Situational Ethics

Situational Ethics

By Mizzfreestyle/Zega

Edited by Coconut-ice22

WARNINGS: Mature content ahead.

Chapter 30:

"Situational Ethics"

Harry's anxious green eyes were riveted to Dumbledore's, and Dumbledore wondered, how many times have those eyes cried for Severus Snape? He reached across the cold air and placed his hand upon Harry's warm shoulder. He had only one recollection of Snape shedding tears for this boy.

Dumbledore closed his eyes, calling the scene to mind.

"Professor?" The light, but discernible quiver in Harry's voice assured Dumbledore of Harry's trepidation. "I don't...."

"You may not wish to tell me, Harry, but you know what you are guilty of, and I think you... do not care what it has brought about."

The atmosphere changed. Harry was still, as was Eras, as if he was listening to the tales of his father's debauchery.

"I've known of your attraction to Snape prior to his visits to Grimmauld Palace two years ago. Given your nature, I expected nothing less than your seeking out the person of your affections. But, I hadn't expected Severus to act on it. I turned a blind eye to your sixth year, hoping that whatever would come of your relationship with my Potions teacher would blossom into something more. That was until his impulsive marriage to Caitlin. I blame Severus for seeking you out after that. I do not condemn you for wanting to know why and demanding answers. However...," Dumbledore's face went from stern to outraged, "when I heard that you had bore a child...." Dumbledore's lower jaw quivered in anger.

"I didn't do it with the intentions of bringing back Severus to me. He doesn't know."

"That is beside the point, Harry Potter." Dumbledore moved to sit on the bed, invading Harry's space in order to accentuate the foolishness of what Harry has done. "This is not the time to be bearing children. Voldemort-"

"Voldemort! It's always about Voldemort! Did it ever occur to you that this could be my only chance to know what it's like to have a child? To have a family? There's a chance I might get killed! There's a chance Severus might get killed! I refused to face Voldemort knowing that I lost the chance of having something so special."

A pause. "It will be most unfair to Erasmus if he has to grow up never knowing who his parents were."

"There might not be another chance, Professor!" Harry’s eyes pleaded with Dumbledore. "Am I not entitled to happiness?"

"You are still a child, Harry. You know nothing of the strenuous efforts it takes to raise a child."

"I didn't act on a whim. And I'm willing to learn and do my best for my son. I am strong. I am determined. And I do not plan on dying. Let me have a reason to keep fighting."

The assertion that poured from Harry's mouth seemed to have touched Dumbledore. The older wizard sighed and had nothing to argue. Save..., "And Severus is unaware?"

"I think so, though I know he has his suspicions."

"As did everyone. Those green eyes belonged to Lily... and to her only son."

Harry closed his eyes. “Yes, I know. Remus and Sirius lied and said they came from some deceased relative of theirs."

"You cannot hide the truth forever. Eventually Erasmus will start to show the features of his other father."

"He already does. He has Severus' nose."

Indeed. Eras' long and slightly hooked nose sat awkwardly on his small, round head. "Before Severus heads into battle, Harry, he has a right to know. I cannot see if fair if he dies never knowing he has a son."

"I cannot...."

"Give him a reason to fight and survive. Do not let him think he's fighting for the good of others. He has no family besides Caitlin, and they have no children. And if my predictions are right, their marriage isn't going so well."

"Doesn't matter," though the idea definitely caught Harry’s attention. "I refuse-"

"Erasmus is every bit your son as it is his. I will not be the one to tell him. Nor will Remus and Sirius."

Harry cradled Eras close. "I will tell him when I am ready."

"Keeping Erasmus a secret will not-"

"He is not your son!" Harry retorted. "He is mine. Erasmus is my son."

Admitting defeat as he saw fit, Dumbledore rose from his seat and moved towards the door, making sure to not step on the abandoned toy on the floor. "All I ask of you now, Harry, is to not seek Severus out. It's been a tough few months for him. I do not think he can handle a stressful night after all that has happened."

Harry wanted to huff, but resisted the temptation. There was something deeper to Dumbledore's words. The man was always careful with what he said; he never said too much, lest he gave away the puzzle one needed to piece together with their heart. "Good night, Harry."

"G'night." Following Dumbledore department came the most overwhelming feeling of anxiety. His heart began to beat slowly, but fiercely. Very soon, this mansion would be occupied by only Snape and himself. It was like Dumbledore had set a trap and presented an inducement he knew neither could refuse. "Manipulative bastard."

HARRYPOTTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

Holding his legs against his body, Harry rocked back and forth impatiently while staring at Eras' crib. He knew Dumbledore was still within the manor, and so long as he was, he couldn’t seek out Snape. "It's been two hours." Harry thought aloud. What was the hold up?

Moving from his bed with care as to not wake his sleeping son, he then headed for the door. Upon opening it, he could hear mutterings filtering down the hall. It was impossible for Harry to ignore the argument.

A voice rose in anger. "You said he was prepared. What I dueled against in that room wasn't a duelist, and most certainly not a wizard prepared to face the Dark Lord."

"He is not yet, but through your duel with him, we became aware of what needs to be done. His mentors and I can now work on eliminating his drawbacks."

"There is hardly time for trials, Headmaster! You should have left him in my care."

Harry crept closer. Since it was obvious they were arguing about him, Harry couldn't suppress his curiosity.

"You know very well I couldn't have done that," Dumbledore's voice was weary.

"You know noth-"

A wooden panel beneath Harry creaked. Dumbledore and Snape moved around the corner to see a very guilty looking Harry standing on his tip toes braced against the wall. Dumbledore smiled fondly at Harry's attempts and Snape closed his eyes in disbelief. "Harry, if you would please return to your rooms," Dumbledore asked softly.

Harry looked like he was about to protest. Already on his last nerves, Snape barked, "Now, Potter!"

Harry hurried back, not doubting that Snape would hex him if he argued. Once Harry closed the door behind him, Dumbledore's eyes traveled to Snape. He folded his hands behind him whilst studying Snape. The last time they had spoken, it ended with a furious Severus, pleading with Dumbledore to stop interfering with his personal life. All Dumbledore had asked of Snape was to repress any emotional attachments he had for Harry. Severus Snape was married. He shouldn't have engaged himself in enrapturing a teenager's heart. Nevertheless, what will be, will be. "I've chosen a winner."

Snape's brow rose in intrigue. "Did you?"

"Yes, Severus. Given that Harry failed to demonstrate his progress, the title of victor has gone to you."

Snape voice lowered. "I see."

"You asked, what would be your reward. I'm afraid, dear boy, that I don't own the right to give you your spoils."

Quite bemused, Snape considered Dumbledore's words intently.

"And with that, all I can ask is that you weigh the consequences seriously." When Dumbledore felt that he had said all that needed to be said, he turned and walked towards the only fireplace linked to the floo network. "Good night, Severus."

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

It was nearing midnight when Harry decided there was no sense delaying the inevitable. He was going to approach Snape now that they could converse uninterrupted. Leaving his room, Harry descended from the upper hall to the kitchen. He thought he’d be alone to help himself to some liquid courage, but fate would have it another way. He could hear the crackling of fire and the bubbling of hot water. He turned the corner to see a tall, dark figure leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Why are you awake at this hour?" Snape asked wearily.

Instead of making up some creative answer, Harry settled with the common excuse. "I couldn't sleep."

Snape's face was free from any expression. "How unfortunate." The teapot began to whistle. Snape turned off the flames then asked, "Will you have some tea?" He didn’t wait for Harry's answer as he began pouring hot water into a second cup.

Well, this was unusual, Harry thought as he nodded.

"If you're hoping for caffeine, there isn't any in this bloody place. We'll just have to settle for chamomile."

Great. It wasn't the liquid courage Harry had hoped for, but it calming effects were preferred to alcohol's reckless consequences and depression slope. After Snape had prepared his tea, Harry waited patiently on the other side of the table for Snape to move aside before he approached the offered beverage. "It isn't poisoned," said Snape as he moved into the other room.

Skeptically, Harry took the mug into his hands and examined at the yellow liquid. He inhaled and sighed. He didn't think he'd have the chance to confront the most obstinate wizard in the world. Now, he would tackle the man with nothing more than chamomile running his system. So very promising. Maybe a few sugar cubes would cancel the calming effects out.

Curiously, Harry looked over his shoulder, but Snape wasn't there. Perhaps the man retried to his rooms. Turning off the stove light, Harry headed into the drawing room. It was dark, illuminated only by moonlight. Preoccupied with jumbled up words he wanted to express to Snape, Harry didn't notice the figure hidden in the shadows until he spoke, "Care to join me?"

