Harry Potter and The Bound Prince (BP1)
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
37
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50,981
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155
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
37
Views:
50,981
Reviews:
155
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Falling Apart
Chapter Number/Total: 31/37
Chapter Title: Falling Apart
Words: 4179 Words
May 25
"Harry?"
Harry was looking through yet another book from Sirius' house. His eyes hurt from staring at it.
"Harry?"
He wasn't paying attention to anything else, and he'd been that way for at least the past few days.
"Harry?"
He finally looked up to see Hermione staring at him, eyes filled with worry. "What?" he snapped irritably.
"Harry, I'm worried about you," she said for what must have been the millionth time.
"I don't care," Harry said, having to stifle a yawn. He went back to reading.
"Mate?" Ron cut in. "When's the last time you've eaten?"
Harry glared at him for a single second. "This morning."
Hermione huffed. "You hardly ate anything at all this morning! You took those books with you to breakfast!"
Harry snapped the book shut, suddenly becoming angry. "Do you not get it?" he stage whispered furiously. "He'll die if I don't find something."
"You're killing yourself trying to save him!" Hermione said shrilly. "I want to find something to help him too, but you can't just forget about everything else! Something could happen at any time, and if you're ... ill or something, then what on earth are you going to do then?"
McGonagall stepped through the portrait hole, and frowning, scanned the room. She saw the trio and made her way over to them.
Harry scowled heavily at Hermione. "I don't care about that!" he lied. In truth, he'd been thinking about Voldemort non-stop since it had appeared in the Prophet that he and Draco were a couple. He could feel something coming and it made him want to get the serpent off of Draco's arm even more.
"Harry, you can't just stop caring! You're going mad!"
"Well, good for me!" Harry said loudly now.
"McGonagall," Ron interjected suddenly.
Harry turned his head to see the professor walking towards them.
McGonagall frowned and nodded to them. "Harry," she said, "you should come with me."
Harry scowled, very much unwilling to leave his books. "What for?" he said rather rudely.
"Mr Potter," she said sharply. "There has been an ... incident." She glanced at the other two and then lowered her voice. "Mr Malfoy is in the hospital wing."
Harry took a sharp breath and jumped to his feet quickly. He didn't even wait for McGonagall to say anything else, nor did he spare Ron and Hermione a glance. He began walking quickly for the portrait hole, intending to go straight to the infirmary.
McGonagall hurried to catch up with him, joining him on the other side of the portrait hole. She didn't say anything but strode beside him through the halls.
Harry was shaking and began walking even faster, wanting desperately to break into a run. "What's happened?" he asked, voice higher than usual.
"He says he fell down the stairs," she answered flatly.
Harry's eyes narrowed to slits. Draco Malfoy would never fall down stairs. He finally reached the hospital wing doors and flung them open, rushing inside.
Draco was lying in one of the normal beds in the main hospital. His face was a mess. Covered in cuts and bruises, one arm was in a sling and one leg suspended by some type of spell so that it hung a few inches off the bed.
Harry gasped at the sight of Draco and ran over to his bed. "Merlin, what's happened?" he asked, not sure what to do with his hands. He didn't look like he should be touched.
Draco opened his eyes, or tried to. His right eye was swollen closed, so he looked out at Harry from one bloodshot grey eye. "Hi," he rasped. "I'm sorry."
Harry looked at him incredulously. "Sorry for what?" he asked, hands still moving over top of Draco awkwardly.
"Fell," he said, closing his eye and sighing.
"You did not fall, Draco," Harry said angrily. "What happened to you?" he asked.
Draco kept his eye closed, his hand that was not in the sling, fluttering a bit and opening palm up, reaching for Harry.
Harry grabbed Draco's hand gently and kissed it. He sighed. He had a feeling he knew what had really happened to Draco. "Are you not going to tell me?" he asked.
"You know already," Draco said quietly.
Harry closed his eyes for a moment to keep from roaring with rage. "What did they do?" he growled through his teeth.
Draco opened an eye, looking at Harry. "Nothing you can do anything about. And, for the record, stairs were involved."
Harry wanted to run from the hospital wing at that moment and kill Crabbe and Goyle. He somehow managed to stay put. "Why?" he spat, pulling up a chair in order to get right up close to Draco's face.
"Because I need you here," Draco said quietly.
"You need me here? Draco, I'll be here, just let me go and -- Merlin -- I don't even know what I want to do to them!" Harry was so angry, steam could've come flying out his ears and he wouldn't have been surprised.
"See," Draco said, starting to smile, but then wincing when he realised his jaw hurt too much. "You have more important things to worry about."
Harry sighed, Draco's statement calming him somewhat. "What the hell did they do to you?" he asked, pained expression in place.
"Since I passed out before it was done, I am not sure." Draco sighed, squeezing Harry's hand with his.
Harry winced and kissed Draco's hand again. "Who found you?"
"Filch. At the foot of the main stairs," he said.
Harry winced again. "Bloody hell," he hissed, and then he turned burning eyes on Draco's face. "This won't happen again," he assured him.
