Dirty deeds

24 January (Friday)

Owl arrived from Severus this morning. Reason for delay in arrival obvious from its contents.

Dear Miss Granger

I am sorry to have to inform you that, for reasons that will become apparent, I am unable to meet your parents this weekend.

Having had the leisure to consider the events of last weekend, it seems to me that we were both premature in entering into an engagement on such short acquaintance.

Indeed, whilst our liaison has been very pleasant, I feel that the time has come to end it, whilst we still have happy memories. I hope that you will keep the ring as a memento of our time together,

Best regards

Professor Severus Snape.

The bastard. The shit head. The wanker. The fucker. The cunt. The absolute shit-licking pox ridden bastard child of a syphilitic whore and a leprous whoremonger.

I am going to kill him. I am going to cut his prick off and pickle it. I am going to rip his head off and spit down the bloody hole. I am going to fill his bones with molten lead whilst he is still breathing. I am going to flay him alive and use him for a book cover, and then roll him in salt. I am going to hang draw and BLOODY quarter him.

I will make anything Voldemort ever did to him look like a bloody picnic.

Short acquaintance!

Liaison!

Keep the ring???!!

I am going to insert the ring so far into his anal cavity he will be wearing it on his tongue.

And to dump me by owl. The COWARD.

Apparated to gates of Hogwarts and went storming up the drive. Bumped into Professor McGonagall. She looked shifty. Open secret then that there was trouble in paradise. Been laughing about it over your cornflakes this morning. Bitch. Asked her where he was between clenched teeth. She refused to tell me, and asked whether it was wise to pursue the matter.

Called her an old harridan and to fuck off. May not be wise but was bloody well going to have it out with him – he owed me that much at least.

The Dumbledore appeared and he gave me some old flannel about Severus not being there. Had gone away for a few days for some peace and quiet. In term time. Not bloody likely. Headed off towards dungeons, but he cheated and made the staircases refuse to move for me. Men all stick together. Bastards.

By this stage was incandescent with fury. Could have used me to light cigarettes. Or provide power for a large town.

He got me into his office somehow and forced a brandy down me. Called him a bloody interfering doddering old fool – day not entirely without joy then, he has had that coming for a very long time.

He flooed Ron to come and pick me up. Told him that I had had bad shock and poor delicate flower like myself needed to be escorted off the premises and soothed and looked after. Nothing at all to do with preventing me from finding the soon-to-be-dickless Potions Master and having a fully fledged fight on his hands. Severus may frighten a lot of people, but the mood I was in I could have chewed him up and spat out the pieces. Literally.

Ron came and I was duly flooed to his house. Pansy was there and not looking very happy. Suppose she thought I was after her precious little Ronniekins. She needn’t worry – no chance of that ever happening without a lust potion or chloroform, for both of us.

Ron ummed and ahhed but told her that best not to leave me alone in this state. Last time he had seen me like that I had tried to top McNair by beating him over the head with a chair. Very nearly succeeded too. Bastards pulled me off before I could get really going, and hit Harry by mistake. Gave him a lovely black eye.

So was then shunted off to Harry at Malfoy Manor. If had been in mood for a laugh would have been amused to see Lucius’s face when his best Napoleon brandy was being poured down my neck for shock. To give him his due he poured out the second glass himself when I managed to choke out what had happened. Been dumped. Heartless bastard never loved me.

Harry put an arm round me and said that we would hunt him down like the greasy git he was and make him pay. Draco and Lucius were thinking what’s with the we business. They got even twitchier when he said it would be quite like old times – hunting down evil bastards together.

Lucius then asked to see the letter in question. Brandy had addled my brains to extent that happy to do so. Was sitting there sniffing and frankly snottling all over Lucius’s nice sofa, when he said that he had never seen Snape so besotted over anything up to and including very expensive potions textbooks and that whatever was going on was not because not in love.

Perked up a bit at this. Harry looked a little disappointed but then conceded that Snape had looked head over heels and matter needed investigating before he was de-bollocked.

Think Lucius and Draco think that was an exaggeration. They think that ex-deatheater Slytherins have the monopoly on mindless violence. Bloody wrong. If you want mayhem there is nothing to beat a very pissed-off Gryffindor.


Harry was despatched to my flat to pick up some stuff and it was agreed that they would see what they could find out whilst I had some dinner and a bit of a clean up. Council of war to be held in a couple of hours once they had contacted their sources.

Harry called Ron who called Pansy who owled her little sister at Hogwarts for whatever gossip she had. Harry flooed over to see Dumbledore, not because he thought the old sod would tell him anything but so he could have a quick word with Dobby and check with the Marauders’ Map to see whether Severus was still in the school. Draco owled Ginny to come and give me moral support and tissues.

Lucius just poured me another glass of brandy and then showed me to a guest bedroom.

A/N - there will be a Ginny Lucius story I think, due to popular demand, and I quite like the idea of submissive Lucius.