Draco’s Remorse

McGonagall looked worriedly at Hermione. If what she had told was true, and of course it was, Hermione wouldn’t lie about something like that, McGonagall had to act fast to limit the risk of some Death Eater finding the passageway. “We’ll need to contact the Order as quickly as possible,” she said looking from Hermione to Draco; who was leaning nonchalantly up against the door, not a hint of emotions in his eyes. Frightening how much he looked like his father when he had been Draco’s age. McGonagall hoped that Dumbledore had been right in believing that the young man had a good heart, and that it wasn’t an act. It was a family trait for Malfoy’s to be able to switch sides to save their own skin.

“Shall I inform Harry and Ron?” Hermione asked with her back to Draco. She couldn’t bear to see him looking so non-caring and cold after she had seen the mask shatter. “I think they would like to help.” Hermione decided to overlook Draco right now and talk to him later. “Yes, please do that,” McGonagall rose from her chair, “and afterwards please return to this office, both of you.” The Headmistress looked directly at Draco. “The order will want to hear both versions of the night’s events.” Draco stared back with an icy look in his eyes. “I think the Order would prefer NOT to!” The venom in his voice made Hermione spin round and gape at him, as Draco continued, “it’s not like they trust me anyway!” he said grimacing, looking hurt and spiteful at the same time. He turned away and walked out the door, pushing by Hagrid growling “Move,” as he passed.

Hermione sat dumbstruck with tears forming in her eyes. How could he change so dramatically from one minute to the next? She started to apologise on his behalf, her voice quivering from holding back the tears. “It’s alright, Hermione… He’s just a hoodlum much like his father!” Hagrid squeezed Hermione shoulder smiling comfortingly at her. Hermione shook her head; she knew he wasn’t the bastard all thought him to be. Draco was as far away from being like his father as Harry was from being a Death Eater. “He has changed… I saw it tonight… You judge him by his father’s evil actions,” a tear ran down Hermione’s cheek. “Please give him a chance!” she pushed away from her chair and hurried after Draco. “Wa’sit something I said?” Hagrid looked befuddled. McGonagall frowned and shook her head. “She’s right… We can’t be taking Lucius’ crimes out on Draco… But I think we have,” she sighed. It was times like this she missed Albus the most. “Let’s contact the Order, we can’t forget that the students’ safety is at stake,” the Headmistress waved Hagrid out and walked up to the fireplace.


Draco was fuming… Like the Order of the Phoenix would EVER trust him… Did the Headmistress really think that he, Draco Malfoy, would sit calmly and controlled in a room of people that hated him just for being a Malfoy? He didn’t trust them… They didn’t trust him! So why even try… His mother had begged him to try to control his temper, but when confronted and put down by his father’s deeds he lost it. Maybe he should just run… Leave this place… It wasn’t like Voldemort was out there any more. Draco stared out of the small windows as he ascended the spiral staircase leading to the astronomy tower. What was the point anyway? It would be easier just to go… Who would miss him? He needed some fresh air and some time to think. He knew of some glamour spells; he could change his eye colour, hair colour and even body shape… He could disappear and no one would know he was son of the infamous Lucius Malfoy… As he opened the door to the outside he took a deep breath… To disappear, to be free, hell, even to cease to be! He didn’t notice that he wasn’t alone as he walked slowly to the low walls around the platform.

“Now aren’t we just a little golden ray of sunshine…" A voice sounded from behind him. Draco closed his eyes and scowled. “Fuck off, Potter!” he hissed and leaned against the wall… It would be so easy… He looked down toward the ground below… So easy… Draco closed his eyes again… It was so tempting.

Harry stared at Malfoy. What the hell was he up to? It looked almost like he was about to jump off the tower! “Are you all right?” Harry’s voice sounded worried. Draco just laughed a short, hard laugh; like Harry even cared if he jumped or not? Not that he thought he would ever go through with it, but he liked to come up here and check from time to time. “Don’t pretend to care, Potter! It’s unbecoming of you to lie!” Draco turned around and looked straight at Harry.
Harry was shocked by the bitter look in Draco’s eyes. “I…I know we’ve been enemies since first year… But I don’t particular want to see you jump of the tower and leave a mess on the ground… What's more, the war is over and people have to learn to trust each other, regardless of their bloodline… Don’t you agree?”

