FOR SERVICES RENDERED

Thanks for betaing Kim. Missing you TQA


Chapter Thirty-Three

Severus was pacing his sitting room in front of the fire, waiting for Farid to arrive. The boy was late again and Severus realised that he had probably scared him far more that he had meant to when he had shouted at him in front of the entire Slytherin common room. Severus felt a pang about that; he should not have been so harsh with the boy. It had been his first ever party after all, was it so wrong that he had wanted to stay a little longer?

Farid had just come upon him when he was angry, that was all. He had received a summons from Albus to go to the infirmary, apparently Draco had been injured, but then some sort of battle had erupted in Slytherin and it had taken him nearly three hours to get everything under control again. In the end, Nott and several of the seventh year boys had stepped in and calmed things down. They had been absent initially, probably because they had almost certainly attended the Gryffindor party. Though why anyone would want to celebrate Slytherin’s defeat was beyond Severus. He supposed that the attractions of a rarely allowed treat of alcohol for the older forms had been the deciding factor for most of them. He had been quite pleased that Nott and the others had been so helpful and had told them he would find a way to reward them.

Maybe finally things were settling down. Now that Farid had defeated the Dark Lord, perhaps they realised that they had to try to get along with each other at long last. Perhaps the fact that they must have been at the party was another good sign?

Severus had been feeling quite mellow. After soothing the tempers of the Slytherins, he had come back to his chambers, half expecting Farid to be waiting for him in the corridor. But there was no sign of the boy. Feeling his irritation rise once more, he helped himself to another whiskey. He thought it was his fourth, but perhaps it was his sixth?

He could not help feeling irked. He had been prepared to forgive his slave. Farid would have been able to sooth his annoyance and that would have been that, but it looked like Severus would have to punish him after all. He was startled when there was a loud knock on the door. He knew it could not be Farid, as he knew the password. Perhaps the boy was unsure of his welcome. As well he should be, Severus thought, drawing his brows down in frustration.

But it was a second year standing there. Esme Zabini, Blaise’s little half-sister stood with her fist raised to knock again when Severus flung open the door.

“Please, Professor, come to Slytherin. Your slave needs you.” she said earnestly.

Severus wasted no more time. He didn’t even stop to ask the little girl what was wrong. Instead, he ran along the corridor, staggering a bit as he really had had too much alcohol by now, closely followed by a small, dark haired little girl.

Later, much later, Severus sat once again in front of the fire. He had been shocked beyond belief by Farid’s actions tonight. When he had taught Farid to overcome his training he had never thought that Farid would then begin to sleep around. He had found his boy, bent over a bed, whilst Theodore Nott prepared to breach him. Farid had looked wanton, naked, flushed and hard and Severus had been disgusted.

He had known at once that these were probably not the first men that Farid had entertained. No wonder Black had kissed him on the Quidditch pitch earlier today. How many others had Farid slept with? Was it just since they had overcome his conditioning or had he always done it? Was that why Weasley liked him? Or Longbottom, or Malfoy? How many boys had seen that tight little arse? Severus was disgusted, he had dragged Farid back to his rooms and shouted at him about how repelled he felt by him, about what a little whore the boy was and all the time the slave had just stood there mute and defiant. Finally Severus had had enough and he had backhanded Farid with all his strength. The boy had gone flying across the room but Severus could not bring himself to care. In the morning he would deal with the boy. If he could bring himself to look at him that was.

Severus was overcome with self-pity. All of his life, what was his, was taken away. He had always lost out to richer, braver, more charming boys. Boys like Potter, like Black. He had thought that things were different with Farid, but obviously that bastard Black had wormed his way in and Farid had truly become the whore that he always was. Maybe he was far more like his father than Severus had ever realised? Potter had slept around, hadn’t he, before Lily? He had even almost slept with Severus once. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, eh?” he asked himself bitterly.

Severus got up from his seat, swaying quite dangerously now and staggered over to the low table where he kept his whiskey. He downed another glass and then poured another to take back to his chair, which seemed cruelly to have moved back since he had gotten out of it and somewhat strangely also moved uphill. He felt truly alone tonight, unloved, uncared for and full of sorrow at his own misery, his head woozy with alcohol and feeling thoroughly wretched, Severus started to cry.



The loud hammering would not seem to go away. Severus groaned to himself and snuggled into the sofa cushion but the banging persisted. Finally he got up and went to the door, swinging it open he found Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini and a delegation of Gryffindors, including Remus Lupin, standing outside.

“Whadyou want?” he slurred.

It was the werewolf who answered. “We have come to see Farid. How is he?”

“He can’t be too bad, can he Professor, or he would have been in the hospital wing with Draco?” Blaise spoke that time. “I couldn’t believe it when Esme came to tell us what was happening. She did get to you in time, didn’t she?”

“That bastard, Nott!” Weasley was speaking now. “I knew he should have broken his legs when he tried to grope Farid last week. To think the wanker tried to rape him this time.”

