Love, Lies & Loneliness

Chapter 30.
(One part of a whole)

“You’ve got to be kidding me Harry, Mum and Dad have been planning this for a week you can’t possibly miss it.” Ron selected another chocolate frog from the mound of sweets and lollies covering Harry’s bed spread.

“You are the guest of honour Harry and Mrs Weasley would be devastated if you said no.” Hermione took the offered sherbet pop Ron handed her as she propped her feet up on the edge of Harry’s trunk.

“Yeah, you know what mum’s like Harry. Can you just imagine what she’d say? Besides Bill and Charlie are flying in just for the occasion.” Ron mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate frog already stashing the wizard’s card in Harry’s pile, as one he’d already got.

“It’s just going be family, friends and the order of course, no one else. No press.” Hermione licked her lollypop again almost crying as the sherbet crackled in her mouth.

“Are you going?” Harry turned to glance at Draco who sat next to him on the bed, his back resting against the headboard.

“I’ve been invited yes, but there’s not much point in me going if you don’t Potter.” Draco was chewing a blood bomb and Harry had to try not to laugh as the Blonde began drooling blood from the corners of his lips.

Harry mulled over the proposition for a little while in silence. He’d spent the past four days since Voldomort’s death mostly in bed recovering by order of Madam Pomfrey. It hadn’t stopped the reams of visitors he’d had all vying for the exclusive unedited tale of Harry’s defeat of Voldomort though. The wizarding world had fallen into party mode with the new minister of magic declaring three weeks of holidays. Harry had heard reports of people dancing up the main street of Hogsmeade but was yet to see anything of the sort. The post had arrived swiftly after the newspaper broke the news everyone had waited so long to hear. Letters of congratulation, admiration and adulation came pouring in along with tonnes of presents from well wishers. Harry had quite lost track of the letters he’d read. The latest present of course was the trunk of sweets graciously given to him by Honeydukes. Ron’s eyes had lit up when he’d seen Fred and George carrying the box up to the Gryfindor dormitory.

Everything seemed to be swamping Harry at the moment and he didn’t even know completely what had happened himself, with people usually too busy to spend time discussing things with him. Draco had been his constant though, the blonde boy offering to stay at school with Harry as the rest of students were sent home for the official holiday celebrations.

Draco had lost everything. Lucius now found himself in Azkaban, along with the other remaining death eaters slowly being rounded up by the authorities. Consequently everything Lucius owned had now become Ministry property leaving Draco’s mother to flee the country for fears of her own capture. Draco therefore had nothing left, except what the ministry had allowed him to take from his parent’s assets. Naturally Snape being Draco’s godfather had taken over the role of Draco’s mentor, for which the Slytherin boy was truly thankful.

“Snape’s going to be there?” Noting Harry’s indecision on the topic Hermione looked cheekily over the top of her lollypop hoping that the wizards presence might prompt a hastier decision. Her and Ron had been sent by Mrs Weasley to officially invite Harry, but when they’d arrived back at school they’d found a very unwilling Harry.

“That’s even more reason for me not to go.” Hermione’s attempt at helping the situation did exactly the opposite as Harry flung himself out of bed and walked moodily over to the window seat. Behind his back Draco glared at Hermione, silently reminding the girl not to be so insensitive.

“Look just get going, I’ll make sure he’s there.” Harry heard Draco whispering to his friends and watched in the reflection of the window as Ron filled his pockets with a few more chocolate frogs for the floo journey home before he and Hermione walked to the door hand in hand.

“Think about it Harry it’ll be fun I promise. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Harry didn’t bother glancing over his shoulder as Ron paused in the dorm doorway and waved goodbye. When Harry didn’t wave back Ron sighed but left anyway, Hermione trailing behind him.

“You’re becoming an anti social git you know that Harry don’t you?” Draco closed the door to the dorm and wandered back over to Harry’s bed and began pushing the still heaped piles of sweets back into the trunk beside the bed.

“So?” Harry folded his arms across his chest as he watched the fireflies of the evening beginning to emerge from the bushes around the Quidditch field.

“So, you can’t keep avoiding people, especially not Snape.” With the last of the sweets back in the trunk Draco kicked the lid closed and flicked his wand over the trunk so that it shifted into the corner of the room out of the way.

