One wish alone have I

Chapter 21 (part 3)
A new beginning

Our conversations deepened with time, and Severus’ awareness of life increased with each passing week. He told me in secret that he had always avoided really feeling the calmness of nature, because it forced him to turn back to his inner feelings too much and he feared those feelings might engulf him one day. Little by little, the time we spent walking peacefully in the Carpathians became longer and longer and curiously, instead of feeling engulfed, Severus rather felt stimulated and entranced by all those new things he felt, which fit him very well and occasionally brought a very nice flush to his cheeks and a delightful sincerity to his voice. We walked alone or were accompanied by Valerica, Cami or Ivantie, when they had some free time. When we were just the two of us, we often came back only when the first rays of light started to pierce through the horizon, tired of the walk, but happy all the same.

Happy… we were happy, at last, now that we had found our way back to each other and learned to know each other even better, just as much as we learned more about ourselves. Severus made me grow as well with his silence, his warmth, his occasional impatience, his fervour in some of the discussions we had together or with our friends; and his very clever reflections forced me to meditate over many subjects, reconsider and nuance many things that I mistakenly held for certainties. More importantly, I learned even better what I had begun to understand a year before, while he was imprisoned in the dungeons. Severus did not need to speak much to be there; his mere presence often spoke far more to whom knew how to listen well.

Severus was a quick learner and the control he could have on his mind, once we turned it to his advantage, helped him a great deal. Not only did he become better at worrying less about things that were out of his control, he also learned how to go beyond the simple suppression of thoughts and open his mind to what was going on around him. With it came a myriad of new discoveries; his magical powers helped him feel the vibrations of power through the very ground he was walking on, a thing that is usually felt only by particularly old or clever wizards and witches… or by most cainites, who have the advantage of longevity to learn how to appreciate it. From watchful and paranoid, his acuity became more alert with curiosity, wonder… and even amusement, from time to time. He learned how to bring a certain level of peacefulness to his soul and understood how beauty and calmness can be found and created even in chaos… therefore, that Voldemort can be forgotten even if it is war….

I knew that he had changed, but truly began to see it one night towards the end of August, as we attended a concert given by some of the Clan’s best musicians for the Summer feast that was coming. The soloist played Brahm’s violin concerto in D; its second movement is particularly touching and my heart shivers each time I hear it. That night when the soloist began playing after the orchestra’s introduction, Severus clutched my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine with such force that it snatched my eyes away from the stage and turned them to him. His glance seemed to wander somewhere above the orchestra; he was lost in thoughts that were themselves surrounded by an eerie mist. Though he seemed far away from me at that moment, his touch was firm and very intense, almost painfully so. I had attended a few concerts with him and knew he let himself be touched by music, but that time was different. His soul vibrated with the music he heard; it listened with a new sensitivity I did not know of him… and even made the corner of his eye glisten in the candlelight.

The following evening, he Apparated us to the top of the Moldoveanu Mountain, where we enjoyed the vibrant purity of the air and the soft glow of the waning moon on the eternal snow. We talked about all the things we had to prepare for the Summer feast, and then we remained silent for a while.

“Antanasia,” he gravely began, taking my hand in his, “you realize that the end of August is approaching. September will be here before we know it.”

“I know… we should start thinking about the beginning of the school year, too,” I replied with a smile.

“Well, about that… I wanted to let you know that I would understand if you want to remain in Zaharia.”

“And be separated from you? That is not an option for me!” I firmly exclaimed.

“I never said that I would leave you here alone…” he replied, plunging his dark eyes into mine. “What would you say if we stayed here?”

“What do you mean, stay here?”

“If we lived in Zaharia… do you think your Clan has room for a Potions Master in addition of to its Potions Mistress?”

I mused on the thought for a while. Not only was Severus’ offer genuine, it was also very tempting. It meant not having to say goodbye to Transylvania again… not having to live away from my friends once more. I imagined Severus and I working together on common projects in my vast lab, free from other obligations, away from the war…. The war. Not only was it raging here, it had not stopped in the Wizarding world, either. It was still going on, even if Voldemort’s Death Eaters had not made any flamboyant raid anywhere since the Azkaban attack. It was not something we could ignore. The Order still needed its double agent… and its emissary.

