Too Much Trouble COMPLETE

A/N: In case anyone hasn't figured it out - the large chunks in italics are flashbacks unless indicated otherwise.

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Chapter 3
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“You took your time,” Sirius accused him the moment he entered the Room of Requirement.

“I had to take a detour to avoid Filch,” Remus replied, closing the door behind him and locking it.

“Why? It’s not after curfew.”

“Because he’d probably want to search this parcel for pranking materials,” explained Remus, setting set box down on the bed as he spoke.

Sirius nodded and swept a hand around the room in a grand gesture. “So, what do you think?”

Remus looked around at the large and comfortable bedchamber that the room had provided them with. “What’s through there?” he asked, pointing to a door.

“Bathroom,” Sirius replied. “We’ve got it all covered. Now, are you going to let me see what you ordered from that shop?”

Remus nodded and opened the box. Sirius threw himself onto the bed and leaned forward eagerly. One look into the box however, saw his face falling dramatically. “Books?”

“Not just books.” Remus pulled out a couple of jars and tossed one to Sirius. He opened it and cautiously sniffed the contents.

“You disappoint me, Moony,” sighed Sirius as he replaced the lid and looked back into the box, perhaps hoping that the contents might have changed. “That order form had everything on it. All sorts of toys and costumes and stuff I’d never even heard of. And you buy some lube and a load of books.”

“And these,” Remus added, pulling out a packet of condoms.

“I’ve got plenty of those anyway,” Sirius muttered. “Books! You disappoint me Moony.”

“It’s not like they’re school books,” Remus replied impatiently. “Here, take a look. You might be surprised.”

Sirius reached out and grabbed the one from the top of the pile. “Contraceptive Charms for Responsible Wizards,” he read. “You worried I’m going to knock you up?”

“Prat!”

Sirius reached for a second book. “Pleasurable Potions.” He scowled slightly and tossed it aside.

“Try this one,” Remus suggested, passing him a copy of Charming Your Way to a Successful Sex Life.

“You don’t think I’m charming enough?” Sirius teased, but opened the book anyway. “Bloody hell!” he swore. “No way! I’ve changed my mind about this. I want to be on top instead, because that looks bleeding painful.”

Remus laughed and scooted across the bed and looked at the page. The two wizards pictured where demonstrating a particularly uncomfortable looking move and from the point of view of the reader seemed to be in difficulty themselves. “That’s the ‘before’ picture,” he explained, turning the page to show the ‘after’ picture of the two wizards after the charm to make one of the couple double-jointed had been cast. “Still want to be on top?” he asked wickedly.

Sirius shook his head slightly, his mouth hanging open. “I want you to do that to me,” he whispered.

“That can be arranged,” Remus replied with uncharacteristic smugness.

“Maybe we should get undressed,” Sirius suggested, sounding more than a little hesitant now that the time had finally arrived.

Remus nodded and undid his tie, wondering why his hands were suddenly shaking and why the room suddenly seemed so very warm.

“Are you as nervous as I am?” Sirius asked.

“You’re nervous?”

“Stupid, huh?”

Remus laughed and shook his head. “Come here,” he chuckled, pulling Sirius towards him and capturing his mouth with his own. The kiss was familiar, comfortable even, and when Sirius’s tongue brushed against his own he forgot all about his nerves.

The kiss deepened and Sirius whimpered as Remus toppled him backward onto the bed. One of books fell to the floor with a thud, but neither of them noticed.

Remus could feel Sirius’s hands in his hair, drifting down his back, pulling him closer with a firmness that was bordering on the very edge of demanding. He could feel Sirius’s erection through their clothes and rubbed his own arousal against him. He pulled back to suck in a deep breath of air and looked down at Sirius.

Grey eyes, trusting and familiar gazed back up at him. He reached for the buttons of his shirt and slowly undid them. Sirius was watching his every move, the grey eyes becoming darker and darker with each inch of flesh that Remus revealed.

Sirius watched Remus unbutton his shirt without saying a word. Remus wondered if it would be too cruel to slow down his movements even more, but when he stilled his hand a dog-like growl from Sirius warned him that if he didn’t get on with it he’d lose the upper hand he currently had. Remus knew that if he teased him too much Sirius would turn the tables on him rather rapidly.

