Never Piss Off a House-Elf

The wedding went on as Tonks had described, with much French and little audience participation. Which was just as well, because Hermione found that she was growing more and more uncomfortable as the ceremony dragged on. She was trying to keep her gaze from Severus's, because she was uncomfortable in a very. . . uncomfortable way. Her breasts felt heavier and heavier, and she could feel heat gathering between her thighs. She darted a look around, and she was having a hard time trying to see if anyone else was being distracted in such a way. Finally, she dragged her gaze to Bill, Fleur and the rest of the bridal party.


Bill's face was flushed, and Fleur's eyes burned like blue fire. They shared the rosewine cup, and it was as if everyone was watching the couple make love. Bill drank first, sipping the wine slowly, languidly even. Fleur took the cup from him, her hands caressing Bill's as she lifted the cup. She sipped as well, as if she were kissing Bill, drinking not from his cup but his mouth.


Hermione blushed furiously, looking down at her lap, where Severus's hand was holding hers, caressing her knuckles softly. She followed his arm and knew her mistake.


His desire for her was evident, clear as day and tenting his trousers to the point that Hermione's eyes were bulging. Her eyes darted up, but the other couples were likewise engrossed, which only eased Hermione's discomfort minutely. She found her gaze drawn back to that oh, so interesting bulge. Her breath came hard, and she looked up to see Severus's eyes burning back into her own. She shivered, and a strange noise drew her attention back to the ceremony.


Bill and Fleur had left, dismissed by the old woman, who was leading the rest of the bridal party back down the aisle and away from the guests. The guests were oddly silent as they all filed out. Severus had a hard time getting out of his seat, and Hermione fought the urge to sit on his lap and take him where he sat. Instead, she tugged on his arm to keep him from filing back to the house for the reception. She peered around Severus a few minutes later, making sure they were alone. She smiled lasciviously at her fiancé.


"Come with me, Severus. I think we can help one another," she said, licking her lips and pulling him up out of his chair. She turned, and he caught her face in his hands.


Severus caught her mouth in a searing kiss that set Hermione on fire, from her lips down to her toes, which curled in response to the pull of Severus and Hermione's heat. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, taking what he needed. He sucked her tongue into his mouth, nipping it hard. Hermione gasped, trying to pull back from the kiss. Severus's arms came around Hermione, holding her so tight she could feel the crystal necklaces attached to her dress digging into her back.


"I think we need that help."


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Once she'd managed to extricate herself from Severus's grip, Hermione led him towards the edge of the yard, to the forest, and privacy. She shucked her shoes and cast a protective charm on her feet, carrying her shoes in one hand while the other tugged Severus along.


"Hermione, where are we going?" Severus hissed. "I'm beginning to think I'm not going to make it quite so far."


"Don't worry, we're almost there. I found this place a few summers ago, and I never got a chance to tell anyone about it," Hermione explained. Soon, they were at the edge of a clearing not far from the pond the Weasleys swam in. "Here."


Hermione took a moment and charmed her shawl into a thick set of blankets, which she spread out on the grass. She dropped her shoes on the edge of the blanket and stepped up to Severus on her tiptoes. She was still a bit short, so she reached up and tried to pull his head down to hers. He resisted, and Hermione glared at him.


"A little help, Severus?" Hermione said, impatient. He smirked, and Hermione had a split second to worry before he moved.


Severus heaved Hermione up so her bottom was cupped in his hands, pressing her chest against his, their eyes even, sharing the very same air. Hermione sighed and leaned into Severus, shivering as he explored the column of her throat, sucking and licking up and down it, biting hard where her neck and shoulder met.


"Aah," Hermione shrieked, thrusting up and against Severus, making him groan. She ground against him, kissing his mouth hard, nipping his lips and tongue until he set her back down on her feet.


"On the blanket. Now," Severus ground out. Hermione sank down on the blanket, looking up at Severus from under her eyelashes. "Sooner or later, someone will come looking for us. But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves."