“Why not? I thought killing Voldomort would stop all this but it has just made it worse. I can’t even fucking recover in peace without people dropping by unexpectedly to see me.” Harry fiddled with the bandage still wrapped around his hand. The burn had healed much more than before but it was still sore and certainly not a pretty sight to look at.

“That’s cause they’re concerned for you Harry, that’s all. And all this will die down eventually, if you give them what they want now. A few interviews, an appearance or two at a party, and maybe some photo’s it wouldn’t take much to satisfy them, they’re too happy at being rid of Voldomort to harass you for long.” Draco crawled up onto Harry’s bed and stretched out, his belly overfull of sweets and his tastebuds crying out for a vegetable of some sort. Harry smiled weakly across at the boy lying on his bed before shuffling over to it, to lie down beside Draco as well.

After two days of solid bed rest in Snape’s rooms Harry had been well enough to return to his own dorm, and with there no need of Harry to be in the Slytherin dorms any longer Dumbledore had everything of Harry’s moved back to Gryfindor tower. Harry too had asked that Draco move with him and so now the two boys shared the empty tower between them, Draco having taken Ron’s bed for the time being.

The pair of them lay quiet staring at the red canopy of the bed above them the occasional sound of their sugar filled stomaches grumbling in the silence. Finally Harry couldn’t take it any longer and sat up slightly to look down at Draco, who despite their public show of hatred for one another were now close friends. There were so many questions Harry wanted answering, and so much he didn’t understand still despite everything he’d seen in Snape and Voldomort’s memories.

“When did you find out?” Harry pushed his glasses back up his nose as he fiddled with the sleave of Draco’s green trimmed robe.

“Find out what?” Draco turned over onto his side, so that his head propped up on his elbow comfortably.

“About Snape and the whole grand plan thing?” Harry mirrored Draco’s position on the bed and looked cautiously up into the blondes, sea blue eyes. Draco hesitated for a moment before shrugging his shoulders unknowingly.

“I’m not sure really, I only had bits of information up until first year but then after that summer it all began to fall into place.” Draco shrugged his shoulders again as Harry sighed heavily and picked a sweet wrapper from Draco’s robe where it had stuck.

“Well can you tell me about it then?” Harry hoped that Draco would go into more detail without prompting but Harry knew that the blonde haired boy hated long winded speeches and usually kept his conversations to the minimum.

“Not really, Snape said to keep my mouth shut until you were fully recovered, he reckons you’re not ready to hear it yet.” Harry groaned in frustration and turned over onto his back with a huff of contempt.

“Bloody git, knew he’d stick his oar in.” Draco looked at Harry in complete confusion. Another thing Harry had noted with Draco that having grown up with no muggle influences the boy’s knowledge of muggle phrases and life was severely limited. “Just a muggle saying.” Harry shook off Draco’s confused stare to which end the boy just shrugged his shoulders none the wiser. “Can you please tell me Draco, I hate not knowing things and I’m tired of hearing bullshit.” Harry looked pleadingly across at his friend who sighed loudly before eventually giving in and nodding.

“Fine but I only know half of the story, the bits to do with Snape and your mum I don’t really know about so you’ll have to ask him.” Harry nodded then eagerly leaned up again on his elbow as Draco took a deep breath and pondered on how to start.

“Well come on spill.” Harry became impatient quickly and so Draco tutted and rolled his eyes, hoping that what came out would make sense.

“Before the ministry found out Snape was a death eater and confiscated all his families stuff, I used to stay with him during the holidays when my parents went away. I remember a picture that used to sit on his desk in the study, of him and a woman. I was too young to think anything of it but eventually I worked out it was your mum, cause you look so much like her.” Draco paused and watched as Harry rolled his eyes, having heard that statement over and over again during his time at school.

“So what’s that got to do with the grand plan?” Harry pretended to be sarcastic when he described Snape’s plan but it was lost on Draco who merely stared at him as if he was being childish.