***
Harry spent the next couple of days poring over more books. It was practically all he did anymore besides eat little, sleep little, and have sex with Draco. Perhaps Hermione was right, maybe he was going mad, but he couldn't put the books down. He was consumed with the need to find a way to remove that serpent. He'd also taken to watching his map all the time again. He was keeping an eye on Crabbe and Goyle. For the most part, they stayed in the dungeons, but sometimes he couldn't find them anywhere and that made him very nervous. The only place Harry could think they were going was the Room of Requirement. He still didn't know exactly what Draco had been up to in there before he'd been with Harry, and so Harry wasn't really sure what Crabbe and Goyle were doing. He hadn't told Draco about it yet.
It was now Draco's third day in the hospital wing. He was almost fully healed and would probably be ready to go back to their room in Gryffindor very soon, if not that night. It was already after classes, and Harry was sitting at the edge of Draco's bed, still looking at books. His eyes had dark circles under them, and he was getting even thinner than he was already. He hadn't stopped eating, like Draco had before, he was just afraid of wasting time.
Draco looked up from the book in his lap. His attention had been wandering, and he could no longer concentrate. Instead, he sat watching Harry. He loved watching Harry, but wasn't comfortable with what he was seeing these days. He frowned.
Harry blinked his eyes a few times and shook his head to get the sleepiness out of him. He didn't notice Draco was watching him. That in itself was troubling, because Harry had even started ignoring him to read and take notes.
"I miss you," Draco said quietly.
Harry heard Draco say something, but he didn't really discern the words. "What?" he asked absently, looking up for a quick second before jotting something down.
Draco sat staring at Harry. He shook his head, sighing.
Harry didn't notice. He looked quickly over at his map, which was lying open next to him on the bed, and picked it up to scan it real quick, looking for those two loathsome names.
"Show me the map, Harry," Draco said, reaching out his hand.
Harry frowned at Draco. "For what?" he asked, holding it out of Draco's reach. He didn't know why he hadn't told Draco about Crabbe and Goyle. He didn't want to upset him, he supposed.
"Because I asked to see it." Draco sighed. "You told me about it before, remember? I thought you trusted me."
Harry raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. He handed the map over. It wasn't like Draco would notice that Crabbe and Goyle were missing out of the hundreds of dots on the paper.
Draco studied the map. "So it shows everyone at Hogwarts and where they are," he said. "Does it show who is in the Room of Requirement?"
Harry eyes widened just a bit. "Erm, why would you ask that?" he said, and he cursed himself and his inability to get anything past Draco.
"Because you said you could tell that I had been going in there," he said, watching Harry carefully. "What are you hiding from me?"
Harry looked at Draco and smiled. "Nothing," he said dismissively, shrugging.
Draco crossed his arms across his chest and his face hardened. "Get out," he said quietly.
Harry was very taken aback by that. "What? Why?" he spluttered.
"Get out, Potter," Draco said coldly.
Harry's heart dropped and his stomach swooped in a decidedly very unpleasant way. His breath quickened. "Why?" he chanced again quietly
Draco closed his eyes. "Because you aren't really here anyway. I don't want this."
Harry's breath sped up even more. "What?" he asked weakly. "Don't want what?" His voice cracked a bit.
"You ignore me and you lie to me," Draco snapped, "and you have the nerve to ask me what is wrong?"
Harry winced and closed his eyes. He bowed his head and covered his face with his hands. He could feel frustrated tears building up, but he didn't let them fall. He sat there for a full minute. "I'm sorry," he said tiredly through his fingers.
Draco watched him. He wanted to take Harry in his arms and help him forget for a while. But he didn't dare. They needed to talk. "You can't keep doing this. This is exactly what I didn't want."
"Well, what do you want me to do?" Harry snapped, but then he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his forehead furiously before clenching a hand in his own hair. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"I want you back," Draco said. "I want you to spend what time I have left actually paying attention to me. I want you to eat and sleep."
Harry sighed heavily. "But what if -- what if there is something -- and -- and I miss it or -- or -- or don't find it in enough time?" He sighed again. "It's just -- hard," he let out simply.
"What has that got to do with lying to me?" Draco asked.
Harry covered his face with his hands again. "I didn't want to upset you. I don't even know why I lied."
"What could possibly be worse than spending what time I have left watching you ignore me, lie to me and fall apart?" Draco snarled.
Harry sighed and lay down on his back, arms up over his head. He stared up at the ceiling. "I don't know," he said quietly after a while.
Draco reached over and picked up the books and papers spread on the bed. He set them aside on one of the bedside tables. He set the strange map with them. He looked down at Harry lying there. "Look at me," he said.
Harry slowly turned his bloodshot eyes on Draco.
Draco looked into those normally bright green eyes and was almost broken by the pain he saw there. "I love you," he said quietly. "I don't need the hero right now. I need you."
