Cracking the Gold

Author\'s Note: Bah! I didn\'t mean to leave it this long before an update, honestly!! >_< Too much going on. Lol. But, here it is!! Ang long!!

Disclaimer:: See Introduction

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After nearly five minutes, Harry twitched sharly before bolting up and trying to focus on the area around him, new tears blurring his vision as if he needed his glasses. With realization of what had happened and how close Malfoy was, he practically threw himself from the blonde\'s grasp to the other side of the bed. Gripping the sheet, he slid from the bed, wincing in the realistic pain that was embedded in his mind and covering himself, crawling backwards into a corner.


Draco\'s brow furrowed even more deeply, both hands up where Harry could see them, if he\'d known the nature of the dream, he wouldn\'t have said what he said next, but as he didn\'t know, he said, \"Harry, it was just a dream, a nightmare. It\'s alright now.\"


Harry\'s eyes were wide and trembling as he clung closer to the sheet. He felt himself almost start to believe him when a voice rang in his head. You\'re going to pass out soon...and then I\'ll have my payment and will be able to tell you this was all your imagination. You\'ll be too weak to think otherwise. Everything came crashing down on him again as he buried his head in his folded arms, tucking his legs to him. I should have known better than...than to believe he\'d catch me. He s-simply stepped aside and let me crash into the cliffs...only to revive me to see me squirm. Merlin--kill me now. \"I r-remember what-t you said Malfoy...I...I...\" He wouldn\'t admit he\'d trusted him--that sounded weak. Thought he changed? No. \"Y-your worse than Voldemort...\" Harry croaked.


He backed off at that, almost reeling, \"I\'m what?\" That had come out of the blue as far as he was concerned, \"What did I say?\"


Moving slowly, terrified of letting Malfoy catch on to what he was doing, Harry tried to slowly inch to door, or the dressers, to find as much clothes as he could to put on. If I have twenty layers--he c-can\'t... \"Y-you know. I wasn\'t that out y-yet. I can\'t believe I...Merlin. I heard you say t-that you\'d try to make this a \"dream\"...b-but it wasn\'t, and I...I\'m not weak!\"

Attempts to grab clothes failed as the dressers seemed to zap him whenever he touched them. Apparently they only liked Malfoy opening them--or possibly the house elves. Trying to keep his eye on his traitor, Harry resumed in backing into a corner, keeping his foggy mind and blurred vision warily on Malfoy. \"Clever of you t-to get rid of the b-burns...the marks...\" Sobs were starting to trail into his shoulders.


Draco\'s brow was furrowed, shaking his head, he obviously had no way to counter this, \"Harry, Harry I swear to you that it was just a nightmare.\" He pointed to the dresser where his wand still was, \"I\'ve been right here beside you the whole time, if I did any healing I would\'ve needed my wand and it\'s well out of reach.\"


Trying to focus his eyes on the stand, the gaze was quickly pried away. \"How d-do I know you can\'t do wandl-less?\" Curled into a tight ball, Harry was sitting in the same position he had been in the tub after Riddle had--. The sheet was pulled tightly against him as he was falling into sobs and wringing his wrists to ease the sheet burn he\'d received--or the \'memory\' of what he\'d received.


Draco recognized the posture at least, cringing inwardly, this was worse than he\'d thought, \"You know I can\'t Harry. Not a talent Malfoys possess.\"


\"H-how do I know that Malfoy?\" Not Draco anymore...only a fallen prince; back to Malfoy. \"How? You\'ve been training, I\'m sure. I...Merlin I thought...\" You were stupid to think he loved you like you-- I don\'t. Not anymore. I trusted him...I thought...I thought I could be happy for once but never. Merlin I hate hi-- No you don\'t. You want to, but you can\'t. You lo--Do not!--ve him, you\'re just afraid. Harry felt like he was going mental; sitting curled in a sheet, practically rocking despite the membrance of pain, fighting himself and voices in his head, the nightmare playing over and over to his spilling eyes.


Draco sighed, raking his hands through his hair, he\'d already run out of things he could say or do, not wanting to make it worse by doing something so rash as touching him.


