Low Man Is Due

PART THREE



Chapter One: Please forgive me – Fairly obviously this is Severus’ feelings. I wanted to do two complete chapters in which it was unclear whether or not Harry had made it. I really enjoyed writing this one, as I had about a hundred words of it scribbled down one morning before I went to work.



Chapter two: My fingers seek my veins – this was quite an odd title, as taken literally it applies to none. Yet, Severus is wishing he was dead, and also, more filthily, he is seeking the veins of his cock when he thinks of Harry. Also, coma Harry spends time contemplating his non physical nature. Hermione, too, is seeking Harry’s veins – his life.



It’s actually very difficult for me to write some of this because of course I knew the characters’ motivations. It was Jilliane who pointed out to me that the readers didn’t, so I had better make it clear, which I did in the last few chapters of part three.



Chapter three: Can you heal the broken worlds within? – Isn’t that just a heartbreaking title? It isn’t just Harry whose world has been broken, but Severus’ too. His life has been changed forever – as it seems likely that he’ll be living in that dungeon under guard for the rest of his life unless someone intervenes to save him.



“There’s a storm coming” refers to the fact that Harry was about to wake up, but also, is used in the next chapter in Harry’s coma as an inducement to return to the world. He couldn’t stay broken forever.



Chapter four: But I lie, lie straight to the mirror

The one I've broken, to match my face – another beautiful (if disturbing) image. We have the idea of being broken again in this chapter, as it features our two heroes. I spent a LONG time debating whether or not to end the chapter as I did, or whether I should add a line. So, this is how it ends:



“The perfection of it irritated him, he wanted it marred, damaged, broken. “



but I played with the idea of:



“The perfection of it irritated him, he wanted it marred, damaged, broken.



Like him.”



Which do you prefer? I do like the second one, but have avoided being really obvious in this story, and I thought that was a bit too blatant!



Chapter five: All I want from you is forgive me – this is Harry’s line to Severus, but not really, as he doesn’t want Severus to apologise, he wants Snape to help him understand why he still wants the older man.



I also hope people got that due to his time in the coma something in Harry was either healed or destroyed, as he is much too in control! Again, it is up to you what you believe. I do offer you the choice of believing he is suffering from emotional fatigue as it were. Your call!



Oh, the other thing Severus wanted to say, but didn’t was “I love you.”



Chapter six: If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you – I certainly wanted people to understand that there was a need for the two to understand what had happened and the reasons behind it to help them move on.



In the original plan Severus sent Harry a letter saying “I love you,” Harry then sent one back saying “I loved you” which tears Severus’ heart out. I changed it here because it just made sense to have the confession at this point. It also led neatly into the exchange of letters that follows.



Chapter seven: So as I write to you

Of what is done and to do

Maybe you'll understand

And won't cry for this man

'Cause low man is due

- the chapter titles started getting a bit lengthy here because I just love the lyrics! I deliberately put “Low Man Is Due” into the title here, rather than saving it for the last one, cos I thought people would be expecting that. And, I had Severus finally confess his love here, but in typical Snape style “If only I didn’t love you”. That “if only” section was added quite late in the day, but I felt it fitted with the general regret Severus felt about what had happened.



Chapter eight: Just when all seems fine

And I'm pain free

You jab another pin

Jab another pin in me

- yes, I know, another long title, but it is such a horrible image that I had to have it. It applies to Harry, being hurt by Severus’ confessions, and Severus, hurt by what he did to Harry and learning that Harry did love him at one point.



As I type this, I haven’t posted this chapter, so it’ll be interesting to see how many of you think Severus plans to kill himself. I never meant it to read that way. It was only when I had written part of chapter nine and went back to check something that I saw how it might be construed. That is why I included that section in the final chapter with Severus lying on the floor.



This chapter is pretty much here cos Jilliane moaned at me that readers don’t always know what the writers does, so here I explained as much as I could. The idea of Dumbledore having drugged/charmed Severus is there to offer those of you who want it a way to believe he was always the innocent.