Severus’ head hurt. He was trying to make sense of what they were saying. Rape, what did they mean rape? Farid raped?

He spoke rather shakily, “What are you talking about?”

Lupin looked at him hard, pinning him with a remorseless gaze. “Severus, we think that Farid might have been raped last night. Where is he?”

And all at once Severus was sober. He looked over at the corner where Farid had fallen. There was a smear of blood on the floor beneath the chest that the boy had crashed into and Severus felt cold. His insides had turned to ice.

“Raped?” He whispered.

Lupin grabbed him by his upper arms, just like Farid had been grabbed the night before, “Where is he, Severus?”

Severus’ lip quivered, “I don’t know.” He sank to the chair beneath him trembling with shock. He closed his eyes and, imprinted on his retina, was Farid as he had seen him last night and this time he had really looked at the boy. He had been battered, bruised, naked, bound. Someone had tied his hands behind his back; someone had fixed a belt around his neck like a makeshift collar. His eyes had been glassy, his face streaked with tears. Farid had not been with Nott willingly, of course he hadn’t. Farid would never readily go with anyone, not whilst he was bound to Severus he had always known that, really.

The alcohol, his own jealousy, his own self-pity had blinded him to the truth; the very obvious truth.

“Oh my God,” he said, so quietly, that he was almost not heard. “What have I done?”

The others were rushing from room to room, shouting Farid’s name, desperately searching. But no one answered; Farid was not anywhere to be found.

Lupin crashed down beside him. “Severus, you have to find him, reach him through the bond.”

Severus looked up at the anxious eyes of his newfound friend.

“I can’t, I shut it down.”

Remus closed his eyes. “Oh Severus,” he said shaking his head sadly, “What are we going to do with you?

“M Sorry,” Severus murmured, “So sorry.”

“Severus,” Remus was speaking again. “Listen to me. Last night Esme Zabini came to find her brother. He was in the infirmary with Draco. Draco was attacked and beaten, Farid found him. He was worried that you would be cross with him, and from all reports you were. Esme says that she and some of her classmates saw Nott and his cronies read out a parchment to Farid, supposedly from you. The parchment was purported to say that you wanted Farid to entertain him and his friends. Esme then said that Nott whispered something to Farid and, I quote, ‘Farid’s thing got big’.

“You had said that you would reward the boys, but Esme was worried. She watched the boys lead Farid away and then she saw them give him something to drink. She thought that this was all wrong because her brother told her to stay away from Nott, that he is a bad boy and that he wanted to hurt Farid, but that Farid is his friend, so she came to find him and he sent her to you.

“Zabini left Draco and headed back to the dorm, but when he got there Farid had already left with you. We thought you would be looking after him, Severus. We thought he was safe.”

“But I don’t know where he is,” Severus said his voice was cracking with sorrow. “We have to find him.”

“We do,” Remus answered. “Severus, you must concentrate. Listen to what I am saying; you cannot shut off the bond, not completely. You can block Farid but he could never block you.”

“But then he must have been overwhelmed!” Severus muttered, “I have been so angry, so jealous, Remus. I thought I would protect him from my emotions. I didn’t know.”

“I know, Severus. I am not cross with you, but you must reactivate the bond. We have to find him. Whatever he was given, I don’t know, but Severus, he should be able to feel your distress. If he has not come back to you by now, then he may not be able to come back. The potion may have harmed him.”

Severus could feel himself shutting down, “What have I done? Oh God, Oh God. What have I done?”

“Severus, concentrate,” Remus was shaking him. “You must listen to me, man! If he has not come back already it is because he can’t. He cannot ignore the bond, and your distress will be calling to him. If he has not returned it is because he is unconscious.” Lupin stopped there, but it did not matter because Severus heard the words that were unsaid. “Unconscious or dead”. Severus choked back a sob.

“What do I do?” he whispered, “Tell me what to do.”

“Focus on Farid. Try and picture him, listen for him, listen to your heart. You can find him if you try.”

Severus closed his eyes. He tried to still his breathing, calm the mounting panic. He reached inside himself as deep as he could, searching for Farid. And this time, he listened and, as he did, he realised that he had never truly done this before, tried to hear Farid. He had assumed that he knew what the boy wanted. Had made decisions for him but never had he reached inside himself to hear what Farid needed most. Everything was black, dark, cold. Severus nearly despaired. Was it too late? Where was Farid? Something was digging into the boy, he could feel it. He ached all over, Farid did, Severus could feel it, but this something was pressing into his thigh demanding attention. It was hard, unyielding. All at once he knew what it was. Even in Farid’s unconscious state Severus could somehow see through him. He was up from the chair and running even as he shouted back to Remus, “A shoe, a shoe, he is lying on a shoe.”

He rushed into his bedroom and wrenched the cupboard door so hard that it came away from one of its hinges. At first it was too dark, but then he saw Farid curled as small as he could get amongst the discarded things at the back of the cupboard.

