Lost Memories

Chapter 3






Thank you for
all of the reviews. I know it is
difficult to read about our poor Severus.
It was not easy writing it.

Please
review.

 

Hugs,

Corazon

 

Chapter 3

 

 

The next day, Albus received
an owl from Hermione. She was staying with
the Weaselys and had requested for him to send her things to the burrow. When Albus had inquired about what had
happened, Severus refused to talk about it.
All he said was, “Your past always comes back to haunt you.” Albus understood and sent Hermione’s things.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

At the burrow, Molly and
Arthur Weasley welcomed Hermione with open arms. Ron had already warned them about not mentioning Snape because
they had a falling out. He failed to mention
his part in it.

 

Ron spent as much time at the
burrow as his could. The weather was
cold for November, so this gave him plenty of time to sit by the fire with
Hermione.

 

“Ron, tell me about my life,”
she said, taking a sip of her drink.
“What do I like to do?”

 

Ron knew this was his chance
to make her like the things he likes.
“You love to play Quidditch.”

 

“I do?”

 

“Yes, although you aren’t too
good at it, but you love to practice it,” he saavoiavoiding her eyes. “Tomorrow we can go outside and practice.”

 

“Okay,” she hesitantly
replied. It didn’t make sense, but she
believed him. He was her friend.

 

After breakfast the next
morning, Ron and Hermione went outside, each carrying a broomstick. Ron mounted his broom and kicked off, flying
high into the air. She did the same,
but awkwardly hovered low to the ground.
She was scared, but couldn’t understand why because Ron said she loved
doing this.

 

“Come up here Hermione!”
cried Ron who was swerving and diving above her.

 

“I think I am fine down her,”
she squeaked, trying not to loose her balance.

 

“You’re never going to get
any better if you don’t try to fly higher,” insisted Ron, but Hermione stayed
close to the ground. After about an
hour, she finally convinced him that she was going in. He was a little frustrated, but he came in
with her.

 

He some how talked her into
going out a few more times on the broom and each time she hated it more and
more. Finally, he gave up, but then
something else began to happen. He
would come home from his classes to find her reading, non-stop.

 

“Weren’t you reading when I
left?” he asked, but she didn’t answer.

 

“Hermione,” he said
louder. She looked up at him.

 

“Oh, hi Ron,” she said before
going back to her book.

 

“Hermione!”

 

“What?”

 

“Why are you always reading?”

 

“Because it’s enjoyable,” she
simply replied.

 

“But,” he cringed, knowing he
was telling her another lie, “you never used to read that much!”

 

“Well, I can’t explain it,
but everything I read is so fascinating.
It’s like I just can’t get enough knowledge.”

 

“Come on Hermione, let’s go
find something else to do,” he insisted.
After several minutes of persuading, she finally left with him.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Severus was at the Hog Heads Inn,
halfway through a bottle of fire whiskey when Draco Malfoy walked in.

 

“Severus Snape,” he sneered,
“I don’t believe I have ever seen you in such a poor excuse for a bar.”

 

Severus straightened up and
glared at Draco. He sounded so much
like his father that if he hadn’t seen Lucius die with his own eyes, he would
have sworn Lucius was standing in front of him.

 

“What would a Malfoy be doing
here? Surely you aren’t lowering your
standards just to visit your professor,” answered Severus.

 

“No, I had no idea you were
here. I was just in the neighborhood on
‘business.’ ” Draco made his business
sound more important than it was. Severus
kept close tabs on him, making sure his ‘business’ was nothing more than
selling off the family heirlooms.

 

Lucius had been so arrogant
about following the Dark Lord, he squandered nearly all of his money, financing
Voldemort.

 

Drdustdusted off the empty
chair and took a seat across from Severus.
He leaned in close and quietly said, “It’s a shame about your ‘fiancée.’ If she wasn’t so careless, you two would be
planning your wedding right now.”

 

He glared at the young
man. The sneer in his voice was clear
as he spoke of Hermione. She didn’t
possess an ounce of carelessness and he knew it.