Chapter nine: Can you strip away so we may start again? – I had this earmarked as the last title for a while and think it leaves the story on the right note of tentative optimism. If they can strip away the past they have a chance together. And, more ambivalence – is it Fawkes who intensifies feelings in characters? The idea is there if you want to placate your mind with it. And again, obviously, I haven’t posted this yet (well, if you’re reading this then chapter nine has been posted, but as I write this – on 19th August 2008, I haven’t updated chapter nine) so I’m looking forward to seeing what people say about the ending. If anyone feels like whinging that the ending is very open then I’m gonna point you towards the first warning, way back in part one, chapter one. I knew THEN what the last line of this be. Yes, before I wrote one sentence of LMID I knew the last line. And I did say that there was no resolution!



Read the descriptions of the silence, by the way, they explain what is happening. It is in their eyes that the two are communicating. I was going to add a “forgiving, emotional .. silence” but thought that made it too clear that there would be some reconciliation. I know I intended it to be that way, finally, but some of you might want a sad ending, so, don’t read what I just put! Oops!



General stuff that doesn’t belong anywhere: If you were smart, you could probably have figured out that part three, chapter nine was the end, as each part has had nine chapters. Did no one spot that?! Ah, nuts! I’m a big fan of patterns and live in hope that one day the guy will come along and I’ll know from the patterns! (Oh god, could I get soppier?! See, this is why I never say those three little words unless I have to, my stupid romantic soul gets freaked easily!)



When I first heard ‘Low Man’s Lyric’ it was whilst with my bro, back at our parents’ house, so at that point I didn’t know what it was called. Thus, for a long time I thought the line was: “No man is doomed” (which I rather like as a line), once I worked out it was called ‘LML’ I thought the line was “low man is doomed”, which is slightly less encouraging! I’m already thinking about what story I could write that’s called “No man is doomed” which would link into this story. And no, I’m not telling Ron’s side of it, there’s no way I could write those torture scenes.



And no, I am not writing a sequel. Truly, no sequel. It ends as it ends.



So, before I go, I would like to thank: Black Cat, Jilliane, Lilith, Sammy, Patricia, Noisette, Xaraxn, Poohbear74, Midnight Rain, Dark Gothic, Dhalim, m_m, Visitkarte, lilpotter, tippi, Ariencalen, CT, myniephoenix, Solomon, Aufie, vivre, Lioncourt, dirty_darella, cravedom, and ‘Anon’ for reviewing, many of you multiple times. Seriously guys, thank you so much!



Thank you to my housemate, as he had to put up with me wandering around looking like someone had died whilst I wrote this (and had to put up with listening to LML several times a day!).



A final thank you to my wonderful friend, and dedicatee (is that a word?!) Jilliane. This isn’t the story I originally told her about but she still nagged me quite often (ok, every day!) to get on with it, even though it wasn’t the story she had wanted written.



Oh, and seriously, no sequel



SP





























































































Extra – see it was worth scrolling down a third time – well done you!



Epilogue

Renew our faith

Which way we can

To fall in love with life again



Three years later…



Severus sat in a small living room, swirling a glass of firewhiskey around and around a simple glass. He quietly marveled that he was doing so simple a thing. But, when the saviour of the wizarding world had asked for one Severus Snape to be released into his care, no one was about to say no. Harry had finally seen off the snake faced Dark Lord two summers earlier and had enjoyed a life of quiet luxury since. His house in Hogsmeade was unPlottable, meaning both he and his partner could relax in peace.



And peace to Severus meant reading. The room was crowded with books. An entire wall was devoted to potion making, with the best books on the subject, including one written by him, sitting alongside well read copies of ‘Potions Monthly’ magazine. Another section was given over to Dark Arts books, and a third, and much smaller section, was devoted to his partner’s past-time: Quidditch.



He sneered slightly at them. He really did not see the attraction in watching two teams fly after four balls. Although, he had to admit, some of the men on the teams were rather fit. He smiled internally. It would never do to be seen smiling, after all. If he wasn’t entirely sure that his house-mate wasn’t cheating on him, he’d have begun to feel a little concerned at the amount of time the younger man spent ogling fit, attractive, sporty young men.



