Only a House

Thanks so much to my reviewers, Barbara, Angel117, Whitehorn! A special thanks to Kunitsu, who has been a loyal reader of mine. I had considered deleting this story at one time, as it didn't seem to be generating much interest, but I was very gratified to hear that you all like it so much, and so I will continue. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you all taking the time to review. Thanks so much! And now, Chapter 3:




Betrothed To Your Enemy



The sound of the door opening woke Severus and he opened his eyes to see Kingsley Shacklebolt standing at the foot of his bed. Sitting up, he nodded a greeting and asked, "What brings you here, Kingsley?"

"To talk about your trial, Severus," the big man said gravely.

"What about it?" Severus asked, swinging his legs over the other side of the bed, turning away.

"Why did you refuse to see the man I sent to help you with your defense?" Kingsley asked, "he was here to help you prepare for your trial. To prepare your defense."

"I had nothing to say to him," Severus shrugged.

"What do you mean, you had nothing to say?!" Kingsley blurted, "you need to defend yourself, Severus! Give testimony that you were a spy for the Order, under Dumbledore's orders..."

"And yet, I murdered him," Severus said quietly.

"Exactly!," Kingsley exclaimed, "but you were acting under his orders!"

"Was I?" Severus said somewhat sardonically, "and who would believe that Dumbledore asked me to kill him?"

"I would," Kingsley replied firmly, "I told you, Severus, I know more than you think I do. I know you were acting under Dumbledore's orders, as I've heard it from the man himself, as well as ..."

"You mean you've been to Hogwarts and heard it from his portrait," Severus said with finality, knowing that Kingsley knew full well portraits couldn't testify at trial. They were, after all, only the essence of the person they portrayed, not the person themselves.

After several moments of heavy silence during which Severus could feel the other man's eyes boring into his back, the other spoke.

"Severus, I know that Harry Potter has memories he's said you gave him when the snake bit you..."

"I thought I was dying," Severus said carefully. "They were meant for him alone."

"But those memories can clear you!" Kingsley protested, "Harry says there's enough evidence to clear you of Death Eater activities as well as Dumbledore's murder! I told you the trials were formalities, but that was because I knew there was evidence to clear you! You must act in your own defense, Severus! There are plenty of people who will willingly testify that any Death Eater activities you engaged in were necessary to your role as a spy for the Order, but Dumbledore was...Dumbledore! People still find it difficult to accept that he's gone, even now! They want to know why! And only you can answer that question, Severus!"

But the boy had the memories, Severus thought, he could easily give them up, yet he evidently had not. Still, he had told Shacklebolt about them. Confused, Severus said quietly, "They were meant for him only. I did not give them to him to clear myself. Only to explain my actions to him."

Kingsley came around to face Severus, towering over him, and said, "Harry told me that the memories can clear you, but he will not show them because they contain personal business between you and him. He will not release them without your permission."

Severus turned away again, surprised by the man's words. So the boy said there was personal business between them, did he? Was that why the boy wouldn't speak to him? Why he remained silent and staring at him when he accompanied Shacklebolt? The boy hated him already, had the memories deepened that hatred? Severus had only meant to make the boy understand his harsh treatment of him was necessary to keep his cover as a spy for the Order. And, he'd wanted the boy to know that despite what he'd seen in the pensieve during the ill-fated occlumency lessons, Severus had loved Lily. Calling her "Mudblood" was unintentional, spoken in the heat of anger and humiliation, and was the greatest regret of Severus' life. Even so, he supposed knowing Severus had loved his mother hadn't added anything to the boy's life, and most likely added more fuel to his hatred of him.

Severus sighed. The boy had been through so much, endured more than any one person should have to, much less one so young. He could not in good conscience blame the boy for wanting to preserve his mother's memory at his expense. Severus could only imagine the kind of sordid scandal someone like Rita Skeeter would make of those memories should they be dragged into open court. The boy did not need the added pain of that. He was convinced it was only the boy's Gryffindor sense of honour that compelled him to tell Shacklebolt of the memories in the first place.

"I believe it lies with Potter to give permission for the memories to be revealed," Severus told Kingsley. "I gave the memories to him, therefore it is at his discretion rather than mine as to whether or not they will be revealed."

"Severus.." Kingsley began.

"I am sorry, Kingsley," Severus said firmly, "the decision must lie with Harry Potter."

The man looked as if he would argue, but then simply said, "Very well, Severus. I'll inform him you've said so," turned, and left.


********************************


The next afternoon, an obviously agitated Shacklebolt stalked into Severus' room.

"Potter won't budge, Severus. You must tell the boy to hand them over."

"I will do no such thing," Severus told him, "they were meant for him, and it is his choice as to give them up or not. Obviously he chooses not to."