“It might be something we could do, Severus…. And believe me, it is a possibility that evokes many sweet thoughts in my mind, but I think we should postpone that project a little bit. For now, you belong to your country, your world, and to Hogwarts. “

“I would not blame you if you chose to stay here…” he said, “among your kind.”

“I will not,” I determinedly replied. “My place is at your side, Severus. I do not see me anywhere else in the world than there. Besides, I am used to living among humans, I really do not mind. And think about my roots!” I added, with a mischievous smile. “Centuries before I was born, women fought at their men’s side on all kinds of battlefields; I will not act differently. So if you still want this from me, I will accompany you back to Hogwarts and happily take the place and responsibilities I had there.”

He simply nodded, giving me a hint that he understood what I had said, but no sound parted his lips. His warm breath sent small clouds of mist that brushed against my lips as he took my face between his hands and brought it to his. He caressed my cheeks with his thumbs for a moment, and he opened his mouth. I thought I would receive a kiss; I received something even sweeter.

“I love you,” he murmured.

My hands slid up his chest and met behind his neck; his hands did the same behind my waist and our foreheads leaned against each other. It was the first time that those awaited words escaped from his lips to curl up into my ear. I had restrained them in my heart in fear that they would push him away, and I was glad that they came from him first. I drew my head back and cupped his right cheek with my hand.

“I love you, too,” I tenderly replied, with a luminous smile.

“What do you say we Apparate somewhere less… covered with snow?” he asked.

“Take the lead, I will follow,” I said, cuddling against him in a close embrace.

Minutes later, we were falling on his bed, struggling to get rid of our useless clothes. That night, his lips had a sweet taste that I will never forget, and I let him take me with a complete abandon, his spontaneous confession of love resounding in my ears and making the Perseid meteor showers above our heads sparkle feebly in comparison to my eyes and soul.

~*~

Two nights later, the evening of the 25th of August came knocking at the castle’s door, and so did hundreds of guests. Ivantie had organised his first Summer feast reception as a Sire, and he wanted it to be grandiose despite the war… and maybe especially because of the war.

“We have been working hard for months!” he had exclaimed, in front of Vasile’s surprised expression when he saw the guest list. “The Clan desperately needs a more festive mood, if only for one night. It will do us good to talk about something else than war tactics, espionage reports and negotiation meetings for a change.”

The castle was in effervescence, like each and every year at the same date. Severus, Tomasz and I worked for many nights in a row, preparing our best Blood potions to impress the guests and show them that Ivantie was capable of receiving his Clan members with distinction and finesse. We were still working at keeping all the compounds at the right temperature, right after sunset, when Valerica came knocking at my lab’s door. She gestured me to come to her, and I noticed a warm smile adorning her lips. The matching sparkle in her eyes told me that she was excited about something. When I asked if she was expecting some old or new lover to be at the reception, she simply giggled and took my hands in hers.

“You will have to excuse us, gentlemen,” she declared, “but Antanasia has to prepare for the feast. Severus, tradition asks you to wait for her in the ballroom; I am sure you two will know how to feel your way to each other in the crowd. Until then, I claim her to be mine, body and soul!”

“She is all yours,” he replied, the corners of his lips curling up slightly. “I shall be waiting for her with the other guests, then.”

“I will see you there,” I said, smiling largely at him. “I cannot even tell you what I will wear; Valerica seems to know better than me!”

“Indeed! Come!” she giggled, pulling on my hands and walking out.

She led me to her resting room, where she had prepared everything to receive me. To my surprise, I found that she had filled a large bathtub with delightfully warm water, wild flowers and a mix of Transylvanian and Polish herbs that made the whole room wonderfully fragrant. I was about to ask her if the bath had been prepared for me when she magically made my hair twist into a loose chignon.

“I have prepared this for you, my love,” she explained, putting a caring hand on my shoulder. “You can take your bath alone if you feel too uncomfortable to let me stay, but if it is not the case, I would be pleased to bathe you.”

“What is the occasion?” I asked her, in bewilderment.

“The Summer feast is the occasion, of course,” she calmly replied. “Surely you did not forget the tradition?”