Harry looked up at Draco with sad eyes. How was he supposed to turn the hero off? He didn't know. He stared at Draco for a long time. He loved him, Merlin, he loved him so much, but how could he ignore that he was going to die if something didn't happen? Hope was starting to slip away with every turn of a page and every passing day. If Harry could pause time for forever right here, right now, and just look at Draco's beautiful face for the rest of his life, he would, but he couldn't. Who was he kidding? The searching was getting them nowhere, he was wasting away and he knew it, but it took Draco voicing it for him to finally see it truly. Maybe Draco was right. Maybe they should just be together. His eyes threatened to fill with tears at that thought, but he once again held them back. Draco was wrong; he did need a hero, just a different kind. Harry held his arms open for the boy above him.
Draco watched the struggle on Harry's face. The boy was such an open book, and he could see the moment he understood what Draco had been saying. Finally, Harry turned back to him and Draco gratefully fell into his arms.
Harry sighed at the feeling of Draco's familiar weight on top of him. "I'm sorry," he whispered into his hair.
Draco clutched at Harry's shirt for a moment, feeling the other boy's arms around him. Then he lifted his head and looked at him. There was so much he wanted to tell Harry, but he was afraid of upsetting him again. So he kissed him. That always seemed to be the thing that Harry understood.
Harry kissed him back, very, very gently. Little kisses that barely touched Draco's lips. He pulled Draco against him for another hug. "I won't leave again," he said quietly, but firmly.
***
June 1
It had been another long day of classes and too many books about Dark Magic. Draco's eyes burned, and he couldn’t quite keep the horrid images from his mind when he closed his eyes. They had spent the evening arguing over strategy with the other two Gryffindors. Harry had become quite irritable and the other two had eventually excused themselves. Draco closed the book with a snap and sighed.
Harry rubbed at his eyes, still breathing a bit heavily from his argument with Ron and Hermione. He knew he shouldn't push away the only other people who were helping Draco and himself, but he couldn't help it. He looked up at Draco as he sighed.
Draco shook his head but then began packing up his books and putting them aside. He turned his face away from Harry and began undressing for bed. They hadn't even had sex yet today, and he was not in the mood. Harry had promised it would get better. Sometimes Draco thought that it would be better to have it over with already.
Harry watched Draco get undressed, but he wasn't really watching. His mind was elsewhere as it almost always was. He was trying to make things okay between Draco and himself, but it wasn't an easy thing to do, especially when all he could think about when he looked at the blond was what things might be like without him there. He turned and looked at the clock, sighing. "Draco...?" he said quietly, knowing what they had to do.
Draco finished laying his clothes aside and turned back to the bed, climbing in under the covers. "What?" he asked.
Harry stared at him. "You know what," he said tiredly.
Draco lay back down and closed his eyes. He was not in the mood to deal with this right now.
Harry rubbed his forehead. "Draco, don't start this please," he said, frustrated. "You know we have to or you'll get sick." Honestly, Harry wasn't in the mood either, but hadn't really been in a while.
Draco's eyes remained closed. "I don't see that it much matters at this point," he said quietly.
That stabbed at Harry's heart like a knife. His eyes itched with something other than tiredness. "Please, Draco," he said from behind the hand on his face.
"I have become a burden and a distraction for you," Draco said, eyes opening to regard him. "You aren't focusing your energy on defeating Him anymore. You barely sleep or eat. And the only reason you want to ... touch me right now is because you have to, not because you want me."
"That's not true," Harry lied, looking up at Draco. "I love you."
Draco didn't even dignify the blatant lie with a verbal answer. He rolled over, his back to Harry, and pulled the covers up.
Harry groaned quietly and stood up to get undressed. He moved slowly and tiredly and then climbed into bed. He moved up close to Draco and began kissing across his shoulders. He willed himself to get an erection; it had been the only way to get one for the past few days.
Draco gritted his teeth, refusing to respond to Harry's touch. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.
Harry kissed him for a few seconds, but soon stopped when Draco did nothing but lie there. He rested his forehead against Draco's skin and sighed, his eyes closed. "I don't know what you want me to do," he said in a pained voice.
"I told you already," Draco said quietly. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back tears that threatened to fall.
Harry rolled onto his back and stared at the canopy. "I've been paying attention to you," he said flatly, afraid putting any emotion into his voice would make him cry.
Draco clenched his jaw and sat up, getting out of the bed and starting to re-dress himself. "I can't do this anymore," he said, his hands shaking as he tried to button his shirt.
Harry watched him for a second before sitting up. "Please don't do this, Draco," he said quietly, his eyes closed.
Draco's hands were shaking so hard he couldn't do the buttons. He reached for his trousers and pulled them on, managing those fasteners at least. He slipped his feet into his shoes without even bothering with socks.
Harry threw the covers off and got up from the bed. He came up behind Draco and grabbed his arm. "Please," he said with just an edge of desperation.
Draco pulled his arm away from Harry roughly. He reached for his robes.
Harry snatched Draco's robes before he could get them. "No," he said, moving in front of Draco to block his way. "No, please don't leave."
Draco hung his head for a moment, hands clenched by his side. "Let me go, Harry," he said.
Harry's breathing was erratic now. "No," he said, not moving.
