Perverted Potions

Thanks Onyx68, Darque Heart, Anguloce, Donotmess, catysmom, Chaos, Snapespet30, and Sureves. I certainly hope you lol at this chapter, I know I did as I was trying to come up with ways for Snape to make Hermione feel uneasy.

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Chapter 3: Phony Phallus

After her first, short Sex-Ed lesson, Hermione was fanning herself as she walked through the corridors to Gryffindor Tower to her Head Girl’s Room. She was unusually hot and couldn’t fathom the reason for it. She gradually realized that Professor Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts, former Death Eater, and the Infamous Greasy Git of the Dungeons, had aroused her to no end. She didn’t know his voice could reach her like that.

She kept thinking back to his voice and how lovely it would feel to have his mouth next to her ear, either telling her to pay attention or nibbling on it. She shuddered at the thought. Oh, his voice. It could cause such fear and yet now, he could lecture about the importance of the paper clip and she would be caught in a trance for sure. Whenever he hovered inches away from her face, she wanted to lean into him, instead of kicking him, but her fear got the better of her.

She stopped in the hallway and let out a scream and shook her head, not caring if anyone heard her. She should not be starting off her last year lusting after her Potions Professor. She should be looking towards some young thing, right? But most are still immature and inexperienced and talk of nothing but quidditch. Snape at least could be considered her intellectual equal. She let out an aggravated groan. Now she was comparing him to boys her age and finding him to be more attractive. He is her professor as well! How is she to survive his class now?

She slowly made her way to the Gryffindor portrait and said the password. She lazily made her way into the Common Room only to find two pair of expectant eyes staring straight her way.

“‘Mione, you’re back early,” Harry stated, “It’s only 7:20. How was Snape?”

“What did you learn?” Ron asked in a concerned tone.

Without looking at them, “One thing. Keep my legs shut.”

Ron laughed out loud before covering it with a horrible cough and Harry was too stunned for words.

She turned around, “Before you say anything, yes, I plan on going next week and no,” she lied (sort of), “Professor Snape was still his snarky self. Now, I have homework I need to finish before I go about on my rounds tonight.” With that, she left her best friends shocked and slightly amused.

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Snape noticed in his classes over the week that Hermione did everything in her power to avoid his eyes. She didn’t even raise her hand to answer a question. He smiled knowing that she was still uncomfortable around him; it would not be much longer until she would be out of his hands when it came to the Sexual Education class. Luckily for him, there have been no students to come by for his sexual advice. It would not be pleasant for either side of the party.

He had completed his new regimen for Hermione, mainly back up classes if this next one was not able to scare her away. He thought back to last Tuesday when he closed in on her. The look in her eyes was delicious. That was pure natural fear he had caused in her, but there was something else. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it, but he hoped he would see it again tonight. He wanted to figure out what it was and simply to frighten her again.

He glanced at his timepiece making sure everything for tonight was ready, five minutes until seven. He didn’t go to dinner tonight; he would rather be in the classroom to welcome Hermione. He needed to make her uneasy from beginning to end. Speak of the devil, he thought as he noticed a bushy-brown haired girl poke her head in.

“Hello, Professor Snape.” Hermione said as she opened the door, stepping into the room. Her eyes widened and mouth dropped open at the sight before her. It was Snape hovering over a nude body lying on a desk.

He set some wards on the door; he wanted to make sure she stayed for the entire hour. He was graced to see that petrified look in her amber eyes, although it was missing something.

“Miss Granger,” Snape nodded towards her. “I see you have noticed my dummy.”

She let out a sigh of relief, “It’s not real. So it’s yours?”

“I assure you I only bought it a couple of days ago for the teaching of the class alone. I’m not that lonely to resort to that method, Miss Granger.” Snape retorted. Hermione couldn’t help but giggle. Snape sneered at her in return. “Miss Granger, we will be learning about the male anatomy today. It’s best for you to learn about the opposite sex’s structure before going over your own.” He heard the sound of Hermione gulping across the room; it was hard not to smile.

“The male anatomy, sir?” Hermione sounded a bit apprehensive.

