Trouble This Way Cometh

Title: Trouble This Way Cometh

Author: alienangel19852003 with Luny Lovegood from Harry Potter Fanfiction dot com

Summary: Wherever Coco and Oz go trouble is soon to follow. After their abrupt expulsion from Salem School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in America, they continue their education at Hogwarts. Coming from a very relaxed school atmosphere the girls are without manners and skate (literally) threw life on nothing but daring never fearing consequences. Learning a lot from the likes of Luna Lovegood and Harry Potter and also teaching along the way.

Disclaimer: We don’t know, we don’t own, anything but the original characters we dreamed up. This is in no way meant to be a serious attempt at wonderful heartwarming story so please don’t get offended by the occasional character bashing and offbeat themes this story isn’t meant to offend anyone it’s all in good fun. Flames make us stronger. We find them funny. Just review, we take the good we take the bad we take them both and then we have the facts of life.


“Magical Mistake”

The first week of classes came and went in a blur, Coco’s classes were mostly with Luna and the slow class except DADA and Divination which she had with the sixth years, and Oz’s classes were mostly with Ron and Harry, except for DADA which she had with Neville and the slow class. Coco served her detentions with Snape. Harry joined her for detention for getting caught sleeping in Snape’s first hour potions class on the first day of school on the day that Oz demonstrated her Wolves Bane Potion, which had the greasy teacher in a right state.

The highlights of the week contained Coco using Legimency on Snape during her slow class potions with him. The intensity of his shields was enough to knock both of them to opposite sides of the room. Neville ended up having to carry her up to the nurse while Luna tried to convince Snape to let her levitate him up to the infirmary no one was sure if he thought she’d drop him or if he wanted to the manly thing and walk up there even though he was swaying on his feet.

At the same time Oz was teaching Draco how to skate board they had a free period and after three failed attempts at trying to get a skateboard sent from his father Draco was enthusiastic about skating. They had a free period and he’d bugged her about learning for the past few days, so she decided to give it a try. She was showing off which wasn’t really the norm for her but she was grinding off the rails of one of the every changing staircases in the hallways. She lost footing and ended up rolling her ankle as she fell off the bottom of the staircase thankful she didn’t fall from higher she would have been worried about much more than her ankle.

Ron and Harry were at the same time in the astronomy tower with Ginny and Hermione who insisted on meeting them to talk, the boys and the girls both had a free period Harry and Ron had every intention of smoking some blunts with Ron’s brothers when Hermione had called a meeting with them. Ginny made some comments about Coco and Oz and Ron had fired back with some words of his own, and Hermione tried using a disarming charm as a distraction and Ron ended up toppling backwards out of the window.

Harry cast a Finite Incantem to stop the affects of the spell and managed to slow the momentum but he was unable to stop Ron from hitting the ground he just stopped it from hurting so bad. Ron made his way up to the infirmary with Harry’s help he had dislocated shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Oz, Coco, Harry, Ron and Draco said simultaneously.

“Got hurt.” Ron shrugged.

“Snape has a dirty impenetrable mind.” Coco said.

“Trying to show off and almost broke my leg…”Oz said.

Snape stalked out of the nurse’s office with an ice pack on his head, “Stay out of my head Miss Collins you’d do well to remember that…I know you’re in the slow learners’ class but figure it out before you kill us both.”

He passed the stretcher Coco was lying on and she flipped off the back of his head.

“Twenty points from Slytherin. For the record I do have eyes in the back of my head. Harry you can thank your father for that…” Snape stalked out of the infirmary.

Draco helped Oz on to one of the beds.

“Why are you touching her like that?” Ron demanded.

“I was just helping her, shut up Weasel you hot head.” Draco said.

“Malferret.” Ron hissed sliding over to Draco.

“You and I both know that if I just tap your right shoulder you’ll be howling in pain like a little bitch so let’s save this altercation for a time when I can actually have a challenge from you.” Draco drawled.

“You aren’t even on my level.” Ron responded.

Harry raised an eyebrow, “Hermione was obviously a level ahead because she completely knocked you on your arse.”

“She caught me off guard; I was too busy dealing with Ginny. You need to put that girl in check.” Ron said.

“She ain’t my girlfriend, she’s your sister you check her.” Harry said.

“I’ll put her in check what is she saying about us now?” Coco said.

“The usual, they are just being jealous. Hermione will come around eventually, as for Ginny you’d better wait until hell freezes over for that one to come around.” Harry said.

“Tell me about it.” Ron said rolling his eyes.

“Madam Pomfrey, why can’t I help, it seems you have a packed house.” Luna’s dreamy voice came wafting out of the office long before she stepped out of it.

“Luna let me put this bluntly, the last time you helped I had to do a skin mending potion on the child.” Pomfrey said. “And he came in because he had a stomach ache.”

“I was cleansing his Chakras who knew that the cleansing potion was dangerous for the skin.” Luna said.

“Miss Lovegood you are not helping end of story.” Pomfrey said.

“Well, what do we have here?” Dumbledore entered the infirmary.

“Got hurt.” Ron responded as he lay sprawled on his cot next to Oz’s still cradling his right arm.

“Snape has a dirty mind.” Coco responded.

“Doing a trick and got hurt.” Oz said.

“I wanted to talk to you young people about that.” Dumbledore said.

“About acting an ass?” Draco snorted, “Those Gryffindorks should know by now that their actions only lead to hospital visits but yet they insist to keep–”

“–Yes, but that doesn’t explain what your are doing here Mr. Malfoy.” Dumbledore said.

“Well…see…what had happened was…” Draco was at a loss for words.

“I believe you were boarding down the changing staircases, you do know that they are dangerous when you are just on your two feet but on wheels they could be deadly. You must be more careful Miss Ozwald.” Dumbledore said.

“It’s just a broken ankle Albie. I’ll be alright I didn’t lose any limbs.” Oz said.

“I believe it was yesterday Miss Collins was paying too much attention to her cell phone and not enough to the stairs and fell right off the end of one. Luckily Mr. Zabini was just below her.” Dumbledore said.

“That bitch nigga was looking up my skirt Albie.” Coco said vehemently. “I was shooting my girl a text telling her to check out the perv.”

“Miss Collins I will not have you speaking in that manner, that is both obscene and offensive. I have another matter to discuss with you.” Dumbledore said.

“You want to award me special services for kneeing him the balls?” Coco asked.

“No, I want to talk to your about the incident with Professor Snape. You do understand that is wrong. You are not to invade the mind of any individual; I know you are skilled in Legimency and you don’t like secrets but the Professor has his shields for a reason.” Dumbledore said.

“A ‘mind your business’ would have sufficed.” Coco said, “You didn’t need to tell me it was wrong getting knocked on my ass taught me a lesson.”

“Hopefully, getting knocked on your back will teach you as well Mr. Weasley not to go around behaving foolishly. I’ve no doubt you’ve done that showing off on your broom.”

“Wrong…Hermione did Expelliamous on me and I was off balance and fell out of the astronomy tower. That’s all.” Ron said.

“You got wand down by a girl?” Draco snickered.

“What of it? Hermione is a pretty strong witch when she wants to be.” Ron said.

“I can imagine. All that Mud–” Draco began.

“Don’t you even much let that come out your mouth? I’m going to slap the shit out of you.” Coco said, “I’m Half Blood, and I ain’t going to half step when I beat that ass Blonde Bitch Boy!”

“I’m going to retire to my rooms, Poppy see that these children get patched up and sent on their way.

After the day in the infirmary Hermione was as stern-faced as ever, and Ginny was just as unreasonable. She kept calling Oz and Coco all manner of names usually ending with slut or skank until Luna finally screamed at her, which made the Ginny Beast cry.

Oz suggested a sleepover somewhere where they could just talk and get to know each other it didn’t help much that she couldn’t find anywhere to smoke her pipe where Minerva didn’t come strolling up as soon as she got it lit. Harry suggests that they show the girls the Room of Requirement.

Ron was readying himself for the night in the room, he had one small detail to take care of he had to get Hermione to cover for him during Prefect Duties. He knew she still felt guilty for knocking him off the tower. He found her in the Gryffindor Common Room reading just before she went to Prefect Duty.

“Hello Hermione…” Ron began flashing a nervous smile.