The last of the buttons were finally undone and Remus shed his shirt, tossing it to the floor. “You usually take better care of your clothes than that,” Sirius teased.

“Forget the shirt,” Remus replied with a grin. “Just let me take care of you.”

Sirius smiled as Remus turned his attention to his own shirt, slowly unbuttoning it and depositing soft, brief kisses on every inch of is chest as he worked his way down.

Remus kissed his way down Sirius’s chest, teasing him with his tongue and cherishing every whimper and moan that he coaxed from the other young man’s lips.

“Remus,” Sirius gasped, raising his hips again. “We’re still wearing far too many clothes.”

“You’re quite observant,” Remus commented as he scooted backwards, far enough to give Sirius room to sit up and remove his shirt completely, but not far enough to free his legs. Sirius however, always impatient, wasted no time in reaching for his belt. Remus didn’t let him get very far though; he slapped his hands away from the buckle and shook his head in mock disappointment.

Sirius grinned at him teasingly. “You know, for someone with so much experience, you should know that we’ll need to remove our trousers if we’re going to actually have sex.”

“Oh, we’ll be removing them,” Remus promised him with a wicked grin. “But I’d like to unwrap this particular treat myself.” He reached his hand down and cupped Sirius through the material. Sirius moaned loudly and sank back onto the bed at the contact.

“Like that do you?” Remus teased, giving another teasing squeeze.

“Fuck!” Sirius cried, arching off the bed, his eyes rolling back in his head his orgasm crashed over him.

“Sweet Merlin!” he rasped once he’d recovered his voice. He leaned up on his elbows and looked down at the embarrassing stain on the front of his trousers. “Not exactly how I wanted this to happen,” he muttered. “Coming in my pants like some horny kid who’s just had his first wet dream.”

“Sirius?”

“Don’t,” Sirius pleaded. He pushed Remus off of him and turned his flushed face away from the questioning gaze. “It’s humiliating enough already. The Great Sirius Black, who can’t even control himself long enough to get undressed.”

“Oh for the love of Merlin!” Remus snapped. “Will you just get over it? So what if you came a bit early? We’ve got all night and I’m about as close as I can get myself.”

“You are?” Sirius asked, sounding ridiculously hopeful.

Remus snorted with humour and took hold of Sirius’s hand. “What do you think?” he asked, placing Sirius’s hand over his own erection and moaning deeply at the hesitant touch. Sirius increased the pressure and rubbed him through his trousers.

“Yeah…like that…” he gasped. He moved his hands so that he was clinging to Sirius’s shoulders, twisting round so that he was straddling Sirius’s lap again. He thrust forward into Sirius’s hand, encouraging him to increase the pressure even more.

His own brown eyes locked with Sirius’s grey ones and Sirius’s smile was the last thing he saw before he threw back his head and cried out as he found his own shuddering release.

“Did you bring a change of clothes?” Sirius asked as he stared up at the ceiling.

“No, did you?”

“Nope. I guess we’ll have to get the room to provide some.”

“Sounds good to me.”

The two boys lay quietly for a long while, neither of them wanting to break the mood. “Remus?” Sirius asked.

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to try again?”

Remus chuckled. “I’m game if you are.”

Sirius sat up and tugged off the rest of his clothes, urging Remus to do the same. “I’ve seen all the scars before now,” he pointed out when Remus turned aside to shield the worst of them from his gaze.

“I know,” Remus whispered.

“Then turn around,” Sirius ordered. Remus could do nothing except obey the quietly spoken command. He drew in a shaky breath as Sirius’s fingers traced the longest of the scars, his lips following the trail down his left thigh.

“My turn,” Remus insisted after Sirius had covered every last millimetre of the old wound.

“Just don’t drag it out too long,” Sirius warned with a rueful grin.

Remus laughed as he playfully pushed Sirius back onto the pillows and manoeuvred himself so that he was positioned between his legs. He looked about the bed for a moment until Sirius pointed to the jar that he’d briefly examined earlier. “You think there’s going to be enough in that little jar?” he asked as Remus undid the lid.

“Plenty. It replenishes itself and what you actually get is more than ten times this.”

“Planning on being busy, were we?”

“Of course,” Remus replied with a grin. “You know I can’t get enough of you.”

“I just hope I can get all of you,” Sirius smirked, although when he began eyeing Remus’s groin and the clear evidence of how much he wanted him it wasn’t without a great deal of trepidation.