Hermione reached up and grasped Severus's bulge, rubbing her thumb over its cloth-covered tip, feeling the moisture. She brought her other hand up, making short work of his trousers. Locking her eyes on his, Hermione brought her mouth to his erection.


"Gods, when you look at me like that, doing that," Severus hissed, wrapping his hands around her face, setting a rhythm. "Fuck, aahhh. . ."


After a few minutes, he gently pushed Hermione back a bit so he could get rid of his shirt and robes. Once they were set aside, he turned his sights once again to Hermione, whose face was flushed. He smirked, advancing slowly but surely on her. His penis was free, engorged and slightly bouncing. Hermione was completely absorbed in the sight, her breath fast and hard; she tried to avert her eyes, but Severus caught his face in one hand.


"Entranced are we? Didn't I tell you I could teach you to ensnare the senses?" Severus teased gently. Hermione's face burned. "I have no time to tease you, witch. Off with that dress, Hermione. I need to feel you."


Of their own accord, Hermione's hands moved and undressed her, slipping the dress away from her body quickly. She laid the dress over Severus's clothing and leaned back, opening her arm so she could embrace him. He let himself fall into her arms, inhaling her scent as he positioned himself at her entrance.


"You're so wet, I didn't even have to touch you," he breathed in her ear, easing inside her. "Tight. . . "


"Mmm," Hermione answered, shifting her hips just a bit so she could rise up and meet him. Soon, he was thrusting fast and hard into her, and she was meeting him thrust for thrust, clawing her way up his back. They were sweaty and slippery as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky.


After a time, Severus felt the tell-tale tightening, the coil winding. Hermione's eyes were closed, but she was breathing his name, one hand caught in his hair, which had fallen out of the tie she'd put it in, while the other continued to follow the trail of his spine. He kissed her again, letting his mouth follow its path from earlier, till it rested where he'd bitten before. He set his teeth in the marks he'd left, and as he thrust into her one last time, he bit down, harder than before, till he tasted pennies.


"Mine."


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Hermione and Severus had to rush back into their clothing. Hermione used charms to set her dress and hair while Severus just stepped back into his clothes. She was blushing because not long after their little forest tryst, her passion had retreated to its usual, controllable state. Severus didn't seem to feel that affect, and Hermione was too embarrassed to mention it.


"At least we could find all our clothing this time," Hermione tried to joke. Severus smiled at her briefly before grabbing her and shoving her behind him.


"Wand out. We're not alone; I shouldn't have let myself get so wrapped up in you," Severus hissed, his own ebony wand out and searching for a target. "Reveal yourself!"


Hermione finally heard whatever Severus had heard; she swallowed the embarrassment and fear she'd felt and raised her wand next to Severus's.


"Voca tu! Come out, I call you!" Hermione chanted, and there was a crash in the woods, a bit farther than Hermione and Severus had come. Voices cried out, and it took Hermione a moment before she realized what the noises were. She giggled and tugged on Severus's sleeve. He wrapped an arm around her waist, t draw him to her, but she still laughed. "Severus, I think this was the last thing Tonks was trying to tell me about the Veela wedding rites."


Severus groaned. "Of course. A race so attuned to its own fertility and sensuality. Hermione, have you ever wondered why I hate to go out to this type of thi~--"


"Hush! Listen," Hermione said, shushing her fiancé. "I wonder who it ~--- oh, my Merlin! Raina?"


The noises stopped immediately, and only the resounding SMACK of a hand hitting skin. Crashing resumed, coming closer, and Hermione shrank back against Severus, just in case she'd been wrong.


Luckily, for Hermione and Severus at least, Hermione had been right ~-- Raina came crashing through the brush. Hermione didn't have a moment to wonder why her friend was there before Halain came stumbling after.


"Halain?" Severus hissed. "What the hell do you think you're doing to Raina!"


Severus grabbed his friend by the throat before Halain could raise an arm. He backed his best friend up against the nearest tree, not allowing him to breathe or defend himself.