“Oh my love,” he whispered, “my poor little love.” Severus went down on his belly and crawled into the tight space. He reached the boy and laid a hand on a cold arm. Farid did not stir. Then Severus was scrabbling through shoes, old brooms, and a tennis racquet, desperate to reach the boy. Slowly, so slowly, he eased him out, until he held him in his arms. Severus could not believe that he had been so blind. The boy’s hair, his skin was smeared with ejaculate. His eye was bruising nicely where Severus had hit him and his mouth had a cut that had bled and then crusted over. He struggled to stand, and heard a chorus of gasps from the others. They had followed Severus and were crowded in the doorway, watching him bring the boy from the dark, enclosed space.

“Oh Merlin,” Draco cried, “Look at his backside.” Farid was covered in welts. He had obviously been beaten even more savagely than Draco. Severus was sobbing now. How could he not have seen this? His boy, his Farid had been attacked and Severus had been too full of anger, of jealousy too fucking drunk to even notice.

Severus had made his way over to the bed and was gently lowering Farid down. “Sir, look at his mouth, there is something in it.” Seamus drew closer as he spoke. Farid’s mouth had fallen open slightly and they could all now see something white just inside. Severus hooked his finger in and gently drew out a white piece of cloth. When he spoke his words were infinitely sad.

“It is Farid’s underpants. They gagged him with his underpants.” The pants stank too; Severus did not even want to think about what they had done to them before they put them in Farid’s mouth.

Gently he untied Farid. The boy’s arms had been pulled back and bound tightly behind his back. The delicate wrists were encircled by deep red marks where his bonds, made from a gold Gryffindor tie, had dug into his flesh. He had more trouble with the belt, which had been fastened into a thick collar. It was secured too tightly for Severus to undo and he had to cut it free, unavoidably cutting the delicate skin on Farid’s neck.

Belatedly, he realised that he was being watched. Too late, he tried to cover Farid with the bedcover. But his audience was comprised of those who loved his boy and he realised again how foolish he had been when he had resented how much they cared for Farid. Each and every one of the children standing round the bed was crying. Unashamedly letting tears pour down their cheeks as they begged Severus to make him better.

He spoke again, “Please Remus, can you go and sort this out. Find out who is responsible, get Albus to do something.” He could not have stopped the tears that were pouring down his own cheeks now, even if he’d wanted too. “I have to bathe him, to take care of him.”

Remus ushered the others out, turning back to Severus before he left. “He will be alright Severus, won’t he? You will look after him?” Severus nodded; he could not trust himself to speak. He knew that this boy had been his to look after, given on trust. Severus had fucked up quite royally this time; he had gotten away Scot-free for his neglect, his foolishness. It was Farid who had suffered, and Severus knew that he would never forgive himself for what had happened. Severus knew that Nott and the others had worked out his weaknesses and used them. Severus had been played and Farid had been the prize.

He carried the boy to the bathroom and washed him gently, soothing the welts and washing away the filth that covered Farid. Oh so carefully, he dried him and placed a tender kiss on cool, unresponsive lips and all the time he talked away to Farid, promising him anything he could think of. As much time with Black as he could wish, parties every day, time with his friends, and, every so often, he begged the boy to wake up, please wake up. “I am sorry, so sorry Farid, so sorry my love, please come back, please forgive me.” Yet, from Farid, there continued to be no response, not even a flicker from the closed eyes.

Severus hoped and prayed that Remus would find out what the potion was. He thought that then at least he could work on an antidote. But deep down he knew that it was too late. Whatever Farid had been given, it had already been absorbed in his bloodstream. All he could really do was wait for the poison to work its way out of his system, maybe then his boy would awaken.

With Farid washed clean of all the filth that marred his perfect skin and tangled his hair, Severus cradled the boy in his arms again and carried him back to the bed. Balancing Farid against one knee, he ripped off the cover on which he had laid him earlier and threw it to the floor. “I’ll never drink again my darling, please wake up,” he murmured into the boy’s soft neck, as he sank down onto the bed with his precious burden. “I am so sorry for what I said.” He lay back against the pillows and Farid’s head flopped into its usual place on his shoulder. “I’ll never raise my voice to you again, my love,” as he rested his cheek on Farid’s soft, dark head and let the tears flow unchecked, only to be absorbed by Farid’s soft black hair. “Please, please my beloved, please be alright.”

But, from Farid, there was no answer; he slept on, knowing nothing of his Master’s distress, finally free of the turbulent emotions that had tortured him for the past week or more.

And Severus lay there, holding his beloved tightly. He felt no lust, no desire to pin the boy to the bed, no jealousy towards the others who so obviously cared for him. Finally, he seemed to have conquered his emotions, for what did they matter in the face of his boy’s safety? He finally realised how foolish he had been as he lay there cradling Farid against his chest, whispering words of love, praying for Farid to wake up. How incredibly stupid he had been, how selfish. He would willingly share Farid with anyone with whom the boy wished to spend time. For it was better to share him, to see the joy in his eyes and the smile on his lips, even if they were not for him, than to not have Farid in his life at all. He just hoped and prayed that his revelation had not come too late.