Jaded

JADED

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.

I love you Dragon and Kat.

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Chapter Thirty-two: Smack that baby, make him pee
(A very interesting collaboration between David Bowie and Love. Wonder what Bowie would make of it…)

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'Ron, there's something I need to tell you. You remember when Draco and I went on…' No, not Draco, Harry thought furiously to himself. Malfoy, to Ron Draco would always be 'Malfoy' preferably with a couple of derogatory insults thrown in the mix. Harry rubbed his forehead and tried again,

'When Malfoy and I got this 'detention' together? Well, it wasn’t really a detention…' Harry wanted to scream. He knocked his head furiously on the back of his seat. How the hell was he supposed to explain to Ron what happened to him in the last… Gods, he couldn't even comprehend the timeline himself. Harry's jaw dropped in shock when he realized that his seventh year had been extended in whole eight months! Bloody hell, it was like repeating his last year in full… That was so unfair.

Harry leaned his forehead against the cold glass of the train window, letting the view pass him in a blur of green and blue. This morning he had made up his mind to tell Ron everything as soon as possible, mainly because they were going to share a room in Grimauld Place for the rest of the summer and probably longer, as per Voldemort's whim.

Hiding a romance in Hogwarts was hard, but possible, especially if one wasn’t doing much to begin with. Having to hide it in a house that was big enough to cause Uncle Vernon to drool with envy but was no way near the size of Hogwarts castle was damn near impossible, especially when what seemed to be the entire Weasley clan plus Hermione and who knows how many members of the order of the phoenix were going to be there on a pretty much regular basis…

Harry rubbed his forehead tiredly, already feeling depressed at the thought of having to spend the next couple of months dreading the second someone found out about him and Remus and chaos would ensue.

"Harry, everything alright?" Harry turned his head and gave Ginny a small smile,

"I'm fine, just a little tired." Ginny gave him a sultry smile, her eyes glinting,

"Yeah, I heard you never came back to the dorms last night…" Harry rolled his eyes and tried to bite back a groan, great, it hasn't been even five hours and the entire tower already seemed to know what he's been up to. He turned his head to window again, hoping that Ginny would get the subtle hint and leave him be. Luckily, Dean had just stepped into their compartment and Ginny turned to him with a blinding smile. Harry caught Seamus' eye and the latter gave him a little smirk, Harry returned it with a lopsided smile of his own and rose from his seat, suddenly feeling restless.

He stepped out of the compartment, not knowing where to go next. He wanted to just break into a run and not stop until he dropped down from exhaustion, but that would be a little hard to do in a moving train so he simply walked to the end of the train, where the carriages were less crowded and just stood and stared out of the corridor’s window.

“I think you just missed a cow there.” Harry nearly jumped out of his skin at feeling the purring voice brushing against his ear, he turned around slowly and smiled weakly at Remus,

“Hey.”

“Is everything alright?” Remus asked with concern, refusing to even acknowledge that Harry’s foul mood might have anything to do with what had taken place the night before, “You look troubled.” Harry sighed and slumped his forehead against the window,

“I’m just thinking about how I’m going to tell Ron. I don’t even know where to start…” Remus let out a sigh he wasn’t aware he was holding, this was a sort of crisis he was willing to deal with.

“Hermione knows, how did you tell her?” Harry let out a humourless chuckle,

“Wrote her a note.”

“Well, that’s not very personal is it?” Even someone as bookish as Hermione deserved to be talked to every once in a while.

“No, I mean we wrote her a note back in the seventies.” Harry explained, “And we hid it in one of the library books so she already knew about that when we came back. And, well…” He lowered his head and refused to look at Remus, “She saw I was a bit low and asked what was wrong. Ron still thinks I was upset over having to spend three days with Draco…” Remus wanted more than anything to pull Harry into his arms and never let go, but the risk was too great, especially in a train full of people, so he wrapped his arms around himself, leaning his back against the glass.