“Oh so now you’re speaking to me…what do you want?” Hermione asked.

“Why do you have to go and assume I want something?” Ron asked indignantly placing himself in front of her.

“I’ve known you for six years, Ron. What do you want?” Hermione asked.

“Alright, I need you to do me a favor.” Ron said.

“What kind of favor, I’m not doing your homework…” Hermione said.

“I’ve done my homework. I need you to cover for me during Prefect Duty, I’ve got plans…” Ron said.

“You mean you’ve got a date with that girl.” Hermione said.

“Please, I’ll owe you one. Whatever you want. Please, we’re going to hang out and watch Muggle movies it’ll be fun.” Ron said.

“So you want me to aid and abed your shenanigans I’m certain you’re going to be staying out all night and narrowly missing getting caught by Filch.” Hermione said.

“I told you before I have a mother, and you aren’t her. Will you do it or not.” Ron demanded.

“Fine, but you didn’t say the magic word…” Hermione said in a high pitched sing song voice.

“Do it or I’ll tell about your highly illegal spell book.” Ron threatened.

“Blackmail? Ron, really I thought this was beneath you.” Hermione said.

“You’ll do it?” Ron asked.

“Of course, I have no other choice and besides they’re will be six other Prefects there anyways. It’s not like I’ll be doing everything.” Hermione said.

“Spank you!” Ron shouted before running away.

“Ronald!” Hermione shouted her cheeks coloring.

“I mean thank you.” Ron said darting out the portrait hole.

Harry was standing in the corridor with the girls waiting for him, “You got her to do it didn’t you?” he asked Ron.

“Easy as pie.” Ron smirked.

“Let’s quit the yapping and get upstairs, I’ve spent the whole day listening to these boring ass folks. I don’t need to hear anything from the Granger school of perfect boredom.” Coco whined.

“We’ll be there in a moment.” Ron darted in front of the group, “Follow me, steady on steady on…”

Harry shrugged and tucked his arm around Coco’s waist as they followed. Luna and Draco were strangely absent from the group, she claimed she had to study and Draco had Prefect Duty.

They walked down the hall containing that ridiculous tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy the first time Coco was protesting.

“You’ve got to do it thrice.” Harry explained.

“You do it thrice.” Coco told him.

“What do we want from this room anyways?” Ron asked.

“We need comfy couches, soft lighting, a TV/DVD player, preferbably widescreen hidef plasma.” Oz said.

“I don’t know what all those things are…” Ron said blushing eyes to the ground, he didn’t like not having the Muggle background to know what in the hell the girls were talking about and no money to afford it if he did know what it was.

“I don’t want you to be cross at me if I pick the wrong colors.” Harry said.

“You’d pick damn camo green or some shit like that. You do it Oz.” Coco said.

“Fine, you coming with me though Ron.” Oz grabbed Ron’s arm and they paced the hall three times thinking of the room Coco described.

Finally a door appeared and Harry eagerly pushed it open trying not to gape at the room.

“It looks like the summer house rec room.” Coco remarked.

“I used it for inspiration, I didn’t want you to go off about the decorating scheme.” Oz said.

Harry and Ron were in awe of the plush couches of tan suede and the huge flat screen mouted on the wall in front of them a pool table over in the corner, and every kind of food imaginable laid out for them. Ron eagerly took a spot on the couch with a bag of chips and started munching, Harry sat down on the other end of the couch just staring taking everything in. Coco and Oz sat on the other couch they stared at the boys for a few moments.

“If I’d known this shit would be this boring I would have hung out and studied with Loony.” Oz said.

“Pick a damn movie.” Coco shoved the stack of DVD’s at Harry.

“I’m not in the mood for movies.” Harry said.

“He’s afraid of ‘em.” Ron said around a mouthful of food, “He told me he was afraid of scary movies and these look pretty damn scary.”

Ron picked up a DVD and studied it, “Who’s Freddy Kruger?”

“Don’t say that name!” Harry shouted covering his ears.

“You can say the name of You-Know-Who who is a real villian who has tried killing you loads of times and you’re afraid of a Muggle movie? Still? It’s been years since your Uncle made you watch those.” Ron said.

“I want to know about you girls, tell me about yourselves.” Harry changed the subject rather clumisly.

“Well, we’ve been friends forever, since the moment she was born. Probably before.” Oz said pointing at Coco.

“I’m six months younger.” Coco explained.

“When’s your birthdays?” Harry asked.

“December twenty fourth…I was born in Manhatten New York, my mom was getting coffee after she’d gone with Coco’s mom to go shopping and she went into labor.” Oz explained, “The day before Christmas in a crowded coffee shop.”

“I on the other hand was born in a hospital, in New York New York, Cedars Siangi Hosptial on July fourth.” Coco said, “Both of our familes were living in New York at the time, and it was when my Papi was still around and things were good for the first eight years. We went to the same elementary school and everything.”

“We got into so much trouble.” Oz said laughing, “Remember the turtle incident.”

“What happened with the turtle?” Ron asked

“Well in the second grade this crazy girl made our class pet disappear.” Oz said

“That stupid turtle bit me.” Coco wined “You got a lot of room to talk you made that beast reappear.”

“Our teacher was so pissed she thought that we hid that turtle and when we said that we couldn’t put Mr. Snappy back in the cage she made us call our mom’s and the moment our mom’s got there, I’d be damned I made that damn turtle pop back up.” Oz said with a laugh

“I bet you got up to a lot of crazy things…” Harry said laughing.

“What happened when you actually did go to Salem?” Ron asked.

“We had some crazy times at Salem.” Coco said.

“We did let’s just start with our biggest expolit to date…that would be the one that got us expelled.” Oz said.

“We blew up the the potions lab…” Coco reaveled.

“What?” Ron said gaping.

“And I thought flying a car to school in second year made the top of the list.” Harry said, “But we didn’t get expelled, no matter how hard Snape lobbied for that to that happen.”

“We were already in detention and she decides to make a highly illegal and expermental potion that she didn’t tell me the right ingriedients to put in it–” Coco began before Oz interuppeted.

“Nuh uh…you put that stuff in cause you said it smelled bad. You did it.” Oz accused.

“You didn’t stop me you knew what it was going to do.” Coco said.

“That was irrelevant. You know I can’t stop you when you put your mind to something. And besides I wanted to see how bad it would blow it up. It squirted all this gross blue scretions on me. That’s how I got this lovely little blue streak in my hair.” Oz explained, “Coco actually had enough sense to dive up under the table.

“I wasn’t going to get soaked in that funky juice and ruin my outfit. I put up a shield to get through the blast of course. That shit will never wash out until the potions run its course whatever it was supposed to do anyways.” Coco said.

“I’m not to sure I think it was supposed to make all the evil in the world clear to see or whatever.” Oz cocked her head to the side trying to remember.

“Why were you in detention?” Harry asked.

“We were always in detention for something. I think it was because of the talent show incident.” Coco said.

“May, I ask what happened at this talent show?” Ron asked cocking an eyebrow.

“It started out so innocent, really,” Coco began.

“We could reinact it for them.” Oz said.

“Alright…” Coco took out her wand and waved it over them and they were wearing their smedium Pussy Cat Dolls outfits.

“Oh hell no. I said could not should. Nor did I said would.” Oz said.

“Just do the dance.” Coco said.

“Alright but no singing I doubt they’ve even heard the song.” Oz said.

“Fine.” Coco said.

The girls stood up in front of the boys and did the little hip shaking two step that went along with a song called “Hey big spender” which was redone by the Pussy Cat Dolls.

“Coco got the bright idea to fling off her tank top and do the rest of the perfomance in just her bra and shorts. Our principal didn’t like that at all.” Oz explained.

“Oh, please do it again.” Harry mumbled.

“What was that?” Coco asked.

“Take your top off!” Ron jeered staring at Oz.

“Hold your horses cowboy, we ain’t going there just yet.” Coco said transforming their outfits into their pajamas.

“When can we go there and can I bring toys?” Harry asked.

“Harry owns a pair of hand cuffs, Colin Creevey gave them as a gag for Christmas and he never thought he’d try them out. I highly doubted he’d get close enough to even talk to a girl much less put handcuffs on her.” Ron said.

