A Living Secret ~ COMPLETED

Chapter 30 ~ Another Pressing Problem

As Ron walked across the grounds with the silent Aurors, he thought about the conversation he had with Ginny in his room that morning before he went to Minerva’s office. Ginny had skived off her first class to talk with him. Everyone had been surprised to see him back and tried to find out what happened, but he couldn’t tell anyone. Hermione’s handprint had been a topic of discussion.

“I bet he tried to put the moves on her and she wasn’t having it,” Lavender said spitefully to Parvati, “I bet that’s why he came back from wherever they went. She wouldn’t shag him and slapped him.”

There were other theories as well. Left to their own imaginations, people could come up with the strangest things.

Ginny was able to go into Ron’s room. The protections in Gryffindor house were decidedly sexist. The girls could enter the boys’ dormitories, but the boys were stopped from entering the girls’ rooms by a staircase that turned into a slippery slide any time a male tried to ascend them, the only exceptions being staff members.

“Ginny, I caught Hermione with someone,” Ron told his sister immediately.

Ginny’s brown eyes rounded.

“With who? Where?” Ginny asked.

Ron shook his head.

”I can’t tell you who…or where,” he said miserably.

Ron wasn’t having trouble telling Ginny this, because she wasn’t a threat to Harry in any way, and would never reveal a confidence to anyone. So the oath didn’t react.

Ginny felt her stomach tighten.

“It…it wasn’t Harry was it?” she asked, her voice trembling.

Gods, she hoped not. Hermione and Harry were friends, almost like brother and sister…but being in a dangerous situation can make other feelings come out. They could have turned to each other for comfort.

”Oh no, Ginny. It wasn’t Harry,” he said, “It was someone else.”

Ginny let out a little sigh of relief. She and Harry weren’t together now, but she hoped one day they could start another relationship…after Harry did what he had to do. She loved him. She looked at her brother. Ron’s eyes were glistening. She sat down on the bed next to him and covered her hand with his.

“What did you see, Ron?” she asked him.

Ron looked at his sister.

“She was…she was shagging him, Ginny. I saw it with my own eyes,” he said in a quiet voice.

”Oh Ron…I’m so sorry,” she said, blinking rapidly. Poor Ron.

”I thought she really cared about me, Ginny,” he said, “I thought she loved me and was just mad at me. I didn’t know…”

”Ron, I’m going to tell you something. You probably aren’t going to like it, but I’m going to tell you anyway. You need to hear it…so try not to get mad and fly off the broomstick,” Ginny said evenly.

Ron nodded.

“Go ahead. Tell me,” he said.

“I never thought you and Hermione belonged together, Ron. You were both too different. I know they say opposites attract, but I couldn’t see it with you and her. Hermione is so into reading, learning, experimenting, discovering things. She’s smart, Ron and will end up being a Master at some art. Spells or maybe Potions. She’s a brain, Ron. You aren’t.”

”What? You’re saying I’m not smart enough for her?” Ron asked his sister angrily.

”No Ron. I’m not saying that exactly. You are a down-to-earth wizard. You like Quidditch, flying, doing fun things. Your idea of fun is not sitting in the library with a ten foot pile of books next to you, browsing through them. Hermione’s is. It’s like…it’s like you two only went out because you were around each other all the time…like it was convenient. You were friends, Ron and I think, I think Hermione only went out with you because you kept after her that way and would sulk and give her a hard time about other wizards,” she said softly.

“That’s not true,” Ron said.

“Listen Ron. Hermione and I were friends. Not as close as you and Harry but we did talk and I got to know her. Ron, Hermione needs someone who is either as smart or smarter than her. Someone who can understand what she’s talking about when she discusses magic, facts and theories. Someone who can give her a decent conversation, challenge her. Ron, as sweet as you can be, you can’t do that for her. And she doesn’t care about Quidditch or any of the things you like. I don’t even think she wants children, Ron…and we’re Weasleys. You know what that means…” she said to her brother.

Yes. It meant a household full of children with a stay-at-home mum to watch over them while he worked. Somehow, Ron couldn’t see Hermione in an apron, carrying a baby in one arm while she cooked dinner and yelled at the kids. She wasn’t like Molly at all, except maybe her vindictiveness when angry. Then his mind turned to Snape, lecturing, teaching potions, giving assignment and Hermione eating up everything he said as she sat attentively in the front row scribbling notes furiously.