“We’ll take it slow,” Remus promised, dipping his fingers into the jar and then reaching between Sirius’s legs.

“Shit! That’s cold!” Sirius swore at the first touch of Remus’s finger.

“The other jar’s a warmer alternative,” Remus suggested, pulling his hand away to look for the other one. “It’s got warming charms on it that last as long as the contents.”

Sirius shook his head and leaned up to grab Remus’s wrist. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to wait any longer. Please.” He guided Remus’s hand back between his legs, only releasing his grip when he was sure that Remus wasn’t going to stop touching him again.

He sank back into the pillows, wincing slightly as Remus inserted a single finger into his entrance. He drew in a sharp breath as Remus moved his finger back and forth, searching him, stretching him, and making him writhe about on the bed.

“Like that, do you?” Remus whispered after Sirius had released a particularly loud groan and arched off the bed.

“More!” Sirius begged. Remus complied by inserting a second finger and Sirius cried out at the unfamiliar intrusion.

“Don’t think I’m going to be going out on my broom for a few days,” he joked weakly.

“You want me to stop?” Remus asked, his fingers halting their exploration.

Sirius looked up into Remus’s serious eyes and shook his head. “Never,” he rasped, tilting his hips upward to mirror the movements of Remus’s gently thrusting fingers.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Sirius promised. “Or I won’t mind at least.”

Remus raised an eyebrow in question at the comment.

“I mean this hurts a bit right now,” Sirius explained. “But it’s still good. I know I’m not making any sense, but I want this so much I don’t care how much it hurts. I just want…need…please Remus…please.”

Remus nodded and caressed Sirius’s cheek with his free hand. Sirius grabbed the hand and placed a kiss in the palm. “Please, Remus,” he repeated.

Remus reached for the packet of condoms and the already opened jar in order to prepare himself. “You ready?” he asked as he positioned himself at Sirius’s entrance. Sirius tilted his hips in response and Remus ran his hands down his legs, raising the limbs to rest over his shoulders. Then Sirius’s hands were reaching forward to grasp at him, urging him forward.

Sirius’s eyes were shut tightly, but that did nothing to hide the pain that tore through him as Remus slowly pushed his way inside.

“I’m sorry,” Remus whispered, straining forward to plant a soft kiss on Sirius’s trembling lips. Sirius didn’t hesitate as he kissed him back and as Sirius thrust his tongue into his mouth, he felt his hands pulling him forward, forcing him to take the final step.

They gasped into each other’s mouths as Remus shuddered at the sensation of being buried to the hilt in the body of the man he loved.

Remus opened his eyes and looked down at Sirius. His breathing was ragged and he reached out to grasp one of Sirius’s hands with his own. Sirius squeezed his fingers back and opened his eyes. “You okay?” Remus asked quietly.

Sirius nodded, but the grimace on his face betrayed his pain. “Are you going to move or just kneel there?” he teased, raising his hips ever so slightly.

“You’re sure?”

Sirius nodded again. “This is no time to be cautious,” he stated, moving again, this time causing Remus to suck in his breath.

Remus nodded, planted a brief kiss on Sirius’s lips, and then he began to move. He pulled out slightly, pushing back in again at a slightly different angle. With each thrust Sirius’s eyes lost a little more of their pain, until on the fifth one he began to move with him in earnest.

“So…close…” Sirius breathlessly panted as Remus found just right the angle to brush against his prostate. “Just…a little…more.”

Remus complied and repeated the movement with a little more force. He was rewarded with Sirius’s cry of pleasure and the sound was enough to send him over the edge. He came with a harsh cry of his own as he collapsed into Sirius’s arms.

“Damn!” Sirius swore. “That was…”

“Too quick,” Remus finished, scowling slightly. He reached down to gently stroke Sirius’s still rather impressive erection. “Kind of left you behind, didn’t I?”

Sirius chuckled. “There are so many ways I want to reply to that.”

Remus laughed as well as he sat up. “How about I take care of this for you?” he offered, tightening his grip only slightly. Sirius nodded sharply and Remus scooted down the bed to kneel between Sirius’s wide-spread legs once more.

Remus bent over and kissed Sirius’s hip bone, rubbing his cheek against the erection as he moved to the other hip to do the same.