“Just because I didn’t spend all of last term snogging one of the founding memebers of the the society of promsicurity doesn’t mean I’m some kind of of hopeless romantic dork.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah yeah whatever…” Ron said.

“What does snogging mean?” Oz asked.

Coco got up and hopped on Harry’s lap, “This is snogging,” Coco crushed her lips to his and he kissed back hungrily.

“Harry hasn’t done much of that…” Ron smirked.

“Keep teasing that boy or you won’t do much of it.” Oz said.

“Fine my mouth is shut.” Ron said.

“Stop eating each other’s faces, I thought we were talking, and I havent heard nearly enough about you Mr. Weasley. Everyone knows all about the famous Harry Potter. I don’t want to hear anymore about how inexperinced he is.” Oz said, “And ain’t nothing wrong with being inexpereinced.”

“Virgins are fun to teach.” Coco smirked biting Harry’s neck.

“Stop that before you make the poor boy come in his pants…” Oz said.

“Get back on your own side, if you keep doing that we’ll never get to learn anything about each other.” Ron said, “There is more to life than shagging. If you don’t know the person first that’s all you’ll have is a great shag or two and nothing else.”

“Been there done that huh playa?” Coco asked returning to her spot on the couch.

“Yes,” Ron said.

“How long was your longest realtionship?” Oz asked.

“On and off for a whole term,” Ron answered.

“And you?” Oz asked Harry.

“Twelve days.” Harry blushed, “And you two?”

“Six months…” Oz said.

“Four and half years.” Coco revealed.

“Bloody hell.” Harry moaned.

“Yeah, they were practically married.” Oz said.

“It was on and off.” Coco said, “We only had two weeks worth of good times anyways.”

“Who were you with all that time?” Harry asked.

“One of the blackest Wizards on the planet. He’s not that dark but he’s real ghetto.” Oz explained, “His name is Cory Grinewaldi, he’s pureblood and he lives in a housing development in New York. He thinks he’s a Wizarding Thug he’s got a big ass watermelon head.”

“And you who were you with?” Ron asked.

“Alfonso Rodriquez.” Oz answered simply, “He was a real shrimpy shrimp. Little Mexican boy that Coco thought would be a good match for me. Too bad I was like a giant compard to him.”

“You two had a lot of the same intrests I thought you’d be great together and you were.” Coco pointed out.

“We both liked to smoke weed and talk noise and skate board that’s about as deep as our connection went.” Oz said dryly, “He tried to eat my face a time or two.”

“That’s probably not all he ate.” Coco snickered.

Oz turned red and decided to change the subject, “Who wants to play truth or dare?”

“Ooh…I’ve heard of this game. Hermione told me about it. But we never wanted to play with her…” Ron said.

“Why?” Oz asked.

“She asks the tough questions.” Ron said with a knowing smile.

“Fine, truth or dare Ron…” Coco said with a micheivous smirk.

“Fuck it…dare…” Ron answered.

“Fine, I dare you to strip down to your boxers and remain that way until you are asked truth or dare once more.” Coco said.

“Fine.” Ron said standing up and pulling his t-shirt over his head his pajama pants were soon to follow.

Finally he was standing before them in just a pair blue boxers.

“Mate, you are so pale,” Harry said.

“Fuck you…” Ron said taking a seat on the couch.

“It’s you’re turn to ask someone truth or dare?” Coco explained.

“Alright…Harry truth or dare?” Ron asked.

“Truth…” Harry said.

“Pussy…” Ron muttered.

“Do you wank in the room while we’re sleeping?” Ron asked.

“Is it too late to pick dare?” Harry asked.

“Don’t punk out now Potter.” Oz said.

“Fine…on occasion.” Harry said.

“You sick, sick, sad boy…that disturbs me… I thought you might’ve been doing that…but I was going to give you the benfit of having a nightmare.” Ron said shaking his head.

“I guess it’s my turn…Oz, truth or dare?” Harry asked.

“Dare.” Oz said easily.

“I dare you to you strip down to your undies and sit in Ron’s lap until you’re asked a question.” Harry said with a smirk.

“Lame-o!” Oz said procedding to strip down to her pink cotton boy shorts and her matching pink bra.

She took a seat on Ron’s lap surpsingly he was only sporting a semi.

“How you doing?” Oz asked him.

“Fine…” Ron grunted.

“Coco, truth or dare?” Oz asked.

“Dare.” Coco said.

“I dare you to take off your bra.” Oz said.

“What…I need it…I like it…but it’s pretty you want to see it?” Coco asked.

“Just take it off…” Oz said.

“Fine, my titties are going to be loose.” Coco said.

“Set them free baby,” Harry said.

Coco reached around and unclipped her bra pulling it out of the sleeves of her green tanktop. She threw the purple lace bra at Harry.

“Harry, truth or dare?” Coco asked.

“Dare…” he said with a sigh.

“Finally deciding to man up?” Oz asked.

Harry just glared at her, “I wanted to do something cool.”

“Grown…you want to do something grown, we don’t say cool unless we’re at a total loss for words…” Oz explained.

“Fine I wanted to do something grown.” Harry said.

“I dare you to tongue kiss Ron.” Coco said with a smirk.

“Ooh rauchy I like…” Oz said.

“Hell no…” came the dual comments from the boys.

“Fine you can dare us to kiss or whatever if you want…” Coco said.

“We made out for a bunch of guys to get free drinks in New Orleans once.” Oz said, “It’s not that big of a deal. Imagine it as acting…imagine it’s someone else.”

“Fine…fuck you.” Harry said.

“You be a good boy you might get to…” Coco said.

Harry got up and leaned over Oz and kissed Ron, it was soft and simple at first the Harry allowed Ron to deepen the kiss. They broke apart seconds later wiping their mouths in disgust.

“You taste like old potatos…” Harry said.

“The chips mate…” Ron said.

“I think he tastes alright…” Oz said.

“Fine if you think so I dare you to lick his nipples…” Harry said.

“That means I can get dressed. So fuck you mutha sucka.” Oz said putting on her pajamas before proceeding to give Ron the best nipple suck of his life.

She stopped when he yelped in pain, “You bit me girl…”

“Nobody said biting was out of the question.” Oz said with a smirk.

“Harry truth or dare?” Oz asked.

“Dare.” Harry answered the challege with a resolve face.

“I dare you to swap underwear with Coco. She gets to put her shorts back on over the boxers but you have to sit there in just her thong and bra until it’s your turn again.” Oz said.

“You are so wrong for that…you better be glad I got on draws Harry Potter.” Coco said standing up and going behind the couch to pull off her shorts and thong mostly so Ron wouldn’t get smacked for peeping at her pussy.

She handed Harry her thong, he’d gone to the other side to take off his clothes. He handed her his boxers. Then once they were dressed, they took their places on the couches needless to say that Coco’s thong was a bit small and not built to hold Harry’s assets. He was hanging out of the thing.

“My eyes, my shimmering lagoon blue eyes have been assualted by the sight of Harry’s hairy balls.” Ron said buring his face in his hands.

“Ron, truth or dare?” Harry asked.

“Yes!” Ron said putting his pajama pants on and leaving his t-shirt lying on the floor.

“Truth or dare?” Harry reminded him.

“Dare.” Ron said.

“I dare you to tonguefuck Oz’s navel.” Harry said.

“Man, that is so lame.” Oz said lifting up her shirt and standing up and moving in front of him.

“I’ll agree but I’m more than happy to oblige.” Ron smirked leaning in and gripping her hips.

He dipped his tongue into her navel gently flicking it for a few seconds his hands lowering to cup her ass as he proceeded to give her the navel job of her life.

Oz couldn’t help but groan, she’d never seen the point in navel licking, or much in foreplay in general for reasons that she knew were destined to surface sooner or later. Ron lapped harder at her navel and she began to breathe heavier finally Ron stopped, and she was almost damming him for doing so.

“Damn, you were a little in to that.” Coco observed.

“Was not, I’m just embarrassed a bit.” Oz said.

“You don’t get embarassed,” Coco pointed out, “Unless your doing a public speaking.”

“Fuck you… damn your tongue Ronald Weasley.” Oz took a seat on the couch.

“Makes you wonder what else I can do with it.” Ron said winking.

“Not until now.” Oz blushed deeper.

“Now you’re blushing nobody has ever made you blush before.” Coco observed, “What’s gotten into you?”