 

The entire time Severus sat
by her side in the hospital, never once did he question what happened. His only concern was Hermione, but now,
Draco brought up an obvious point.
Hermione brewed potions flawlessly.
“You were in her potion’s class.
What happened?” Severus demanded.

 

Draco sat back and gave his
classic sneer. “Like I said, she was
careless.” Severus grabbed his glass,
finished the fire whiskey he had poured and left. There was more to this ‘accident.’

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Hermione felt out of place at
the burrow. It wasn’t that she didn’t
feel welcomed, she just felt like she belonged somewhere else. Ron was constantly by her side, never
leaving her alone for more than a few minutes.
She tried to question him about this, but he kept reassuring her this is
how it always was.

 

Every time she left the
burrow, he was there, walking with her.
He was always talking about their past, but it felt more like he was
trying to convince her of her past.

Late one evening, Ron was
sitting next to Hermione as they both drank hot chocolate in front of the
fireplace. He slowly placed his arm
around her shoulders, as he had done in the past. At first, she was reluctant, but then she remembered parts of the
Pensieve that showed they were good friends.
However, on this particular night, Ron leaned his face closer to her,
placing a kiss on her cheek.

 

Her eyes were closed when Ron
had placed a kiss on her check, and the image of Severus appeared in her
mind. Severus had been appearing in her
thoughts for quite a while now. She even
dreamt of the man, so naturally she pictured him when Ron kissed her.

 

Surprised, Hermione turned
toward him and he kissed her again, this time on the lips. Thinking it was Severus, she returned the
kiss. Ron was the happiest man alive. She felt guilty, but knew she had to move on
without Severus. She couldn’t
understand why Severus had kept popping into her head like that, especially
after what she had learned about him.

 

Loosing all hope to find what
her heart ached for, she smiled at Ron.
After this, they were seen walking around, hand in hand. Harry was surprised, but happy. It was good to see his two best friends so
close, but he knew deep down inside that this was wrong.

 

“Hermione,” asked Molly,
“have you decided what you are going to do after Christmas?” Hermione had been talking about returning to
the University, but was not sure if she would be able to continue her
curriculum. The Weaselys reassured her
the burrow would always be her home.

 

“I believe that I am going to
go back to the University. The
assignments Ron has been bringing home from my professors have not been too
difficult, so I think I will be able to manage,” she replied, looking at Ron
who was beaming.

 

“That is wonderful dear!”
said Molly. “I know you will
succeed. It is so kind of your
professors to send your assignments, allowing you to finish the term
independently.”

 

“Yes it is. I need to continue my education so I can get
started in my career. In the mean time,
I have so many books I need to read.”

 

The room went silent as all
eyes fell on her.

 

“What did you say?” asked
Harry.

 

“I have so many books I need
to read, why?”

 

“I just didn’t hear you the
first time,” Harry reluctantly said. He
would love to have her memory return, but he felt so guilty about the Pensieve
that part of him wished she would never find out, even if it cost her memory.

 

An owl flew in the kitchen
window. Molly untied the letter and
read. “It’s from Ginny!” she
announced. “She will be here in one
week for Christmas break!” The family
was excited. Their youngest was
attending a wizarding university in America on a full ride scholarship for
Quidditch. She had turned out to be one
of the most versatile Quidditch players Hogwarts had seen. Molly and Arthur were so proud their little
girl was a star player in America and she was getting an education.

 

Molly had kept Ginny informed
on Hermione’s situation. Ginny had been
owling Hermione regularly, trying to build the relationship they once had. Even though she was best friends with Ron and
Harry, she was also best friends with Ginny.

 

Hermione loved the letters
fGinnGinny because they were direct and to the point. The others were careful
about what they said around her, but Ginny just said it or at least wrote it.

 

The week past quickly and
Ginny arrived. After the entire family
hugged and kissed their youngest member, she went to Hermione.

 

“Hello Hermione, I’m Ginny,”
she said, giving her a big hug.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet
you in person,” smiled Hermione. The
two got along great. Ron and Harry
still had two more weeks of classes before his Christmas break began and they
returned to the burrow, so Ginny spent a lot of time with Hermione.