"But those memories can clear you!," Kingsley howled, "there is only so much I can do, Severus! I can testify as to what Dumbledore's portrait told me, but you know as well as I do that that is only hearsay! Not to be taken into consideration! A portrait is not the same as the actual person! You know that!"

"Again, Kingsley, I thank you for your kindness to me and for your concern for me," Severus said, "but as I stated before, I did not give Potter those memories to clear myself."

"Without those memories, you'll be convicted, Severus," Kingsley said harshly, "convicted as a murderer and sent to Azkaban for life surely, receive the Dementor's Kiss possibly."

After a moment, Severus quietly said only, "I have caused the boy enough pain, Kingsley. I will not cause him more."


********************************


As the days before Severus' trial dragged on endlessly, Shacklebolt paid him many more such visits, each time leaving angrier and angrier at Severus' refusal to tell the boy to give up the memories. Each time the big man told Severus that Potter also still refused, throwing the ball back into Severus' court, Severus grew even more convinced he was right in his thinking.

Kingsley told Severus he was going to order the boy to give up the memories, but still Severus declined to act. When the Auror returned to inform Severus that still the boy had refused and was now on official suspension for disobeying a direct order, Severus couldn't help but secretly admire the boy's loyalty to his mother's memory. At the same time, he also admired the boy's sense of honour. He had given his word not to reveal them without Severus' permission, and kept to that word, even at detriment to himself. Even so, Severus was filled with regret that the boy's hatred of him was still obviously firmly in place, as evidenced by his willingness to allow himself to be suspended from a job Severus knew he must treasure. Although it pained Severus to be the cause of Kingsley's actions, he could understand that the boy would be ashamed and embarassed to have those memories made public. Although he was sure it was the Gryffindor honour that made the boy tell he had the memories, he also undertood that the boy could hardly claim his own embarassment as a reason for withholding them. Still, Severus felt that his fate should rest in the boy's hands. He would not force him to endure any more pain at his own.

He was given cause to reconsider that stance however, the next time Kingsley visited him.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Severus," the big man began.

"It will do you no good, Kingsley," Severus stated.

"Why won't you help yourself?!" the Auror growled, "All you have to do is say the word, Severus! What is in those memories that neither of you will give them up?!"

"That is for the boy to say," Severus said simply.

"Very well," Kingsley said angrily, "then you leave me no choice. As I've already informed him, Potter will be arrested on charges of withholding evidence and obstructing justice. This will end his career with the Auror Office, of which I have also informed him."

And yet here was Kingsley still asking Severus to relent and say the word.

"Stupid boy," Severus said softly.

"Severus," Kingsley beseeched him, "you said you didn't want to be the cause of any more pain to the boy..."

"I thought I was dying when I gave him those memories," Severus said, "I...I wanted to explain my past actions to him....wanted to make him understand....certain things. They contain personal memories...of his mother...things that were meant for only his eyes, but they are entwined in with the memories you want. I cannot betray the boy, nor his mother's memory, Kingsley, no matter the price to myself. I have been the cause of too much pain for him already. He has been through too much. I never thought I would survive Voldemort's defeat, consequently, I am willing to accept my fate at the hands of the Wizengamot, whatever that decision may be. I therefore beg you to reconsider your actions concerning the boy."

Kingsley stared at him in astonishment for a moment and then said, "You're telling me that you would willingly spend the rest of your life in Azkaban, or worse, rather than tell Potter to give up those memories?"

"I will not betray the boy nor his mother's memory," Severus repeated adamantly.

The big man could see there was no further point in arguing and shook his head sadly before leaving Severus in peace.


**********************************


A few days before the trial loomed, Severus was somewhat surprised to see Kingsley appear once more. Did the man listen to nothing? he thought with annoyance. He thought he'd made himself clear.

"The answer remains the same, Shacklebolt," he said shortly.

"I'm not here for that," Kingsley replied in like.

Severus watched as the other man began pulling things from his pocket and spelling them to normal size. A flask, a pensieve, and what looked suspiciously like Severus' own wand.

"What are you doing?" he asked, "what's all this?"

"The flask contains the memories," the Auror said, "I got them from Potter finally, just a bit ago. I have a plan, Severus. This is your wand, which I will take back when we are through."

"Through with what?" Severus asked, frowning.

"Firstly, I assure you that I have not looked at these memories, so whatever is between you and Potter about his mother remains between you," Kingsley said. "You'll empty the memories into the pensieve, and then extract all those that contain Lily Potter and put them back into your own head, leaving the rest. Those I will look at, and of course they'll have to undergo the usual testing to assure they haven't been tampered with, and then they'll be introduced as evidence at your trial. This way you will be cleared, and you and Potter can rest assured his mother's memory remains sacred between you."