“Yes. Now, if you would make your way over here. I want you put your hand around the wrist of the dummy and say aloud, ‘male’. With this dummy you can control the gender, but with your vague demand it will just create the gender and not a face. I would rather not know who you desire at this moment, Miss Granger.”

Hermione wouldn’t want him to know either. She cleared her mind and said, “Male”. She looked up at Snape, catching his gaze. He glanced down at the crotch of the dummy, his way of telling her to avert her gaze down. She gasped as the dummy grew a pair of balls and a flaccid penis. Snape bit back his laughter after watching her eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

“Um, now what Professor?”

“Now you learn about the Penis, Miss Granger.” He pulled out his wand and used it as a pointer. “As you can see, this is the penis, obviously, the name originating from the Latin word ‘tail’, preceding the use of the Latin word, the English referred to it as ‘the Yard’. Protruding from the body is the shaft, followed by the foreskin and the opening; this is an uncircumcised penis. I take it you have not laid eyes on an uncircumcised penis or any penis for that matter, am I correct?” Hermione nodded, blushing terribly. Snape smirked at her innocence, “Say ‘circumcised’.”

She did so in a shy voice and the foreskin of the dummy retracted into the penis revealing a much more defined shape in its limp state.

Snape continued with his lecture of the composition of the penis and the testicles, never missing a beat. Hermione gradually became relaxed as he continued to speak, until he asked her to touch it.

“Excuse me?”

“Did I st-st-stutter, Miss Granger?” Snape mockingly asked her.

“No, sir. But why must I touch it?” She felt her cheeks grow hot under his gaze, wasn’t this class over yet?

For my amusement, “To see it in its erect state.”

“Couldn’t I just say ‘erect’ or something? Surely, you don’t expect me to touch it.”

“No, Miss Granger, you cannot ‘just say erect or something’. You wanted to know about sex and I am going to teach you. Your first lesson will be how to stroke.” Snape’s face was devoid of any emotion, even though he so desperately wanted to laugh. He was blessed to see the fear in her eyes yet again, as well as that missing something from earlier.

Hermione bit her lip under his gaze. This was incredibly embarrassing, having to perform a sexual act on an inanimate object. She can’t deny the fact she wondered how it would feel in her hands, but while he was watching?

As she began to move her hand, he stopped her by saying, “Spit in your hand first, it will act as a lubricant.” She furrowed her brow and let out an irritated sigh. She reluctantly placed her hand in front of her mouth and spit in it. She held her breath as she took her trembling hand and lightly grasped the shaft of the penis.

“Good, that’s a start.” He walked around the table until he was beside her. “Now, position your hand to where your index finger is just below the glans, the head of the penis. There, now slowly pump the shaft. See? It’s hardening.” No shit, Hermione thought as she continued to stroke the phony phallus. “At this time you would ask your partner if he likes it: the grip you are using, the pressure, the tempo.” Hermione nodded. He liked how she would innocently look for his sign of approval is she was doing it right.

He leaned over to her ear noticing her hair smelled faintly of jasmine and vanilla, “The only bad thing about this dummy is that it does not respond,” she shuddered as his breath tickled her ear, “which is extremely enticing in any sexual act.”

Hermione paused at her professor’s unveiling of that intimate bit of information. She looked over her shoulder at him and softly said, “I thought you said you were not that lonely, sir.”

“I assure you that I am a lonely man but would not resort to having sex with an inanimate object. The dealer informed me of the shortcomings of the doll, which I agree with. A person who is able to respond will always be more desirable.”

Hermione scoffed, “Except Trelawney.” Hermione gasped as she realized she said that aloud, but surprised even more to hear a soft chuckle.

Imitating Trelawney, Snape said in a dreamy voice, “I predict… that I will come…” Hermione let loose a howl of laughter before covering her mouth with her hands. Snape couldn’t help but point out she had just had her hand on the penis, which Hermione responded by rubbing her face with her robes.

“Miss Granger, if you would get back to the penis at hand.” Pun intended.

She nodded curtly and set back to work. She continued to stroke and seriously wondered if she was doing it wrong, it felt like five minutes had gone by.