“Of course not, but I have rarely heard you mention those traditions before! And I hate to disappoint you, Valerica, but I am not a virgin anymore, you know…” I replied, remembering that the bathing ritual, usually performed by an older woman on a young virgin, preceded the virgin’s offering herself to a young man.

“I had figured that,” she chuckled, “but you will not find many virgins among cainites anyway. Traditions have evolved with time. I thought you might appreciate it, as tonight’s feast is very special.”

“How so?”

“When was the last time you attended the feast on the arm of a man you loved?”

“Erm…”

“That is what I thought. Do you see my point better, now?”

“Yes… what a sweet notion, Valerica… really…”

“My pleasure,” she assured with a smile. “Do you want me to leave the room or not?”

“I guess I could do with the traditions this year, as it is special indeed… if you feel like it, too, I do not see why I should not abandon myself to your care.”

“Then just leave everything to me,” she said, unbuttoning my robes and sliding them past my shoulders. “During the next two hours or so, I want you to relax completely and to sharpen, to open your senses to all the forces around you. The guest that are coming, their energy… their excitement, their happiness… the Goddess Mother, ever present inside you, outside you… Severus waiting for you, looking forward to seeing you and offering you his arm to guide you in the crowd…”

She undressed me completely and helped me step into the warm and fragrant bath. As soon as I was in, she vanished the flame of almost all the candles in the room, leaving only a dim and intimate glow to surround us. Her presence was comforting and I abandoned myself to her caring hands and voice, which guided me to a complete state of relaxation that was ideal to induce an introspective meditation. Time seemed to stop; she had enlarged the bathtub and charmed the water so I would be able to float effortlessly while still being immersed and warm. The feeling was unreal, but wonderful.

Valerica first washed me from head to toe, with a slowness that was almost religious. She then massaged each muscle of my body with a mother’s tenderness. Once I was completely clean and relaxed, she proceeded to a ritual purification, a cainite rite that is as old as our species, probably. She broke the charm that made me float and I sank to the bottom of the bathtub. Breathing was not a necessity for me, so I calmly settled down and waited for Valerica to speak.

She started pronouncing the proper blessings and incantations, and her soft voice reached me effortlessly, even if my head was completely submerged. She mostly spoke in very ancient Polish, her native language, and though I did not understand everything she said, I knew those songs and words very well. She was invoking the protection, sensuality and strength of the Mother Goddess so she would protect and guide me all night long.

When she cast the spells again, I felt my body become lighter and rise to the surface. She was looking for something next to the bathtub and I took some time to observe her profile. Her golden curls, tied in a loose chignon from which untamed curls managed to escape and frame her soft face beautifully, were coloured of such delicate nuances of blond that they reminded me of the subtle reflections of the sun on the immense fields of ripe wheat. She realised I was observing her and she turned to me; her plump lips drew back in a radiant smile. For the second time, I saw a peculiar light dancing in her beautiful and soft green eyes. A strange idea flashed in my mind.

“It is the Great Dragon, is it not? You know something that I do not!” I said, returning her smile.

“You have guessed right,” she replied, spreading a thick mixture on my face. “Tonight, you will learn many of the things the Dragon showed me… and I will say no more about that.”

“All right, then,” I joyfully declared.

I knew her well enough; it was useless to insist. I let her finish my mask and while it stayed on, she magically manicured my nails. A few moments of relaxation later, my face was rinsed thoroughly and Valerica let me step out of the bathtub. She dried me completely and combed my hair very carefully; the feeling was so delicious that, had I been Transfigured into a cat, I would have purred loudly. We walked to her resting room and she made me stand next to her. She took a needle and pierced one of her fingers so a tiny drop of blood fell into a small vial of scented oil, which she gently shook. The oil first turned to a bright red, and then became transparent again. She moistened the tip of her finger with the oil and traced the symbol of the Goddess on my forehead, neck, breasts, belly, hands and feet, murmuring a few additional incantations to bless me. Her eyes were shining with tenderness and excited anticipation when she looked back at me.

“I first picked many outfits in your closet, but finally set my eyes on this one,” she said, retrieving a dress on a chair. “I kept the colour intact, but I adapted the cut to today’s trends of fashion.”

