Unrequited

Don't own them, never will.


I need sleep, I need love, I need fun, I need girls, I need sun, I need hope, I need help
I need dope, I need her, I need it, I can’t run, I can’t sit
I got pain, I got pain, I got pain
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I spent the rest of the winter watching my belly growing larger, my face getting puffier, my temper becoming shorter. I missed Draco. I didn’t see him at all except for classes and my trips to the Hospital Wing. The stress was beginning to wear on me. But I’d be damned if I said it before he did. That’s not how it worked for me. I refused to put myself out there, chained not only with a child but also by unrequited feelings.

February was mild and I pined and got hit with heartburn so bad that I thought my vocal cords were going to be seared from my throat. I wished Draco had been there to fetch me a glass of milk from the kitchens.

March, true to the old wives’ tale, was rough going in but exited the year meeker than a newly born lamb. My heartburn subsided and I went shopping for baby clothing with Ginny. She kept me from buying an unfortunate green baby grow with cartoonish looking baby dragons embroidered on it. I snuck back to the store and bought it anyway.

My uniform finally refused to fit and Professor McGonagall summoned Madam Malkin to Hogwarts to measure me for a new kit. To my surprise, they weren’t bigger versions of the standard outfit. The kilt was turned into a pinafore. I resembled nothing more than a walking plaid tablecloth. Harry and Ron thought it was hilarious. I smacked them both.

I watched Draco from across the Great Hall at every mealtime. I knew he watched me, too. He stopped coming to my appointments with Madam Pomfrey. She would give me these pitying glances every time she looked at me. She told me that from here on out Allegra would be gaining a half-pound a week. Great. I felt every ounce of those half-pounds settling on my hips.

I even started to waddle.

But that wasn’t the worst. No, it wasn’t. The worst was going back to my lonely room every night and wishing for someone to rub my feet or fetch me ice cream from the kitchens. I had to do it myself. I wanted to go back to him. I did – down to the meat and marrow of me. But I wouldn’t do until he told me what I knew to be true.

The stress of separation began to take its toll on him as well. He dwindled from lean to scrawny. Whenever he wore a short sleeved shirt, I could see his elbows sticking out sharply from the skin. The weather broke at the end of March and all the boys, restless from their months of winter confinement donned shorts and gathered up their brooms for an impromptu Quidditch scrimmage. I now had about ten weeks left to go in my pregnancy and consequently was both as big as a house and constantly overheated. The unexpectedly mild temperatures brought a sheen of sweat to my face and made the curls of my fringe stick my forehead. I decided to leave off the uniform and join the rest of the students in their skiving off.

I climbed awkwardly to sit in the bleachers with a book, enjoying the breeze and the shouts of laughter. Allegra moved hard against my ribs and I soothed her back with a circling hand. I saw a bright blond flash zoom by on a sleek broom. My erstwhile husband. God, he looked delicious, even as thin as he was. His hair was slick with perspiration and his thin shirt clung to his back. I set aside my book to watch him in earnest.

I felt my body warming, tightening in a familiar way that had escaped me for the past few months. I watched him execute a particularly daring aerial twist before sending the quaffle into its hoop. The smile that broke over his face was the most genuine one I had seen in quite some time and my heart swelled with unanticipated happiness at his glee. For the first time I found myself watching a Quidditch match with every ounce of attention. I noticed the beauty of the flying patterns, the determination on every face. Even a few of the teachers had gotten in on the act. Snape, having once been a referee, played that role again. His sallow face was nearly flushed with excitement and I realized that even my sour old Potions professor deserved some moments of joy.

Allegra gave me a sharp kick to the bladder and I needed use the loo immediately. I got up gingerly and picked my way down the stadium steps. My eyes were glued to my fair-haired husband.
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I saw her sitting there. Her buttercup yellow shirt floated lazily around her body, clinging slightly to her turgid belly. She wore cropped white pants beneath the shirt and they showed off her magnificent calves. Hermione moved slowly and carefully down the banister-less steps. I noticed that she was watching me as I watched her and our eyes locked for a split second. A flush of heat spiraled through me when I recognized that gleam in her eyes.

The little witch wanted me. The realization put a smirk on my face. She made it down to the doorway cut into the wall of the pitch and disappeared. I faked a cramp and left the game to go find my wife.

I caught up with her just as she came out of the loo. I’d forgotten how tiny and delicate she was next to me. She barely came to my shoulder. Her curls were piled on top of her head haphazardly and her cheeks were flushed with what I hoped was excitement.

“Draco.” Her tone was curt and breathless at once.

“I saw you watching me.”

“I was watching everyone.”

“No you weren’t.”

Her face flushed even redder and she averted her face. “So what if I was watching you?”

I gripped her chin to look at me. “It matters a great deal, wife.”

I kissed her, feeling the living round of our child pressing into my abdomen. She slid her hands into the hair at the nape of my neck. Her fingers were so soft and gentle, almost tickling. I backed her into the wall and slid my lips from hers to the side of her neck. She smelled heavenly – a mixture of the strawberry and lemon lotion she wore and the slight salt of her perspiration. My hands went on an expedition to rediscover her breasts. They were much fuller and heavier than I remembered. The weight of them was delicious in my palms. I could feel her nipples pebbling beneath the twin layers of shirt and bra. I thumbed them swiftly, delighting in her soft exhalation of breath.

I tried to get closer to her and swore when I couldn’t. I couldn’t be too unhappy about it when my child was the cause. I smiled against her neck and slid a hand down to caress her belly. I felt the baby press hard into my fingers and I raised my head to look at Hermione wonderingly. She gave me a gently rueful smile.

That’s when I knew that the spell of a sweet spring day had been broken. Hermione levered herself from the wall and gave me a parting kiss before leaving me completely.