One wish alone have I

Chapter 22 (part 1)
Back to Hogwarts

“It seems we will not be sleeping alone from now on,” I softly said, in answer to his smile.

“So you feel it, too?” he asked, half as if he did not trust his own perceptions.

“His or her presence is very, very faint, but you will feel it grow stronger with each passing week. This is how it happened last time.”

Severus rolled on his back and looked at the ceiling, rather wide-eyed, and let out a long whisper.

“I did not realize it would be that easy… or happen that fast,” he murmured.

“Do you regret what we did?” I asked, lifting my head from his pillow in alarm.

“No, of course not!” he determinedly replied, turning to his side again. “When I told you I was ready, it was not a lie; I would never say such a thing lightly. It is just very new to me… I guess I will have to get used to the idea. What about you?”

“Oh, I do not regret either!” I commented in the same tone. “We just seized an occasion and I am glad we did.”

“I have engendered a child,” he murmured, caressing my belly again as if he wanted to convince himself better. “Me… I am going to be a father…”

“And you were at my side in the evening to share the news and joy when I woke up, my love,” I spontaneously thought.

“You can be sure you will keep waking up next to me each and every evening to do so, Antanasia, unless you stop wanting to,” he gravely said, putting a resolute hand on my hip.

I rolled over him and spread my nakedness over his. The poking of his hardness between our bodies lit up a renewed fire in my eyes and I kissed the remains of his promise on his virile lips, which kissed me in return. It took us an additional hour to drag ourselves out of his bed and prepare to go downstairs.

Most of the castle’s inhabitants had very small eyes and a bit of a hangover when we walked into the dining room; even Vlad asked us not to speak so loud when we inquired about his night, not to mention Ivantie, who walked in with a satisfied smile, but with dark shadows underlining his puffy eyes.

“So… what was her name?” I discreetly asked, once I could talk to him without risking to be overheard.

“What were their names, you mean…” he replied in a croaky but mischievous voice. “Katrina, Elsa and Natalia, if you must know. I did not fully realise what impact my position had on people, but I got a pretty clear illustration last night! And what about you, Tasia?”

“Oh, nothing that extravagant! I spent the rest of the night with Severus in the Carpathians.”

“I see…” he thoughtfully said, looking into my eyes with a curious expression before his lips stretched into an astonished smile. “And it appears he gave you a private lesson! Had you two planned this a long time ago?”

“It was a last minute inspiration for me… and Severus had given it some thought for a while, he told me.”

“Congratulations, Tasia!” he said, pressing me into a crushing embrace. “This is wonderful news! Does Valerica know?”

“I have known since July, and I guess you understand better why I had to remain silent until tonight,” intervened Valerica, who walked closer to us with Severus and a beaming Cami.

“Yes, that is now very obvious… as is the reason why you honoured me with a complete blessing and purification ritual before the feast began,” I replied, taking her outstretched hands tenderly in mine. “Thank you so much, my dear friend…”

“Are you not thrilled that your child was conceived that particular night?” asked Cami in an excited tone.

“The night of the Summer feast? Thrilled, yes… not surprised might better describe it, though,” I said.

“I was wrong, then,” commented Valerica, “when I said that last night would tell you all the things the Dragon showed me.”

“The moon!” exclaimed Cami. “Have you not taken a close look at the moon?”

“Not particularly… we were in a clearing, but the trees rather blocked it from our view,” I answered.

“Last night, my love, the moon was tainted with blood,” explained Valerica patiently, her eyes glimmering intensely nevertheless.

“Really?” asked Ivantie in fake disappointment. “Should I be packing already?”

“Do not be silly; even if it were the case, it would take decades for it to happen!” Valerica retorted.

“I do not understand…” said Severus, seemingly puzzled. “Can someone tell me what was so special about the moon last night?”

“Sorry, Severus, we are keeping you in the dark,” Cami answered, putting an apologetic hand on his arm. “As you know, the moon sometimes appear darker than usual; when that colour is rather red than yellow, we say it is tainted with blood... or we call it a blood moon.”

“Ancient tales say that when a blood moon shines on the night of the Summer feast,” I continued, “a Sire and Clan leader will be conceived within our kind.”

“Which means that Antanasia could be pregnant with the next leader of Zaharia! My replacement, if you will,” commented Ivantie in an ironic tone.

“But this is only legend, right?” asked Severus.