Harry\'s head hung into his arms as he shook, feeling and wanting to just pass out. His head was spinning, and as much as he desperately wanted to believe Draco that it had been a nightmare---everything had been too realistic. Malfoy\'s touch had been the same before it had turned violent. He wanted to hide forever.


Draco sighed once more, shaking his head, \"I don\'t know what I can say to convince you Harry.\" He sounded... well, not distressed though more than concerned, \"But I wish I did.\"


I...I wish I knew...I wish I knew--could believe that you\'re t-telling the...absolute...t-truth... Harry shivered and fell nearly limp against the wall, giving into the desperate sleep his body begged for an out from everything that overwhelmed it.


Draco sighed heavily at that, shaking his head before padding over, hoisting Harry easily before tucking him gently into bed once more.


Harry seemed heavier than he usually was, but this was also a lot due to the dead weight from being either unconscious or asleep. His eyes seemed to be closed peacefully and no new tears streaking his cheeks, so it seemed he was out cold and not asleep.


Draco sighed heavily again, brushing the other man\'s hair back from his forehead before leaving a fleeting kiss there and heading off to go for a short walk.


Eyes shifted beneath the lids at the touch, not that Draco would have seen this as he would have been too close and not looking at his eyes directly. Settling into the darkness as the blonde headed off, it was nice to see the boy in a calm state for once, not even nightmares plaguing him now.


Draco was of course, trying to settle his mind, not really sure how to get past this one, since it seemed no matter what he said would be wrong


Nearly five hours had passed since Harry had slipped into his pain, and it was only now that his eyes flickered and attempted to part. It seemed that he\'d somewhere along the lines, slipped from the darkness to sleep as the surrounding mattress he was curled to was damp with drying tears. His eyes were dry and itchy, lacking the tears he wanted to shed, yet wanted to be rid of. Trembling slightly, Harry wanted to get out of the bed, since he had no recolition of how he\'d gotten there. That would mean that Draco moved him. Malfoy. The traitor... He\'s not really a traitor if he was never on your side, or never cared for you...


Draco had returned by then, staying well out of reach, just in case. He had a package across his lap, wrapped in plain brown paper, \"Sleep well Harry?\" He asked gently


Jumping with a weak sound of surprise, the brunette tried to curl into a ball further away from him. He was calm, too calm. That look was never good on a Malfoy. Wincing, he pushed the sneering looks that Malfoy had given him before shoving him off the edge of the bed. Harry shuddered. He didn\'t want to annoy the blonde further, didn\'t want another punishment. He wanted out. \"Y-y...yes...\" Lies. Everything was aboout lies now.


Draco wasn\'t calm really, he was tired, exhausted even. It had taken him a good three hours just to locate the package, and the rest of the time to retreieve it and bring it back, \"Do you know what a TruthMirror is Harry?\"


Shaking his head lightly, he seemed to completely miss the word \'mirror\' as he seemed to become afraid of the package. It was a new terror device...a new way to hurt Harry. Hadn\'t he been through enogh?

New tears came to his eyes even as he blinked them away. He hadn\'t been through enough, especially not for what he put Malfoy\'s kind through. Death Eaters dead, battling their Lord so many times, keeping him in hiding... Harry was beginning to think that this was hell. Eternal torture.


Draco nodded, \"They started with the adage \'a mirror never lies\' which we all know isn\'t true, but... Well, TruthMirrors can\'t lie.\"


Pressing himself carefully back against the headboard, looking at Malfoy carefully, as if waiting for him to pounce. \"Everything can lie...\" he noted skeptically.


He shook his head, \"Not a Truthmirror, it\'s like...\" His brow furrowed, trying to think of the right words to explain, \"Like the Mirror of Erised, only in reverse, it doesn\'t show what you want, it shows what\'s really there.\"


Wanting to ignore those words, Harry found it difficult. He seemed curious now, but was still wary as to why Malfoy had it. Holding onto a pillow, Harry swayed slightly, believing that he had lost blood in a substantial amount those hours previous. \"Go ahead...add it to your collection of things you have no use for then,\" came the snarl of hate and fear from the boy\'s throat.


