. You need to show them this magic and I’m here willing to help.”

He seemed to realise how tightly he was holding her and dropped her arm. “I think we both need to do this; to confront our fears,‘ He paused then added, “Together.”



She looked at him; he was serious. She looked over at the teens who quickly pretended they hadn’t been watching their exchange.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to do this.” Her pride took a hit as she admitted her weakness. “I don’t know if I can do this with you here.”

He began to move towards the trio as he said, “Neither do I. But there’s only one way to find out.”

‘Fine,’ she said, her jaw set. ‘But you do things my way. Agreed?’ He nodded and they walked over to the others.



Krystal put up the barriers and nervously faced them. “The spells I want to show you were created with the darkest intent in mind. Some are old and dark: not spells you will have come across in your reading, no matter how extensive that might be, Hermione.”

Hermione looked a little embarrassed as Krystal read her face correctly.

“Death Eaters are all trained to use these spells and they will use them without hesitation. So, you need to be ready to do the same.” She took a deep breath and flexed her hands.



“We’ll start off easy - the Unforgivables.”

Hermione gasped as Ron squeaked, “You said we’d start easy!”

“Compared to some of these Dark spells, the Unforgivables look like child’s play,” Remus said, his voice uncharacteristically hard. “Death would be preferable than to suffer through some of these hexes. If you can’t do this, any of you, tell us now because once you begin to use these spells, there is no going back.”

He glanced at Krystal, who’s face tensed at his words.

“No,” said Harry, nervously, looking at his friends who nodded. “We’re ready.”



“Remus will perform the hexes on me first; I won‘t fight them yet. I want to show you their effects. Then I want each of you to try them,” Krystal said, turning to face Remus, who opened his mouth to argue.

“This is the way it will be! This is the best way for them to fully understand. You agreed, Remus.” Her voice rose with her temper as his frown deepened. “You can go now if you aren’t happy with the way I‘m doing this.”

As the others watched, her blue eyes lightened until they were a silvery colour and a thin, white haze formed around her body.

Remus clenched his jaw, his own eyes flashing with anger and raised his wand, snapping, “Fine! Are you ready?”

Krystal nodded and Remus growled, “Imperio!”

Her body jerked and her face relaxed. She began to jump up and down as Remus took over her mind. Harry looked over at Lupin, then back at Krystal. He knew the conversation he had overheard last night was the cause for all the tension today.



Krystal suddenly stopped jumping. She turned and stared at Harry, her eyes wide and scared; her face draining of colour. Harry looked at Remus, thinking he‘d removed the spell, but the man looked confused.

“What’s wrong?” he asked Krystal.

Harry gave a start. He instinctively knew why she’d shaken off the curse. She had heard his thoughts. Horrified, he looked back at her. She was breathing heavily and he could see her lips shaking.



“How much did you hear?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Harry cleared his throat. “All of it.“

He saw tears forming in her eyes. “And you didn’t say anything? You are still willing to work with me?”

He nodded as he saw Ron and Hermione exchange a glance. They had figured out what was going on. Remus stepped closer, looking from Krystal to Harry with a wary look on his face.

“Why?” she asked incredulously.



Harry stepped closer to her. “I was angry at first. Really angry,’ he admitted. ‘But then I began to think about it. Not so long ago, my friends got hurt because I made bad choices. Because I wouldn‘t stop to ask for help. Because I was angry and scared that the only person I had left was going to be taken from me too. I was trying to help Sirius and I ended up nearly getting my friends killed.”



Krystal shook her head. “It’s not the same Harry. I hurt my friends, you didn’t…...”

He interrupted her, out of the corner of his eye seeing the look of shocked comprehension on Lupin’s face.

“It may not have been my wand that did the damage, but it was still my fault. I know how easy it is to make the wrong decision for the right reasons. Your intentions were good, you weren‘t doing it out of hate, you did it to protect your friends. I thought I was protecting Sirius that night - I ended up getting him killed.”



Harry could see that Krystal was struggling to keep her tears at bay. He turned to Lupin, who had a strange look on his face as he stared at Harry.

“I’m sorry, Remus,‘ he said quietly. ‘I overheard some things I had no right to hear. I’m sorry that I eavesdropped.’

Ron and Hermione stepped up beside him. “That we eavesdropped,’ said Hermione, her voice trembling. “We are all sorry.”

Lupin looked away, his hands coming up to rub the back of his neck. Krystal waved her hand at the barriers, which immediately collapsed.

