A Taste of Heaven
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
6,064
Reviews:
49
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
6,064
Reviews:
49
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Insecurities
A Taste of Heaven
Ch.2: Insecurities
I always liked to think of myself as confident, but the truth was that I was just as insecure as every other teenage girl, if not more so.
It was difficult to go to a magic boarding school where most, if not all, of the girls knew different charms and spells to make themselves more appealing. I had never bothered to learn those charms - always too busy studying or off on adventures with Harry and Ron. I sometimes wish that I had taken time to let Lavender or Parvati show me some things.
I'm by no means ugly - my hair had long ago lost its bushy quality and only became frizzy under extreme humidity, but the chocolate curls would always be a bit unruly. My teeth had been corrected in fourth year after Draco embarrassed me. I am petite and slender, but, honestly, don't have much of a figure. I was always worried about what Draco would think of me naked. My breasts were on the small side, can't even fill Draco's large hands, but he always said they were perfect. I now find that hard to believe considering all the big-breasted, hourglass figured girls he dates. I wasn't beautiful like Lavender or exotic like the Patil twins or stunning like Pansy, but I was passably pretty and I needed to learn that it would have to be good enough, for me at least.
Another thing I noticed about the girls he dated - their hair. All of the girls, before and after me, have had straight hair. Sometimes, it has a slight wave, but usually it is bone straight... and glossy and shiny and perfect. I never really liked my hair; it was just another part of me that was less than savory that I had to deal with. Draco told me it was one of his favorite things about my appearance, but he also told me I was beautiful. Obviously I can't take what he says at face value.
I hated this feeling. Staring at myself in the mirror, pinpointing every one of my flaws, trying to figure out what finally made him realize that he didn't want me. I don't want to call Draco shallow, but it's not like he's ever dated those less attractive girls like Millicent Bulstrode. I'm probably the closest thing to ugly he has been with.
It's a vicious cycle. I let my thoughts wander and eventually end up feeling even worse than before. What if it isn't my looks that bother him? Physical looks can be changed by spells and potions, but what if it's my personality that he can't stand? What if, in his mind, I am forever known as the prudish bookworm?
It was no secret that when we got together I was inexperienced with the opposite sex. The only interaction of the romantic kind that I had ever had was a chaste kiss after the Yule Ball in fourth year with Victor Krum. People liked to assume that we dated and what not, but come on.. He was seventeen. What seventeen year old would be interested romantically with a fourteen year old?
I liked to remember all the moments that Draco and I shared. That crucial moment under the mistletoe where we locked eyes, I had never wanted to be kissed so badly in my life. I was nervous, excited, anxious, and happy all rolled into one and I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine. I could feel it in my bones. I just wanted him so badly I could taste it and I knew then, as I know now, that I will never want anything as much ever again.
The night he took me for the first time he was gentle, romantic even. He was sweet and courteous and I would have bet my life that when he was inside me, filling me, climaxing, and marking me as his... that he whispered, "I love you." I know that I'm mistaken. I know Draco Malfoy has never said those words to anyone other than his mother and I doubt I would be the one he would start professing love to, but still.. A girl can dream.
I hate being that girl. The girl who was so hopeful that she would be the one. The one to change his ways, the one to make him fall in love. I tried so hard to not be that girl. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to think that maybe things would be different this time. Maybe I had a real chance with a well-known Casanova. It's so much worse because I knew from the beginning that I could never change him and I didn't want to change him. This is a part of him and I have no right to even try to change who he is. But, I couldn't stop myself from hoping. Sometimes he would look at me this certain way and I swear that I could see forever in his eyes. He'd blink the look away and I would have to tell myself that it was a trick of the light.
And most of all, I hated playing the part of the jilted lover. The angry ex-girlfriend who couldn't quite get over the fact that her boyfriend dumped her. Can't quite understand why he wouldn't want her. It's a horrible feeling to have.. Knowing that you just aren't enough. Knowing that no matter what you do, it won't change anything. Knowing that it really isn't your fault, it's his because he just isn't built like everyone else. I'd like to believe that he is emotionally handicapped, but I know that isn't true. I've seen his passion, his fire. I've seen it first hand; I've felt it when he's touched me, kissed me.
Sometimes late at night, I like to go over scenarios that I know would never, ever happen. I like to imagine how wonderful it would be if Draco suddenly discovered that he was part Veela and I was his mate. That he would need me as much as I need him. That he would worship and adore me. That he would love me. But then I think about how even if he was Veela... I probably wouldn't be his mate. Veelas need their equal, and I wasn't it. My mind wanders on to other schemes. Since the war was finished, what would happen if the Ministry issued an archaic marriage law and he was forced to wed a muggleborn? Why wouldn't he choose me? Because there are way better witches available than me. Knowing my luck, I'd probably get stuck married to Crabbe. No offense to the boy as he can be really sweet, but he's dumber than a bag of rocks.