Was that it? Was Hermione so attracted to Snape because he was intelligent? Smart?

Ginny left him with a lot to think about.

****************************************

Harry and Hermione sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Hermione kept her eyes on her cereal as Harry looked at her from time to time. He had questions, and they needed to be answered.

”Hermione, why? Why Snape? Did you plan last night?” he asked her, “You turned eighteen. Did you plan to have sex with him like…like giving a birthday present to yourself?”

Hermione looked up at Harry, reddening.

”No, I didn’t plan it, Harry. It just happened,” she said softly.

”How can something like that ‘just happen,’ Hermione?” he asked her.

Hermione sighed. She might as well tell Harry the truth. He would think she was sick but at least he’d know.

”Harry, I had a huge crush on Professor Snape that started in my sixth year. I don’t know what happened, but I started dreaming about him, fantasizing about him,” she began.

“Ewww,” Harry said, his nose wrinkling up, “Sounds more like nightmares than dreams from where I’m sitting,” he replied.

Hermione scowled at him.

“Anyway, I kept journals of each year at Hogwarts,” she continued, “and…and somehow the Professor got hold of them. And read them…”

Harry stared at her.

“Don’t tell me you wrote about him in your journals,” he said in disbelief.

“My sixth year journal was almost all fantasies about him, Harry…in explicit detail,” she said in a low voice, “I just had to get them out of my head or I felt I wouldn’t be able to think straight. It was so terrible Harry, because I never believed anything would happen between us,” she said.

Harry stared at her a moment, then he asked, “You were writing about him when you were with Ron?”

”Yes,” she admitted softly.

“So Snape read those journals without you knowing it,” Harry asked her for clarification.

”Yes. He gave them back to me after we met the second time. He handed them to me miniaturized in a bag and told me not to look in it until after he left. I was horrified Harry. So embarrassed that he knew…everything,” she said.

“That’s why you were so nervous the first time he met with me. It was the first time you saw him after learning about his reading your journals,” Harry said.

Hermione nodded.

Harry could only imagine how she felt knowing the meanest, snarkiest wizard in the world knew she dreamed about fucking him. And in detail. Gods. Harry shook his head.

“What happened in the living room?” he asked her, “when I left you two alone?”

”He asked me wasn’t I going to yell at him about the journals, then said I had no courage when I didn’t want to talk about them…then he said some other things,” Hermione said, trembling a little when she remembered the wizard started coming toward her, his eyes hot.

“Things like what?” Harry asked her curiously.

”Things I had written in the journal…he used them against me when I said for him not to touch me. I don’t know if he were going to touch me until I said that. I think I made him angry,” Hermione said.

“That’s not hard to do. He’s always angry anyway. But what is it, Hermione? What could possibly attract you to him? He’s mean as a snake, ugly and doesn’t seem to care about anyone,” Harry said.

“I don’t think he’s ugly, Harry,” Hermione said, “His face has…character.”

Harry looked at her, then took off his glasses and offered them to her.

”Here. You need these more than I do,” he said with a grin.

Hermione slapped the glasses away and Harry put them back on.

”What happened that night, Hermione?” Harry asked her.

Hermione turned a bright, bright red.

”Harry, I can’t tell you that…it’s…it’s too personal,” she said, not wanting to tell Harry she had been masturbating when the Professor appeared in her room.

“At least tell me how he got into your room?” he asked her, “Did he come here on purpose? For you?”

Hermione shook her head.

”I don’t know. He…he spoke to me and I thought it was part of…of a dream, and I spoke back to him…like…like it was one of my fantasies. I didn’t know he was really in my room at first, Harry. Then I realized he was. He told me…he told me he wasn’t the wizard that I fantasized about…and I told him I’d accept the man he was,” she said, looking away from Harry.

Harry blinked at her. That certainly sounded like an invitation.

”And so you shagged him,” Harry finished for her.

”Yes,” she said softly, and Ron came in just as we finished and attacked him. You know the rest.”

Both of them fell into silence for a few minutes.

“Harry, I couldn’t help I didn’t feel about Ron the way I felt about the Professor. I wasn’t with Ron when this happened. Do you think I’m a terrible person?” she asked him, a tremor in her voice.

Harry shook his head.

“No. I just think you let your fantasies about Professor Snape take over, Hermione. He was there, so you acted on them. But…but how do you feel now? Now that you’ve done it?” he asked her.

