A Return To Hogwarts

When we awoke the next morning, the fire was out, but we were still warm in each other’s embrace. I felt quite rested, and Severus had an unnatural glow to his usual pallor. He decided it would be best if we got down to business about his duties for me as his assistant, as we still hadn’t quite gotten to that part yet. Before we discussed those matters, I only wanted to lay with him like this for just a while longer. He agreed with me, and told me he wasn’t planning on rushing into the day like that anyway.

“You know,” he began with a thoughtful air to his silky voice. “You should stay here, at Hogwarts. I’m sure Dumbledore would agree to keep you on, as a permanent fixture.”

“I was thinking about that too. I will seriously consider it, if Dumbledore asks me.”

Severus looked a little hesitant, after our night together, it seemed as though he thought I would leave him. “Do you mean you would leave, back to Iceland, after the school year ends?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I want to stay, really I do, especially with you.” I was certain that if King Hrothgar had known I was finding happiness here, he would accept my decision to stay here, however disheartened he would be. He is like my father, after all, and parents do eventually have to let go of their children, even though I was not a child when I had come to live with the Vikings. High In the ranks as I was in their army, I believe he would not swear I was mutinous, and order me killed as a traitor. I could take on half the army as it is, and I know Hrothgar knew I would not die a coward. I had wondered if I would be ordered to return the artifacts, though, or if I would be allowed to keep them as they were given to me. “I need to send word to my home that I will be staying here indefinitely, and I am needed here. I will wait a while before I tell anyone at home about us. I don’t want to have any howlers sent to me about us.”

Severus nodded in agreement, and then sighed and held me close to him, relieved I didn’t want to run away from him. “You look so beautiful this morning. I was hoping last night wasn’t a dream, I am pleased to find it wasn't.” he said in a soft, silky, satisfied voice.

“I am too, believe me, after that first night.. That was frustrating…“ I laughed.

Severus emitted a single chuckle, ‘hm’, and rested his head on my chest, using me as a soft warm pillow. We were still naked, and quite at ease with each other as if we had been together for some time, despite the fact we were still only a new couple. It was as though we had been together longer, or that we had been together before. Everything about this moment felt so familiar. Perhaps in a past life, we were together this way. I wondered if I should bring it up, maybe he thought the same thing, it was an undeniable, unshakable feeling.

After a while longer, he insisted we continue what we started yesterday in the shower, this time with satisfying results, and no more abdominal throbbing from the lack of following through, as I felt yesterday for most of the better part of the morning. Then we decided we should get down to ‘assistant business’, just after breakfast.

Dumbledore and McGonagal greeted us in the staff lounge that morning, he asked how we were doing, I merely giggled like a school girl, while Severus maintained perfect composure. He told him we decided to take on this relationship, and let whatever the future holds to just let it happen. Dumbledore looked very pleased, while Minerva looked a little unnerved as though she had just accidentally swallowed essence of murtlap, she obviously had reservations about Severus and I. I’m not sure if she was disgusted, or thought it to just be plain unprofessional. After a while she warmed up to us again, finding that we were not going to be all over each other, in a nauseating display of public affection. A while into breakfast, Hagrid came in, and filled us all in about his new ‘projects’. It turns out they are vicious sounding little creatures, but he claims it’s all talk, ‘bad publicity’ he says. I have a sneaking suspicion it‘s more than ‘just talk‘, but since he is now my co-worker I think I should keep my opinions to myself.

After breakfast, Severus and I decided to head outside to the courtyard, to talk about duties and so forth. It turns out I only have little things here and there that he wants me to do, mostly with grading potions written exams, helping him set up for class, doing inventory, and stocking his storage.

“Severus, what do you think I should do at this ‘counselor’ thing that Dumbledore asked me to do?”

He glared at me for a moment as if in disbelief I would ask him for his opinion about it, and finally said, “What did Dumbledore tell you?”

“To do with it whatever I wanted, to use my creativity.”

He made a noise that sounded like a grunt, “Well you will have to do just that.”

“I’m just not looking forward to listening to whining kids all day.”

“Ah, and therein lies the problem.” He grunted again, scoffing at the thought of ‘whiny kids’. “We do have too many whiny kids here, but if you just listen, nod your head now and then, you should be fine.”