“We’ll finish this after lunch. Go and help Molly with the wedding stuff. Please?’ she said as Harry tried to argue. The guilt ridden teenagers turned and disappeared into the house.



“They heard everything last night?” Remus needed it confirmed.

Krystal nodded. God, Harry was never supposed to find out - at least not until all this was over. She raised a shaking hand to her mouth then turned and ran behind the nearest tree. Remus heard the sound of retching and he felt a little sick himself, but for different reasons. Harry’s words had struck a nerve. He remembered hurting Krystal once, because he thought he was protecting her. He was willing to hurt her, to try and save her from what he believed would be a miserable life, and enormous pain later. And Harry….



He’d never blamed Harry for the choice he made back then, not even when it inadvertently led to Sirius’ death, because he understood the intentions behind it; understood how young Harry was and how hard it was for someone that young to see beyond the moment.

Remus felt a little shocked when he realised that Krystal had only been a year older than Harry was now when she made her choice, and that they were here teaching him to do the very things she’d done - to torture; to be prepared to kill.



He recalled how misery had weighed heavily on him every time he’d seen the hurt in Krystal’s face all those years ago, and he knew how much guilt and pain Harry still carried about his part in Sirius’ death.

Up until this moment, even after seeing the pain in her face last night, he hadn’t stopped to think about how much that decision must have hurt her; how hard it must have been for her to make that choice.

Harry risked his and his friends lives to save someone he loved; and so had Krystal. She made a decision that at the time seemed like the only one; just as Remus had all those years ago.

She’d hurt them all to save them; risking her own life, knowing that she’d never be able to come back; that she was leaving everything she loved behind. Now, he understood the sacrifice she’d made for him and was beginning to realise what it must have cost her. He finally, really understood that she hadn’t done this to him. She’d done it for him.



Remus walked towards the trees that circled The Burrow. For a minute he searched, and finally found Krystal sitting underneath a large oak tree. He sat on the ground next to her, leaning back into the tree trunk.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know what else to say. I can’t ever take back what I did to you. It was unforgivable.”

He reached over and took her hand, linking his fingers with hers and feeling heat shoot up his arm. She stared at their entwined fingers and then looked up at him. He smiled.

“I forgive you.”

She stared at him, her expression apprehensive, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. “No catch,’ he said, reading her expression correctly.



“You forgive me?” she questioned, “What? Just like that?”

Remus shook his head, looking at their still joined hands. He’d nearly forgotten how well they fit together.

“No,” he said. “I always knew that you would never have done what you did without reason. I just didn’t know the reason. Now I do, I understand, and I realised that I forgave you the moment I saw you again.”



He looked at her and saw the tear streaking down her cheek. He fought against the sudden urge to lean over and kiss it away.

‘I always said you were far too forgiving,’ she murmured, brushing the tear away with her hand. He smiled at her and she let out a breath of laughter as well.

Her smile faded quickly though, and she pulled her hand gently out of his grasp.

‘So, you’ve got what you wanted. You know why,’ she said, pulling grass out of the earth and twisting it in her fingers. ‘You can get married and move on now.’



She stood up, brushing off her backside as he stood as well. ‘If I was your fiancée, I wouldn’t want you hanging out with an ex girlfriend, so I’ll understand that you probably won’t be able to help out much. There’s no reason for you to hang around now.’ She looked at the ground, her foot turning up the grass and soil distractedly.

‘Your fiancée, Tonks is it?’ She looked up at him and he nodded, staring at her as she kept talking. ‘She’s probably got a fair few things for you to get ready; I’ve seen how crazy Molly’s going with Bill and Fleurs’ wedding. You should be spending this time with her, Remus.’



He thought later it was hearing her say his name in that bossy way she used to that made him do it. He took a step towards her and put his arms around her.

‘Remus,’ she objected, pushing at his chest, but he wouldn’t let her go. He’d dreamed of being able to hold her again for eighteen years, and he wasn’t going to let her push him away.

“Don’t Krys,’ he whispered shakily. ‘Please let me hold you again. Just for a minute.’



After a few seconds, she stopped pushing at him, and a moment later he felt her arms move around his waist. Remus felt tears stinging his eyes and clenched them to try and stop them escaping. He hadn’t felt anything like this since she’d left. It felt like he’d woken up after a long sleep.

Krystal too, was struggling against her tears. She hadn’t been held like this for eighteen years, and it was a little overwhelming. She’d forgotten what it felt like to be touched by someone she loved, and the words just escaped.

