At The Heart Of The Matter

Authors Note: Thanks again to ALL my reviewers! Harry Potter is still not mine!

A Rough Few Days!

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The next morning, Harry fire-called over to Alicia‘s, only to have Rhonda receive the call. Taking pity on him, she asked to flow to his home for a talk. This worried Harry and giving a hesitant okay, he allowed her to flow over.

“Mrs. Spinnet. What’s going on? Why are you preventing me from seeing Alicia?” Harry asked, worriedly.

“Trust me, Harry, that is not my intention.” taking his hand in hers, she sat and continued, “Harry sit down, I need to tell you a few things, that will hopefully help you understand what Alicia is going through right now. You need to know….to understand that even though Alicia loves you, you are still a man. Something very precious to a woman was almost stolen from her, and considering the training she went through, she is feeling defeated, devastated, angry, embarrassed, and sad. I’ve spent all night with her….I’ve never seen her so beaten down. It scares me, Harry. She cried for you and for herself…over what could have happened….she loves you, never doubt that, but you’re a member of the opposite sex, and right now, that groups you with what she views as the enemy…..she doesn’t know how to disassociate you from them yet…and that scares her more than you will ever know.”

Rhonda, seeing a single tear makes its way down Harry’s cheek, squeezed his hand reassuringly, and continued on, “Harry….just give her some time. I know that you two haven’t talked about marriage or anything, but from her ramblings last night, she sees you as her future…she so wants to give you that one gift only she can give….and you almost witnessed it being stolen by someone else….imagine how that makes her feel. A few seconds later, and you’d have been too late to stop that monster…she’s mortified by that thought alone. She desperately wants to see you, but can’t bring herself to face all the stuff that would bring up. Please, understand where I’m coming from, and where Alicia’s mindset is right now.” finished Rhonda with tears in her eyes.

“Mrs. Spinnet, I don’t know what to say. I love her so much, and knew this would be hard for her, but I never understood just how hard. I want so much to help her, but I don’t want to push her either. Tell me what to do….” Harry trailed off feeling completely lost.

“Harry, love her….and don’t give up on her. Give her a few days to wrap her head around what happened, but more importantly….what didn’t happen. She needs to be assured that you won’t abandon her for turning you away right now.” Mrs. Spinnet gave Harry a comforting hug and heard him say, “I won’t leave her….I couldn’t. Will you wait while I write her a note, and take it to her for me?”

“Thank you, Harry. Of course I’ll wait….take your time.” she said hugging him again. After Rhonda left with his letter, Harry made his way to sit in his empty library, in his empty home, and stared out one window, hoping that the ache he felt inside wouldn’t crush him. His eyes, face and body spoke of one word….lost.

When Rhonda returned shortly before lunch, she went directly up to Alicia’s room, entering, she looked upon her completely devastated daughter and quietly said, “Honey, I’ve just come from talking with Harry, and he wanted me to give you this.” pulling out the note she handed it over.


Alicia,

I love you, Baby, know that first and foremost, and never doubt that….ever! I want to be with you, to comfort you, to hold you when you cry, but, I’ve been told that isn’t what you need from me right now. If you need time and space, I’ll give it, just know that when your ready, I’ll still be here waiting for you….however long that takes. I love you so much. I’d take all the pain onto myself if I could…do anything to make this easier for you. Don’t blame yourself, baby, let it reside where it belongs. Please believe me, the words I’ve written, and please, please come back to me soon.

I love you more than words could ever express.

Yours forever,
Harry


When Alicia finished reading the letter, she clutched it to her chest and with tears pouring down her face she said, “Oh, Mum. How are we going to get through this. I want him here so badly, but I can’t even handle Dad being in the room.”

“You’ll make it…both of you. I believe it to the very depth of my soul. He cares for you sweetie, of that I’m sure.” Rhonda reassured.

“I know…here, read his note.” said Alicia, handing the damp parchment to her mother

After reading the note, she looked into her daughter’s eyes and cupping her face said, “Before I read that letter, I was convinced he cared a great deal for you, but now, I know he truly loves you….that he’d move heaven and earth for you. A mother couldn’t ask for anything more than that. Take the time you need, Alicia, but never let this one go.”