“So far, the legend has always come true,” argued Valerica. “For example, Pietr was conceived on a blood moon night, if I am not mistaken… and so was Niculaie, a leader who ruled before Sebestyen’s time.”

“Even if a Clan leader was conceived last night, I am certainly not the only cainite who learned she was pregnant this evening. That future leader might be from anywhere in the world, as far as in Australia or America. We do not know!”

“Is there any way for us to know?” asked Severus.

“You can consult the Great Dragon, but he showed me nothing else than the happy news we just learned and the presence of the blood moon in the sky, which does not guarantee that Antanasia has been chosen, I concede it. Nevertheless, the tales also mention that, if the future mother of a Sire and Clan leader stands outside on the hundredth night of her pregnancy with her face bathed in the moonlight, the symbol of the Goddess will be drawn on her forehead and shine until the morning. The same goes for the father and the sunlight during the day; the symbol of the God shall be traced on his forehead as soon as the sun rays touch it and it will glow until night comes,” explained Valerica.

“Make sure you mark the date in your agenda when we come back to Hogwarts,” I taunted, giving Severus a wink.

“You may laugh, but I will do it just for the form,” he retorted. “I would derive a certain pride in knowing that a Snape might rule you all one day!”

“Would that be good or bad news?” asked Cami teasingly.

“Depending on which side he or she inherits the most, we might be in big trouble!” joked Ivantie.

“One way or the other, I just want our child to be healthy,” I intervened, feeling slightly uneasy about all the plans they were already making for a little being that was so far away from birth.

“I just want him or her to survive!” I secretly thought.

“You are right, Tasia, we are getting a bit enthusiastic,” admitted Valerica, understanding my discomfort while Severus discreetly fumbled for my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. “Severus, your role at Tasia’s side is crucial; I hope you are ready to take it seriously, as the road in front of you is a long one.”

“Have no worries; I will not mess things up twice,” he gravely said, looking her in the eye intently.

“Which makes me think that we have not yet discussed the more practical details of your condition’s requirements…” he murmured in my mind.

“Do you want to discuss them now?”

“Well… yesterday’s Blood potion leftovers will hardly make a good start for the journey. Would you like to feed on me before or after the meal?”

“Definitely after, if I feed on you at all. We have a few details to discuss indeed, my darling. Do not worry about them now.”

“As you wish.”

We kept chatting with the small group until Ivantie led us to the dining room. The few knowing glances I got from many of the other castle’s inhabitants told me that they, too, felt the change in me. Vasile even hugged me tenderly against his heart before he gave Severus a loud clap of encouragement on the back. Niculaie merely shrugged his shoulders and gave a strange side-glance to Severus that was probably meant to express some kind of male complicity and pride, because Severus returned it for a split second and Niculaie sniggered. Marcela was surprised, but seemed happy nevertheless; Vlad proposed to owl me some good books for the last inactive month, and Mara almost submerged me with the names of potions that would help me lose extra weight after the birth. No matter how warm-hearted I felt in front of all their reactions, my heart ached all the same. I knew I would miss each and every one of them after our departure.

“We have a few options to feed the baby during my pregnancy,” I explained, once Severus and I found a moment of solitude in the garden after dinner. “When Blood potion did not exist, the options were more limited and some people still believe that pregnant cainites have to feed exclusively on human or cainite blood, but it is a myth. I actually found many useful tricks in the pamphlet the Healer gave me at St Mungo’s hospital this summer.”

“Tell me,” he simply replied.

“The more I rely on human or cainite blood, the better it will be for the baby. As Poppy said, and this was confirmed by the Healer who checked me, a type of blood similar to that of the father is to be preferred to all others when the father’s blood is unavailable for some reason. That obviously means a wizard’s blood, in our case. I can take Blood potion from time to time, and it is partly up to us to decide how often it happens. In addition, and you already know this, I must feed on you regularly to nurture the magical bounds linking the baby to me.”

“I am willing to give you my blood every day if necessary,” he quickly interrupted. “No problem.”

“This is very noble of you, Severus, but I will not ask it from you. The task might be manageable at the beginning, but you would soon feel exhausted, even with a good Blood-Replenishing potion.”

“How often do you plan to feed on me, then?”

“The ideal would be once every three nights; it can be stretched to five nights if I feed on Blood potion in the meantime and to a whole week if I feed on other wizards’ blood in turn with the potion.”

“Other wizards?” he said, cocking a disapproving eyebrow at my suggestion. “Like who?”