Draco frowned. He didn’t entirely trust Harry’s words. Why would Potter treat him nice after all those years of being harassed? He considered what Potter had to gain from this. Putting his hands on the low wall behind him and leaning back, he suddenly felt the bricks give way under his hands and slide off the edge. Panic blazing in his eyes, Draco waved his arms to try to gain back his balance, but in vain. He stumbled over the edge with a scream of fear. He didn’t want to die! Then he felt hands grasping his ankle.

Harry saw that the blocks of stone gave away under Draco’s weight. He reacted without hesitating and jumped forth and got a firm grip of Draco’s ankle just as he fell from the tower. Harry could hear Draco groaning in fear and told him to relax and that he wouldn’t let go. Thinking like mad about how he could get Draco back up again, it hit him that Draco had to have his wand with him. “Try to cast Levicorpus on yourself!” Harry shouted as he couldn’t do it with out letting go of Draco’s ankle. “Wha…. What?” Draco yelped, clearly in a state of horror. “Cast le-vi-cor-pus, it will make you float in midair… Trust me for crying out loud!” Harry hissed through his teeth and 3 seconds later Draco hung upside down a few feet from the tower. Harry had to fight breaking into laughter, it wasn’t the best time. And judging from the look of a mixture of thankfulness and rage in Draco’s eyes, Harry better get him back on the platform in a hurry.

Back on his feet, Draco brushed the dust and dirt of his clothes and murmured “thank you” not looking into Harry’s eyes. Harry didn’t say anything for some time, and then in a curious voice he asked if Draco really was planning to jump. Draco stopped dusting himself and slowly raised his eyes to meet Harry’s. “I don’t know… I honestly don’t know,” he sighed. “This time it was more tempting than ever!” Harry sat down on the tower floor, tilting his head, studying the boy in front of him as if it was the first time he saw him. He hadn’t taken Draco for a suicide-candidate. “Why?” he
asked “Why don’t you want to live?”

Draco lay back onto the cold tower floor and stared into space. “Why should I want to live?” his voice was low and all of a sudden he seemed fragile and not the tough, smirking boy Harry knew. “Nobody really believes that I didn’t want to kill Dumbledore. They just think that I didn’t get the chance because Snape wanted the glory. Add to that the fact that my own house doesn’t even trust me, before it was just the rest of the houses. If I enter the Slytherin common room all the chatter stops and even though my fellow Slytherins smiles at me, I can feel that they just want me to go away.” Draco closed his eyes and whispered mostly to himself that he wished that he could go somewhere where nobody knew of him or his family.

“If you find that place, please check if they know of ‘The boy who lived’.” Harry’s voice sounded so harsh that Draco rose onto his elbows and stared at him. Harry laughed when he saw how puzzled Draco looked. “Oh yes… I’ve stared out over that stupid wall a couple of times in the last months… Why, you ask? Well, all my wizard life I’ve battled Voldie and become this… this legendary Hero… But now what…? I have no real family left… Everybody always wants to talk Voldemort with me… My only two friends have their families waiting for them when they graduate… Me? I have a house-elf that hates me and a damp old smelly house to look forward to.” Harry sounded so bitter. “So, yes… It would be so easy to end it all… Quite pathetic don’t you think? The world’s greatest hero considering jumping of a tower, because he feels he has no place in the world!”

Draco stared at Harry. Then a smile started to spread across his face, turning into a grin and finally making Draco lay back down onto the platform laughing out loud. Harry first thought that Draco had lost the last of his marbles, but then he could see what was so funny and surrendered to the laughter bubbling inside him.

