Triumph Out of the Bitter Taste of Ashes
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
6,812
Reviews:
244
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
6,812
Reviews:
244
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Thirty
Deb -- Thanks for the review! : ) I\'d have to say, not really, more a case of burying the emotional aspects and trying to deal with it all logically . . . no saying how long it\'ll last. Of course with time, she may be able to view the whole thing with far less antipathy than she has so far. And, I do get the wanting the fairy tale ending too. Done right, I can see it happening, just don\'t hold your breath for it to be this particular story. : ) I will give you a little hint though, the baby won\'t be disappearing from her life completely.
Shelly -- as always, your comments are highly valued. : ) Sorry I didn\'t respond back to you immediately, but I lost your email during mass email dump. :(
**********
Chapter Thirty
**********
Completely ignoring the lesson plans on his office desk that needed finalizing before the student\'s return tomorrow. Professor Snape leaned back in his chair, lost in thought. He was in something of a quandary. It wasn\'t as if he wasn\'t usually in one or another situation requiring him to make difficult decisions, but this . . . this was one he\'d never been in before. While, he was heartened that Granger had seemed to take his advice and was now eating properly, that was entirely part of the problem he was now considering.
**Considering? Try worrying like a dog with a bone!**
He snorted, his frown lifting into wry acknowledgement of his new . . . predicament. For the very first time . . . ever. He found himself having feelings of *friendship* for a student, a *Gryffindor* student no less. There wasn\'t anything particularly \'wrong\' with that fact. That wasn\'t the root of the problem. After all, despite the brat the blond boy had been for most of his schooling, young Draco had always held a place in his heart. What made *that* different was his feelings toward the young man were not those of a friend.
The Snape and Malfoy families had always been close associates, and it was no different now -- even *with* the difference in philosophy that had developed. He reluctantly, and much to his chagrin, saw Draco as something approximating a surrogate son. One he had never wanted, it was true, but that fact didn\'t change the situation one iota. All in all, he was still better equipped to deal with that, than he was this new conundrum. After all, he knew the end of school would not see the end of his and Draco\'s association.
He sighed. And now he was hitting the crux of his . . . concerns. He had always been a loner, an outcast for the most part, and had let very few people close enough to him to call them friend. How Hermione Granger had managed to breech his protective walls and firmly ensconce herself atop them, sitting securely -- if not a trifle smugly -- between Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall, completely baffled him. It pretty much went without saying that he was not a pleasant man. For the most part, he didn\'t like people -- *young* people he liked even less -- and he wasn\'t afraid to let that show. That tended to put people off--
**Thinking the obvious now, Severus Snape?** he derided himself. **Next thing you know, you\'ll be leaping to the rescue with no thought to the consequences!**
He rolled his eyes, sneering sourly. He had nearly crossed *that* cursed line already, when he had attempted to get the stupid girl to take care of herself. He had watched her wasting away, losing weight rapidly despite her pregnancy. He had merely meant to get her to see she was punishing *herself* as well as the child, all because of something a third person had done. When he\'d begun speaking, he\'d certainly *never* meant to bring his own behavior into the spotlight -- Merlin forbid! -- let alone the very personal reasons behind them! Those were his business and his business alone as far as he was concerned.
Though he *did* have to reluctantly admit, she had handled the rather awkward situation surprisingly well. He\'d been on edge for three days following th. . . . incident, snapping at everyone even more than usual, wondering when she was going to bring it up, when she was going to start trying to *talk* about it. She hadn\'t, though, not once. Oh, he had not missed her silent self-wrestling sessions -- there wasn\'t a Gryffindor out there with enough subtlety to get that kind of thing past him with the rather blatant exception of Albus Dumbledore; age did have its privileges -- but Granger had surprised him by seemingly accepting what he\'d said, and even more by leaving it alone.
He had absolutely no doubt he\'d made the wrong response to her shocking accusation and that it had answered her question rather than avoid it as had been his intent; he\'d known that the instant his reprimand was out of his mouth. Her widening eyes and horrified expression had been proof enough that, instead of sidetracking her, it had merely settled the matter in her mind.
Severus shuddered, snarling immediately after. This was beyond stupid. He was acting like a misguided child. Miss Granger, like all the students before her, would be leaving at the end of this year, most likely never to return. That was the way of the world. To form any kind of . . . attachment to her would only result in hurt. He *knew* that. That was only one of the myriad reasons he never even *considered* befriending any of his students.
**So, why did I allow her to get so close?** he asked himself sourly, sighing heavily. He had no clue, but as of this moment, he was determined not to allow it to go any further. There was no sense in it. The silly girl was still at that age that friendships came and went nearly as easily as one replaced socks, while he-- No! he was not going there.
A knock on the classroom jerked his head up, a scowl automatically forming. \"Come in,\" he snarled, wondering who would be bothering him *this* time of the evening, most everyone else was still at dinner.
It was with a startling double-beat of his heart that he realized who his visitor was, and his scowl deepened as he shoved aside that odd physical reaction.
