Ashes of Armageddon

Once Harry was asleep, Severus came back downstairs. Hermione offered medical attention, which he declined without even bothering to be polite about it.



He worked through most of the night with Hermione, helping her draft the necessary legislation to de-centralize some of the power from the office of the Minister of Magic He exploited Ron and Neville shamelessly to do the grunt work, fetch books, and look up references. He got up only once, to check on Harry, and to cast cleaning spells on the “torture room”, removing all evidence of bloodshed that had taken place less than a day ago.



Hugo was sound asleep on one of the chairs that Severus had transfigured into a couch. Even though the rooms upstairs were now completely clean, he could not bring himself to allow Hugo to go and sleep there, as if afraid that the memory of violence still hung in the air.



In the morning, more firecalls were made, papers were signed, and Severus Snape got his legal freedom back, quite relieved that it did not take another bloody hearing or a full-fledged trial to do so. Shortly afterwards, Hermione dropped off Hugo at her parents, then returned to take Harry to St. Mungo\'s, while Neville Apparated away to talk to Ginny.



Left alone with Ron, Severus decided to delegate the last task to him.



“You should go and check on Oliver Wood, your brother, and Lee Jordan.”.



Ron\'s eyes opened wide in shock.



“Don\'t forget,” Severus said sharply. “They were under the influence of the Dark Lord\'s soul-fragment, much like Harry himself. Now that the fragment is gone, they are likely wallowing in as much guilt and terror as he, except they have absolutely no idea what had happened. Placing them on suicide watch for a few weeks might be wise.”



Ron was still staring at him incredulously, when Severus finally snapped:



“Don\'t get me wrong, Mr. Weasley - I personally do not intend to interact with those three in any manner, beyond an occasional “fuck off”, should we cross each other\'s paths by accident. However, that said, I do not believe they should be abandoned. I am given to understand they were not especially malicious or vindictive in their normal state. The Dust may have used their own thoughts and frustrations, but they would not have done anything of the sort on their own. Should they harm themselves out of guilt, or shame, or fear, it will be just another nail in Harry Potter\'s emotional coffin. So, go check on them.”



Ron finally left, and Severus breathed a sigh of relief. It is not often that soldiers get to receive absolution for the atrocities they commit, he thought wryly, and he was oddly satisfied to have played a part in delivering such an absolution for someone else.



But there was an undercurrent of some other emotion, creeping in along with the satisfaction and relief... something like resentment, he realized with a start. He shook his head incredulously, pulled a random book from a shelf in Harry\'s study, and started reading; but his thoughts were racing, and he was too wound up to focus.



Damn right, he was resentful. Why was he the one having to think of everything, worry about everything, make plans for damage control? Why was he the one keeping it all together yet again? Why was everyone looking to him for solutions and answers? Why couldn\'t they just take it from here and leave him the hell alone? Hadn\'t he deserved a bloody break by now?



Hermione returned with Harry several hours later, gave him a vial of Dreamless Sleep and sent him upstairs. Once he had gone to his bedroom, Hermione and Severus looked at each other with awkward tenderness of old friends who have been apart for a long time, and who would have liked nothing better than to simply pick up where they had left off, but did not know how to go about it.



“Harry seems fine,” Hermione said finally.



Severus raised an eyebrow.



“Well, as fine as one can be after sharing his brain with Jack the Ripper for five years,” Hermione amended with a mirthless smile. “But ... his reactions and responses are normal. He\'s not a psychopath, or...”



“Good,” Severus said gruffly.



“You saved Hugo, you know,” she told him quietly. “By the time I got to Jordan\'s place, Hugo had managed to pick a fight with Lee. I suppose Hugo and the Dust were not... interacting well at that point. Lee was really not himself. When I got there, it looked like Lee was about to strike him.” She glanced down with regret.. “I am sorry,” she offered suddenly. “Sorry that it took me too long to get Hugo out – by the time I was done, and was on my way to hide him, I heard the newscasts... I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you got stuck doing all of this alone again.”