None of those things would happen, but I'm still a teenage girl at heart with a healthy imagination. That was another thing... those pitying glances from everyone. The annoyed looks from some of the professors. I can tell from their looks that they were thinking 'How can she be so distraught and upset? They are barely seventeen, still children. They have no concept of what real love is.' How do they know? How can they degrade my feelings just because I'm young? What difference does it make whether I'm seventeen or seventy?
I thought I was protecting my feelings well. I thought I had hidden them so no one had to see my inner torment. I wasn't crying in public, I'd look the other way when I would see him with one of his floozies. I'd pretend that the most pressing thing on my mind was NEWTS and I thought I was doing fine. Maybe I was acting too well put together and people could see through my facade. 'Poor Hermione, putting on such a brave face.'
It's disgusting.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I wanted to kiss him... badly.
The logic I was using was that I never received a proper farewell kiss and I think I deserved one. Once I got my goodbye kiss, I should be able to box up my feelings and store them away. I was going to corner him after potions. That was my plan.
It had been two weeks since his little fling with the blonde Ravenclaw and now he was currently spending time with Padma Patil. I thought he had been there, done that with her, but I guess I was confusing her with Parvati. His never-ending parade of conquests gets blurry after awhile and it is hard to keep track of how many girls he truly has been with. I think they were in the initial flirting- but- knowing- it- would- end- up- with- her- panties- around- her- ankles- stage meaning that they were dancing around the subject of when the deed would be done. This gave me a chance to get my kiss in before he completely unleashed his charms on the unknowing Padma.
Snape signaled that potions were over and I quickly gathered my parchment. I need to get to him before he made his way to the great hall for lunch. I saw him talking quietly with Blaise Zabini and noticed Padma was waiting at the end of the corridor, most likely for him. I bit my lip and steeled my resolve. I needed to do this; it was the only way I would be able to move on.
I sidled up next to them and smiled pleasantly at them both. Zabini smiled back, but Draco just eyed me curiously.
"Excuse me, Gentlemen," I placed my hand on Draco's forearm causing both of them to stop walking, "Can I borrow Draco for a moment? I need to speak with him. Heads business and all."
Blaise smiled charmingly and Draco nodded is consent. I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him towards an empty classroom. Oh Merlin, this was bad. Just holding his hand caused warm sensations through me. It felt wonderful after weeks without his warmth. I quickly pushed him inside and closed the door, placing a locking and silencing charm on the room.
I chewed on my bottom lip nervously and paced in front of him. I don't know how I was going to do this; I honestly had no idea how I was going to work up the nerves to kiss him.
"I know by now that you know that this isn't heads business." My voice was slightly shaky and I inwardly cursed myself for my nervousness.
I glanced up at him, he was so tall. He had his arms crossed over his chest, but his brow was furrowed and his eyes looked full of concern.
"Granger, what's wrong?"
The look in his eyes, the care in his voice. I could feel my heart breaking all over again. I couldn't stop my eyes from quickly brimming with tears. I didn't want to do this to him, but it wasn't fair to me either. I knew my logic was a pitiful excuse, I knew closure wasn't on my mind at all. I was a masochist and I knew all I really wanted was to relive my happiness in his kiss.
I stepped closer to him; close enough to press the length of my body against his. I heard his breath hitch slightly as I stared up into his molten eyes. They were slowing darkening with some type of emotion that I could tell wasn't anger or lust, but I still didn't know what it was. I had to stand on my tippy toes, but I still wasn't tall enough to kiss him.
Our eyes were locked as I slid my hands up his chest, one hand wrapping around his neck to play with the hair at his nape, and the other slowly twining around his tie.
I loved him so damn much. He could be a right bastard at times and he could be cold, impersonal, and more than a little hostile, but I needed him. I felt slightly ashamed of myself for acting like such a tart, but I need him more than I need air to breathe. I would stick to my plan though; I would kiss him and let him go because I would never force myself on him, aside from what I was about to do.
He was staring at me so intently and I just; I wanted to express so much to him. I could feel a single tear trickle down my cheek and I knew it was now or never. I pulled his tie and brought his head down towards me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered against his mouth and then I was kissing Draco Malfoy...
.
.
.
...And he was kissing me back.
A/N: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ALL THE POSITIVE REVIEWS. NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE TO ADDRESS YOU ALL INDIVIDUALLY. I JUST THINK THAT IT IS GREAT THAT A LOT OF YOU VETERAN DRAMIONE WRITERS ARE GIVING MY STORY A CHANCE. YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL!
