Through the Looking Glass ~ COMPLETED

Chapter 32 ~ Two Topics for Discussion

”From the very first, your counterpart was manipulative and willing to do anything to ‘get her way.’ As you are aware, their culture and rules are much different than our own, and I learned of this listening to her and the Headmaster speak. When we were left alone in the Headmaster’s office, she implored me for assistance since I was a Slytherin. She was quite . . . persuasive and I agreed to speak to her further on the matter.”

”So she latched on to you because you were familiar?” Hermione asked him.

Snape smirked.

”Familiarity had little to do with it. She was less than complimentary about my counterpart. She considered him weak and beneath her. She wouldn’t ‘engage’ him as she did other teachers. She was attracted to me because . . . of my obvious dark nature and my house affiliation. She preferred it.”

”How did she persuade you?” Hermione asked him curiously. Snape was very hard to talk to in most circumstances, although it was surprisingly easy to talk to him now. It was clear he wasn’t going to be dirty about this situation. Thank the gods.

”Let’s just say she took the hands-on approach, which definitely got my attention,” the wizard purred.

Hermione colored as she realized the implications of this.

”In . . . in the Headmaster’s office?” she said in disbelief.

”It’s where we were at the time, Miss Granger,” Snape replied.

There was a heavy silence between them.

”We had another brief encounter where she wished me to supply her with potions to protect herself,” Snape continued.

”A healer’s bag,” Hermione breathed. “Everyone carried them.”

Snape nodded.

”Again, we ‘bartered,'" Snape purred. “She promised to engage me fully if she was moved to Slytherin house. She was moved, and we engaged the following night. That was the night you returned and asked me for the After Sex potion. It appears our ‘trysts’ coincided.”

”Yes. Yes, it does,” Hermione said softly, looking down at her hands for a moment, preparing herself to ask the next question.

”Professor, did your time with my counterpart affect you in any manner? I mean, was there a real attraction or was it just . . . sexual? Business as usual? Something you found easy to walk away from?”

Snape considered his answer carefully.

”It certainly was not business as usual, Miss Granger. I have few opportunities to enjoy the attention of witches, particularly sexually liberated witches like your counterpart. She was aggressive and forward, without scruples. Sex was a tool for her. I was affected, but not in a good way, I’m afraid. Her actions angered me. She made a pass at Draco even before we engaged, the first morning after she entered Slytherin house. I realized that was her way, but I found it hard to accept. I felt there should have been some loyalty to me, being that I helped her. Instead, she made it clear I had served my purpose by getting her into Slytherin house and our first engagement would be our last.”

Snape’s face contorted slightly.

”I didn’t take that well either,” he said in a low voice.

”You felt used,” Hermione said softly.

”Yes,” Snape agreed, then his eyes hardened. “As I usually am by those around me. It was just that in this case I could get a little of my own back. Our tryst was nothing like yours, Miss Granger. It appears each ‘Snape’ treated his version of you . . . accordingly.”

“Accordingly?” Hermione repeated, her brown eyes resting on him. She had a little blush playing around her cheeks.

”Yes. Accordingly. Your counterpart was heartless, manipulative and out to get all she could from whoever she decided could provide it. After she received what she wanted, she tossed him aside. So . . . I treated her in the same manner, but physically. In your case . . .”

Here the wizard’s face became less pinched.

”In your case, Miss Granger, my counterpart found a nervous, passionate young woman in need of comfort. One of good character, a sense of fairness, and a weakness for perceived nobility. You were ‘grateful’ for what he went through on your behalf and attracted to him. You acted within the framework of the established norm, not outside of it. Your interaction with my counterpart was what it should have been under the circumstances,” Snape said softly.

”It meant nothing to him,” Hermione said a bit bitterly.

”My interactions with your counterpart also meant nothing to her. I was simply a means to an end,” the Potions master said quietly. “But in retrospect, we can’t judge them too harshly, Miss Granger. After all, we willingly engaged them, knowing the differences between our world and theirs before we did so. We just weren’t ready for it.”

Snape met her eyes.

