Come Back To Me

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
(You Could Be Happy – Snow Patrol)

****


Lucius’ anxious grey eyes watched Severus closely. Sweat poured off the younger man’s sallow skin, dripping off the end of his hooked nose; his breathing became rapid as his eyes darted quickly beneath his shuttered eyelids. Lucius sighed: this distressed slumber had become the norm for his friend. Casting a simple Frigidus Charm once more on the bowl by his side, Lucius applied the cool, damp flannel to Severus’ forehead to alleviate his fever. He found the physical act of cooling Severus’ brow was soothing to his disquiet; he felt that he was at least doing something to help the prone man’s recuperation.

He had consulted with Healer Lewins regularly since Severus had been rescued from the Shack. He had summoned the young Healer again that morning, anxious about Severus’ fever. Lewins had Flooed over, and in order to calm Lucius fears, he had performed a series of complex diagnostic spells. However, nothing new was revealed. Severus was in much better shape than when he’d first started treating him ten months previously.

“I’m sorry, Mr Malfoy. The spells reveal no obvious cause for Mr Snape’s distress. The wound caused by the snake bite has healed as well as can be expected. The potions, brewed by Mr Snape himself, have eliminated all trace of the venom and its toxins. His previous wounds are infection free... I’m sorry, there appears to be no obvious cause for his distress.” The young Healer turned to face Lucius, concern for both men etched upon his young face. “His disquiet appears to have no physical cause. Perhaps there is something else, something that is troubling his mind, which is prolonging his recovery.” Lewins smiled weakly before making his apologies and returning to St Mungo’s.

Lucius contemplated what the Healer had told him: No obvious physical cause. Maybe a mental malady was inhibiting Severus recovery. Lucius’ mind recalled everything that had happened since the Battle: the only other obvious event connected with the fever was Severus’ distressed muttering of Miss Granger’s name. His mind made up, Lucius asked his wife to sit with Severus whilst he sent an owl to the Headmistress of Hogwarts.


****


The spring sunshine poured through the leaves on the trees surrounding the lake, casting dappled shadows on the ground below. Hermione rested her back against one of the old oak trees, her Potions text open on her knees. She stared out across the lake, recalling the service that had been held there almost a year ago for the fallen heroes of the Battle of Hogwarts.

The summer sun hung high in the May sky. The Golden trio had taken up positions towards the front of the congregated students, teachers, former students who had answered the call to fight, magical beings and, of course, representatives from the Ministry of Magic and Wizengamot. Kingsley had called everyone to silence their friendly banter in order to begin the service by clearing his throat.

“Before we begin our service, I would like to take this opportunity to make public the outcome of yesterday’s extraordinary Wizengamot meeting. It was brought to my attention by Mr Harry Potter shortly after the battle that a certain Potions master and former Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was, in fact, acting on the instructions of Albus Dumbledore. We were able to view Severus Snape’s memories, which he donated to Mr Potter, and we also had access to the diaries of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, which corroborated the memories of Severus Snape.

"It is my pleasure, as interim Minister of Magic, to publicly declare Severus Tobias Snape a war hero. As such, it is my great privilege to posthumously bestow upon Severus Snape the Order of Merlin, First Class, for services rendered to wizarding kind.” Kingsley’s baritone voice reverberated through the air. Those gathered gasped when he revealed the truth about Snape. As Kingsley finished speaking, a small ripple of applause began accompanied by shocked murmurs: Snape had managed to fool everyone with his duplicity. Slowly, the sound of applause built to a crescendo of noise as everyone gathered rose from his or her seats.

Whilst Hermione was remembering the previous year’s events, she failed to notice that Ginny was approaching. Her friend had a worried look on her face. Ginny had returned from her Quidditch practice expecting to find Hermione studying at her desk in their shared room. When she had failed to find her friend anywhere within the Gryffindor tower, she had then realised that Hermione must be down by the lake. Ginny approached Hermione with caution, careful not to startle her, as she seemed deep in thought. She sat down gently next to her friend and placed her hand lightly upon Hermione’s forearm. Hermione, startled by the light touch of Ginny’s hand upon her arm, turned. Ginny noticed that tears were beginning to form in the older girl’s eyes.

“Oh, Hermione.” Ginny pulled her friend into a tight embrace. “Come here.”

With that, Hermione could no longer hold back the tears. She missed Severus dreadfully, but she knew she needed to start to live again, not merely survive. It seemed to her, at that moment, that taking the next step would be an impossible task. She didn’t want to forget Severus or what they had come to mean to each other, but she had to accept that he was gone.

Ginny slowly wiped the tears from Hermione’s cheeks “’Mione, we all know that you miss him. Hades, I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to be back here without him, but, you’re a shell of your former self. I still miss Fred, but we have to pick up the pieces and move forward. Don’t let Severus’ death have been in vain.” Ginny pulled Hermione in closer. “I’m sure he would want you to move on, Hermione. He’s set you up for life. You have the rights to all the potions he researched; he left you Spinner's End. Please, I’m begging you as your closest friend and confidant: you have to start to live again. Don’t ever forget him, but please learn to live again.” Ginny gently stroked Hermione’s hair.

“Ginny, it’s so hard. I keep thinking I see him. I haven’t even ventured anywhere near Spinner's End yet.” Tears began to fall down her cheeks once more. “I can’t bear the thought of finding personal things that will make it seem like he’s just gone out for a walk.”

“You know, I would go with you... to help clean up Spinner's End.” Ginny rubbed Hermione’s back gently. “I know how much you love Severus, and it won’t be easy to see where he lived.”

“I’d really like that, Gin, if Harry could bear to be apart from you, that is.”