“I’ve missed you.”

Krystal’s whispered confession made his heart leap and he couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. He knew he shouldn’t allow himself but he couldn’t help it - the words were out before he could think.

“I’ve missed you too.”

They stood there, holding each other. Remus’ head dropped to her shoulder, pulling her so tightly against him, she must have been hurting. But she buried her face in his neck and held him just as hard, for a few minutes allowing herself to forget that he wasn’t hers anymore.



Finally, Molly’s raised voice reprimanding Ron broke through the spell, and Krystal pulled away, forcing Remus to drop his arms. She wiped away the traces of the tears she’d shed, as he did the same.

‘Those kids have had enough of a break,’ she said, her voice cracked. ‘I’ll go and get them back to work.’

Remus took her hand as she walked past him, stopping her.

‘I’m staying, Krys,’ he whispered. She nodded and let her hand slide out of his as she continued towards the house.

‘I know,’ she said softly.



That night, Remus visited Tonks at her parent’s house.

‘You want to put off the wedding?’ she said angrily, not wanting to believe what he’d just asked. He nodded.

‘I’m sorry, Tonks. I think it would be a good idea.’ She stared at him for a moment than sank down onto the couch.

‘Has something happened?’ she asked, looking up at him with teary eyes.

He sat next to her and took her hand. ‘I just need some more time to sort through all of this. I just…..it’s a lot to take in, and I don’t want to marry you with all this on my mind.’



She looked at him and her expression softened a little. ‘But you don’t want to call it off? Just wait another week or so? Remus,’ she said, alarmed by his hesitation. ‘you do still want to marry me, don’t you?’ He looked at her distraught face and couldn’t tell her how confused he felt.

‘I don’t want to call it off. Just put it back a bit, ok?’ he said, giving her a forced smile.



She smiled back at him, and threw her arms around him, pulling him close to her. He put his arms around her and held her, sadness filling him as he realised he felt nothing like the intensity and emotion he felt with Krystal.

He wasn’t an idiot; he knew that this morning’s embrace had been moving for them both because it had been so long, but it had reminded him of the feelings he’d worked so hard to forget over the years. How he’d always felt stronger when he held Krystal, how they fit together perfectly, and how right it had always felt. Holding Tonks had never felt like that.



He felt her lips move on his neck, and closed his eyes. There was no way he could do this again - make love to Tonks while he thought of Krystal. She had moved her lips to his now, straddling his lap, pushing him back onto the couch.

‘Tonks, we shouldn’t…..your parents,’ he tried to say, but she put her hand over his mouth.

‘They won’t be back for hours yet.’



Remus felt her hands move to his belt, rubbing over his groin before she undid it.

‘No, Tonks,’ he said, trying to stop her hands. ‘I’m not really in the mood. I’m tired.’

She grinned up at him. ‘Stop worrying. They really won’t be back for ages. And I don’t think you’re that tired. Something’s in the mood.’

She had his fly undone now and shoved her hand down his pants, stroking him.



His eyes closed for a moment, feeling himself getting hard as she touched him. Her lips were moving on his neck again, licking his skin. His breath quickened, as her lips moved to his throat.

‘Tonks, stop,’ he said, trying to pull her hand out of his pants, but she gripped him harder.

‘No,’ she said, kissing his lips. ‘You don’t really want me to. I can feel it.’

She ran her thumb over the tip of him and he couldn’t help his reaction, his hips rising sharply.



Tonks laughed, and slid down until she was kneeling on the floor in front of him. She pulled his pants lower, and Remus felt her lips on his stomach. He opened his eyes, and looked down at her pink head, knowing he really didn’t want her to do this.

‘No, I mean it, Tonks,’ he said, taking her head in his hands. ‘I want you to stop.’

She looked up at him, still stroking him but he grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands off him.

‘I am sorry, Tonks,’ he said, looking at her puzzled and hurt face. ‘I’m really tired.’

He gently pushed her off him and stood up, doing up his pants again. She stood up next to him and watched.



When he was dressed again, he hugged her and kissed her forehead. ‘I should go. I’ll see you later, alright?’

She nodded and followed him to the door. As he made to leave, she grabbed his arm, throwing herself at him, kissing him desperately. After a minute, Remus managed to extract himself.

‘I’ve got to go. I’m going to collapse in exhaustion otherwise.’ He smiled at her then apparated away, not seeing her angry face.