"Were you taking advantage of her, Halain? I swear, I'll kill you if you've hurt her," Severus growled. Hermione tried to pry Severus away from Halain, while Raina watched in horror, shaking her head. Severus started to shake his friend, cursing him. Raina backed away, hand at her mouth.


"I've never seen Sev like this," Raina breathed, tears coming to her eyes. "Like Michael. . ."


Hermione whirled on her friend. "Raina, Severus loves you like his own sister. If there is any chance that Halain did nothing wrong, or that you have any thread of feeling for him ~-- or Severus ~-- you'll help me stop him!"


Raina swallowed, trying to gather her courage. "He didn't do anything wrong. I knew it was a Veela ceremony when he asked me; I shouldn't have come. These things always happen. Hermione it isn't Halain's fault."


"Then tell Severus, Raina! I can't hold on to him like this for long, and once I let go, Halain will suffocate. You want to kill him?"


Raina was finally ripped out of her trance-like state. She marched over to Severus and gave him a resounding smack up-alongside his head. Severus's hand dropped from Halain's throat, letting Halain down onto his own feet. Hermione put an arm around each man, supporting them as best she could. Raina scowled blackly at all of them.


"What the bloody hell just happened to you, Severus?" Raina asked, but she feared she knew. "I assume you think you two heard everything? Severus, Halain didn't hurt me. The smack I believe you heard was me swatting him, not Halain beating me."


"Why are you here, Raina? You don't go to weddings," Severus rasped, leaning heavily on Hermione. All the strength had left him when Raina had hit him.


"And neither do you, Severus, but you decided to go with Hermione, because she didn't have a date. I went with Halain for the exact same reason," Raina said, kneeling down so she could look Severus in the eye. "And you're not my keeper or brother, Severus, much as we would like that to be."


"I came with Hermione because she is my fiancée, and I did not want her to go alone, or with someone else," Severus said, closing his eyes. "Besides, my actions with Hermione are no new development."


"We thought you hated one another," Hermione added, looking from Raina to Halain and back. "What changed? Or did you come to this wedding to torment one another?"


"It wasn't like that, Hermione," Halain said, rubbing his throat, his voice rough and low. "When you left Raina's, I decided to stay and talk with Raina, try to make it so we didn't try to kill one another each time we encountered each other. I thought the wedding would be a good trial run to see if we could stand our combined company. I think it worked a bit too well."


"Oh, like you weren't counting on the effects of the Veela rites," Raina snorted, getting back to her feet.


"I wasn't! You're the one who knew what they would be like! I was just coming to support Bill, for Merlin's sake. You could have said 'no'," Halain fumed, rising and moving towards Raina. "Or perhaps that's what you wanted. Some big event, mishap, that you could blame on me. Then maybe you could get Severus to drop me, too, and I would be adrift, not muggle enough for London, and not wizard enough for Diagon Alley. You can't keep blaming me for Michael's death, Raina, or your miscarriage, or anything of the other myriad things you like to put on my shoulders."


Raina's face crumbled. She started to cry, and Severus lurched to his feet to hold her, but Hermione stopped him with a hand on his arm, shaking her head. She nodded to Halain, who walked toward Raina carefully, his arms out to his sides, as if to tell her he meant no harm.


"Yeah, but why did you live, and not my Michael? He was fixing himself up, working hard. You were there that night, Halain. If you had stayed home or at headquarters, maybe Michael would still be with me," Raina cried, letting Halain fold her into his arms. Hermione nodded, and both she and Severus walked over to the other, stranger couple.


"We'll see you at the reception," Hermione said, leading Severus away. "If you just go home, call me and let me know, so I don't worry, alright?"


Halain nodded and waved them off, still holding Raina. Hermione and Severus were quick in getting back to the house for the reception.


"It will be quite funny to see who's given in and who's still fighting the urge," Severus said, and Hermione laughed.


"Severus, you've made yet another joke. I believe I'm going to have to tell people you've rediscovered the lost art of joking, as well," Hermione said, smiling. Severus rolled his eyes and continued walking. "I know, I know. You aren't like that to others, and you don't want them to see you any differently. I'll keep my mouth shut."


