Strong Enough

CER 3ER 31 WHEN DOVES CRY

Thanks to Zephyr for beta’ing and support!!

Thanks at the bottom

Not mine, hers.

“How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that\'s so cold?
Maybe I\'m just 2 demanding
Maybe I\'m just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you\'re just like my mother
She\'s never satisfied
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry”

Prince, When doves cry

Hermione was storming through the corridors, fear and anger exuding from every pore. The two parts of her, the woman and the fighter, were battling it out in her head. She knew it was a selfish way to act, and she remembered how angry she got when he was being overprotective of her, but the thought of him at the hands of Voldemort made the bile rise up into her throat. She needed to vent her anger and she knew it.

Ginny stood to go after Hermione but Severus grabbed her arm \"Leave her\" he said quietly \"You do not want to follow her now unless you like being hurt, as she is liable to lash out at you, I will find her soon enough\"

Ginny turned from the door reluctantly and resumed her place besides Draco, who looked at her and gave her a little smile of encouragement.

\"Make sure you do Severus,\" said Albus, seriously. \"We need her in this. I think that between the four of you, and the two of us,\" he motioned to himself and Minerva, \"we can do enough networking to ensure a decent army by graduation,\" he sighed. \"It is time to get everyone of the side of the light involved in this, we do not have long.\" He looked over at Draco. \"Will it look suspicious if you stay here tonight?\" He asked.

\"No,\" said Draco. \"They will just think that I snuck in to see Ginny, as far as they are concerned that can only be good for them,\" he said bitterly.

\"Fine, then I suggest that we all meet in my office first thing tomorrow morning and get started on a plan,\" he looked at Severus and said in a quiet voice. \"You know that Hermione is right don’t you, there is a good chance that they’ll kill you Are you ready to go back? Because you don‘t have to.\"

Severus looked away from where Ginny had begun to heal Draco, and faced the old wizard \"Yes, I do have to, for their sakes,\" he motioned to the couple in front of him, \"and for mine and hers. I will take off the balm tonight and see if he calls me tomorrow,\" he grimaced slightly. \"That’s if I’m not back in here byn.\"n.\"

Albus smiled slightly. \"Going to find your lady love?\"

\"Yes, wish me luck?\" He said sarcastically and with a pointed nod at the two spies, he swept out of the room.

He knew exactly where she would be and sure enough as he reached the room of requirements, the door was visible. He had a bad feeling about this meeting, but it had to be done. He understood why she was acting the way she was. He knew he would be the same if their roles were reversed, but it was who he was, he owed it to the wizarding community, to himself, to go back, to do the right thing. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

He didn’t know what he was expecting but it wasn’t the sight that greeted him. The room of requirements had been transformed into the unused classroom where he had taught Hermione defense against the dark arts when she was a student. It was dirty and dusty but Hermione seemed not to notice she was attacking the old punch bag so fiercely that Severus was glad that it was held up with magic or it would definitely had ended up being smashed through the wall.

She didn’t look round at him as he approached but she knew he was there. \"Leave me alone Severus.\" She said, in a determined voice.

(Just like when I taught her,) thought Severus with some pride, wondering how she could still gor gorgeous in sweat pants and a vest. \"Hermione, you need to calm down, we need to talk about this,\" he said slightly wincing as she swung round and kicked the bag.

\"We really don’t.\" She replied, and carried on viciously punching the bag.

\"I have to go back, you know I do,\" he said, trying to appeal to the auror in her. \"Hermione, we are in the middle of a war,\" he sighed, \"We do what we must and sometimes that means risking lives, you are an auror, you know the risks.\"

\"The risks I take are necessary Severus, the risks you are taking are not,\" she said sharply, still pummeling the bag.

He looked at her indignantly. \"Are you implying that you are a better fighter than me?\" he said, wondering how he could love her and want to smack her at her the same time. She had basically called him useless again.

\"I am better equipped to deal with it if that is what you are asking,\" she said. \"I am trained to do this, you are just doing it so you don’t get left out.\"

Severus walked over to her, forcefully pulling off his robes, shoes and socks and rolling up his shirtsleeves as he did. She was pushing him away, trying to distance herself from him. He understood this; he had done it all his life. He knew he should ignore it but he couldn’t let it go \"Trained are you?\" he sneered, \"and who, pray tell, trained you? I am under the impression that it was me, but please enlighten me if it was someone else.\"

\"I’m not getting into this with you again, do what you have to,\" she said.
He just didn’t understand. She felt like she was losing sight of what she had come here for. She loved him and she needed him but he was making it hard for her to do her job. She couldn’t be impassive and uncaring; if she knew that he was out there, with them.