“Anyway.” Draco continued having silenced Harry’s sarcasm. “That first day I saw you in the hall was when I realised who the picture was of but I didn’t really pay attention to it. I’ve known all my life Snape was a death eater like Lucius and Mum but I’d never really paid attention to it, it’s the Malfoy legacy I guess.” Draco paused again slightly shivering at the memory that he too might have ended up a servant to the dark lord had Harry not saved him. “But that’s not really important, anyway one night that summer Mum threw a dinner party for dad’s friends. They were all death eaters of course. Snape was there too. After dinner I got sent to my room like always so the adults could talk. It was about quarter to 11 when I heard them downstairs. I told you before I heard a lot of stuff from my Dad’s study, and this was definitely worth listening too. Dad and Snape were arguing, really laying into each other. Dad was accusing Snape of being a traitor to Voldomort. There was heaps of stuff said about Snape’s betrayal, like about him saving you on the Quidditch pitch that day when Quirrel tried to kill you, oh and stuff about Snape not being around to help Voldomort regain power after his first demise. I think I remember them arguing about Snape’s whereabouts when Voldomort attacked your parents that night as well but I can’t really remember the details.” Draco paused and watched as Harry processed the information he’d been given before his head snapped up immediately.

“So Lucius knew Snape was a spy?” Harry was completely confused but he was willing to be patient knowing the truth would eventually make sense.

“I don’t know about spy but a traitor yes.” Draco took a deep sigh and turned over onto his back his hands coming up to clasp behind his head. “Anyway finally the argument got heated and I heard a few things breaking but then I heard Snape’s voice and the curse that he spoke. Being brought up with death eaters you get to know the unforgivable curses pretty well and what Snape had said was certainly the Imperious Curse.”

“Lucius was under Imperious Curse?” Draco rolled his eyes dramatically quickly becoming irritated with Harry’s constant interruptions. The glare the blonde threw at Harry made the boy shut his mouth quickly.

“Yeah has been for the past five years Harry. I’m guessing Snape couldn’t afford for Lucius to squeal about his allegiance to Voldomort so he kept him cursed to prevent it.” Harry was shocked and could hardly believe that he’d never seen any sign of the elder Malfoy’s curse and neither had anyone else.

“How come you didn’t try and stop Snape from controlling your father if you knew about the curse then?” Draco screwed his nose up and shrugged his shoulders uncaringly.

“I hate him Potter. Nothing I ever did was good enough for Lucius and I really, really didn’t want to be a slave to Voldomort. Besides I respected Severus and I knew he had to have a good reason for what he’d done, so I confronted him at school after the holidays.” Draco closed his eyes and yawned as he thought about his second year of Hogwarts.

“Bet he flipped out.” Harry huffed a small knowing laugh already imagining Snape’s facial expressions of being caught doing something secretive.

“Yeah just a bit, but then I talked to him about me not wanting to become a death eater and he told me then not to worry and that he was working on a solution to killing Voldomort, but that he couldn’t tell me the specifics incase Lucius turned on me. He told me that I had to act as if nothing was going on, and that he’d begin teaching me occlumency to try and protect me against Voldomort and my dad.” Harry groaned at the mere thought of the hours spent trying to learn occlumency with Snape.

“I bet you picked it up really easy.” Harry drawled in sarcasm to which Draco laughed and nodded.

“Yeah about a month it took me to crack Snape, had him flat on his arse a few times. That’s when I began to see the memories about what was going on. I learnt about the potion and you in one session, really pissed Snape off that he wasn’t quick enough to block me.” Both Harry and Draco chuckled at the image of Snape sitting flushed and angry flat on his arse in his office.

“I didn’t really understand what was going on or how it was going to work I just knew I had to keep silent and act like I had been before. Snape didn’t explain anything after that and I understood why; he was trying to protect me. It was like that for two years me just catching bits of Snape’s memories and putting things together to form a really narrow view of things. Then this summer just gone Snape came to me and told me about Dumbledore’s decision to put you in the Slytherin rooms. I didn’t know why until you tried to kill me in the common room….”

“My Transition.” Harry butted in quickly and Draco obligingly nodded as Harry began to catch on to a few things.

“Yup, the most influential and dangerous time in a young wizards life. I realised then what Snape was doing, he was moulding you into the adult wizard he needed to complete the task of killing Voldomort. I guess things were going well until you failed miserably at occlumency once again. That’s when he came to me about teaching you.”