Hmm, not cheating on him…



Of course, there was no relationship of that nature between them. Severus wanted it with every breath in his body, he’d be mad not to, but what they had was more precious than satisfying his frustrated sexual urges.



Speaking of…



His erection had suddenly pricked up, which could only mean one thing: it had realised his love was back.



“Hey,” the younger man said softly, a smile warming his casual greeting. There was a look of anger on his face which vanished swiftly, to be replaced with peace. “Good day?”



“Tolerable,” Severus replied, “after all, dangerous criminal as I am, I can hardly wander about Hogsmeade can I? So, instead I have spent a scintillating day reading.”



“Wow! You haven’t spent the past week, month, year doing precisely that already!” The tone was mocking, but the affection behind it was clear.



“Brat!” Severus retorted, rising to kiss the man he desired so much.



Harry slid into his arms with no hesitation – and wasn’t that an achievement given their history? – and held his face up for their customary kiss. He always led, directing the pace and intensity of their kiss.



His mouth pressed against the older lips, slight moisture upon them, and he let his tongue flick out, peeking between his own lips to tickle his partner’s mouth.



Severus smiled and returned the gesture, his tongue flipping up and down rubbing their tips together. The feel of that muscle swiftly sliding against his made his cock throb, and Severus had to pull his body back just a little. Harry was still a bit tentative with the idea of Severus’ desire for him. They had gone further than kissing, but Harry had always been in charge, only allowing it to go as far as he was comfortable with, and ensuring he was always able to flee if he panicked (which had happened seven times to Snape’s remembrance). There had been hand jobs, and even the occasional blow job when Harry was feeling particularly in control. Hand jobs were the equivalent of sex between them, as it was often the way they were physical with one another in their shared bed.



And the shared bed was another milestone. Harry had finally begun to believe that Severus wouldn’t attack him. He knew it in his head, but making his heart believe it, when it had been so badly used by this man before, was more difficult. The first night they had shared a bed, neither had slept. Harry had been rigid with tension, and Severus had feared dropping off in case he began to rub against his love and scared him.



Of course, some mornings he had woken up rubbing against Harry, or, more rarely, but more wonderful for that, Harry had rubbed against Severus, climaxing with Severus’ name spilling from his lips as he woke.



But now, Harry was clinging to him, hands sliding down Severus’ back to pull the buttocks close to him.



Snape allowed himself to be maneuvered, nearly coming when he felt the other’s erection pressing against his leg! Harry rocked gently, tugging his lips free to ask, “Is this ok?”



Severus almost laughed. Harry was asking him if it was ok?! “It’s very ok, Harry. Very, very ok.” He didn’t care that his vocabulary was completely rubbish. Harry, his Harry was rubbing against him.



“Good.” Harry settled himself against Severus’ chest, his head rested just under the other man’s chin. “I – I think I’m ready,” he said.



Snape stilled his motion. Only his hands went on automatically stroking the hair. He stared off into space, considering Harry’s words. He wanted to make love with Harry so much, but was frightened of what memories it might dreg up.



They had discussed, abstractly, how they should make love their first time. Severus had been clear – Harry would be in control. He would ride Severus, pulling off if he began to tense or was unsure. Severus would never call Harry a cock tease or show his feelings if the younger man was unable to complete the coupling.



“I – I want your cock in me,” Harry growled, and Severus stillness snapped.



He pulled free of Harry and looked deeply into those emerald eyes. What he saw there reassured him and he took his lover’s hand and together they walked to their room. They moved in silence, letting the touch of palm on palm communicate all they felt.



In the bedroom, Severus sat down on the bed, tugging gently, but loosely, on Harry’s hand so that he toppled onto his partner.



With a whump Severus landed on his back, Harry sprawled over him. At once, the younger man smiled to reassure his bed mate and began squirming rather delightfully, rubbing their cocks together. Harry shudder with pleasure and his head fell back as he pressed his aching length against Severus’.