Snape noticed the annoyed look on her face as she stroked the member. He suggested, “It never hurts to use your free hand to increase the stimulation.” She nodded again, but didn’t know where to place her free hand, so she put it below her right one. Snape let her continue with that placement until it was obvious nothing changed.

Snape interrupted her ministrations by placing his hand over her left; he felt Hermione’s hand stiffen under his as he moved it, “Try placing your hand on his testicles, now gently massage them.” He let released her hand slowly after he demonstrated the tempo with his own. Snape knew this would definitely improve the stimulation; it is how he would like it. “Now, increase your speed and gently pull the testicles.”

He could hear Hermione breathe unevenly as she changed tempo and perspire a little. The faint smell of jasmine and vanilla had now engulfed his senses and he began to lean into her, but stopped himself before she noticed. Oh gods, he was getting aroused.

“Faster, harder,” Snape hissed, so they could move on and for his own sake. He tried to look away from the arousing sight, but it was hard to do. He hasn’t seen anything arousing as this in years.

Hermione put all that she had into this one act. She began to feel aroused, at what she was doing and the man she was lusting after currently was standing beside her. She wanted nothing more than to hide herself in her room after this embarrassing task.

“Use both hands now,” Snape whispered urgently into her ear. She did what she was told and after a few quick pumps, the phony penis ejaculated.

The professor and student both sighed in relief. Hermione eyed the milky substance as it ran down her hand and felt victory as she felt the member spurt its seed and deflate. She looked back at her Sex-Ed professor and smiled. She looked so innocent to him, even after performing such an act.

"Ten points to Gryffindor... for good wrist movement." He nodded briskly as approval before casting scourgify on her hand. He turned away from her to hide himself (and his own aching member) behind the safety of his desk.

“Now, that we have covered that lesson, Miss Granger, you will brew a potion that is meant to help a man with erectile dysfunction. Think of it as a Pepper Up potion for the Penis.” She approached the desk taking the instructions from him.

“Not to be rude sir, but how much longer is the class?”

“It is as long as I wish it to be. It will end as soon as you finish the potion.”

With that answer, she prepared herself a cauldron and gathered the ingredients. It was a simple a potion, shouldn’t take more than 20 minutes to prepare. Snape began marking his papers occasionally glancing up from them at Hermione. She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous, but she definitely was a natural beauty. She had a small, straight nose, slightly arched eyebrows, long eyelashes, and soft-looking lips. She had pulled her wild hair back into a pony tail exposing her neck, long and slender, unmarked. Snape shook himself from his daydreaming muttering, "student... student..." and went back to his marking.

It was not long until she approached his desk with the complete potion. He looked at her and said, “What?”

“I’m finished, Professor.” She put her free hand on her hip in an annoyed manner.

Severus snorted at her gesture, “Oh no, you’re not done with that, Miss Granger. You see, I want you to find a willing man to drink that and then give me the report of your findings.” Snape watched her reaction carefully. “That is, if you plan on returning next week?”

So that was the point of the whole lesson, she thought. I will not give him the satisfaction of leaving. She lifted her chin and replied, “Yes sir, I do plan on returning.” Snape raised an eyebrow to her.

“Good, then you should have no problem with coming back with a report.”

“Of what exactly?”

“How long it took for the man, or boy, in your case, to become erect; how long was he erect? Did he use a method in order to relieve himself, which he most likely will; what method was it? Then give me a detailed report over how the ingredients affect man’s sexual organ and which ingredient does what. And no, I will not want to know the name of your willing individual.” Hermione sighed in relief.

“Is that all, sir?” Hermione asked before gathering her things.

“Yes, Miss Granger, good night.”

“Good night, sir.” She left.

Snape leaned back into his chair and released the breath he was unconsciously holding in. Hermione was not going to give this class up. This is very unfortunate for him, because he had to continue to waste time to teach this unnecessary class and for a moment he actually enjoyed teaching her. That and watching her give pleasure to a dummy; he honestly wished he was the one to be on the receiving end of her sleight of hand.

If she didn’t drop this class soon, he didn’t know if he could handle another task like the one he had her perform without exploding in his trousers.

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reviews and hints welcome! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.