“Tease,” Sirius scolded.

Remus chuckled again and planted a quick kiss on the tip of Sirius’s cock. “You’ll pay for that,” he warned. Sirius moaned, loud and long, as Remus ran his tongue along the underside of his erection.

“Oh, that feels good,” Sirius said as Remus’s nimble fingers joined his tongue. “What about…?” he rasped out between the moans and whimpers. He gestured vaguely towards where Remus had tossed the rest of the contents of the parcel.

Remus drew back, surprised that Sirius had remembered what he’d forgotten in the heat of the moment. “Be right back,” he quipped. “Don’t you be going anywhere.”

Sirius laughed as Remus crawled to the end of the bed and looked around for the rest of the box of condoms. “I think they fell on the floor.”

“I think you’re right,” Remus replied. He bent over the edge of the bed and reached down towards the floor. When he pulled himself back up and turned round he was only vaguely surprised to see that Sirius had been checking out his arse. He grinned at him and gave a small, teasing wriggle as he thumbed his way through the box.

“Bloody hell, Remus, just grab one, they’re all the same aren’t they?” Sirius complained after several minutes of Remus looking at first one and then another of them.

“No, they’re not the same,” Remus replied distractedly as he tossed one aside and picked up another.

“As long as they do the job, does it really matter? You didn’t take this long picking the one you’re wearing.”

“That’s because I wasn’t planning on putting that one in either of our mouths.”

“You got flavoured ones?” Sirius guessed, sitting up and picking up one of the discarded sheaths. “And you threw away a chocolate flavoured one?”

“You found it!” Remus exclaimed, plucking the condom from between Sirius’s fingers and tossing the rest aside.

“You know, I’m feeling a little insulted that you’d rather taste ‘a flavour Honeydukes would envy’ than me.”

“It’s not that,” Remus sighed. “But we’ve both been with girls and while neither of us has been what you’d call promiscuous…” Sirius raised a brow and smirked. “All right,” Remus amended. “What I’d call promiscuous. Anyway, I just think we should be careful, at least until we can get time to practice some of those contraceptive charms.”

“Remus, I was only teasing,” Sirius assured him, pulling him into a one-armed hug and kissing him lightly on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re the sensible one. After all, one of us has to be. Now, how about you pass that back here so I can put it on?”

“You don’t want me to put it on you?” Remus teased.

“I doubt I have enough control to keep still long enough if you try,” Sirius admitted as he tore the wrapper open and moved back to the other end of the bed to put it on.

“Ready?” Remus asked a minute later.

“More than,” Sirius replied with a pointed look at his erection. He spread his legs wider and beckoned Remus with a crook of his finger. Remus responded to the gesture by crawling back into position, leaning down and taking the engorged flesh into his mouth.

Sirius bucked beneath him, thrusting upwards as Remus sucked him deep into his mouth. Sirius’s hands were in his hair, tugging at the brown locks and Remus gripped at the sheets as he tried to maintain his rhythm in the wake of Sirius’s increasingly frantic thrusts.

“Love you!” Sirius cried out a moment before he reached his climax. Remus felt him go limp in his mouth and he pulled back to look at Sirius’s contented face.

“I love you too,” Remus whispered as he curled up in Sirius’s arms.

“Don’t lets fight again,” Sirius replied as he pulled Remus close. “Not that this make up sex wasn’t great.”

Remus chuckled. “I’d hate it if the only time we ever did this was after a fight.”

“It won’t be,” Sirius promised, his words punctuated with a wide yawn. “It isn’t like we’re fighting now, and I think we should do this again just as soon as we wake up.”

“You do, huh?”

“You mean you don’t want to?” Sirius asked.

Remus chuckled at Sirius’s disappointment. “Don’t be daft. We have the rest of those books to work our way through.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what we’ve just done is barely the start. And as much as I like the taste of chocolate, I’d much rather we get a hang of those contraceptive charms so I can taste you properly.”

“Maybe I’ll start cracking open a few books myself,” Sirius agreed in a tired voice as they snuggled closer.

Remus smiled to himself and closed his eyes. It wasn’t long before Sirius’s breathing evened out into a steady rhythm, and only then did Remus succumb himself.

-o-xXx-o-

Cold showers were the answer, Remus told himself as he stood beneath the icy water. It had been five days since Sirius had touched him, even in a purely platonic way. Remus was starting to suspect that Sirius was avoiding him, though he couldn’t even begin to guess why.

