Love, Lies & Loneliness

Chapter 31
(Lies, Lies, Lies)

“Piece of cake Harry?” Harry smiled warmly at Mrs Weasley who handed him an overly large piece of cake. Harry was sure he’d eaten enough already but didn’t dare refuse Mrs Weasley’s offer, after the effort she’d put into making it.

The backyard of the burrow was swarming with people, all of whom Harry knew in some capacity or another. Dinner had been served under the stars with everyone gathered snugly around a magically elongated table. Everyone had been so happy, their conversations ranging from future plans to past glories. Mr Weasley and the twins had worked on lighting the garden with never ending torches, and coloured lanterns, which hung from every available hook. Harry was well pleased to see everyone together enjoying themselves. At dinner he’d sat between Sirius and Lupin, opposite Ron, Hermione and Draco. Unfortunately Snape had been at the other end of the table with Tonks and Mad-eye and Harry had hardly a chance to speak to the man since his arrival. Everyone had commanded his attention and Sirius had been happily dragging him from group to group showing his godson off proudly. Harry had not really spoken much all evening, instead listening to other people’s conversation about what happened last week and in the past.

After dinner the speeches had come with Dumbledore, Mr Weasley and Sirius all making long winded praises of Harry and the outcome of so many years hard work. Harry had sat stoically through them all, everyone seemed to know what had happened accept him, and those who didn’t know didn’t seem to care. Harry had briefly caught Snape’s attention when Dumbledore announced that the professor had by order of the new minister of magic been granted complete return of his families’ assets as acknowledgement for the vital role he’d played in destroying Voldomort. Harry knew it would probably be a bittersweet prize to Snape but it was probably the most the professor would have hoped to receive.

With the speeches and dinner over Harry had retreated into conversation with Charlie Weasley and Draco about his work over in Romania with dragons. Draco was fascinated and soon Harry had found himself feeling a little left out in the conversation as the two men talked animated about a subject Harry knew very little about. So Harry had wandered alone across the backyard heading over to the dinner table in search of a drink. Mrs Weasley had collared him there with the cake and Harry had thanked her politely as she filled a cup full of pumpkin juice for him as well.

“You look a little out of sorts Harry dear, is your hand still sore?” Harry sipped from his drink as he balanced the plate of cake on his bandaged hand awkwardly.

“No just tried I guess.” Harry shrugged his shoulders as he licked up a little of the icing off the top of his slice of cake.

“Well you know you can always go upstairs to Ron’s room and have a little nap if you want to, I think Ginny and Neville are up there exchanging those card things, you lot collect.” Mrs Weasley meant well by offering Ron’s room to Harry but for all it was worth Harry felt suddenly like a child being sent to bed early. With a polite thank-you Harry moved quietly over to the back porch of the Weasley’s house and sat himself down quietly on the steps beneath a large purple lantern. From the looks of the mess on the porch Fred and George had already ambushed some unsuspecting guest with one of their pranks there so Harry considered himself safe from the twins antics where he sat.

Putting his glass of juice on the step beside him Harry picked up his piece of cake and bit into it managing to smear icing onto his nose and chin in the process. The cake tasted divine, Mrs Weasley really having outdone herself with the catering for the party. In the torch lit garden Harry watched the various groups of people sitting around chatting on the lawn, thick picnic blankets having been spread out for people to sit on. Draco and Charlie had been joined by Bill and Percy all of whom seemed to be sharing stories about dragons and their own lines of work. Ron and Hermione were sitting alone near the shed cuddling and nuzzling like the lovers they were. Seamus, Dean and the twins were sneaking about the bushes obviously planning something evolving garden gnomes. Above him Harry could hear Ginny and Neville laughing over something in the youngest Weasley’s bedroom. Neville’s gran, Mr and Mrs Granger and Tonks were sitting with Mrs Weasley still at the dinner table talking over glasses of gooseberry wine and cheese crackers.

Finally though Harry’s gaze settled on the last group of people sitting a little to the right of him around a small open fire Mr Weasley had lit for a bit of warmth in the cooling night breeze. In the warm glow of the magically created fire Harry could just make out the faces of the wizards sat on various blankets around them. Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore, Mr Weasley, Mad-Eye and Snape all sat smoking muggle cigars and sipping fire whisky. Harry only knew what the cigars were having dusted Uncle Vernon’s Cuban cigar box a fair number of times during his stay at his relatives. Unconsciously Harry listened in on their conversation as he stuffed another bit of cake into his mouth.

“…wish James was here to see this day.” Harry watched cautiously from relative secrecy behind the handrail of the porch as his godfather swilled his fire whisky around in its glass before drinking a healthy swig of it. There was a murmur of agreement from the other men who all sat staring into the fire in reflection.

“Can you imagine how proud he’d be of Harry?” Lupin chuckled to himself as he inhaled on his cigar and reclined back against a pillow he’d conjured for himself.

“Bet he’s right pleased with himself, having such a son.” Mad-eye tapped his empty glass with the end of his wand and Harry watched as it instantly refilled itself. Unconsciously the group of wizards glanced upwards towards the stars before all of them tilted their glasses towards the heavens.

“Heres to you James old boy.” Sirius whispered softly to which end everyone drunk simultaneously in agreement. There was a silence that engulfed the group then and Harry wondered if anything more was going to be said but then Sirius turned towards Snape who had been extremely quiet. “I’m still finding it hard to believe about you and lily.” Snape finished off his glass of fire whisky in one go and put it aside on the grass before bring the cigar back up to his lips.