**So, it\'s true. \'Think of the devil and she appears\',** he thought, smirking.
\"Just what do I owe the . . . *pleasure* of this visit, Miss Granger?\" he asked, his tone twisting the words to mean the opposite of what they implied. Ah, yes, the subtle insults were always the best.
She merely grinned, dropping into the chair across the desk from him.
**When in Merlin\'s name did she start doing that?** he wondered with surprise. **I snarl at her, pretty much tell her that her visit is unwanted and she just grins.** He *had* to be losing his touch! That\'s all there was too it.
\"I need your help,\" she said quietly.
\"I do not recall authorizing you to seat yourself,\" he sneered, glaring at her, not responding to her comment, and watched as she fought laughter -- *laughter*.
\"No, Sir, you did not,\" she acknowledged readily.
Nearly grinning with malicious glee -- but stopping himself just in time -- Severus drew in a breath to roundly scold the brazen chit when she continued.
\"Of course, if I\'d waited to sit down, you\'d have merely snapped at me to \'take a seat already\',\" she said, grinning. \"I opted to get yelled out while sitting, instead of while standing.\"
He let out a completely unexpected snort of laughter, all the while wondering when he\'d become so bloody predictable. Smirking, he nodded, conceding her point silently. \"What could you possibly need my help with?\" he asked, deciding that a distraction was needed, and what better one than the stated purpose of her visit. He knew she had finished up the calculations and comparisons he had asked her to do. That paperwork was sitting on the desk in his chambers. So that couldn\'t be what she needed help with. She wasn\'t working on any potion project at the moment -- not the he was aware of. He frowned. That left only one thing he could think of that she might need his assistance with, and that left him feeling vaguely uncomfortable. What *kind* of help was could she *possibly* be thinking of? Several scenarios came to mind in rapid succession and he *really* didn\'t like any of them.
\"I would like your help in finding a suitable family for the baby.\"
Severus blinked several times, slow to process her startling request. That was not anywhere on his list of things she might request.
\"Professor McGonagall would be the person to ask that of,\" he said abruptly.
Across the desk from him, Miss Granger \'wilted\' -- there was no better word for it. \"I see, Sir,\" she replied, disappointment echoing in the otherwise silent office.
He felt an unaccustomed tug where he usually kept his seldom used sense of guilt -- at least where students were concerned. Frowning, he sighed. \"Why do you think I will be able to help you with this?\" he asked finally, just as she was beginning to rise out of her chair. Her nearly blinding grin pulled an echo response deep inside Severus and it was then that he knew, with all the suddenness of epiphany. He was in this deeper than he\'d ever thought possible, and it would take a miracle to get him back out.
TBC
Kiristeen
Feedback: a muses necessity. : ) And muchly appreciated.
Kiristeen@kiristeen.com
Shelly -- as always, your comments are highly valued. : ) Sorry I didn\'t respond back to you immediately, but I lost your email during mass email dump. :(
**********
Chapter Thirty
**********
Completely ignoring the lesson plans on his office desk that needed finalizing before the student\'s return tomorrow. Professor Snape leaned back in his chair, lost in thought. He was in something of a quandary. It wasn\'t as if he wasn\'t usually in one or another situation requiring him to make difficult decisions, but this . . . this was one he\'d never been in before. While, he was heartened that Granger had seemed to take his advice and was now eating properly, that was entirely part of the problem he was now considering.
**Considering? Try worrying like a dog with a bone!**
He snorted, his frown lifting into wry acknowledgement of his new . . . predicament. For the very first time . . . ever. He found himself having feelings of *friendship* for a student, a *Gryffindor* student no less. There wasn\'t anything particularly \'wrong\' with that fact. That wasn\'t the root of the problem. After all, despite the brat the blond boy had been for most of his schooling, young Draco had always held a place in his heart. What made *that* different was his feelings toward the young man were not those of a friend.
The Snape and Malfoy families had always been close associates, and it was no different now -- even *with* the difference in philosophy that had developed. He reluctantly, and much to his chagrin, saw Draco as something approximating a surrogate son. One he had never wanted, it was true, but that fact didn\'t change the situation one iota. All in all, he was still better equipped to deal with that, than he was this new conundrum. After all, he knew the end of school would not see the end of his and Draco\'s association.
He sighed. And now he was hitting the crux of his . . . concerns. He had always been a loner, an outcast for the most part, and had let very few people close enough to him to call them friend. How Hermione Granger had managed to breech his protective walls and firmly ensconce herself atop them, sitting securely -- if not a trifle smugly -- between Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall, completely baffled him. It pretty much went without saying that he was not a pleasant man. For the most part, he didn\'t like people -- *young* people he liked even less -- and he wasn\'t afraid to let that show. That tended to put people off--
**Thinking the obvious now, Severus Snape?** he derided himself. **Next thing you know, you\'ll be leaping to the rescue with no thought to the consequences!**
He rolled his eyes, sneering sourly. He had nearly crossed *that* cursed line already, when he had attempted to get the stupid girl to take care of herself. He had watched her wasting away, losing weight rapidly despite her pregnancy. He had merely meant to get her to see she was punishing *herself* as well as the child, all because of something a third person had done. When he\'d begun speaking, he\'d certainly *never* meant to bring his own behavior into the spotlight -- Merlin forbid! -- let alone the very personal reasons behind them! Those were his business and his business alone as far as he was concerned.