”Miss Granger, interactions of such an intimate nature mean something in our world, and we are both products of the environment in which we were raised. Although I am no stranger to the occasional casual encounter, this was something quite different. Sustained. Your counterpart was a witch I had interactions with more than once, and who attracted me greatly in a short period of time. Even I am not made of stone, Miss Granger. And I know you are not.”

Hermione had one more question to ask about her counterpart.

”Professor, if it were possible for you to have a relationship with my counterpart, would you have done it?” she asked him.

”I doubt it, Miss Granger. Despite her skills, she was less than desirable for anything more than a physical tryst here and there,” he stated flatly. “She lacked character and moral fiber.”

Hermione studied him, then said softly, “You know, Professor, there are more than a few people who would say the same about you.”

Snape arched an eyebrow at her.

”Which makes it even more imperative that if I did indeed have a relationship with a witch, it would be with one of strong character and moral fiber. I don’t need one as callous as I am perceived to be. Now . . . if that Miss Granger had been you . . .”

Snape hesitated at the shocked look on Hermione’s face, then scowled blackly.

”Not that I EVER entertained such an idea,” he snapped at her. “You were not on my radar at all, Miss Granger. Not a jot or diddle. I heartily assure you of that!”

Hermione relaxed a bit. Now he sounded like the professor Snape she was familiar with.

”But, a witch of your character would be far more preferable. As irritating as Gryffindors are, there are qualities among the witches that I find . . . appealing.”

Snape looked rather disgusted with himself at this admission and quickly added, “
I chalk it up as a very severe personality flaw. A sort of psychological oxymoron in my nature. A weakness that has already cost me much . . . ”

Snape’s voice faded as he momentarily thought about Lily Evans, Harry’s mother who married James Potter. He had loved her for much of his young life, but she didn’t return his affections. She was his “friend” until she ended their association in his fifth year because she couldn’t forgive his outburst of impotent rage when targeted by James and his friends.

Yes, Lily had all the proper Gryffindor qualities. Too bad she hadn’t applied them to him. In the end, she preferred the popular, handsome, shallow, could-do-no-wrong Potter.

Snape frowned slightly.

”You were involved with a Gryffindor at one time, Professor?” Hermione asked him, amazed.

Snape started, his face contorting as he snarled at Hermione for the audacity of her question.

”No! I wasn’t! None of that matters. I was just stating . . . I should have never . . . Just forget it, Miss Granger. Now, I’ve told you about my association with your counterpart. Are you satisfied?” he growled at her, wishing to end this conversation now that Lily had popped back into his head.

Hermione slowly nodded, feeling less troubled now. It seemed she and Snape had something in common concerning their interactions with their counterparts. There had been a feeling of being used in both cases. Apparently the professor had managed to work out his feelings physically. Hermione didn’t have that closure. But at least . . . she didn’t feel so alone. Someone else understood how she felt. Or at least could empathize.

What was more interesting however was his confession at having a weakness for Gryffindor witches, which had to mean he had been in love with at least one. But who? She also found it interesting that he would want a witch with Gryffindor qualities, rather than Slytherin. Perhaps, perhaps the deceitful life he lived had something to do with it. There were always hidden agendas, treachery, and lies surrounding him in his dual role. He could trust no one really. It would make sense that he would want a witch he could trust and find strength in. Someone loyal, kind and brave to be by his side. Not that he said he was actively looking. How could he look for anyone being who he was?

Snape abruptly and impatiently broke through her musings.

”Good, now on to the next matter. It is going to be very tricky discussing this with you. I cannot tell you any details, but in a few days time I will be in a situation that will be important to your well-being and continued tenure among the living. I want to bring you along with me. It has to do with the message you delivered.

”You mean from T . . .” Hermione began, but stopped as Snape brought his finger to his mouth.

”Don’t speak. Listen,” he warned her, then continued. “If you consent to accompany me, you will be under the influence of a Confundus potion. It works much like the Confundus charm, except an antidote has to be given for the effects to wear off. This potion scrambles your thoughts so they cannot be accessed by Legilimency. In other words, you will both appear and be useless. This is the best possible condition you can be in, considering the situation. You will have no idea what is going on around you until I give you the antidote,” Snape said quietly. “You are going to have to trust me implicitly if you agree and ask me no questions. You must go forth blindly into the fray, Miss Granger, and I will be your only shield. Do you think you can trust me to this degree?”