Severus noticed that she hadn’t bandaged her hands and that they were starting to bleed, she hadn‘t even noticed. He had forgotten what that sort of rage felt like. She had made him forget. He stood behind her and put one hand on her waist. She spun around, fist raised but he was too fast for her and caught her arm before it connected with his face.
\"We are going to sort this out Hermione,\" he said, quietly.

\"Fuck off Severus,\" she snapped and tried to pull her arm away, but he was holding her too tight. She tried again to snatch her arm away but he held fast. \"Get off me,\" she said with warning coloring her voice. When he showed no signs of letting go, she sighed angrily. \"Yes, it was you who trained me to be a fighter but it was the Ministry who trained me to be an auror, you have no business going back to them.\"

He pushed her away from him. \"Come on then,\" he said, standing in front of her arms held wide apart. \"Let us see what you have learned from them, that you didn’t learn from me shall we?\"

She shook her head and looked away, \"We’ve done this already, it’s not going to prove anything.\"

\"On the contrary my dear, it will prove that you are still a silly little girl with delusions of grandeur… Delusions of being a big bad dark wizard catcher,\" he said, once again trying to goad her into a response.

Her head snapped around and she narrowed her eyes. \"You really want to do this?\" she asked.

\"I see no other option,\" he said. \"You only respond to violence, lets finish what we started in the infirmary.\"

She stalked over to him and punched him in the face.

\"That’s my girl,\" he said with a smile as he circled her, jabbing her in the ribs.

They foughr ovr over an hour, goading each other with spiteful words and hurting each other with forceful blows but neither getting the upper hand for very long. The sweat was streaming off their bodies, which were bruised and bloody. They were still circling each other, but slower now, their breathing heavy. Finally Severus spoke.

\"This is what I do Hermione, what I did before you came back. This has been my life for twenty plus years. I am not a teacher… I am a fighter.\" She stopped circling him and just watched him. \"I cannot and will not just stand by watching you risk your life while I do nothing, knowing that I may be able to make a difference.\" He said looking her in the eyes.

\"So you’ve said,\" she muttered, \"But I don’t want you to go.\" The words even sounded childish to her ears and she realized that she couldn’t change him any more than he could change her. And more to the point, she didn’t want to. He walked over to her and ran his hand softly down her face.

\"Don’t you think that I know that I’m being unreasonable Severus,\" she said as she leaned into his touch, \"I can’t help it.\" He kissed her softly, on her forehead, on her eyelids and finally on her mouth. She rested her head on his chest. \"I can’t let you go, they’ll torture you again or worse, they‘ll kill you,\" she finished sadly.

\"You can’t stop me, Hermione; imagine how you would feel if I demanded that you stop being an auror. It’s in our blood… In our soul… It’s who we are. \"

\"If you loved me you would stay,\" she said, knowing how unfair a statement it was.

\"If you loved me you wouldn’t ask me to,\" he countered, wondering why there was a deep pain in his chest.

\"I won’t be able to protect you from them,\" she mumbled into his chest, trying to stop the tears from coming.

\"I don’t need protecting from them,\" he said, kissing the top of her head and smiling at the thought of this tiny woman wanting to protect him, and knowing that she was capable of doing it.

\"I love you,\" she whispered, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

\"And I love you.\" He said brushing his lips against hers.

\"You are going aren’t you?\" she asked resignedly, knowing the answer.

\"I have to,\" he said, finally.

She broke the embrace and walked across the room. With her back to him she said, \"So do I. I’m leaving Hogwarts tomorrow morning. I just can’t watch you go back to them so readily on the word of a deatheater, a Malfoy deatheater at that.\"

Severus looked startled. \"What do you mean, leaving? Where are you going?\"

\"I have asked to be reassigned, I just spoke to Moody and he has agreed, the rest of my team will stay here.\"

Severus hadn’t expected this and felt a heavy weight settling in his stomach. He asked the question he had been dreading since he walked into the room. \"What about us?\"

Hermione’s face began to crumble, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She had made a decision and as much as it was killing her, she knew it was the right one.
\"I don’t think there can be an us while this war is on Severus,\" she said in a small voice that didn’t sound like her own. She couldn’t look at him as she continued, so she stared at the punch bag in front of her. \"I think it will destroy us if we continue, look at what we do to each other now, without the help of Voldemort.\"

Severus felt his breath catch in his throat. He didn’t think she would really leave, but now he saw why she was. She was right. They both needed to haheirheir wits about them in the coming month. It didn’t stop him feeling sick at the thought of not seeing her every day.