“Albus gave me some of his blood when I was still in Hogwarts; he might offer his help again. Arthur participated, too, when I was in the Headquarters. Molly strongly disapproved, so I do not know for sure if we could count on him. And then there might still be--”

“Lupin?” he interrupted again, his tone noticeably more tense.

“Remus could not give me his blood even if he wanted to; cainites’ blood is completely incompatible with that of people suffering from lycanthropy,” I patiently explained, ignoring the harsh way in which he still pronounced his name. “This is why Arnaud and I never had children together. I was thinking about Arthur’s sons or maybe even… your father.”

The thought of using many vessels as means of feeding was completely natural and meaningless for me, to a certain extent. Severus, on the contrary, was much less used to the idea and he admitted that he found the possibility of me locking my lips on other wizards’ necks a little… peculiar, at the very least. I think the thought of me Kissing his father was bluntly repulsive to him, not to mention the contacts he would unmistakably have with him in that eventuality.

“But there is more than the actual gesture,” he added, explaining his point of view. “The blood you feed on will not only sustain you, it will sustain our child, too. I feel that this is only my responsibility and I really do not like the idea of letting other wizards mix their own blood with that of my growing child. Would you not prefer to give him or her my blood only?”

“To be honest… I would not mind taking other vessels, but if it makes you uncomfortable, we can try things your way.”

“We can try a combination of two nights of Blood potion and one of my blood and see how well I can handle that rhythm. Would you like to start tonight?” he asked, undoing the first buttons of his frock coat.

“No, that will not be necessary,” I said, stopping his gesture with a caring hand. “I have already fed well and will feel satiated until tomorrow evening. We can do it tomorrow if you want; for now, just think of feeding well yourself.”

Our conversation shifted to other practical considerations regarding my state. I suspected Severus had been awake a part of the day; his slightly worried mind had already found many problems and potential solutions for the upcoming months. My sensitivity to sun was to increase with time and winter would be most welcome, eventually. We still had to be careful and keep the classroom’s window panels shut as much as possible. Severus made me promise that I would let him replace me during lessons on potions that would produce fumes or use ingredients that might be toxic for me or for the baby. We agreed that we would review the program thoroughly after our arrival and dispatch the lessons between the two of us accordingly.

After much deliberation, we also decided not to make any particular effort to hide my pregnancy from the Dark Lord. The consequences for us, should he discover that we had attempted to hide my state to him, might be far worse than him feeling it eventually by himself. I shuddered at the idea of Voldemort feeling his vicious way through my insides to acknowledge the new life that had blossomed there, but Severus reassured me that he would always be at my side during meetings. He added that the Dark Lord had always reacted with a fair level of indifference to Death Eaters expecting a child, as long as it did not have any impact on their devotion to him and his cause. Once we expressed these concerns to Ivantie, however, he promised to send a new emissary as soon as the war against Russia was over and he also renewed his proposition to come and meet the Dark Lord in person to falsely reassure him that I was not deceiving him. Severus welcomed his proposition with a warm and grateful heart.

The following night, Severus offered his neck to my fangs and stroked my hair very tenderly as I drank. I shivered, then, from the pleasure of the Kiss and the overwhelming feeling that things were happening the right way this time. When I licked the bite marks closed, I remember that I prayed fervently for things to remain just that way.

“I had an idea for our journey back to Hogwarts,” he said, readjusting his pristine white silk scarf around his neck while I still shamelessly purred with contentment on his bed. “We could Apparate there and make the trip in a few hours, but I thought it might be nice to fly our way back and enjoy a little trip together… just the two of us.”

“Mmmmh…” I commented, smiling at him lazily and nodding my agreement.

“I have asked Ivantie about the hippogriff; he told me he set it free, but it repeatedly came back for food, so Ivantie kept it in the castle’s stable since my last visit. If we take it to fly our way to Hogwarts, we could hide it somewhere in the Forbidden Forest; I am sure Hagrid would be able to take care of it, and it might eventually be useful for the Order. What do you think?”

“I think it is a splendid idea, my darling,” I replied, rolling on my stomach and waving my legs seductively while I stared at him through half-closed eyelids.

“Now tell me,” he began, turning back from the mirror and walking slowly towards me, tilting his head to the side in amused curiosity, “why do I feel like those pretty scarlet eyes of yours are devouring me?”

“Your taste was different tonight,” I explained, my eyes sparkling intensely despite their languid appearance. “It was very noticeable.”

“I thought taking iron supplements would be a good idea,” he said, pointing to a small vial on the night dresser with his chin. “Does it alter the taste much?”