“What?” Harry could hardly believe what Draco had just said and sat up a little to see if Draco was joking. The blonde haired boy was amused at Harry’s discomfort but what he’d said was certainly not a joke.

“Honestly Potter, do you think I would have approached you and called the truce had Snape not forced me to do it. In all honesty I really didn’t like you Potter, but I guess I’d been blinded by the whole ‘boy who lived’ title and made too hasty an assessment of your character when we first met.” Harry nodded in understanding as Draco looked up at him in apology. “Anyway that’s what the whole thing about spending time with you was about, trying to teach you occlumency. I guess Snape thought I could teach you the techniques I used to conquer the subject.”

“And those were?” Harry queried not sure now what part of their friendship was training and what part had been genuine.

“The drinking and smoking nights for a start.” Draco smiled as Harry grinned widely, he’d enjoyed those nights even if they’d been set up and the drug had really helped with clearing his mind.

“And what else?” Harry pressed unsure of what else Draco had intentionally taught him. Draco turned his gaze away from Harry’s momentarily, the blonde obviously uncomfortable about what else he was going to say. Harry had a funny feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer his friend was going to give him.

“The whole you having a crush on Snape thing, I kind of encouraged it more than I probably should have.” Draco winced sympathetically as Harry sighed heavily and flopped back onto the bed his arms coming up to hide his face in humiliation. “Sorry Harry. When I was learning occlumency Snape told me that a good way of concentrating on a person was to you know ‘really focus on them’” Draco made a crude gesture with his fist indicating a familiar action Harry had only recently learnt about. “With me I just picked some hot chick in Ravenclaw, got wasted one night and had a bit of wank, next morning I knew all sorts of private things about her I probably shouldn’t have known.” Draco watched as Harry slowly lowered his arm the glistening tears rolling down Harry’s cheeks making the blonde boy feel extremely guilty for what he’d done. “I honestly didn’t know you had a thing for Snape, I just threw it out there to try and get you to tell me who you actually did like, cause you would have never had told me otherwise would you?” Harry shook his head quietly in reply to which end Draco sighed in quiet reflection. “I had every intention of just explaining to you what to do but when you reacted so defensively about Snape I knew that I’d hit on something. I didn’t realise how much you liked him though or I probably would have not pursued it. In the end it worked though didn’t it?” Draco looked hopefully across at his friend who had crudely wiped the tears from his cheeks and composed himself.

“Yeah, it was him I was thinking about when I was flying in that storm. It was so intense when I began to see his memories; it was like reading a book of my life except it happened so quickly.” Harry breathed out heavily and Draco leaned across to place his head against Harry’s shoulder his blue eyes staring up apologetically into Harry’s.

“You must really like him Harry or you wouldn’t have been able to read his memories like that.” Draco nuzzled into Harry’s shoulder making Harry chuckle and push him away playfully.

“Do you think he just let me read his mind?” Harry rolled back over onto his side as Draco sat up from the bed and moved over to his trunk by Ron’s bed to retrieve his little box of weed.

“Nah, he wanted you to learn, there was no way he would have just let you walk in. You must have some pretty powerful magic Harry.” Draco jumped back on the bed and began rolling a joint for he and Harry to share.

“So do you really think I have a chance with Snape, even though he blew me off?” Harry picked up his wand and lit the joint for Draco who inhaled a few times to get the joint alight before passing it to Harry who took a long comforting drag.

“I don’t know. He seemed pretty receptive to you sticking your tongue down his throat in the great hall that night but then again he’s my godfather and I really don’t know about that much about his private love life.” Draco shrugged his shoulders as he took the joint back from Harry and inhaled his own long drag.

“So is that all you can tell me about this ‘plan’” Changing the subject slightly Harry looked at Draco who relaxed back into the bed trying to blow smoke rings up into Harry’s red canopy.

“Yeah pretty much. I guess you’ll just have to ask Severus for the whole story.” Harry lay down beside Draco again who passed him the joint again. “So are you going to this party thing? It sounds cool and now I’ve heard about this order of the phoenix I really want to see the auror’s who are in it. ”

“Yeah why not. I’ll send Hedwig with my reply tomorrow.” Harry closed his eyes and sighed heavily, already predicting the chaos that would be the Weasley’s party. Draco didn’t know what he was getting himself in for.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>