“Mum, he saved me..…he held me after…..carried me away from that place….and now all I can do is turn him away! Why won’t my head listen to my heart? I know Harry would never do anything to hurt me, but my head is so scrambled….” Alicia trailed off, shaking her head in confusion.

“Sweetie, rest. All I can say is time….time will help you accept what happened, and then you will go on. Just remember two things…..first, Ernie is to blame, and second, he failed. If you can believe those two things, then your healing will begin, and you’ll begin to move on. Now, rest….I’ll be here when you wake.” Rhonda said, giving a small kiss on her daughter’s forehead. Alicia rolled over, after taking the letter back from her mother, never parting from Harry’s words for the rest of the day.

It was two tormented souls, attempting to come to terms with this unexpected blow to their blissful existence, that saw Sunday come to a stormy close. They both hoped that tomorrow would bring with it some understanding, healing and peace.

Harry lay in his bed on Monday morning, wondering how Ernie could’ve betrayed them when there was an unbreakable vow in place. He pulled his pensieve over, and placed part of the interrogation into it, then went in.

Harry couldn’t hold back any longer, and asked, “Why? Why would you decide now to turn traitor?”

“My cousin, Ted, told me the Dark Lord would make me richer than I had ever dreamed, and that because of my training, I would be elevated to the inner circle right away. Instant glory, he had said.”

“When did you tell Theodore about the training, and how much of it did you describe?” asked a very pissed off Harry. All their time, training, and secrecy was about to be undone.

“I didn’t mention the details of the training, saving that information for the Dark Lord, but he knew that I had aged, so I told him that we did the ancient goblin ‘Time Phase’ ritual. I told him about the warp 2 days ago, when we met and when he convinced me to switch sides.”

‘Ah! He could tell him about the ritual because, technically, according to Amelia, when we came out, all records would reflect our aging, so it’s public knowledge…just not very public, yet. Theodore could see the changes in his cousin, so when Ernie simply said that he’d been training, that was obvious. Ernie would’ve learned the hard way if he’d ever actually tried to talk about the details and secrets with Voldemort….very nasty surprise indeed….almost a shame he didn’t try!’ thought Harry, feeling somewhat vindicated that Ernie was going to rot in a cell for a long time to come.

Getting up, his thoughts turned to Alicia, and after his morning workout, wrote her another simple note that he had Hedwig deliver. It said:

Alicia,

How are you, Baby? I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and hoping your doing a little better. I miss you, and I love you! Let me know if you need anything, anything at all.

Yours Forever,
Harry


Around 1:00, Harry left his home to head over to the Ministry. He wanted to find out who had been captured during the Azkaban raid, when Ernie and Theodore’s trials were to be held, and to go down to Paole’s office and see if any progress had been made regarding Sirius. Moody, Amelia and Shacklebolt were in the debriefing room when he arrived.

“Good afternoon, Amelia, Kingsley, Moody.” said Harry in greeting.

“Afternoon, Harry. How’s Alicia doing?” asked Amelia

“Not to good….she won’t see me, but her mother says that she’s working through things slowly, and I just need to give her some time. I’ve never felt so useless in my life.” Harry said, just loud enough for those in the room to hear. Pushing the melancholy away for a short time, Harry continued, “So, who did we capture?”

“Sorry to hear that Alicia is having a hard time with all this, but it’s not unexpected.” said Kingsley, then went on, “I’ll just give you the names of those that are important or that you‘ve mentioned in the past. We caught Peter Pettigrew…” a gasp from Harry made him stop there.

“You caught him….or is he dead?” asked a wide-eyed Harry.

“We caught him. He’s in a holding cell down stairs. I know this is a big one for you and Remus personally. We also captured Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, which you knew, and Gregory Goyle. Amycus Carrow, and Vincent Crabbe were found dead. Most of the rest are new recruits, and really have no vital information. Unfortunately, Bellatrix, Fenrir Greyback, and Yaxley got away. Still, we did serve Riddle a major blow.” finished Kingsley.