I know he doesn’t have too much experience being compassionate, but his answer was typical of him. I would have to just go with the flow, I’m sure Dumbledore had his reasons to ask me to do this. It definitely didn’t suit me, whatever Dumbledore may have thought about it. I settled back, leaning into Severus, thinking about what I would do. The sun warmed us, and the breeze made the day very comfortable. We decided we could go for a walk, and we went around to the shores of the black lake. We sat down on a large rock, just to look out at the rippling water. Severus looked behind us to make sure we hadn’t been followed. He kissed me gently, and put his arm around me to bring me closer to him.

“Severus?” I said with quiet contemplation.

“Yes, my love.”

“Do you think this area is secluded enough?”

“For…” he knew what I was thinking, because a defiant smile crossed his face, as he looked into my eyes. “Do you want to make love, out here?”

“I had thought about it.” caressing his thigh, getting close to his groin.

“You are a little vixen, aren’t you?” he said in that soft silky deep voice that made me feel like swooning.

“Well?” I said.

“You may have to ahh… convince me.” he said wryly with one eyebrow raised as he tossed his head, making his hair go back out of his face.

I led him to a tree trunk and he stood against it. I pleasured him with my mouth again. He moaned quietly and his body shivered in anticipation as he watched me, caressing the back of my head gently. He lowered himself to the ground, as he beckoned me to sit on top of him. I was wearing a dress again, so it was not that difficult to accomplish what I wanted to do. Again I teased him, and he begged and pleaded with me until finally when he least seemed to expect it, I allowed his entrance. His eyes widened and he moaned softly as he gained his access. He lasted much longer today, in fact we both lasted quite a bit longer. We seemed to be there in that position enjoying the pleasure of being together, as he massaged my chest and hips, and took my hands letting me prop myself up on his hands, for several long wonderful minutes. Then as I felt his tension building, as I glided back and forth on him, I felt close as well. At once the orgasm hit us, we moaned a little too loudly, scaring a flock of birds out of a nearby tree. Then we heard Hagrid hollering in our general direction. We felt like school kids about to get caught by a chaperone. Severus scrambled to put himself back in order, as I swished my dress to straighten it. Hagrid came bumbling around the trees white as a sheet, as if he was about to find someone in the act of killing. I helped Severus to stand just as Hagrid came into view.

“Oh, it’s jus’ you two. I mean, I thought I heard sum’un yelping in pain or … uh.. Well.. Yer all rih’ aren’ ya? Not hurt or anything, rih’?” he looked rather like he had seen a ghost.

“It’s ok Hagrid we’re fine.” I piped up. Severus’ face had flushed to a rather pale color, as he tugged his frock coat a bit to straighten it.

Hagrid looked at us both, and then we looked at each other, and back to Hagrid. We didn’t quite know what to say. I think Hagrid had realized mid-sentence, what had really been going on with Severus and I, and didn’t know if he should say anything else, but almost too shocked to move away. “We’re ok, Hagrid.” I said, sensing his embarrassment.

“Uhh.. Well, I uh, hope I’m not interruptin’ yer afternoon, I was jus’ out lookin’ fer stuff ter feed the critters back at my hut, an’ I heard, well… I’m sorry I think I must’ve ….” Hagrid was stammering, but looked as though he could either cry or throw up or faint.
“Hagrid….” Snape said coolly, “Look, it’s ok, we should have been a little more discreet about ….” I was surprised at Severus’ sudden compassion to Hagrid’s state. I nearly expected him to rip Hagrid’s head off at first, for nearly interrupting us.

“I’m sorry Professor,” Hagrid interrupted, wiping tears away from his eyes. “I’m jus’ so happy fer you two, and I had to interrupt yeh.” he said turning back to a normal color, wiping the sweat from his brow with a large hanky. “I didn’t mean ter.. I didn’t see yeh.. Well.. I’m not goin’ ter Dumbledore, don’ worry ‘bout that.. I jus’..”

“Hagrid,” I said in a polite manner “You didn’t interrupt anything. It’s ok, really.” I was lying to Hagrid, and I felt a little uneasy, however it wasn’t Hagrid’s fault.

“Well, allrigh’” he said sniffling and wiping away another tear, regaining his composure. “Well, I’ll leave you two ter, uh, do whatever you need ter do. I’ve got a few things ter do too, not like tha‘… I mean, well.. I‘ll be goin‘.” he smiled and nodded, and backed away, finally turning on his heel and bolted from Severus and I in our little private clearing. Severus and I shared a laugh about it, it was quite humorous now that it was over. Not meaning any disrespect to Hagrid, of course, but the looks on his face were quite priceless, especially when he realized what actually had been going on.