Ch.2: Insecurities
I always liked to think of myself as confident, but the truth was that I was just as insecure as every other teenage girl, if not more so.
It was difficult to go to a magic boarding school where most, if not all, of the girls knew different charms and spells to make themselves more appealing. I had never bothered to learn those charms - always too busy studying or off on adventures with Harry and Ron. I sometimes wish that I had taken time to let Lavender or Parvati show me some things.
I'm by no means ugly - my hair had long ago lost its bushy quality and only became frizzy under extreme humidity, but the chocolate curls would always be a bit unruly. My teeth had been corrected in fourth year after Draco embarrassed me. I am petite and slender, but, honestly, don't have much of a figure. I was always worried about what Draco would think of me naked. My breasts were on the small side, can't even fill Draco's large hands, but he always said they were perfect. I now find that hard to believe considering all the big-breasted, hourglass figured girls he dates. I wasn't beautiful like Lavender or exotic like the Patil twins or stunning like Pansy, but I was passably pretty and I needed to learn that it would have to be good enough, for me at least.
Another thing I noticed about the girls he dated - their hair. All of the girls, before and after me, have had straight hair. Sometimes, it has a slight wave, but usually it is bone straight... and glossy and shiny and perfect. I never really liked my hair; it was just another part of me that was less than savory that I had to deal with. Draco told me it was one of his favorite things about my appearance, but he also told me I was beautiful. Obviously I can't take what he says at face value.
I hated this feeling. Staring at myself in the mirror, pinpointing every one of my flaws, trying to figure out what finally made him realize that he didn't want me. I don't want to call Draco shallow, but it's not like he's ever dated those less attractive girls like Millicent Bulstrode. I'm probably the closest thing to ugly he has been with.
It's a vicious cycle. I let my thoughts wander and eventually end up feeling even worse than before. What if it isn't my looks that bother him? Physical looks can be changed by spells and potions, but what if it's my personality that he can't stand? What if, in his mind, I am forever known as the prudish bookworm?
It was no secret that when we got together I was inexperienced with the opposite sex. The only interaction of the romantic kind that I had ever had was a chaste kiss after the Yule Ball in fourth year with Victor Krum. People liked to assume that we dated and what not, but come on.. He was seventeen. What seventeen year old would be interested romantically with a fourteen year old?
I liked to remember all the moments that Draco and I shared. That crucial moment under the mistletoe where we locked eyes, I had never wanted to be kissed so badly in my life. I was nervous, excited, anxious, and happy all rolled into one and I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine. I could feel it in my bones. I just wanted him so badly I could taste it and I knew then, as I know now, that I will never want anything as much ever again.
The night he took me for the first time he was gentle, romantic even. He was sweet and courteous and I would have bet my life that when he was inside me, filling me, climaxing, and marking me as his... that he whispered, "I love you." I know that I'm mistaken. I know Draco Malfoy has never said those words to anyone other than his mother and I doubt I would be the one he would start professing love to, but still.. A girl can dream.
I hate being that girl. The girl who was so hopeful that she would be the one. The one to change his ways, the one to make him fall in love. I tried so hard to not be that girl. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to think that maybe things would be different this time. Maybe I had a real chance with a well-known Casanova. It's so much worse because I knew from the beginning that I could never change him and I didn't want to change him. This is a part of him and I have no right to even try to change who he is. But, I couldn't stop myself from hoping. Sometimes he would look at me this certain way and I swear that I could see forever in his eyes. He'd blink the look away and I would have to tell myself that it was a trick of the light.
And most of all, I hated playing the part of the jilted lover. The angry ex-girlfriend who couldn't quite get over the fact that her boyfriend dumped her. Can't quite understand why he wouldn't want her. It's a horrible feeling to have.. Knowing that you just aren't enough. Knowing that no matter what you do, it won't change anything. Knowing that it really isn't your fault, it's his because he just isn't built like everyone else. I'd like to believe that he is emotionally handicapped, but I know that isn't true. I've seen his passion, his fire. I've seen it first hand; I've felt it when he's touched me, kissed me.
Sometimes late at night, I like to go over scenarios that I know would never, ever happen. I like to imagine how wonderful it would be if Draco suddenly discovered that he was part Veela and I was his mate. That he would need me as much as I need him. That he would worship and adore me. That he would love me. But then I think about how even if he was Veela... I probably wouldn't be his mate. Veelas need their equal, and I wasn't it. My mind wanders on to other schemes. Since the war was finished, what would happen if the Ministry issued an archaic marriage law and he was forced to wed a muggleborn? Why wouldn't he choose me? Because there are way better witches available than me. Knowing my luck, I'd probably get stuck married to Crabbe. No offense to the boy as he can be really sweet, but he's dumber than a bag of rocks.
