Saving your life

It had been three days since the last meeting, when they called him again, asking him to go to Grimmauld Place. They had sent a note to his house at Spinner’s End, and he wondered who knew where he lived.

As he arrived to their former headquarters, he opened the door to find just about every Order member, some of them he didn’t even know himself, waiting for him. They had placed a large table in the middle of the library, and had left one of the ends empty for him to sit.

“Please, sit,” said Kinsgsley as he entered. “We want to ask you a few questions.”

“I thought we had discussed this already,” he said, still standing and glaring around, noticing Hermione wasn’t there.

“You want back in, and we want our questions answered, so why don’t you sit down?” one of the new members said.

“Why should I care about what you want? I already told you more than you needed to know. The choice is up to you. You clearly haven’t been in the Order long enough to know how valuable the information I can provide is, and unless you start showing some respect, young man, I’m not sure you ever will,” he said, ant turned around to leave.

“Severus, please,” came Minerva’s voice from behind him. “There are some things we would like to discuss with you.”

He looked at her for a moment. She looked much older than she had the last time he’d seen her, and there was a sad tint in her eyes that certainly hadn’t been there before. If it had been anyone else’s request, he would have paid them no mind, but, with a sigh, he nodded in her direction and sat down.

“What do you want to know?”

“Was it true? What we saw in the Pensieve?” she asked softly, and he nodded. “Why didn’t he say anything? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“He asked me to keep his secret; he had his own reasons not to want his condition known by others.”

“But he should have told me, I would have found a way to help him,” she whispered, almost to herself.

“I don’t think this is the best time, or place, to discuss this, Minerva,” he said, and she nodded. He looked at the others then, waiting for them to speak.

“How did Hermione get involved in all this?” Ron asked.

“She found herself in a dangerous situation, and was saved by our mutual friend.”

“What kind of dangerous situation?” I think you should her that question, Mr Weasley.

“So you’re saying you weren’t working with her directly.”

“We were both working with the same person, but not with each other.”

“Oh, please, like a Death Eater and supposed spy would trust anyone, least of all two people.”

“I already said it before,” came a voice from the other end of the table. “She’s been the one passing information to You Know Who, and not the other way around.” A few voices agreed.

“She’s been leaving headquarters on her own a lot, especially right before Death Eater’s attacks.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Harry yelled, and everyone turned to him in surprise. “We’ve been discussing the same thing for two whole days already.” He stood up and looked pointedly at everyone in the room.

“Hermione has not betrayed us; she never would. She’s risked her life more times that I can count, to help me and everyone in the Order. She has done nothing but try to help us, always; maybe not in the best way, but that doesn’t change the fact that she did what she thought she had to do. Her information helped capture many dangerous and high ranked Death Eaters, and thanks to her contact, we’ve been ready every time they attacked. Still, you talk about her as if she’s some kind of traitor, supposedly working for someone she has fought against for the last six years, even before the war began, and a lot longer than many of you here.” He took a deep breath before continuing.

“Everyone here that knows her, would never even think what you suggest is possible. If you even think of doing something to her, anything, then I can promise you, you will have me to deal with. So if anyone here wants her out of the Order, then say it now, because I’m tired of all this senseless fighting, and if she leaves, I’m leaving too,” he finished, seriously.

“And me,” Ron said, standing up next to her friend. In the next few moments, many others stood as well, mostly the ones that had been in the Order the last few years and knew her well. He was surprised at this, but what could he expect, he asked himself, from a bunch of Gryffindors? Well, at least they had saved him the trouble of defending her himself…

“If that is all, I will be leaving,” he said, breaking the tension as he got up. “I trust the information I provided during the last meeting was useful,” he said, looking at Kingsley, who nodded.

“What? What information?” some of the voices asked, but he was already on his way out.

He spent the rest of that day, and most of the next one, at headquarters with the other Death Eaters. Bellatrix Lestrange was in charge of the break out from Azkaban, and they were ordered to help her. After her husband had been captured by the Order, she had spent most of her time thinking up ways to get him out, and now, with the Dementors finally joining the Dark Lord, it seemed she finally had her chance.

She blamed Severus for what had happened to Rodolphus, claiming it had been his information that had led to the attack, during which he was captured, and so she tried to turn the Dark Lord, and every other Death Eater, against him. She did her best to blame everything that went wrong on him, trying to convince everyone that would listen, that he was a traitor, really working for the Order all this time. She had no idea how much truth her words held.

He was tired of her attacks, of her mocking, of her making fun of his relationship with “the little witch”, and so when he received another message from the Order, one asking him to meet them again, he didn’t even hesitate.

“Why did you want to meet here?” he asked Kingsley as he reached the door to the Leaky Cauldron.