“Shut the fuck up. Please would you dare someone to do something so you motherfuckers can quit staring at me!” Oz pleaded with Ron.

“Fine, you asked for it, Oz I dare you to–” Ron began.

“How’d you know I’d even want to pick dare?” Oz asked.

“Truth is boring.” Ron said rolling his eyes.

“Dare me already…” Oz said.

“I dare you to give Coco a lapdance.” Ron said with a smirk.

“I’m game.” Coco said leaning back in her chair.

Oz got up and smirked at Harry and Ron before waking over to Coco.

Coco flicked her wand and music began to play something neither of the boys reconized. Oz clothes transformed into a short skirt and thong and a lacy bra. She began to gyrate in front of Coco and the boys were drooling. They looked silly gaping.

“Bloody brilliant.” Ron said.

Oz had finished her dance, and she was giggling.

“Now I think it’s time to have a smoke.” Oz said pulling out her pipe and putting it to her lips lighting it and inhailing deeply. “Now that really hits the spot.”

Coco lit her chocolate flavored blunt and smirked, “True that.”

“What about some for me?” Harry asked.

“Fine.” Coco said, knowing she’d never get that blunt back once she passed it to him.

“Coco, truth or dare?” Oz asked.

“Truth…” Coco said.

“Good cause I didn’t have a dare planned.” Oz said, “Did you give Cory a hand job the first week you got with him.”

“No, he went down on me first. Then I didn’t talk to him for a week.” Coco said.

“That’s a bit too much info for me.” Ron said.

“Why didn’t you speak to him for a week?” Harry asked.

“Tut tut you’re speaking out of turn.” Coco said, “Oz truth or dare.”

“Truth, I don’t feel like getting up again.” Oz said.

“Okay, how far did you go with Alf?” Coco asked.

“Second base.” Oz revealed.

“What! That’s a damn lie ya’ll used to sleep in the same bed you was wearing that maiyne’s draws and everything.” Coco said.

“We didn’t fuck sorry, I’ve still got my V-card.” Oz said laughing, if she weren’t getting stoned, she wouldn’t find this nearly as amusing as she did then.

“You’re fucking kidding me, you lied to me!” Coco shouted.

“I didn’t lie, I just witheld the truth, you know what happens when you assume Coco. You make an ass out of you and me.” Oz said.

“Whatever…” Coco said.

“Harry truth or dare?” Oz asked.

“Fine, since we’re on this truth kick, dare…” Harry said.

“Well since we both still have our V-cards. I dare you to switch back your clothes, you have redress Coco and while your at it, I dare you eat her out while you get her dressed.” Oz said.

“What!” Harry asked.

“She said you have to undress me and eat me out and then dress me again, hop to it Potter.” Coco said rearranging herself on couch.

Oz got up and moved over to the other side of the room and handed Ron her pipe, he put his lips to it and immediately took a hit off it.

Harry crawled over to her and slid off her shorts and his boxers, he stared at her.

“You’re completely hairless.” Harry exclaimed.

“Ron stop staring at her snatch.” Oz said.

“I’ve never seen a black pussy before. Nor have I seen one that’s completely shaved before so give me a moment.” Ron said.

Harry lowered his head and gave her a few tenative licks. Coco allowed this until she got frustrated at his poor techinque and his timidness.

“Harry just stop all your doing is getting me horny and you don’t know how to fix that problem yet.” Coco said.

“Was I even close to getting it right?” Harry asked.

“You’re eager, but you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll have time to practice, but later. And I don’t like instructing you with an audience.” Coco said.

“We won’t laugh at the poor chap.” Ron snickered.

“You are laughing you git.” Harry said.

“That’s because you’re hopeless in the sack.” Ron said.

“Fuck you.” Harry indignantly pulled on his boxers and finally his pajamas and put Coco’s panties and shorts back on her.

“Truth or dare Oz?” Coco asked.

“It ain’t your turn.” Oz said.

“I know, but that was a dare that was done to me. And I’m tired of this game I was going to dare you turn on the movie.” Coco said.

“I can do that.” Oz said getting up and setting up the first disc of Nightmare on Elm Street.

Harry settled himself next to Coco and Oz took her seat next to Ron. It was clear who started the make out war, it was Harry out of desperation to ingore Freddy Kruger’s killing spree. It wasn’t clear who won the competetition but Harry was very frustrated that he’d started the game in the first place.

The state of them when they finally fell asleep on the third disc, would have curled Snape’s greasy hair had he saw them Ron was half on top of Oz, with his hand on her bare midriff she had a leg thrown over his back. Coco was sleeping on her stomach and Harry was pressed into her rear end and still hard.

The next morning they were sneaking back into their respective houses just after the day had dawned, Oz found Luna lying in a rumpled bed with a half naked Draco wrapped around her. He was wearing an absurd black turtleneck and absoultely nothing else.

“Get the fuck out of my room!” Oz thundered, “I’ve seen enough cock for one night thank you. And none of the ones I saw were the one I wanted to see.”

Draco rolled over and smiled, giving her the full veiw of his soft manhood.

“Damn that shit is tiny.” Oz said, “How do you manage to do anything with that?”

“Hey! I’m not even turned on yet, wait till it gets hard it’s like a python.” Draco defended.

“It’s the perfect size to stimulate my g-spot contrubiting to multiple orgasmic bliss.” Luna said dreamily burying her head in his chest.

“Be that as it may, put that shit away.” Oz said, “I’m going back to sleep.”

Draco rose and got dressed, “I should go, Blaise is probably going to discuss what happened with Cho last night.”

“Before you go I’ve got to ask you playa, why do you keep your shirt on when you fuck?” Oz asked, “It’s fucking weird.”

“I don’t know either, I’ve never thought to ask…” Luna said, “Dragon, how come you keep your shirt on?”

“Mind your business.” Draco said striding toward the door, “I’ll see you later Moon, Ozwald, tell no one of this…”

“Why would I tell that I was peter gazing you?” Oz said shuddering, “I don’t think anyone gives a damn how tiny and pale your penis is?”

“My penis is not tiny.” He barked before leaving the room

That night set the tone for many other sleepovers the weeks bled into a month. One night they had to put off the sleepovers. Hermione was more than a little upset, Ron wasn’t just blowing off prefect duty he’d lost house points, Draco wouldn’t be there either and the two Ravenclaws were too into studying, Blaise spent the whole time sleeping, and the Hufflepuff prefects were all stoned. Oz had taken to dealing her own supply to get more galleons and sickles. All the work was put off on Hermione and she was very unhappy.

They’d all got detention for various reasons it was the group dubbed as the Hogwarts six plus two twin Weasleys. Snape was giving the detention and made the mistake of leaving them alone in his potions classroom. Hagrid had needed his assistance and he had to leave the room. Oz was expermienting with a potion that Snape had half made that was simmering in a caldron.

“Don’t be throwing nothing in there you don’t know what he’s making.” Coco said.

“He’s making a calming drought it’s so second year.” Oz said.

“What if it isn’t?” Harry asked, “You could botch it big time if you put in the wrong ingredients.”

“I be trying to tell her. Look at her she don’t wanna listen.” Coco said.

There was a crash from the other side of the room the three Weasleys had broken a bunch of potion vials trying to play hackey sack.

“My fault.” F-Baby said.

“You better clean that up before he gets back I don’t want to hear his mouth.” Oz said adding ells eyes into the potion.

“Reparo.” The three boys chanted and the damage was fixed.

“You want to go into his cupboard?” Harry winked at Coco.

Coco rolled her eyes.

“Go head. Bring me back some thyme.” Oz said.

“Like Morris Day and the Time?” Coco asked, “I don’t even think he owns any CD’s.”

“No, thyme like rosemary and thyme. The shit your mama puts on her pot roast.” Oz said.

“That shit tastes like grass…” Coco said.

“Come on…” Harry led her into the closet.

“Thyme please!” Oz shouted.

Harry threw some thing in a baggie out to her.

The Weasley’s moved closer to where Oz was making the potion. Luna and Draco were entertaining themselves with groping and weren’t paying attention what Oz was doing.

Unfortunately the boys were still playing hackey sack and knocked another half close potion into Oz’s caldron.