"Why?" Draco said, not meeting his eyes but staring toward the door.
Harry was at a loss for words for a moment, but then, "I love you," he said finally. "I don't want you to leave."
Draco stood still staring at the door. "I know," he said quietly. "But if loving me is going to destroy you, then I need to leave sooner than later."
"You think that's what you've done?" Harry asked angrily, his eyes beginning to shine. "You think you've destroyed me -- or -- or -- are going to destroy me? News flash, Draco. I'm Harry Potter. If you don't destroy me, then Voldemort will." He closed his eyes. "It's just going to be the same when I have to kill him. Nothing comes easy for me."
A thrill ran down Draco's spine, and he took a sharp breath, his head coming up. He looked back at Harry's face, seeing the spark in those green eyes and his own went wide.
Harry opened his eyes again at Draco's gasp, still staring at him angrily. "What?" he asked, still blocking the doorway.
Draco's eyes narrowed again. He was thinking fast, trying to figure out the right button to push. "Yeah, Potter, you think you will find the answers in a book? It just isn’t happening, and if you keep thinking it is, I won't be the last person you love to die." He hoped that would fan the flame he saw there.
Harry's eyes narrowed. "What the fuck do you expect me to do?" he said loudly now. "You're just like everyone else. You think I just know the answers? You think I can just snap my fingers and everything will be okay? I may be the 'Chosen One' or whatever the hell that bullshit is, but I'm just as clueless as everyone else is!"
Draco's face flushed and his breathing sped up. He looked with darkened grey eyes at Harry. He shrugged his shoulders, allowing the shirt to drop off his shoulders. Then he began unfastening his trousers.
Harry looked at Draco, still angry. "What the hell are you doing?" he spat.
Draco slipped out of his shoes and dropped his trousers, his cock standing hard already.
Harry was very confused. His eyes travelled down Draco's body and landed on his erect cock. "Draco ...?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.
Draco smirked, noticing that Harry's cock was hard now too. He turned around and placed his hands on the bed, spread his legs, and looked back over his shoulder.
Harry's breath caught in his throat. His mouth fell open slightly and his heart sped up. He swallowed. "Oh, Merlin," he let out, voice high.
"I'm yours," Draco said in a low sexy voice as he rotated his hips a little.
Harry moaned quietly, and practically ran to get the lube from the bedside table, forgetting his magical ability to Summon it. Draco seemed to have that affect on him. He stumbled twice on his way back.
Draco chuckled, watching Harry's eagerness. That was what he needed. He needed Harry to want him.
Harry slicked his cock, and his fingers quicker than he had ever done and simply dropped the jar when he was finished, not bothering to put the lid back on. His eyes slid closed as he plunged two fingers into Draco's arse. Merlin, it felt like it had been ages since he'd last felt this way.
Draco groaned as Harry's fingers sunk into him. He pushed back against him and trembled with the need he felt in himself. He wanted Harry like this; he loved his fire. "You want me, you claim me," he hissed.
Harry moaned again. "I want you," he said moving his hand furiously and then replacing it with his hard, dripping cock.
"Yes, yours," Draco gasped, locking his legs and arms to brace himself. "Fuck me, Harry!"
Harry slammed his hips forward into that tight heat, gripping Draco's sides with bruising force. "Fuck, yes," he groaned. This made him feel alive somehow; this anger, this lust.
"Yes, yes," Draco growled, pushing back against Harry's thrusts. "Show me, make me yours!"
Harry thrust even harder. He gritted his teeth, his heavy breaths hissing though them.
Draco's arms collapsed, and he was now face down with his arms spread out on the bed. His legs trembled, and he felt like he could feel Harry so deep he could taste him. The other boy's magic was crackling over and through him like lightning, painful but powerful.
Harry closed his eyes and fucked Draco for all he was worth. It was as if he were making up for the slump he'd been in. His orgasm took him by surprise a few minutes later. He felt as if Draco ripped it from him. He came and he kept coming for what felt like forever. "You're fucking mine," he said angrily with one last hard thrust.
"Yes, yours!' Draco shouted as lightning struck his spine, making him arch against Harry. Fire ran through him, the green fire that was Harry's anger, lust and raw magical power.
Harry's knees buckled, and it took everything he had not to collapse. "Fuck, Draco," he said weakly, eyes still closed. He didn't want to pull out, he felt like being connected to Draco was his lifeline.
"Cover me, hold me, stay in me," Draco begged, allowing his upper body to rest on the bed.
Harry let out a shaky breath and draped himself over Draco's back. "I love you," he said just as weakly as before. He laid a kiss on Draco's shoulder, doing his best to stay in their awkward position. "Don't ever think I don't or that I'd want anything different, no matter how crazy you make me."
Draco would have laughed, but with Harry's weight on him, it came out as a wheeze. He squeezed his arse, clenching around Harry's softening cock.
Harry twitched, Draco's movement sort of uncomfortable, but he didn't care. He still didn't make any move to pull out.
"I love you," Draco said softly, his body finally relaxing under Harry.