“Your iron level was perfect, Severus,” I commented, waving my hips so my bum would curve nicely under his gaze. “The difference was about… something else I cannot quite put my finger on…”

“Ah, I believe I know what might have given you that impression,” he declared, sitting on the edge of the bed next to me and patting my bum affectionately. “Was the taste similar to something you tasted on the Summer feast evening, by any chance?”

“The maiden’s blood? Not really,” I taunted, making no effort to repress my giggles.

“No, you silly, my potion!” he exclaimed, pinching me playfully. “I can see why the similarity might have struck you. I guess it has something to do with the fact I was being Kissed by a cainite who was so flamboyantly naked before my eyes.”

“A friendly suggestion, then…. You should really get used to the idea.”

“Should I expect it to happen again?” he murmured with hope, sliding his naughty fingers between my upper thighs.

“Come here,” I said, grabbing his coat and making him fall on the top of the bed, “and let me show you how we handle evening quickies in Romania.”

~*~

Severus and I spent two more uneventful but happy nights at Zaharia before we left. I caught him many times in the library, deeply absorbed in the reading of a few old books about cainites’ pregnancy. He was taking his role as seriously as he handled the brewing of a high-level potion, and I am sure that Vlad was more than happy to play the librarian for him. We left on the evening of the 29th of August with our small luggage bags (Severus retrieved his belongings that had been kept in the castle’s vault, along with his former wand) rendered almost weightless by a Levitating Charm and tied to the hippogriff’s leg.

I must admit that we both also left with a heavy heart. I am really not good at saying goodbye, let alone saying goodbye without knowing if I would ever see those beloved faces again; Catalina’s example was still fresh in my memory. I did not make it as far as travelling between Ivantie and Valerica’s embrace before I broke down in tears, but the sweet promises we made to owl and Floo each other often took away a lot of my pain. I also wanted Severus to feel that I was happy to follow him back to Hogwarts, so I did my best to quickly regain my composure and show him a convincingly stiff lip, his mother’s shawl wrapped faithfully tight around my shoulders.

Instead of heading northwest, we headed right towards the north of Italy, where we settled in a nice little hotel that Severus had reserved two nights before. The owners’ daughter belonged to my kind, and they thoughtfully provided a very comfortable double coffin for us. We even found plasma-flavoured chocolates on our pillows! We spent a part of the night strolling in the village, but went to sleep quite early; we had to readjust to a more “human” schedule, especially in Severus’ case.

The rest of the trip went very smoothly; we made an additional stop in Brittany, where I revisited the Brocéliand forest with pleasure and emotion, feeling that the ancient trees were still very much alive and left almost untouched by the so-called advances of civilization. We made a final stop at the Headquarters to let the hippogriff take a rest and Severus, quite relaxed by the quiet trip and preceding stay in Romania, tolerated Remus’ presence very well, to the point of accepting his invitation to stay for the day. I was transported with joy; it was so great to see my beloved friend again!

I was enchanted to chat about our time in Romania and the joys I felt to visiting my friends after such a long absence. Remus seemed pleased to hear about my pregnancy, though I felt a tiny and discreet stab of pain in his heart when Severus told him the news. Nevertheless, we eventually had to talk about darker and more serious matters. Remus confirmed what the rivers had told us; the Death Eaters had not made any bold attempt during our absence, but the Order was eager for fresh news and its members were looking forward to Severus being called to a meeting again. Moody was still organizing raids to catch illegal potions dealers and quite a few captures had been made during the previous weeks. I heard that Shacklebolt, too, had been at the head of many operations that were not always successful, but had allowed the capture of quite a few new Death Eaters. They were now twenty-five to be imprisoned in Azkaban. We agreed with Remus that we would talk to Albus about organizing an Order meeting soon to plan the actions we would take during the fall.

We all went to bed towards three in the morning and Severus made love to me particularly vigorously that time. I really cannot say that I minded his enthusiasm, but he made no effort to conceal the loud squeaking of the old bed we were in, and I could not help but think that the sound would certainly reach Remus’ sharpened ears. Somehow, I suspect that Severus thought the very same thing, for obviously different reasons.