“Oh snap! Hit that deck.” Oz dived under the table expecting the potions to explode but a mist wafted out of the caldron it passed through the room and right under the door the fog got more dense, everyone in the room was coughing even Coco and Harry came out of the closet coughing.

“What did you do?” Coco demanded.

“He did it!” the Weasleys accused each other.

“It doesn’t matter who did it the potion didn’t do shit.” Oz said coming from under the table.

“Yeah nothings happened.” Harry said before he tugged on Coco’s hand, “Now who wants to go back into the cupboard with me?”

Coco was on her way into the closet with him, “What do you think you’re going to get to do to me before Snape comes back?”

“Who cares…” Harry said before guitar cords and cymbals wailed as Fall Out Boy’s Of all the Gin Joints in the World began to play instrumentally.

Harry clutched his middle before bursting into song.

“You only hold me up like this because you don’t know who I really am…”

Harry was actually a very good singer, it suprized even him as he continued singing the song. Coco was always playing the song and by now Harry knew it by heart by the time he hit the final chorus she was clinging to him whispering about how fucking wet she was.

“Damn Potter! Do you have to be good at sodding everything?” Draco demanded, “Fourtunately I’m better.”

“We should really be asking why I burst into song? Where in the world did that music come from. I could swear Pete Wentz was in the room.” Harry said looking around.

“Could be a side effect of the potion, or you could be some fucking kind of a show tune singing fairy.” Oz said.

The door burst open and Snape strutted into the room with Hagrid in tow.

“What did you do?” Snape demanded.

“Nothing…” Oz and Coco said.

“He did it!” the Weasley boys stated pointing at Draco.

“I was in the storage cupboard.” Harry answered.

“I was wanking my Dragon.” Luna responded happily.

“I told you not to mention that and maybe no one would’ve noticed.” Draco said.

“I’m sorry Dragon.” Luna said.

“I am never leaving you little…rodents alone again!” Snape said through clenched teeth.

“I was finishing your potion. I thought it was calming drought.” Oz began staring at an interesting spot on her sneakers.

“It was vertiserum, but continue Miss Ozwald.” Snape looked paler than normal.

“Apparently, we’ve added an ingredient to it that seems to make truth come out by way of a song.” Oz contiuned.

“That explains a lot.” Hagrid said.

“NEVER mention that to anyone.” Snape hissed turning his head to Hagrid his greasy hair swinging as he did.

Different music began to play, this time it was Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. Snape burst into song this time.

“I’m going to clean up your looks with all the lies in the books…Teenagers scare the living shit out of me. They can care less as long as someone will bleed. So tuck in your clothes and strike a violent pose. Maybe they will leave you alone! But not me!”

The song mercifully ended for the greasy haired teacher, the students and Hagrid were all gaping.

“He really doesn’t have the voice for it but he’s got presence.” Oz shrugged.

“With that I will agree.” Hagrid said, “The other song was mostly screaming. I didn’t catch any of the words.”

“Leave now, it will take some time for me to brew the antidote. If I can figure out what you brats have done. I will see you tomorrow at this time. Next time don’t touch my bloody things.” Snape said and the group followed Hagrid out of the room leaving behind the professor.

“He’s bloody pissed.” Ron said stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“I really hope I don’t burst into singing in middle of classes.” Harry blushed.

“You’d better not I don’t want those skanky girls all over you throwing panties and shit.” Coco said.

Harry blushed deeper.

“Bloody hell, will I sing too?” Ron asked nervously.

“If Snape did we all probably will. His mind shields are nearly inpentrable.” Coco said.

The night drew to a close with horrid singing from all of their roommates, Coco had to suffer through the torture of Pansy’s singing, Bubbly, a song made famous by Cobie Calliat an Amercian singer songwriter that Pansy herself had never heard of. The song was offically Pansified.

“When he sucks on my toes he wrinkles his nose…wherever he goes I wish his penis shows.”

The torture finally ended when Coco threw a book at her, the History of Magic book she was studying before the singing broke out.

Oz had to deal with Luna’s delicate high piched vocals singing various songs all about Draco.

“Sings Weak by SWV”

Harry and Ron walked in on Seamus and Dean singing love songs to each other.

“I’ll make love to you, like you want me to…” they were singing.

“They are singing as a duo not a duet so I don’t think we have anything to worry about.” Ron said.

“I’m going to sleep with one eye open I don’t play that shit, waking up with a finger in your arse and a dick in your face ain’t fun, trust me.” Harry said.

“Is there something you’re not telling me Mate?” Ron chuckled.

“Dudley was having a sleepover, and Aunt Petunia was feeling genrous and let me join them. I woke up and his friends were prodding me, they told me not to say anything to Dudley.” Harry explained.

“What did you do to get them back? That must have been awful.” Ron said.

“Worse has happened believe me, better then than old Voldy invading my mind with his freakshow sexcapades with Bellatrix.” Harry said.

“That’s just disgusting, why would he do that?” Ron asked.

“Why would he do her for that matter, he’s an old stanky pedaphile. I’m going to have to learn Occlemency, which means I have to grovel to Snape, or Oz could teach me.” Harry said.

“It’s about time, after that I would have ran screaming crying to Snape to wash my mind.” Ron said.

“Mostly from Coco, there are things I’ve seen that I don’t want her to see. You know…” Harry said.

“Like You-Know-Who and that shewitch?” Ron said.

“No, other little mind grams he’s sent me.” Harry said, “Things are changing.”

“We’ll deal with it tommorrow I need sleep to deal with Snape tommorrow.” Ron said.

Oz and Coco were walking into the Great Hall, when they heard music playing.

“Not this shit again.” Oz groaned.

“You haven’t any right to complain, you got to listen to Luna’s singing. I had to put up with Pansy’s singing. She sounded like a cat being beat to death.” Coco complained.

“You can bet there’s nothing but net when I’m on the pitch and looking for gold. I’ve got a confession my own secret obsession and it’s making me lose control.” Draco was singing as they entered.

“Everybody gather ‘round,” the Slytherin table sang.

“Well, I’m in the mood to tell my secrets, I’m in love with Loony Lovegood. She’s my Moon, and I’m her Dragon, I got good pussy, she makes it rain.” Draco said.

“Not another sound.” The group chorused.

“Did she go down?” Megalus asked.

“Oh no, Oh no, no, no!” The group sang, “Stick to the stuff you know, stick to the status quo.”

“Look at me and what do you see? Intelligence beyond compare, but inside I’m stirring something strange is occurring it’s a secret I need to share…” Hermione sang.

“Open up dig way down deep.” The Gryffindor table sang.

“Gambling is my passion, I like to place bets and throw dice.” Hermione said.

“Is that even legal?” Neville asked.

“Not another peep.” The Gryffindors sang.

“It’s just gambling sometimes I think it’s cooler than tutoring.” Hermione said.

“Stick to the stuff you know, it is better by far to keep things as they are. Don't mess with the flow, no no. Stick to the status quo.”

A dark haired Ravenclaw boy started singing, “Listen well, I’m ready to tell, theres a need I cannot deny. I’m bored and horny guy, I can’t explain my sitution without having to unzip my fly.”

“Speak your mind and you’ll be heard.” The Ravenclaws sang.

“I’m fucking Pansy Parkinson,” The boy revealed.

“Are you using a condom?” the boys at the table asked.

“Hell yes.” He responded.

“No, no, no, nooooooooooo, No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know. If you wanna be cool follow one simple rule. Don't mess with that stanky ho, no no. stick to the status quoooooooo” The Ravenclaws sang.

“This is not what I want, this is not what I planned, and I’ve just got to say I do not understand, Harry is supposed to be my man!” Cho Chang sang.

“Something’s not right–” Ginny started to sing from where she sat with Pansy, Lavender, Cho, and two Hufflepuff girls.

“Something is really wrong…” Cho over sang Ginny, “And we’ve got to get things back where they belong,” they both finished.

The whole hall burst out singing random bits at the same time, “No, No, blow blow, skanky hoe, don’t fuck that hoe no…”

“Everybody quiet!” Minerva shouted.

The silence in the hall was deafing.

“Why is everyone staring at you playa?” Oz asked Coco.

“They ain’t staring at me, they staring at you.” Coco said.

“What? I can’t have people staring at me, getting all up in my grill. They don’t even much no me like that. I get parniod in this muthafucka.” Oz said.