Harry smiled. "I know," he whispered back, bringing his arms around to wrap about Draco's middle.
Chapter Title: Falling Apart
Words: 4179 Words
May 25
"Harry?"
Harry was looking through yet another book from Sirius' house. His eyes hurt from staring at it.
"Harry?"
He wasn't paying attention to anything else, and he'd been that way for at least the past few days.
"Harry?"
He finally looked up to see Hermione staring at him, eyes filled with worry. "What?" he snapped irritably.
"Harry, I'm worried about you," she said for what must have been the millionth time.
"I don't care," Harry said, having to stifle a yawn. He went back to reading.
"Mate?" Ron cut in. "When's the last time you've eaten?"
Harry glared at him for a single second. "This morning."
Hermione huffed. "You hardly ate anything at all this morning! You took those books with you to breakfast!"
Harry snapped the book shut, suddenly becoming angry. "Do you not get it?" he stage whispered furiously. "He'll die if I don't find something."
"You're killing yourself trying to save him!" Hermione said shrilly. "I want to find something to help him too, but you can't just forget about everything else! Something could happen at any time, and if you're ... ill or something, then what on earth are you going to do then?"
McGonagall stepped through the portrait hole, and frowning, scanned the room. She saw the trio and made her way over to them.
Harry scowled heavily at Hermione. "I don't care about that!" he lied. In truth, he'd been thinking about Voldemort non-stop since it had appeared in the Prophet that he and Draco were a couple. He could feel something coming and it made him want to get the serpent off of Draco's arm even more.
"Harry, you can't just stop caring! You're going mad!"
"Well, good for me!" Harry said loudly now.
"McGonagall," Ron interjected suddenly.
Harry turned his head to see the professor walking towards them.
McGonagall frowned and nodded to them. "Harry," she said, "you should come with me."
Harry scowled, very much unwilling to leave his books. "What for?" he said rather rudely.
"Mr Potter," she said sharply. "There has been an ... incident." She glanced at the other two and then lowered her voice. "Mr Malfoy is in the hospital wing."
Harry took a sharp breath and jumped to his feet quickly. He didn't even wait for McGonagall to say anything else, nor did he spare Ron and Hermione a glance. He began walking quickly for the portrait hole, intending to go straight to the infirmary.
McGonagall hurried to catch up with him, joining him on the other side of the portrait hole. She didn't say anything but strode beside him through the halls.
Harry was shaking and began walking even faster, wanting desperately to break into a run. "What's happened?" he asked, voice higher than usual.
"He says he fell down the stairs," she answered flatly.
Harry's eyes narrowed to slits. Draco Malfoy would never fall down stairs. He finally reached the hospital wing doors and flung them open, rushing inside.
Draco was lying in one of the normal beds in the main hospital. His face was a mess. Covered in cuts and bruises, one arm was in a sling and one leg suspended by some type of spell so that it hung a few inches off the bed.
Harry gasped at the sight of Draco and ran over to his bed. "Merlin, what's happened?" he asked, not sure what to do with his hands. He didn't look like he should be touched.
Draco opened his eyes, or tried to. His right eye was swollen closed, so he looked out at Harry from one bloodshot grey eye. "Hi," he rasped. "I'm sorry."
Harry looked at him incredulously. "Sorry for what?" he asked, hands still moving over top of Draco awkwardly.
"Fell," he said, closing his eye and sighing.
"You did not fall, Draco," Harry said angrily. "What happened to you?" he asked.
Draco kept his eye closed, his hand that was not in the sling, fluttering a bit and opening palm up, reaching for Harry.
Harry grabbed Draco's hand gently and kissed it. He sighed. He had a feeling he knew what had really happened to Draco. "Are you not going to tell me?" he asked.
"You know already," Draco said quietly.
Harry closed his eyes for a moment to keep from roaring with rage. "What did they do?" he growled through his teeth.
Draco opened an eye, looking at Harry. "Nothing you can do anything about. And, for the record, stairs were involved."
Harry wanted to run from the hospital wing at that moment and kill Crabbe and Goyle. He somehow managed to stay put. "Why?" he spat, pulling up a chair in order to get right up close to Draco's face.
"Because I need you here," Draco said quietly.
"You need me here? Draco, I'll be here, just let me go and -- Merlin -- I don't even know what I want to do to them!" Harry was so angry, steam could've come flying out his ears and he wouldn't have been surprised.
"See," Draco said, starting to smile, but then wincing when he realised his jaw hurt too much. "You have more important things to worry about."
Harry sighed, Draco's statement calming him somewhat. "What the hell did they do to you?" he asked, pained expression in place.
"Since I passed out before it was done, I am not sure." Draco sighed, squeezing Harry's hand with his.
Harry winced and kissed Draco's hand again. "Who found you?"
"Filch. At the foot of the main stairs," he said.
Harry winced again. "Bloody hell," he hissed, and then he turned burning eyes on Draco's face. "This won't happen again," he assured him.