“I want to go down there…I’ve a few questions for a couple of them.” Harry said in a biting tone.

“Harry, are you sure you can handle this today? I can’t have you losing control of your magic down there…the wards could collapse, and then all they would have to do is apparate out.” asked Amelia.

“Amelia, I haven’t lost control in almost 4 years, and I’m sure I can handle it.” reassured Harry.

When they were about to get into the lift, they ran into Remus, who was coming in to find out the same information that Harry had been seeking. Informing Remus who they had down in the holding cell, he joined them. Before they reached Pettigrew, Moody pointed out where Malfoy’s cell was, and making a beeline over, the guard made the door transparent, and Harry saw his nemesis laying on his cot, asleep, blanket pulled high over him.

In a loud voice, Harry said, “Hello, Malfoy. Your not looking to good. Don’t like the new accommodations?”

Opening his eyes, then shutting them again instantly, as if to block who was standing before him, Draco said, “Stuff it Potter. I’ve nothing to say to you.”

“Well, that’s to bad, because I’ve plenty to say to you. How does it feel to have picked the wrong side? I told you to do a little research, and to start thinking for yourself, but as usual, you didn’t heed my warning….and now look at where you are.”

“Potter, I wouldn’t be to high on yourself….your still going to lose!” said Draco, while he sat up a little, letting the blanket slip off his shoulders to his waist.

“That may well be…OUCH…what happened to your arm?” said Harry, feeling in his gut that he had been the one to damage Malfoy.

“You know damn well what happened to it. Where did you learn to handle a sword like that, and when did you age so much?” asked a pissed off, but perplexed Draco.

“Wouldn’t you like to know. I’m extremely pleased it was my blade that took you down….just be glad I didn’t know it was you, or the Malfoy line would certainly be finished. As to your other statement, I may very well lose this war, but at least I‘ll know that I was fighting for what I believed in, and not just being an arse kisser.” Harry paused, then, with his power radiating around him, he continued, “If you think we don‘t know about Tom‘s little plan for the ‘Censum Affensa Ab Damnatio’ ritual, you are sadly mistaken. We‘re no longer going to just sit back and wait for him to attack in this war…Tom better be ready, ‘cause we‘re coming for him!” finished Harry.

Draco, staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed over these people knowing about the ritual, and their new approach to this war, looked upon this new Harry Potter and, without a doubt, knew that the war had definitely taken a turn….it did not look good for the Dark Lord. Without another word, the door became solid again, and Draco laid back down, cursing his father and all his expectations.

A few doors down sat Peter Pettigrew, in rat form, scurrying all over to find a way out. When the door was made clear, he darted for it, only to receive a shock and be blasted back. Unable to hold his rat animagus form, he instantly turned back to the fat, balding man they all knew. Remus, with the wolf in his eyes said, “Hello, Peter. Sorry to see you weren’t injured during the fight.”

“Re-Remus, I-I was under a curse…help me!” stuttered the pathetic rat.

“Nice try, but I don’t, for one second, believe that. You’re going to pay for what you did to James and Lily….what you put Sirius and Harry through by your betrayal, and I’m going to love watching every moment of it. I’ll never understand why you’d turn against the only people that ever stood by you, but at this point, I’m not sure I care any longer….I just want you to suffer!” finished a snarling Remus, everyone watching as Pettigrew scurried to the far corner of his cell.

“Wormtail! You still owe me a life-debt….it’s time for me to collect. I want you to tell us where Tom is, what he’s planning, how far along he is in gathering the supplies and potions needed for the ‘Censum Affensa Ab Damnatio’ ritual. Don’t pretend to not know either….remember, I can see it all.” Harry said, as he pointed to his scar.

“I-I don’t know. The Dark Lord did-didn’t tell me anything!” said Peter, scared.

“Don’t give me that CRAP! You know the consequences for not fulfilling a life-debt….you’ll lose your life and your magic! Now, SPILL IT!” yelled Harry.