“Harry, “ Severus whispered, “I want this so very much, I don’t think I can hang on. If you want to climax like this, that is more than acceptable. If, however, you wish to go further, I need to have a little breather to calm down.”



Harry rolled off to one side, gasping a little, chest heaving. “O-ok, Severus,” he panted, “a breather sounds like a good idea.”



With infinite care, the ex-teacher leaned over and began working one hand under Harry’s t-shirt. He slid his fingers up over smooth golden skin. He ignored the tiny fault lines of scars, knowing they both hated what the indentations reminded them of, and wickedly flicked one nipple, feeling it stir under his touch at once.



A large proportion of Harry’s arousal used to come from pain, and Severus had spent a long time helping Harry achieve climax without being hurt. Now, he could introduce a little roughness to their foreplay, without it reinforcing Harry’s problems.



He pinched it slightly, rolling the hard pebble between calloused finger and thumb. He savoured the groan Harry gave, and the tiny thrust of slender hips.



On the bed, Harry was loving the feelings being created on his body. He grabbed his top and pulled it over his head, mussing up impossibly messy hair. And then he reached for his trousers and undid them, knowing that Severus would understand the signal he had just given.



Severus did. He ached, knowing that Harry was willing for this to continue further. He used his free hand to part the material and grasp the wet hard shaft he craved. He felt the vein pulsing under his palm, the flesh twitching in his grip. He marveled at the contrast of textures – the silky smoothness of the skin coupled with the hardness of the underlying cock, the dryness of the crisp hairs compared with the wet slickness of the rounded head. Then there was the smell of Harry’s seed, tangy and bitter and so powerful. He longed to sample Harry’s essence. He told Harry so, and, receiving a nod, moved himself to better do what he wished.



He pulled the clothing down, removing it completely, before he pressed one flat palm against Harry’s inner thigh, nudging it more apart. Breath coming quickly, a little fear creeping into his eyes, Harry spread his legs, calming when his partner reassured him that a blow job was all he intended.



Severus saw the dick jerking under his gaze, felt the intensity of Harry’s desire, even with that moment of panic, and felt humbled. He kissed the throbbing vein, tracing his tongue along it, following his lick with kisses. The swollen tip he licked clean of its fluid, although more showed in the slit, so he bent his head to a close study of that area. His tongue laved the bulbous head, leaving the stretched skin shiny with his own moisture. The slit was wet once more with Harry’s need, so Severus worked the tip of his tongue into the gap, lapping the liquid from the cock before it even reached the surface.



Harry whimpered, one hand clutching the sheets convulsively, the other threading into Severus’ hair.



His hand gripped Harry’s dick firmly, and he held it in place as he slowly lowered his mouth more fully onto the shaft. The thick tip slid over his tongue, leaving a burst of flavour in its wake, before it pushed against the back of his mouth. The shaft itself, engulfed in warm wetness, moved and throbbed between his lips.



Severus tightened the grip his lips had on the shaft, and sucked. Harry screamed and climaxed, shuddering, his seed hitting Severus’ throat and trickling down.



Groaning with pleasure, Harry sagged onto the bed, pushing Severus’ mouth off him when the intensity of the pleasure began to hurt.



Severus contented himself with swallowing the seed and trying to stave off his own arousal. He was still hopeful that Harry wished to go further, but would be content if the younger man didn’t, after all.



“Enough?” he queried after some five minutes of panting had elapsed.



He was so pleased when Harry shook his head. “More,” he said, and a note of pleading had crept into his voice.



Severus nodded. “Very well. Perhaps you can pass me the lubricant?”



The bottle of thick oily fluid had been placed on the bedside nearly six months previously, and was regularly replaced, even though unused. Severus had wanted Harry to become familiar with the concept of sexual relations between them, but also to understand that Severus would never push the issue.



Harry squirmed up the bed, snagged the glass bottle and wriggled back down. He handed it to Severus with barely a tremble, although he couldn’t quite meet the other wizard’s eyes.



“This doesn’t have to happen today, Harry,” Severus commented.