***
Harry spent the next couple of days poring over more books. It was practically all he did anymore besides eat little, sleep little, and have sex with Draco. Perhaps Hermione was right, maybe he was going mad, but he couldn't put the books down. He was consumed with the need to find a way to remove that serpent. He'd also taken to watching his map all the time again. He was keeping an eye on Crabbe and Goyle. For the most part, they stayed in the dungeons, but sometimes he couldn't find them anywhere and that made him very nervous. The only place Harry could think they were going was the Room of Requirement. He still didn't know exactly what Draco had been up to in there before he'd been with Harry, and so Harry wasn't really sure what Crabbe and Goyle were doing. He hadn't told Draco about it yet.
It was now Draco's third day in the hospital wing. He was almost fully healed and would probably be ready to go back to their room in Gryffindor very soon, if not that night. It was already after classes, and Harry was sitting at the edge of Draco's bed, still looking at books. His eyes had dark circles under them, and he was getting even thinner than he was already. He hadn't stopped eating, like Draco had before, he was just afraid of wasting time.
Draco looked up from the book in his lap. His attention had been wandering, and he could no longer concentrate. Instead, he sat watching Harry. He loved watching Harry, but wasn't comfortable with what he was seeing these days. He frowned.
Harry blinked his eyes a few times and shook his head to get the sleepiness out of him. He didn't notice Draco was watching him. That in itself was troubling, because Harry had even started ignoring him to read and take notes.
"I miss you," Draco said quietly.
Harry heard Draco say something, but he didn't really discern the words. "What?" he asked absently, looking up for a quick second before jotting something down.
Draco sat staring at Harry. He shook his head, sighing.
Harry didn't notice. He looked quickly over at his map, which was lying open next to him on the bed, and picked it up to scan it real quick, looking for those two loathsome names.
"Show me the map, Harry," Draco said, reaching out his hand.
Harry frowned at Draco. "For what?" he asked, holding it out of Draco's reach. He didn't know why he hadn't told Draco about Crabbe and Goyle. He didn't want to upset him, he supposed.
"Because I asked to see it." Draco sighed. "You told me about it before, remember? I thought you trusted me."
Harry raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. He handed the map over. It wasn't like Draco would notice that Crabbe and Goyle were missing out of the hundreds of dots on the paper.
Draco studied the map. "So it shows everyone at Hogwarts and where they are," he said. "Does it show who is in the Room of Requirement?"
Harry eyes widened just a bit. "Erm, why would you ask that?" he said, and he cursed himself and his inability to get anything past Draco.
"Because you said you could tell that I had been going in there," he said, watching Harry carefully. "What are you hiding from me?"
Harry looked at Draco and smiled. "Nothing," he said dismissively, shrugging.
Draco crossed his arms across his chest and his face hardened. "Get out," he said quietly.
Harry was very taken aback by that. "What? Why?" he spluttered.
"Get out, Potter," Draco said coldly.
Harry's heart dropped and his stomach swooped in a decidedly very unpleasant way. His breath quickened. "Why?" he chanced again quietly
Draco closed his eyes. "Because you aren't really here anyway. I don't want this."
Harry's breath sped up even more. "What?" he asked weakly. "Don't want what?" His voice cracked a bit.
"You ignore me and you lie to me," Draco snapped, "and you have the nerve to ask me what is wrong?"
Harry winced and closed his eyes. He bowed his head and covered his face with his hands. He could feel frustrated tears building up, but he didn't let them fall. He sat there for a full minute. "I'm sorry," he said tiredly through his fingers.
Draco watched him. He wanted to take Harry in his arms and help him forget for a while. But he didn't dare. They needed to talk. "You can't keep doing this. This is exactly what I didn't want."
"Well, what do you want me to do?" Harry snapped, but then he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his forehead furiously before clenching a hand in his own hair. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"I want you back," Draco said. "I want you to spend what time I have left actually paying attention to me. I want you to eat and sleep."
Harry sighed heavily. "But what if -- what if there is something -- and -- and I miss it or -- or -- or don't find it in enough time?" He sighed again. "It's just -- hard," he let out simply.
"What has that got to do with lying to me?" Draco asked.
Harry covered his face with his hands again. "I didn't want to upset you. I don't even know why I lied."
"What could possibly be worse than spending what time I have left watching you ignore me, lie to me and fall apart?" Draco snarled.
Harry sighed and lay down on his back, arms up over his head. He stared up at the ceiling. "I don't know," he said quietly after a while.
Draco reached over and picked up the books and papers spread on the bed. He set them aside on one of the bedside tables. He set the strange map with them. He looked down at Harry lying there. "Look at me," he said.
Harry slowly turned his bloodshot eyes on Draco.
Draco looked into those normally bright green eyes and was almost broken by the pain he saw there. "I love you," he said quietly. "I don't need the hero right now. I need you."