After a truth spell, one that only indicated a person was lying but did not force them to tell the truth, was placed on the cell, Peter spilled like the rat he was. He told them that Riddle was planning to attack the Ministry in early September, after he retrieved everyone from Azkaban, and that he couldn’t tell them exactly were the fortress was, only that it was about 3 miles west of Little Haggleton, on top of a small hill, near a graveyard. There were several smaller raids on various muggle towns planned for the initiation of new members, and that the ritual was at a standstill for now. Apparently, the Dark Lord was still having trouble securing the parts of the basilisk he needed, along with a few other hard to get ingredients. Add to that, he still hadn’t found a new Potion’s Master, and Tom was not in a good mood lately. Harry thought he may just try and see inside the monster’s thoughts soon, as he’d been trained to do.

“By the way, if I get to hand out your punishment at the trial, I’ll be stripping you of your magic and seeing you rot in jail till the day you die. Your life-debt is fulfilled. May you never feel the sun on your face again.” finished a vengeful Harry.

They left the sniveling man to ponder the ramifications that his path in life had led to. Once out of the holding cell area, Harry bid the rest goodbye, after grabbing Remus by the arm, to hold him back. As they walked towards Paole’s office, Harry told Remus about the possibility surrounding Sirius coming out of the veil and that he didn’t want to be the only one knowing anymore. Remus was shocked, but hopeful, as they entered the office.

“Hey, Paole. How are you?“ asked Remus, shaking his hand along with Harry.

“I’m good, thanks. What brings you two down here? Or need I ask?” Paole asked with a knowing look.

“What news do you have about Sirius?” asked a tentative Harry.

“Well, it looks like they are making some headway, but nothing certain yet. They know they can get his spirit back, but are still struggling with how to bring his body with it. With the capture of Pettigrew, they all know he’s innocent, and are working even harder to retrieve Sirius from The Veil. I’m sorry, but that’s all I know at this point.” said Paole.

“What would happen if they could only bring his spirit back…what does that mean?” asked Remus.

“I don’t really know for certain. My best guess is that we could use it to imbue a portrait so he could be somewhat here with you both, but that is only a guess. I’m going to start researching that this afternoon, just in case. Harry, no matter what they are able to retrieve, it will probably involve Runic Magic, so if it comes down to it we may need you to be directly involved.” answered Paole.

“Just let me know. I’ll do anything to get him back….even just his spirit. Thanks for keeping on top of this.” said Harry.

“Not a problem..….Harry, how’s Alicia?” Paole asked cautiously.

“She‘s…well, she’s not doing to good. She won’t see me, and it’s killing me. Her mother said to just give her time to work through things, and she’d come around. It’s really sad that it took this happening for me realize that I can’t live without her. I’m just….lost right now….I don’t know how to help her.” Harry finished quietly.

“I know it’s hard to believe at this point, but she will come around. I’ve lived along time and have, unfortunately seen this happen before, so trust me when I say….she will heal, and you two will be stronger for this whole messed up experience. I know it doesn’t feel like that now, but it will get better.” Paole said, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Thanks. We better get going, and let you get to your research. Call me if you need me.” said Harry, and after saying their goodbye, Harry and Remus left. Before leaving the Ministry, they made their way to Amelia’s office, and found out that Ernie’s hearing would be held on Wednesday, August 28th, but that it was most likely going to be just his sentencing, as he was probably going to plead guilty in hopes of getting a lesser punishment. Harry confirmed that he would need to be there, then, saying that with Umbridge’s trial coming up, the whole Dumbledore/Snape trial, and now Erinie’s and the rest of the captured prisoners, he was thinking of making his new home the courtroom. As Remus, Amelia and Harry all parted ways, they chuckled at his joke.

Tuesday, Harry spent the day at home, reverting his Manor to it’s former glory, and trying to keep his mind busy. He wrote another simple note to Alicia that morning, and sent it with Hedwig, along with a long stem red rose from his garden. He had also fire-called Marcel, and was reassured that Alicia was starting to make some headway, as she was now coming out of her room, and had even given her father a hug.

