Beauty and Sadness
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Lily
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
14,548
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Lily
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
14,548
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Snape Finds a Way
Snape was lounging against the wall by the Fat Lady as usual when Lily emerged from Gryffindor Tower the next morning. One look at her white face, and Snape felt his first twinge of guilt. Her expression softened slightly when she saw him.
“Let me have your books,” he ordered.
Lily’s eyebrows went up. “No.”
“Lily...”
She clicked her tongue impatiently. “Sev, I have to go to Charms again, and then—" She glanced at him. “I’m going to the library.”
“Mm. For what?”
“To see if I’m—-you know.”
“Brilliant. I practically live there, now that my curriculum is all independent study. I’ll meet you there.”
Weakly, and with decided lack of enthusiasm, Lily agreed.
It didn’t take a Legilimens to know that she would try to elude him in the library. Snape stationed himself at a carrel near Madam Pince’s desk, but concealed by a high shelf of books. Sure enough, he soon heard Madame Pince’s indignant voice say, “Young witch, that book is in the restricted stacks!”
Snape peered cautiously around the bookshelf. Madam Pince was holding a scrap of parchment and looking over her tiny, rectangular reading spectacles at a young woman whose long, dark red hair was turned to Snape. He gave a small smile to himself.
“I’m 18,” Lily said softly. Evidently, she wanted to keep their conversation private. Madam Pince was not in a hurry to oblige.
“Restricted means restricted to Hogwarts professors and certain other worthy personages! Not to students, no matter their age.” Madam Pince’s skinny chest rose and fell rapidly. Snape could actually hear her indignant breathing.
Lily seemed about to say something, but bent her head in resignation and trudged a little way off. Snape was not fooled. Madam Pince went back to cataloging books, tapping each one with her wand and directing it to its proper shelf. Each time she directed a book, she turned her head in the direction it should go. On one of those times, so quickly that Snape almost missed it, Lily nipped into the restricted stacks. At once, a piercing shriek punctured the air. The library itself was screaming! Madam Pince squawked with fury and leaped to her feet. In two seconds, she was dragging Lily out of the restricted area by her robes.
“Didn’t I tell you that was restricted? No library privileges for you for the rest of the week! Stay. Out!” She pushed Lily out the door. From his hiding place, Snape caught sight of Lily’s despairing expression as she was unceremoniously shoved into the corridor.
He felt a strange feeling come over him. It took him a while to realize it was pity. And he was the cause of her distress. Although he greatly hoped that Lily was pregnant, and that he was the cause, he decided it might be best to know the truth and put her out of the misery of not knowing. He approached Madam Pince, who was standing near the entry to the restricted stacks, still hyperventilating.
Without a scruple, he muttered, “Imperio.” Madam Pince’s face did not change. For a moment, Snape was nonplussed. Maybe Hogwarts staff were somehow immune from the Unforgivable Curses? But then he saw Madam Pince’s vulture-like eyes go a bit blurry. She wasn’t immune. She just lacked much facial mobility. He allowed himself another small smile.
“I’d like permission to go into the restricted stacks.”
The emaciated face nodded curtly.
“I am a person acceptable for seeing the restricted stacks.”
Again, the curt nod.
“You’ll remember that you have given me permission, and that you agree I should have access.”
The thin lips compressed, but Madam Pince nodded again. Snape twitched his wand near his side, and the blurry look in her eyes disappeared. “Go on, then,” she said, “And don’t you dare rip, tear, shred, bend, fold, deface, disfigure, smear, smudge, throw, drop, or in any other manner damage, mistreat, or show lack of respect towards any of those books,” she said, quivering.
Snape gave her a tight smile and proceeded into the stacks.
It took him hours and days to find what he wanted. He kept to himself and left Lily largely on her own, even though he knew that James Potter made a visit to campus and that he and Lily had eaten together at least once.
He approached Lily after classes one day. It had been two weeks since their meeting in the woods.
“Lily.” He caught her sleeve.
She turned. “Sev! It’s been ages—"
“I need to talk to you. Right away.”
He saw the tightness in her face, worse than before, the worry making her cheekbones stand out in her face and making her green eyes look huge. “All right.”
He pulled her under a little-used staircase he knew about. “We need to go into the woods again.”
Lily tightened her mouth and gave a small shake of her head.
“Look, if the damage is done, it’s done—"
“If it’s not, I don’t want to—"
“Listen to me! I know how to find out the answer to your—to our problem.”
The angry look in her eyes melted. “H-how?”
“I’ve been reading up about it in the library.”
“How did you get access to the restricted stacks?”
He just narrowed his eyes and grinned at her.
“You—you didn’t!”
“Did what? I was just studying. Ask Madam Pince.”
“Ask her—she’ll say anything you told her to! She’s—"
He clapped a hand over her mouth and moved closer to her, so that his body was almost up against hers in the narrow space. “Who gives a skrewt’s sucker what I’ve done to her? I have our answer, don’t I? Well? Don’t you want to know how to find out?”
She reached out to pull his hand away, and he let her. But he didn’t move away from her. “Tell me,” she said.
Snape put a hand on her shoulder. He wanted very much to put his mouth on hers. “Have you gotten your—" for once he was at a loss for words—“you know, yet?”
She shook her head and turned away slightly. Oh, so that’s what was bothering her. She was late. A spark of hope ignited in his chest.