Harry looked up at Draco with sad eyes. How was he supposed to turn the hero off? He didn't know. He stared at Draco for a long time. He loved him, Merlin, he loved him so much, but how could he ignore that he was going to die if something didn't happen? Hope was starting to slip away with every turn of a page and every passing day. If Harry could pause time for forever right here, right now, and just look at Draco's beautiful face for the rest of his life, he would, but he couldn't. Who was he kidding? The searching was getting them nowhere, he was wasting away and he knew it, but it took Draco voicing it for him to finally see it truly. Maybe Draco was right. Maybe they should just be together. His eyes threatened to fill with tears at that thought, but he once again held them back. Draco was wrong; he did need a hero, just a different kind. Harry held his arms open for the boy above him.
Draco watched the struggle on Harry's face. The boy was such an open book, and he could see the moment he understood what Draco had been saying. Finally, Harry turned back to him and Draco gratefully fell into his arms.
Harry sighed at the feeling of Draco's familiar weight on top of him. "I'm sorry," he whispered into his hair.
Draco clutched at Harry's shirt for a moment, feeling the other boy's arms around him. Then he lifted his head and looked at him. There was so much he wanted to tell Harry, but he was afraid of upsetting him again. So he kissed him. That always seemed to be the thing that Harry understood.
Harry kissed him back, very, very gently. Little kisses that barely touched Draco's lips. He pulled Draco against him for another hug. "I won't leave again," he said quietly, but firmly.
***
June 1
It had been another long day of classes and too many books about Dark Magic. Draco's eyes burned, and he couldn’t quite keep the horrid images from his mind when he closed his eyes. They had spent the evening arguing over strategy with the other two Gryffindors. Harry had become quite irritable and the other two had eventually excused themselves. Draco closed the book with a snap and sighed.
Harry rubbed at his eyes, still breathing a bit heavily from his argument with Ron and Hermione. He knew he shouldn't push away the only other people who were helping Draco and himself, but he couldn't help it. He looked up at Draco as he sighed.
Draco shook his head but then began packing up his books and putting them aside. He turned his face away from Harry and began undressing for bed. They hadn't even had sex yet today, and he was not in the mood. Harry had promised it would get better. Sometimes Draco thought that it would be better to have it over with already.
Harry watched Draco get undressed, but he wasn't really watching. His mind was elsewhere as it almost always was. He was trying to make things okay between Draco and himself, but it wasn't an easy thing to do, especially when all he could think about when he looked at the blond was what things might be like without him there. He turned and looked at the clock, sighing. "Draco...?" he said quietly, knowing what they had to do.
Draco finished laying his clothes aside and turned back to the bed, climbing in under the covers. "What?" he asked.
Harry stared at him. "You know what," he said tiredly.
Draco lay back down and closed his eyes. He was not in the mood to deal with this right now.
Harry rubbed his forehead. "Draco, don't start this please," he said, frustrated. "You know we have to or you'll get sick." Honestly, Harry wasn't in the mood either, but hadn't really been in a while.
Draco's eyes remained closed. "I don't see that it much matters at this point," he said quietly.
That stabbed at Harry's heart like a knife. His eyes itched with something other than tiredness. "Please, Draco," he said from behind the hand on his face.
"I have become a burden and a distraction for you," Draco said, eyes opening to regard him. "You aren't focusing your energy on defeating Him anymore. You barely sleep or eat. And the only reason you want to ... touch me right now is because you have to, not because you want me."
"That's not true," Harry lied, looking up at Draco. "I love you."
Draco didn't even dignify the blatant lie with a verbal answer. He rolled over, his back to Harry, and pulled the covers up.
Harry groaned quietly and stood up to get undressed. He moved slowly and tiredly and then climbed into bed. He moved up close to Draco and began kissing across his shoulders. He willed himself to get an erection; it had been the only way to get one for the past few days.
Draco gritted his teeth, refusing to respond to Harry's touch. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.
Harry kissed him for a few seconds, but soon stopped when Draco did nothing but lie there. He rested his forehead against Draco's skin and sighed, his eyes closed. "I don't know what you want me to do," he said in a pained voice.
"I told you already," Draco said quietly. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back tears that threatened to fall.
Harry rolled onto his back and stared at the canopy. "I've been paying attention to you," he said flatly, afraid putting any emotion into his voice would make him cry.
Draco clenched his jaw and sat up, getting out of the bed and starting to re-dress himself. "I can't do this anymore," he said, his hands shaking as he tried to button his shirt.
Harry watched him for a second before sitting up. "Please don't do this, Draco," he said quietly, his eyes closed.
Draco's hands were shaking so hard he couldn't do the buttons. He reached for his trousers and pulled them on, managing those fasteners at least. He slipped his feet into his shoes without even bothering with socks.
Harry threw the covers off and got up from the bed. He came up behind Draco and grabbed his arm. "Please," he said with just an edge of desperation.
Draco pulled his arm away from Harry roughly. He reached for his robes.
Harry snatched Draco's robes before he could get them. "No," he said, moving in front of Draco to block his way. "No, please don't leave."
Draco hung his head for a moment, hands clenched by his side. "Let me go, Harry," he said.
Harry's breathing was erratic now. "No," he said, not moving.
"Why?" Draco said, not meeting his eyes but staring toward the door.