Severus stared at the man in disbelief at what he was suggesting. Part of him was filled with admiration for the brilliant simplicity of the plan. It had never occurred to Severus himself. Another part of him was shocked that this man seemed to care so much about Severus' fate, and he couldn't help but wonder why. The man had always been kind and respectful to him, friendly even, but this went far beyond simple kindness. The man was Head of the Auror Office, and his allowing Severus to use his wand while under arrest was enough to get himself arrested.

"Why are you doing this?" he blurted suddenly, "why does it matter to you what happens to me? So much that you are putting your own career in jeopardy, something I expressly asked you not to do."

"I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do, Severus," Kingsley replied, "it matters to me what happens to you because you also have endured more than anyone should have to, and if it weren't for you, Potter couldn't have defeated Voldemort, and then where would we all be? It matters to me because I believed in Dumbledore and Dumbledore believed in you, and that's good enough for me. As far as putting my career in jeopardy goes, I'm Head Auror. I'm duty bound to see that justice is served, and right now, I'm doing what I have to do to see that it is. Are you going to argue that point with me?"

"You could be arrested for this," Severus said.

"Again, Severus, I'm Head Auror. Who's going to arrest me?" said Kingsley.

"I cannot let you do this..." Severus began.

"You don't have the monopoly on honour, Severus," Kingsley said with irritably, "perhaps what I'm doing is, from a legal standpoint, a bit questionable, but you have to know when to abuse your authority and position for the greater good. We are not altering the evidence, the evidence is intact. We are only extracting what is unnecessary and superfluous to the case at hand. However, if you still feel that you cannot follow the plan, then I will simply take the memories as is and present them for evidence. After all, I'm Head Auror, I know of their existance, I'm duty bound to present them now that I know of them and have them in my possession. See the fine line?"

Severus scowled at the man and snatched up his wand. He poured the contents of the flask into the pensieve and extracted all those that concerned Lily, putting them back into his own head, and left everything that would, indeed, clear him. He sighed heavily as he handed his wand back to Kingsley, and stood watching as the man disappeared into the pensieve to view the memories.

Apparently satisfied when he emerged, Kingsley turned to Severus and said, "Well, Dumbledore was right. This confirms everything he told me." He began gathering and spelling his things together, sliding them into a pocket of his robes, preparing to leave.

"How can you be so sure I didn't leave anything out?" Severus asked, "Even Dumbledore cannot know what I choose to remember or forget."

To that Kingsley paused at the door and let out a deep, rich laugh. "Severus," he said, "we trusted you with our lives for two years at Grimmauld Place when you could have told Voldemort at any time where we, the Order, were. Why would I not trust you now?"


*******************************


Very little was actually required of Severus at his Death Eater trial other than to state that yes, he had been a Death Eater. Yes, he had taken the Dark Mark. He had then recanted to Dumbledore, and had served as a spy for the Order of The Phoenix under Dumbledore, which entailed presenting himself as a faithful Death Eater in Voldemort's ranks in order to keep himself above suspicion and alive.


Then, to Severus' surprise, Hermione Granger was called forward to testify that she had, along with Harry Potter, witnessed Voldemort set Nagini on Severus, that they had both believed him to be dying, and that Severus had given Potter his memories of his own free will. Potter himself was then called, and testified that the memories about to be viewed were the ones that Severus had given him. Severus noticed that the boy approached the High Chair , said his piece, and then returned to his seat all without once glancing at him. A Ministry official then testified that the memories about to be viewed were genuine and had not been tampered with or altered, and proceeded to perform the spell that would allow the entire courtroom to view the memories just as if they were all in the midst of a giant pensieve.


It didn't take the Wizengamot very long to deliberate and then clear Severus of the charges. Really, they had no choice, although the Minister didn't look very happy about it as he banged his gavel.


Kingsley Shacklebolt then spoke, asking that Severus be cleared of the murder charge, but the Minister would hear nothing relating to Dumbledore's murder. He rather sharply informed the Auror, thus the rest of the courtroom, that the current trial was for the Death Eater activities charge only, and that any evidence for the other charge would be heard at the time of that trial. He seemed to overlook the fact that they had all just viewed said evidence, and gavelled down Kingsley's attempts to point this out.

"It doesn't matter," he told Severus in the anteroom, "everybody saw the evidence already. That trial will be even more of a formality than this one was."

Severus only nodded, preparing himself for the onslaught of reporters waiting outside the door as Kingsley escorted him back to St. Mungo's. The Auror had managed to once again keep Severus out of Azkaban, claiming he was still not quite strong enough to withstand incarceration there until his next trial. That this was patently untrue made no difference to Kingsley apparently, but Severus did not protest. That he would willingly go to Azkaban should the Wizengamot for any reason so decide, did not mean he was anxious to get there. Even the endlessly boring days at St. Mungo's were appealing in comparison.


Right now he wanted nothing more than the peace and quiet his isolation there would bring.