”If not for the way Ron reacted, I think I’d be happy I got to experience him. He said that it wouldn’t be a relationship, Harry. He said it was a weak but beautiful moment for him. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do it. I told him I did…so…” she said, her voice faltering.

Harry studied Hermione.

“So where does it go now, Hermione? Snape isn’t in love with you, you know that don’t you?” he said to her.

Hermione nodded.

”He was never in love with me in my fantasies either, Harry. It was…was…just sexual. I don’t have any illusions about him, but…but he was much gentler in real life than in my fantasies. I didn’t feel used by him. I don’t think it will happen again, especially with the way it ended.”

”Would you want it to happen again?” Harry asked her.

“Yes,” Hermione admitted.

Harry shook his head.

”I don’t know what to tell you, Hermione, except that because of this…we’ve lost Ron as a friend. I don’t know if he can recover from this one. He’s hurt,” Harry said.

Hermione frowned.

”If Ron would just accept things instead of trying to change them, he wouldn’t feel that way Harry. He needs to accept I care about him as a friend, and a friend only. He wouldn’t be hurt if he would just do that,” she said.

“You know Ron, Hermione. He has a problem with just accepting things. But he’s a good sort…and now, he’s in danger. What can we do?” he asked her.

“All we can do now Harry is work on destroying the Horcruxes, then Voldemort. Ron’s back at Hogwarts, but I’m sure he’s going to be careful. He doesn’t want to die,” Hermione said.

“But what happens if Voldemort gets him?” Harry asked her, knowing the answer would be Ron would most likely be killed.

“Maybe Professor Snape would find a way to stall his death, or save him somehow,” Hermione said.

Harry shook his head doubtfully.

”I don’t think he will. He warned me so you two would remove yourselves from danger. Ron just walked right back into it. Snape will say that whatever he gets, it will be his own fault,” Harry said.

Hermione thought Harry might be right. The Professor wouldn’t see that his fucking Hermione had anything to do with Ron’s stupid decision, or take any responsibility for it. And actually, it wasn’t his fault.

”Well, we’ll just have to do what we can, Harry,” Hermione said, thinking about the Horcruxes. She let out a little gasp as she realized something.

“Harry…the only two Horcruxes left are the Sorting Hat and…and Voldemort’s snake, Nagini!” she said, “That means that you are going to have to go into the Dark Lord’s stronghold! Oh my gods!”

”I’m going to have to go back to Hogwarts too. I don’t think Voldemort will send Snape out for Horcruxes anymore because he knows the Sorting Hat is safe and Nagini is in his stronghold,” Harry said, his belly tightening.

Hermione stared at Harry. This realization just upped the ante. Professor Snape was probably figuring out how to get Harry into Voldemort’s lair. This meant that the Sorting Hat’s Horcrux had to be destroyed soon, because once Harry destroyed Nagini, he would have to face Voldemort. Both things would have to be done at the same time.

“Harry, we’ve got to destroy the Horcrux at Hogwarts,” Hermione said, realizing how difficult this would be now that they were both out of the school. They would have to get back into the castle and the Headmistress’ office without being detected.

Ron was there, but he was mad at them and most likely wouldn’t help them. Also, there was the distinct possiblity he was going to be closely watched, so would be a liability. They could be discovered.

“What are we going to do, Hermione? I don’t want to destroy the hat,” Harry said.

”I don’t know, Harry. We’ll have to wait for Professor Snape to visit again and talk to him. Maybe he’ll have a plan,” she said.

”I hope so,” Harry said, “and one that can save the hat as well.”

The two friends looked at each other, at a complete loss.

******************************************

Severus showed up at Harry’s house the following weekend. He greeted Harry and Hermione in his normal snarky way, showing the witch no special treatment as he sat down in the armchair in the living room, Dobby bringing him a firewhiskey. Hermione and Harry sat on the sofa across from him and watched as he finished his drink. The wizard’s dark eyes rested on them.

“Where is Mr. Weasley?” he asked.

”He went back to Hogwarts the last night you visited,” Harry replied as Hermione reddened.

“I see. He wasn’t mature enough to handle the situation he walked in on,” the dark wizard said, his eyes resting on Hermione for a moment, “That decision may cost him his life. Didn’t you two try to stop him?”

”I did, but…he was too angry to listen to reason,” Harry said.

“That’s the problem with you young people. You put too much emphasis on sex,” the wizard purred, “It is a pleasant diversion at best.”

Hermione reddened again but didn’t say anything. Snape’s comment said it all. It had just been one night. He didn’t feel anything for her at all.

“Enough about Mr. Weasley. He has made his decision. He has to deal with it. We have our own problems, Mr. Potter. I need to inform you that the Dark Lord will not be sending me out to check on the final two Horcruxes. One of them is…” he began.

“The Sorting Hat. I figured that out when Voldemort’s stone began to glow in the Headmistress’ office. I didn’t know what the Horcrux was, but Harry and I went back to identify it,” Hermione said.

“And you didn’t destroy it?” Severus hissed at them, not believing their stupidity.

”No, we didn’t,” Hermione said evenly, “Because it was before the Sorting Ceremony and there wouldn't be a way to sort the students without it. The Headmistress was having enough problems. I didn’t know I’d be leaving Hogwarts and thought we could come back to it,” Hermione said.

Severus ran his pale hand over his face.

“The last Horcrux is Nagini,” the wizard continued, “I have to find a way to get you into the stronghold, Mr. Potter, and you will have to face Voldemort as well. Kill two birds with one stone as it were…but you need to destroy the Horcrux at Hogwarts first.”

“But we don’t have a way to even get into the school, Professor. We can’t just have Filch or Hagrid let us in. We’re supposed to be in hiding,” Hermione said, “We don’t have a way to get into the castle.”

Severus looked at both of them consideringly.

”You don’t,” he said softly, “but I do.”

Hermione and Harry stared at him.

”What do you mean ‘you do’ Professor? You’re a wanted wizard…surely the protections at Hogwarts will keep you out as well,” Hermione said.

Severus smirked at her.

“Unknown to the other staff, Albus had given me a ticket so to speak. Because of how damaged I would be when I returned to Hogwarts after Voldemort’s torture, the Headmaster gave me the power to apparate in and out of my bedroom. I was the only wizard at Hogwarts who could apparate on the grounds…just into that area. Since no one knew this, I imagine that I still have that ability. I will simply have to take you in, Mr. Potter,” Severus said to Harry, whose eyes were wide.

Snape in Hogwarts? Dear gods…if anyone saw them.

“Don’t worry Mr. Potter. I have a way to disguise myself that doesn’t involve the limited use of Polyjuice potion. I will not be seen,” the wizard said.

“But…but your rooms are now occupied by Professor Matilda Hagg, Professor,” Hermione said, “She’s the new DADA teacher, and is very powerful."

Severus’ eyebrows arched.

“Did you say Matilda Hagg?” he asked the witch.

”Yes,” Hermione said, looking at the wizard with a puzzled look in her eyes.

A small smirk crossed his face.

”I don’t think she’ll be a problem,” he said obtusely, “However, I assume you know her, Miss Granger?”

”Yes, I was in her class,” Hermione said.

”Then you will come with us. We may need you to ‘reach’ her initially,” the wizard said.

Hermione fairly bounced on the sofa with excitement.

“What is it with you damn Gryffindors? Anytime you are about to go into a life-threatening situation, you become insane with joy! It’s annoying,” the Potions Master said, glowering.

Hermione stopped bouncing.

”How will you disguise yourself, Professor? Do you have an invisibility cloak?” Hermione asked him.

”No, I don’t. You will bring that battered bag you call a backpack, Miss Granger, and after we subdue Professor Hagg, you will…”

Suddenly, Professor Snape disappeared, causing Harry and Hermione to leap up from the sofa.

”Where did he go?” Harry asked. Suddenly Hermione nudged him and pointed to the floor in front of the armchair.

There coiled on the floor was a serpent about two feet long with black and white markings. It flicked its tongue at them lazily, then let out a long, rather vicious hiss that made Hermione jump as it raised a third of its length a few inches off the floor so it swayed, the snake’s sharp black eyes focused on the pair.

”I think we’ve found him, Harry,” Hermione said in a low voice.

Suddenly Severus appeared again, this time standing in front of the chair. He straightened his robes.

“After we subdue Professor Hagg, you will carry me, Miss Granger,” he said to the witch.

Hermione and Harry looked at each other. Professor Snape was an animagus. Most likely an unregistered one.

Harry studied the wizard.

It figured he would be a snake.

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A/N: Ooh, more excitement coming up. They have to tangle with Matilda eh? Severus seems to know her though. An animagus! Now who would have thought that? Lol, obviously me. That was the hidden ability I referred to earlier in the story. Well, it will come in handy. Thanks for reading.