The following day, we woke up very early (it was towards noon, if I remember well) and we waited for the sun to become a bit less intense. We left the Headquarters in late afternoon and took flight over London, concealing ourselves magically from the Muggles’ view. The sight was simply breathtaking: we had not flown much in daytime during our journey to England, and it was wonderful to watch the changing landscape underneath us. First, the city, with its thousands and thousands of houses, buildings, market places that became scarcer and scarcer until they all completely dissolved into the countryside, with its well delimited fields and crops that formed an organized chessboard before our eyes. It was truly amazing to watch all that beauty from above, cuddling up against my lover’s back with him caressing my gloved hands over his chest while the hippogriff\'s two powerful wings flapped in a regular rhythm that brought us closer to what was, in a way, Severus\' home.

A few hours later, just after the sun began to disappear behind the mountains, the Hogwarts’ lake came into view far ahead, glimmering beautifully in the evening light like a small silver jewel in a green velvet box. We made the hippogriff land as close as possible to Hagrid’s hut in the Forbidden Forest and tied it to a tree. Severus took our luggage bags and, after we alerted a literally transported half-giant of the creature’s presence, we headed towards the castle. Students were beginning to arrive; dozens of carriages were already being emptied of the children and adolescents’ presence.

“Do you want me to Transfigure and fly in by the owl’s trap in the Great Hall?” I asked, turning to Severus.

“And why in the name of Merlin would you want to do this when we can use the main door?” he replied.

“Well… if students see us arriving to the castle together with our luggage bags, they might conclude that we are romantically involved, you and I.”

“Let them conclude, then,” he calmly declared. “I told you before that I am not the cuddly type; I am absolutely not a fan of public demonstrations, and that will not change. However, we can assume that your silhouette will soon betray your state and I do not want your good reputation to be put in doubt. Consequently,” he added, offering me his free arm, which I took with relief, “let the nosy brats also eventually deduce who is responsible for the change that will take place before long. The rest is absolutely not their business and if anybody has a problem with that, they will report to me personally, believe me.”

We kept walking steadily towards the main door and I was grateful that my long legs were able to match his long and rapid stride. Quite sadly, I must admit, I felt him stiffen considerably with each new step that took him closer to the castle. Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin House, was slowly replacing Severus and I felt his old usual mind-set come back in the blink of an eye when his eyes met the first students’ gazes. Speaking of which, the students in question threw us very curious glances as we passed near them and we left a trail of excited whispers behind us.

“I bet the dunderheads just cannot believe the old dungeon bat finally found a girl,” I heard him think through a spontaneous and unintended Legilimency link as we walked down the long staircase leading to the dungeons.

I secretly promised myself to look at my best for the start of year feast.

We barely had the time to leave our luggage bags in his quarters and quickly change for more appropriate robes before we hurriedly left for the feast. As we walked along the aisle way, we were greeted at the front table by a beaming Albus, whose eyes twinkled more than ever when they acknowledged our presence. He bent towards Minerva and whispered something in her ear; she first opened her mouth in surprise and then nodded in what seemed like approval. She then turned to Poppy and talked to her in a low voice. Poppy acknowledged Minerva’s message like a woman who was already well informed and turned to me; she gave me a nod of greeting along with a very pleased smile.

“It seems the news will spread like sand in the wind,” I discreetly told Severus as we took place at the teachers’ table.

“That was to be expected; the second they sit together somewhere, they just cannot help it, the old gossips! Why do you think I spend so much time in my office?”

“I already figured that out earlier this year, darling,” I retorted, a bit more harshly than intended.

“Is there a problem?” he asked, rising a critical eyebrow.

“Oh, it is not you… it is them. I would have preferred to keep the news only between Albus and us at the beginning… until the magical bounds are more definite and strong… until the baby is older and more vigorous… you know what I mean?”

“Give me a minute,” he simply said, before he rose from his seat and walked towards Albus.

I saw him bend forward and whisper in a low voice between Albus and Minerva’s heads. Poppy overheard what he said; her eyebrows knitted a severe expression of concern provoked by what I deduced to be the news of my miscarriage. After Severus finished talking, Albus replied a very short answer and patted his forearm reassuringly, to which Severus simply nodded.

“I made sure the news would not travel beyond Poppy,” he declared, once he was seated beside me again and Minerva left to welcome the first-year students outside the Great Hall. “She would have had to know anyway… and Minerva would have learned about it either here or at a meeting.”

“It is okay,” I replied, in a softer and more reassuring tone. “I just do not want too many people to know… just those who are close to us. We have no guarantee that it will work, after all, and should it never happen, I would not want to disappoint all these people in addition to you, me, Valerica, Ivantie, and...

“Which star pierced the night first tonight, do you think?” he interrupted, very seriously.