The younger man seemed about to say something, but drew his lips together before finally murmuring, “Please.”



Gently settling once again between the quivering legs, Severus focused his attention, not on the clenching pucker, but on the dangling balls. He bent his mouth and kissed the wrinkled skin, loving the strangled gasp that came from the other wizard. He lapped at the loose skin, feeling the orb shifting beneath the surface, and then he sucked the ball into his mouth, tongue licking like crazy at the hot skin. His nose was pressed close to Harry’s hardening shaft, and the smell of arousal made his own dick ache.



He continued worshipping the testicle as he liberally coated one long digit with lubricant. Moving slowly, so that he gave Harry plenty of warning, and thus time to change his mind, he walked his fingers up one thigh to rub at the spasming hole.



He paused as he heard a sharp intake of breath, then a choked voice gasped, “Do it! Do it!”



Unhurriedly, despite his cock screaming at him, he wriggled the finger slowly in, moving it about to stretch the entrance as fully as possible, and to allow Harry to acclimatise to the sensation. The channel was so tight it hurt. It clutched greedily at Severus as he possessed it, making his balls draw up underneath his wet pole. Fighting the urge to rut until he spurted, Snape worked his finger free, returning moments later with it freshly slicked, and a second one with it.



Harry, his legs open, and in an intensely vulnerable position, felt nothing but ecstacy coursing through him. The feel of the fingers within him had caused a moment or two or fear, but the sheer sensation of being possessed through choice had overwhelmed him. Of course, having one ball sucked relentlessly was helping to take his mind off the slight discomfort involved, and made him jerk his hips with desire occasionally.



By the time he had been fully prepared with three fingers and generous amounts of thick lubricant, Harry was feeling very very aroused. “Come on!” he moaned as Severus slowly slid over his sweating body to kiss him. “Come on!” he gasped as soon as their mouths parted.



Snape looked deeply into his partner’s eyes. “You know how I feel, Harry, and I’ve told you one of the possible consequences of our coupling. Do you wish to continue?”



Harry brought his hips up as best he could. “Severus,” he began, voice hoarse with passion, “I want to continue, very much so. And if our actions cause us to create a child, then so be it.”



The kiss that swept him away left him in no doubts that Severus was touched by his words.



Hands held his legs in the right position as Severus, black eyes intense for any sign of unease, began pressing into his lover. He took his time penetrating Harry, loving the way the passage opened just enough around him, and yet held him snugly within its grip. The incredible heat stole his breath as he continued pushing in deep; deeper than his fingers had reached. With one final, controlled thrust, he buried himself into Harry’s willing tightness.



A small adjustment of Harry’s position later, and he was brushing directly on the nub, making Harry shake and groan continuously.



The younger man reached his hands out to Severus, and the older wizard took them, threading their fingers together, to hold on as they connected in this most intimate of ways. Lips touched and held as they barely moved their lower bodies. The relentless pressure against his nub was making Harry’s balls tighten, and the feel of that nub rubbing against his slit was making Severus’ balls tighten.



Tongues tangled, fingers clenching, the two men climaxed, each ripping lips free for a bare moment to shriek the other’s name, before kissing passionately again.



When the afterglow had diminished somewhat, even though they still held hands and kissed softly, Severus asked, “Why today?”



Harry snuggled up to his lover and spoke quietly, one finger circling a hard nipple, “Lucius Malfoy tried to escape from Azkaban today,” he said.



“I hardly see how that prompted this,” Severus commented.



Harry’s face set into a grim line. “He was caught escaping, and put up a fight. Someone had smuggled a wand in to him somehow and he attacked the Aurors on guard.”



He was trembling and Snape snagged a sheet to pull it over the shaking man, and then softly kissed the forehead.



“They killed him.” Harry stated baldly. “He’s gone forever, Severus.”



Snape’s lips descended onto Harry’s, his love almost overpowering him. Moments before he captured his lover’s mouth, he heard the words, “We’re free.”



SP: Do me a favour, please? Don’t mention this little goodie to anyone? Ta.



And that really is the end of LMID.