The Echoes Of Yesterday

The Echoes Of Yesterday…by Samayel

Chapter 33: New Beginning


Harry composed himself quietly for a few moments before joining John and Minerva in the small office in the back of the suite. His mind was still a tumult of possibilities and complications. John had been right! Harry had dismissed the very notion of such a thing, certain that it wasn’t even possible, but he’d been proven terribly wrong, and knew now that he had allowed himself a large ‘blind spot’ regarding Draco, solely because of who he was.

It wasn’t as if Harry hadn’t seen this kind of thing before. First crushes and ‘puppy love’ were normal things to encounter in a career that involved so many young people, especially those hovering on the cusp of adulthood. It was a thing dealt with most by the younger, human members of the staff, including Hermione and Cho Chang. The admiration for an instructor sometimes mingled with the somewhat murky realm of desire, and Harry had always been careful to give no accidental impression of returned affection, or encouragement for anything beyond a good academic performance.

Only with Draco had he been blind to it, obviously because the very notion made him far more uncomfortable than merely dealing with his Draco’s surviving child! He needed John’s advice, privately, as soon as he read that letter and relayed what Draco had told him to Minerva.

‘God…did I do anything to precipitate this? Could I have wanted to…unconsciously? No…can’t be. I never wanted this! Steady on, Harry. You can deal with this too. Hell of a first day out of the ward, but at least I still have time to sort these things out before picking up classes again. Let’s get this first part over with right now…then worry about whether it’s still possible to work around him.’

Harry tapped at the door and was invited in, stepping in quickly and taking the remaining chair while Minerva plucked the letter from the opened envelope and held it out for Harry.

Harry scanned the letter quickly, confirming Draco’s suspicions about its contents, feeling more than a little irritated that this was necessary at all.

“Gods…I haven’t read anything with such a high handed tone since Snape was here. Minerva, I know this has a certain importance, given the Ministry’s interest in all things Malfoy, but really…this is more than three quarters speculation at the motives and possible causes. I’ll be frank. It does match loosely with what Draco told me, and I believe him, since he made no pretense of innocence, but this letter isn’t much more than character assassination. If that’s the quality of supervision at Durmstrang, they bloody well ought to be closed!”

Minerva sipped her tea and leaned back in her chair, the picture of perfect calm. “I’m well aware of this. I didn’t get the chance to say it before, but I can’t take anyone who wrote this entirely seriously. Really, Harry…to accuse a twelve year old of crimes of this sophistication! Almost unthinkable, but it does need to be addressed, and it is serious enough to warrant asking the young man to explain it. I take it his testimony was satisfactory?”

Harry bristled still, but was mollified by the fact that Minerva hadn’t put much stock in the pompous ass who’d written the letter.

“Quite. I understand why he wouldn’t want to share it, but it seems to boil down to this. He had his first crush on another student, a popular, older athlete, and the other student used that for a bit of free help with their studies, then deliberately humiliated Draco in front of others by making sport of it all. What happened after was patently wrong, but nothing as foul as this makes it out to be.

“He didn’t want revenge. He botched a love spell, wandlessly. The results were unpredictable and violent. He wound up assaulted by the object of his affection, scared out of his mind, and was rescued only because others heard the commotion and pulled them apart before anything worse could have happened. The other student involved was expelled for nearly committing rape, and Draco’s primary wrongdoing here…the only thing NOT mentioned or even alluded to in the letter, mind you…was that he was so ashamed that he denied everything. They couldn’t trace the spell, and we all know how Durmstrang hushes up anything that might mar their reputation. They listed it as a common brawl and left it at that.

“Given the other student’s popularity, and the cruel nature of the prank, the suspicion of the other children and of some of the staff fell on Draco. He was a pariah before the end of the term. It fits perfectly with the evidence of stunted social development, the lack of trust for other young people, and even his disrespect for the integrity of instructors. Reading the venom in this parchment shows us what kind of environment he was subjected to…for five years! We’re talking about a very gifted, very insecure young man…and this is the kind of trauma that can last for years. I hope you accept my word as valid on this, and given that he seems willing to go through Veritaserum testing if necessary, providing that I’m the person attendant at the time as a witness, I’d swear that what Draco has told is the truth.”

John nodded sagely. “I’m inclined to agree. I can’t reveal anything told to me in confidence, but I had guessed at a traumatic social event somewhere in the mix. There have been hints…mostly topics he seemed very uncomfortable with. Throw in what we all know about his upbringing, and I’d say that this makes a lot more sense than the prattle in that note.”

Minerva sighed with relief and placed her cup on the desk with an air of satisfaction. “There will be a statement for you to sign, Harry, but I think that will be all I’ll require. I find it much easier to believe in a love struck youngster doing something terribly foolish than a calculating seducer wreaking havoc at the age of twelve. Nonsense…the things that come out of that school! I’ve more than a few things to see to this morning…is there anything else that either of you would care to discus before we start the day?”