After we sat for a while, enjoying the warm breeze under a shady tree, Severus told me that this evening the other teachers would began arriving back from their summer holiday, to resume their teaching positions for the year at Hogwarts. There would be a dinner marking the start of term for the teachers, before the arrival of the students, and of course I was invited. Dumbledore would make some announcements, and probably introduce me to the rest of the staff. Severus also said we should prepare to be bombarded with questions, in case it gets out that we are together as a couple before we can announce it to everyone formally. It was only a week from now that the students would be arriving by the Hogwarts train, and the brief intermission was for the teachers to get reacquainted and to prepare their lesson plans for the year, and whatever else needed to be done in preparation for the start of term for the students. We had decided, for the time being, not to advertise our relationship in front of the teachers, however, on our walk back to the castle for lunch, we ran into Nearly Headless Nick in one of the corridors inside.
“Why, Hallo’ Professor! Who is this you have with you?” he asked, begging to be introduced.
“Hello, Nicholas,” Severus said. “This is Siguna. She is my assistant.”
“Ahh.. Hallo’ milady! Seems a bit more than an assistant, eh?” he said to Severus, noticing that we were holding hands, looking as though he would burst from the juicy bit of gossip that was staring him in the face, us.
“Hmm.. Yes, well, I suppose you can’t keep a secret from a ghost. Yes Nicholas, she is more than an assistant.” he said curtly.
“And Dumbledore doesn’t mind this going on?”
Severus looked a little more than just annoyed, by being grilled by the Gryffindor ghost about our relationship. “Yes,” he said, almost in a hiss. “The Headmaster has given his blessing. Now, if you will excuse us, we have work to do.” his voice was soft, calm, and dangerous. I’m not sure why he felt the need to be up in arms with a ghost.
“Hmmph! I’m sure it is more than work that you two are up to, from the look of things. Good day, Professor.” sounding displeased, he turned to me, and gave a polite smile and nod “Milady.“ the ghost glared back at Severus, straightened his neck-ruff, put his nose in the air and floated off down the corridor, then through a wall.

Severus and I had decided, for the time being, to not advertise our relationship in front of the teachers. It could create tension, however by that evening the rumors would already be flying. Our chance meeting with Sir Nicholas, had prompted the Gryffindor ghost to shamelessly spout off about our more-than-just-a- Professor-Assistant-relationship. Perhaps this is what Dumbledore was talking about, about secrets and the inability to keep them. I could only imagine what that conversation between Nicholas and the arriving teachers was like: “Did you hear the Potions Master, has a pretty new girlfriend?“ perhaps his head popped off his shoulders as he spoke from terrible excitement for having a secret to share. Perhaps it was met by “Do you mean Severus, or do we have a new Potions teacher this year?” I chuckled at the thought of it, a bunch of teachers standing around a ghost cackling rumors like a bunch of busy hens. We found this out as we readied ourselves for the Professors’ (and Assistant’s) Dinner that evening, after all the professors had arrived that morning and afternoon. I heard Severus talking to someone, as I peeked into his study I saw it was the Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost, almost frightening to behold, drenched in silver blood. Apparently, he had heard the rumors and said it had already circulated among the staff. Severus was acting a little unsettled, but he shrugged, and ended with “Yes the rumors are true. Well, at least we won’t have to spend too much of the evening explaining everything, since they are already aware of it. I didn‘t intend to hide it from everyone, I would like nothing more to shout it atop the castle turrets, but I wouldn’t want it being advertised in the Daily Prophet either. However I am concerned with not creating tension among my coworkers, our coworkers. I want them to be assured, we will be as professional as usual among the staff, and the students when they arrive.” he said with a quick glance in my direction.

“What should I say to Nicholas, if anything, Professor?”

Severus was quiet for a moment, as if in contemplation. He then spoke again. “You can go tell that Gryffindor ghost I would prefer it if he would refrain from blabbing our business, no, better yet, tell him I am in love with her, and I could care less what anyone thinks about it.” He said, with a mutinous air to his calm voice. The Bloody Baron looked around and gave a discerning nod and floated through the closed door.