“What? I have no idea! Why do you ask?”

“Oh, then I guess we do not know because we did not take the time to watch it when it appeared in the sky. You see, someone gave me that wise advice, one night…. She said that it is useless to strive for control over something uncontrollable, and far better then to rely on the smallest joys…”

“Like the first star appearing in the sky at night…” I completed, understanding where he was leading me.

“Exactly. So why don’t you set your mind on happier thoughts and take things one night at a time?”

“Look who is talking,” I taunted. “It would appear that you do listen to me from time to time!”

“If only for the pleasure of serving you your own lectures, it is absolutely worth it,” he teased back as the Sorting Hat started singing its song on its stool.

We watched the Sorting ceremony in silence, applauding cheerfully whenever a Slytherin was added to Severus’ House. I noticed that Severus carefully observed each student that joined the Slytherin table, scrutinizing their moves and faces as his lips formed their complete name many times over. They clearly felt intimidated by him already; no doubt his reputation preceded him.

The rest of the dinner went as usual, and it felt great to be surrounded by Hogwarts’ good old magic once more. Severus made his welcoming speech shortly after the students went back to their dormitories and insisted that I be at his side while he spoke. He introduced me as his collaborator instead of his assistant, a tactful gesture I was very sensitive to. Once he enumerated the countless rules and restrictions, insisting particularly that the lab was strictly dedicated to our personal use and that the only students allowed to enter his quarters or Floo him there were the prefects, we exited the dormitories and headed for Albus’ office. He cross-checked the information that Remus had given us, and asked Severus to keep him informed if Voldemort were to summon him for a meeting, which usually happened within the first two weeks after the beginning of the school year, according to Severus.

Albus then switched to more personal subjects, and asked straightforwardly if we wanted to move together in larger quarters. Apparently, it was not the first time that Hogwarts’ teachers were seriously involved together or even married with children and still preferred to live in the castle. Though Albus still counted on our complete discretion, of course, he was not at all against the idea of us living together in new quarters, especially given my state. Severus’ jaw twitched instinctively; not only had he not thought of that possibility, he seemed reluctant to leave the apartments he had occupied for so many years.

I cut short his inner debate and embarrassment, and proposed an intermediate solution. I would move in Severus’ quarters, and the closets and bathroom cupboards would simply be magically enlarged to accommodate me. I did not have enough belongings to be an annoyance in that matter anyway. Severus’ shoulders lost most of their tenseness and he discreetly thanked me through a Legilimency link.

The bed represented a bigger problem, however, and we were faced with it as soon as our meeting with Albus ended and we found ourselves in Severus’ bedroom. It was better for me to sleep in my coffin as often as possible, in order to preserve my magical resources. However, for one thing, Albus still asked me to remain as secretive as possible about my cainite nature, so the coffin was to remain hidden from view. In addition, it was still very legitimate for Severus to want to sleep in his bed from time to time, a thing I did not want to deny him. Fortunately, my marriage with Arnaud and Smirky’s wise suggestions allowed us to find a cunning plan in barely half an hour. We first enlarged the coffin to make it fit for two (it was basically as large as Severus’ bed, which accommodated his long body very comfortably) and used it as such on the bed’s frame for about a week.

During that time, a team of house-elves excavated a rectangular hole under the bed (the advantage of living in the dungeons made it possible) and built a kind of closet in it. A very simple mechanism allowed us to lower the bed in the cavity, which closed completely and transformed in a platform that could support the coffin. It was stored in the night dresser when we did not use it, and otherwise, the bed was protected from humidity and conveniently stored, too. That way, we were able to sleep in his bed once every two nights, which is what we have been doing ever since.

A very unexpected surprise welcomed us when we penetrated my quarters in order to retrieve the rest of my belongings the night of our arrival, however. Hagrid had left a letter for me on my desk, and I was puzzled as to who was the sender until I broke the seal and acknowledged the name at the bottom of the roll of parchment.

Marcus Snape!

I let out a small exclamation of surprise and told the truth when Severus asked me the cause of my astonishment. His expression darkened and shut away instantly. He headed to my closet to start packing my clothes, which clearly indicated that he had no intention of reading the letter with me. Unable to postpone that moment until later, I leaned against my desk and brushed my eyes against the already vaguely familiar handwriting.

Dear Antanasia,

I guess my letter reaches you too late; the owl carrying your letter found me only at the end of July. The address you used was no longer correct, and the owl looked for me all around England before it finally located my new address, which I have copied below in case you might still need it.