“OK, here’s the spell. If the man who may have caused the conception puts his wand in the air while his finger is in the woman’s, er,” here he stumbled. The books had used the Latin terms, which seemed harsh and slightly obscene to be using with Lily. He opted for something softer: “—passage and says Monstraro, then his wand will light up if she’s pregnant.”
“Let me have your books,” he ordered.
Lily’s eyebrows went up. “No.”
“Lily...”
She clicked her tongue impatiently. “Sev, I have to go to Charms again, and then—" She glanced at him. “I’m going to the library.”
“Mm. For what?”
“To see if I’m—-you know.”
“Brilliant. I practically live there, now that my curriculum is all independent study. I’ll meet you there.”
Weakly, and with decided lack of enthusiasm, Lily agreed.
It didn’t take a Legilimens to know that she would try to elude him in the library. Snape stationed himself at a carrel near Madam Pince’s desk, but concealed by a high shelf of books. Sure enough, he soon heard Madame Pince’s indignant voice say, “Young witch, that book is in the restricted stacks!”
Snape peered cautiously around the bookshelf. Madam Pince was holding a scrap of parchment and looking over her tiny, rectangular reading spectacles at a young woman whose long, dark red hair was turned to Snape. He gave a small smile to himself.
“I’m 18,” Lily said softly. Evidently, she wanted to keep their conversation private. Madam Pince was not in a hurry to oblige.
“Restricted means restricted to Hogwarts professors and certain other worthy personages! Not to students, no matter their age.” Madam Pince’s skinny chest rose and fell rapidly. Snape could actually hear her indignant breathing.
Lily seemed about to say something, but bent her head in resignation and trudged a little way off. Snape was not fooled. Madam Pince went back to cataloging books, tapping each one with her wand and directing it to its proper shelf. Each time she directed a book, she turned her head in the direction it should go. On one of those times, so quickly that Snape almost missed it, Lily nipped into the restricted stacks. At once, a piercing shriek punctured the air. The library itself was screaming! Madam Pince squawked with fury and leaped to her feet. In two seconds, she was dragging Lily out of the restricted area by her robes.
“Didn’t I tell you that was restricted? No library privileges for you for the rest of the week! Stay. Out!” She pushed Lily out the door. From his hiding place, Snape caught sight of Lily’s despairing expression as she was unceremoniously shoved into the corridor.
He felt a strange feeling come over him. It took him a while to realize it was pity. And he was the cause of her distress. Although he greatly hoped that Lily was pregnant, and that he was the cause, he decided it might be best to know the truth and put her out of the misery of not knowing. He approached Madam Pince, who was standing near the entry to the restricted stacks, still hyperventilating.
Without a scruple, he muttered, “Imperio.” Madam Pince’s face did not change. For a moment, Snape was nonplussed. Maybe Hogwarts staff were somehow immune from the Unforgivable Curses? But then he saw Madam Pince’s vulture-like eyes go a bit blurry. She wasn’t immune. She just lacked much facial mobility. He allowed himself another small smile.
“I’d like permission to go into the restricted stacks.”
The emaciated face nodded curtly.
“I am a person acceptable for seeing the restricted stacks.”
Again, the curt nod.
“You’ll remember that you have given me permission, and that you agree I should have access.”
The thin lips compressed, but Madam Pince nodded again. Snape twitched his wand near his side, and the blurry look in her eyes disappeared. “Go on, then,” she said, “And don’t you dare rip, tear, shred, bend, fold, deface, disfigure, smear, smudge, throw, drop, or in any other manner damage, mistreat, or show lack of respect towards any of those books,” she said, quivering.
Snape gave her a tight smile and proceeded into the stacks.
It took him hours and days to find what he wanted. He kept to himself and left Lily largely on her own, even though he knew that James Potter made a visit to campus and that he and Lily had eaten together at least once.
He approached Lily after classes one day. It had been two weeks since their meeting in the woods.
“Lily.” He caught her sleeve.
She turned. “Sev! It’s been ages—"
“I need to talk to you. Right away.”
He saw the tightness in her face, worse than before, the worry making her cheekbones stand out in her face and making her green eyes look huge. “All right.”
He pulled her under a little-used staircase he knew about. “We need to go into the woods again.”
Lily tightened her mouth and gave a small shake of her head.
“Look, if the damage is done, it’s done—"
“If it’s not, I don’t want to—"
“Listen to me! I know how to find out the answer to your—to our problem.”
The angry look in her eyes melted. “H-how?”
“I’ve been reading up about it in the library.”
“How did you get access to the restricted stacks?”
He just narrowed his eyes and grinned at her.
“You—you didn’t!”
“Did what? I was just studying. Ask Madam Pince.”
“Ask her—she’ll say anything you told her to! She’s—"
He clapped a hand over her mouth and moved closer to her, so that his body was almost up against hers in the narrow space. “Who gives a skrewt’s sucker what I’ve done to her? I have our answer, don’t I? Well? Don’t you want to know how to find out?”
She reached out to pull his hand away, and he let her. But he didn’t move away from her. “Tell me,” she said.
Snape put a hand on her shoulder. He wanted very much to put his mouth on hers. “Have you gotten your—" for once he was at a loss for words—“you know, yet?”
She shook her head and turned away slightly. Oh, so that’s what was bothering her. She was late. A spark of hope ignited in his chest.
“OK, here’s the spell. If the man who may have caused the conception puts his wand in the air while his finger is in the woman’s, er,” here he stumbled. The books had used the Latin terms, which seemed harsh and slightly obscene to be using with Lily. He opted for something softer: “—passage and says Monstraro, then his wand will light up if she’s pregnant.”