Pranksters In Love

“Hey Potter!” Harry heard as he stepped into Diagon Alley. He had decided not to go straight home but to swing by the Quidditch Castle to see if the new Black Ione Snitch had came in yet. He had been dying to get one and try it out. It was supposed to be twice as fast as a standard snitch and he could use the challenge.

“Malfoy,” he said trying not to laugh.

Draco noticed the barely concealed smirk on Harry’s face and laughed out loud. “We’re a couple of dumb asses you know that don’t you?”

Harry roared. “I am sure if you ask the rest of the Wizarding world they would heartily agree with that assessment. Definitely not one of our finest moments.”

“Ah, but the question of the day is…Did you puke?”

Harry laughed again shaking his head, “No, did you?”

“Nah, I am a Malfoy! We don’t puke!” he said arrogantly.

Harry laughed and said, “You’re a git though.”

“Possibly.”

“Shall we try again sometime?”

Draco patted Harry on the back. “Any day, Potter, any day!”

“I was going to go look and see if Quidditch Castle has the new snitch in. You want to join me?”

“Damn! I really would love to! I have been wanting to get one also! I actually was hoping that you would come with me to Hagrids to see if he can help find his brother so that I can find my father.”

“So Lucius never came home, then?”

“No. Usually I wouldn’t worry about him, he seems to get out of what ever situation he lands himself in, but I am not sure now with the Giant being involved.”

Harry nodded his head. “Sure, I haven’t seen Hagrid in awhile anyway. Lets go!”

Draco smiled his thanks to Harry. “Shall we apparate to the Three Broomsticks?”

“Sounds good! Hey, I haven’t eaten yet today. My lunch plans kind of went array. Would you mind if we had a bite before going to Hagrids?”

“I could use a bite too.”

The two walked to the nearest apparition point and apparated to lunch.


Lucius groaned when he woke. His entire body throbbed everywhere. He wasn’t sure where he was at, but he was still tied to a bed. His hands were tied above his head with magical cords and his legs were spread apart and tied to a point he couldn’t see. He could tell that the bonds wouldn’t be released until the person who tied them released them. They were the kind that the Dark Lord and his followers favored because even those strong enough to use wand less magic could not release the ties. The worse part was that he was cold. He was cold, because he was completely naked.

“Pretty man,” he heard a deep voice say.

Lucius’ eyes flew to the doorway. It was that damn giant again. “Release me immediately, you fool!” he demanded.

The giant looked at Lucius in confusion. “Pretty man my friend,” he said.

“I beg your pardon! Do you know who I am?” he demanded. “I am Lucius Malfoy, and I can assure you that I am no friend to a giant!”

The giant looked hurt. He jabbed his finger into Lucius’ chest and said, “Pretty man Gwarp’s friend! Lady said so!”

Lucius rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe that not only was he tied up naked on a bed in a room with a retarded giant, but also that damn Rose Parkinson had told the giant that he was his friend. “The lady was wrong!”

The giant roared. “You are mine! You are my friend! I get to play with you!”

Lucius felt the first inclining of fear race through his body. He wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of the Giant playing with him.

The giant stood before Lucius a moment longer just staring at him and then he started to remove his clothes. “You will please me, pretty man,”

“What the fuck!” Lucius shouted. “I will not please you! Malfoy’s only please themselves!”

The giant stood over Lucius, grabbed a handful of his soft blond hair and said, “Suck,” as he thrust his huge cock towards Lucius’ mouth.

Lucius took one look at the arm-sized cock in front of his face and screamed in terror.

Harry and Draco stood at the steps of Hagrids hut waiting for him to answer the door. After several minutes of knocking and waiting they gave up. “I wonder where he is?” Draco said out loud.

“I don’t know. He’s usually here or somewhere closes by on the grounds. We could leave him a note and have him meet us at George and Hermione’s. They just moved into a house in the village and I have been wanting to check it out.”

“Potter, I am quite sure that Granger will not welcome me into her home!” he said.

Harry laughed. “Mione doesn’t hold any grudges. She gets mad and then half the time forgets why she was mad later. She’s always got her head buried in a book and is oblivious to everything else. She’ll welcome you, if for no other reason than to tease you about last night!”

“Oh that’s what I need, more torture! I suppose her husband will be there to join in?”

Harry barely suppressed a shudder. “Gods, I hope not!” he said thinking of that morning. “Perhaps we can skip Mione’s this time around and go back to the Three Broomsticks and have a butter beer and wait.”

“I don’t know if I can handle anymore alcohol today, Potter.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at Draco. “Is the great Draco Malfoy afraid to drink?”

“I am not afraid of the alcohol, I am afraid of my wife! If I come home drunk and can’t consummate this marriage again tonight she will have my balls!”

Harry laughed. He knew what it meant to have a pissed off wife. “Yeah, ok, we’ll do it another time.”

“So hey, what’s going on with you and Felicia?”

“I’ll need a fire whiskey to tell you that story!” he groaned.

“How about we sit here and you tell me about it?”

“Might as well, I can’t seem to get it off my mind anyway.” Harry told Draco about his experience from start to finish with Felicia. He explained about the aphrodisiac potion and the consequences. He also told Draco how he felt about revealing what had really transpired. He then went a step further and told him about what Ginny had done.

“Man, Harry, that’s tough!”

Harry nodded his head. “I’m not sure how to trust another woman. They all seem to want something from me. They want my status, or they want my body, or my money, but none of them really want me. They all lie and scheme to get what they want. Why can’t they just come up and say “I want to shag you,” or “I want to go out with you so people notice me because of who you are,” They all have some alterior motive.”

Draco nodded his head. He knew exactly what Harry was talking about. He had the same problem before this marriage law. “Here’s how I see it, Potter. Yeah, she tricked you with that potion, but she really only wanted to shag you. She wasn’t trying to get you to marry her. She tried to make it right by being honest and telling you about it. She could have let you go on feeling like an arse about the whole thing.”

“Maybe,” Harry conceded.

“She’s offered to try and make it right with her family regardless of any personal consequences to her own reputation. She’s still telling you that she doesn’t want to marry you. It’s your choice at this point. You can complain to the Ministry and refuse to marry her. You can tell them that you were given a potion and that you were essentially used against your will. You can tell them that you are still morning the loss of your wife who died less than a month ago and couldn’t possibly marry anyone. She will probably be sent to Azkaban for awhile because it is illegal to give a potion to someone without their consent unless it is in a life threatening emergency.”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t want to see her hurt. I just don’t want to marry her either.”

“You could tell her father this instead and then threaten that if he doesn’t release you from this you will tell the ministry. He isn’t going to want to see his daughter in jail.”

“That’s almost as bad! Her family would just marry her off to the first available wizard to keep her reputation in tact. Gods, what if she’s pregnant? I didn’t use a contraceptive spell!”

“Bloody hell, Harry! Don’t you know that most of those aphrodisiac potions have fertility drugs in them?” Draco asked in shock.

“Oh bloody hell! Not again!” Harry shouted.

“I think that you should take her to St. Mungo’s and have her checked. They can tell immediately if someone is pregnant. Are you sure she was a virgin? They can also test right away the paternity.”

“I felt her hymen tear. I know she was a virgin. Fuck, Malfoy! If she’s pregnant, there’s no getting out of this one!”

“Not unless you are willing to let another wizard raise your child,” he said already knowing the answer to that.

Harry turned and glared at Draco. “Let’s go. I need to go find the tricky little witch. We can come back tonight and see Hagrid.