I let out a small gasp when she showed me my dress. It had been an ordinary dress that I had bought in France shortly after my wedding with Arnaud. She had given it a new life: it was now long enough to cover my legs down to my ankles, and the back ended in a small train behind my heels. The fabric was still a mix of very thin velvet and transparent veils; it was completely white. The velvet constituted most of the dress; it was tied behind my neck with two long veils that fell in a single line to the small of my back over my bare back. The dress had a very deep neckline and a siren cut; it underlined the curves of my waist and hips very nicely, narrowed at the level of my knees to flare out over the rest of my legs with large triangles that alternated velvet and veils and allowed the trained eye to see the curves of my calves. I immediately liked the way it gracefully fluttered when I walked. Valerica helped me put it on.

“Are you not forgetting something, Valerica?” I asked, while she tied the veils behind my neck.

“What would that be?”

“Well… I am not wearing anything under that dress…”

“I know…” she mischievously cooed. “And I do not intend to let you wear anything. For your own comfort, however, I will perform a very… supportive little spell.”

She put her hands close to my breasts and murmured a few words. I immediately felt my breasts pushed up and supported, as if an invisible bra had appeared under the dress. I giggled softly and thanked Valerica for the nice neckline it gave me. She let me sit down at last and took care of my hair. She picked delicate white rose buds and charmed them to hold my hair in an elaborate chignon that was made of many loops of curls behind my head. She handed me the diamond and pearl earrings that Severus had given me; they were the only jewellery I wore, which left the lines created by the dress pure and untouched. Finally, she adorned my lips and eyes with a light but flattering makeup, made me walk several times through a small mist of perfume and let me admire the result of her efforts in her psyche. I was transported.

“Valerica, you have outdone yourself tonight!” I exclaimed, taking her in my arms and holding her tight against my heart. “I cannot wait until I see Severus! Do you think he will like it?”

“I know he will… how could he not?” she replied with a knowing smile.

“Do you want me to help you get prepared for the reception?” I asked.

“I will not really need help, but I would appreciate your company if you are able to wait for me.”

“Of course, Valerica!” I chuckled.

Half an hour later, Valerica and I slowly walked down the castle’s main staircase. Most of the guests had arrived, judging from the loud chattering sounds that reached us from the ballroom. Several heads turned when we passed, and I noticed that their eyes were not only turned towards me. The dreamy smile that played on Valerica’s lips told me that she was not at all indifferent to what she, too, saw.

Ivantie was the first to meet us; he was standing close to the ballroom’s doors and welcomed the guests himself, a gesture we had not seen since Horatiu’s nights. He smiled broadly when we reached his level and he gallantly kissed both our hands. He was wearing a splendid outfit of a deep blue that gave his chestnut hair and eyes a particularly warm shine.

“I guess you want to find Severus,” he declared with a wink. “He has arrived; I believe he is near the--”

“I know,” I joyfully interrupted, “he has already felt me, and so did I. I will see you in a minute.”

“Of course,” he replied, squeezing my hand tenderly before turning to another guest.

I found Severus at the back of the room, next to the numerous tables that had been dressed in the enlarged dining room. He was probably acknowledging his surroundings in preparation for the Blood potion transfer he would have to help me make when it was time to serve the meal. I steadily made my way towards him, sliding effortlessly between the guests and feeling his presence grow pleasantly clearer with each step.

When I saw him, he was standing next to a table and was already turned towards me. The light that lit up in his eyes and mind told me at once that Valerica’s efforts had not been made in vain. He, too, had obviously put some care in his appearance. He was still wearing a black frock coat and trousers, but they were of a different cut. I deduced that he had borrowed one of the outfits that Ivantie had bought during the early 19th century. He wore a white shirt underneath, over which I saw a burgundy embroidered satin vest and an elaborate matching satin tie tied in a loose knot that fell over his upper chest to disappear under the vest. Not only did he perfectly blend in with the other guests, he also looked breathtakingly attractive. Had I lacked good manners, I would have pushed him against a wall and begged him to ravish me with kisses and caresses.