Sirius was leaving for work early in the mornings, arriving home late at night, sometimes smelling strongly of alcohol, and had spent barely two minutes together in Remus’s company.

The full moon was the following night and Remus wondered if he could expect Padfoot’s company at all. With Peter’s help he had finally produced the Wolfsbane potion and had no worries about that at least. But he knew that the wolf missed Padfoot just as much as he was missing Sirius, and had a sneaking suspicion that he’d be spending the night alone.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius was getting highly irritated with his doubles, especially those from Slytherin house. It seemed to him that they were arguing the toss with him on every single suggestion he made. It didn’t matter what he said, one of Slytherins took it upon himself to refuse to co-operate.

The latest argument revolved around whether to lock the werewolf in one of the dormitories or whether to give him free range around the rest of the quarters and for everyone else to be barricaded in the dorms.

Sirius knew that it would be easier on them all if the wolf had room to move about and to play with the two dogs. Unfortunately, the Slytherins weren’t prepared to listen to that argument and insisted that keeping the wolf confined to as small a room as possible was the way to go.

“The first year dorm is perfectly adequate.”

“The wolf needs room to run about,” Sirius argued. “The common room’s the largest area. If he has room to move about and play he won’t try to get to you.”

“The doors aren’t exactly in great shape if you’re wrong about that.”

“Then use what used to be the girls’ dorms,” Sirius snapped. “You should be able to get up the slide but the wolf won’t. His claws won’t be able to get a grip on it.”

“We don’t even know if it turns into a slide or not. Just because it does in our world doesn’t mean it does in this one. This is a prison, not a school.”

“Then go and bloody test it!” Sirius yelled. He pointed at the staircase in question and gave a grunt of satisfaction as Hufflepuff-Sirius put a foot on the stairs, triggering the mechanism that turned it into a slide.

“Guess the place used to be a school after all,” Sirius commented.

“It did,” muggle-Sirius interrupted. “When I came here I’d never heard of Hogwarts and they told me it used to be a school until the Headmaster went nuts and they turned it into his prison instead.”

“And now it’s ours,” Sirius replied.

-o-xXx-o-

The following day Remus wandered idly down Diagon Alley, his nose buried in the Daily Prophet’s classified section. He wasn’t seeing the adverts though, instead his mind was entirely on Sirius and before he knew it he’d walked through the door to the office where Sirius worked.

“Afternoon Amy,” he greeted the perky blonde receptionist. “Is Sirius about?”

“Sirius?” Amy echoed in surprise. “He’s not been in all week. We’ve not heard from him since the day he flooed in sick. Max is real mad about it, said if he hasn’t put in an appearance by the end of the week he’ll fire him. He’s already docking his wages for the missed days.”

“Wait a minute,” Remus interrupted. “You’re telling me that Sirius hasn’t been in to work in nearly a week?”

“That’s right.”

“But he’s been leaving for work and coming back late every night…”

“And that doesn’t tell you he’s up to something dodgy?” Amy scoffed. “Sirius used to slip out of work early every chance he could.”

“He said he was getting in trouble for slacking off,” Remus replied defensively.

“Well, he certainly is now.”

“Don’t suppose you have any idea where he is?”

“You could try the Leaky Cauldron.”

“I came into the Alley that way,” Remus replied with a shake of his head.

“There’s always the Cross-Eyed Dragon down Knockturn.”

Remus frowned at the idea of Sirius spending his day in a pub so dingy it made the Hogs Head seem classy. “Thanks,” he said as he turned to leave.

Remus made his way towards Knockturn Alley, wondering what had happened to cause Sirius to ditch both work and himself for the best part of a week.

-o-xXx-o-

“It’s starting.”

Sirius turned to his werewolf double and nodded calmly. “Don’t worry,” he said. “They’re all safely out of the way upstairs. Just the two of us to keep you from dying of boredom.”

The other Sirius with the ability to turn into a dog had already changed form, and Sirius followed his example a moment later.

“So strange,” werewolf-Sirius chuckled. “I always wondered what my animagus form would be.”

Sirius wondered if Remus had ever wondered the same thing, and he made a mental note to ask him once he was back home.

