Pranksters In Love

Lucius was immobilized. He couldn’t move any part of his body. He was lying on the cold wet ground thinking about how undignified it was for a Malfoy to be treated in such a manner. Malfoy’s were not body bound and left in the mud unattended! How dare this disgusting giant think he could get away with treating him in such a manner? If he could speak he would give him a tongue-lashing and a piece of his mind!

He kept going over and over in his mind why that damn giant had abducted him. What was it that he wanted? Why would he even show up at the Manor for Draco’s wedding? With the exception of Potter and his blood traitor friends and the Mudblood nobody else there would have even spoken to a giant. He would normally have been suspicious of them, but he had seen the shock on Potter’s face and the Mudblood wasn’t anywhere around when the giant showed up. The Weasley prat hadn’t even bothered to attend the wedding so it couldn’t have been him the giant was looking for.

He knew that his son would never have invited a giant; Malfoy’s were to far above a lowly creature such as a giant. Even with all of his strange ways and the disappointment that Draco had turned out to be, he still couldn’t see him befriending a giant. So that brought him back to square one. Why did that giant show up?

Lucius heard thunder in the distance and felt raindrops fall onto his face. “Damn!” he thought to himself. “Now it was going to fucking rain!” He wished that he could shout for the giant to move him out of the rain, but his body was still immobile. He hoped that he wouldn’t drown lying out there in the mud.

“How fitting this is, Lucius. A pig like you rolling around in the mud at my feet. Its nice to see that you have finally landed exactly where you belong.”

Lucius’ eyes flashed when he saw who was standing above him. It all made sense to him now. Rose Parkinson stood above him with her wand pointing at him. She had hated him for years, every since they had had an affair. She had purposely got pregnant to cause a rift between Narcissa and himself. He had forced her to swallow an abortificant potion and refused to see her again. He was not about to have the Malfoy line sullied with blood from such a whore.

“What’s wrong, Lucius, can’t you speak?” she giggled. “I always wanted to have you groveling at my feet, but this is even better,” she said kicking him as hard as she could in his belly.

Pain shot through him and he thought of all the ways he would make her suffer before he killed her. She was going to die when he got free. There was no mistake about that.

“I have hated you for years for what you did to me Lucius,” she said kicking him again. “I have planned and plotted for the perfect opportunity to seek my revenge against you,” she said kicking him again. This time she felt the pleasure in hearing a rib crack. “Oh, poor baby, did that hurt? Imagine what my poor baby felt like when it was viciously ripped from my body!” she screamed at him. “I will make sure that you never produce another child in this life time, Malfoy!” she screamed as her foot stomped down on his family jewels.

Lucius felt tears fall down his face. He was in excruciating pain and there wasn’t anything he could do to make it stop. He had never felt such pain, not even when his lord had Crucio’d him. He felt as though he couldn’t breath and his head was swimming. As he lost consciousness the last thing he heard was, “Gwarp is just dying to play with you, Lucius.”

Luna and Ron were sitting at the table having breakfast when the Daily Profit was delivered. Ron smiled at his beautiful bride who he was so deeply in love with and asked pleasantly, “Could I please have a look at that? I’d like to read the Quidditch scores from yesterday.”

Luna smiled at her perfect husband. She couldn’t have asked for a better spouse then him. “Sure, darling, here you go.” She said handing it to him.

Ron unfolded the paper still smiling at his wife. He looked down and gasped. “Bloody hell!”

“What’s wrong?” she asked fearing the worst. After the accident she was worried about anything else happening to upset her husband.

“Bloody bloody hell!” he said again. “Look!” he said handing the paper to his wife.

Malfoy Wedding Brings Out New Baby and Nurse!

Draco Malfoy and archenemy Harry Potter have apparently mended their ways as this reporter watched the two drink themselves into oblivion and then turn each other into a baby and a nurse. Mr. Malfoy in diapers and a nappy sucking on a bottle full of champagne was almost too much for this reporters eyes, until Mr. Potter, our so call “Savior of the Wizarding World” was dressed in a black and white mini-dress and fishnet stockings with a pain of high heels. This reporter watched as Mr. Potter tickled Mr. Malfoy with a feather duster until his new bride, Katie Bell, had to remove him. Apparently he was happy to see his new “mommy” and shouted it for the world to see. This reporter hopes to never again see such a site!