Two archenemies standing in the same tower considering jumping because they felt lonely and couldn’t see any purpose for living then confiding to each other their deepest darkest thoughts. It was the most ridiculous thing ever! Harry crawled over and lay down beside Draco, both still cackling almost hysterically. The door opened and when they saw Hermione’s bamboozled look they laughed even harder.

“Erm… have you both gone mad?” Hermione looked from one to the other as they tried to regain control of their laughter. But it was no use, because every time they looked at each other they burst into laughter all over again. Hermione frowned, wondering if they were intoxicated. Shaking her head she said, “The Headmistress wants to see us all… Including you, Draco!” and adding in a low whisper “What the hell happened here?” Turning, she began descending the stairway.

Still giggling like girls Harry and Draco followed close behind Hermione, retrieving more self-control by each step. And when they reached the Headmistress’ office they were both serious. Hermione had told Harry of the secret passageway on their way to the office and Harry knew it was risky and dangerous if it were found by a death eater. They had to block it by strong magic and maybe even seal the passageway completely the Muggle way, meaning filling it with stones and concrete.


McGonagall stood by the fireplace talking to Mad-Eye Moody, both looked stern and clearly worried. “… if there is more?” Minerva said frowning as Moody put his rough hand on her shoulder. “If there is, we’ll find them… I promise!” He sent her a smile that was supposed to comfort, but the scars made it into a bizarre grimace instead. “Hallo, youngsters… Been good?” His magic eyes spun around and “looked” at them through the back of his head.

Draco twitched at the sight of Mad-Eye… Even though it wasn’t really Moody that had turned him into a ferret in their 4th year, Draco’s memory was linked to the physical form that was Moody. Mad-Eye grinned knowing all too well how the pale boy would react to his presence. Alastor Moody had never believed that Lucius Malfoy was innocent and didn’t believe that any spawn of his was clear of connections to Voldemort and his followers. Why his old friend had trusted this maggot he didn’t know, but Dumbledore had begged him not to judge Draco Malfoy by his father’s misdeeds. Mad-Eye had received an owl from his friend on the night he was killed. The old fool had known something wasn’t right, but had gone about it as though nothing has wrong.


McGonagall looked from Hermione to Draco and sighed... "I think it would be better for you two to take a bath and go to bed. You two have done a great thing for Hogwarts this night. I've decided to cancel your detention as a thank you. Now go." She smiled and waved them off before turning to Harry. Ron was there and had begun to discuss the Marauders Map that Lupin had told McGonagall about. She demanded that the two shared what ever information they had of passageways in and out of the castle.

As the door closed behind Draco and Hermione, Hermione looked carefully at Draco's face hoping the cold mask would drop, but it didn't. She sighed and turned her head down the corridor. "You should take the Prefect bathroom, I’ll just take a quick shower in the girls’ bathroom," Hermione said in a natural voice. "We could share..." Hermione turned her head to look at Draco in wonder and was greeted with a small teasing smile "... I’m known as a true gentleman, so trust me I won’t look!” He offered her his hand and was glad when she took it. As they walked to the prefects’ bathroom they didn't say anything, but just enjoyed the feeling of their hands fitting perfectly together.


Inside the bathroom Hermione tapped in her favourite colour code for a bubble bath scented with lavender and English roses and turned her back to Draco as she undressed. Draco laughed very quietly, turned his back to her and started to undress as well. Then he asked if she enjoyed seeing him in hand-on-hand combat, cause if he entered the corridors smelling of an English summer garden, it was almost a free pass for anyone that wanted to beat him up! Hermione gasped, she hadn’t thought about that. “We’ll change the bubbles… How about apples and cinnamon? It’s kind of unisex.” She reached for a towel and wrapped it close around her body like a dress. “Can I turn around?” She said in the softest of voices, sounding shy and curious at the same time.