“Oh hell no no, no, don’t fuck that skanky hoe! Let her blow, blow, blow, just to blow your load, load, load. Don’t stick that stanky hoe.”

“I won sixteen galleons today!” Hermione shouted.

“She is a gambling ho!” Susan Bones said.

“Not another word.” Minerva shouted again the music finally stopped and everyone went back to normal. Well about as normal as they could be after that song, Megalus was trying to get over to the Ravenclaw table but Da Washa and Da Drya were holding him back.

“I’m going to get your punk ass Michael Corner, that’s why I’m going to fuck that Weasley bitch of yours!” Megalus screamed after finally being subedued, “Pansy, we was supposed to be manogoumus!”

“Manogomus is one of those words like statistic, that dear Pansy doesn’t understand.” Draco drawled.

Coco didn’t experience anymore singing until DADA class, which the fifth year slow class was allowed to attend and Neville was dozing and Oz was listening to the lecture Drew was giving with rapt attention desprate to learn better defense moves.

Coco was daydreaming and Oz wasn’t accpeting her text messages she was trying to beat Hermione at copying notes. The room was quiet except for the scratch of two quills attempting to out write each other.

“She’s got to be somebody’s baby,” Neville began to sing staring in Hermione’s direction.

Hermione was still oblivious but everyone else with ears turned to gape at him and his amazing singing voice, no one expected such a voice to come out of Neville Longbottom.

Oz stopped taking notes to glare at him for interrupting her note taking with his song stylings, and Hermione took the lead with her note taking.

Girls and boys alike were oohing and ahhing over Neville’s sweet pipes, his voice was low and deep and every bit as soulful as any R&B singer. Coco was even transfixed by his vocals. Oz tried not to let it distract her but she ended up sighing and gazing at him as well.

Ron and Harry got over the novelty of Neville’s voice and were fuming because their girlfriends were practically salivating over Neville and ingoring them at the moment.

Draco was very upset because he was trying to sweet talk Luna into meeting him in the Room of Requirement after class but it was extremely hard to get the blonde to pay attention to his heavy flirtation.

Other than Hermione, Drew was the least ruffled by the singing he continued to write notes on the board after a breif pause to find out where the source of the vocals was coming from and turned back to the board with a smirk.

Neville was about as red in the face as a tomato, so much so that his cheeks were actually glowing. He tried to disappear into his seat sinking down as far as he could.

“Mr. Longbottom just gave me a fascinating idea for a special event at Hogwarts. We should put on a musical, we can’t have you all graduating without taking part in a High School Musical.” Drew said.

“We have enough special events that I’m not going to attend thank you very much.” Oz said.

“We’re going to do High School Musical? And can I be Sharpay? That’s all I’m going to ask for.” Coco said.

“Not that particular play but maybe another one, perhaps West Side Story or something.” Drew shrugged taking a seat behind his desk.

“That doesn’t work for me. What about Hairspray? I’ll even settle for Crybaby.” Coco tried to negotiate.

“Oh hell no, you’re going to try out for another musical, you’ve done them all at the community theatre, I ain’t getting roped into painting no sets while I wait for your ass.” Oz said, “You know that’s going to cut into our smoking time.”

“It won’t.” Coco assured her.

“Remember when I wanted to get a job that was all you could talk about was it cutting into our smoking time.” Oz said.

“It’s not like you really wanted to work at McDonald’s anyway.” Coco said.

“How are you going to get the heads of the school to agree to this?” Draco asked smugly.

“Not only do I have special permission from Professor McGonnagall and the Headmaster I have express permission from the Govenor of the school whom I believe is your father Mr. Malfoy.” Drew said sounding equally smug.

“I believe in order to arrange any event I’ll just need to get Professor Snape to assist with the project.” Drew explained, “Anyone who wants to sign up is more than welcome to do so, and on that note you guys can leave class early.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before he get Sevie to agree to that.” Coco muttered as they were walking out of the classroom.

“Yeah, you know how he is.” Ron said.

“You’d actually try out for the musical?” Oz asked.

“I don’t know…” Ron said, “But Neville definitely should.”

“Musicals are only for drama queens and queers, which category are you in?” Oz asked Ron.

Ron glared at her and said while cupping himself, “I got your queer right here.”

“Ronald please don’t grab yourself in public, I told you it’s disgusting.” Hermione said stalking past him.

“How ‘bout I grab him then?” Oz asked.

“You both are disgusting animals,” Hermione growled turning around midstep causing everyone behind her to stop and stare, “Just remember I won’t be covering for you at Prefect Duty while you two are off mauling each other’s faces next time you host one of your shagovers.”

“Not that it’s any of your business we’re not fucking yet.” Oz told Hermione before demanding of Ron, “And why were you pawning your work off on Miss Tightass?”

“I–I…you wanted to hang out…and I wanted to be with you. She said she didn’t mind.” Ron stuttered.

“That is no reason for her to have to do her job and yours too, once or twice is fine. Anymore than that is taking advantage of her lack of common sense.” Oz began, she was more than a little perturbed by Ron’s irresponsibilty.

“Of course I mind honestly Ronald, it happens every weekend!” Hermione exclaimed.

“What if she…not that it would ever happen had a date?” Oz asked.

“Well, I do the same for her if that were a possibilty.” Ron said.

Hermione huffed and stalked off.

“You are so insenstive.” Harry said, “She’s been being very distant lately I think she’s depressed or something.”

“It’s your fault if she jumps off the Astronmy Tower.” Coco said pointing at Ron.

“She knows a spell to stop her from hitting the ground hard, she’ll be alright…” Oz said.

“If the stupid bird wants to off herself let her have at it. It’ll be one less Mudblood polutting our world.” Draco said as he tried to pass between Coco and Harry.

Coco tripped him at the same time Harry hit him in the back of the head. The blonde Slytherin not only hit the ground with a thump but he sprawled out disgracefully all over the floor.

“Call her a Mudblood again and we’ll get to see some of that pretty blue blood of yours Malfoy, next time you say that I’ll hex your balls off.” Coco said.

“What bitch!” Oz shouted leaning over Draco.

“You got knocked the hell out.” Neville taunted walking by.

“You pay for that comment Longbottom, Luna help me up.” Draco said.

Luna made no move to do so, “Dragon, you must really learn how to speak to my friends. If you continue to go around treating them like the underside of a Crumpled Horn Snorcack’s bum you’re the one behaving like an inferior, and for that you will not be worthy of my company.”

“Moon, wait! I’m sorry…” Draco picked himself off the ground and proceeded to run behind his girlfriend who was skipping down the corridor.

“I didn’t think Malfoy was capable of an actual apology.” Ron said.

“You’ve got somethings to apolgize for, too, but not to me. You’ve got to make up slacking off and leaving Hermione to do your dirty work. Until then you won’t be worthy of my company.” Oz said.

“What? I didn’t do anything…” Ron said.

“Exactly. Come on Coco lets find Luna and smoke out.” Oz said.

“What about me?” Harry said.

“You have to go monitor Ron’s apology, make sure he doesn’t make Hermione jump off the Astronmy tower.” Oz told Harry.

“I can apologise all on my own.” Ron said.

“No, you can’t. You’ll end up practically pushing the bitch off the ledge.” Coco said.

“You need a script Mate.” Harry said.

“I should be used to this by now.” Ron said.

“Used to coming up with half assed apologies to satisfy the women in your life?” Oz asked.

“No, trying to come up with something good enough so I can stay in their good graces.” Ron said.

“Go do what I said, you’re making yourself sound like a jackass. I know you’re not a full time jackass. You just moonlight as one every once and a while.” Oz said.

“We go smoke, you go lie to Hermione.” Coco said, “Let me know if you hear any more about the musical.”

On their way to go find Luna the girls ran into Fred and George, who were leaning against a wall wearing jackets that were too heavy for the season, no doubt they were hiding their snack boxes in there.

“Say girls…we’ve got a proposition for you…” Fred began.

“We’ve been thinking of selling Canibus, we feel it could be a lucrative business venture between Weasley Wizarding Wheezes and yourself, unless you can think of something better.” George continued.

“Something equally pleasing, but far less lucrative.” Fred finished.

“Do you want to fuck us or whore us out?” Coco asked.