“Hermione was always a lot more perceptive than Ron.” He said, for the lack of a better thing to say. A long pause stretched between them, neither quite sure what to add to the subject of telling Ron the truth. Remus knew the importance of friends’ support and therefore was all for Harry telling Ron the truth, on the other hand, knowing the red-headed Weasley and how strongly he felt about Draco Malfoy, Remus also knew this was not going to be easy. Truth be told, he did not envy his boyfriend one bit. A soft smile spread on his face when the thought the word ‘boyfriend’ gods, it’s been so long since he had one, so long since he’d even tried to find one.

Harry chanced a glance at Remus, seeing the little smile tugging at his lips and let himself warm on it, even though he wasn’t completely sure what brought it on,

“So, are we still on?” Remus shot him a quick look, but before he could launch into a rant about the state of their relationship Harry pressed on, “For today, I mean.”

Remus caught himself just in time, he really ought to stop stressing out whenever Harry said something odd. The old wounds of Jaime’s sudden departure had been reopened last night and he had to work extra hard to assure himself that Harry wasn’t going to up and leave him again.

“Yes, of course. I think that while we’re at it we should get you some new clothes as well. Those rags will not do anymore.” He said, somewhat haughtily, channelling Sirius for a brief second, while eyeing Harry’s oversized jeans and tee-shirt disapprovingly.

“Why? Are you planning on showing me off?” Harry teased, turning so that he was imitating Remus’ posture,

“No,” Remus shook his head, “I plan to perv on you and therefore those horrid jeans must go!” Harry smiled happily, he would have Remus perving over his arse any day of the week,

“Ok, but that can go both ways, you know.” Remus opened his mouth for a quick retort but did a double take,

“What do you mean?”

“We’re getting you new grabs as well. This horrid cardigan must go!” He chirped, tilting his head, and Remus pulled a face at him, a little miffed at being mimicked.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that my cardigans make me look schooled and sophisticated.” He said, raising his nose up to the sky and Harry snickered,

“They make you look 106 years old! Even Dumbledore is more fashionable than you are!”

“Oh, so you want me to start wearing purple robes with little silver stars on them?” Harry laughed out right at Remus’ pouty expression,

“You know damn well what I want you to wear…” He purred huskily, and Remus’ felt his cheeks flushing and his arousal growing. He wasn’t holding too well against Harry’s teasing two weeks ago and he was doing much worse now. A couple of chatty first years came hobbling by, carrying an assortment of sweets from the trolley and Remus took the opportunity to turn and fix his gaze out of the window, letting the scenery cure any inappropriate thoughts.

“Harry, I will not wear leather to class!” He hissed, a little more viciously than he planed, but Harry didn’t seem at all fazed. He wasn’t going back to school next year, he didn’t need to keep face in front of the lot and therefore he didn’t have much qualms about teasing his wolf to death.

“How about in your private quarters, just for me?” Before Remus had time to respond to this a happy cry was heard,

“Hey Harry, what’s going on?” Both Harry and Remus spun to see Hermione walking towards them, balancing easily with the trains movement. She hesitated for a brief second at seeing the two together but pressed on nonetheless, “Why aren’t you in the compartment with the rest of the group?” Remus narrowed his eyes at the girl, must she be so meddlesome all the time?

“Hello professor Lupin.” Hermione added sweetly and Remus groaned,

“Please, Hermione, I’m no longer your teacher, call me Remus.” Hermione smiled sheepishly, even if she really wanted she’d never be able to call any of her teachers anything other than ‘Professor’, though Remus was the one she might actually make an effort for,

“I’m sorry, prof… Remus, it’s just going to take a little getting use to.” Remus wanted to roll his eyes, that’s what you get when you take a student for a lover, you have to deal with his friends as well, he told himself.

“It’s not that difficult. Harry does it all the time.” He flashed his boyfriend a quick smile and they both completely missed the mischievous glint in Hermione’s eye,

“Oh, I bet he does, especially when he’s crying out your name as you pound into him.” She said with the most innocent smile. Harry’s face turned beet-red in a space of a heartbeat and he cried out,

“Hermione!”

Remus was leaning against the window, his body wracked with waves of laughter, and Hermione looked very pleased with herself. Harry tried to glare at them both but that had no effect as neither was looking at him so he reversed to sulking in the corner.