On Wednesday, after sending another note to Alicia, he decided to start making a new amulet for her that included several more protection and healing runes. The first one he made her basically only protected her from offensive spells, not physical attacks. He spent all morning studying the runic patterns and when he was finally settle on a set, he took out a ring that he’d taken from the Potter vault the other day, and started the casting on it. It would take him several days to complete, but he wanted it ready for whenever Alicia was ready to see him.

He used the runes of: Uruz for strength, courage, and understanding; Ansuz for harmony; Eihwaz for protection, defense and inspiration; Kenaz for harnessed power and regeneration of spirit; Algiz for a shield of protection and the warding off of evil; Sowilo for positive change, wholeness, cleansing fire; Berkano for renewal, desire, and love; and Wunjo for joy, pleasure and harmony.

As he was working into the early evening, Hedwig returned, carrying the first communication from Alicia since Saturday. Giving his faithful owl a petting in thanks, he took to note from her leg, and made his way out to the back patio to read it under the new night sky.

Harry,

Thank you for all the loving notes and the beautiful flower. I’m so sorry that you have been in distress over me, but know that I love you, too. I want to see you, so if you are still willing, please turn around.

Love Always,
Alicia

“What?….turn around….” and then it hit him, and quick as lightning, he stood and turned to face the woman he wanted more than anything.

“Alicia….” he whispered reverently.

“Hi, Harry. I’m….I’m sorry for keeping you at a distance these last several days, but I just wasn’t ready.” she said quietly, taking a few tentative steps towards Harry.

“Oh, Baby….I do understand. Will you sit with me?” Harry asked, reaching to take her hand in his, only after getting a confirming nod from Alicia.

As soon as they were both seated, he said, “I love you, you know. I’m glad you’re here.”

“I know….how could I not after those inspiring notes. Thank you for not pushing me….it took a lot to finally realize that Ernie didn’t win….that I’m going to be okay. At first I couldn’t understand how someone we all thought was a friend could do something like this, then I just got so angry at all your sex for being able to use your strength and mite for such cruelty. It was just after I received your last note that it clicked….that not all men are evil and vile….that most are good like you, Dad, Blaise, and Neville. The more I thought about that, the more I began to understand what this must be doing to you. I love you, Harry….it was never my intention to push you out. Please forgive me?” Alicia explained as the painful tears of the last few days fell down her face, landing on their joined hands.

“Alicia, there’s nothing to forgive. You handled this horrible experience the only way you could, and as I said in that note the first day, I would wait forever for you. I know your not completely better, but this is a huge step. If you’ll let me, from here on out, I’d like to be by your side helping you?” said Harry, wanting so much to just hug her, but not wanting to scare her or push her away again.

“Oh, Harry…that’s what I want more than anything now.” and with that, she wrapped him in a loving hug, both crying out their scared, frazzled, and frustrated emotions.

As they held each other, inhaling her wonderful scent, Harry whispered in her ear, “I’ve missed you, Baby. I can’t tell you how I longed to hold you again. I love you.”

“Me too, Harry. I love you.” she said, relishing being back in his arms again.

She had more emotional healing to go, but would use Harry’s inner strength to see her through it. After agreeing to meet him tomorrow for the trial of Umbridge, he gave her another loving hug, and she left to head home. It would be a few more days before she was ready to accept anything more than a comforting embrace, but she knew after this, it would all eventually get better.

The trial the next day went pretty much like Harry thought it would. Umbridge tried to deny any wrong doing, but under Veritiserum, she spilled her secrets, going as far as to say that she supported Riddle even though she didn’t have his mark. She was sentenced to 50 years in Azkaban, and ordered to pay 100,000 each to Harry, Lee Jordan, Dean Thomas, Wayne Hopkins from Hufflepuff, and Eddie Carmichael from Ravenclaw. The rest of her money, if any, would go to Hogwarts for the improving of the school and it’s facilities.

Harry and Alicia spent the rest of the day going around Diagon Alley, shopping a little while they talked and listened to how the other had been handling things over the last few days. They rarely let go of each other’s hand until they parted for the night. It had done them both a world of good being together, both laughing and crying a little. Harry thought as he laid down to sleep, ‘We’re going to be okay….we’re going to make it through all this.’