Though he *did* have to reluctantly admit, she had handled the rather awkward situation surprisingly well. He\'d been on edge for three days following th. . . . incident, snapping at everyone even more than usual, wondering when she was going to bring it up, when she was going to start trying to *talk* about it. She hadn\'t, though, not once. Oh, he had not missed her silent self-wrestling sessions -- there wasn\'t a Gryffindor out there with enough subtlety to get that kind of thing past him with the rather blatant exception of Albus Dumbledore; age did have its privileges -- but Granger had surprised him by seemingly accepting what he\'d said, and even more by leaving it alone.
He had absolutely no doubt he\'d made the wrong response to her shocking accusation and that it had answered her question rather than avoid it as had been his intent; he\'d known that the instant his reprimand was out of his mouth. Her widening eyes and horrified expression had been proof enough that, instead of sidetracking her, it had merely settled the matter in her mind.
Severus shuddered, snarling immediately after. This was beyond stupid. He was acting like a misguided child. Miss Granger, like all the students before her, would be leaving at the end of this year, most likely never to return. That was the way of the world. To form any kind of . . . attachment to her would only result in hurt. He *knew* that. That was only one of the myriad reasons he never even *considered* befriending any of his students.
**So, why did I allow her to get so close?** he asked himself sourly, sighing heavily. He had no clue, but as of this moment, he was determined not to allow it to go any further. There was no sense in it. The silly girl was still at that age that friendships came and went nearly as easily as one replaced socks, while he-- No! he was not going there.
A knock on the classroom jerked his head up, a scowl automatically forming. \"Come in,\" he snarled, wondering who would be bothering him *this* time of the evening, most everyone else was still at dinner.
It was with a startling double-beat of his heart that he realized who his visitor was, and his scowl deepened as he shoved aside that odd physical reaction.
**So, it\'s true. \'Think of the devil and she appears\',** he thought, smirking.
\"Just what do I owe the . . . *pleasure* of this visit, Miss Granger?\" he asked, his tone twisting the words to mean the opposite of what they implied. Ah, yes, the subtle insults were always the best.
She merely grinned, dropping into the chair across the desk from him.
**When in Merlin\'s name did she start doing that?** he wondered with surprise. **I snarl at her, pretty much tell her that her visit is unwanted and she just grins.** He *had* to be losing his touch! That\'s all there was too it.
\"I need your help,\" she said quietly.
\"I do not recall authorizing you to seat yourself,\" he sneered, glaring at her, not responding to her comment, and watched as she fought laughter -- *laughter*.
\"No, Sir, you did not,\" she acknowledged readily.
Nearly grinning with malicious glee -- but stopping himself just in time -- Severus drew in a breath to roundly scold the brazen chit when she continued.
\"Of course, if I\'d waited to sit down, you\'d have merely snapped at me to \'take a seat already\',\" she said, grinning. \"I opted to get yelled out while sitting, instead of while standing.\"
He let out a completely unexpected snort of laughter, all the while wondering when he\'d become so bloody predictable. Smirking, he nodded, conceding her point silently. \"What could you possibly need my help with?\" he asked, deciding that a distraction was needed, and what better one than the stated purpose of her visit. He knew she had finished up the calculations and comparisons he had asked her to do. That paperwork was sitting on the desk in his chambers. So that couldn\'t be what she needed help with. She wasn\'t working on any potion project at the moment -- not the he was aware of. He frowned. That left only one thing he could think of that she might need his assistance with, and that left him feeling vaguely uncomfortable. What *kind* of help was could she *possibly* be thinking of? Several scenarios came to mind in rapid succession and he *really* didn\'t like any of them.
\"I would like your help in finding a suitable family for the baby.\"
Severus blinked several times, slow to process her startling request. That was not anywhere on his list of things she might request.
\"Professor McGonagall would be the person to ask that of,\" he said abruptly.
Across the desk from him, Miss Granger \'wilted\' -- there was no better word for it. \"I see, Sir,\" she replied, disappointment echoing in the otherwise silent office.
He felt an unaccustomed tug where he usually kept his seldom used sense of guilt -- at least where students were concerned. Frowning, he sighed. \"Why do you think I will be able to help you with this?\" he asked finally, just as she was beginning to rise out of her chair. Her nearly blinding grin pulled an echo response deep inside Severus and it was then that he knew, with all the suddenness of epiphany. He was in this deeper than he\'d ever thought possible, and it would take a miracle to get him back out.
TBC
Kiristeen
Feedback: a muses necessity. : ) And muchly appreciated.
Kiristeen@kiristeen.com