“Two seconds.” Draco grabbed a towel as well and wrapped it around his waist “There… All safe to turn around now.” They turned at the same time, Hermione becoming bashful and avoiding Draco’s eyes. Draco smiled; he liked the effect he had on girls. It had been very long time since he had been in a situation like this and it was clear that he still had IT. But for some reason he didn’t want to take advantage of this opportunity. It was very unlike him to turn down a chance like this, but it didn’t seem right. He turned off the taps on his side and opened the drain to empty the huge bathtub. And then Hermione tapped in another colour code and the fragrance of green apples and cinnamon filled the room. Draco took a deep breath. “Umm… Nice combination… I’ll turn back around so you can slip in,” Draco smiled that warm smile she had seen once before and like earlier it sent a jolt of yearning through her body. Blushing, she waited for him to turn and quickly loosened the towel and descended into the hot water submerging completely for a second, then turned her back to Draco so he could join her.

Draco threw the towel aside and jumped into the water, sending a wave off hot apple and cinnamon bubbling water cascading over Hermione making her shriek in surprise. Draco chuckled, eyes blazing with delight. Hermione turned around, making sure she was immersed to the shoulders and sent him a stern look, before the giggles overtook her. As they looked at each other laughing, they felt a spark fly between them making both their hearts skip a beat. They stopped laughing, feeling a bit tense about how to go on. Draco was fighting the urge to swim down to her and take her in his arms, but he knew it was useless… She might be attracted to him, but she was a Gryffindor and he a Slytherin… She would never sink that low… She wouldn’t… He stopped in the middle of his negative thoughts and stared at Hermione.

Hermione called for her wand and conjured up a bikini in Gryffindor House colours. She dived down and when she came back up again, she was not longer nude. Draco grinned… Clever! He quickly called for his wand and seconds later he was wearing a pair of tight waterproof shorts, naturally in house colours! Now they didn’t have to stay in opposite ends of the tub. They met half way and stood there uncertain of what to do next. Draco slowly lifted his hand and wiped away some bubbles on Hermione’s cheek. He was so gentle it sent shivers down her spine. She closed her eyes to fully feel the touch.

Draco felt how Hermione quivered under his caress and it left him short of breath. Why did she make him react like this? He stood there studying her sun-touched face, taking in every freckle, every soft curve and how her eyelashes lightly touched down on her face. As Hermione opened her eyes she stared into a pair of eyes full of desire. Draco’s lips were slightly parted and when she traced a finger down the side of his face, a barely audible moan escaped his mouth. Was this even possible? That two that had hated each other with such passion, could turn that passion into something else…? Something that made him forget every insult, every pain he had felt in the past months?

As he pulled her closer, holding her firmly around her waist, he looked for approval in her eyes, and when he found it, he slowly moved his lips closer to hers closing his eyes at the exact moment their lips met.

It felt like fireworks went off inside of Hermione and a thousand butterflies fluttered in her stomach. To think that someone as unlikely as Draco Malfoy could send her bouncing around on cloud nine puzzled her greatly, but did it matter? She threw her arms round his neck and drew him closer still and felt a sweet satisfaction when he moaned as she parted his lips with her tongue.

He couldn’t believe it! Something as simple as a kiss was driving him over the edge. He had fantasized about something like this before, but in the fantasy he was the one in control and he had left her hungry for more then denied her fulfilment of his promise. He had found it rather fun to torture her in his daydreams and was shocked at the fact that he became complete and utterly insane with the desire to please her in whatever way she wanted. He needed air and pulled away, his normally pale cheeks coloured light red and eyes burning.

Hermione was light headed and panting. She felt like she was on fire. She enjoyed the power she had over her long-time nemesis, though she didn’t see him that way anymore. But the competitive spirit within her felt great contentment in the fact that SHE, Hermione Granger, Mudblood-know-it-all could drive the Slytherin Sexgod over the edge.

As they stood there gasping for air and trying to gain control over their hunger for more, they sent each other a dirty little smile and then let go of each other. It was best to stop before it got out of hand. Hermione swam back to her side and Draco to his. They quickly got dressed and then walked hand in hand out of the bathroom; smiling brightly like the sun. When they reached the Head Girl’s room, Hermione frowned and looked down at her feet. Draco felt a sting of panic… She didn’t want more than this?