All too soon the moon had risen and the sound of howling echoed through the dungeons. Occasionally the sounds of two barking dogs joined the howls, as the two animaguses played with the wolf and kept him from harming himself.

-o-xXx-o-

The Cross-Eyed Dragon was practically empty when Remus pushed his way through the door. The only customers were two middle-aged witches, cackling away in one of the dimly lit corners.

“You lost?” the barman asked as Remus approached the bar.

“Looking for someone,” Remus replied.

“Gonna cost yer.” The barman smirked and gestured towards the dusty bottles behind him.

“I’ll have a butterbeer,” Remus asked, digging into his robes for the money.

“Butterbeer!” The barman laughed loudly and it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “We don’t serve butterbeer in ‘ere.”

“Firewhiskey then,” Remus amended.

“That’ll be ten galleons.”

“What?” Remus spluttered. “You can’t charge that for a single firewhiskey.”

“You’re the one wanting information. That means I can charge what I want. Ten galleons.”

“I don’t have ten galleons,” Remus argued.

“Then I don’t know anything.”

“I’m just looking for my…er…”

“I don’t care. No money, no information. Yer got that?”

Remus narrowed his gaze and glared at the barman. The full moon was that night and he really didn’t have time to be chasing Sirius all around London. He just wanted to talk to him, to make sure that things were still okay between them. He didn’t want to be here in the dive to end all dives, arguing with a barman about the price of information. “Maybe you don’t understand me,” Remus suggested as he leaned across the bar. The growl came easily with the full moon so close. He didn’t know if his eyes changed into those of the wolf, or whether it was merely the age-old case of a bully not liking the tables being turned. Whatever it was, the barman blanched as Remus leaned towards him. “Sirius Black, you know him?”

“Everyone knows the Black family.”

“You seen him recently?”

“Not been in today.”

“When has he been in?”

“Two days ago.”

“If he comes back today, tell him Remus is looking for him.” Remus stepped back and saw the fear vanish from the barman’s eyes. It was instantly replaced with a look of annoyance, though who it was aimed at he didn’t know.

“I aint no bleeding messenger boy.”

“You’re a barman who has no idea who he’s dealing with,” Remus hissed.

“Yer think yer the first werewolf to come in ‘ere?” the barman asked. “Far from it. Now get out. Yer barred.”

“I don’t know how I’ll bear the deprivation,” Remus muttered sarcastically as he stalked out the door and into the marginally fresher air of Knockturn Alley.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius bounded around the common room, leaping over furniture as he chased the werewolf round the room.

Dimly, he was aware that the wolf was acting differently to how Remus did on the nights of the full moon. Remus never swatted him with his paws, preferring to nuzzle him with his snout as they interacted. Sirius recalled that it had always been like that and wondered how it had taken so long for him to realise what it was they felt for each other.

Since they’d discovered the world with the Wolfsbane potion, the full moons had taken on a new aspect, with Remus being more like an animagus than a werewolf. Only the pain of the transformations marked the difference.

He wondered how Remus was handling the full moon that night, and thought about the coincidence that had caused the two worlds to experience a full moon on the same night. He hoped that Peter or James had prepared the Wolfsbane for Remus. He had no doubt that the impostor who had taken his place wouldn’t have given it a second thought, even if he knew about the potion.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus drank his last goblet of Wolfsbane an hour before sunset. He’d checked every pub he could think of but had found no trace of Sirius. He knew he would make it through the full moon without him, the Wolfsbane made sure of that, but he was desperate to know where Sirius had disappeared to. The lingering worry that something was badly wrong had increased throughout the day and he would be glad when the full moon had passed.

It was nearly one o’clock when Sirius finally arrived home. Remus was curled up on the sofa, heedless of the fur he’d be shedding on the fabric. He’d meant to stay awake, but must have drifted off at some point because the sound of drunken laughter woke him up.

“My friends will be wondering where I’ve disappeared to.” The female voice was high and breathy and the words were punctuated with a loud hiccup.

“We can always go back and get them,” Sirius suggested. “If you feel up to sharing the goods.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

Remus’s ears had perked up and he looked over the back of the sofa towards the door. Sirius was wrapped around the redhead and steering her expertly towards the bedroom. He growled loudly, causing the woman to jump and look in his direction.

“I didn’t know you had a dog,” she commented.