John shrugged his shoulders mildly, but Harry quickly interjected. “Yes, and I really should say it to both of you in an official capacity while we’re here together. I mean to retire at the end of the year. I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in a long time, seeing things clearer, and I just know this is the right thing. It isn’t that I don’t think I’m able to do this, or that I can’t meet the requirements, so please don’t try to dissuade me. I haven’t lost my affection for this place, but I’ve been using this job as a way to hide from…things. That’s done with as of now. I’ll meet the commitments I’ve made here, and then I’m done. It isn’t subject to negotiation. I’m sorry if that seems callous, but I have to be firm about this. This what I want to do.”

Minerva stood up and smiled ruefully at her former pupil. Uncharacteristically, her hand stretched forward and mussed Harry’s hair while he waited in silence for her answer.

“Still a stubborn and troublesome boy. I’d hoped you’d change your mind about this. You will be sorely missed, but, if that’s truly what you want, there isn’t anything to be done for it except to start compiling some names that might be suitable for the position while I still have time. No point in making goodbyes now though. We’ve still got some time left. Let’s try to make this as memorable a year as possible, shall we? I’ve go to go, but I’ll see you as soon as I’ve drafted some papers for you to sign. Tomorrow, perhaps.”

“Alright…and thank you for understanding. As well as for accepting my convictions about Draco on faith.”

A minute later, Minerva was gone, and Harry waited until he and John had exhausted the topic of his decision to leave Hogwarts before he brought up the matter that concerned him the most.

“You were right, John. About Draco.”

“Hmmm? Ahhh…something he said while you were talking, wasn’t it? I’ll give you this…for a lad with poor control of his temperament, he plays his cards close to the vest. Especially around you. I was wondering if he even knew it himself. How did you handle that?”

“Well…what else could I do? I had to tell him that it was out of the question. I couldn’t possibly be that for him. Leaving aside that he’s only barely of age, and that I’m supposed to be his teacher, AND that I’m past twice his age…he’s Draco’s son! I didn’t realize he’d fixated on me…in any romantic way. At this point, I’m not sure I can be any kind of mentor at all if he has feelings like that. I did tell him that I’d finish the year as promised, but please tell me you can help make sure he puts that notion to rest. I’d like to get back to work in a few days at the latest…and this…this I do…not…need.”

“Harry, Harry, Harry. Take a couple of deep breaths and relax. It’s been a complicated morning already. No use in getting worked up no sooner than you appear in public again. I think we both agree that, if Draco can’t make his peace with your requiring a certain distance, and not just for propriety’s sake, no one would blame you for stepping back from this. I might commend you for being very clear headed about this, in spite of all the little entanglements along the way. In the meantime, I’ve got potions at the ready, and you can even arrange a half schedule if you like. Split the classes for the younger years off and just teach the upper level courses. Poor Ron could still make it home at night, and you could free up a little more time to concentrate on yourself and how to work with Draco. Oh…and have you had any thoughts about what you might do after the year is over?”

Harry shrugged with an air of resignation. “Not really. Some travel. Fix up Grimmauld Place and make it a proper home. Maybe a few charitable appearances. Nothing fixed. I just know it’s time to start living my life again, and some of that has to start at home, not here. We can talk more later, and throw a few ideas around then, alright? I just think I ought to at least see Ron before classes get fully underway, so I’ve got hurry to catch him.”

John Prewett nodded sagely and chuckled. “Go on, then. Off with you. We’ll see you tonight for the potions, right?”

“Of course…and thanks…for everything else. There are still some things I’d like to talk to you about. They need to be said, worked out, given thought to…not buried away waiting to hamstring me later. I’ve got a few days before I actually start teaching…and we can make use of them while I’ve got the chance. See you tonight.”

John Prewett watched Harry leave, then cleaned up the teapots and china with a wave of his wand. It was an uncanny thing, the way fate sometimes threw a person the catalyst needed for change, and the results were unpredictable and even frightening. It was difficult enough for the young to see their lives suddenly change, but for the mature, it was far more traumatic. Youth itself was a time of change and experimentation, a time of trial and testing, but as one aged one developed a sense of continuity and familiarity with the way one felt and thought and lived. Harry Potter might not think so, but John Prewett knew that he was in the presence of a very brave man. A man as flawed as anyone else, with his own fears and insecurities, but a very brave man nonetheless.

It was as much as one could hope for…that Harry might make some peace with the past, and make the very most of the rest of his life. It would be for the best if young Draco could be persuaded not to complicate things further…but given the subtle and yet stubborn nature of the young man in question, John had serious doubts about whether Draco would quickly abandon any affection he might feel for another person.

’Damn. And just when I’d hoped things would quiet down for awhile. Hmmph. I expect I’ll need a lot more tea in the office to keep up with the traffic through here this year. Alas…such is life.’

TBC!!!