“Oh, gods,” Remus whizzed, whipping happy tears from his eyes, “Thank you for that Miss Granger, I haven’t had such a good laugh in quite a while.” Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance and Remus peered around the corridor before he dropped a quick kiss on his pouting lips, trying to mollify his embarrassed lover. “I’ll see you later.” He whispered and made his way down the corridor, humming happily to himself. Harry turned to window again, determined to give Hermione the silence treatment for her cheek.

“Oh, come off it Harry!” She cried after a while, still smiling. She placed a hand over his upper arm, trying to get him to look at her but her refused stubbornly,

“I cannot believe you said that in front of him!” He hissed at her,

“But I was right, wasn’t I?”

“That’s hardly the point!”

“You’re so cute when you’re all flushed…” Hermione cooed at him and tried to pinch his cheek, but Harry slapped her hand away,

“I’m not cute!” He snapped at her, which only served to please Hermione further.

“Of course not. Have you spoken to Ron yet?” Harry pressed his forehead against the glass, part of him was glad that Hermione stopped teasing him but most of him resented her chosen topic,

“No, not yet. I just don’t know what to say to him.” He confessed quietly. This whole Ron thing was rapidly turning into a monster for Harry. He felt that with each passing day that he wasn’t coming clean to Ron was becoming harder and harder to approach the subject and as a result he felt like he was drifting apart from his best friend and Harry hated feeling like that.

“Well, I’d start with the whole going back to the past bit. Telling him how you met your parents will soften the blow.” Hermione suggested,

“Great, play for his pity before I tell him Draco and I are friends and that I’m shagging Remus.”

“Oh, right, I completely forgot about the Malfoy bit.” Hermione giggled to herself and Harry rolled his eyes, feeling even worse than he did before if that was possible. Hermione sighed and gave her best friend a comforting smile, “Harry, you give Ron far too much credit, you know what he’s like. He‘s going to blow his top off and then cool right back down in a space of two seconds. You’re just working yourself over nothing. Ron wants to see you happy just like we all do.” Harry let himself bask in her comforting words for a second, letting himself hope that things are going to turn just right,

“Yeah, I hope you’re right.” He said with a soft sigh and turned to look out of the window again. Now that Ron was out of the conversation, the previous one that took place came flooding back, tinting Harry’s cheeks pink when he thought of Hermione’s words. In order to pray himself from the embarrassing memories he decided to think about what he was going to insist on getting for Remus this afternoon. Remus would look brilliant in fitting jeans and tees naturally, but Harry wasn’t worried about them, he was trying to think of the more… enjoyable things he could put Remus in, and hopefully take out of just as fast.

Leather was the obvious choice, they’ve been dancing around the subject of leather so much lately it was surprising they didn’t own at least six pairs of leather trousers each by now. The thought of leather brought back his fantasy, and the way Remus was meant to look before the wolf interrupted him with his little wardrobe demands. Not really able to stop the smile from creeping over his face Harry started to hum softly,

“I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry,
What could I do?
My baby's love had gone
And left my baby blue,”

He looked sideways at Hermione who gave him a bright smile in return, joining in with enthusiasm,
”Nobody knew:
What kind of magic spell to use?”

The two Gryffindors were standing with their backs to the window, swaying from side to side and alternating to course between them, not caring one bit of someone saw them,

”Slime and snails,”
”Or puppy dogs' tails,”
”Thunder or lightning,”
”Then baby said,
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me,
Slap that baby, make him pee!”

Hermione stopped singing abruptly, her face turning red with suppressed laughter,

“Did you just say pee?” Harry blanched a little,

“No…” He said in forced casualty, trying to defy the laws of nature and not turn red as a tomato at seeing Hermione’s laughing face.

“You did! You just sang, ‘slap that baby, make him pee!’” She cried joyfully and broke down in a fit of giggles, while Harry slumped to the floor rolling his eyes and pouting fiercely,

“Everyone is so determined to make fun of me today…” He complained loudly to the world in general, or rather, to the compartment door he was facing. Hermione whipped her eyes, sliding down to sit next to him,

“Oh, gods I’m sorry. But to be honest, I like your version a lot more than the original one…”

“Glad I could amuse you.” Harry answered dryly but he was forced to bite the inside of his cheek not to succumb to laughter himself.