He came into the bedroom and asked if I had heard what the Baron had told him, I told him I had heard every word. He told me in regards to the circulating rumors, he felt it best to tell the truth when we are asked. I agreed, I didn’t want to hide our happiness. Although, I was the new face at Hogwarts, and the last thing I wanted was stress among co-workers, or flying gossip-talk. I didn’t care what they really thought about us, Dumbledore was alright with us, so that was good enough for me; on the other hand, I didn’t want to make my fellow staff members disgusted by my presence, either.

That night, at the Dinner, it was a little awkward, as Severus and I were briefly bombarded with “How did you meet?” questions, and “Weren’t you a student at one time here? I think I remember you.” After answering 10,000 questions about everything from soup to nuts (not literally), we moved on to school business. Severus and I were both relieved when Dumbledore interrupted the chatter, and introduced me, then began to talk about the reason he invited me here to join the staff in the first place. I asked everyone if they would like a small demonstration of some magic I learned at the different places I had been. Surely, since this is a learning facility, it would not be dishonorable to use magic in that sort of capacity. Severus nodded to me, as he was also curious to see what his Valkyrie was made of. I excused myself to put on my armor, and left Severus to the question-hungry professors again, which he was more than a little dismayed about. I quickly put on the glittering, swirly colored armor again. I strode into the hall with the air of a General, my King‘s General, as that is the title I bear at home. I felt so good to be in control of myself again, even if it was just for an exhibition of my knowledge. I thought about what to show them first as I strode up the aisles among the empty house tables in the great hall. As I neared the teacher’s table, Dumbledore had moved the tables to the sides of the room with a sweep of his wand in the air. He, too, looked anxious to see my talents, as he had undoubtedly heard the tales.

First I put my hands up to feel the air, and with my wand raised, I shouted “Thunderous Orinthius” and with a clap of thunder that made everyone jump at the table, a very large thunderbird appeared just over my head. At my command, it created a warm breeze, with its large wings. I then said the incantation to send it back. Professor Flitwick was extremely impressed, they all wanted to know what kind of bird that was. To which Hagrid blurted “Blimey! Tha’ was the bigges’ Thunderbird I’ve ever set eyes on!” He seemed to drool, eyes wide, an expression that only meant he wanted one of those.

“Yes Hagrid, correct, that was a Thunderbird. It was a real bird, not a spirit incantation, using that summoning charm causes them to appear to assist you, much like a phoenix,” I nodded to Dumbledore, who nodded back smiling with admiration, “however Thunderbirds are not normally summoned because of their huge size. Also, their emergence usually causes the thunderous sound you just heard, their arrival is marked by that sound, it is basically a kind of sonic boom effect. It is true they are associated with storms, and other weather elements. They are able to cause weather-like effects, which is how it produced the breeze you felt. Normally you could have it create a very strong wind to knock back opponents, but for the purpose today of summoning it I had it perform only a small breeze, so it wouldn't knock anyone out of their seats. They aren't usually something you want to call upon unless you can control it, so you have to be on good terms with it to begin with, also not recommended if you want a more stealthy aide. Thunderbirds usually dwell in the plane of weather-associated creatures, which is part of the otherworld, or underworld, commonly visited by Shamans and trance workers.”

Everyone ooo’d and ahh’d, and some questions started to come from the Professors, which I stopped them, and insisted they wait until I had finished. (which was followed by “There’s more?” “How could she top that?”)

“Now I will show you all something I learned in China… Draconis Asiamorphia!” as I said this a wisp of smoke curled around me in the air, and it began to take the shape of a Chinese Dragon, it began to shift colors on its scaly smoke skin. It flew up towards the teachers, some drew their wands, as though they felt the need to protect themselves against the dragon. However it didn’t attack, it merely danced in the air as though it was the Chinese New Year, before it finally swirled back around me and dissipated into thin air. Everyone was clapping.

“That, of course was a Chinese Dragon, in mist form, it can be used to attack your enemies, or you can use it as a shield when it swirls around you. I should have had someone try to hit me with a hex of some kind while it was around me. It would have been absorbed into the smoke, however it would have increased the likelihood of it attacking the one hexing me. That was a very small counterpart of the large one I can summon. The larger ones are more solid, and are a little harder to control. The one you saw is commonly summoned at Chinese New Year, of course, they rarely summon them nowadays, because it’s not very practical, and they have people who wear dragon costumes instead. However, occasionally in the higher altitude regions, where not many tourists are allowed to go, they do summon them on the new year because their presence is said to be good luck. I do have one last thing to show you. I think this is something you‘ll really enjoy… I would like to demonstrate the hand to hand combat skills I have learned, in the past few years, if the Headmaster will allow it.”