None of those things would happen, but I'm still a teenage girl at heart with a healthy imagination. That was another thing... those pitying glances from everyone. The annoyed looks from some of the professors. I can tell from their looks that they were thinking 'How can she be so distraught and upset? They are barely seventeen, still children. They have no concept of what real love is.' How do they know? How can they degrade my feelings just because I'm young? What difference does it make whether I'm seventeen or seventy?
I thought I was protecting my feelings well. I thought I had hidden them so no one had to see my inner torment. I wasn't crying in public, I'd look the other way when I would see him with one of his floozies. I'd pretend that the most pressing thing on my mind was NEWTS and I thought I was doing fine. Maybe I was acting too well put together and people could see through my facade. 'Poor Hermione, putting on such a brave face.'
It's disgusting.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I wanted to kiss him... badly.
The logic I was using was that I never received a proper farewell kiss and I think I deserved one. Once I got my goodbye kiss, I should be able to box up my feelings and store them away. I was going to corner him after potions. That was my plan.
It had been two weeks since his little fling with the blonde Ravenclaw and now he was currently spending time with Padma Patil. I thought he had been there, done that with her, but I guess I was confusing her with Parvati. His never-ending parade of conquests gets blurry after awhile and it is hard to keep track of how many girls he truly has been with. I think they were in the initial flirting- but- knowing- it- would- end- up- with- her- panties- around- her- ankles- stage meaning that they were dancing around the subject of when the deed would be done. This gave me a chance to get my kiss in before he completely unleashed his charms on the unknowing Padma.
Snape signaled that potions were over and I quickly gathered my parchment. I need to get to him before he made his way to the great hall for lunch. I saw him talking quietly with Blaise Zabini and noticed Padma was waiting at the end of the corridor, most likely for him. I bit my lip and steeled my resolve. I needed to do this; it was the only way I would be able to move on.
I sidled up next to them and smiled pleasantly at them both. Zabini smiled back, but Draco just eyed me curiously.
"Excuse me, Gentlemen," I placed my hand on Draco's forearm causing both of them to stop walking, "Can I borrow Draco for a moment? I need to speak with him. Heads business and all."
Blaise smiled charmingly and Draco nodded is consent. I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him towards an empty classroom. Oh Merlin, this was bad. Just holding his hand caused warm sensations through me. It felt wonderful after weeks without his warmth. I quickly pushed him inside and closed the door, placing a locking and silencing charm on the room.
I chewed on my bottom lip nervously and paced in front of him. I don't know how I was going to do this; I honestly had no idea how I was going to work up the nerves to kiss him.
"I know by now that you know that this isn't heads business." My voice was slightly shaky and I inwardly cursed myself for my nervousness.
I glanced up at him, he was so tall. He had his arms crossed over his chest, but his brow was furrowed and his eyes looked full of concern.
"Granger, what's wrong?"
The look in his eyes, the care in his voice. I could feel my heart breaking all over again. I couldn't stop my eyes from quickly brimming with tears. I didn't want to do this to him, but it wasn't fair to me either. I knew my logic was a pitiful excuse, I knew closure wasn't on my mind at all. I was a masochist and I knew all I really wanted was to relive my happiness in his kiss.
I stepped closer to him; close enough to press the length of my body against his. I heard his breath hitch slightly as I stared up into his molten eyes. They were slowing darkening with some type of emotion that I could tell wasn't anger or lust, but I still didn't know what it was. I had to stand on my tippy toes, but I still wasn't tall enough to kiss him.
Our eyes were locked as I slid my hands up his chest, one hand wrapping around his neck to play with the hair at his nape, and the other slowly twining around his tie.
I loved him so damn much. He could be a right bastard at times and he could be cold, impersonal, and more than a little hostile, but I needed him. I felt slightly ashamed of myself for acting like such a tart, but I need him more than I need air to breathe. I would stick to my plan though; I would kiss him and let him go because I would never force myself on him, aside from what I was about to do.
He was staring at me so intently and I just; I wanted to express so much to him. I could feel a single tear trickle down my cheek and I knew it was now or never. I pulled his tie and brought his head down towards me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered against his mouth and then I was kissing Draco Malfoy...
.
.
.
...And he was kissing me back.
A/N: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ALL THE POSITIVE REVIEWS. NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE TO ADDRESS YOU ALL INDIVIDUALLY. I JUST THINK THAT IT IS GREAT THAT A LOT OF YOU VETERAN DRAMIONE WRITERS ARE GIVING MY STORY A CHANCE. YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL!