Darkness Within

a/n: This is not a pleasant chapter. I suggest you don\'t read it if you are eating anything.







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Hermione awoke to the sound of a fire crackling in a grate. Her head felt as if was about to explode with pain and her mouth felt sore and strange. Her lips were swollen and dry, and as she opened her mouth to run her tongue across them, she tasted the sharp metallic tang of blood. She winced at the sting of saliva in the very obvious split in her top lip and tried to push herself into a sitting position.



‘I wouldn’t try and move just yet, Miss Granger. You are weak and injured,’ a soft, yet oh so familiar voice murmured close to her.



Hermione opened her eyes and rubbed at them to clear her vision. She hadn’t been imagining things. Severus Snape was sitting in a tall backed leather armchair beside the fire and he was looking directly at her. He looked different. He was wearing muggle clothes, for one thing. Black denim jeans and a black cotton jumper with a V- neck. And his hair was a little different too, longer than she recalled. Funny how she could look at him and sum him up rationally, but couldn’t fathom how she was in the same room as him, or why.



‘Professor…’ she croaked, then coughed and almost choked at vomit rose in her throat. She put her hand over her mouth and he was by her side immediately.



‘This way,’ he murmured and turned her gently so her head was hanging over the side of the couch. He held her hair away from her face as she threw up, retching into a bucket that had evidently been used already for the same purpose. Her stomach was so sore she felt like crying, and as she lay back onto the soft cushions behind her, she closed her eyes, forcing back her tears and not allowing them to fall.



‘Sorry,’ she whispered.



‘It is of no consequence. Rest. I will return shortly,’ he replied softly.



Hermione watched through half-open eyelids as he lifted the bucket and walked form the room quietly. She wasn’t aware of his return. She had already fallen asleep.





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Severus stoked the fire slightly. He didn’t really need to, but he wanted to do something with his hands. Hermione had been asleep for almost three hours and he knew that when she awoke, he would need to provide her with the answers to the questions that would inevitably fall from her lips. He didn’t know what to tell her. How could he explain his reasons for following her for the last month, observing her with her paramours? He wasn’t a pervert. He derived no pleasure for his pursuit. So why?



It was a question he had asked himself time and again. In the beginning, he had intended to approach her when the opportunity presented itself. To talk to her and ask her why she was doing what she was doing, how she had sunk so low. To ask her what had happened to the brightest witch of her age. But either the chance had never occurred or he had shied away from the opportunity. Severus knew the truth and was deeply ashamed. If he had acted sooner, perhaps he could have protected her. She was here, on his couch, because he had failed her.



He poked the fire angrily and swore under his breath.



‘Professor.’



He heard her soft voice behind him and turned to face her, his eyes meeting hers as looked up at him, questioning and almost, but not quite, trusting. His stomach clenched and he walked towards her slowly.



‘How are you feeling?’ he asked her.



‘Sore. My head is banging. I need a drink. Have you got any whisky, or wine? Anything?’ Hermione pushed herself into a sitting position and pulled the soft wool blanket up to cover herself.



Severus looked at her and noticed she was starting to shake.



‘I will not be providing you with alcohol, Miss Granger. However, I have a potion that will temporarily suffice. And a pain potion, if you feel you can swallow them and not vomit them back up again?’ he raised his eyebrow in that familiar way and he noticed her mouth twitch slightly in amused recognition.



‘Throwing up is not my favourite pastime, so I’ll do my best, Sir. Otherwise, I assume it will be detention,’ Hermione smirked at him but the effect was lost as she winced at the pain in her lip. She put her hand up and felt her mouth gingerly.



‘You have a split lip. I didn’t want to heal you without your agreement,’ Severus knelt beside the couch and pulled two phials from the pocket of his jeans.



‘Where am I?’ Hermione’s eyes narrowed as she watched him.



‘In my home,’ he murmured, not looking at her as he removed the stoppers from the phials, ‘here, take these. Then I will answer your questions, of which I am sure there will be many.’ He handed the phials to Hermione with a small smirk and she snatched them from him, drinking them down greedily.



Severus watched as she started to relax and her eyes glazed over slightly. He hoped the high strength calming draught would curb her craving for alcohol long enough for her to eat and take in other liquids. She was seriously dehydrated and as a thin as a rake. The scratch marks on her arms had not gone past his attention either, but first things first.



‘Feel any better?’ he asked her softly. Her eyes focussed on his and she smiled at him gently.



‘Much. Thank you,’ she said softly.



‘Good. Now,’ Severus pulled his armchair forward and sat in it carefully, folding his hands on his lap, ‘ask away.’



Hermione looked at him and Severus could see she was trying to work out what to ask first. It wasn’t what he had expected.



‘Did we have sex?’ she murmured, her eyes gazing down at her hands.



Severus gaped at her for a moment.



‘No we did not have sex, Miss Granger. Next question,’ he snapped.



‘If we didn’t have sex, then why am I here with you?’ Hermione raised her eyes to his and he could see they were full of shiny, unshed tears.



Severus took a deep breath. Honesty would be best, he thought to himself.



‘I found you,’ he began, and then stopped as he looked at her.



His voice stuck in his throat as he took in her bushy hair, her deep amber eyes and the dark circles beneath them. This was not the girl he used to teach, or the flouted hero who fought beside the boy-who-still-bloody-lived. She was a shell of her former self and Severus could destroy her if he wasn’t careful. She wasn’t ready for this.



‘Miss Granger,’ Severus took a breath as she looked at him expectantly, ‘what happened to you?’





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