Nevertheless, maybe I guessed wrong; have you been able to find the help you needed? One of my late wife’s sisters is still alive…. If it is not too late and you need my assistance, I will be glad to palliate for my son’s regrettable shortcomings. One way or the other, I can only express my deepest regrets that he put you in this kind of situation. Unfortunately, it is not the first time he has gotten into trouble or disappeared unexpectedly without leaving an address, and you can be sure that the shame falls on me as much as it falls on him.

In case you were able to contact him, however, and avoided the terrible eventuality you mentioned, please tell him that I shall be glad to resume his training should he wish, at long last, to complete it and be up to the standards the Snape family has always been proud of.

Until I have, maybe, the pleasure of meeting you, I remain sincerely yours,

Marcus Snape

The address written below informed me that he had moved from the Humberside to the East Midlands, in a charming little town named Calceby and located in the Lincolnshire. It was not surprising anymore that the owl had taken so long to locate him.

I took some time to evaluate what the letter could tell me about him. The handwriting was as steady and refined as Severus’, maybe a little sharper than his, though. The tone left me uncomfortable for a reason that I took a while to put my finger on. He was extremely polite and even seemed genuinely concerned by my fate, but his words did not carry any warmth or comfort. In addition, the blame and obvious pressure he so openly put on his son told me loads of things about how unpleasant Severus’ interactions were with him in the past. Severus’ reactions and comments made plenty of sense indeed…

When I looked up, emerging from my busy thoughts, Severus was gone. I carefully rolled the parchment and put it in my pocket with the intention of keeping it discreetly hidden somewhere, in case Severus’ blood became temporarily or permanently unavailable for reasons I did not want to think about. I found him in his bedroom; he had already enlarged his closet and had magically hung all my clothes on the right side. When I entered, walking as silently as a mouse, he was emptying a few drawers in his armoire at top speed, slamming the drawers shut each time he was done.

I discreetly coughed and it startled him. When I asked him to come with me and sit on our familiar armchairs in front of the fireplace, he tensely replied that he preferred to finish what he was doing so I would be fully moved that same night. I did not argue and silently helped him transfer my clothes and other belongings into his quarters. About an hour later, he finally agreed to join me in his office, where he let me serve him a glass of Firewhisky that seemed to calm down his agitation a little.

“Severus, you made it obvious that you do not want to read the letter your father sent me,” I began, and he snorted his agreement. “You are right; most of its content is irrelevant, as he sent it towards the end of July and is completely unaware of the recent events. However… after reading his letter, I have a question.”

“Go ahead,” he said, locking all the might of his dark eyes in mine.

“Your father proposed to resume your training if I was still pregnant… what training was he talking about?”

Severus snorted tensely again before he nodded with a derisive smile that probably meant that he was not surprised by his father’s proposition. He took a long sip of alcohol and seemed lost in thought for a few minutes before he answered me.

“He talked about Possessimency.”

“He trained you to become a Possessimens? Really?” I replied, in a very surprised tone.

“I think saying that my father is a master in that discipline is really not an exaggeration… though he cannot really be renowned for it, for obvious reasons.”

Possessimency is a very high-level form of Dark Magic that uses a base of Occlumency and Legilimency and resembles the Imperius Curse in many ways, but has crucial differences. When particularly well mastered, Possessimency allows a highly skilled Possessimens to do more than control an individual’s behaviour. It can allow him or her to \"possess\" another individual, in a way, and to act as a guide from within and virtually become the other, while still giving him or her enough room to coexist. It is mainly used for protection in combat situations, as it allows an individual to be assisted by another even at great distance, which allows their agility, strength, flexibility, reflexes, magical capacities, and so on to be combined and used as one. When particularly well mastered, Possessimency even allows the Possessimens to receive some or all the injuries inflicted on the other individual, which enables him or her to fight longer and better… and without feeling any pain. Such highly trained Possessimens are practically impossible to find. In addition, given the fact that the power to protect and assist can also become the power to lead to someone’s death, Possessimency is completely illegal.

“You told me that the Dark Arts were not something unknown at all in your family, but Possessimency is another story! How far did you go in your training?” I asked.