“Hermione… Something wrong?” he sounded anxious and his eyes were shining with a mixture of hope and fear. Hermione drew a deep breath and slowly, in as calm a voice as she could master asked, “Did this mean anything to you?” Draco felt like his heart sink to his stomach and he looked like someone had stabbed him. “It didn’t to you?" His voice was shaking, but with an icy tone, he was preparing for her rejection. Hermione’s heart skipped a beat… Did he really mean… It wasn’t just for fun?

Draco read her silence like a sign that she didn’t. He let go of her hand and took a step back. “You were just playing with my mind?” He sounded so cold and distant that Hermione was finally brought back to reality. “No… NO! I… I mean…” She didn’t know what to say. “Don’t bother.” A single tear formed in Draco’s eye. “Guess you got your revenge for all the years I’ve tormented you… Bravo! Couldn’t have done it better myself!” He sounded so bitter that Hermione burst out in tears. She tried again, but he didn’t listen, he just turned around and strode of.

“DAMN YOU DRACO!!! Damn you for not listening… for judging me all wrong… DAMN YOU DRACO FOR MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!” Hermione screamed it out so loud that all the portraits woke and flocked to see what the racket was about.

Draco stopped dead in his tracks… What did she just say? He slowly turned around and stared in bewilderment at Hermione. She stood there with tears steaming down her cheeks, shaking and looking so lost and hurt he felt his heart break. He started to walk back towards her, slowly for he didn’t believe what she just said. “Say that again,” he whispered. Hermione was hiccupping because of the tears. “I… I said tha… That I’m falling in lo… love with you… You stupid bastard!”

Some younger students were gathering down the corridor, but Hermione didn’t care… They could gaze all they wanted… Draco didn’t even notice them; he came to a stop just in front of Hermione, who glared at him in a mixture of rage and sadness. He placed his hand on either side of her face, looked her straight into her eyes and whispered in an insecure voice, “You are what? Are you sure… I can’t handle it if you’re toying with me.” Hermione nodded, crying too hard to speak.

“Oy, MALFOY!!! Get your dirty hands off of her… Can’t you see you’re hurting her?!” Ron’s voice rang through the corridor and Draco caught a glimpse of something red out the corner of his eye, just in time to duck as Ron’s fist went flying in the direction of his jaw. “No… Stop… You’re misinterpreting this…” Draco ducked again as Ron swung once more at him. Draco didn’t want to fight Ron right now, so he kept ducking and defending himself.

“Ron, Stop! Please.” Ginny came to the scene trying to comfort Hermione. Draco cast a quick glance towards the two girls, but that gave Ron just enough time to swing a tight clenched fist in Draco’s course, hitting him hard on the jaw. Draco shook his head and staggered, falling to his knees and going even paler than usual. Hermione ripped away from Ginny and ran to Draco’s side cursing Ron with every step she took. She dropped to her knees and gently put an arm over Draco’s back, turning her head to the crowed screaming for Madam Pomfrey.

“Bu… But you were crying… Bloody Hell ‘Mione… I thought…” Ron went red with embarrassment as he realized had fucked up once more in regards to his and Hermione’s fragile friendship. Draco shook his head again and tried to stand up supported by Hermione. In a very tired and faint voice he murmured, “Dammit, Weasley… You have just as bad hearing as I do… Yes, ‘Mi was crying… And yes, it was my fault… But only because I’m an insecure, self-doubting son of a fucked-up father, that did not listen,” swaying a little and looking woozy Draco’s legs threatened to give out.

“Here… Let me help.” Harry came and stood besides Draco offering his arm for support. Draco nodded and put his arm around Harry’s neck. As the two boys started towards the hospital wing Draco slowly turned his head to Hermione and in a very clear voice said, “I Love You Too, ‘Mi.” then all went black and Draco tumbled to the floor.