At the bottom of the page was a picture of both men in their costumes as Harry tickled Draco with the feather duster. Luna looked at her husband and smiled. “A snorkumtwister must have bitten them at the wedding. I knew we should have gone!” she said wistfully.

Ron looked at his wife and briefly thought that she was insane, but smiled at her beautiful face and said, “Wait until I see Harry!”

Harry stared at the newspaper that was slapped down in front of him. The day just kept getting worse. He briefly thought about pouring himself a fire whiskey, but decided that alcohol was no answer to today’s problems. It was what had landed him in the mess he was in now. Not only had he embarrassed himself in front of Malfoy’s guests last evening, but this morning he had callously taken the virginity of one of his friends little sisters, been caught by her father, told in no uncertain terms what a low life scum he was, told he had better plan on “making it right”, and now his face was plastered across the Wizarding world for everyone to see him in a dress. It really couldn’t get any worse.

“Did I ever tell you what sexy legs you have, mate?” Fred asked with a laugh.

“Oh now, Fred, those legs encased in the fishnet stockings was enough to get me hard for a week!” George said.

“But that feather duster, I would love for you to play with me with it,” Fred said.

“No, no, no, brother, I want Harry to play with me first,” George said.

“Do you think he would put that pretty mini dress back on?”

George smiled at his brother. “I am sure he would, but you might have to put a nappy on first.”

Harry hung his head in his lap. The day just got worse.

“Harry, could I have a moment?” he heard Arthur’s quiet voice ask.

Standing, he followed his father-in-law out of the room as he listened to the laughter of the twins. “Ask him to use the feathers on you, dad!” one of them shouted.

“Oh gods, what did I do?” he asked as he sunk down into the kitchen chair.

“I am sorry to say, you will have one hell of a time living this down.”

“If you are trying to make me feel better, you are not succeeding.”

Arthur laughed. “At this point, Harry my boy, nothing is going to make you feel better. I heard about what happened this morning.”

Harry’s eyes shot up to Arthur’s. “I am so sorry. I don’t know how it even happened.”

“I can honestly say I was shocked to hear that you were found in bed with Felicia Bell. You are the last person who I would have expected to participate in that kind of behavior so close after the death of your wife.”

Harry could tell that Arthur was disappointed in him. He wasn’t sure what to say, as he was also very disappointed in himself.

“I understand that sometimes grief takes over and you find solace where you can. Sometimes a pair of warm arms to push back the loneliness seems like a great thing at the time, but I assure you, by morning you always regret it.”

“I am getting married again, Arthur,” he said quietly.

“I know. Charles came to see me. He told me what he expected from you. I tried to talk to him but he is adamant. I think if you had been anyone else, he would have let it be after a few select words, but you are Harry Potter. I am afraid to say that most families would want you to align with theirs just because of your name. I want you to know though, that we wanted you to be apart of our family because we love you. Molly and I thought of you as our son, even before you and Ginny. I will always love you and I will always think of you as my son. Nothing will ever change that.”

Harry felt tears come to his eyes. He knew that the Weasley’s had loved him. “Not even this mornings paper?”

Arthur laughed. “I really hope that I never have to see you in a dress again!”

“I wonder what Draco is thinking about now?”


Draco stared at his wife. She had stood above him for the past five minutes screeching at him as she waved a copy of the Daily Profit around as if it were a fly swatter. She kept screaming and shouting about being publicly humiliated and how dare he ruin her wedding with his atrocious behavior. She kept talking about not only did he ruin her life, but now he had ruined her sisters also. He had no idea what she was nattering about, but he suspected it had to do with the paper.

Finally he had enough. He stood up and walked over to her. He snatched the paper out of her hand and flicked it open. He skimmed the front page and felt the blood rush out of his face as he saw the headlines and then the picture. “Oh blood fucking hell!” he thanked all the gods that his father wasn’t around to see this.

“Exactly!” his wife shouted at him as she left the room, slamming the door behind her.


Please read and review. I am interested in knowing if you like where this is going. Harry and Draco are going to become friends and Lucius is going to get a new "boyfriend" hahahaha! Gwarp is very lonely you know!