“You look simply luminous, Antanasia,” he said, before he bent into a bow and kissed my inner wrist in a slow and sensual way that made me shiver. “Especially with those earrings…”

“One of my lovers’ birthday gifts,” I commented in a detached tone, in answer to his slightly superior smile.

“He must have really cared for you, then,” he replied, leaning towards me and letting his lips brush lightly against my ear.

“Is everything ready for the meal?” asked Tomasz, putting an abrupt end to our intimate conversation.

“Yes,” said Severus, straightening up slightly. “Ivantie told me that there will be over four hundred guests tonight; I will need both of your help to transfer the different types of potion into the goblets.”

“No problem,” he replied, “I will be glad to give all the help I can. I will meet you here when the guests take place around the tables.”

Severus took my hand and we strolled in the room, stopping here and there to chat with the people we knew. About half an hour later, Ivantie took Valerica’s hand and crossed the room, closely followed by the broods’ and clans’ leaders and the Clan’s elders. Once everybody was seated, Severus, Tomasz and I rose from our seats and raised our hands over the tables. Each guest received three courses: the first one was a Blood potion of Tomasz’s creation. It was a very delicate compound that tasted like the blood of a young woman who had had a tad too much Champagne. The taste was very convincing. Severus had brewed the second course; his potion had the vibrant and spicy taste of a man intoxicated with the fieriness of desire. It earned him many seducing glances from across the table when Ivantie praised his talent. I provided the third and last course: my Blood potion had the freshness and zest of youth and a slight sugary sweetness coupled with a touch of Grand Marnier that charmed many palates and disposed the minds and bodies for the rest of the reception.

Severus had a sumptuous meal; I ordered it from a fine restaurant in Targu Mures and had it delivered at the castle. He first enjoyed a few canapés, followed shortly after by a Vichyssoise. He then feasted on a large lobster (that had been pre-arranged for him to make sure the noise of breaking shells would not indispose any of the guests), and ended his feast with a fancy lemon mousse that had the lightness of a cloud. Given the fact that he had almost a full bottle of white wine during his meal, he was already in a very pleasant and talkative mood by the time the orchestra started playing the first dances. We had very entertaining conversations with Niculaie, Marcela and Cami, who were sitting close to the elders at the main table. Severus was the first to invite me for a dance as soon as the waltzes began (which is quite understandable; the minuets and volts that were played before interested the elders a bit more… and they were generally the only ones who knew the steps anyway).

“I thought you hated the very thought of dancing, Professor Snape,” I taunted, as his hand gently took mine and his arm hugged the middle of my back.

“It seems tonight is a night for many exceptions,” he mysteriously replied, before he stepped forward and made us move in harmony with the other dancers.

We danced together many times as the evening progressed, far more often than I would have expected him to. To be honest, I suspect that I had a rather possessive partner; he was generally reluctant to let me dance with other men, except when Ivantie or Niculaie invited me. When he accepted Cami’s invitation, however, I fully shared his attitude and jealously claimed him back for the next dance.

The orchestra was eventually replaced by recorded music, like every year. Most of the elders left the ballroom for the garden, but we stayed behind with Niculaie, Marcela, Ivantie and Cami. To my surprise, Severus danced in a quite satisfyingly uninhibited way between Niculaie and Ivantie (who played the fools, as usual), and he even seemed to enjoy himself. The music covered the seventies at the moment, so I guessed that it reminded him of his younger years. After a while, nevertheless, he grew tired of dancing and suggested that we all go outside, where we met Valerica and another elder named Jerzy.

We slowly walked along the garden paths, chatting about a wide variety of topics, until Valerica kept me discreetly behind.

“I do not think anybody would mind if you two disappeared all of a sudden,” she whispered in my ear.

“What do you mean, disappear?” I replied, feeling a little bit puzzled.

“You know exactly what I mean, Tasia,” she answered, giving me a teasing poke in the ribs. “Have you not noticed the way his eyes are devouring you?”

“I would not want to keep him away from the reception if he is enjoying himself…”

“Ah, do not be silly!” she joyfully exclaimed. “Remember what I told you… can you not feel the Goddess’ call?”