Dumbledore began to rise from his chair, “I will leave it to your discretion, Siguna.”

“Do you mind, sir, if I summon something I can battle with?”

Dumbledore looked a little dismayed, but not so that he was not calm. “As long as you are able to handle it, I don’t care if you summoned a mountain troll.”

“Then can we all step outside?” I said with a devious grin.

Dumbledore took a vote. Everyone was willing to go out, however once outside, they formed a large circle around me, wands out, in case whatever I summoned took on a mind of its own. It was still light enough outside, so I had plenty of time, forty five minutes at least, to vanquish what I summoned. Severus looked deeply concerned, I went to him, in front of everyone, and kissed him and told him I would be perfectly fine. There were a few gasps followed by inaudible whispering, apparently there was a wizard or two present who didn’t quite believe I was with Severus.

I had been examining my sword recently and found a niche in it that my wand fit perfectly into, so I drew it and attached my wand to it, and recited the summoning spell. A good sized mountain ash troll, wielding a club that had a spike driven through it, appeared out of nowhere. I ducked, dodged, and back flipped away from the madly swung club. I had shifted my sword to a small sharp dagger and got behind the troll to slice through its Achilles tendons, which caused it to limp terribly. I whipped around and changed the dagger back to a large sword again, and created a gash into its hand which was bleeding tremendous amounts of blood, I had hit my intended target of a main artery. Finally after a good while of tiring the troll out, I flipped upward, landing on its back to use my sword to plunge it into the depths of its skull. As it fell with a horrendous groan which made nearly everyone hold their ears, it disintegrated, leaving me on the ground where it was formerly standing. Again my display was met with applause, I took my helm off, wiped the sweat from my brow, and bowed to everyone. Severus looked quite pleased at that moment, and as everyone went inside, chattering with excitement, we stayed outside for a moment to breathe the fresh air.

“So how am I doing?” I said, a little out of breath.

“I think you have proven you can handle yourself without a doubt.” He said approvingly with a smile, and then he took my face in his hands and kissed my lips passionately. “Now we should get back in. Everyone is waiting.” Hand in hand we headed back to the great hall.

Once inside, we joined the others back at the table, finally it was time to eat. I ate till I was pleasantly full, and enjoyed another cup of that wonderful spiced tea I had a cup of on my first night here. After school business was settled and Dumbledore had made all of his announcements to the teachers for their start of term notices, I was once again faced with questions, my whereabouts the past few years, where I had learned those summoning charms, and of course about my armor and the sword I wielded to fight the Troll. I recounted the last few years of my life, and when I came to the story of Hawkwind I hesitated, but told a brief version that didn’t raise too many eyebrows, especially Severus'. I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. I just stated that I had a very close friend who was killed by a bear and his death caused me to move on. I know everyone got the jest of what I meant by very close friend, and nobody questioned it further. Severus briefly became distant when I spoke of Hawkwind, but I know he, of all people, understood we all have a past, and Hawkwind was someone who had made me who I am today. I ended with where I currently call home, Iceland, and the king who adopted me, and my brothers and sisters of the clan. I tried not to embellish it too much, as I’m nearly a hero back home, I still wanted to be treated like a normal person here. I would earn the respect from them, not awe them with my previous deeds.

“Have you been formerly trained as a Shaman, Siguna?” asked Professor Flitwick, still deeply impressed by my summoning charms.

“Actually, yes, I’m not a master, but I am experienced in trance work. It involves going out of your own body to visit the otherworld, but it has a big payoff.”

“As we have seen, yes, yes it does.” He nodded with startling approval.

“Siguna, how is it that you go into a trance state to visit the other worlds?” asked Professor McGonagal, also taking an interest in the current line of questioning.

“Well, it’s really not as difficult as you would think it would be. It just requires a state of pure mind, that is you have to dismiss all thoughts, and sit or lay quietly until you feel you are about to fall asleep. That is where it gets tricky. You have to recognize you are about to fall asleep and instead shift your awareness, without waking yourself into complete consciousness, to get ‘out and about’.” I said, trying hard to explain it in the easiest to understand sort of terms. “Then once you are out, you can do whatever you want.”

“So what happens to your body?” said McGonagal, with slight concern.