“As you can guess,” he sighed, apparently willing to explain himself better, “Legilimency and Occlumency skills are something highly valued and praised in the Snape family; I got the innate disposition from my father’s side. Traditionally, my father’s ancestors transmitted the art of Possessimency from generation to generation. My father started my training at a very young age; this is how I developed my Legilimency and Occlumency skills and refined them over the years. At first, the training itself taught me the basics, and they had plenty of occasions to be refined with very formative and eloquent experiences I derived from simply living alongside my father and, later, by flirting with the danger that the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters represented. Once I mastered Legilimency and Occlumency satisfyingly, my father started my training as a Possessimens; it was the next logical level of skills to aim for. We began when I was a very young adolescent, one year after I entered Hogwarts. The training was very hard and long…” he explained, his last words dying away and his eyes drifting to a very ominous place.

“Why was it so hard, Severus?” I asked, in an attempt to bring him back to a more comforting present.

“Maintaining the Possessimency link requires the protector to be highly resistant and capable of almost imperturbable concentration. Therefore, one must be able to endure many types of pain while performing and maintaining the link, and you can be certain that my father made sure I would learn to master that part first. Sometimes, especially when he was drunk, I could swear that he was enjoying the pain he was inflicting upon me.”

“By Cerridwen…” I whispered, moving to sit on one of his armrests and stroking his back in sympathy.

“This is all in the past now,” he retorted, his shoulders relaxing slightly under my gentle touch. “Anyway… I trained for years until the end of my adolescence and I managed to get that far, but never to the level of competence my father would have wished for me.”

“What went wrong? Why did you not master it? It is very unlike you…”

“To be very effective, Possessimency requires from the Possessimens a strong desire to control another, which was not a problem. To act as a protective spell, however, it requires the protector to make a selfless act… and, as young and… well, bloody perturbed as I was, I was certainly not disposed to perform such an act. I was far more preoccupied by saving my own skin before even thinking of saving others, let alone accepting to modulate the Possessimency link so I would take the wounds my father inflicted on himself during my training sessions.”

“I see… but that is only human,” I softly commented, moving up to massage his shoulders.

“Oh, so human indeed!” he sadly sneered. “And so very disappointing for Snape senior, the great master Possessimens! He made it pretty bloody clear that he would simply not accept failure and he doubled, even tripled his efforts. We almost trained every night, at the end! He was really obsessed by it, Antanasia… he kept saying that I would never earn the right to be called a real wizard, let alone the right to be called a real Snape, before I reached his level. I can still hear him rambling on about how I would never be able to protect my family against the dangers of this world if I did not train properly… he was infernal!”

Severus’ last words ended in a pained yelp. In his agitation, Severus clutched his glass so hard that it broke in his hand. Several pieces of broken glass were planted in his palm and the alcohol burned the many small wounds they inflicted him.

“Well, at least it is all disinfected,” I calmly said, sitting on his lap and working to remove all the pieces of glass from his hand as he stared at it with a surprised expression. “Go on, Severus, I will take care of this… why did he stop training you?”

“I made it look like I simply made the decision to move on and start my adult life, but to be honest, I fled the house,” he replied, his voice becoming less and less tense as I slowly worked to clean and close the wounds in his hand. “I just could not take it anymore. I lived in a Death Eater’s flat until I gathered enough money to rent one of my own.”

“There… the wounds were small; I was able to close them completely,” I concluded, after a period of silence that allowed me to ponder a reply to Severus’ difficult tale. “I think you made the right decision, Severus; I would have fled the house far before you did. The hell with what he said or thinks! I personally think you are an astoundingly accomplished wizard, Possessimens or not, and I have no doubt that you will be able to protect your family very well, like you already are.”

“You really do not have to say that… but thank you,” he simply replied, giving me a quick kiss in the neck.

“I guess you do not wish to inform your father of my pregnancy?”

“Oh, he will have to know sooner or later…” he said, “but I do not want to think about when right now.”

“It is getting late anyway,” I commented, looking at my watch. “We should dispatch tomorrow’s lessons and go to bed.”

“Tomorrow’s lessons are on me; you need to get used to Hogwarts’ schedule more than I do,” he declared, lifting me from the armchair with him. “As for your proposition to go to bed, it is gladly accepted.”

He carried me to his bedroom and we calmly got undressed. It was nice, I thought in passing, to store my clothes in his drawers and closet instead of folding them on a chair as I usually did in the past. That night, Severus’ arms, tightly wrapped around my chest, both provided and asked for protection as we slowly drifted to sleep in the comfort of his bed. Both his wishes were granted.

~*~

AUTHOR’S NOTES

As always, thanks for your patience! And comments are always welcome… and needed! :o)