“Neither one is an option.” Oz said, “If you’d like to sell some weed for me you’re more than welcome to move the shit on campus, of course I must review your business plan and I get sixty you get forty.”

“How come? There are two of us, we should go half and half with this. You get fifty we get fifty.” Fred said.

“Supply and demand, supply and demand Nigga, break it down for them Oz.” Coco said.

“I’m sure people have heard we were holding, and then they will be jocking on our stash.”Oz explained, “I supply the supply, without the weed why would they pay you? You’re just like salesmen get it, you’ll get a commession but I’ll keep the perectage of the profits.”

“You got the drugs we don’t we get it.” Fred said.

“We had to try,” George said.

“You know.” Fred finshed.

“Of course, draw up a business plan sumbit it, if you can convince Coco I would’nt worry about my answer.”Oz walked on ahead of Coco.

“You will present to me why you think you can do well at this and not manage to fuck up and smoke all her weed. She might care about shortages on the cash but I coulda been smoking that!” Coco said.

“Go work on that and then get at me!” Coco said following Oz down the the hall.

“You know we will.” Fred shouted.

On the way to find Hermione, Ron ran into Lavender Brown she was surrounded as usual by her cronies Cho, and Pansy, today Ginny joined their ranks.

Lavender whispered something to the others and they walked off giggling, Ron was trying to get the hell away before she spotted him but as usual Harry didn’t understand that, he had to say hello to her.

“Hi Lav, what’s been going on–” Harry began just before Lavender pushed him into the wall making a b-line for Ron who was now trapped between her and the wall.

Music began to play and Ron was praying he wouldn’t burst into song he barely noticed Lavender carressing his chest and grinding her hips into his.

“Boy you’ll never find another love as good as this so you better represent cause my love is the shhh…” Lavander began to sing.

Much to his horror Ron found a stiring in his gut and he burst out singing, “Girl you’ll never find any other dick as good as this, but you didn’t represent. My love is the shhh…”

“You keep telling me on the owl post how you got it going on and you used to keep me satisfied. Actions speak louder than words I’m going to see if you still have it for me…” Lavender sang, “I need somebody giving nothing but loving all through the night, someone who will break me off a little something when I need to be satisifed.”

Lavender and Ron both sang their choruses and Harry was looking confused and dismayed at Ron’s voice and the song itself.

“All the things I said to you they were true, I was all you ever needed. Good love is so hard to find and I didn’t waste your time. Satisfication was guarenteed. I was the lover you needed to break you off in the middle of the night. I used to take trips down town I was the freak you needed in your life.” Ron said.

“My love was the shit now it’s over with…” Ron sang against Lavender’s insistant begging for him to represent.

“You’ll never find any other man like me, Lavender. I know that but you can’t get this back.” Ron said glad that the music had stopped, he grabbed Harry and pulled him along as they walked away.

“I can’t believe… you’ve actually got a nice voice Ron…” Harry said as Ron drug him along.

“Let’s not think of it. Please don’t mention it to Oz and Coco.” Ron said.

“I think they are going to hear anyway, the society of promiscurity heard the whole song. They do more gossiping then they do blow jobs.” Harry explained.

“Should we try the Astronomy Tower first mate?” Ron asked

“No mate I doubt that she would really do that perhaps we should try the library first.” Harry said

After a futile search of the library they headed towards the Gryffindor common room. They both sighed with releif when they saw Hermione folded up in an arm chair with her favorite book Hogwarts a History.

“Before you start cursing me Hermione just hear me out…” Ron started

Before Ron could get anymore out music began and Hermione stood up and looked him dead in the eyes and began to sing,

“What I need from you is understanding, how can we communicate,
If you don't hear what I say. What I need from you is understanding,
So simple as 1-2-3, understanding is what we need.”

Oz and Coco had found Luna brooding alone in Oz and Luna’s room.They walk into her singing an angry song.

“I had no choice but to hear you, you stated your case time and again. I thought about it..You treat me like I'm a princess I'm not used to liking that .You ask how my day was…” Luna sang.

“You've already won me over in spite of me. Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet. Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it
It's all your fault.” Luna sang.

Oz shaking her head pulled out her pipe took a few hits off it before offering it to Coco. Taking it Coco hit it and the two girls passed the pipe back and forth until Luna finished her song then Oz stood and walked over to Luna.

“Smoke.” Oz said and she put the pipe in Luna’s hand. “Peer pressure and such.”

Luna took a huge hit and began to cough up large amounts of smoke, she giggled and coughed before taking another hit. The second time she was met with much less resistance in her lungs.

She tried to hand it to the other two girls but they insisted that she finish the bowl. By the time she finished she was even more giggly and unsteady on her legs.

“Dragon came up to see me and I sent him away.” Luna explained, “Hermione might be a total shrew but…”

“But he shouldn’t talk to her like that and Ron shouldn’t dump on her either!” Oz said getting angry over the Hermione situation all over again.

“She is a major bitch, but I still hope she didn’t jump off the Astronmy Tower. Who else can I pay to do my homework if she offs herself?” Coco asked.

“That’s mean, and there’s always Harry he didn’t do so bad last term from what I hear.” Oz said.

“The sad thing is that I don’t think I’d have to pay him. Not with money at least he’ll probably just take a handy.” Coco said.

“Ew, that’s gross. You could at least tip the mother fucker, you can fuck him for free.” Oz said.

“That means that I’d be paying him to do my homework and I’d still have to go down on him.” Coco said.

“You love sucking dick just as much as I do so don’t even lie.” Luna leered at Coco.

“But I have to pay for it though…”Coco whined.

“Throw him a couple of bucks, he’d appreciate it.” Oz said, “Now no more talk of paying Harry for sex.”

When Hermione finally conculded her song, she looked at Ron with tears in her eyes.

“Hermione I’m sorry…” Ron whispered, “I know I haven’t been the best friend to you lately.”

“You’ve been a total arse.” Harry said.

Ron glared at his friend, “Don’t help me.”

“He’s right you have been an arse. But you haven’t been there for me either Harry, since we got on the train you two have been sniffing around those two girls like horny dogs.” Hermione said.

“We have not.” Both boys responded indignantly.

“How many times have you talked to me not out of nessicity? When you’re not asking yet another favor of me? When it’s not just idle chit chat so you don’t feel bad about yourselves for ingoring me completely?” Hermione asked.

Both boys looked down at the floor feeling equally guilty.

“We’re both dicks, and we want to make it up to you.” Ron began, “Next time we hang out we’ll ask you to come okay?”

“I’d like that. But I’m really busy with school stuff right now…” Hermione said.

“That’s the same excuse you used when I tried to get you to socicalize when I was seeing Lavender.” Ron said.

“Ron please let’s not.” Hermione wiped away her tears.

“What if we found a nice guy you could spend time with too so you wouldn’t feel left out?” Harry suggested.

“You are not setting me up again, last time I had to go out on a double date with Fred and George as my date, they kept trying to figure out which one of my breasts belonged to which of them and so on with my other body parts.” Hermione said.

“I’m talking one guy. Just one bloke Hermione. Someone like Neville or maybe Lee Jordan.” Ron said.

“I’m not interested in anyone right now…” Hermione said trying not to make eye contact with Ron.

“Just one date, I promise you’ll have a great time.” Ron said, “Plus you can get to know Oz and Coco.”

“Why would I want to? I’ve already gotten my heart crushed as a direct result of them being here.” Hermione said.

“Hermione, even if they were here do you think we’d really be together? Honestly? Have I ever made you believe that I wanted more than friendship with you?” Ron asked, “I see you as a sister and I love you like one.”

“I feel the same way, we don’t want you feel left out because of dates and lovers we’re still going to be the Trio even when we’re old and toothless.” Harry said.

Hermione smiled, “In this vision of the future you have can I at least have dentures?”

“You can have all the falsies you want.” Ron smirked.

“Ronald!” Hermione said now all out laughing.

“Does that mean you’ll agree to the date?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Why not? It could be fun I guess.” Hermione said, “We do have this weekend free from Prefect Duties, I was planning on studying but what the hell…”

“Beast.” Harry said.

“Beast?” Hermione asked.