He nodded curtly, and wanted to say something reassuring, but nothing came to mind this time. She however, did not appear hurt by his silence, but simply threw her arms around him, standing on her toes, and kissed his cheek. He hugged her back cautiously and hesitantly, as if in the last forty-eight hours he had forgotten how to do that.



“Give my regards to Hugo,” he said, smiling slightly.



She departed quickly, and he was left alone with Harry in Godric\'s Hollow, until Neville returned.



“Looks like life is about to start getting back to normal, whatever it means,” Neville said tiredly. “Ginny is coming back... I should go tell him.”



“You do that,” Severus said absently, and went upstairs.



He looked over the room that used to be his, and shook his head with disdain. He did not even have anything of his left to pack – just a few changes of clothing, and the old nail, lying on the floor. He picked it up, and looked at it thoughtfully. The only remaining sentimental possession of his, the only thing to come out of Godric\'s Hollow with him: he placed it in his pocket, and scowled slightly, at no-one in particular.



He heard voices from across the hallway. Neville and Harry were discussing Ginny\'s return. For the first time, there was genuine excitement and hope in Harry\'s voice, and Severus instantly felt a pang of some other emotion... what the hell was it? Jealousy? No, it couldn\'t be. He was not that far gone, was he?



He left quietly, without saying goodbye.



It was a strange, and slightly unnerving feeling to step outside of the house on his own, without agony or terror to accompany the action. He took a deep breath, and headed down the street, walking unhurriedly. He had barely walked for five minutes, when he heard the sound of furious footsteps running after him. He did not slow down, but that did not matter; Harry caught up with him without any difficulty.



“Wait,” Harry whispered, panting. “Sir, please. Don\'t go just yet.”



Severus turned around and looked at him with amusement.



“Now seems as good a time as any, Mr. Potter. Your wife will be returning shortly...”



Harry winced. “Is this why you left?” He asked quietly, his fingers clutching around Severus\' sleeve.



Severus rolled his eyes. “Mr. Potter, I don\'t know about you, but I personally had a very stressful week. I really would like to go home now, provided, of course, I have your gracious permission to do so,” Severus said sardonically, freeing his sleeve from Harry\'s fingers.



Harry smiled painfully, and allowed his fingers to be cast off.



“I am sorry,” Harry said sincerely. “I just thought...” He stopped in mid-sentence, looking torn, and at a loss for words to express the hopes and emotions that were running through him.



Severus scowled at him with disdain, beginning to feel absolutely and utterly enraged.



“You thought WHAT!” Severus shouted at him, surprised by his own fury, that seemed to have come out of nowhere. “You arrogant! Stupid! Self-absorbed! Brat! You thought that I, the Head of Slytherin, the Master of the Elder Wand, the top duelist in Great Britain, the most trusted agent of the greatest wizard since Merlin, would become – WHAT? A household PET to you and your mediocre family?” Severus released Harry\'s throat disdainfully, clenched his fists and shoved him away with brutal force. “What DID you think? Did you think I\'d be tame enough for your son to play with? Did you hope I could help your wife with housework? Or did you think I\'d be crawling at your feet, begging for your attention, while you were living your happily-ever-after family life? What exactly DID you think?”



Speechless again, Harry stared at him painfully, and just shook his head mutely.



“What did you think?” Severus growled, beginning to calm down, if only slightly. “Are you worried that I will be so overwhelmed by unrequited feelings that I will be banging on your door, disrupting your family life?”



For a while, Harry continued standing in absolute silence, unable to bring himself to speak. But Severus was glaring to him, and finally, Harry found his voice again:



“No,” Harry said quietly. “If anything, it should be the other way around. I owe you. I owe you everything.”



Severus glared at him coldly. “You think you owe me?” he said sternly. “You want to pay me back?”



Harry was nodding furiously, with hope in his eyes.



“Then would you please do one thing for me, Mr. Potter: leave me the hell alone.”



Without waiting for a response, Severus turned around and Apparated away, as in his mind, nothing was left to be said.



...To be Continued....