“My roommate’s,” Sirius replied with a smirk at Remus. “He’ll just curl up on the sofa for the night, no trouble at all.”

“He looks kind of big.”

“He’s part wolf,” Sirius explained.

“Does he bite?” The redhead sounded nervous and Remus watched as she edged further backwards, unknowingly towards the bedroom.

“He won’t hurt you,” Sirius promised. “Now, how about we move things through to the bedroom?”

The redhead looked a little unsure but let herself be guided towards the open door.

“We’ll lock the door,” Sirius assured her. “He won’t trouble us.”

I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Remus thought to himself, resolving to wait things out until morning. It wouldn’t do to get into a fight whilst he was in his werewolf form – there was no telling what his temper would result in.

-o-xXx-o-

“Is it safe?”

Sirius looked towards the staircase and contemplated ignoring the sounds of the other Siriuses emerging.

“Yeah,” werewolf-Sirius called out in a weak voice. “You can come down now. The monster’s gone for the month.”

“You’re not a monster,” Sirius commented automatically.

“That’s what Remus tells me.”

“You should listen to him. Remus usually knows what he’s talking about.”

“Usually?”

“In my world he’s a werewolf and sees himself as a monster,” Sirius admitted quietly. “Though I’m trying to convince him otherwise.”

“You’re not helping your argument.”

“Maybe not, but I’m still right. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you and Remus…you know…together?”

“Together?” werewolf-Sirius asked in confusion. “We’re mates, best mates, along with James and Peter. We’re all in Gryffindor together. Or we were until last year.”

“I meant are you a couple?”

“A couple?” one of the Slytherin Siriuses asked with a sneer. “What are you? Some sort of shirtlifter?”

“Yeah, aren’t you?” Sirius sneered back. He looked around the room and saw one head after another shaking in reply to his question. There was only one double in the room nodding, and that was one of the Slytherins.

“I’m not with this Remus,” the Sirius who had given the positive response added. “Don’t really know him, different house and all that.”

“Different worlds,” Sirius sighed. “Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m shattered.” He turned to werewolf-Sirius. “Think you can make the stairs?”

“Yeah. Thanks for helping out last night.”

“Pleasure was all mine,” Sirius replied as he walked towards the staircase. “I just hope Remus made it through the night okay without me.”

“You said he had that miracle potion, surely that helped?”

“Yeah, I just can’t help worrying about him.”

-o-xXx-o-

Remus tugged on his jeans and made his way towards the bedroom. His wand was in his hand as he pushed open the door.

“Moony,” Sirius greeted him from the bed.

Remus took in the scene with the eyes of a man who’d done nothing but think the previous night. He raised his wand and pointed it at Sirius.

“I know just what you like, and just how you like it,” Remus stated coldly. “I know every sound of pleasure you make, every moan, every cry. The wolf has amazingly good hearing and yet I didn’t hear one of those sounds last night.”

“Just because I wasn’t as noisy as I usually am…” Sirius interrupted. “It’s a bit different when you’re with a girl, not that you’d know anything about that.”

“Shut up!” Remus snapped impatiently. “I don’t know how you got here, or what you’ve done with Sirius, but you’re going to tell me right now.”

“What are you talking about? I’m Sirius.”

“No, you’re not. At least you’re not the one from this world.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Where’s Sirius?” Remus asked calmly.

“I’m right here.”

“Where’s my Sirius?” Remus clarified. “And don’t even pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about or I’ll AK you in a heartbeat.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Try me.”

“You don’t have it in you to kill me.”

“Where is he?” Remus growled.

Sirius looked back at him and scowled, clearly knowing that the game was up. “Somewhere you’ll never find him. You’ll have to get used to this Sirius instead. Though I think we should set down a few ground rules. First of all, I don’t want you touching me ever again. It might be best if you move out, I’ll give you until the end of the week, but then I want you gone.”

Remus listened as Sirius laid out the ground rules and tried not to appear amused at the idea of him obediently following them. “Have you finished?” he asked.

“I think that’s about it, yeah,” Sirius replied. “Now be a good little wolfie and go make me and the chick some breakfast.”

Remus ignored the request and instead silently cast a full body bind on the impostor in his bed. Then he returned to the main room of the flat and grabbed the floo powder. Dumbledore would know what to do, he decided as he threw the powder into the flames. Dumbledore always knew what to do.