Strong Enough

CHAPTER 32 EVERYBODY HURTS

Thanks to the mighty Zephyr, for talking me through my mini block!!
Thanks at bottom
Not mine, Hers

When the day is long and the night,
the night is yours alone,
when you\'re sure you\'ve had enough
of this life, well hang on.
Don\'t let yourself go,
everybody cries and everybody hurts,
sometimes

Everybody Hurts, REM

Hermione was sitting in the Aurors meeting room at the Ministry of Magic, waiting for Moody to come out of his daily briefing. She felt empty, alone, and like she hadn’t seen Severus for weeks, even though it had only been hours. She needed something to get her mind off of him and hoped that the old auror could help her out.

Moody stepped out of the room and silently motioned for her to follow him down the corridor to his office. Once inside he sat down behind his desk and looked at her, his magical eye whirling madly in his head. \"Sit down Granger,\" he barked in his no nonsense voice. She sat down and looked at him expectantly.

\"I never thought I’d see the day when someone got the better of you Granger,\" he said.

Frowning, she replied, \"No one has ever got the better of me sir.\"

Moody raised his bushy eyebrows at her, \"Uh Huh, so do you want to tell me the real reason you’ve abandoned your post and come back here looking for more field work?\"

She looked away under his penetrating stare. hadnhadn’t told Severus the truth when she had said that Moody had authorized her to move out of the castle. She hadn’t even asked him.

\"I couldn’t stay there, sir,” she said hoping she sounded convincing. \"They don’t need that many aurors there. I don’t believe they are in any danger until Graduation day. There are more important things I could be doing.\"

Moody sat back in his chair \"Very well Granger. You need to be back at the school on the night before Graduation day. Until then you can continue to track the higher death eaters.\"

Hermione gave the older man a forced smile. \"Great, thank you sir. Is that all?\"

Moody was looking out of his window, but his magic eye swiveled around to face her. \"Be careful Granger, stay out of sight, the last thing we need this close to the battle is our top auror out of action, or dead,\" he said. \"Dismissed.\"

She left the Ministry and sat on the steps outside to have a cigarette. She was going to watch Lucius Malfoy, the one that got away.

There were only a couple of weeks left until Graduation. Harry was holed away in a secret location until then. Ron was leading a team into the forbidden forest to set up for the battle. And Hermione, she was chasing a madman. Again.

She stood and dusted herself down. She walked to her bike and started the engine. \"Time for a little trip,\" she said to herself, face set, and rode off through the early morning central London traffic.

~*~*~

Severus walked to the Headmaster’s quarters the following morning deep in thought. He knew Hermione’s decision was the right one. So why did his heart ache so much? He had never experienced so many emotions in such a short amount of time. He never thought he would love anyone, let alone someone as fierce wit with as much emotional baggage as Hermione. But he had, and now she was gone. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, entering upon hearing Dumbledore’s voice.

Everyone was already there, Minerva was pouring them all tea, Dumbledore was behind his desk and Draco and Ginny were sitting together on a small couch by the window.

He nodded to them all as he walked over to the armchair by the fireplace and slumped down into it, staring into the fire-

\"Severus, where is Miss Granger?\" asked Dumbledore, in a grave voice

Severus, who was in no mood to humour the old man, replied without looking up \"Albus, you already know the answer to that question, so why do you ask?\"

Dumbledore frowned \"Let me rephrase that then, why has Miss Granger taken her belongings and left, leaving the rest of her team behind?\"

\"Because she can’t bear to watch me facing certain death,\" he snapped, \"because she loves me too much, because we can’t do what we have to while our thoughts are constantly on each other. Is that a good enough reason for you?\"

Dumore ore nodded. \"I just wanted to make sure you understood it,\" he said ignoring the incredulous look on Severus’s face. \"Now we have more pressing objects to overcome, first of them being getting you back into the inner circle.\"

Ginny spoke up. \"There‘s a meeting tonight, we can take him with us,\" she looked at Draco. \"We thought that we could say that Severus was helping us with a fertility potion.\"

They all looked at Severus and he nodded wearily. \"I will be ready,\" he said, trying not to wonder what his lover was doing.