Freezing in place, Harry looked at Snape's silhouette and then took his seat opposite Snape. Nothing was heard save the sipping and swallowing of tea. The room was so quite, Harry’s ears began to ring. Harry needed to start a conversation with the man. Anything would do. "Professor?"

The moonlight hit Snape's lips just enough for Harry to make out a painful cringe.

Harry called out again, "Pro-"

"I am not your professor anymore, Potter," Snape interjected with a sneer, though Harry was unsure if the sneer was directed at Harry or the face that he was no longer Harry's professor.

He hesitated before he said, "Then wha-"

"We've known each other intimately, Harry. Call me by my name." If the aura was not already stiff, Snape's comment just intensified it tenfold.

The moonlight didn't touch Harry's cheeks, but Snape didn't need to see Harry's face in order to know the young man was blushing. When Harry spoke again, it was thick with distinctive need. "Severus."

Snape took his gaze away from the mug and fixed it on Harry. There were so many words Harry could've used to describe that expression behind those obsidian eyes. They seemed to be calculating… weighing the inevitable. They were longing for something, yet they were unsure. There was malice behind those eyes, but also something stronger. Before Harry could read too much into them, Snape cut him off. "It's late. You should go to bed."

Any sense of self restraint left Harry. Fuck it. Harry got up, moved around the table centered between the two couches and joined Snape on the loveseat. He sat closely, trying his hardest not to look intimidated. He had to do this. He needed to talk to Snape, but as he opened his mouth, Snape inquired, "I thought Dumbledore told you to stay away from me."

"He told me a lot of things... warned me actually. But am I ever one to sit and obey?"

Snape chuckled. "I can recall a time or two."

Harry whimpered then shook his head as his way of blocking off Snape's comment. "What did Dumbledore tell you?"

"He addressed me," Snape turned to look at Harry and he whispered in his low, relentlessly velvety voice, "to keep my grubby hands off his innocent, golden boy."

Snape seemed to have this conversation heading exactly where he wanted to go. His fingers brushed Harry's cheeks then pulled slowly away. He leaned in and Harry almost closed his eyes with the promise of a kiss, but Snape’s lips never met his. Instead, the man rose and swept towards the stairs. "He warned me. If I ever touch you again… there would be dire consequences." Snape's confession sounded more like sarcasm. "I am curious to see if these proclaimed consequences can hold their own against you." He was just beckoning Harry.

Perhaps this sudden feedback had something to do with what Dumbledore had promised. "Severus?"

Snape paused then looked over his shoulder at Harry.

Harry quickly rose, leaving his tea in pursuit of Snape. "He said something about your spoils."

"What about them?"

"He said he didn't have the right to give them to you."

"I suppose he mentioned something as such," Snape tried to dismiss the subject.

Harry caught up with Snape and reached out to grab onto Snape’s sleeve. He cried out, "What did he mean?" Snape's head looked over his shoulder at the young man. Though Snape said he hadn't a clue, his eyes admitted his lie. "Did he leave us here alone for a reason?"

Even if Snape had an idea, it was still too early to make an inference. "I've been trying to comprehend the old man's ways for decades. Even now I still cannot understand his methods. Albus does not wish to see us as anything more than friends at best, Harry. Maybe he wishes for us to settle something."

"Or resolve what started this," Harry hissed.

Something in Snape snapped. Taking Harry's arm in his hand, Snape pulled the man sharply and then threw him into a random room. He closed the door behind them. "What started this, Potter, was your inability to suppress your desires two years ago!"

"You tempted me in my bedroom! You wouldn't stop until you had answers!"

"You would not stop ogling me. I wanted answers!"

"Wasn't it obvious? I wanted you! You didn't have to persist!"

"No one wants someone like me, Potter, unless you are a glutton for punishment." Snape furtively tapped the knob of the door with his wand.

"And bloody hell, all you've been since day one is trouble!"

"I never wanted a relationship with you! Did you forget who blackmailed whom?"

Harry fisted Snape's robes. "Then why did you keep bringing me back? You didn't even want me to look at someone whilst I was with you. You told me you wouldn't give me kisses if I agreed to see that girl. Then you disappeared... and then you were married! I cannot even begin to communicate the pain I felt... or the betrayal I felt of having lost you."