Draco smiled thinly at that, shaking his head, \"No Harry, this is exactly what I need. Especially now.\"


\"Right, just like you need me right?\" he scoffed, fighting the tears back. He\'d let himself believe that he was needed...and above all wanted. Now all he felt was parts of him dying and the constant thought of vomiting and running.


He sighed, \"I do need you Harry.\" And he did, he was already feeling bound to the other man in ways even he couldn\'t describe, nor would he want to for fear of cheapening them.


Scoffing again, the brunette rolled his eyes in disbelief. \"I\'m sorry--did you forget the image of my blood everywhere? In the tub, draining, gone. That\'s what I think of your bloody need.\" It hurt to say the words, because, for one; that was what Harry had been thinking at the time he\'d commited the act. Two, he didn\'t mean it and he knew it. He lo...enjoyed the other\'s feedings--but if that was all the need towards himself was, he could care less. ...Right?


Draco shook his head again, slowly unwrapping the mirror, it was old and spotted, in a plain wooden frame that had apparently been waterlogged at one time or another, \"Just tell it what you need to see Harry.\"


Glaring at the thing for a minute, Harry didn\'t know what Malfoy meant. \"Looks like a regular sodding mirror to me.\" He still crept back further against the headboard as the blonde leaned closer to put the mirror within Harry\'s reach. Hesitating, he eventually snatched it up and looked it over, muttering his disbelief about it. At least the Mirror of Erised had looked magical. This...looked like junk. A trick. Harry dropped it upon the thought that it was a portkey and eyed it.


Draco sighed, ruffling a hand through his hair, he knew better than to look in it himself, knowing what he\'d see, \"It\'s just a mirror Harry, a Truthmirror, ask it what you need to see.\"


Harry stared at it for a minute, trying to sort out his thoughts enough to think of one thing to ask. He warily closed his eyes, slowly picking up the mirror. Swallowing thickly, he took a calming breath. \"What...\" Breathe. \"What r-really happened...?\" There was a brief pause, then, \"Mirror.\" He added for politeness in case it had hidden teeth somewhere.


There was a moment while it just reflected him, and then, slowly, it shifted, reflecting the entire room, showing him exactly what had happened, his nightmares drawing Draco awake.


Pausing a moment before opening his eyes nervously, Harry looked down at the mirror to find it shifting into another picture. Swallowing, he looked at it closer, hands nearly trembling. This was horribly of Malfoy to do if he was lying--making him basically re-live it.

He watched carefully, unblinking, as he saw himself tossing and turning enough to wake Malfoy. Twisting the mirror in his hands seemed to change the angel he watched at, so Harry proceeded to find a way to look closely at the blonde\'s face. Shocked to see it with a hint of concern, the view changed suddenly to show Harry tossing himself over the bed in tears, wrists tied, but legs free---as they distinctly hadn\'t been when Malfoy had raped him...or...was it really a nightmare?

Blinking numerous times to clear the tears and try to calm his shaking body from the memory...or whatever it was, he watched on, as if waiting for something to jump out at him. Lost in his thoughts, he barely saw Draco lunge for him and try to pull him up, then winced and nearly dropped the mirror as the scream echoed in his head.

Letting the mirror fall then, Harry broke into sobs, letting some of his tears fall onto the surface of the glass before he opened his eyes and wanted to cry harder as he saw the expression on Draco\'s face as he hauled Harry up onto his lap, running his fingers through his hair and trying to pull the brunette back to him...then wiping the tears that Harry hadn\'t known continued after he passed out.


Draco\'s head was in his hands at that point, heels of his hands resting against his eyes, more than anything he felt tired, exhausted even, and nothing he could do about it.


Harry sat there, staring at the mirror which was no longer showing anything. His eyes seemed glazed and distant, and his stomach was wrenching into horrific knots that made him feel weaker than he already was. Tears brimmed his eyes as he sank forward to rest his forehead on the mattress, his voice cracking with his words, \"I\'m...s-sorry...\"


Draco\'s brow furrowed at that, blinking up at the other man, \"What? No, no, Harry, you\'ve no reason to be sorry.\" Another head shake, \"You can\'t help what you think is real.\"


The small frame of a man shook with his sobs as one hand clutched at the mirror, almost fearing that if he let go this would turn into a dream. His mind was spinning and he wondered if he\'d ever be sure what was real or not. With his free hand, he slowly reached towards Draco, suddenly wanting to just curl up on him, crying or not. He needed it almost as a test, to make sure Draco hadn\'t created that mirror to trick Harry.