The house and festivities loomed. It was time for the party.


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Thanks to Roz, the appetizers weren't the only things flowing freely. Waiters from her tavern had volunteered (according to Roz, but Sirius had told Molly early on that it was part of their wedding gift to Bill and Fleur) to serve drinks and food, and on the unusually warm evening, the drinks were going fast, and the food wasn't going nearly fast enough.


"I hope the wedding party arrives soon," Hermione said, fanning herself as she reached for another drink. "Severus, how does the Ministry keep under-aged witches and wizards from drinking so?"


Severus, who was still working on his first snifter of icebrandy, looked carefully at the trays and glasses the drinks were served on before responding. "Charmed trays and glasses, of course. There are a range of charms that can be used, but it looks like Roz went for the Sticking Charm. If an under-aged wizard or witch tries to take a glass, it sticks to the tray. There are other charms, of course, such as the Unseen Charm, which makes glasses filled with alcoholic beverages invisible to under-aged witches and wizards. Those two are the most popular charms, as they can be put o the tray. Charming the glasses themselves can be done, but it takes more time ~-- and money to pay the caster."


Hermione nodded slowly, polishing off her latest Dirty Wizard and plucking the umbrella from her next one, fervently glad that she didn't have to reply on her friends' judgment to keep them from drinking. In her estimation, none of her under-aged friends were mature enough to know when to stop.


Severus had directed his attention elsewhere, seeing that Raina and Halain had finally made their way back and into the party. He spoke to them, but Hermione found her thoughts going somewhere else. Mechanically, she watched as Bill and Fleur finally made their way in and up to the bridal table, glowing. Hermione wanted nothing more than to smack Fleur in that instant. A ferocious jealousy boiled up in Hermione's throat, and she swallowed it.


Most of it.


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The meal was finally finished, and Hermione felt very good, if a little floaty. Roz's waiters were good at clearing dishes and glasses as they were emptied, so unless one was actually paying attention, it was hard to tell how much one had drunk. And Dirty Wizards were nothing like butterbeer.


It had finally gotten to the point where the food was gone, the cake was waiting, and the speeches were about to begin. Arthur Weasley said a few words, Albus gave his congratulations, and Charlie spoke. Ginny had been planning to speak, but when she got up to speak, she didn't say what everyone thought she'd planned.


"I would like to say that I have something wonderful prepared, but I don't. And I'm not one who can just get up and give a little speech. But there is someone here who does, and I think that as a member of our extended family, by blood, marriage, or friendship, Hermione Granger should speak," Ginny smiled, and Hermione recognized that it was the final step towards healing the breech. Hermione smiled and tossed back the last of her drink, giving Severus a saucy wink as she augmented her voice and stepped up to speak.


"Thank you, Ginny. And thank you, Bill, Fleur, for inviting not only me but my own fiancée, as well. I don't know Bill or Fleur as well as some of you, truthfully, but I know the Weasleys. So I think I'll say something about them, and how luck Fleur is to have them as her extended family.


"It has long been tradition, for muggles, at least, that at the marriage, the wife leaves her family and becomes daughter to her husband's family. Fleur, you are quite lucky, for no family is better than the Weasleys. Hell, at least you are becoming part of a family, unlike some of us."


Nervous titters ran through the crowd, and Severus felt his stomach start to heave.


"But this is a day to speak of good, not ill, luck, not misfortune. Bill will always take good care of you, listening to you and defending you till his last breath. He is a hero, and the bravery you showed not so long ago is matched in his own. You are lucky, starting this as you wanted to, marrying who you want to, and making a good life together. You know Bill so well ~--I've seen the two of you together. You will be a fine wife because you've taken the time, made that effort, to know him and match your lives."


Bill smiled at Fleur, who blushed. Hermione nodded at them. Raina and Halain looked from Hermione to Severus, who gave them a very weak smile. He was afraid that she'd say something she'd regret.


"And Bill. You, I would have been proud to call brother-in-law. You and your brothers are good men, kind and true, open and easy to talk to. You are brave, and strong, honest to a fault. You will be a good husband, and we all know that Fleur will never lack for anything with you at her side.