“I think everyone is a little stunned at what exactly went on between you and Lily Evan’s, Severus. Even myself was unaware of how much you both knew.” Dumbledore stroked his beared idly the cigar balanced preciously between his aged fingers. Harry was intrigued by the turn of conversation and stared at Snape through the bars of the handrail. Like always Snape had turned up to the party immaculately dressed but as the night had worn on the professor had discarded his formal outer robe and now sat around the fire in a pair of tailored trousers and a white collared shirt and black waistcoat, the shirts sleeves rolled up casually to his elbows. Never in all his years had he seen Snape so relaxed and casual looking, the stress and sternness in the man’s expression having melted away from the man’s face, to leave only beauty behind.

“I don’t think that matters anymore, Lily’s gone and what she did will be forever remembered in Harry’s image.” Severus lay back on the blanket and Harry cursed as the professor’s face was gone from view.

“James would have killed you if he’d have known about what you two were up to behind his back.” Sirius spoke calmly to Snape and Harry wondered when the two men had stopped arguing long enough to have a civil conversation.

“You make it sound as if I was having a sordid love affair with her Black.” Snape huffed a contemptible laugh and Harry could just image the expression that would grace the professor’s face. “It was research not sex.” Harry again listened closely hanging on every word that was spoken about his parents. “James would have understood eventually.”

“I doubt it. James was smart but not as smart as Lily was.” Lupin spoke up this time and Harry watched as the werewolf stretched himself languidly in front of the fire almost curling up into the heat as an animal would.

“True. It was her who started it all. She found a book in the library and it went from there, we weren’t to know then about the prophecy and Harry.” Harry frowned in confusion as he listened carefully to what Snape had just said, it made no sense without further explanation but Harry kept silent in the shadows.

“Lily Evan’s trusted you implicitly Severus, for her to tell you about Harry.” Mr Weasley finally entered the conversation his own cigar beginning to burn low. Harry watched Severus sit up slightly and smile across at the other man.

“James Potter would turn in his grave if he knew that Lily told me before him about her pregnancy.” Harry’s eyes widened considerably as he took in the new information. No one else in the conversation seemed surprised at this revelation, which further concreted what Harry knew about everyone already knowing about what happened in the past.

“No, what would have him turning in his grave would be knowing you kissed his son Snape.” Sirius cut in quickly and instantly Snape sat up and glared at Sirius who casually leaned back on his elbow and took a long puff on his cigar.

“I wish you’d drop that Black. I told you before, it was one sided and had I not been concerned for Harry’s mental state going into battle I would have put a stop to it immediately.” Harry felt his heart break in his chest as he saw the seriousness wash over Severus face as he replied to Sirius. He’d allowed hope to bloom again in his chest after having been rejected back in Snape’s rooms the week before, and now he regretted it.

“Are you saying you kissed my godson to stop him going into battle with a broken heart? Please spare me the sob story.” Sirius looked incredulously up at Snape who rolled his eyes and tutted loudly. Harry couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he watched Snape become defensive.

“I remember you once had a crush on one professor Minerva McGonagall when you were at school Black.” Snape raised an eyebrow at Sirius and Harry watched as his godfather blushed a deep crimson colour. Lupin and Dumbledore chuckled heartily at Sirius discomfort to which end Snape continued. “Am I right in saying that having approached and been rejected by the woman at the Yule ball, you felt like utter shit.” Again Snape paused but Harry was hardly listening to the conversation now as he tried to stifle the sobs that threaten to break free of his trembling lips. “Well now imagine your godson feeling exactly like that when facing Lord Voldomort? I would assure you if Harry had been that emotionally unstable when facing the Dark Lord the outcome would not have been so promising. Perhaps now you see why I let it happen?” Harry couldn’t take anymore. Lies, Lies Lies. Everything he’d ever known, lived and done was a lie. The half eaten plate of cake that Harry had sat on his lap fell off with a clatter as he stood up hastily from the steps. The noise drew attention to his position and everyone turned from their conversations as Harry strode off across the gardens heading around to the door of the house in order to floo back to Hogwarts.

“Harry! Where are you going?” As Harry passed Draco still sitting with Ron’s brothers the blonde haired boy must have seen Harry’s tears and instantly stood up in concern. Harry ignored him though as he heard Sirius calling for him to stop. Harry was sure Sirius was running to catch up with him and Harry moved a little quicker. Mrs Weasley was the next to try and stop him but Harry rudely pushed past her as he entered the kitchen and headed towards the fireplace.

“Harry for Merlin’s sake what’s wrong with you?” Harry stopped dead in the kitchen and spun around as he heard a breathless Sirius stumble in the door behind him. Sirius immediately fell silent as he saw the tears and pain in his godson’s eyes. There was a split second of understanding before another figure came into view at the door. Harry’s gaze shifted to look at Snape over Sirius’s shoulder and in that instant Harry wished he were a million miles away, somewhere safe and happy with his mum and dad.

“Har……….” Harry never heard the rest of his name as he felt an unfamiliar tingle surge across his body before he was sucked into a swirling nothingness. Had Harry been around to see it, he would have seen Sirius and Snape glance at each other in shock the word ‘shit’ barely passing Snape’s lips as he and Black had watched the boy in front of them disappear in a ball of fiery purple flame.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>