His brow furrowed just slightly at that before he unfolded, easing onto the side of the bed beside the other man, not sure yet what would happen if he touched Harry.


Unsure himself if he wanted it yet, Harry didn\'t care. His hand crawled forward to grasp Draco\'s hand and tried to pull his suddenly lead body onto that of his protector. He had to be able to trust Draco...after everything...he cared enough to try to set Harry\'s thoughts straight. He didn\'t simply toss him away. One of Draco\'s first sentences since Harry had been caught popped into his mind. \"Always with the running. Where do you all think you\'re going to get to anyway?\" Why didn\'t he just get rid of Harry like it seemed he had with others...?


If Draco was aware of the other man\'s thoughts, he showed no sign of it, arms looping more securely around Harry\'s waist, keeping him close.


A shiver ran through the slender body before Harry turned and curled into Draco\'s hold, wishing that he were smaller and could curl up perfectly into his lap like a small puppy and just be cared for forever.


Draco\'s arms curled closer still around Harry\'s shoulders, feeling suddenly and feircely protective and possessive of the other man, wanting nothing more than to keep him forever.


Feeling suddenly safe and overwhelmed by everything, Harry broke down into tears in the blonde\'s arms, clinging to him and shaking. His gut seemed to be in his mouth as he felt as if his insides were empty yet filled with happiness from Draco at the same time. Muttered words came seeping from between sobs, \"I...wish you knew how...how bad it was...\" Harry meant it in the sense that he wanted Draco to see the nightmare, to know why he had flipped out; not in the sense that he wanted pain upon the other.


Draco shushed him gently, stroking his hair again, \"Easy easy easy, just let it out.\" Which was a far cry from \'oh everything will be alright, no need to cry.\'


Burying his face further into Draco\'s chest, his arms curled against his own. He trembled slightly and brought his knees up to slide behind the other\'s back slightly. Eyes clenched tightly, he tried to rid his vision of tears, as well as his mind of the vivid nightmare that kept replaying Draco\'s evil and trying to push him away.


Draco\'s hands were cool against Harry\'s spine, stroking gently, almost petting, just doing his best to soothe the other man.


Cries slowly died to sobs, and sobs to whimpers as Harry was effectively wearing himself out. He\'d gone limp in the blonde\'s lap, eyes half closed and staring at the muscles moving in Draco\'s chest, unconsciously timing the steady heartbeat.


Draco continued petting gently, finally lifting Harry\'s head, brushing away the remnants of tears with the pad of a thumb, \"Good.\"


The emerald eyes wanted to close at the touch, they were dead heavy and sore from crying, but they didn\'t seem to want to close that extra fraction of a lash. Turning his head lightly to the touch none the less, Harry grasped Draco\'s wrist with a strength he forgot he ever had and pulled his hand back to his face. Kissing the others\' fingers gently, he swallowed another sob and wrapped his other hand around their fingers, falling back weakly against the lap. Looking only barely at the man above his with tired and almost hollow eyes, he whispered one request, \"May I have a...a dreamless...draught please....\"


Draco nodded, running his fingers through the other\'s hair again, deciding that perhaps he should have one himself too, after the ordeal of finding the mirror. He tilted his head, \"Will you be alright here for a moment while I go fetch it?\"


Nodding briefly, Harry reluctantly crawled off the warm lap and out of the embrace. Stretching on the bed, he yawned, blinked and watched Draco, insistant on staying awake until he\'d had the potion. Last time, he\'d fallen asleep, and had to be woken to take it. That wasn\'t pleasant.


Draco nodded, slipping from the side of the bed, \"I\'ll be right back.\" And he was, taking only a few moments to find and measure out a dose of the potion, bringing it back with a glass of water to wash away the aftertaste.


Sitting up after some struggle with weak muscles, he smiled softly at Draco and took his part from him, potion in one hand, water in the other. Taking a deep breath, Harry brought the potion to his lips, tossed his head back, swallowed, and then repeated the same with the water. Seemed he\'d been to the bar a few times enough to learn how to take shots.