“Normally, you would have to make sure you are in a safe quiet place to begin with, but it always helps to have someone to watch over you, as most Masters do with their apprentices.”

“What if your body is hurt while you are out.” she said leaning in.

“Well, if you aren’t badly hurt of course you will pop back in, and do what you need to do, however if you are killed you won’t get back in, obviously, but it is a rare occurrence. I don’t know of any people alive today who have ever injured while in that state. I’ve often wondered if the killing curse kills your soul, or if it kills your body. If it was your soul it killed and it wasn’t in your body at the time, would you still be alive?” I asked rhetorically. “However if it is your body, then of course you’d be dead anyway.”

Some of them seemed a little unsettled when I brought up such a controversial topic, however Flitwick saw the debate of it, and nodded; while Severus kept his eyes on his plate, as if he hoped he wouldn’t be dragged into the conversation about death and killing. Fortunately, it did stop Professor McGonagal from asking more about by body when I am not inhabiting it.

“So is tha’ how yeh met that big beautiful bird?” Hagrid said, still absorbed by the memory of the Thunderbird.

“Of course, Hagrid. I was doing research while in North America on weather and natural magic, while living with a tribe of Native Americans. Well, I had already become familiar with trance-states, and decided to pursue the venture into the planar worlds. When I visited the planes that are ruled by weather elementals and the like, I met the Thunderbird. I offered him a gift, and went back several times to visit him, and now I consider him a friend, he‘s never failed to come to my aid. I will probably have to visit him again soon and explain the events of today. He‘s usually accustomed to helping me defend myself, not creating a breeze for onlookers.”

“Do yeh think yeh offended him?” Hagrid said with concern.

“No, I just think it may have been confusing to him. I’m not too worried.”

“So how do you find these creatures?” Flitwick piped up again.

“Well after you get to the plane you are wanting to visit, they usually find you. It’s hard to explain. If they don’t want to be found, you won’t find them. Like the time I visited the planar realms of water, I didn’t see one mermaid there, at the time I had never seen one and thought they would be interesting to work with. I searched for what seemed like hours, and they are plentiful there. Well, imagine you visit a large city, and you want to see a person, but instead you see every bird, or every cat, or dog, but no people. That is how it went.”

“Amazing.” said Flitwick. “Absolutely amazing.”

“One other interesting thing of note, speaking of water planes, and this was at first very difficult to comprehend for me, when you are out, your body still functions normally, however, your soul does not need air to survive. So while you visit the plane of water, or even the plane of fire, you are much like a ghost. You don’t burn or need to breathe.”

“That makes sense.” said McGonagal and Flitwick, nodding in unison.

Severus had begun listening again, after the conversation had went back to matters away from death, and killing. “So how often do you go out of your body, Siguna?” Severus asked.

“Whenever I feel the need. Sometimes it happens at least once a week. It’s a good way to recharge your inner batteries, and feel more at peace with the world.”

“So you don’t have to do it just to go and visit other worlds of existence?” Severus asked with profound interest.

“No, not at all. If you just wanted to find a quiet place on a beautiful empty beach to watch dolphins play in the water, you could do that.” I was mildly intrigued that nobody here was that familiar with trance work.

“I think we should start a new class, about trance working.” said Flitwick, setting his wine goblet down with a clank. “I would only wish I was still a student!”

“No, I’m afraid I’m not a master, I don’t have the right to teach it.” I said with honorable conviction.

“How do you become a Master?” Flitwick asked.

“Well it involves more extensive training, sometimes very harsh. Occasionally it involves your body being subjected to abuse while in trance states. Like being whipped with a scourge, or other extreme conditions. I have heard it is very painful after you get back in. I have passed the first level to master-hood, but couldn't seem to get the nerve to continue.”

“The first level? Which is…?” Flitwick asked leaning in.

“I’d almost rather not say.” I said blushing.

“Oh you can tell old Flitwick.” he said, pushing my buttons.

“Ah.. Well alright,” I said trying to not blush. “Sexual trance.”

“Oh!” Said Flitwick, taken aback a little, now he turned a rosy color.

Severus choked on his wine. He cleared his throat loudly. He said in an audible whisper with eyes wide “Have you ever…wi..with me..” but he stopped.

“No Severus, I haven’t.” I said truthfully.