“Follow me,” the man simply said, and walked into Diagon Alley.

“Where are we going?” Severus asked, after a few minutes, knowing the answer already.

“To our new headquarters. If you are going to be a part of the Order again, you need to know where we meet.”

“So you finally decided to let me in again.”

“Like we had any choice,” Kingsley answered, and kept walking.

“It’s here,” he said, as they stepped in front of the building he already knew well. “Some of the members live here, the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione, and Remus sometimes. The rest of us just come for the meetings.”

“There aren’t many wards around it.”

“If they were trying to attack us, they wouldn’t make much difference, not against powerful wizards. These are mostly for basic protection; the place does look like simple ruins to everyone, after all, so it doesn’t draw much attention. Come in now, and keep quiet, everyone’s asleep.”

He walked inside and followed Kingsley into the Kitchen, where Remus was waiting for them at the table.

“Severus,” he said, nodding, as he walked in.

“Lupin,” he greeted back and sat down with the other wizards. “So, why am I here?”

“I’ve heard rumours among the werewolves.”

“What kind of rumours?”

“Apparently, your Master has been sending them on increasingly dangerous missions, and they are not as happy as they used to be.”

“You mean he has been sending them on suicide missions,” Severus corrected.

“So it’s true,” Remus muttered, and when Severus nodded he continued, “Why?”

“He claims he won’t waste powerful wizards in those missions, when he can send half-breeds.”

“Fenrir is getting tired of it. He looks after his pack, and doesn’t like them being killed for no reason. He’s actually reconsidering his support to the Dark Lord.”

“He would never join the light side. He enjoys killing too much, and knows he wouldn’t be allowed to do it if he switched sides,” Severus said.

“But some of the others might. And even if they didn’t, they would help us just by being neutral.”

“And what does this have to do with me?” he asked, not seeing why they had taken him there to discuss it.

“If you convinced your Master to send more werewolves on those kinds of missions, if more got killed, then it would speed things up. Maybe Fenrir,” he said, but was interrupted by someone opening the kitchen door.

The three of them turned as one towards the entrance, shocked to find Hermione standing there, barely dressed. After she left, they kept discussing the werewolves, but Severus was barely paying attention, too busy thinking about her.

A few hours later, after he was sure everyone was asleep or gone, he went to her bedroom, not caring if anyone saw him; he just wanted to be with her, to touch her, to feel her.

The next morning, he woke when he felt the Dark Mark on his arm burn. They had spent hours together, his sore muscles proof of that, but nothing a few potions couldn’t fix.

His Master was quickly becoming impatient, wanting to know if he had any news from the Order, but Severus decided he would make him wait a bit longer. He still had to come up with an excuse for not being able to get the prisoners sent to Azkaban, so he told him he would meet the Order again that afternoon, and they would then tell him what they had decided.

After spending the entire morning working with Bellatrix, trying to find all the weak spots in her plans to tell the Order, he finally left to his place, writing Hermione a message, asking her to meet him there as soon as she could.

“I heard they’re letting you back in,” she said, smiling, as she entered.

“So it seems.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“It will make passing information a lot easier.”

“You told Kingsley you didn’t want me involved in all this anymore,” she said, looking hurt for a moment.

“It’s dangerous, and there’s no need for you to be exposed.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have bothered; I’m leaving anyway.”

“Leaving? Where?”

“Ron and Harry are leaving, they will go search for the Horcruxes, and I’m going with them,” she said, her eyes locked on his, as if trying to read his reaction.

“What? That’s stupid!” he said, his suddenly angry. “They have the potion I gave you to find the Horcruxes, why would they ever go on a wild hunt, when they don’t even know what they’re looking for?”

“We have a few clues. We will be visiting Godric’s Hollow first, and then we’ll decide where to go next.”

“And what will happen when the Dark Lord discovers you are running around unprotected? He will send every man after you. You will all be dead before you even manage to find a single Horcrux.”

“We’ve faced him before, and we can do it again. We can take care of ourselves.”

“You are not powerful enough yet; you won’t stand a chance. You have to stay here, where you are safe,” he said, moving closer to her.

“Stop trying to lock me up, to keep me away from danger. I’m not a child, and I’m sick of being treated like one.”

“I know you’re not a child, I’m just trying to keep you safe. No matter how much you’ve seen, you have no idea what it really is like out there, living your life like this, not knowing if you’ll live to see another day. There’s more to war than you have seen, and things you should never know.” They both stayed in silent for a few moments, looking at each other, and then he stepped closer to her, cupping her face in his hand.

“You deserve a better life,” he whispered softly, and then leaned closer, his lips almost touching her. He felt her lean closer and close her eyes, and the he said, “Don’t go.”

“I have to,” she said, her eyes still closed, her lips slightly parted.