Draco smirked faintly at that, shaking his head as he took both the vial and the glass again, setting them on the bedside table, \"Make yourself comfortable Harry.\"


Harry didn\'t move until Draco sat back down. \"I was planning to,\" he said sleepily. Hugging the other at the neck, his lips brushed the blonde\'s before he practically pushed Draco backwards. He rested his head on the crook of shoulder, neck and chest, arm splaying across the toned torso before he nodded off quickly.


He chuckled softly at being used as a human comfort blanket, but he didn\'t mind, arms looping securely around Harry\'s waist, holding him close.


The steady beat of their hearts made Harry think he was in a clock as he drifted fully off, shifting slightly hesitantly closer to Draco. Taking a sighed deep breath, and a yawn, the draught took over after a short sentence trailed off. \"I\'m sorry I doubte...\"


Draco rather suspected he knew what came next, and it made him smile slightly, arms still snug around Harry\'s waist, keeping him close.


It was nearly one in the afternoon the following day before Harry even stirred from his limp and deep sleep, and even after that first stir, it took him another fifteen minutes to actually open his eyes. Making a groggy morning \'my voice isn\'t working yet\' croak, he lifted his head and looked around, blinking to remember the events of the prior day.


Draco had drifted in and out of sleep for the duration, mostly just the in-between state, though he was drawn out of it as Harry woke.


Remembering his final trails of words from the night prior, a smile crept onto his lips as he figured it would be humorous to start on some sort of note. \"..d you.\" So he finally finished the sentence. After drawing himself from the silver gaze that held his, he trailed the lines of features on the blonde.


Draco chuckled softly at that, leting his eyes half close, tilting his head up into the other\'s touch, his own fingers easing down over Harry\'s arm, petting gently, \"Sleep well?\"


\"Better than in years,\" he admitted. Tracing his fingers down the jawline, then neck and then to just over his heart, he left it there, sitting up a bit. \"Draco...\" he started questioningly though he had no idea how to word the rest.


He tilted his head, catching the other\'s fingers, weaving them gently, resting his hand atop Harry\'s on his chest, \"yes?\"


Eyes dipping to rest on their entwined fingers, Harry hesitated. \"Why am I still here...?\" He chewed the inside and corner of his lip alternately, not sure whether he wanted to hear the answer.


His brow furrowed slightly, blinking, \"Because you\'re my charge and I\'m not about to let anyone else have you.\"


Heart sinking slowly into his gut, he mumbled more words, contemplating pulling his hand free from the blonde\'s. \"I mean...it sounded like...you\'d never...\" He hesitated on getting the word out. \"...kept...anyone for very long--was the impression I got...so why me?\" His eyes seemed almost blurred and glazed over as he remembered that first day. The curse, the words, the pain, indescribeable, yet in a totally different way than Tom\'s pain.


He shrugged, fingers petting through the other man\'s hair, \"They just don\'t last, that\'s all. Too delicate for their own good.\" He smiled, head tilting to nuzzle Harry\'s ear, \"You\'re tough though, and I like that.\"


That chill that Harry loved slithered from the base of his gut right to his mind, making him close his eyes and tilt his head slightly, before blinking and pulling back slightly, only enough to show he had another question, and not stop the flesh to flesh contact. \"Tough enough for what...? What happened to them? Is that all I am is a thing?\" He could almost feel an unknown reason to hysteria rising in him as he became more aggrivated. He sat back now, trying to hide the short breaths overcoming him. \"A-a toy?\"


Draco arched a brow, \"Oh hardly. You\'re tough enough that you don\'t let me use you like a toy, you remind me daily that you\'re a living, breathing person.\"


This wasn\'t helping his sadness. Or anger really. \"So if I was weaker you would? Well...then...why didn\'t you when you had the chance?!\" His voice was cracked rarely by sobs that cut off his throat. A blurry image flashed before his eyes of Draco and Tom standing in the doorway to the washroom as blood ran across his face and into his vision; another when he\'d laid there broken and hollow, Draco hovering over him.