“You’re so cute when you pout.” Hermione said with a happy smile and Harry rolled his eyes, falling into her trap easily,

“I’m not cute! Stop saying that!”

“Silly me, of course you’re not cute, you’re a burly, brute of a man, chewing tobacco and spitting black, with a five o’clock shadow and grabbing your balls at every opportunity.” Harry sneered at her,

“Why do I even bother to talk to you?”

“Because you’re too much of a chicken to talk to Ron.” Hermione answered easily. Before Harry had time to comment on that she jumped to her feet, “Oops, I better get a move on, I have to make sure all the first years are off the train safely.” Harry pulled himself slowly up the wall,

“Relax, Moine, we graduated last night, you’re no longer Head Girl.” Hermione turned to fixed him with one of her ‘Actually…’ stares,

“Actually, Harry, according to the Hogwarts prefects’ rules of conduct, chapter 12 sub-section 5a the position of Head Boy and Head Girl terminate only when all children have left the train at Kings’-cross station.”

“You actually read that conduct manual?” Harry asked in disbelief, Ron showed him the thing once, it was heavy enough to give any teenager a hernia if they ever tried to lift it. Hermione fixed him with a glare and Harry waved his hand, “Never mind, forget I asked. Go and do your duty, oh, esteemed Head Girl.” Hermione walked over the door at the end of the carriage, turning just before she closed it behind her,

“Try not smack the pee out of any babies on your way to the platform.” She said happily and her laughter rang in the hall as she dodged a mild stinging hex Harry send at her wake.
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Harry looked outside, seeing the magical part of Kings’-cross station, better known as platform 9 and ¾ rolling into view. All around him people were taking trunks off the shelves and preparing to depart. From some reason Harry didn’t feel like getting off the train. It suddenly dawned on him that this was his last trip on the ‘Hogwarts Express’. This would be the last time he would ever have to cross the magical barrier between platforms 9 and 10. The thought made him a little blue, he loved Hogwarts- his first and so far only true home, at least up until now he knew that though he had to go back to the Dursleys house every year there was always the promise of returning to Hogwarts at the end of things. Now he didn’t have to see the Dursleys ever again, which was a real blessing, but on the other hand, he would no longer see Hogwarts either.

When the train pulled to a screeching stop at the platform Harry stood and watched from the window as the student started to spill out of the train, each running to greet their parents. His friends were all trying to get to the exit in a jumble of bodies and trunks, crying out their goodbyes and promising to meet as soon as possible.

A pair of strong arms circulated his waist and Harry leaned back in silent thanks. He leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder, not willing to let go, even if someone saw them.

“Having a hard time saying goodbye?” Harry nodded silently and Remus echoed his sentiment. He remembered the last trip he had on the same train as a student. He too was feeling lost when it came to its end. “Do you have your invisibility cloak around?” He asked, pressing a soft kiss to Harry’s neck,

“Of course I do.”

“Not in the bottom of your trunk I hope.” Harry smiled and shook his head,

“It’s in my satchel.”

“Good, then take it out.” Harry turned slightly in their embrace and looked questioningly at Remus,

“Why?”

“Because I want to make a fast retreat from the station. I don’t want anyone to try and stop us.” Harry looked at the platform, feeling a ping of alarm growing in him,

“Are there any death eaters around?” He asked in a hushed tone, but Remus chuckled,

“Hardly. I was thinking of avoiding Molly.” Harry let out a sigh of relief, which turned into a chuckle,

“I’m glad you’re as scared of her as the rest of us. Gives me hope for the future.” Remus responded by slapping his arse playfully, and Harry turned to catch his lips in a kiss.

“We better be off before Hermione barge in to see if anyone was left on board.” Remus suggested and Harry nodded his head. He pulled the cloak from his satchel and donned it on.
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The way out of the station was relatively hassle-free, and soon Harry packed his cloak in his bag again, ready to discover all the wonders London had to offer. As it turned out neither Harry nor Remus knew where to turn first, as neither of them was ever in the habit of buying clothes for themselves. Remus because he never had enough money to just splurge on himself and Harry because he never had a chance to indulge in new clothes. And so after careful deliberation they just started wondering about, scanning shop-windows in hopes of seeing something they liked.

