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If You Can't Be With the One You Love...
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
6,715
Reviews:
18
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
6,715
Reviews:
18
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I am not JKR. I do not own the world of Harry Potter. I make no money off this work of fanfiction.
When it's time to let go
“What the hell am I doing here?” Severus thought on a cold January morning. Perhaps he should rephrase that. He knew what he was doing there, he just didn't want to be there.
He was standing at the grave of Lily Potter, a stone's throw away from where she died, behind the new home of Harry and Ginevra Potter. He had come with a heavy heart and guilty conscience to do what had to be done. He could no longer bear the weight of Hermione's unhappiness. He was the direct cause of it, so he needed to make things right.
Hermione was worried. Severus never came back to bed. After their weekly congress, he would come to bed after she fell asleep. She awoke this morning to his bed side untouched. “Did he leave me? Was he finally sick of the charade?” Hermione was at a loss. She didn't want to live with another woman's ghost hovering over her marriage, but she didn't know what she could do to change things. She went into their sitting room, sat down in front of the fire and waited. She didn't know what she waited for. Perhaps an absolution, which wouldn't ever come.
Severus took another furtive glance at the Potter home before he cast a self disillusionment spell and silencing charm. He wanted no one to see what he was doing or hear the one-sided conversation he was about to have with a dead woman. He placed the tiger lilies on the well kept grave and knelt beside the marker, taking care not to disturb and of the grave's other adornments.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say, what he needed to say before he lost another chance at happiness with an incredible woman.
“Lily” he began wearily. “I think, on some level, I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You were my first true friend, a magical friend who helped me through a lot of my agonizing childhood. I protected your son while he was at Hogwarts, trying to do for him what I could not do for you.” He reached out, touched her name and continued, “I hope you consider the life debt repaid.” As he spoke, a wave of ancient magic washed over him, giving him a complete peace he had never before known and didn't quite understand.
“Thank you, Lily. Thank you for your friendship when I needed it, but most of all thank you for your understanding. As I'm certain you know, the Ministry has seen fit to meddle in my life and forced upon me a swotty, know-it-all wife. Can you imagine” he snorted “me with a wife? As asinine as it might be, she seems to care for me a great deal.” He felt the emotion welling, choking him as he continued “and I've been nothing but a shite to her. I've got to tell her I'm sorry before it's too late.”
“Goodbye Lily. I hope you have found peace on the other side of the Veil. You most assuredly deserve it.” Severus gave Lily Potter's final resting place one last look and disapparated back to Spinner's End, where he and Hermione had been spending the Yule holiday prior to going to Hogwarts for the new term.
As he walked into their house, his stomach clenched with nerves and fear. He didn't know how to go about telling Hermione about his morning and his decision about their marriage, but he knew that he must. He called out “Hermione, we need to talk.”
He was standing at the grave of Lily Potter, a stone's throw away from where she died, behind the new home of Harry and Ginevra Potter. He had come with a heavy heart and guilty conscience to do what had to be done. He could no longer bear the weight of Hermione's unhappiness. He was the direct cause of it, so he needed to make things right.
Hermione was worried. Severus never came back to bed. After their weekly congress, he would come to bed after she fell asleep. She awoke this morning to his bed side untouched. “Did he leave me? Was he finally sick of the charade?” Hermione was at a loss. She didn't want to live with another woman's ghost hovering over her marriage, but she didn't know what she could do to change things. She went into their sitting room, sat down in front of the fire and waited. She didn't know what she waited for. Perhaps an absolution, which wouldn't ever come.
Severus took another furtive glance at the Potter home before he cast a self disillusionment spell and silencing charm. He wanted no one to see what he was doing or hear the one-sided conversation he was about to have with a dead woman. He placed the tiger lilies on the well kept grave and knelt beside the marker, taking care not to disturb and of the grave's other adornments.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say, what he needed to say before he lost another chance at happiness with an incredible woman.
“Lily” he began wearily. “I think, on some level, I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You were my first true friend, a magical friend who helped me through a lot of my agonizing childhood. I protected your son while he was at Hogwarts, trying to do for him what I could not do for you.” He reached out, touched her name and continued, “I hope you consider the life debt repaid.” As he spoke, a wave of ancient magic washed over him, giving him a complete peace he had never before known and didn't quite understand.
“Thank you, Lily. Thank you for your friendship when I needed it, but most of all thank you for your understanding. As I'm certain you know, the Ministry has seen fit to meddle in my life and forced upon me a swotty, know-it-all wife. Can you imagine” he snorted “me with a wife? As asinine as it might be, she seems to care for me a great deal.” He felt the emotion welling, choking him as he continued “and I've been nothing but a shite to her. I've got to tell her I'm sorry before it's too late.”
“Goodbye Lily. I hope you have found peace on the other side of the Veil. You most assuredly deserve it.” Severus gave Lily Potter's final resting place one last look and disapparated back to Spinner's End, where he and Hermione had been spending the Yule holiday prior to going to Hogwarts for the new term.
As he walked into their house, his stomach clenched with nerves and fear. He didn't know how to go about telling Hermione about his morning and his decision about their marriage, but he knew that he must. He called out “Hermione, we need to talk.”