~*~*~

Hermione felt strange in her body, like she was wearing an outfit that she hadn’t worn for a while, and in a way she hadn’t. It had been nearly three years since she had charmed herself to become Marcela Junix, dark arts enthusiast and onetime lover of Lucius Malfoy. She didn’t know why she had charmed herself so that he would recognize her, but she wanted to assess his state of mind before the battle.

She had it on good authority that her ’ex’ would be in Diagon Alley today and he would be on high alert with less than a week until Graduation. It was Saturday and everyone was out getting their shopping. She knew she was taking a huge risk, seeing him here; she had no guarantee that he wouldn’t try and hex her in the middle of the busy street.

She caught a glimpse of platinum hair, and her heart started to pound with the adrenalin rushing through her body for various reasons. She stayed out of view as she watched him striding confidently from one shop to another. He was tall and broad shouldered, his blonde hair tied back with a black velvet ribbon, his heavy cloak held together with the serpent clasp, he was certainly a sight to behold. Then she saw something out of the corner of her eye and for a second thought it was Severus, she swung around only to find that there was no one there. As she moved to turn back, strong hands caught her arms behind her and a familiar voice said

\"Well, well, I can honestly say that I never thought I would see you again.\"

She mentally cursed herself for being caught off guard and letting her mind wander off the job. \"Hello Lucius.\" She said, adopting her alias‘s husky voice and desperately trying to think on her feet.

\"Hello Marcela, mind if I ask what in the hell you are doing here, before I kill you?\"

\"I am getting my things in order and I am leaving the country Lucius, I am surprised that you are not doing the same,\" she said quietly.

Lucius, ever paranoid since their tryst took the bait \"Why, why would I want to leave the country?\" He asked in a low voice.

\"I hea heard things, bad things. The war is coming to an end, the light will triumph over the dark, I do not want to be here when they start looking for people who practice the dark arts,\" she said, her voice wavering.

\"The dark will win this war Marcela,\" said Lucius, snarling, \"and why are you running, you are an auror, are you not?\"

\"No, I’m not Lucius. That is what I tried to tell you before you attempted to take my life. I wanted to join the dark lord, I knew I was ready,\" she paused. \"But you did not give me chance.\" She prayed that he was falling for it and after a moment he released her hands. She silently let out the breath she had been holding and turned around. She looked up at him and smiled. \"I have to go Lucius, but it was good to see you again,\" she said.

\"Stay Marcela, I can protect you.\" he said seriously.

\"No you can’t,\" she said, \"I am leaving.\"

He took her hand and placed a kiss on it. She had just started to pull away when he yanked her arm and subsequently her body, toward him. She stumbled a little but kept her composure, until he grabbed her chin and forced her face up to his. He crushed his mouth against hers and then, just for a moment, she remembered why she had once let an opportunity to track a high ranking Deatheater, get so out of control. He still took her breath away. Suddenly, the image of Severus standing in the room of requirements sadly watching as she left, came to her and she quickly pulled away.
\"I will see you again Lucius,\" she said, gathering her wits about her, \"so" Wi" With that she apparated to the safety of her flat, sinking down onto the sofa and wondering what the hell had just happened.

~*~*~


\"Well, that wasn’t so bad was it?\" said Ginny quietly, handing Severus a large Firewhiskey.

\"Well, as I have stopped shaking, I would have to agree with you Miss Weasley,\" said Severus, gulping down the alcohol. An hour ago they had apparated at the mark’s signal to Malfoy Manor. Although Voldemort had accepted Severus’s excuses and explanations for his absence, he was still subjected to three rounds of the Cruatius curse for his transgression.
All the Death eaters were in attece ace and were now drinking, in what would be the last social situation for any of them before the battle. Severus, Ginny and Draco stayed close together in the corner of the ballroom, none of them wanting to engage in conversation with the men and women they would be fighting against the following week.