Hermione stared at the pale wizard looking back at her, at his lank hair, narrowed eyes and slightly curled lip. Apparently, his mouth was held that way because he expected her to balk at his request and turn him down.

Gods, Snape looked so much like his counterpart, except he was thinner, and the harshness of his life showed on his face and in his eyes. But, she imagined if things were different, he would be as well. Maybe more like his other self. Not completely . . . but . . .
”I’m waiting, Miss Granger. Your hesitance doesn’t bode well. Will you accompany me, or won’t you?” he asked her impatiently.

”I’ll go, Professor. I trust you,” she said softly. Snape had protected them all this time from Voldemort. She had no reason to believe he wouldn’t continue to do so.

Snape nodded with approval, although he said, “I should have known you’d agree to participate in some scheme you know nothing about. That Gryffindor insanity loosely called ‘courage’ once again rises to the fore.”

Hermione was indignant immediately. How dare he insult her house? Not to mention, her.

”Well, you practically said going with you could save my life. What else was I going to say?” Hermione snapped at him, pissed that he called her bravery, insanity. “If you ask me, saying ‘no’ would have been the insanity.”

Snape’s lip quirked at her little show of temper.

”Well, I didn’t ask you, did I?” Snape replied with a slight sneer, noting her brown eyes flashing now.

”Are we finished?” Hermione asked him furiously. She wanted to get out of here before she said something she’d regret. And it wasn’t a good idea to insult the man who was trying to save your life, no matter how maddening he was.

Snape studied her, making her angrier by taking his time replying.

”Yes, we are, Miss Granger. I will retrieve you when it is time for us to go. There will only be nominal contact between us until then. You may go now,” he told the witch.

Hermione stood up and glared at the wizard, then left without a word. Her counterpart must have been crazy to do anything with the Potions master. He was completely insufferable as a person.

Snape smirked as Hermione slammed the door behind her, not moved in the least to punish her for her impertinence. She had a bit of a temper and believed in defending herself. Both good qualities. He had no respect for witches who allowed themselves to be treated like doormats.

The Potions master stood up, opened the wall that led to his private quarters, entered and prepared himself a shot of Firewhiskey. He tossed it back and rasped appreciatively, Scourgifying the glass and putting it back into the liquor cabinet. Snape felt he had handled the delicate situation concerning Hermione’s counterpart with honesty and finesse. The situation could have been more awkward than it was, but he kept it clinical and to the point.

Snape entered his bedroom and began to undress, sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling off his boots and socks. He’d promised Albus he would go to bed at a proper hour. Actually, he’d taken an oath at the wizard’s insistence. Albus wanted him well rested, hoping it would aid him in his upcoming ordeal. But just because he went to bed early, it didn’t mean he would rest well. Severus Snape was always restless, always tormented by dreams just beyond consciousness. Again, he focused on Hermione as he stood up and unfastened his robes.

He’d gotten the preliminaries out of the way with the witch. Now, if all went well and she survived the ordeal, and the wizarding world wasn’t completely upended, he could focus on his next move concerning Miss Granger. She was still a student, but his attraction to her was very strong. Some would consider his pursuit of her as a grave misuse of power, since he was her teacher and in a position of authority over the Gryffindor.

As the professor finished undressing and was ready to climb into bed, he recalled a quotation by the Muggle Thomas Huxley:

Make up your mind to act decidedly and take the consequences. No good is ever done in this world by hesitation.

”In this world or for oneself, Mr. Huxley,” the wizard said softly, sliding his nude body under the sheets.

He didn’t plan to hesitate at all.

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A/N: Snape handled that well. It could have been far more embarrassing for Hermione. Clearly, he doesn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, which is wise considering his plans for her if she survives Tom’s hex. Hopefully she will with his help. Thanks for reading.