 

The two women were down in
Ginny’s room, talking. “Hermione, I
need to ask you a question.”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“Why are you with my brother
and not Severus Snape?” Hermione took a
quick breath and closed her eyes.
Calming down, she opened her eyes and looked at Ginny.

 

“Because I found out some
things about him.”

 

“What things?”

 

She closed her eyes and
cringed, “The worst things possible.”

 

“That he is a Death Eater?”

 

“You know?”

 

“Yes, we all know. He is a part of the Order of the
Phoenix. He portrayed an active Death
Eater to spy for the Order. I’ve been
told he had to do some horrific things to maintain Voldemort’s trust, but he
was a good guy. He risked his life and
helped Harry defeat Voldemort.”
Hermione looked at Ginny like she had grown two heads.

 

“I didn’t know. I just knew he had hurt and tortured women
and men because Voldemort ordered him to.
I also saw where he would make fun of me, yell at me and make me
cry. Severus is a cruel man. He also killed my parents.”

 

“Snape tried to stop your
parents from being killed. He purposely
got the wrong address, but Lucius Malfoy got the correct address. By the time the Death Eaters arrived at your
parents’ house, Malfoy had already killed them. Snape was severely punished for that by Voldemort. He almost died.” Ginny stopped talking.
She watched her friend cry. “I
know Snape is not the friendliest person to grace the earth, but he can be
trusted. What ever you found out about
him, it wasn’t the whole truth Hermione.”

 

“Ron and Harry showed me
their Pensieve,” she sobbed.

 

Ginny knew exactly what had
happened. “Hermione, my brother has
been attracted to you since your fourth year at Hogwarts and until recently,
you have never giving him the time of day in the romance department because you
are friends.”

 

“But he has been so kind to
me.”

 

“Do you love him?”

 

“I – um,” stammered Hermione.

 

“Enough said,” snapped
Ginny. “Do you have any idea how in
love you were with Snape?” She shook
her head ‘no.’ “Hermione, you and Snape
were, are the perfect couple. I know he
is twenty years older than you and he is not the best looking guy around, but
damn Hermione, you two were perfect together!”

 

“He was so mean to me. How could I have loved him?” she asked.

 

A grin came over Ginny’s
face. “Hermione, when I first realized
you were head over heels in love with Snape, I was ready to hit you upside your
head, but then I saw how he responded to you.
I’ll show you, but we need a Pensieve.”
Hermione retrieved one for the University the next day and Ginny spent
the next week storing all of her memories of Hermione and Severus in it. Ron had no idea what they had been doing
while he was at class and nei one one was going to tell him.

 

Ginny worked ruthlessly on
the Pensieve, referring to her old journals from Hogwarts. Hermione was very nervous, but also
extremely curious about Severus Snape.
As much as she tried to get him out of her thoughts, he wouldn’t
leave. She was fascinated that her
former self was engaged to be married to him.


 

While working on the
Pensieve, Ginny also explained about Snape’s past or at least what she knew of
it. It waportportant for Hermione to
understand the whole picture because she fell in love knowing everything, good
and bad, about him. At last, it was
complete.

 

“Hermione, would you come to
town with me today? I need to pick up a
few last minute Christmas gifts,” said Ginny.


 

“Sure,” said Hermione. Ron was home now for the holidays and would
not let Hermione out of his sight. He
had told her so many lies, that he wanted to be around in case someone tried to
remind her of her old life.

 

“I’ll come too,” he said,
grabbing his jacket.

 

“Okay, I am going to model
lingerie and you can help me pick the one I am going to wear for Roger,” she
said in a stern whisper.

 

Ron put his jacket down and
said, “I think I will stay here. I have
a few things I need to do.” Ginny
winked at Hermione and they Apparated with the hidden Pensieve.

 

They both arrived at the edge
of Hogwarts. Ginny knew of a small
clearing at the edge of the lake where nobody hardly went and since it was the Christmas
holidays, there were even fewer students around to interrupt them. She placed a silencing charm and disclosing
charm around them so as not to be disturbed.
She also conjure two two chairs and a table to place the Pensieve on.