Harry was at a loss for words for a moment, but then, "I love you," he said finally. "I don't want you to leave."
Draco stood still staring at the door. "I know," he said quietly. "But if loving me is going to destroy you, then I need to leave sooner than later."
"You think that's what you've done?" Harry asked angrily, his eyes beginning to shine. "You think you've destroyed me -- or -- or -- are going to destroy me? News flash, Draco. I'm Harry Potter. If you don't destroy me, then Voldemort will." He closed his eyes. "It's just going to be the same when I have to kill him. Nothing comes easy for me."
A thrill ran down Draco's spine, and he took a sharp breath, his head coming up. He looked back at Harry's face, seeing the spark in those green eyes and his own went wide.
Harry opened his eyes again at Draco's gasp, still staring at him angrily. "What?" he asked, still blocking the doorway.
Draco's eyes narrowed again. He was thinking fast, trying to figure out the right button to push. "Yeah, Potter, you think you will find the answers in a book? It just isn’t happening, and if you keep thinking it is, I won't be the last person you love to die." He hoped that would fan the flame he saw there.
Harry's eyes narrowed. "What the fuck do you expect me to do?" he said loudly now. "You're just like everyone else. You think I just know the answers? You think I can just snap my fingers and everything will be okay? I may be the 'Chosen One' or whatever the hell that bullshit is, but I'm just as clueless as everyone else is!"
Draco's face flushed and his breathing sped up. He looked with darkened grey eyes at Harry. He shrugged his shoulders, allowing the shirt to drop off his shoulders. Then he began unfastening his trousers.
Harry looked at Draco, still angry. "What the hell are you doing?" he spat.
Draco slipped out of his shoes and dropped his trousers, his cock standing hard already.
Harry was very confused. His eyes travelled down Draco's body and landed on his erect cock. "Draco ...?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.
Draco smirked, noticing that Harry's cock was hard now too. He turned around and placed his hands on the bed, spread his legs, and looked back over his shoulder.
Harry's breath caught in his throat. His mouth fell open slightly and his heart sped up. He swallowed. "Oh, Merlin," he let out, voice high.
"I'm yours," Draco said in a low sexy voice as he rotated his hips a little.
Harry moaned quietly, and practically ran to get the lube from the bedside table, forgetting his magical ability to Summon it. Draco seemed to have that affect on him. He stumbled twice on his way back.
Draco chuckled, watching Harry's eagerness. That was what he needed. He needed Harry to want him.
Harry slicked his cock, and his fingers quicker than he had ever done and simply dropped the jar when he was finished, not bothering to put the lid back on. His eyes slid closed as he plunged two fingers into Draco's arse. Merlin, it felt like it had been ages since he'd last felt this way.
Draco groaned as Harry's fingers sunk into him. He pushed back against him and trembled with the need he felt in himself. He wanted Harry like this; he loved his fire. "You want me, you claim me," he hissed.
Harry moaned again. "I want you," he said moving his hand furiously and then replacing it with his hard, dripping cock.
"Yes, yours," Draco gasped, locking his legs and arms to brace himself. "Fuck me, Harry!"
Harry slammed his hips forward into that tight heat, gripping Draco's sides with bruising force. "Fuck, yes," he groaned. This made him feel alive somehow; this anger, this lust.
"Yes, yes," Draco growled, pushing back against Harry's thrusts. "Show me, make me yours!"
Harry thrust even harder. He gritted his teeth, his heavy breaths hissing though them.
Draco's arms collapsed, and he was now face down with his arms spread out on the bed. His legs trembled, and he felt like he could feel Harry so deep he could taste him. The other boy's magic was crackling over and through him like lightning, painful but powerful.
Harry closed his eyes and fucked Draco for all he was worth. It was as if he were making up for the slump he'd been in. His orgasm took him by surprise a few minutes later. He felt as if Draco ripped it from him. He came and he kept coming for what felt like forever. "You're fucking mine," he said angrily with one last hard thrust.
"Yes, yours!' Draco shouted as lightning struck his spine, making him arch against Harry. Fire ran through him, the green fire that was Harry's anger, lust and raw magical power.
Harry's knees buckled, and it took everything he had not to collapse. "Fuck, Draco," he said weakly, eyes still closed. He didn't want to pull out, he felt like being connected to Draco was his lifeline.
"Cover me, hold me, stay in me," Draco begged, allowing his upper body to rest on the bed.
Harry let out a shaky breath and draped himself over Draco's back. "I love you," he said just as weakly as before. He laid a kiss on Draco's shoulder, doing his best to stay in their awkward position. "Don't ever think I don't or that I'd want anything different, no matter how crazy you make me."
Draco would have laughed, but with Harry's weight on him, it came out as a wheeze. He squeezed his arse, clenching around Harry's softening cock.
Harry twitched, Draco's movement sort of uncomfortable, but he didn't care. He still didn't make any move to pull out.
"I love you," Draco said softly, his body finally relaxing under Harry.
Harry smiled. "I know," he whispered back, bringing his arms around to wrap about Draco's middle.