I turned my face to the mountains and listened with all the might of my heart and mind. Valerica was right; the Goddess Mother was indeed calling me to her, claiming me to her so I would celebrate life with my lover under her caring and tender gaze. I winked at Valerica and walked forward to grab Severus’ hand. Its touch, warm and welcoming, the sliding of his fingers intertwining with mine sent a wave of shock that seized my core before it reverberated back to him. A second later, his hand caressed my lower back, my waist, and rested over my hip, pressing me closer to his side.

“I suddenly feel like taking a stroll in the Carpathians,” I murmured in his ear, nudging my nose in his locks and making him shiver with pleasure. “There is a very special clearing I have not shown you yet… would you like to accompany me?”

“I am right beside you,” he simply answered, giving me soft massaging caresses with his fingers over the fabric of my dress.

I let the others walk ahead and distance us, and I lured Severus behind a high cedar tree. I took him in my arms and Apparated us to a small and discreet clearing in the Carpathians that was similar to the one we both liked in the Forbidden Forest. The oak trees surrounding us and forming the clearing’s borders were high and very old; their wisdom was palpable at a great distance. The ground was covered with soft grass and moss; I kicked off my shoes to enjoy it better shortly after our feet materialized on it. At the rear end of the clearing, a very small river sparkled in the moonlight, emitting soft and joyful gurgling sounds that mixed with the constant singing of cicadas. The air smelled like August… ripe wheat, coming in discreet waves from the crops down in the valley, late summer flowers, the warm earth, the fully mature leaves…

Severus took out his wand and meant to light it up, but I stopped him with a kiss. I took him by the hand and led him to one of the trees. Putting my palm on its trunk, I took a deep breath and murmured a familiar incantation.

“Lumos Naturales.”

At my command, the tree came to life and one of its branches lit up with a very peculiar type of flames. It was simply its reserves of all the sunlight it had accumulated, which got slowly released through its leaves to produce a soft glimmering light that could not hurt me, as it did not come from the sun itself and was well filtered by the tree. The branch then moved to the side and touched the closest tree, which lit up as well and did the same with its neighbour. Minutes later, the clearing was bathed in a very comforting light that created dancing shadows everywhere around us.

“This is beautiful,” murmured Severus, whose eyes also shone with the same light.

“This clearing is very special to me,” I explained, walking closer to him. “I spent many hours here listening to the river and the trees before they got used to my presence. With time, we began to trust each other, which allows me to humbly ask for a bit of light whenever I need it.”

“How long did it take for you to produce that spell here?”

“Over fifty years, if I am not mistaken.”

“I will not attempt to learn it, then,” he replied with an ironic smile.

“I do not see why you should not. In fact, I wanted us to come here so you could listen to all the things that sing here. I am sure you already heard the river, the wind in the trees and the cicadas; that is the obvious part. What I would like you to feel and hear is the soul of nature itself.”

“How do I do that?”

“You did it before,” I said, smiling and taking his hands. “Shut your mind away from every thought that does not belong to this moment, for this moment only belongs to us. Feel how our presence harmonizes with every sparkle of life around us, how you and I complement each other under the Goddess Mother’s and the Father God’s tender glances,” I added, putting his hands on my hips and sliding my hands up his frock coat to the back of his neck, bringing my face closer to his and letting my lips brush against his.

“You do not do anything to help me feel all this,” he argued, in a deep voice that rang with renewed desire.

“On the contrary… tonight is the Summer feast, Severus. Nature is celebrating the fruits of the God and Goddess’ union in Spring and cainites also celebrate, in our own way. Longer nights are coming, and we still remember that light can be found even in the darkest of nights. All you have to know is where to find it… or how to create it.”

I leaned forward and vanished the insignificant distance between our mouths. Explaining all those things to Severus connected me even more with all the meaning of that special night for my kind. I remembered Valerica’s words and opened my mind and each of my senses to the things that were happening around me. I could remember the guests’ energy, joy, excitement and eagerness. Locking my mind with Severus’, I gave him full access to my thoughts, sensations and feelings, which he gladly received. The very essence of life started beating from the depths of the earth, reaching us through our feet, filling us with a sensual energy that set our mouths on fire and transformed each of our kisses into fiery flames.