\"And who knows, after the war, if we both survive?\" She said, tears glistening in her eyes.

\"It isn’t likely that we will though is it?\" he said, swallowing hard.

She strode across the room to him and grabbed his face, pulling him down to her and kissed him hard. \"I love you, just remember that.\" She said, her tears flowing freely now, \"and I am not just a fighter thanks to you, I’m a better person too. Thank you for being in my life Severus.\"

He choked back a sob and crushed his lips to hers, holding her face tightly to his, she responded, opening her mouth to him, biting at his tongue and lips with her teeth. He pulled her vest over her head and she ripped his shirt open, pulling it off of his arms. The feel of her hot naked torso against his chest, caused him to growl into her mouth and she shuddered with need. He effortlessly picked her up and carried her to the bed, which had appeared in the middle of the room when they had kissed. He dropped her onto the bed and climbed beside her, kissing his way down her throat across her chest, stopping to nip each rosy nipple on his journey downward. She moaned and writhed beneath him as he kissed across her stomach and pulled the sweat pants off, revealing the soft patch of hair between her legs. He kissed her thigh and paused to inhale her musky scent, knowing that it may be the last time he would ever do it and savoring the moment. She sat up and grabbed at the waistband of his trousers, the desperation clear in her eyes. He helped her with the buttons and she slid the trousers down and off. He positioned himself between her legs and Hermione nearly cried out as she felt his hard shaft resting at her entrance.
He came up to face her and whispered, \"I love you so much.\"
He kissed her and with one hard thrust, buried himself in her slick heat. They both cried out and he began to pound urgently into her. She raised her hips to meet his every plunge and crushed his lips with her own, their tongues mimicking the actions of their bodies. Hermione felt her lower regions start to tingle. Desperately she tried to hold on to the feeling as it spread down through her legs and up through her stomach and chest.
Severus felt her muscles begin to flutter around him and although he didn’t want this moment to end, all he could think of was the feeling of her coming around him. He plunged into her as far as he could go, hitting her most sensitive spot. Hermione cried out his name and bucked her body as her body began to pulse around him, and as he felt the muscles inside her, pingping him, he came with a shout of her name, shooting his essence deep into her body.

He rolled off of her and laid beside her, holding her tightly, breathless, but kissing her all over her face and neck and she felt the wetness of his tears mingle with her own and knew that if she didn’t leave now, she wouldn’t be able to. She slowly untangled herself from his arms. She silently left the bed and picked up her clothes and dressed with her back to him. He did the same thing and by the time they were done the room had changed to the DA training room. Their eyes locked with each other, both red rimmed from crying.

\"I love you Severus,\" she said gently, walking to the door and trying to breathe normally.

\"I love you Hermione,\" he said, straightening his back and trying to ignore the sound of his heart breaking.

\"I’ll see you on Graduation day.\" She said with a sad smile, and walked out of the room.

\"I hope so,\" he whispered to the empty room.

*sob*

Nesscafe : You’ll have to wait and see, you know how I love to mess things up!! xx

Deb : You are a wonderful reviewer, you know that right? I don’t know what I’m going to do when I’ve finished this and don’t have your reviews to look forward to! xx

Slytheringriffendor : Thanks!! xx

Flick : Underjoyed!! lol!! Thanks for the support!! xx

PotionsMistressM : S’up Biotch, still eating them donuts of justice? lol!! I’m getting ready for the end now, so the torment will end soon!! You rock too, update soon, yes?? luv ya xx

Brittni : You have returned!! Thanks for reviewing, hope you are still enjoying it!! xx


Apologies

I am a terrible, awful writer! I am so sorry that this has taken so long..again!! I have several different endings written out to this story and I just can’t decide which one to use, or how to get there!! So I am struggling a bit, but I promise not to stop until I’m done!!

Thank you all agaor sor sticking with it and for reviewing

Kisses
GrrArrg