“Yes, we’ll have to explain beast mode to you later. But right now it seems like you’re studying and we could use some study time too. Do you mind if we sit in on your study session?” Ron asked, “We won’t copy your answers or anything.”

“Sure pull up a chair, and while you’re at it tell me about this poor guy you setting me up with…” Hermione said.

“You’ve known him since first year, and that’s all we’ve got to say about that…” Ron said.

“You’re not paying him to do this or anything like that?” Hermione questioned.

“Nope, he’s willing and he’s got the hots for you…weren’t you paying attention during DADA?” Ron asked.

“Yes the lecture was facinating.” Hermione said.

“Nevermind, Mione nevermind.” Ron smirked shaking his head.

“It isn’t Zabini is it? Please don’t let it be that creatin…” Hermione said.

“Bloody hell do you think we’re trying to pawn you off on a pervert?” Ron asked, “He flashed my sister his wang. I nearly beat the living hell out of him when I heard about it, it took Crabbe and Goyle to pull me off that bastard.”

Harry laughed, “Da Washa and Da Drya don’t play no games. Actually if memory serves I think it was our favorite teacher Snape who got you away from Zabini he knocked you across the room with Stupefy, I know it sounds cooler if you say these big dudes pulled you off, but there’s no need to lie to Hermione.”

“Well, it felt like I’d been knocked across the room by them, I wanted to make myself feel better.” Ron said pouting.

The trio picked up some books and began to study they quizzed each other until the dinner bell rang.

“Now that you’ve explained that to me now I think I might be able to teach Coco how to figure that out.” Harry said.

“Good luck with that. I help mark the fifth year potions exams you’re going to need all the luck you can get.” Hermione said as they made their way out the portrait hole, other Gryffindors following them.

“Hi Hermione.” Dennis Creevey a fourth year said passing them.

Hermione cringed and grabbed a hold of Ron’s robes, “Please not the Creevey brothers I’ll go out with Blaise just no Creevey’s please.”

“He’s not a Creepey I promise. Stop worrying I think you’ll like him.” Ron said.

Luna, Coco and Oz were making their way into the Great Hall where a crumpled Draco was lying in front of the doors in the fetal position.

“Dragon!” Luna shouted running to his side.

Coco and Oz grabbed her and pulled her right over Draco and into the Great Hall. In the process Oz stepped on him and mewled in pain.

“Isn’t it enough that I’ve been kicked in the balls, do you have to step on me when I’m down?” Draco asked.

“At least I didn’t kick you. You should get some ice for those balls I don’t think you have to worry about shrinkage. Better yet keep them swollen it might help your life out.” Oz said as they continued into the hall.

“That was a classic burn, but why pray tell do you know so much about his package?” Coco asked.

“She walked in on us after our lovemaking and saw Draco in part of his glory, from the waist down you know.” Luna explained, “She says he has a size problem but I think it’s perfect.”

“It was pale flaccid and tiny, how is it pleasurable? Do you think Ron is lacking in that department?” Oz asked, “If so I should prepare myself so I don’t laugh at him. I’ve seen kids hung better than Draco.”

Coco laughed loudly and they made their way over to the Gryffindor table where Ron, Harry, and Hermione were sitting.

“I see you talked her off the ledge.” Coco said taking a seat next to Harry.

“Well, as you say you know how we do.” Harry said smiling.

“Ron I want a simple yes or no answer from you. Do you have a little dick?” Oz asked.

Ron dropped his fork and just stared at her, “Um…”

“Well, what’s your answer. It’s simple yes you have a little dick or no you have man sized cock.” Oz said.

“May I ask what has prompted this question? Did any of you by any chance see Draco naked?” Harry asked.

“I hate to ask this of you Sugar Dick but how would you know what Draco looks like naked?” Coco asked.

Harry started to answer but Oz interruppted him, “Ew…um I don’t care first things first Ron do you have a small cock.”

“I can show you if you’d like…” Ron suggested.

“Please not here theres enough meat on this table already.” Coco said, “I don’t know how to manage the sausage I’ve already got.”

“Could you not squeeze my dick in public?” Harry asked.

“Again…gross…I just want a yes or no answer.” Oz said.

“No…” Ron said his cheeks going a little pink.

“I wager twenty galleons he’s lying.” Hermione said shaking her head.

“I’ll take that bet.” Luna said.

“I’ll take it too, twenty bucks though from me if I lose. I think he’s telling the truth if he’s lying I’ll just clown him later.” Oz said.

“How are we going to find out?” Coco asked.

All three girls were eyeing her.

“Nope, un uh hell no. I already know who’s lost the bet do I gotta look at to prove it?” Coco asked.

“How could you possibly know that?” Hermione asked putting her napkin primly in her lap.

“My third eye is telling me the answer.” Coco said.

“Just whip it out under the table and let Oz take a peek. No need being shy she’s going to see it sooner or later.” Harry shrugged.

“Nah, I’ll suck that dick when I get to it. If I get to it.” Oz said.

“Fine, fuck I’ll look.” Coco said.

Ron shruged and let himself out of his jeans. Harry covered his face with a napkin.

“Just as I already knew, this mother fucker is hung like a damn horse. Put that shit up I’m going to get nightmares thinking of that snake coming after me.” Coco said.

Ron got even redder than before.

“Whoo whoo! I got some galleons for me!” Oz said.

“Pay up Granger.” Luna said holding out her hand for money.

“Fine, ten a piece.” Hermione said.

“Bitch you said twenty now pay me before I cut your ass.” Oz said, “Don’t play with my money it’s like playing with my emotions, this ain’t no game. If you wanna play games buy a Playstation bitch.”

Hermione grungingly forked over forty galleons to Luna and Oz who were quite pleased with themselves.

“Is it over?” Harry asked peeping from behind the napkin.

“His dick has been put up for weeks. But I noticed this little conversation was very stimulating for Ron jr.” Coco said.

“Well, it had to be hard for you to get the full effect.” Ron said.

“Why is your dick hard in the Great Hall, you nasty.” Oz said.

“I can’t have people thinking I’ve got a little dick now can I?” Ron said.

“Now that we’ve put that rumor to rest I’m going to have a drama free meal without a sing along if you please.” Hermione said.

“I concur.” Coco said.

“Look I think Drew is talking to Snape about the musical, I wish I could hear better.” Oz said turning everyone’s attention to the staff table where Drew was talking to Snape.

“I don’t dance from HSM 2”

Harry was laughing so hard when the song ended and Snape stormed out of the room he was crying, everyone else was in a state of shock from seeing Snape and Drew’s battle royal dance off.

“I think my soul died,” Coco said.

“I feel myself get lamer for having watched that.” Neville said from down the table.

“When the fuck did you get here?” Oz said.

“I been here all the damn time.” Neville said.

“You need to contribute in the conversations you might spark an interesting conversation with that special someone.” Coco said winking at Neville and shooting a glance toward Hermione.

Neville blushed and looked down at his plate, “I’m more of a background guy, I’m not even a sidekick. I’m the dude that get’s kicked in the side.”

“Not for long, I already have concocted a plan to push you front and center. Especially when it comes to that certain someone you like.” Harry said.

“Quit gossiping Harry, I swear you’re worse than Coco.” Ron grumbled, “That shit is supposed to be a surprise if they figure it out it won’t be fun for me.”

“What she’s not even listening.” Harry said.

“Whatever little plan you ladies have worked up in your feeble little minds isn’t going to work if you keep blabbing about it like a bunch of teenage girls at a slumber party.” Oz said, “You both need to man up.”

Dinner was soon over and the Hogwarts Six were in the Room of Requirement. As usual the group were just sitting around talking amongst themselves. The girls all looked at each other Oz had a look of disgust on her face as the three girls burst into song.

“Many say that I'm too young. To let you know just where I'm coming from. But you will see. It's just a matter of time. My love surely make you mine.” Luna sang.

“Well, I’m living' in a world of ghetto life. Everyone is so uptight
Nothing’s wrong, it's alright, my man. I like the way we carry on
His love will send me on and on, with my man
People out there can understand.” Oz sang.

“I'm giving him something he can feel to let him know this love is real.
This love is real.” All three girls sang.

“So much joy for us it seems. So much hope for material things
Are they only in my dreams? And that's why I'm singing this song to you
To let you know that real dreams do come true. You tell me 'what does it mean'.” Coco sang.