Severus’ hands soon left my hips and cupped my bottom, pressing me closer against his crotch, which throbbed slightly at my touch. I nudged a leg between his and gently pressed myself tighter; he rewarded me with a pleased and eager groan. His hands soon travelled upward and met my breasts; another satisfied groan informed me that he was rather pleased to feel that no piece of clothing other than the dress came between him and me. He rubbed and pressed his thumbs on the approximate location of my nipples until they hardened and pushed against the fabric, begging for his touch. Once he got them fully erect, he gently pinched them, making me plunge my tongue into his mouth with lust and impatience.

I slid his unbuttoned coat past his shoulders and let it fall on the ground. His silk tie and vest followed right after, leaving only his shirt and trousers. While he unhurriedly undid the knot of veils behind my neck, I feverishly unbuttoned his shirt, eager to feel the warm touch of his bare skin. As soon as his shirt joined the puddle of clothes on the grass, he pulled the dress down to the level of my waist and pressed me fervently against him. Flesh met flesh and I let out a long moan as his hungry lips grasped the delicate skin of my neck and pinched it in their fervour. Panting louder and louder as his tongue begged my forgiveness for the momentary pain he had just caused me, I scratched my nails against his lower abdomen and fumbled with the buttons of his trousers, which made him gasp and lick me even harder.

One by one, his buttons rolled between my agile fingers and gave me more access to his hardening member. I slid my hand into his underpants as soon as his trousers’ opening let me and grabbed him possessively. He moaned against my neck and jerked his hips forward, which only encouraged me to reach further and grope the warm and silky skin of his testicles.

“Antanasia,” he whispered in his low voice, “I want to feel your mouth there… please…”

Giving him a last luscious kiss, I crouched in front of him and brought his trousers and underpants down in one sharp move, letting out a victorious groan. I shamelessly buried my nose in the warmth of his balls and started by teasing him with wide circular motions, which he received and endured with a lot of patience. The pulsing and racing of his blood, however, coupled with the pounding of the earth underneath us and the spicy smells carried by the air soon intoxicated my senses and got the better of me. I moved my head back and took all his length at once, ignoring the protestations of my throat when my lips brushed against the soft curls of his pelvis.

Severus’ fingers clutched my hair firmly and renewed groans escaped from his mouth as I kept him all inside and playfully moved my tongue up and down, circling him and caressing him as far as I could possibly go. He gasped for air as I drew back, pressing my lips hard against his delicate skin and sucking hard on his tip before I plunged him deep inside again. Before long, he gave in to the temptation of waving his hips back and forth in rhythm with my mouth; his pleasure only increased mine and I soon started to caress myself, lifting the dress past my thighs.

When Severus came back to his senses and noticed what I was doing, he pulled away from my mouth and took off the rest of his clothes. He helped me do the same and invited me to lie down on the grass. Everything was fully alive to my senses and I felt like the earth grabbed my defenceless body and kept it firmly connected to the ground while my lover’s naked body came in complete touch with me and ravished me. The feel of his weight over me was heavenly, and so was the firm and throbbing pressure of his hardness against my belly. Sliding down slightly, he repositioned himself so it would rub against my swollen labia.

“Your skin smells so nice,” he murmured, grinding his crotch against mine and making me plant my nails into his powerful arms. “What has Valerica done to you?”

“She pampered me like a princess…” I replied, sliding my hands up his arms and burying my fingers into his thick locks.

“Remind me to thank her next time I see her, will you?” he teased, leaving a trail of kisses down my throat.

He kissed his way to my breasts, and firmly sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. I threw my head back and tightened the grip of my fingers over his hair, which only encouraged him to flicker his tongue over my hard bud. He kept pleasuring me until my legs wrapped around his waist and squeezed him lustily; only then did he pull back… to swoop down on my other breast and satisfy it, too. When he finally kissed his way further down, my hungry flesh felt attracted to his mouth as if they were the two poles of a powerful magnet; I arched my back and begged for his kisses and touch, until he pressed his mouth over my moistened labia and ordered me to stay still with a long commanding lick.