“No. You can stay.”

“I can’t leave them alone,” she whispered, shaking her head slightly.

“They can take care of themselves,” he said, his other hand on her hips, but still not kissing her.

“We have to do this together, the three of us.”

“They don’t need you,” he said, and she suddenly pulled back.

“They don’t need me? Is that what you think?” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “Why should I stay? What’s here for me?” she asked, and he wasn’t sure what she wanted him to answer.

“This is just business, remember? Why do you even care what happens to me? I’m nothing but entertainment,” she said, turning around and hurriedly walking to the door.

“Wait,” he said, but she didn’t stop.

“Don’t leave,” he said softly, and watched her pause, take a deep breath, and turn to him again.

“I have to,” she answered as he moved closer. “We are leaving tonight, and I still have things to do before then.”

“There’s plenty of time,” he said, his lips ghosting up her neck, and he felt her shiver.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

Without giving her more time to think, he took her arm and pulled her closer to him, his other hand cupping her face as he slowly kissed her lips, feeling her body relax in his arms. After a few moments, he stepped back, pulling her with him, never breaking the kiss as he slowly made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom.

He carefully lowered her onto the bed, covering her body with his, kissing her softly as he slowly undressed her, his lips caressing every bit of skin as it was revealed. His moves were slow, his caresses gentle as he moved down her body, softly teasing her with his hands and lips.

“Need you,” she moaned, her fingers in his hair, pulling him up for a kiss.

Her hands travelled down his chest, undoing his shirt hastily, sending some of the buttons flying. For some reason, he wanted to take his time, to make it last as long as he could. Moving her hands away, he slowly undressed himself, not missing her heated stare as he did it.

He leaned on top of her again finally feeling her skin against his as he slowly slid inside of her.

It felt like heaven, her tight heat surrounding him, her hands on his shoulders, pulling him down, closer to her. He started moving, but his thrusts were long and slow, his lips softly kissing her neck as they both moaned.

He could feel her breathing raggedly, as he slowly built the tension up.

“Harder, please,” she moaned, and he felt her muscles contracting around him, but he kept the same pace, riding her first orgasm, and then the second one.

“Oh fuck,” she moaned, and her back arched as she tried to push him deeper, make him move faster.

“Do watch your language, Miss Granger,” he chuckled, keeping the same slow rhythm, and was surprised when she started laughing. “What is it that you find so amusing?” he asked, rising a single eyebrow, and stopping his movements.

“Miss Granger,” she said, and laughed harder. He frowned, and she seemed to calm down long enough to explain. “It’s funny, after all we’ve been through, after this,” she said, looking down at their joined bodies, and blushing slightly, “you still call me Miss Granger,” she said, starting to laugh again.

“And how should I call you?” he asked then seductively, his lips by her ear, his hands caressing her breasts.

“How about Hermione?” she suggested.

“Hermione,” he whispered in a husky voice, and she moaned loudly, arching against him again.

“And do I still have to call you Professor?” she asked, smirking as she tightened her inner muscles around his erection, making him groan.

“I guess you could call me by my name, as well,” he said, after a few moments.

“Severus,” she moaned. “What are you waiting for?” she asked then, locking her legs around his waist and sinking her nails in his back.

He moaned at the feeling, and had to fight hard to control himself. After a few more minutes of the same slow rhythm, he heard her groan and then, in a swift motion, flip them over, so that she was now on top of him.

“Better,” she breathed, and then leaned back into a sitting position, sending him deeper inside of her. “Feel so good,” she said, and started moving up and down faster.

He watched her, mesmerized, for a few moments, the expression of bliss on her face as the rhythm increased, and then leaned closer, his lips nibbling and kissing her neck, his hands playing with her breasts as she rode him harder and faster.

Soon her body was tightening around him again, only this time he couldn’t hold back, both of them moaning loudly as they reached their climax together.

He fell back, exhausted, his arms around her waist as she rested on top of him, both panting but satisfied. After a few moments, he felt her move again, trying to roll to the side, but he tightened his arms around her, keeping her were she was.

He felt her move her arms to either side of him, trying to get more comfortable, her head resting on his chest, and he moved his fingers lazily up and down her back, caressing her soft skin and making her shiver. He was far too comfortable to move, and didn’t want to let her go.

He woke up startled when he felt the Mark on his arm burn, again. He was lying on his back, Hermione next to him, her arm around his waist and her head resting on his shoulder. Not wanting to wake her up, he carefully slid out of bed and reached for his clothes.

“What’s going on?” she asked sleepily, and turned to face him, clearly uncomfortable when she saw him getting dress, probably thinking he was trying to sneak out.

“The Dark Lord is calling. Stay here,” he said, as she started to get up, “I’ll be back soon.”