"Harry...." In that moment, Snape wondered why he had ever let Harry go... or if he even had.

"Even after... you still sought me out... you kept bringing me back, kissing me, then Christmas, you fucked me. Again and again and told me you wanted to make me yours. I cannot forget... How can you possibly say it's entirely my fault when you've taken a huge part in this mess?! Even now... look at us...."

Harry's lower lip quivered. He longed to feel Snape's lips against his again. He needed to feel the man's arm around him. He hungered for the older wizard's affection. Even if they were not given of pure love, they were wanted more than anything.

"We cannot continue this childish fantasy of yours, Harry."

Harry's bit his lower lip in rage. He had wanted to hold back his retort, but what he said instead was, "This is more than just a childish fantasy, Severus! Don't you understand? I l-"

Severus' hand covered Harry’s mouth swiftly before such precious words could be uttered. "Shhh," Snape pressed forwards and whispered into Harry's ears. "This is neither the time nor place."

Harry slapped Snape's hand away, "Then when?! Our days are limited! I won't have another chance!"

"I am married."

"Like you give a fuck! You've been married though everything! You were married when you took advantage of my feelings! Are you confused? Or are you just greedy?"

Snape clenched his eyes shut, not out of shame, but guilt.

"Why did you marry Caitlin? Why? And why didn't you tell me?"

"Harry... it's complicated."

"No it's not!" Harry shook his head, feeling the tears burning his eyes. "You married her because she looked like my mother! You married her because she had our eyes!"

"I married her because she was a woman. I married her because she could bare children."

Harry buried his face in Snape's robes. He inhaled and then cried aloud. His fists clenched tighter. His knuckles whitened. "I gave you everything. I wanted to be your everything. I am more than capable of bearing children with you." We have a son.... "Caitlin has not given you any children."

Harry felt Snape's hands running up behind his back. "But you are off limits, Harry. Right now, your only priority should be defeating Voldemort. And if you survive this, you deserve someone better."

"No one... can replace you. Yes, you've hurt me, but you are the only one that can heal those wounds." Harry looked up, just as Snape descended upon him. "Despite all you've done, I still want only you...."

As Snape descended, he rearranged them gruffly so Harry's back slammed against the door, trapped between the cold wooden panel and Snape's warm frame. Harry's head hit the door with a thump, but Harry's didn't have a chance to register the pain as Snape's lips captured his, demanding his attention with upmost urgency. Snape's lips burned against his, and Harry could only whimper and pant as his lips and body melted with Snape's. "Harry," he whispered into that hungry mouth. He sucked Harry's lower lip between his teeth and bit down. Harry moaned and ran his hands up through Snape's hair, drawing Snape closer. Their kissed turned wild. Subtle touches would not do it for Snape this time.

Before Harry knew where he wanted to take this, Snape began hastily ripping at his clothing, and in a matter of seconds, Harry was half naked with Snape gripping at his hips, pulling him forwards against his front. Harry wrapped his thighs around Snape’s waist while trapping Snape's lip between his. Snape bucked his hips. "Ah!"

Snape's erection pressed against Harry's, and in the throws of passion, he rubbed up against his young lover with wild abandon. Harry pulled away finally; he gasped and clawed Snape's back. His mind spun, his breathing became more rapid. He didn't want to stop. Snape couldn't stop. He pressed Harry onto the bed and covered his body with his own.

Than suddenly, everything slowed down. Snape caressed Harry's tongue with his softly; he moved his lips against Harry's thoroughly. "I want to make love with you, Harry."

"Then love me," Harry whispered as the last of their clothing fell to the floor.

Harry arched and cried out, Snape folded against Harry and bit onto his shoulder. "Harry," he purred as they rutted their hips together in union. They continued this frantic rubbing until Harry's thrusting became more erratic. He held Harry tightly, until he felt Harry's climax vibrate though his body. Snape came after him shortly, biting his tongue back before he said something he might regret.

Harry continued to pant. His mind was spinning, his body was shaking. He held onto Snape, not quite sure how he allowed what had just happened to transpire. This was never supposed to happen... ever again. What will be, will be. Harry looked over at Snape. The man's face was wet with sweat. He was panting too, though his eyes were closed. "Severus...."

When Snape's eyes did open, they were full of apprehension. "Harry, I fear I can never let you go."

A/N: Thank you for reading and please review.