Lucius Malfoy approached them, drink in hand and smiled. Ginny noticed for the first time Lucius reminded her of the time she had seen a picture of a shark, sharp teeth and dead eyes.

\"Good evening, Draco, Virginia and my old friend Severus. It is so good to have you back, we had feared that you would not return and that we would have to find someone else to lower the wards,\" he said casually, reaching out his hand to the professor.

Severus appraised the man carefully. It was the first time he had seen him since the revelation that Hermione had been his mystery woman. The urge to rip his throat out for hurting her, for even touching her was overwhelming. Instead he grasped the deatheater’s hand. \"Well I am here now Lucius, so you can rest easy,\" he said with a slight sneer.

\"The dark lord has excused the three of you for the rest of the evening, he feels that you should be back ae sce school with your eyes and ears open,\" all three spies feigned disappointment and Lucius smirked. \"Do not worry though, soon enough there will be no school left.\"

As they turned to go Lucius called out \"Severus, would you join me for a night cap before you leave?\"

Severus, not wanting to upset Lucius, who was obviously in Voldemort’s good graces, nodded to the young couple to go ahead. He turned back to Lucius gesturing for him to lead the way.

Lucius closed the doors to his study and poured them both a generous glass of brandy each. Sitting across from Severus in front of the fireplace his countenance changed immediately and he looked genuinely concerned, \"Are we going to win Severus, or is the light going to triumph and leave us to die?\"

Severus started, almost spilling his brandy. He had never seen or heard the man in front of him so unsure of himself. This demanded further investigation. \"What the hell are youkingking about Lucius, have you lost your mind?\" He said angrily. \"If the dark lord hears you talking that way you’ll be dead before you can say Avada Kedavra!\"

\"So you haven’t heard anything then, anything we should be worried about? Some advantage that the light has over us?\"

Severus frowned; something had spooked Lucius quite badly. \"No, nothing, just Dumbledore’s pathetic speeches. What has bought this on Lucius?\"

\"I saw Marcela Junix today in Diagon Alley,\" he , st, staring into the fire.

\"Who?\" asked Severus.

\"The woman I was seeing a couple of years ago, the one who almost killed me, remember?\" said Lucius

Severus felt his heart stop in his chest. Lucius had seen Hermione? It couldn’t have been, could it? \"You are sure it was her, you spoke to her?\" He asked, his calm voice shielding the pain and fear inside him.

\"I did more than talk to her Severus,\" said Lucius quietly.

\"What do you mean?\" whispered Severus, his voice failing him.

\"Come on Severus, we are both adults here. But it doesn’t matter now anyway, she is leaving the country. It turns out she wasn’t an auror after all and is scared for her life.\"

Severus rose from the chair on numb legs. \"I have to return to the school Lucius,\" he said in a harsh voice leaving the blonde wizard staring into the fire.

He would later not be able to recall apparating to the school gates or walking to his rooms. All he knew was what she had done, and that he would never forgive her for it.


Thanks to:

Zephyr: You will see how it ends soon enough! Thanks for the chats xx

Nesscafe: I’m glad you liked it. I love to write the sad angsty stuff!! xx

Deblovesdragon: I have taken your vote into consideration!! Zephyr is pushing for fluff as well, you’ll just have to wait and see!! xx

Deb: Thank you so much, I’m really thrilled that it touched you so strongly (I actually upset myself while writing it!) And thank you for your unwavering support, you are one in a million, and you will be the first to know when I start the sequel xx

Wizardingangel: lol!! I will. Thanks for the review!! xx

RedWritingHood: I really am harsh on them aren’t I? But then, that’s love for ya!! xx

PotionsMistressM: You bloody drama queen!!!!! But thank you anyway!! I’m just getting you back for all the tears your story has brought to my eyes!! Love ya xx


Nearly there folks!!

Two to go and then this epic story is done!!

I live for your reviews, they truly mean the world to me, Thank you.

Check out my LJ for updates
http://www.livejournal.com/users/grrarrg0908/

Kisses
GrrArrg