 

Hermione sat down and took a
deep breath. Slowly letting it out, she
lowered her face into the silver liquid with Ginny.

 

Spinning and swirling, she
came to stop in a dark stairway. It was
dingy and dirty, but she saw herself crouching down on the stairs, trying to
look at something or someone. She saw
Ginny a few stairs above her. Hermione
walked down to herself and crouched down to see what was so interesting. There he was, Severus, and he was speaking
quietly to Arthur Weasley. She saw the
men shake hands and Arthur then walked away.
She saw herself sit up, not hiding anymore, as if trying to show Severus
she was there.

 

He looked up at her with
the harden expression on his face, but when Hermione smiled at him, he slightly
bowed down to her and then left.

 

“You were always sneaking out
of our room and I decided to follow you.
This is what I saw,” said Ginny.

 

The next several visions
were of Hermione sneaking around, trying to see Severus while at headquarters
for the Order. Ginny had managed to
sneak out too, without Hermione knowing.


 

Hermione watched herself
approach Severus just before he was getting ready to leave.

 

“Miss Granger, it’s
late. You should be in bed,” he
growled.

 

“I know sir, but I just
want to know if you are okay,” she squeaked.

 

“My welfare is none of
your business Miss Granger,” he snapped quietly, not wanting to wake up Sirius’
mother.

 

“Sir, I just want you to
be careful. I saw you come back the
other night, beaten and bruised.”
Severus scowled at this information, but Hermione continued, “You are
taking a big risk for us and I just want to say thank you.” He looked at her. His scowl softened slightly and he nodded to her before leaving.

 

The next vision was a year
later. Hermione looked older and could
tell it was tame ame house, but it had been cleaned. Severus was talking to the Order and Hermione, Harry, Ron and
Ginny were present along with the other members.

 

“This memory will be
difficult, but you need to see it,” said Ginny.

 

Severus avoided looking at
her while he explained what had happened to her parents. It was clear that he had recently been
beaten from the bruises on his face and how he gingerly walked. Hermione watched herself react to the news
of her parents’ deaths, screaming and running from the room. She headed for the front dooakinaking up
Mrs. Black, who added to the screaming.
Once out the door, she left and Severus was right behind her. Since it was Ginny’s memory, she could not
see anymore.

 

“You told me he stayed with
you the entire night, holding you,” whispered Ginny.

 

The visions continued,
some at school and some in the house.
Some were of Hermione telling Ginny about Severus and some of Ginny
witnessing it. On the night she
graduated from Hogwarts, Hermione was heading back to Hea Head Girl rooms with
Ginny when Severus came around the corner.

 

“Miss Weasley, will you
give us a minute?” asked Severus.

 

“Yes sir,” squeaked
Ginny. She left, but hid around the
corner.

 

“Hermione, I just wanted
to say that now you have graduated, I was hoping you would come back to see me,
not as my student, but as - ”

 

“A friend,” Hermione
offered.

 

“More than a friend,” he
said, nervously.

 

Her eyes lit up. “Yes, I will be back to see you Severus.”

 

“And you came back Hermione,
many times,” added Ginny.

 

The next memory showed
Hermione and Severus together, holding hands.
Ginny was with her boyfriend, Roger and the four of them were having
dinner at a restaurant. Hermione kept
seeing herself snuggle up to Severus while he gazed at her with such love.

 

“Look at his eyes Hermione,”
whispered Ginny, “see how he looks at you with such love and devotion. And look at you. You return his feelings.”

 

She saw a few more
memories of her with him and realized she did have the same love in her eyes
for him.

 

The memories ended and they
both sat up.

 

“What do you think
Hermione?” She was afraid to answer
because she needed to know for sure.
sp; sp;

“I need to speak with
Severus,” she answered.

 

Ginny smiled, pointing to Hogwarts. “What are you waiting for?” Hermione stood up and gave Ginny a big hug.

 

“Thank you for showing me
everything. Now that I know the whole
story, I can discover for myself as to where I belong.” She left, walking to the castle.