“But I’m leaving tonight. I have to get ready,” she mumbled.

“There’s still plenty of time. Just wait here,” he repeated, and then leaned closer to her and kissed her softly before leaving.

“Master,” he said, bowing, as he arrived to headquarters.

“You said you were meeting the Order today.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“What is their decision?”

“They seem to believe what I said. Some of them still don’t trust me, but they will let me back into the Order.”

“Good, this will prove to be extremely helpful. You will be rewarded for this, Severus.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“I told you I wanted my Death Eaters taken to Azkaban soon, have you discussed it with the Order yet?”

“I have, Master, but they seem reluctant to do so. They are keeping them in separate places, for security reasons.”

“Then insist; I need them moved there soon.”

“Yes, Master,” he said bowing, and turned to leave.

“Oh, and Severus,” Voldemort said then, and he turned to face him again, noticing the evil glint in his eyes. “The witch, I want her taken care of.”

He had feared something like this would happen, but still felt his heart beat faster, his mind reeling, trying to find a way out of it. “May I ask why, Master?”

“She knows too much, she could be dangerous. I heard she is dear to Potter. I want him to remember he will lose everything if he stands against me.”

“But, Master, they have just taken me back into the Order; the girl’s death would be suspicious. If something happened to her, they would know I was involved, and we would lose the opportunity to spy on them.”

“Then make it look like an accident, I don’t care. She is a liability; it is time for her to die.”

“Master, if…”

“No, Severus,” he interrupted, his eyes flashing angrily. “I want this done, and I want you to do it. Now go,” he ordered, and with a wave of his hand, the door banged open.

Back in Ireland, he searched his books for hours, and finally made a decision.

Soft footsteps down the stairs made him lift his eyes from the pages he had been intently reading for at least half an hour, and he almost sighed when he saw her walk into the library, her hair wild and a white silk bed sheet loosely wrapped around her body. He watched her visibly relax when she saw him, lowering her wand as she smiled warmly.

“You’re back,” she said, standing by the door. When he didn’t answer she continued, “I was scared something had happened to you.”

“There’s no need to be scared,” he muttered as she walked closer.

“What are you doing?” she asked, smiling and trying to see what he was reading.

“Research.”

“At these hours?” she asked, frowning.

“The Dark Lord knows I’m back in the Order,” he said seriously, and walked to where she was standing.

“So?”

“He thinks you are dangerous to him, that you know too much.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked, and he could see a flash of fear cross her eyes, but it was gone in an instant.

“He doesn’t want to risk me being exposed as a spy.”

“But I would never.”

“I know,” he interrupted. “He doesn’t care.”

“But… what…?” she mumbled, confused, her eyes darting from him to the books he had been reading.

“He told me to take care of it,” he said, and watched her eyes go back to him, wide with shock.

“You can’t,” she muttered, and stepped back.

“Hermione,” he said, reaching his hand to cup her face, but she stepped back again.

“But I’m leaving with Ron and Harry, I won’t even be around the Order,” she pleaded.

“It doesn’t matter,” he answered sadly.

“You can’t, please, you can’t do this to me,” she whispered, as tears welled up in her eyes. “There has to be another way.”

“There isn’t,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Please, Severus,” she muttered, stepping closer to him and lifting her hand to his face, her fingers caressing his jaw as he leaned in to her touch.

“Everything will be alright,” he said, and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. “You deserve better than this,” he muttered, almost to himself.

“No,” she sobbed, shaking her head against his shoulder and tightening her arms around her.

“It’s your chance to get away from all this; your chance to have a better life.”

“What if I don’t want to get away?” she whispered, lifting her face to look at him.

Like in a trance, he slowly leaned down, kissing her softly, knowing it would be the last time. He would never have this witch in his arms again, never would see her eyes shine when she saw him, as much as she tried to hide it. So many things had been left unsaid, so many undone, but it was too late. He would do what he had to, protect her in any way he could, and make sure this time she stayed away from this kind of life, the dangers of working with spies such as himself. He would take care of her, but from afar.

After what felt like hours, he finally broke the kiss, and stepped back.

“It’s time,” he said, as he softy caressed her face.

“What will happen now?”

“You don’t have to worry,” he said.

“I will miss you,” she smiled, sadly.

“No, you won’t,” he answered, and lifted his wand.

“I love you,” she said softly, and a second later, a flash of red light left his wand and hit her. He held her body close for a moment, breathing in her sent, trying to commit it to memory, and whispered, “I love you, too,” by her ear, knowing she couldn’t hear him.

He carefully lay her down on the couch before going back to his desk to retrieve the book he had been reading. Going through the instructions one last time, he took a deep breath and cleared his mind, all his concentration needed as he took the first steps of the complicated and powerful Memory Charm.