After a few hours passed in that manner, Harry’s feet were killing him, not to mention his arms were heavy from the shopping bags he was hurling around. He never knew it was possible to shop so much. His bags were full with jeans, in all shapes and designs, cargo-pants and dress-slacks, tee-shirts in all colours and prints, dress-shirts and singlets, socks, underpants, jackets, a pair of heavy boots and two pairs of trainers and even a bag from the sex-shop they accidentally stumbled upon and its contents still made Harry blush. Remus was carrying just as many bags as Harry was, but he didn’t look tired at the least. Not a lot of people knew (in fact, only Lily did) but Remus loved shopping. He loved to try on different clothes, even if he knew for a fact he would never buy any of them. Outrageous colours, impossibly tight cuts and shocking outfits were his joy.

He was quite grateful for Sirius to leave him a big portion of his vault. Every time Remus took any money out of his vault he sent a silent prayer of thanks to his friend. After he and Harry agreed upon getting a tattoo, Remus sent an urgent owl to Gringotts, requesting one of them plastic card the muggles were so fond of using so that he could pay for the tattoos. Luckily his request was granted that same day (the goblins liked to help those who had lots of galleons in their vaults).

At Harry’s insistence, borderline whining, Remus relented and they took a break, stopping in some small tea-house for a cup of hot tea and some chocolate tort. Harry was so glad to be giving his tired feet some rest, and hoped they could just go get the tattoos from there before he lost his guts completely. As much as his feet hurt he loved spending time with Remus, just the two of them, like a normal couple on a day out. Not once during their day did he think of death eaters or Voldemort. For a few hours Harry felt… Normal.

After the tea, Harry led Remus to the tattoo parlour where he got his piercing the summer before. Before they could enter, though, Remus pulled Harry to a nearby alley and insisted on placing a numbing charm over his back. Harry then turned his lover around and repaid the favour. Together they stepped into the shop, Harry clasping Remus’ hand tight when he heard the buzzing of the needles.

It took them nearly an hour to explain what they wanted and for the tattoo artist to present them with a sketch they approved. It took almost two hours to work on each one of them. Harry was lying spread-eagle on the chair, hearing the buzz but not feeling any of the pain. His brain was going numb from the constant buzzing and he nearly drifted off a couple of times but each time Remus’ squeezed his hand hard to bring him back to reality and Harry winced. It would not do to fall asleep on the table in the middle of what was surely one of the most painful processes he would endure if it wasn’t for his lover’s soft heart.

After all was said and done, Harry and Remus left the tattoo shop, their backs decorated with big white bands and a list-full of instructions on how to take care of their new tattoos. Outside the sun was already setting behind the tall buildings and the air was losing some of his day’s warmth. It was time to go to Grimauld Place and inevitably face Molly’s wrath for being out for nearly seven hours. They shrank their bags and placed them in Harry’s satchel along with their shrunken trunks and then Harry donned on his invisibility cloak, before he wrapped his arms around Remus and they both apparated to the little square just off 12 Grimauld Place.
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Harry and Remus crept slowly towards their destination. Harry hated having to use his cloak just in case there were death eaters watching over the house. As soon as he felt the wards shimmering around him at the door he pulled it off rebelliously. Remus took a deep breath and placed his hand on the door-knob. Death eaters were the last of his concerns at the moment.
As soon as the door closed behind their backs, a red head pocked from the kitchen entryway, followed by the rest of Molly who was not pleased at all.