I immediately obeyed, and was rewarded with gentle flicks of his tongue all over my aroused flesh. He searched for my swollen bud like a blind man in an unknown room, teasing me with hundreds of random caresses that went everywhere but where I craved for them to go, until I loudly begged him to grant me my wish, which he did with a small moan that sounded like a satisfied chuckle. He cupped my clitoris with his lips and gently sucked on it, forcing it to ooze out of hiding and meet the silky warmth of his manly mouth. My legs trembled at his touch, and it took me every bit of my will to stop them from clasping brutally on each side of his head in appreciation. As he pleased me, sending always renewed shivers from my femaleness through the small of my back to the bottom of my throat, he took my buttocks in his hands and lifted me slightly so I would press even harder against his mouth. It would have been easy to just let him bring me to release, but I found the strength to resist nevertheless.

“Take me, my love,” I hoarsely moaned, “I want to hold you in my arms…”

Severus gave me a few last lusty licks and crawled back over me until his still fully erect member came pushing against my moistness. I let him rub himself wet for a while, looking at his half-closed eyes that carried an authentic expression of well-being. I then reached to gently cup his testicles and cast the contraceptive spell, but just as I took a breath to utter the incantation, he grabbed my hand and his fully opened eyes now gave me a strange look.

“Oh, sorry,” I said, “I did not notice you had already cast it.”

“I did not cast any spell,” he answered.

“Then I do not understand… will you not let me cast it? Remember what I told you last year in the dungeons; cainites are particularly fertile on the night of the Summer feast.”

“I remember very well what you said, Antanasia,” he softly replied. “What do you say we forget the contraceptive spell for tonight?”

“I… what? I mean… I do not know what to tell you, Severus!” I stammered, feeling completely taken aback by his unexpected words. “Are you sure? Is it something you really want or do you suggest it on an impulse? Or because of Cordelius? You… you would really want to do this? With me?” I concluded, a spontaneous smile stretching my lips and reaching my eyes, from which a few furtive tears escaped.

“Antanasia,” he began, rolling to his back and holding me close against him. “In my life, I generally had to go through the pains of loss to realise the uniqueness and preciousness of what I had previously held between my hands. This is what happened with you… and this is what happened with Cordelius. Because of him, I realised how fragile life can be… and I do not want to vanish from this world leaving nothing behind me. From that moment, when I thought about having a child, even if the thought had never been important before, it took all its sense when I realised what I might have lost if you had refused me the second time… or if I had died in battle. The war is one thing; my life is another. I do not want the war to lead my life so much anymore. Now, understand that I am far from being obsessed with that project. If you do not feel ready, I absolutely do not want to force you; we can wait. However, if you want to give it a try… I am ready.”

I looked at him for long minutes, caressing his offered body as I fully took in the genuine and unforeseen declaration he had just made me. I turned my senses to the depths of my mind, thinking that I would find many fears and reluctances there. Surprisingly, I did not find as many fears as I thought I would; I mainly found the remains of the pain of Cordelius’ loss… and a strong hope that the dream I had once held at the tip of my fingers was still possible. The only question left was whether I wanted to take that chance with Severus… and the answer was there, in the two vast lands in which reigned the eternal darkness of the night.

“The Goddess Mother will decide if life is to blossom again inside of me…”

Severus’ lips covered my smile with rivalling tenderness and soon renewed our mutual passion. He took more than just my body, that night; he grabbed my heart and soul in passing, and I offered them gladly. Countless times, I murmured, then cried that I was his and his alone as he brought us to the liberations of the purest of delights, our bodies entwining, locking and unlocking with each other as the scent of our desire got pleasantly mixed with the rich smell of the grass and earth underneath us and our exclamations of pleasure got carried away by the soft rustling of the leaves in the wind and the murmur of the river next to us.

And this is how you came into our lives, my sweet little child, on a warm and very special night in August, when our souls were ensnared with the joyfulness of the feast and the new meaning our feelings were taking, in a clearing that was vibrant with life and where the air carried the entrancing smells of the first harvests of the year. Your father and I gave each other the greatest gifts we could give and receive: a definite and complete turning of our eyes, filled with love and hope, towards a common future.

The following morning, when I woke up, Severus was already awake, one of his hands tenderly placed on my belly… and he was smiling.

~*~

AUTHOR’S NOTES

As always, thanks for your patience! And comments are always welcome… and needed! :o)