"Blessed be, the two of you, for you have found what I never will."


Severus sagged in his chair as he saw Hermione leave the reception. Raina got up and followed her, waving at everyone to continue with the festivities. Fleur and Bill shared a look, but stayed in their seats. Halain clasped Severus's shoulder, speaking in low tones.


"Severus, let Raina speak to Hermione first. I don't think Hermione meant to say that, and I don't think she even feels that way. Wait a bit, and when Raina comes back, then you can talk to Hermione," Halain said.


Severus didn't have a choice, because the dancing had started and he couldn't get out. He didn't dance, but he patiently waited until there was a break in the music. He looked at Halain, who nodded towards Raina, who was slowly picking her way back towards them.


"Severus, she's alright, and I think she feels bad for what she said up there, for taking the spotlight from Bill and Fleur and for making you feel so awful. But tread carefully; she's angry, too. I think there's more to this than meets the eye," Raina said, kissing Severus's cheek. "But you should go while everyone's dancing. I don't think either one of you wants an audience."


Severus got up heavily and made his way swiftly through the dancing throng. He felt as if the cheery music was taunting him. He'd thought marriage bad enough, but when he found out that it was Hermione, it wasn't quite so bad. She was supposed to be reasonable; she was intelligent, and beautiful. But even though she'd come to have some slight affection for him, or so he thought; Hermione's little speech was convincing him otherwise. But this marriage would be awful if they couldn't even speak to one another; his mind started to wander, wondering if he'd have to dose himself with antidotes on a regular basis.


He finally made his way to the kitchen, where he knew Hermione would be waiting. Molly Weasley's kitchen was a favorite refuge for Hermione and her friends. Severus took a breath before he pushed the door open. Hermione was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in her hands and her face red.


"Knut for your thoughts?" Severus asked, pulling a chair up next to Hermione, sitting so he could face her, turning her chair so she couldn't look away from him.


"They aren't even worth a sickle right now," Hermione mused, gulping down the steaming coffee. "Ack, that's hot. I should have put ice in it."


"Why not just cast a cooling charm on it," Severus suggested, his voice soft. He put his hand on Hermione's on the table. She let him, but she shook her head.


"I shouldn't have to use magic to do something so simple," Hermione said, looking at her mug. "Magic should be for difficult things, things I couldn't manage on my own. Without magic, and without someone else. Bill and Fleur are the lucky ones, though. In love, with jobs and they actually like each other."


Severus sighed heavily. "Hermione, you and I have a stroke of luck, too. We are intelligent, compatible on more than a few levels. Marriages have survived on less than that."


"But they thrive on more. Bill is strong and brave, a hero ~-- the same as you, but you deny it at every turn!"


"Hermione, I told you before not to see me like that," Severus hissed, not noting the slightly glazed look in Hermione's eyes. "You can't expect from me what any of the Weasleys give their women ~-- I'm not like them. And to do what you've done, say what you've said. . . how can I even try?"


"You'll try because I'm bloody brilliant, you arse, because I know everything a good wife is supposed to know. I can cook ~-- contrary to popular belief ~--, I know how to keep house, to do laundry, to sew. All those things we have house-elves for, but I need to know how to be a wife, not just what makes a good one!" Hermione fumed. Severus finally picked up on the rank scent of alcohol rolling off Hermione.


"Hermione, you'll be a fine wife. I know you will, but this is neither the time nor the place to have this discussion. Not when you're this drunk," Severus said, trying to put his arm around Hermione. She shoved his arm away from her, hissing at him.


"You don't touch me! I know you're laughing at me, every time you smile like its some great joke that I'm not in on. You're laughing because you've fooled me, and now I'm actually looking forward to marrying you. Well, the joke's up Severus, and now I hate you even more than when this started!" Hermione screamed, racing out of the kitchen, her dress flying behind her as Severus sank heavily into a chair. His head sank into his hands, and when Albus found him later, neither man mentioned the tear tracks on the younger man's face.