“Where on earth have you been?” She screeched, completely forgetting about Mrs. Black’s portrait. Before Remus had a chance to defend himself the portrait started to wail loudly, yelling about mudbloods and blood-traitors in the ancient and noble house of Black. Remus tried to ignore the portrait’s wails and turned to Molly who looked perfectly at ease with the screeching going on around, as if she was drawing strength from it for her righteous cause,

“I sent you an owl, Molly, you know damn well that we went shopping for clothes for Harry.” He explained. Molly, however didn’t seem too pleased with the answer,

“How long does it take to get a bloody wardrobe? You’ve been gone for over seven hours! It’s almost dinner time!” Remus took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. It was so hard to think over the noise in the hall, and having everyone in the house drifting to the entryway by the noise of Mrs. Black’s portrait was not helping Remus’ mood one bit,

“Molly…”

“Anything could have happened to you, you could have been caught by the forces of darkness! Do you not think before you act Remus? These are dangerous times we live in! It would not do for the two of you to gallivanting around London unprotected for a bloody shopping spree!”

“We were perfectly safe!” Remus cried back, annoyed that his ability to protect Harry was put to question, not to mention the accusation that he would put Harry in deliberate danger just for his materialistic whims. “You seem to forget that I am a fully qualified professor for Defence against the Dark Art, and Harry was the leader of the DA!”
While Remus and Molly were sparing Harry watched the portrait, wailing and yelling,

“Blood-traitors! Mudbloods and blood-traitors in my house! This is his fault, that foul and traitorous, devil spawned boy! It’s a good thing he no longer lives to pollute our blood-line further!” Harry’s chest tightened with the anger at the unjust words. Sirius was good man, he made some mistakes in his life but he was a good person- something that could not be said for his mother,

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG! DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT SIRIUS LIKE THIS!” Everyone present turned to look at Harry, including Mrs. Black. For a long second the scene seemed to be frozen, everyone too shocked to speak and then Mrs. Black sniffed loudly, heaving her buxom bosom and shutting her curtains with a snap, obviously insulted to the core of her being. The sudden silence of the hall was broken by Fred’s soft whisper to his brother,

“Gods, if we knew all it took to shut the old wench was to yell at her, I’d have done it ages ago.” Remus used Molly’s moment of distraction to brush past her and push his way upstairs. It took Harry a moment to get his head around what was going on, his mind still reeling with his anger over Mrs. Black’s words. When he turned his head he saw that Remus was gone and a angry Molly herded her children towards the kitchen.

Harry caught Hermione’s eye and she signalled for him that Remus went upstairs with a tilt of her head. Harry flashed her a quick smile before he took the steps two at the time, climbing to the second floor and coming to a halt in front of Sirius’ old bedroom, which Remus declared his own after Sirius’ death. He contemplated knocking on the door for a second but decided against it and simply pushed it open. Remus was pacing the length of the room, still fuming.

“Remus…” Harry said softly, his back leaning against the closed door. Remus veered and fixed him with a scorching stare,

“I cannot believe the audacity of that woman!” He complained loudly, “She still think that you’re a bloody eleven-years old who can’t even fend for himself! ‘Poor little Harry, so pure and innocent, bloody butter wouldn’t melt on his tongue’,” He said in high-pitched voice, mimicking Molly Weasley rather badly, “Ha! If she only saw you last night, on your bloody hands and knees, begging for my cock, she wouldn’t be so quick to think you’re so innocent!” Harry took a deep breath, stopping himself from responding to Remus’ tongue-lash with the same tone,

“Funny, you’re mad at Molly, and yet I’m the one getting all the heat.” He said quietly and Remus stopped mid-stride and looked at his boyfriend for a long moment before he rushed to him and gathered Harry to him,

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… I’m sorry.” He mumbled into Harry’s shoulder, his whole body wracked with penitence. Harry smiled softly and patted his wolf’s back,

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” He pushed Remus back a little and kissed his solidly on the lips. “Let’s go to dinner.” Remus nodded, but refused to let go of Harry,

“Are you alright? You’re not in pain, are you?” Harry shook his head,

“No, the numbing spell you put on me works like a charm. I reckon I have a couple of hours more before I start to feel it.” Remus nodded, and held out his hand for Harry to take.
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A/N: Thank you Athenian Grace, and especially Love for the awesome ‘Smack that baby, make him pee’, it made me so happy all day long, I just had to put it in.

In case you were wondering why Remus was on the train- teachers don’t have an obligation to go on the train and he only did because he and Harry had plans. You were hoping for a more interesting explanation, I know…