Flitwick blushed a little redder, as he obviously heard Severus. Trying to maintain his composure, but still curious, Flitwick asked with an air of modesty “So how do you.. I mean…”

Cutting him off, I said “Well, it involves someone you trust deeply, and for me it was Hawkwind, he was also trained in trance. We were already… lovers… and it was actually a strange but pleasurable experience.” I tried to maintain prudence while explaining it but Severus was again becoming uncomfortable hearing me talk about Hawkwind to this degree.

“So, this Hawkwind,” began Flitwick, “You said he died. Was it from trancing?”

“No, no… he was brutally killed, beheaded by a rabid bear in his sleep on a hunting expedition. It was actually during a type of ceremony he was leading for a boy who was about to enter manhood in the tribe. Late that night, the bear somehow descended into their camp, and killed Hawkwind. He was asleep by the fire, and the bear, being rabid had no fear whatsoever, the bear must have been hungry and had smelled food I assume. I’ve moved on, it was quite a few years ago. He was a good man, but…” I said grabbing Severus’ knee “I am quite happy now. I'd really prefer not to talk about it.”

Severus had never heard the whole story, and he was becoming pale, but placed his hand on my hand, which rested still on his knee. He stroked my fingers. He then reached for my cheek to caress it, and he whispered “I’m sorry, that must have been hard for you.” and he gently kissed my forehead, which caused Flitwick to blush again and turn away as if he understood Severus and I needed a moment.

After all their questions had answers, they again moved on to school matters, chit chatting about what to do with the school year, then someone made the suggestion I should be the next Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I answered that the thought was interesting, however I was already Severus’ Potions assistant. I don’t think, even if I wanted to, I could handle two classes at once. However I did say if anyone knew of a student who needed tutoring, I could possibly help with that, as long as it didn’t interfere with my other duties. Dumbledore nodded at that notion, and said if I thought I could handle it, I could do that instead of what we had previously discussed. I agreed, at least I could maybe integrate the two, I told him. It might even make me the “cool teacher,” or “cool assistant“ whichever. After the dinner, everyone came to shake my hand, and welcome me individually to Hogwarts. Some even wished me luck with my relationship with Severus. Many of them went to Severus afterwards, either patting him on the shoulder, or giving him a thumbs up, or lingering for a moment looking as though they were asking him more questions. Finally, and it seemed like eons, we were all retiring back to our respective places in the castle. I was so relieved it was over. Severus and I went into his study to sit by his fireplace. We were already pretty exhausted, so decided tonight was not a night for unlimited passion again. Instead he lit the fire, and we snuggled on the chaise-lounge in front of it. He stroked my hair as I laid my head on his chest. I kept my hand on his chest as I rested on him, just listening to his heart beat. We talked about the evening, and found it to be a success despite all the questions. He kissed the top of my head, and we relished the time we were spending together. I wondered how this would change when the students arrived, or if it would change much at all. I finally got the nerve to ask him his thoughts about it.

“My love, we won’t change, will we?”

“Everything is constantly changing. If you mean the way I feel about you, right now I don’t think it will ever change, at least I hope not. If you mean when the students arrive, of course we won’t be able to be as open when they are present, but our quiet time together in the evenings won’t. I don’t think I could get through a day right now without knowing you are here with me in some capacity, like this, or just knowing you are nearby. Why do you ask?”

“I was just a little… scared I guess, that when the kids get in you won’t have as much time for me, like this.” I said shakily.

“Oh dear one. As I said before, we will make this work. If I have to… cancel my classes for a day to spend that time with you to let you know how deeply I care for you, I would do it. It will be ok, I assure you.” he held me tightly, to comfort me, and I hoped he was right. “Now, if you are tired, as I am, we should go lay down.” He sat up, and I followed him back to his bed.

As we got comfortable, I rested my head back on his chest, to hear the comforting sound of his heartbeat. He continued to stroke my hair, as if deep in thought. Finally the movement of his hand slowed, and gradually he stopped. I knew he was asleep. His breathing was slow, deep, and rhythmical. I fell asleep shortly after that, feeling a little sad about the prospect that this could become rare, but contented in the moment for now. I was satisfied with his answer, but I still worried about it a bit. The last time I felt so strongly about someone, they were ripped from my life in a blink of an eye. I don’t think I could tolerate that pain again, no I don’t think I am strong enough to carry such a weight again. Not in this life, at least. We slept deeply and soundly, as though we hadn’t slept in ages. We felt comfortable, and secure in our blossoming relationship.