“This is more important, Hermione, helping you take that first step to moving on. I’m sure Harry will understand, and if he doesn’t... well, let’s not go there.” Ginny was relieved to see a small spark appear in Hermione’s blood-shot eyes. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. Something Ginny felt sure that they could build on.


****


Lucius had sent his owl to Minerva requesting a meeting with her at three that same afternoon. Minerva was intrigued as to why Lucius would need to speak with her: it couldn’t be regarding Draco, who had transferred to Durmstrang for the remainder of his final year. Of course, she would grant the man his meeting; after all, he remained a member of the school Board of Governors following the Malfoys’ generous donation towards the restoration fund. Turning to face the portraits behind her, she cleared her throat. “Albus, do you have any idea why Lucius would be requesting a meeting?”

“No, Minnie, I have no idea. I am intrigued as to what would cause him to seek your council.” Albus popped a lemon drop into his mouth with a slight moue, somewhat disgruntled that painted lemon drops never quiet tasted the same. “Has my dear boy moved yet?” he asked.

“No, Albus, I’m afraid there has been no sign of movement whatsoever.” Minerva sighed.

“Mmmm, how peculiar. I wonder what’s causing his lack of animation. Excuse me, Minnie: I need to go have a chat with Sir Nicholas.” With that, Albus departed his frame in search of the Gryffindor ghost.


****


Narcissa was disturbed from her needlework by Severus once more muttering Hermione’s name weakly. Casting a Frigidus Charm to cool him slightly, she gently stroked his sweat-soaked hair from his face. Caressing his cheeks, she observed the anguish that played across his face.

“Oh, Severus. If only we knew what is it was that prevents you from returning to us.” She continued to gently caress the ashen man’s haunted face, “As far as we know, Hermione is safe, studying for her NEWTs at Hogwarts. I wish we knew what troubled you so and why Miss Granger holds such a fascination for you.”


****


Lucius Apparated to the front steps of Hogwarts. Carefully, he smoothed his clothes before entering into the atrium. Minerva was there to greet him at the appointed time; she was intrigued by his appearance. The man appeared to be sleep deprived. His normally bright grey eyes had a distant look to them, and his hair hung somewhat limply around his troubled face. He did not appear as manicured as she remembered him. He still had a formidable appearance, but it was less imperious, more world weary.

“Lucius, it’s good to see you.”

“Headmistress, it is good to see Hogwarts almost back to it previous magnificent state. You have done a great job overseeing the rebuild.”

“I must thank you personally for your kind donation to the restoration fund. It enabled work to proceed almost immediately after the students left.”

The pair silently made their way to the Headmistress’ office. Muttering the password, Minerva passed through to the office, silently followed by Lucius. Sitting in one of the chairs that sat either side of the large fireplace, she indicated that Lucius should seat himself in the opposite chair.


****


Narcissa was disturbed from reading Draco’s letter by Lucius gently massaging her back. Sleepily, she turned to her husband.

“What has our boy to say for himself this week, petal?” Lucius asked.

“He has settled well: Durmstrang is very much to his liking. He has had no trouble from his fellow students, and Krum has asked him to join the Quidditch team. We made the right choice sending him away, did we not? I doubt he would have been left alone had he returned to Hogwarts.”

“On the contrary, my dear, I believe Minerva would have done all she could to guarantee his safety. But yes, the decision to send him away was for the best. He doesn’t have to worry about maintaining the secrecy around Severus’ existence.”

“So how did the meeting with Professor McGonagall go?”

“That woman... ” He sighed before composing himself. “Minerva is almost as insufferable as the old coot Albus had become.” Lucius continued to stroke his wife’s back.

“I’m sorry it didn’t go well, dearest. Did you get any answers?” Narcissa laid her own hand on top of her husband’s causing him to rest on her shoulder.

“She was initially very resistant to answering my questions, but when I played a few Slytherin moves, she soon loosened her tongue.” Narcissa’s head moved to one side. “Apparently, Severus and Miss Granger formed an alliance of sorts in the run up to the Battle of Hogwarts: he was supplying information which aided Potter in finally defeating Riddle. It would seem that they formed an... attachment of sorts. His will has left everything of any significance to the young witch.”

Narcissa regarded her husband with a look of puzzlement.“That would explain Severus’ fixation with the young witch’s name. It doesn’t explain what is keeping him comatose. I wish we knew what was trapping him; I do miss his presence, and it’s so hard sitting here caring for this ghost of a man.” Narcissa wiped a lone tear from her face.

“Hush, my pet. There was one note of interest that Minerva let slip. Miss Granger has published Severus’ Potions modifications in a new textbook, which is now being used for NEWT level students. You remember: the ones he created during your final two years at Hogwarts. That was the reason he initially came to the notice of Riddle... his ability to brew the highest quality potions whilst making some alterations to the established methodology for their brewing.”

Lucius and Narcissa’s attention was diverted from their conversation by a low groan that came from the man in the bed. A groan which was accompanied by a small twitch of his lower limbs. Husband and wife exchanged glances before returning their eyes to the man on the bed. This could be a small, yet significant step, in Severus’ recovery.


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Author's Notes: I do not own the Potterverse; it all belongs to JK Rowling and others too numerous to mention. I make no money from this fanfic; it is purely written for pleasure.

I would like to thank Scoffy for her support and unceasing encouragement without which I would have aborted this attempt at writing.

Thanks also for correcting my grammatical errors too.

Thanks also go to little_beloved for both her support and her eagle eyes which have sought out all my punctuation mistakes.

Ladies, you rock and you make my world a brighter place.