Draco shook his head, lifting Harry\'s hair away from his face gently, \"Not likely.\" He smiled, nuzzling the man\'s temple a moment, \"I\'ve no reason to.\"


Anger calming at the other\'s touch , Harry practically slumped forward onto Draco, his head immediately settling--as it had been lately--on the beating of a heart. After a moment of silence, a thought was voiced that Harry hadn\'t thought of until it had voiced itself. \"You\'re training me aren\'t you...?\" He knew this, but he wasn\'t sure for what.


He nodded, still petting the other\'s hair, \"Yes. In a way.\" And it wasn\'t something that wouldn\'t be reversable, should things change somewhere down the line


\"For what?\" His eyes drifted closed at the comforting touches, his voice toned down almost into a whisper as he settled against Draco again.


He hesitated a moment before answering, \"To be my thrall.\" It was the truth at least, he hoped that was enough for something.


Harry didn\'t make any move for a moment as he raked his brain for that definition. Thrall...what does that mean again? Ugh, I know it... Oh it means-- Sitting up suddenly he looked at Draco, eyes wide. \"Your bondage slave...\" he squeeked out in surprise. Oddly, he wasn\'t terrified of this. He should have known, really...but, to have it confirmed--was bloody weird.


His brow furrowed at that, blinking rapidly, \"My what?\" He shook his head then, \"No, Harry, not at all.\"


Harry\'s own eyebrows knitted together as he thought. Did I get that wrong...? Oh bloody Merlin!! Now he thinks that\'s what I need...er, want. Or something. Isn\'t it? Uh...no? Liar. Shove off. Harry\'s eyes lowered and his ears were flaming hotter than he ever could remember. Even the tinge of red crept across his cheeks just under his eyes. \"W-what then?\" he breathed.


Draco smiled slightly, arms looped comfortably around Harry\'s waist, \"My donor, as well as a bedwarmer.\"


Settling back into the warm touch for what seemed like the millionth time--and the most latural thing you\'ve ever felt...--Harry closed his eyes. That would do he supposed. It was better than being a punching bag, or of the sort. He even smiled at the words \'donor\' as a tingle of hope and anticipation crept to his neck. However, that was short lived as a stab of pain shot to his spine and side where \"Draco\" had bitten him painfully.


Draco\'s brow furrowed, \"What\'s wrong?\" He had sensed the twinge at least, if nothing else.


Harry\'s back had arched sharply, trying to get away from the pain and therefore pushing his chest into Draco\'s, and head thrown back in a quiet whimper of pain. Tears sparkled his cheeks as he grasped onto the blonde\'s arm with his right hand, his left trying to claw at the shredding skin on his back.

Upon realization that this wasn\'t going to work, the brunette\'s left hand clasped tightly to Draco\'s and tried to send a pleading sign for him to rid the pain in his back, the nightmare fangs tearing the skin on his spine and sides apart as he curled tighter to the other. \"P-pleas-se...\" came the quiet whimper.


Draco\'s brow furrowed, fingers trailling along Harry\'s spine, finding tightly knotted muscle in the spot, kneading it firmly, \"Try to relax Harry.\"


Closing his eyes, Harry curled both his arms around the waist before him and pulled his face against the cold skin and soft scent of shampoo and soap. Fighting to keep the tears down from random pains shooting along him from the knots, he decided the best way to get his mind off of it was to keep his lips sealed against the salty tan skin.


Draco had well-practiced fingers and it wasn\'t long before he unraveled the knot, kneading against the spot a while longer, just in case.


Breathing in relief, he clung to Draco a bit tighter for a moment, a \'thanks\' hug before embarassingly uncurling from his lap. Swallowing nervously, he kept his eyes low, pulling a sheet around his torso.


Draco smiled slightly at that, ruffling a hand through the other\'s hair gently, \"Feeling alright now Harry?\"


Harry regained his thoughts and pushed what had just happened from his head a few moments after nodding and tilting his head into the other\'s touch gently. Trying to pretend that hadn\'t happened--though he planned on trying to get Draco to feed from him to prove that it was a dream more so--he quietly continued the questions he had prior.

\"If being a donor and a warmer is all I am to be...how does that require training?\" He wasn\'t sure how to get onto the topic that he had thought that his initial guess had been right, and that it seemed Draco had been trying to...dare he say it, enjoy...pain.


He smiled, petting the other\'s hair still, \"Because you\'re to be my thrall, which is a donor and a warmer all at once. Have to get your body used to it.\"


\"Draco have you...\" Pause. Rephrase words in head. \"Does that include...\" No that doesn\'t seem right either, damnit. \"...\" Seeming to be stuck on words, Harry settled on chewing his lip for the time being, picking at skin by his nails that was sticking up and annoying him---only to realize they were hangnails and hurt like hell to rip off.


Draco sighed at that, tugging Harry\'s hand away from his mouth gently, \"Going to hurt yourself doing that, probably bleed to death too.\"


Harry\'s eyes finaly reached Draco\'s when he pulled his hand away, only to drop it again quickly along with his hands. \"That includes pain tolerance as well--doesn\'t it?\" he eventually blurted before a blush tinged his ears, \"to...to make me a, what do they call it...a misokit?\" Pause. That\'s not right. \"Masochist.\"


Draco\'s brow furrowed, blinking, \"Not at all. If there\'s pain there\'s something wrong.\" He shook his head, \"Where would you get an idea like that?\"


Lowering his head as if a puppy just scolded, he kept his eyes down. \"I...I don\'t know...\" His mind faintly trailed back to the garden party the few weeks prior where Draco had given him a vial to take, turning the pain into pleasure. Fingers trailed the line of his collar as he remembered the previous one, straying on where marks should have been fromt he embedded spikes. It had hurt...yes, but it had also been much more pleasureable than Harry had thought possible. Perhaps he\'d misunderstood everything in that room...what it looked like. Harry squirmed slightly.


Draco smiled slightly, nuzzling the line of Harry\'s jaw, \"That wasn\'t what I was trying to do at all.\" ANother nuzzle, \"A masochist is someone who gets their pleasure from pain. I was merely trying to heighten your pleasure by bracketing it with pain.\"


Harry blinked. \"I...I\'m not sure I understand...\" He was new to all this after all--and he almost wanted to hex himself for being interested in the slightest. Feeling guilty at that tiny part of his mind that wanted--say, a first hand demonstration, to the rest of his mind screaming that this was insane and he shouldn\'t even begin considering what was being presented to him. That side became rather muffled after he admitted shyly that he had rather begun to enjoy those past experiences. Damn my curious Gryffindor traits...


Draco smiled, \"If I were trying to turn you into a masochist, there would have been no pleasure at all, only pain until you felt it as pleasure.\"


Blushing deeply at this, his eyes lowered with a quiet \'oh\' and he felt stupid for asking. Yes, he admitted he was--Merlin forbid--in love with Draco to some extent, but that held nothing in comparison to the questions that seemed to be swarming his head with unformable words to say them.


Draco tilted his head, brow furrowing as he trailed his fingers through the other man\'s hair again, from his crown to the nape of his neck, pausing there before trailing down his spine as well, \"Anything else?\"


Harry shivered slightly at the touch, but didn\'t move either. He glanced at Draco, trying to fight the urge to cry out that he had no feelings toward the blonde, to deny anything,despite never being accused of such. He knew he\'d be lying if he denied, but who else would?

Who else would know that he was thinking back to that room and visioning a few items he\'d seen in there; and trying to figure out what they did. Would anyone know how hard he was fighting himself to just sit there and make himself believe what the mirror had shown him? How hard he fought to make his body sit there when he knew--somehow--he could trust Draco; but his mind was replaying flashes of his nightmare across his eyes and making him want to tremble, scream and run. \"N...no.\"


Draco\'s brow furrowed just slightly, but he nodded, petting the other man\'s hair still, \"Alright. If you think of anything, you know you can ask me, right?\"


Already having had a quiet voice, it lowered even yet then, \"no--\" He hated to think it, but he had no idea what, who or even where he could trust. He had always thought he\'d been able to trust Hogwarts as a sanctuary...not it was simply Riddle\'s castle.

Harry wanted to see Ron again, to talk to him, to vent things to him like he usually had--but he figured that this wouldn\'t go over well, as well as he had no idea what Ron had been put through--where ever he was. He hadn\'t had much of a chance to look at him through proper eyes that eve.


And that was probably the one request that Draco would turn down cold. At least, for the time being, but only because as far as he was concerned, Ron was a toy, his toy and he still wasn\'t very good at sharing his toys.


This trail of thought quickly made his mind slip into questions of \'what has happened to him...?\' Harry could weakly figure out that Draco had him somewhere, whether it had initially been him to take the red head from the battle or not. And no doubt he had to be angry, or at least upset that his father had been killed.

His eyes clenched shut as he tried to clear his head of thoughts on what Malfoy would do to someone in that position--do to Ron. After all, he knew how painful his \'crucio\' could be---and Harry hadn\'t done anything but try to leave the room---really. But, to someone whom he had anger towards, hate even; he didn\'t want to know.


This tore Harry. Tore his heart. He didn\'t know what to think. He\'d been exposed to this; almost; caring side that probably very few have seen, and he loved that side greatly, but when image, memories or visions of what he had and could do; it made Harry feel ill. Which brought him right back around to whether he could believe the mirror or not--whether he could trust that; though his nightmare hadn\'t happened...would it ensure that it wouldn\'t happen, that it wasn\'t what Draco really thought...


Draco just continued petting in silence, having settled back against the pillows. He couldn\'t explain what had happened really, how he\'d gone from wanting to crush Harry completely, to wanting to protect that last little spark, keep it for himself. He couldn\'t explain it, but he didn\'t want to either.


However, thinking harder, Harry couldn\'t recall any injuries on Ron. Perhaps he wasn\'t hurt, he was just captive, just like Harry was. Curling more into himself, Harry refused to admit the burning spark of jealousy that suddenly hit him. \'Just like Harry\'. He didn\'t want that. Was he actually thinking he\'d rather Malfoy beat his best friend, than seduce him? He must\'ve hit his head--hard--somewhere.


Ron had simply had time to heal, since Draco had been busy with Harry for the past few weeks, that was all it was. That and Draco felt neglect was worse than constant torture, especially for someone who was from such a large family and always had such a flock of friends.


Curling into a tighter ball, nearly turtle-like, Harry laid on the sheets, facing away from Draco as it seemed ritual for him to do so now. He had begun to think that the only way he\'d ever think clearly is if he managed to get a day or three alone; away from Draco; and that this constant...need that was pounding to be let out would go away. He knew that wouldn\'t happen though.


Draco\'s brow furrowed slightly once more, arm looping around the other man\'s waist, gentle as ever, stretching out along Harry\'s spine, leaving a gentle kiss to the crest of his ear, \"Sleep.\"


A murmured hum bounced around his chest and throat briefly before Harry, almost hypnotically; slipped into a slumber. A hesitant slumber none-the-less however from the previous nightmare. In subconscious attempts to either muffle the dreams, or prove them wrong, Harry had turned over within minutes and was looping his arms over Draco\'s waist to hold him tightly. His face was buried practically perfectly into the cave that the blonde\'s neck, chin and and chest created.


Draco blinked at that, but smiled, chin resting atop Harry\'s head, smiling as he stroked gentle circles against the small of the other\'s back, content to lie that way, holding him close.

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Responses to Reviews on this Chapter

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Sharon
Great story and it is abundantly clear that much work has been put into this story. We all definitely appreciate your imagination.

^_^ I\' glad you think so! ^_^ *giggles*


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sbkar
The nightmare\'s aftermath was a tad creepy...that lingering miasma of dread that hangs on one like spiderwebs...

*blinks* ^_^; Okays. ^-^


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Nextvictim
this is cute... at least no more distance between them. are i going to see snape in the future?

I can\'t say much about Snape---I don\'t know. ^^; But thanks for the review. ^_^


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avihenda
hi, I\'ve been reading your fic since some weeks ago and I love it. I look forward to every new chapter, like it was xmas. :-) I really like the way you portray the characters and how you make them grow but still keep their original \"feel\" to them. I\'m looking forward to the next chapter! take care!

^_^ That\'s awesome to hear. I wonder occasionally if I actually keep the feel of Harry but yea... OH! I just found out my counterpart has an account on here!! *will put a AN up briefly to props her*

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